Change of Heart
by LuvCullens
Summary: *COMPLETE* Bella, has spent her life hating and loving Edward Cullen. When she returns to Forks after ten years, will she fall for Dr Black, or will Edward see he wants her to have a change of heart?
1. Chapter 1

**Bad News**

It was my favorite time of night, Twilight. Evenings in Santa Monica were beautiful, warm air with a gentle, cool breeze. Coming in from my nightly run, I reached up onto the ledge of my back door and pulled down my spare key. As I opened the door to my townhouse the cool air conditioned air hit me as if I had opened a refrigerator door. I flipped on a light and went to grab a bottle of water. I could still feel the blood pulsing through my veins and my clothing plastered against my skin due to the gross amount of sweat my body had produced. As disgusting as that sounded, I thrived off of it. Running was my passion. I was good at it. I felt invigorated afterward, and it was therapeutic. I began my routine of stretching on the living room floor; when I was interrupted by the ringing shrill of my phone.

Casually I dragged myself off of the floor to answer the phone, completely unaware of how dramatically this phone call would alter my life.

As I glanced at the caller ID the name read Private Caller. Normally I would let a private call go to my voice mail, but I caught a glimpse of the number and saw the area code was in Washington There were only a handful of people in Washington, that I still knew, and none of them were private numbers. Something in my gut told me there was a problem.

Reluctantly I picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Is this Isabella Swan?" The calm, deep voice that came from the other end of the line was not a voice I recognized. Panic definitely started to kick in. Nobody called me Isabella. Nobody, other than,… my dad.

"Yes?"

"This is Dr. Black, I work at Forks Hospital. Your father Charlie was brought into the hospital this evening and he has you listed as next of k…"

"CHARLIE! What happened? What's wrong with him?!" As I spat questions toward the doctor, my vision started to blur and I felt myself starting to panic.

Leaning my back against the wall, my sweaty body slid down to the ground. I forced myself to take long slow breaths. I knew I needed to gain better control of myself so I could figure out what was going on.

The doctor's voice began to filter my thoughts as I began to refocus. "Charlie has suffered a heart attack. He is in stable condition, but we believe he might need to have heart surgery."

I couldn't believe this was happening. All I could think about was the possibility of losing him. I knew I needed more answers and to get things settled before I could allow myself to fall apart.

"Dr. Black, I need to know what's going on and I don't like having things sugar coated. Please, tell me what exactly is going on." I hated to sound rude or aggressive, but I needed to be prepared so I could be strong for Charlie.

The doctor was very comforting and he answered all of my questions for the next twenty minutes.

"Dr. Black, how long should I plan on being there?"

"Miss Swan you know I can't answer that question." I could hear he was reluctant to give me that standard answer.

"How long after the procedure will his recovery take?" I could feel as the conversation was coming to an end and I was starting to lose what little control I had over my emotions.

"We're looking at anywhere from six to twelve weeks. Maybe longer."

There was no question I would go to Forks, but six to twelve weeks was a long time to be away from work and my life. My dad and I were close. Well, we were as close as two people like us could be. Neither of us was very affectionate or expressive of our feelings. We were actually really great companions. I went to live with my dad when I was seven and lived with him until I left for college. We had a very comfortable relationship. I loved my dad.

"Thank you. I'll be there as soon as possible. Could I speak with him?" I wasn't sure what I would even say. Since Charlie and I were not great conversationalists.

"He's resting now, and I think it's best that he does so."

"Of course, I appreciate your honesty, and kindness. I'll do my best to be there tomorrow." I knew he could hear the trembling that was beginning in my throat as my tears started to spill over my eyes.

"I look forward to meeting you."

_Click._

The phone dropped from my hand to the hard wood floors and I collapsed onto my side, as the flood gates of my cries were released. My body began to tremble against the wall and my hiccupping cries echoed through my ears. I had officially become hysterical. The realization that I was all alone, with nobody to comfort me caused me to sob even harder.

Sometime later, when I was all cried out, a gear shifted within me and I was immediately on the phone with the airlines, the publisher I work for, and my neighbor trying to make arrangements for my departure the next morning. I had things to take care of and a place to be. I couldn't sit around crying and feeling sorry for myself.

There was one more phone call I needed to make. It was to the one person who could make me feel so much better.

Her sing song voice, answered on the second ring. "Hi Bella." There it was the voice I so needed to hear. Unfortunately hearing her voice retriggered the water works.

"Bella……what's wrong?" her voice sounded so concerned and worried.

Alice and I had been best friends for as long as I could remember. I could still remember my first day of school at Forks Elementary.Some horrible girl Jessica Stanley was trying to stake her claim on the new girl. She sat me down at a bench trying to quickly inform me of all the kids I could and could not play with at the school. Luckily this adorable little pixie looking girl approached us.

"_Hi. I'm Alice. Are you Bella?" I nodded my head at her, with my jaw hanging slack. "Come here I want to show you something." She gave me a quick wink._

_I was totally confused, but felt pretty sure she was going to help me escape Jessica._

_Standing from the bench, I slung my backpack over my shoulder and looked at Jessica sympathetically, and shrugged my shoulders. _"_Okay, well it was nice meeting you Jessica. I'll see you later." _

_Jessica gave me a confused and irritated look as Alice linked arms with me and led me in the opposite direction._

"_Bella, I know we're going to be best friends." Alice said very matter-of-factly. _

And like the psychic she was, she was right, we were best friends from that day forward.

"Alice" was the only word I was able to choke out through my sobs.

"What is it Bella? What's wrong?" Alice asked, panicked and frantically trying to calm me enough to speak to her.

It's Ch-ch-charlie," I stammered. "He had a heart attack." I sniffed loudly and wiped the tears and snot off of my face. "I need you to go stay with him until I can get there." Another loud sob escaped my throat.

"What? Is he okay? Of course I'll be there. Is he at the Forks Hospital?"

My emotionally scattered brain could hardly keep track of what she was saying to me.

"Yes, he's at the hospital and they said he's going to be okay. I'm leaving in a couple of hours but still won't' be there until the morning." I could feel myself calming down knowing Alice would be there for Charlie until I could.

"Thank you Alice. I love you."

"Bella, be careful, and don't worry about anything. I love you too." I knew the concern in her voice, was just as much for Charlie as it was for me.

After three plane changes, five hectic airports, one car rental shop, and a three hour drive in the rain, I was finally approaching Forks. The chill and humidity that came through the cracks of my piece of junk rental rekindled all of my memories of this cold, wet town. As I passed the sign welcoming me to Forks, I felt the magnitude of the changes that were about to take place in my life.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Forks **

It had been almost ten years since I'd lived in Forks, and in those ten years it seemed as though nothing had really changed. The same restaurant my dad and I had eaten at twice a week still stood with its blue and white gingham curtains. The high school that looked a hundred years old when I attended still looked ancient but definitely smaller. There still was only one solitary traffic signal in the town. In a place this small not much seemed to change. I could find the comfort in consistency, but the chlosterphobia of such a small town. I'd only returned to my home town a handful of times in the last decade; mostly just for Christmas, once for my friends Rosalie and Emmett's wedding, and for Charlie's 50th birthday. The trips had been quick visits, nothing long enough to give me reason to venture around town. My best friend Alice was the only person I really kept in contact with through the years. We would meet up for a girl's weekend in different places, or she would often show up in L.A. for a visit while in town on business. We were lucky enough to have one of those friendships that no matter how long we'd been apart we'd pick right back up where we left off.

Even after all these years I was still able to drive straight to the hospital as if on auto pilot. The parking lot was fairly empty and I pulled into a vacant spot right up front. Clutching onto my bag, I hurried through the drizzle up to the front entrance. Knowing I was only yards away from my sick father made me extremely anxious to see for myself that he was okay. I was also sure Alice was ready to be relieved of her twelve hour post at Charlie's side in an uncomfortable hospital chair.

As I entered through the sliding glass doors, I realized how small Forks Hospital was. The old building smelled of antiseptics, with blinding bright white walls and floors, cheap fluorescent lighting, and only had two floors. I had visited many hospitals in LA due to my absolute clumsiness, and both the UCLA Medical Center and Cedar Sinai seemed like the _Taj Mahal_ in comparison to where I was standing. I really was back to my tiny roots.

As I approached the visitor's desk just inside the entrance, there sat a sweet looking, little old lady, with white hair and scrubs.

"Hello, Bella. It's been years since I've seen you. Look at you all grown up."

I tried to place a name with the face to this woman who appeared to know me so well.

"You must be here to see your dad. Oh honey you are such a dear girl to come so fast to take care of him." She had the sweetest voice and most sincere smile.

A click went off in my head. The school nurse. Of course she'd known me I spent a great deal of time in her office during my high school years. She'd probably be disappointed to know I still hadn't overcome my severe clumsiness.

"Thank you, Ms. West. Could you please tell me what room Charl— I mean my dad is in?" I asked trying to stop the polite conversation so I could get to my father.

"Of course, dear, he's in room 201."

"Thanks," I said already walking away.

As I exited the elevator, I released the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I walked only a few steps when I saw the door reading 201. I felt my heart begin to thud in my chest. I was suddenly filled with fear, unsure of what I would find behind that wooden door. The tears started to tickle the back of my eyeballs. Willing up all of my strength, I convinced myself that I was now an adult and my father needed me to be there for him.

I took one final breath from deep within my chest and then knocked softly on the door. Patiently I waited, staring down at my shuffling feet against the tile. I was about to reach for the door handle when all in one fluid motion the door was swung open and Alice had me in her arms at once. Her arms clasped around me so tightly I wondered if she had taken up weight lifting, but then her gentle fingers began to stroke down my hair. Clinging onto her like a baby chimp does to its mother, the tears began to fall and I refused to let her go.

As she pulled away from me and looked into my eyes, I was reminded of what a true friend Alice has always been— that and she was so tiny. She was maybe five foot on a lucky day, weighed as much as my left arm, and had short black hair like Audrey Hepburn in the movie "Sabrina." Her eyes were the most beautiful green I'd ever seen. Alice grew up in Forks with her parents, Carlisle and Esme, her older brothers Emmett and Edward. Alice never had to want for much in her life. Carlisle was a surgeon, who eventually was placed on the Board of Directors at the Forks Hospital. Esme came from a wealthy family as well, and received her inheritance at marriage. Some thought of Alice as spoiled, but the Cullen's were the most humble and gracious family I'd known. Alice had always had an eye for fashion and her idea of a fun night was staying home to do her own commentating of red carpets events. After graduating high school, she accepted an internship with _Vogue _in Paris. It didn't take long for Alice to decide she didn't want to be working on someone else's designs, she wanted to create her own. When she had the chance to come home, she quickly began work on designing her own line, and eventually headed to New York to make a name for herself. Her creations were immediately picked up by Bergdorf Goodman, because her designs were brilliant and I am sure it helped that Alice was persistent and had an inability to take no for an answer. She now has stores in New York, Los Angeles and Seattle. She came back to Forks about two years ago, tired of fast pace life and wanting to be with her family. I was always envious of the close relationship that family shared.

I was suddenly self-aware of my appearance in Alice's presence. I hadn't had a chance to shower before I caught my flight. My sweaty hair was shoved up in a pony tail and I had no makeup on. Large purple bags resided under my eyes_._ My attire consisted of a pair of black yoga pants, my favorite "Bite Me" t-shirt, and flip flops. A normal person would have made the time to shower at least. My focus had only been on getting out my front door.

My eyes studied Alice over; of course she was dressed to the nines in designer jeans, stiletto heels and a very fitting black wrap sweater with a plunging neck line. Her makeup and hair were flawless. She looked as if she should be on a runway, and to top it all off she'd been sitting in this hospital room for twelve hours.

_Life was so unfair_.

Hearing Alice's unspoken thoughts I replied, "I know I didn't have time to take a shower. I suddenly feel very plain standing here next to you," My voice came out in a slight snarl, but giving her a submissive smirk. Just being around Alice relieved some of my sadness.

Shrugging her shoulders with her fingers laced behind her back and refusing to make eye contact, she innocently countered, "What, I didn't say anything?" Alice tried desperately not to smile, but failed severely. This is exactly what I was talking about. We always continued on as if we'd never been apart.

"How is he?" I asked nodding my head toward the bed behind her.

"He's asleep right now, he mostly has been. Really, he only wakes when the nurses come in to check his vitals." She looked down at her feet and bit her lip. "Bella, I don't really know what people are supposed to be like after a heart attack, but he seems pretty weak, and……_not_ Charlie." She looked up with her sad eyes trying to be as strong as she could for me. I knew Alice loved Charlie like a second dad.

I couldn't help but feel like I was solely supposed to be the one who took care of Charlie, but I was selfish enough not to want to go through this alone. I reached over and clung to my anchor.

"Alice, thank you so much for being here. I don't know if you realize how much you mean to us." I released her little body, but held onto her hand.

"You and Charlie are my second family. I would do anything for you." My heart swelled because I knew that was true.

"Do you need to go to work? I'm sure you need sleep and a change of clothes. Have you ever worn an outfit longer than 24 hours before?"

"I called Rosalie to cover for me at the boutique."

One of our best friends Rosalie, now Alice's sister in-law, helped her run her boutique whenever Rosalie was in need of a break from her kids or her husband, Emmett.

"I'll give you some time alone with Charlie though and I'm sure you'll need to speak with some doctors. I'm going to run home and take a shower and a nap. Bella you call me if you need anything, a break, to talk, a shoulder to cry on. I'd be very offended if I found out you needed something and didn't call me." She tried to give me a stern Alice look, but she didn't scare me. Okay, maybe she did just a little.

"I will, I promise. Right now I just want to check on Charlie and then talk to his doctor," I said, trying to refocus on the reason why I'd come.

"Bella, why don't you stay with me, so you're not alone at Charlie's house?"

"I'll be fine. I'm going to stay at the house and try and get that place ready for him to go home. Who knows when it was cleaned last? Thank you, though. I wouldn't want to intrude on you and your, oh so perfect fiancé."

Alice was recently engaged to Jasper Hale. He had moved to Forks a couple of years ago, in search of a slower paced life too. He was a very successful therapist in San Francisco, and was tired of listening to all of the shallow problems his clients came to him with. He had been to Seattle for a conference once and decided he really enjoyed the Olympic Peninsula. He picked Port Angeles to start a small practice but resided in Forks. Jasper and Alice met in a little coffee shop the first week he was here, and they have been inseparable ever since. I was sure Alice didn't give him much of a choice. But, they both seemed to be blissfully happy.

"Bella, Jasper and I would be thrilled to have you." She almost looked upset by my comment.

"I'll keep it in mind, I promise. Now go home and get some sleep." I smiled.

She squeezed my hand and smiled as she gracefully walked out the door and down the hall.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Charlie**_

I took a deep breath, and adjusted the shoulder strap of my purse before closing the door behind me. Pressing my back against the door, I allowed myself to look at Charlie lying there motionless. The only sounds in the room were the beeping of heart monitors and the slight hiss of an oxygen tube.

Upon closer look I realized how right Alice had been, he looked so weak. His skin was pale, and his face appeared sunken in. His breathing was shallow, and there was a thin sheen of sweat covering his face.

The emotions flooding me were foreign. I felt completely helpless, out of control, and extremely emotional. How could one event put me in such turmoil, especially when the doctor had assured me he would be fine?

Taking tentative steps toward Charlie's bed, I wondered if my reluctance was so I wouldn't interrupt his rest or because I wanted to prolong the inevitable emotional breakdown when he opened his eyes. Leaning over the bed, I gave Charlie a small kiss on the cheek. This was an unusual gesture for me; physical affection was not one of my strong attributes— or an attribute at all. I stood there looking at my dad, wondering how someone that had always been so strong and invincible in my eyes could look so weak and broken. My heart started to crumble at the sight of the only family I really had.

Knowing I couldn't just stand here feeling useless, I quickly spun on my heel and headed out the door to the nurses' station. The nurse was talking on the phone, so I stood waiting patiently. When she hung up the receiver I began to speak but she held up a finger motioning for me to wait a moment. She then proceeded to make a page over the intercom.

"Dr. Cullen to room 120. Dr. Cullen to room 120." I heard her nasally voice shrill over the old speakers.

_Dr. Cullen? That's strange; I could have sworn Alice told me Carlisle had retired. I will have to go pop my head in and visit Carlisle once I take care of things with Charlie._

The nurse finally looked up acknowledging me.

"Could you please page Dr. Black for me? My father is Charlie Swan. I just arrived in town and I would like to speak to him."

"Of course, I'll do that right now," she replied with a genuine smile.

Wow people were so much nicer here, as opposed to the busy and annoyed people I dealt with back home.

I walked across the hall, to a chair and waited patiently for Dr. Black. A few minutes later I saw a doctor in green scrubs approach the nurses' station. He leaned in and asked the woman a question. She responded by pointing a finger in my direction, and the doctor turned toward my direction.

My mouth fell slightly as the amazingly good looking doctor made his way in my direction. He had black hair just longer than an army cut, dark brown almost black eyes, perfect full lips, light bronze complexion, and the nicest teeth I'd ever seen. Even with scrubs on you could see a very strong, muscular body.

As my eyes drifted back toward his eyes for a second roam, I caught his smile as he approached. Realizing that he had probably caught my embarrassing ogling, I quickly closed my mouth and averted my gaze. Standing in front of such a beautiful creature had suddenly made me very aware of my current appearance. I winced remembering the look Alice had given at the sight of my appearance just moments ago.

Why was it so easy for me to forget Alice's constant lectures? _"Bella, ten minutes that is all it takes to make a big difference. Run a flat iron over your hair, throw on some mascara and lip gloss. It will make all the difference and it takes no time."_

"Hi, Isabella, I'm Dr. Black." He held out his hand for me to shake and I got over myself and rooted my thoughts back to Charlie. "You made the trip quick," he said with a smile that I could've sworn that I'd seen on a _Crest Toothpaste_ commercial.

"….Yeah…I got on the first flight that I could and drove straight here from the airport."

"Let's have a seat here and discuss what's going on with your dad."

I nodded my head and took a seat on a cushion bench that sat against the wall.

"Bella, your father is making some progress. However, I strongly feel that a triple bypass surgery is necessary." I'm not sure what he saw in my eyes, but it made him hesitate.

"I want a second opinion. Are you a surgeon?" I snapped at him.

"I'm a cardiologist, I don't perform surgeries. I have, however, been discussing Charlie's case with our cardiac surgeon. He would like to run a few more tests, but he's fairly confident— as I am— that this procedure is necessary." He paused realizing I was holding my breath.

He reached over and gently laid his fingers on my shoulder, encouraging me to breath.

I let out a small smile and very slow breath, before I looked up at him and asked, "What am I supposed to do? I can't do this. It's too much. What if I lose him? How do I take care of him?" My body began to tremble, and I buried my face into my hands. I felt the sobs climbing up my throat.

Dr. Black's cell phone began to ring, distracting me enough to help stop the hysterics from erupting. He quickly retrieved it from his white coat pocket and stood, taking a few steps away from me. "Yes, thank you for calling me back. I have Charlie Swan's daughter here with me and we are discussing the procedure." There was a short pause.

"Yes her name is Bella." I lifted my head slightly, looking over at the doctor who seemed to have an annoyed look on his face.

"Of course, we'll meet you there. Thank you." He closed his phone and returned it to his pocket.

"Bella, that was the surgeon I was just telling you about Dr. Cullen. Apparently you already know him." He looked at me questioningly, he almost seemed as though that information bothered him. "We would like you to come to his office and the three of us can discuss the situation."

I felt the space between my eyebrows pucker in confusion. "Carlisle's working here again?"

"No, but his son Edward does."

Before I could gain better control of myself a small gasp escaped my mouth and my body stiffened. Dr. Black was very aware of my response to his information.

Edward Cullen. I had avoided any thought of that man for the last ten years— although my subconscious did not always cooperate with my logic. But just the sound of his name brought back every feeling I'd ever had towards that boy and there _were _many feelings. Just thinking about him made my heart leap and my fists ball up so tight, I could feel my nails cutting into the palm of my hand. I was suddenly aware of the fact that a set of brown eyes were watching my reaction.

"Isabella, everything's going to be fine. You know these surgeries are performed all of the time and patients go back to living a normal life." Luckily, he thought my reaction was due to Charlie's surgery and not because of Edward Cullen.

"I know. It's just different when it is your parent that it's happening to." I let out a deep breath. "Would you mind if I spend a little time with my dad first? I haven't even seen him awake yet."

He ducked his head down a little so our eyes were at the same level. "Sure, I'm sorry I didn't realize you had just arrived. I'll come back in about two hours after I've made my rounds. Then we'll go speak with Dr. Cullen." He gave me a comforting smile and laid his hand on my shoulder in reassurance.

"Thank you so much for all of your help and taking such good care of my dad, Dr. Black." He gave me a smile that only tugged at the corners of his mouth, and did not reach his eyes. "And please call me Bella."

His smile grew wider. "It's my pleasure. And please, call me Jacob."

As I stood, I extended my hand toward his. He quickly reached out and shook my hand; his hands were huge completely engulfing my own. His skin was so warm it was almost hot.

The intense stare he gave me made me feel like he was looking right through me. Feeling slightly uncomfortable, I had to look away and released my hold on his hand. I wondered if he was always this friendly or if he was flirting with me. I doubt he was flirting, that couldn't be ethical.

Charlie was still sound-asleep when I made my way back into his room. Quietly I walked across the room and dragged the folding chair in the corner to the side of his bed. I couldn't believe all the hospital offered was this wretched chair to sit in. They must do it on purpose making hospitals as uncomfortable as possible to keep visitors from lingering and annoying the staff. I sat down resting my arms on the side of the bed and watched Charlie sleep.

As my eyelids fluttered closed my mind immediately drifted back to the fact that Edward was working here and I was going to have to see him. How had it not occurred to me that _he_ was Dr. Cullen?

I'd known the Cullen's my whole life, they were my adopted family. My mom was not around and my dad had to work a lot of late hours as police chief. So I spent a great deal of my childhood in the Cullen home. When we were children, Alice, Edward, and I were like the three amigos. We were inseparable and created many adventures together. By the time we reached Jr. High, things changed. I started to be drawn to Edward in a way I'd never noticed before. I became aware of what all the other girls had already seen, he was the cutest boy in school, he was a natural athlete, and very smart. The problem was that I was plain and nothing to look at compared to the girls that would follow him around.

One day a bunch of neighborhood kids were on the trampoline playing "crack the egg" in the Cullen's backyard, one by one each of the kids had to go home for dinner or do their homework except me. As usual I would be there until well after dark, when Charlie would come and pick me up. All that was left on the trampoline was Edward and me. I refused to play "crack the egg" alone with Edward because I always ended up injured when I was the egg, and I could never bounce hard enough to crack Edward when he was the egg. We both sat down on the trampoline facing each other Indian style talking about our biology project. It was nice, we never really talked anymore. While Edward talked I got lost staring at is messy bronze hair, and his beautiful green eyes, completely unaware of what he was saying.

Suddenly I realized Edward's face was slowly inching toward mine, his emerald eyes staring at my face with his mouth slightly open. My heart started racing, I felt as if it were going to jump right out of my chest and hit him in the face. I couldn't believe Edward Cullen was about to kiss me. I'd leaned in towards him, closing my eyes, when I felt a shove against my shoulders pushing me away. I used my hands to stop me from falling on my back and my eyes quickly opened.

Edward was staring at me with huge eyes, leaning far away from me. "What were you doing? Were you trying to kiss me?" he spat at me with venom in his voice.

My skin started to burn and I could feel myself turning ten shades of red. My heart was pounding just as hard but for a completely different reason than moments before. I was angry, and hurt. I blinked away the tears I could feel pooling in my eyes.

I jumped to my feet. "No you were trying to kiss me. Like I would ever want to kiss you," I said lashing out at him.

"No, I wasn't! I thought you had a tic on your face and I was trying to check." He shouted at me.

I cupped my face with my hand and stormed away as quickly as my feet would carry me. Running into the house, I went in search of Carlisle. He would have to do his doctoring at home _again_. But more than wanting to get the tic off of my face, I wanted to escape Edward. I would never let him see that he made me cry.

Of course, my solution to the humiliation I'd suffered was not to suck it up and just pretend it never happened. I reacted with all the maturity of any thirteen year old girl, who had been shot down by a boy she crushed on. I decided that I hated Edward Cullen and I would never let him think that he was better than me again.

My actions continued through high school. I was extremely competitive with him. I was the only girl that could challenge him academically. I think this frustrated him because Edward was used to being the best at everything. I was breaking more track records than he was which I would constantly remind him of. He was definitely faster than me, but I was faster than all of the girls. We pushed each other to be even better just trying to outdo the other.

One area Edward would always be superior to me was his abilities the opposite sex. All of the girls waited in line for their turn with Edward, and he dated almost all of them. I on the other hand didn't really date at all or go to any dances growing up. I was just awkward in this area. All the boys that did like me grossed me out and there was only ever one boy I liked, and that was never going to happen. So, I just spent all of my time running and studying.

We rarely communicated except the competitive banter, I did my best to put him in his place, and of course it took all of my effort to be civil to him in his home. I didn't want Carlisle and Esme trying to force us to work out our issues. What would be my argument, I have a huge crush on your son and he's not interested. I'm trying to protect my heart by making it seem that it's my choice that he doesn't like me. Not really something I wanted anyone to know.

By the time graduation had arrived, I loathed him. He was so full of himself. I couldn't stand to be in the same room with him. I was going to go to UCLA, and he was attending USC. Even in our college choices we were rivals. My real frustration was leaving high school his equal, not better. We both ranked number one in the state in our track events. We ended up having the same GPA so we were joint Valedictorians, but he scored 26 points higher than me on our SATs. This was something that I was sure would bring me to a breaking point.

After graduation, the Cullens threw the biggest party Forks had ever seen. Everyone would be there. The furniture had been cleared from the downstairs of their gorgeous plantation style home. All of the trees in the backyard and lining the driveway were covered in white twinkle lights that you could see through the glass wall that covered the back of their house. The only lights inside were the ones the DJ had flashing to the beat of the techno music. Dancing was not something I was coordinated enough to do, so I made myself comfortable with a few other girls on the bottom of the stairs.

Edward approached me with his standard cocky grin on his face, with easy Jessica Stanley hanging on his arm.

"Nice speech today, Bella. Who would've thought you would give me such a run for my money? My speech was still better. I really know how to captivate an audience." He gave a slight smirk

I was fuming inside and continued his bout of diarrhea of the mouth."Too bad you aren't going to USC, and then I could've helped you through your college courses."

I could feel the heat boiling under my skin and my eyes were shooting daggers in his direction. "Please, Edward; I have never needed you for anything." I could almost hear the snarl in my voice.

"I guess it doesn't matter, literature classes are so much easier than the pre-med classes I'll be taking. You'd have to be an idiot not to do well." He had that stupid crooked grin so many girls swooned over and all I wanted to do was punch it off of his face.

_Did he really have the nerve to insinuate I couldn't keep up with him?_

It was almost as if he read my thoughts as he gave me an arrogant wink. It was as if it were pleasurable for him to get under my skin. That was the final snap. I wanted to steal the microphone from the DJ and scream, _I hate you Edward Cullen! _I took a deep breath and responded as intelligently as possible.

"As a matter of fact, Edward, UCLA has one of the most competitive literature programs in the country. I don't even think USC ranks in the top ten medical schools," I said giving him the death stare of a life time.

Jessica's voice broke me from my plans for murder. I had forgotten she was even there. "Geez Bella, you need to just relax. College is supposed to be fun. I can't wait to cheer for Peninsula College, and hit all the parties."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward roll his eyes and let go of his hold on her.

_Yeah, Edward, you should feel stupid dating such a moron._

I put on the most pleasant expression I could muster on my face and said, "You're right, Jessica, I'm sure I would be so much happier in life, if I took up cheerleading."

Edward let out a small cough to stifle the laugh he almost let go, trying to still look angry with me but enjoying my sarcasm. Jessica was totally oblivious and looked extremely pleased with herself.

I had to walk away from them because I could feel her sucking the brain cells out of my head.

The last time I saw Edward was the week before we left for college. Alice and I had just returned from a shopping trip for dormitory supplies, Edward was lying on the couch, watching the Mariner's game.

"Bella," my heart raced hearing him say my name, and I was angry that my body responded to him this way. "Maybe we'll meet up in LA sometime while we're at school."

I would not let myself be weak around him. "Maybe," I replied, trying to sound as casual as possible.

Of course, I knew I would never see him again. And I didn't.

I opened my eyes snapping my mind out of my memories. My stomach was turning into knots thinking about the unidentifiable hold Edward Cullen had on me. How had I let him have such an effect on my life for so long? Curiosity got the better of me and I wondered what he was doing with his life. What kind of doctor was he? Was he married? Does he have children? Is he still beautiful? Would he remember me? Would he act like we were friends? Mostly I wondered why I even cared.

I was pulled from my thoughts, as a felt a gentle hand run over the top of my head and a very hoarse and weak whisper, "Bella?"

I snapped my head up looking at my father. I stood and made my way to the top of his bed near his head. "Hi, Dad. How are you feeling?"

"Bella, what are you doing here?" His voice sounded so strained I could feel my heart breaking.

"Where else would I be, Dad?"

Then we sat in comfortable silence. We had said all that needed to be said, and neither of us wanting to talk about his condition.

**Author Notes: **

Just because my story is complete, doesn't mean I wouldn't love to get some reviews.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing from this wonderful world we call Twilight, it all belongs to the talented Stephenie Meyer.

**Meeting with Edward**

"He needs to rest." I laughed to myself as the nurse's words replayed in my mind. The hospital is the last place one should go to get a good rest; something is always waking you up. It's either that stupid blood pressure cuff squeezing your arm, the nurse's coming in to check on you, your food being delivered, or medication is being administered.

I remembered when I came to visit Rosalie when she and Emmett had their first baby. She was completely fed up with the nurse's constant need to take her vitals. A poor nurse walked in when Rosalie was about to lose it. A case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Rosalie almost ripped her head off for interrupting her again and made the lady cry. Rosalie scared me and I was a close friend; I couldn't imagine what her verbal attack did to stranger.

The memory did trigger a thought in my mind. I wondered if I could get Rosalie to come down here and scare off a few nurses so Charlie could get some sleep. I felt like an evil smile crept over my face as I watched the chubby redheaded nurse finish up her hourly check on my dad.

There was a quick rap at the door before it swung open. Dr. Black walked in with his contagious smile. He was really a very attractive man. Something about him made me want to walk over and lick his face. I tried to casually look at his left hand to see if there was a wedding band there, but it was blocked by the dang charts he was holding.

Walking over to the bedside he slung an arm over the nurse's shoulder and gave her a squeeze. "How's my favorite lady?" he said winking at her.

She giggled and accused him of saying that to all the women in the hospital.

Dr. Black's eyes diverted to Charlie. "How are you hanging in there, big guy?"

"Tired and these ladies keep coming in here and bugging me when I'm trying to sleep," Charlie said giving a teasing look to the nurse. If I didn't know Charlie so well I might have thought he was flirting but I knew Charlie and Charlie barely even acknowledges women let alone flirt with them.

"Awe, come on Charlie, you're doing great. If you keep up this progress, we might be able to get you out of here sooner than we thought." He patted Charlie on the shoulder, giving him an encouraging smile. I had never seen a doctor so at ease with his patients as Dr. Black was. I felt very grateful to have my father in his care. "Now I need to borrow your daughter for a minute, will you be all right?"

"Yes, take her and will you please send her home when you're done. She looks exhausted." Charlie looked over to me and gave me a stern look. "I'm the parent, not you."

"Fine Dad, I won't argue with you." That battle would take too much energy from him. "I'll be back in the morning." I leaned over and gave him a hug. "I'm not going to fight over this with you anymore, I want you home. Get some rest. I love you." I looked into his eyes to make sure he knew that was true.

"I love you too, Bells. Now get out of here." He sounded like he was going to get choked up. I knew Charlie didn't like to be emotional in front of people, so I hurried out the door.

As soon as we were in the hall I turned to the doctor "The nurse said his vitals seem to be improving and he seems a little stronger."

"Charlie is doing very well, but he isn't going to be completely well over night. You know that right?" He smiled at me, and it almost made my knees shake.

"I know it's going to take time, but it's comforting to know he's getting better."

I again became very aware of how bad I looked, and wondered if I smelled_. _When he was looking in another direction, I quickly did one of those sniff your armpits but try to look like your flipping your hair. Tomorrow I would make an effort to look good and hopefully he would see what I normally look like. I didn't know why these thoughts were crossing my mind. He was my father's doctor for crying out loud, I think it's illegal or something.Besides, the man is obviously out of my league.

We both smiled at each other as he held the elevator door open for me. It was silent as we walked onto the elevator but just a moment later he asked "So… you know Dr. Cullen?"

"Yes, we grew up together. Alice, his sister, is my best friend." I gave a slight shrug trying to make it seem of little consequence.

He was quiet another moment, and then asked "When are you planning to go back Los Angeles?"

"I'm not sure. I guess it will depend on how things go with Charlie. I'm a book editor, so I can do a lot of my work from here if I need to. How long do you think I should be –" I was interrupted by the elevator doors opening.

As we walked off of the elevator I was suddenly aware of how close I was to seeing Edward. Again, I was reminded of my appearance and wondered why I didn't take a shower last night. I shouldn't even care what this man thought of me, but I didn't want this to be another opportunity for him to one up me again and realize how much he is my superior. For a second I considered bolting and running in the opposite direction, but I didn't want Dr. Black thinking I was a crazy. My only solution was to pray that Edward was fat and bald.

As I looked up ahead of me, there standing in the middle of the hallway talking to another doctor, was my unanswered prayer. Of course he was not fat or bald, he was even more beautiful than I remembered. He looked exactly like he did growing up just more masculine. His jaw was stronger; with a little bit of stubble shadowing it, he was taller, and definitely had the body of a young athletic _man._ It was weird to see him in a dress shirt and tie— grown up clothes.

_Oh, look at how his shirt clings to his chest. Stop it! _

I had to force myself to look away, so he wouldn't catch me gawking at him and in turn increase his ego even further. I only looked up again when I heard his velvet voice saying my name, causing shivers to run up my arms. I wasn't sure if they were shivers of arousal or disgust but either way, I hated their presence.

"Bella," he sounded concerned and excited to see me. He quickly made his way toward me and took me in his arms giving me a solid hug. "I'm so sorry about Charlie. How are you doing? I went to see Charlie this morning but he was asleep, Alice has been taking good care of him, I promise."

I pulled away from him feeling awkward and confused. How could I have so many emotions running through me at once? I hate him. I want him to grab me and take me in the next room. I want to punch him. I want to smell him. And I want to belittle him in front of anyone who thinks anything of him. Why did he hug me and act like we were the oldest friends? I hate him. I think.

"I'm doing really well. Thank you," I answered curtly. My eyes betrayed me as I looked up into his perfect green eyes, a little too long. Unfortunately I was pretty confident he caught my stare. I felt all the embarrassment I felt on the trampoline 15 years ago filtering into my system. "We're so lucky to have Jacob, I mean Dr. Black taking such great care of him." I reached out and rested my hand on Dr. Black's shoulder for a moment.

I knew it was a childish reaction, but it made me feel better.

Dr. Black met my eyes and gave me a pleased smile; there was excitement behind his big brown eyes.

Edward stared at my hand, then at Dr. Black, and then at me with a look of confusion. "Well let's step into my office and decide what should be the next step with Charlie." He extended his arm ushering us into his office.

Dr. Black and I took the mahogany leather seats facing his desk, while Edward took a seat across from us.

I quickly stole a glance around his neat office. There was a large window behind him, a tall tree in the corner to the right of the window. The wall on the right held his diplomas, both from USC. On the wall were also some awards and plaques for humanitarian services. _Who knew he had it in him._ Under the plaques was a long leather couch. On the opposite wall was a large picture of the Olympic Mountains, peaking above the clouds. On his desk were some framed pictures but I couldn't see what they were of. _Probably his wife._

This thought made me glance over to his ring finger. Nothing. This didn't actually mean anything. A lot of doctors didn't wear their rings, especially surgeons.

Edward leaned forward in his chair resting his forearms on his desk, with his fingers clasped together, he looked me in the eyes and said, "Well Bella, while it's good to see you, the circumstances are unfortunate. Dr. Black and I have been going over the test results for Charlie, and going over the severity of his heart attack. As of right now I think it's necessary for Charlie to have a triple bypass surgery. I know that any surgery involving the heart is scary, but…"

Edward was speaking in a slow and gentle tone. His tone was throwing me off. I couldn't tell if he was talking to me this way because he thought he was having to explain everything so an idiot would understand, or if he was just genuinely concerned and this is how he would talk to someone he considered a friend. Either way, I kept staring at his lips. The way they moved when they touched. The way his lower lip would almost make it look like he was pouting when he paused. Ugh, I couldn't remember the last time I felt this pathetic.

As soon as Edward paused for a second, I turned in my seat facing Dr. Black and asked, "Jacob what are your thoughts? Do you agree that this surgery is necessary?"

Dr. Black smiled at me and then looked at Edward giving him a slightly smug look, then turned back to me. "I do agree with Dr. Cullen that most likely this is going to be necessary, however, I also think we need to wait and see what the rest of the test results say. Wait and see how Charlie does the next couple of days, and then make a final decision."

"Dr. Cullen…" I started.

"Bella, you know you can call me Edward." He almost looked and sounded hurt that I would call him Dr. Cullen.

"Oh, I'm sorry Edward. Do you think it's reasonable to see the rest of the results, and see how he does in the next couple of days?" I knew I sounded a little patronizing, but I didn't care.

"Of course, that would be fine. Has Dr. Black gone over everything as far as recovery and lifestyle for Charlie?"

"No, but we have got time until we talk about recovery. Plus, don't you think you should talk to Charlie about all of that." I was feeling uneasy thinking about the fact that my dad was going to be dependent on me.

"We have talked to Charlie about it. We just want you to be informed since you will be the primary care giver during his recovery. It is also a good idea for us to know what your feelings are, so that if anything should happen we have an idea of what your thoughts are on the situation." Dr. Black replied.

The last part of what he said made my stomach tie up in knots. "Thank you. I appreciate that. I'm going to go to Charlie's now and try and get things settled. I'll be back in the morning, and then we can talk about all of this." I stood from my chair and reached to shake the hands of the two incredibly good looking doctors in the room.

While shaking my hand Edward said, "Bella, make sure you get some rest too. You are useless to Charlie if you're a zombie."

Instead of yelling, "What? Are you my dad?" I just gave him a curt nod.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Bella, don't worry your father's in great hands here." Jacob flashed me his pearly whites, as I turned and walked out of the office. I didn't dare look back at Edward.

EPOV

"I'll see you tomorrow Bella, don't worry your father's in great hands here." Jacob smiled at Bella. Then Bella turned and walked out of my office.

We both stood there staring at the woman walking out of my office for a moment before Jacob turned to me, "Well that went well, what did you do to piss her off?"

"Nothing, I don't know what's going on." I shifted some paperwork around on my desk not looking up at him. I had never really cared for Jacob Black.

"See you later." Jacob turned and walked out of my office, leaving me with my thoughts.

Where did that go so terribly wrong? I can't figure out how that went from seeing an old friend again to feeling like I had two enemies.

Just forty five minutes ago I had been mid-sentence speaking to a colleague when my concentration was completely broken. I heard a voice I would know anywhere, my sisters best friend, Bella Swan. I'd heard that voice in my head almost constantly the last ten years. Challenging me, torturing me, and pushing me to be better. I hadn't seen her since high school but that didn't mean that she hadn't had a life-altering effect on me.

All through high school Bella and I were very competitive. She kept me on my toes. I was constantly trying to do better than her academically, athletically, and socially. I don't think I would have gotten into USC if I hadn't spent all of high school trying to keep up with her. While I was at USC, I worked hard knowing she was at UCLA and some day our paths could cross and I didn't want to be out done by her. I knew it was childish, but she was the voice inside my head. I was surprised we never met up all those years in LA. I thought maybe she had hated me starting at the end of high school. I was a hormone-filled teenage boy and she was my sister's best friend so I didn't give it much thought as to whether or not she actually did hat me. She was like a sister.

As I looked up responding to that familiar voice, there walking right toward me was Bella. She was in black exercise pants, a "Bite Me" t-shirt— that was completely Bella—, no makeup, and her hair pulled back. Bella never got caught up in her looks or impressing boys like all of the other girls did. You had to appreciate her self confidence. She looked exactly like I remembered her, but she also looked very different too, she looked beautiful. How did I not remember her being pretty? She had finally filled out in all the right places, she looked soft now, not bony, she had grown a few inches, her eyes were so deep and expressive she literally captured me in them, and her skin was like porcelain.

I pulled her into a hug hoping to make her feel a little better and partially because this was a reunion for us. I felt so comfortable around her. Her response to me, led me to think that she hated me. _Why?_

I was surprised that I felt annoyed by her interactions with Dr. Black. Why was she calling him by his first name, touching him, questioning my responses, and turning to him for the answers? Maybe what really bothered me was how he looked at her, his physical responses to her touch. _What was that? _I had known her for twenty five years, why didn't she feel comforted by me instead of a stranger. She should have called me by my first name, let me put an arm around her, and been asking me for reassurances not _him_.

I tried joking with her like we did in the old days, but she was having none of it. I was thrilled by her automatic retorts in response to me telling her what to do. I had to throw in that comment at her waiting for her smart remark. _"Bella make sure you get some rest too. You are useless to Charlie if you are a zombie." _Then when she just gave me that curt nod, I almost let out a laugh. I wanted to smile when I saw that she was the same old Bella.It almost made me giddy this game of banter she and I played.

I was positive that I would see her around with Alice sometime. Maybe when I'm not the doctor, things will be friendlier. Maybe it was just the stress of Charlie that upset her.

I was lost in my thoughts for a while when my cell phone started to vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and flipped it open_. _

_Tanya_.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight, it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Thanks to GinnyW for all of your help and putting up with me when I am driving you crazy.

**The Invite.**

As I drove away from the hospital I felt frustrated, confused, annoyed, but most of all disappointed in myself. The maturity level I'd just displayed in Dr. Edward Cullen's office was that of a temperamental child. It has been ten long years since I'd seen the man. A full decade, that should've been plenty of time for a mature adult to get over some childhood differences.

Apparently Edward had that maturity. When he saw me in the hospital he walked right over and hugged me, and from that point on had been nothing but kind and thoughtful to me. His countenance showed that he held no contempt toward me that this bitterness of mine was completely one sided. Except for that one comment telling me to go home and get some rest. Who was he to tell me what to do, he was not my father. Then he gave me that smug look when I responded so childishly. Still he seemed to possess none of the anger or annoyance I carried.

I'd been horribly rude and disrespectful toward him in his place of business. I had questioned his abilities as a doctor, undermined him in front of a colleague, snubbed his embrace, refused to look him in the eye, and I didn't even acknowledge him during my departure. Worst of all, I had flirted with my father's doctor just to irritate Edward. I acted selfishly and erratically, without taking Dr. Blacks feelings into consideration for a moment. I won't lie, I did enjoy flirting with Dr. Black and his obvious approval left butterflies in my stomach, but none the less flirting with him to spite Edward was wrong. I knew I'd own him an apology the next day.

Normally, I would consider myself a genuinely kind person. I've never tried to intentionally hurt someone— other than _him_. So then why did I consistently let Edward Cullen get the better of me? Why was I acting so out of character? Why was I still playing a high school game? Why couldn't I move on? These questions plagued my mind until I could take it no longer.

As I came to a stop sign, I whipped my cell phone from my purse and called Alice. As I waited for her to answer, I felt my stomach growl. Rubbing the palm of my hand against the flat of my stomach, I realized I hadn't eaten anything other than soda and peanuts in twenty four hours. I was unsure of what food if any awaited me at Charlie's house.

"Hi, Bella, do you need me at the hospital?"

"No, actually I just left there. I'm starving though, and was wondering if you'd eaten?"

"I have, but I'll come and sit with you and get some ice cream or something."

Of course my usual distaste for inconveniencing anybody, caused me to debate whether I wanted to make her leave her house just to come sit and watch me eat.

She resolved my issue. "Bella, I'm coming to see you, so you might as well tell me where, or I will just stop by every restaurant in town looking for you," she said in her most authoritative voice.

Not that that would take much time in a town the size of Forks, but I decided to submit to her request now, just to save on some time. "Alright, I'm too disgusting to sit down in an actual restaurant, so I'll meet you at 'One Stop Burger Shop.' Is that okay?"

I heard a sigh on the other line. "I don't know how you eat all that nasty greasy food, and keep the great body you do. I'll be there in ten minutes."

Shaking my head a small smile cracked across my face, I gave her a simple, "Thanks, Alice."

I was seated in a cozy red vinyl booth listening to the B-52s _'Love Shack'_ playing in the background. I mindlessly sat sliding around the salt and pepper shakers while I waited for Alice. My mind would not let go of the earlier meeting. I kept replaying it and picking apart all of the things I did wrong. What I would have given to go back and redo that whole situation.

I was still wallowing, when a very chipper Alice plopped down on the other side of the booth from me.

"So how's Charlie?" She asked, taking the shakers from my hand and putting them back at the end of the table.

"He's mostly sleeping, but they say he's doing really well and making good progress. Jacob…I mean Dr. Black and I went to…"

"Wait a minute Bella, since when do you call your father's doctor by his first name?" she asked raising her eyebrows as a wide grin spread across her face.

Unable to control the smile that took over my face, I turned ten shades of red. "Well, he asked me to, and he's someone I feel very comfortable with, like a friend."

"FRIEND?" she repeated, arching her perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me.

"Well, that and he's a delicious piece of eye candy." I couldn't keep the sly grin from creeping over my face. "You saw him didn't you?"

"Yeah, he's good looking. I just didn't think he was your type." She gave me a slight shrug of the shoulders. "But if he could get you back to Forks I'm all for it, yes, he is the most beautiful man alive."

Alice's statement was completely inaccurate. I knew who the most beautiful man alive was. My eyes dropped to the aluminum table top and my heart constricted. Why couldn't my reaction to Dr. Black be the same as my reaction to Edward's? Why in all of my life was Edward's face and voice the only one that ever made my heart skip a beat. Stupid man!

"Bella? What are you thinking?" Alice squinted her eyes in my direction, trying to penetrate my thoughts.

"Nothing, I just… Today I saw…"

Luckily, I was saved by the waitress, "Here's your mushroom burger and fries. Can I get you another Dr. Pepper?"

"Sure that would be great, thanks."

I quickly grabbed a couple of fries and shoved them into my mouth. I was so famished I didn't even care if I ate like a lady.

"Bella, who did you say you saw?" she asked with a devil look on her face. She knew. Alice always knew somehow.

Alice had always sworn that one day Edward and I would get married. She knew how much I detested Edward, and said I was just using it as a shield to protect myself from showing my true feelings. She was closer to the truth than she probably realized. Sometimes I swore she really was a psychic. About five years ago, she gave up the idea when she realized Edward and I had lived in the same city for years and neither of us bothered to ever connect with the other.

I could feel the excitement rolling off of her in waves. This was not going to be fun. While of course I couldn't deny that Edward was the most beautifully made creature to walk the face of the earth, he was still an egotistical jerk who thought he was perfect and any girl should be lucky to be on his arm.

"You never told me that Edward worked at the hospital, or that he was even back in Forks." I raised my eyebrows giving her a knowing look as I took a bite of my burger.

"Really, I guess it never came up. Besides you told me you didn't want me to talk to you about Edward." She reached over and took one of my French fries trying to seem like it had just slipped her mind.

_Dang little pixie, I love her to death._

"Anyway, Edward is going to be the surgeon who will perform Charlie's bypass surgery if he needs to have it done."

"Charlie has to have surgery?" She asked as her tiny body shifted into full attention.

"Most likely, they'll decide in the next couple of days."

"What does that mean long term?" she asked, her petite fingers stole another fry.

"It means I'm going to need to be here a lot longer than I planned."

"Well, can't you just work from here?"

I shrugged my shoulders "Yeah, I can work from anywhere for a while."

"Bella I don't know why you stay in LA. You have nothing tying you down there. Do you have any friends like me? Do you have a boyfriend? There is no family there. You could never afford a house there. Why haven't you just come back here?" She was kicking into persuasive Alice. This made me nervous because persuasive Alice always wins.

"I don't have anything here either." She looked crushed, and as the words left my mouth I knew they were wrong.

"Alice, I didn't mean it like that. You know I love you. You and Charlie would be the only reasons I would come here. But, you're getting married and you're busy with your career. Dad works constantly and likes his quiet life. L.A. has grown on me. I love the sun. Do you have any idea how nice it is to run the pathway down Venice beach in December? Do you know how huge my dating pool is in LA compared to Forks? There are no publishing companies here. I'd always feel like a tag-along here."

Looking up at Alice, I gave her my sad, "please forgive me eyes." She folded her arms across her chest and leaned back in her seat in defeat. Of course, it only lasted for about five seconds before she sat forward again, ready for debate.

"First, Charlie and I should be enough reason for you to come back. Second, the sun is over rated, it's just going to give you cancer, and plus Forks grew on you before; it could grow on you again. Third, there are plenty of single men here, you met two today and you've only been to the hospital."

It did not slip my attention that she said _two_ single men.

"Fourth, you just said that you can work from anywhere. You could get set up with a company in Seattle. That way when you do need to meet with clients, it is less than two hours away."

I jumped in the middle of her rant and interrupted, "That's with your driving, Alice. Most people take over three hours to do that drive."

"Whatever, Bella, you know I'm right. So give me the real reason." She rose that one eyebrow again, daring me not to agree with her.

I was immediately fascinated by my Dr. Pepper and refused to make eye contact with her. "I don't know. I know I'm not really happy in LA. I really have no life except work, but I never really wanted to come back here."

"I think you do know, and if you don't you should figure it out Bella because life is passing you by, and if you aren't happy, you need to figure out what makes you happy," her voice was suddenly softer, and full of love.

She reached over and laid her hand on mine, and as lovingly as she could asked, "When was the last time you were really happy?"

I felt tears the backs of my eyes begin to prick, but I couldn't cry again today. I didn't have it in me. I looked up at her. "I don't know," I whispered. This was not a conversation I wanted to be having. Not in that dingy burger joint. Not today, I already had all I could handle emotionally. I was spent. "Can we talk about something else, please?"

She gave my hand a squeeze, and said, "Well, Mom says you have to come over for Sunday dinner tomorrow. We have dinner as a family every Sunday and you have to come."

"No I'm not going to impose, tell her I'll come by another time," I said taking the last bites of my burger.

"You're family, just as much as Jasper is and he comes. You know we would all trade Emmett in for you any day. I'm not really asking. Dinner is at six."

I knew the conversation was over and I would be there Sunday.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to some awesome betas, ShabbyApple and GinnyW.

Disclaimer: I own none of these wonderful characters, they all belong to Stephenie.

**Looks Good**

I went home that night feeling completely drained physically, emotionally, and mentally. I didn't even have it in me to look around or clean up. I trudged up the squeaky wooden stairs to my old room. Of course nothing had changed. I quickly dug through my bag for my toiletry clutch, sweats, and my old high school track shirt and headed to the bathroom for a much needed shower. I turned the water on as hot as I could stand, letting my body fully relax for the first time since Dr Black had called me about Charlie. I felt my eyelids getting heavier and my body felt so exhausted. After who knows how long, I shut off the water, and quickly dried off. I brushed my teeth and hair. Threw on my sweats and t-shirt, and drug myself to my bedroom crawling in my little twin bed.

I lay awake for some time thinking over and over again about the question Alice had asked me that I just couldn't get off my mind. "Bella I don't know why you stay in LA. You have nothing to keep you there…" Why was I in LA.? Besides the sunshine there really wasn't a reason to stay. Who determines their location strictly based on the weather, well other than retirees? I didn't have an answer. I felt a whole other weight rest upon my shoulders as I pondered starting a new life… with my old life.

The old twin bed I had was so uncomfortable. I was tossing and turning in and out of sleep, keeping a constant eye on the clock. I hadn't been asleep long, when I was awoken by the sound of creaking across my bedroom floor. I was startled, hearing someone move across the floor in an empty house. I flew up into a sitting position so quickly I got dizzy from a head rush. My eyes took a minute to adjust, when I saw him standing in front of my window. Edward. He was so beautiful. His bronze hair was messy as always, like he had just gotten out of bed. His eyes were so emerald green, they were piercing right through mine. It made me feel like he was trying to tell me something. He was wearing a fitted gray t-shirt and dark jeans that accentuated his lean body. His lips turned into my favorite crooked smile, and after a few moments my eyes returned to his stare.

"You haven't been sleeping very well." It wasn't a question. His voice was so smooth that I instantly relaxed.

"What are you doing here?"

"You know I can't sleep without you." With those words my heart melted.

I scooted over to the side of the bed and folded my blankets back. He was sliding under the covers with me before I even saw him move. His arms slid around me and pulled me close to his body. I felt safe and happy.

"You're so cold." I said with a slight shiver.

"I'm sorry." He started to release his hold on me, but I pulled back to his chest.

"No, don't let me go." I hated that I sounded like I was begging.

I felt his lips press against my head. I turned up to look into his eyes, which literally took my breath away.

He put his gentle hand on my neck just below my ear. His thumb slowly and softly rubbed my cheek. "Bella, I am so in love with you," he annunciated each word, which penetrated even deeper into my soul.

My breath caught as he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mine. I tangled my fingers into his hair at the nape of his neck, and molded my body into his.

"Bella…"

_Ring, Ring, Ring_

I almost jumped at the piercing sound that ricocheted off the walls. My sleepy eyes blinked several times trying to wake up as my hands mindlessly searched to find my cell phone. _Was it already eight o'clock?_ I turned off my phone and fell back into my bed, slightly breathless from being awoken so abruptly.

_What was that?_ It has been years since I'd had that dream. Almost every night from age thirteen to twenty or so I had almost that exact dream every night. The same stupid dream, why? It tortured me as a teenager because I wanted Edward and completely loathed him all at the same time. Here it was torturing me again. It was weird though. This time he was an adult, Dr. Edward, not high school Edward. I was sure it was just because I ran into him yesterday. But why am I so affected by this man?

_Why didn't I dream of Dr. Black or should I say Dr. McDreamy_?

Reluctantly, I drug myself out of bed so I could get over to the hospital to see Charlie. I decided to spend a little more time getting ready today than I had yesterday. I would be going straight from the hospital to see the Cullen's in the afternoon. I was sure Sunday dinner at the Cullen's place was not a flip flop affair, at least it hadn't been in the past. Alice would be pleased, and maybe I'd run into Dr. Black or Edward and they could see that I can be somewhat attractive.

I'd decided on my low rise Citizen jeans, some Ugg boots (I didn't get to wear these much at home), and a fitted blue turtle neck sweater. _Blue was definitely a good color on me_. I put on a little bit of makeup and flat ironed my hair. After going to bed with wet hair and the fitful sleep, my hair had looked like a haystack.

Looking at myself in the mirror before heading out the door, I finally took notice of Charlie's house. The bathroom would definitely need to be scrubbed later.

I grabbed the sheets off my and Charlie's beds, and started them in the wash. Then I took a peek in the kitchen to see, what groceries I needed to stop and pick up. Unless I wanted to live off of fish fry and cereal I had plenty to get. I'd have to look up some heart healthy meals for my dad, later. Just from growing up with him, I knew his diet would need to change drastically or we'd be in the same boat we were in now. I sifted through his stack of mail, making a pile to take with me to the hospital, and picked up the house a little before finally heading out the door.

When I arrived in Charlie's room he was sitting up and talking to Dr Black. I felt a lump building in my throat just seeing him sitting up today. I pushed it way back down my throat and walked towards the two men.

"Well, well, well. Look at you sitting up, looking like a man trying to appear just fine." I gave him a big smile and got one in return.

"Hey kid, you're back again." It made me feel bad hearing the excitement in his voice. I realized how hard it must've been for him having my visits home so far and few in between.

"Of course," I said reaching over to give him a playful pat on his hand.

I looked across the bed to see Dr. Black definitely taking a shameless look up and down my body. I felt my face burn from embarrassment.

He saw me catch his gaze and quickly tried to redeem himself. "Hello, Bella, it's good to see you again. I was just going over Charlie's test results with him. While he is making great improvements, Dr. Cullen and I feel strongly after looking over the rest of the test results that it's necessary to go ahead with the surgery."

I raised my eyebrows while looking over at Charlie. "And what does Charlie say about that. I'm sure he is more than willing to do whatever is necessary to make himself as healthy as possible. He wants to be around to watch his daughter live a long and happy life. Right, Dad?"

He looked at me with the, "I'm the father and you are my child, and I am more stubborn than you are," look.

I reached up and placed my hand on his shoulder. "I am so glad you are going to cooperate and do what the doctors tell you is best for your health Dad." I added a challenging look to force my point across.

"Bella!"

"Dad, I can be more stubborn than you." I said crossing my arms across my chest.

"Bella." I could hear the defeat in his voice.

I looked over at Dr. Black who seemed amused by this father--daughter battle of the wills.

"Jacob…" I started.

Charlie quickly looked over at me with one eyebrow raised at me. Probably wondering why I called his doctor by his first name.

"Jacob, could you give us a minute."

Dr. Black was doing his best to keep from laughing at us. "Of course, I'll be back in a little while." He was still smirking as he disappeared from the room.

I could feel Charlie's eyes boring into me

"Dad, you need to do this surgery it will make you stronger and…"

"I didn't know you were on a first name basis with my doctor, Bella?" his tone was light and a smile danced across his lips.

"Because he asked me to; don't try and change the subject. This operation will make you stronger so you can live a longer fuller life." I sat down letting him know that this was not going to be a short conversation.

"Bella, this is major surgery. Do you know how hard and long of a recovery it will be? What about work?" I could hear fear and panic in his voice but of course he would never admit that.

"I've been thinking about moving back to Forks temporarily. I could take care of you after your surgery, and you know that Emmett is capable of running the police station without you. He's waiting for you to retire so he can take over anyway."

He stared down at his hands and it took him a couple of seconds to look up and respond. " I don't want you changing your life for me. You hated it here."

"I never hated it here." I knew my actions had contradicted my words.

"Then why have you stayed away so long…, with rarely a visit?" I could tell this had hurt him more than he'd ever let on.

"I'm not happy in LA either. I want to take care of you. I can try and work something out with my job, and I really miss you and Alice." I could tell by his continued silence that I was going to win this battle.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with that doctor, would it?" He was trying to distract me.

"Have I ever been the kind of girl to make any decisions based on a boy? I am not going to start now."

"Good." He hated talking to me about men. I can still remember how awful it was when he tried to give me a sex talk my junior year of high school.

The door opened slowly with a rap on the door.

"Charlie, how are you doing today?" I didn't have to look up to know that it was Edward.

"I'm fine, Edward, except that I can't get used to Bella's old boyfriend being one of my doctors."

Edward didn't look at me; but I saw that stupid, completely adorable crooked smile of his as it crept onto his face.

"Dad," I said with a groan. "Edward was never my boyfriend. We were all just friends, besides I think I actually loathed Edward when we were kids." I could feel myself getting redder as I stammered through each and every mortifying syllable.

"Sure you did, kid." I felt blood start to boil beneath the surface.

Edward interrupted with a chuckle. "Charlie, have you agreed to the surgery or do we need to discuss the reasons why this is important even further?"

Charlie looked over at me. I raised both my eyebrows and crossed my arms over my chest again trying to look authoritative, but letting a smile escape my lips.

Charlie slowly looked back over to Edward "When can we get this over with?"

Edward started to go over the time line, what it takes to be healthy enough for the surgery, what it entailed, and of course the risks. Half way through the conversation my Blackberry started beeping. I walked over to the corner where my purse was to turn it off. I plopped down into the chair in the corner, waiting for their conversation to end.

I could feel Edward as he kept looking over at me while he was talking to Charlie.

_What was I supposed to stand over there with them while they talk? I could still hear the conversation. Why does he need to have all eyes on him at all times?_

"I'll check in on you again in a day or two Charlie. You know how to get a hold of me if you need anything." Edward was wrapping up his conversation.

He shook Charlie's hand and turned around to leave. As he reached the door he paused turning slightly and looked me up and down, causing me to feel very self conscious.

"I assume I'll be seeing you tonight at my parents, Bella?"

"Oh, are you going to be there?" I was stammering. His question caught me a little off guard.

"I'm pretty sure I'm a part of the family, so… yes. I'll be there." He was wearing that smile I love to hate.

Then he turned and left without waiting for a reply.

Chapter Notes:

Review! Review! Review!

Next chapter is Sunday Dinner. I will update as soon as I get a good amount of reviews. I know I can be cruel, but it will be worth it.


	7. Chapter 7

That was an improvement on reviews, but I need some more love to keep updating. Review, Review, Review.

Here is the family dinner you all are waiting for. I hope I don't disappoint. Thank you to all of me readers. It makes me so excited to see who all is reading and what you think.

Disclaimer: Edward and everything else Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, even though I wish he was mine.

**Family Dinner**

_Knock, Knock, Knock._

I was digging in my purse in search of some chap stick when the door flew open. Before I could even look up I felt myself being squeezed so tight I couldn't breath and my feet were being lifted off of the ground. A small smile escaped my mouth.

"Emmett! I can't breathe." I was barely able to gasp out the words.

He quickly released me to the ground. I looked up to see his huge grinning face.

Emmett was Alice's older brother. He was huge. Not fat huge, but tall and muscular. He looked like a football player that could kill you, until he smiled and flashed you that baby face with the biggest dimples you've ever seen. He had dark curly hair and green eyes, just like Edward's. Emmett went into the police academy right out of high school. After graduating he started working for the Forks police department. He was now the lieutenant, and eagerly awaiting Charlie's retirement so he could take over as Chief of Police. Soon after he started working, he married Rosalie Hale. It was always inevitable that they would get married. Emmet and Rosalie have been together since they were twelve. They now have three little girls.

"Bella Swan! You sure have grown up since I saw you last. You don't look like a twelve year old boy anymore," he said, barely able to contain his laughter. He was already pulling his arm away awaiting my inevitable punch.

"Why are you noticing that Bella Swan no longer looks like a twelve year old boy, Em?" Rosalie had the most threatening voice of anyone I'd ever known.

I looked up and there she was in the door way. Rosalie was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in real life. She had perfect long blond hair. Her eyes were the color blue that other people have to purchase in the form of contacts to imitate. She was five foot nine inches; perfect model height. Her body was one I would trade my soul for. Legs up to her neck and curves that makes most men's eyes bug out of their heads. Her stomach was perfectly flat, and boobs totally perky even after three babies. More than looks though, Rosalie had more confidence than any woman I had ever known. Nobody intimidated her, and nobody told her what to do. She and Emmett were the perfect couple.

Emmett was squirming trying to tell her how I was like a little sister. _How did she do this to him still after all these years?_ He was still explaining when Rosalie looked over at me and gave me a quick smile and wink. Then quickly turned back to Emmett.

"I don't know Emmett maybe you should sleep on the couch dreaming about Bella's new body tonight." She could be vicious.

"Baby, you know you are the most beautiful woman and only one who rocks my whole world." How did she have him begging like this when it was an obvious joke?

I couldn't contain my laughter anymore and neither could Rosalie. We both burst into hysterics as I ran over and gave her a hug.

"Bella it's been way to long. I for sure thought you would have come back by now, especially when…" she was interrupted by the sound of tiny squeals

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" Out came running three little girls. The first one grabbing onto Rosalie's leg.

I pulled away from Rosalie as Emmett reached over and picked up the smallest one, and Rosalie knelt down to settle a disagreement with the other two. It was so weird seeing Rosalie and Emmett in the parental role.

They were the prettiest little girls I had ever seen. They all had blond curly hair. A perfect combination of Emmett and Rosalie. Two of the three had Emmett's dimples, but they all had Rosalie's blue eyes.

"Who's that?" I looked down and saw the cutest little girl pointing at me.

"Mia, don't point at people. It's rude. This is Bella. She is a good friend of mommy, daddy, Aunt Alice and Uncle Edward's." Rosalie looked up at me with a wicked grin as she said Edward's name.

_What was that about?_

"How do you do?" Mia did a little curtsey for me. That was the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

"Rose, why do you teach them these girlie things?! They are going to be athletes not debutantes." Emmett groaned

Rosalie rolled her eyes at Emmett.

"Bella, these are our girls. This is Mia. She is five. This is Emma, the oldest. She is seven. And Emmett has Isabel, our youngest. She is two." I could not believe the way Rosalie glowed talking about her family. I felt envious.

"How lovely to meet you girls," I gave a little curtsey back. "Emma I haven't seen you since you were a tiny baby, and I must say you three are the prettiest little girls I have ever seen."

"I could not agree more," came a velvety voice from behind me. I didn't even turn around.

Squeals erupted from the three girls. "Uncle Edward! Uncle Edward!" They pushed past me to get to their Uncle.

I used the commotion to quickly retreat into the house, and squeezed past Rosalie through the door way.

Rosalie looked between me and Edward and gave me a questioning look. I pretended not to notice.

The living room was empty; so I headed for the kitchen as soon as I heard voices coming from there.

The rest of the family was in the kitchen, or shall we call it every chef's dream. Esme looked like a 1950's magazine ad, with a little apron cinched around her tiny waist pulling some hot rolls out of the oven. Esme was a great cook; the scent of her bread hit me like a wall and left me salivating. Just seeing Esme reminded me how much she had filled the mother figure roll for me as a child. Carlisle was at the professional grade stainless stove grilling some steaks. He was listening to Alice talk about wedding plans. Carlisle was easy to talk to, and of course, he took care of all my injuries through my life. They were such great parents, and still totally in love with each other after thirty five years of being together. I felt my heart swell at the sight of the two. Alice was sitting at the granite island flipping through a binder while talking about her wedding. Jasper sat at the island typing away on his laptop trying to make sure he nodded at all the right times agreeing with Alice. He really was perfect for her.

"Some things just don't ever change do they?" I announced from the kitchen door way.

All four heads whipped around to see me. "Bella!" they all shouted in unison.

Esme and Carlisle came over and gave me a hug. They made me feel safe. They made me feel like I was home. Alice was heading over and stopped dead in her tracks.

Alice's face looked me up and down looking surprisingly pleased. "Bella, you look good. Don't you feel better than you did yesterday?"

"Alice!" Esme hissed at her.

"What? You should have seen her yesterday," Alice replied with her hands on her hips.

I quickly looked around the room. They were all dressed really nice, but then again, they always were.

"It's alright Alice, I was mostly thinking of you when I decided to put on makeup and do my hair," I said trying to appease my best friend.

"Bella you always look beautiful, don't let her tell you otherwise, " Esme said, tightening her arm around me, like a lion protecting her cub.

"Thank you Esme." I squeezed her back and headed over to the island where Jasper and Alice were seated.

"Hey maybe you could take me shopping this week so I can get some clothes you approve of, even though I won't need them sitting at home or in the hospital." I knew this would redeem me.

She let out a shriek and began bouncing around. "Yes! Bella, I knew I loved you! I know all the good shops in Port Angeles. We could also get pedicures, facials, and, ooh, maybe we could get you some highlights."

_What have I gotten myself into?_

"Alice, can you go and tell everyone dinner is ready and to come to the table," Esme asked while loading some food onto a platter.

"Okay, come on Jasper." Alice held her hand out to him.

"Demanding little thing, isn't she Jasper?" I gave Jasper a grin as he walked over and gave me a hug.

"Sorry about her, but you know that is why we all love her. It's good to see you again Bella." Jasper was being drug out of the room for his last comment about Alice.

Everyone was heading into the formal dining room and sitting down to the very long oak dining table. I leaned over to the little seven year old next to me. "Emma, is it alright if I sit next to you?"

She nodded and beamed up at me. I took that as a yes and sat next to her.

I was now sitting between Alice and Emma, when Edward came walking in and sat right across the table from me. _This is going to be pleasant._

"Edward, isn't Tanya coming to dinner tonight?" Esme asked looking at the empty spot at the table.

I felt my heart stutter and I did not know why.

"Um, she will be here a little later. She was showing some houses this evening." He answered without ever looking up at anyone.

Who was Tanya? I looked over at Alice but she would not look up at me. I looked over Emma's head to Rosalie and she would not look at me either.

"Who is Tanya?" I tried to sound as non-sealant as possible.

Edward snapped his head up and when I made eye contact with him he looked quickly away.

"She's my girlfriend." Edward said casually.

"She's Edward's fiancé." Esme chimed in at the same time Edward did.

"Mom, she is not my fiancé." I was surprised by how stern he spoke to Esme.

As if she did not even hear his tone, "She will be soon enough."

The rest of dinner was a lot of light conversation about people's week. The dinner was the best meal I had had in a very long time. I felt like I had never left this house or family.

The table had been cleared and the girls were playing in another room. The conversation had turned reminiscent of our childhood. It took a turn for the worse when everyone started remembering all of my injuries Carlisle had taken care of. We had gone through fifteen different stories at least, when my heart beat skidded to a stop at Carlisle's words.

"Bella do you remember when you got a tic on your face." He was laughing hysterically.

Everyone else joined him, except Edward. I could see him get tense out of the corner of my eye. He tried to laugh but it was unnatural.

"How did you even know it was there?" Alice asked between giggles.

"I told her it was there." Edward said jumping into the conversation with a smirk on his face.

I just glared at him, his smile quickly faded and he got the strangest look on his face. I could not place what it was.

I hate him. How can he think that was so funny? He probably loves remembering how I had tried to kiss him and he had rejected me.

I had to change the subject so they did not see how angry I was becoming.

"What's for dessert?" I leaned over asking Esme.

She immediately stood from her chair, "Cheesecake, I'll go get it now."

Rosalie stood, "I'll help you, Emmett can you go and get the girls?"

Looking for a quick escape I jumped up. "I'll go and get them."

I headed upstairs and down the hall, following the sound of little giggles.

Inside the room was a giant Barbie house. Something I am sure Esme had given her granddaughters. The girls had little princess lanterns all lit up while they played with their Barbie's.

I got down on my knees. "What a beautiful Barbie house you girls have."

"Thank you. Uncle Edward gave it to us." This caught me off guard "Do you want to play Barbie's with us?"

"I have never played Barbie's before." The only time I even touched a doll growing up is when Alice would make me hold her Barbie while she did its hair.

"Here we will teach you." Mia said handing me a doll. "You can have Princess Belle, since your name is Bella."

"Okay, thank you." I took the doll not really knowing what to do.

I quickly learned that playing dolls was just making a really high pitched voice and playing make believe.

There was a soft knock from the door way. "Girls, Grandma has cheesecake on the table," Edward announced in a persuasive voice.

They jumped up and ran for the dining room. I turned off their lanterns and stood to follow them. The room was dark now, as I turned to the hallway I could see Edward's silhouette still standing in the doorway.

I refused to look up at his face as I approached the door.

"Who knew you were so great at playing dolls, and how great you would be with my nieces?" He almost sounded impressed by me.

Still refusing to look up, I tried to pass him. "Okay."

As I started to head down the hallway, I felt his hand grab me by the arm and pull me around against the wall.

"What are you doing?" I spat at him. I could feel the anger spilling from me.

Before I could pull away his body pressed mine against the wall. His soft warm lips covered mine, gently but very firm, exactly like my dream.

EPOV

I hope mom is grilling tonight; I would love a good steak right now.

My stomach started to growl at the thought of my mom's cooking, as I pulled into my parent's long winding driveway.

There was a car there I did not recognize. Bella must be here already. Hopefully, she would be normal this time.

As I trudged up the path to the front door, there on the porch stood Emmett with Isabel in his arms, and a grin on his face. Rosalie was kneeling down in the doorway with an arm around Mia. Emma was standing in front of Bella with a big smile on her face. Bella was standing with her back to me.

_What was that? Did she just curtsey? _

I walked up to overhear Bella telling the girls how beautiful they are, when I added "I couldn't agree more." Their response brought a grin to my face.

My three favorite girls in the world all came running with squeals and their arms wide open. "Uncle Edward! Uncle Edward!"

I thought Rosalie and Emmet were crazy to get married so young, let alone start a family so young. My perspective of what is important quickly changed once those girls became part of my life also. When Emma was born I wanted to spoil her with everything, and make her smile as often as I could. I was smitten with her in five seconds. I did not realize I could love anyone besides my parents, Alice, and Emmett this much. I can not comprehend what it will be like when I have children of my own. I hate to admit it but being around these girls makes me long for a family of my own.

I squatted down so I was eye level with the girls. "Hey girls, I missed you. Have you been practicing baseball? You have to practice if you want to play on the Cullen baseball team." I asked while handing them each a piece of candy. I would not be Uncle Edward if I didn't always have candy for them.

Emma and Mia started nodding their heads. "Yup, we have been practicing with our pink bats, gloves, and balls." Emma looked so pleased with herself.

I was now carrying Isabel up the porch with Mia and Emma wrapped around each of my ankles_. _Carrying these three little girls reminded me that I needed to work out more. As I reached the top step I realized that only Emmett stood on the porch now.

"Are you kidding me Emmett pink gloves."

Emmett slumped his shoulders and shook his head. "Don't talk to me about it. That's all Rosalie. I swear, I think she's deliberately trying to irritate me. I need a son." He pouted.

"No you don't. You love having all your girls. Where did Bella and Rosalie go?" I did not even noticed them leave.

"They went inside."

"I think Bella hates me." I said handing Isabel back over to Emmett.

"Well, what do you know? There is a girl that hates Edward Cullen." He said with a smirk as we walked into the house.

"It's not funny. She has been a family friend as long as I can remember. What did I do to her?" I was starting to sound whinny now.

"Well she is a grown up now. Maybe she does not find your childhood banter fun anymore. Or maybe she just realized you are still the same arrogant boy you always were."

"Thanks Em, you are so…"

We were interrupted by Alice. "Everyone dinner is on the table. Oh, hey Edward when did you get here?"

"Just a minute ago, what did mom make?" as we walked towards the dining room.

"Steak, I think." Alice did not know how to cook, in fact, I have never seen her make more than a bowl of cereal. Poor Jasper.

_Yes! It is like mom had read my mind_.

I took the only empty seat across from Bella and started to cut into my steak.

"Edward isn't Tanya coming to dinner tonight," mom asked looking, at the empty spot next to me.

"Um, she will be here a little later. She was showing some houses this evening." I answered still cutting into my steak.

"Who is Tanya?" Bella asked not really interested.

Wow that was the first time she had initiated talking to me since she got back.

"She's my girlfriend."

"She's Edward's fiancée'." Mom and I answered at the same time.

"Mom she's not my fiancée'." I regret ever telling her I could picture myself having a future with Tanya.

"She will be soon enough." I glared at her across the table, and then continued at my dinner.

Bella did not look at me once through dinner. I did find it funny to watch her devour her food faster than any female I had ever seen. Bella was always a no nonsense girl.

Once dinner was over we started to remember Bella's infinite number of injuries.

"Bella do you remember when you got a tic on your face." Dad said laughing hysterically.

Everyone else joined him, except me as I tried to remember that story. Then I remembered that day on the trampoline.

"How did you even know it was there?" Alice asked between giggles.

"I told her it was there." I interrupted giving Bella a smirk.

She glared at me, and then it was like a light switched on in my head. That was it. That was the day Bella began to act distant to me. We were best of friends growing up, and from that day on we never talked, except to have that competitive banter. She quit smiling at me. Alice started going to her house instead of her practically living here. She did always hate me. How did I mistake the hate as playful banter?

I came out of my memories to realize Esme, Rosalie, and Bella were all gone from the table.

"Will someone go and get Bella and the girls?" Esme asked while bringing in the cheesecake.

"I will." I stood quickly from the table still a little confused and dazed in my thoughts.

I headed up the stairs and tried to remember what would have changed her that much, and then I remembered. She had tried to kiss me. I was looking at her tic and she leaned in and I pushed her away. And she tried to deny that she was going to kiss me.

_She felt rejected_.

Of course Bella's pride would want to make sure I knew she did not want me that way and it was all my imagination.

There is no way she has held onto that all these years_. Did she?_

As I approached the door to the girl's room, and yes, my mom had a room for the girls, I could hear the girls and Bella talking in high pitched voices. I wanted to laugh but stopped myself.

I leaned in the doorway and saw the girls and Bella down on the floor in front of the Barbie house I had bought them, playing dolls. I watched for a moment confused by what I felt watching Bella play with my nieces.

I knocked from the doorway. "Girls, Grandma has cheesecake on the table."

They jumped up and ran for the dining room, Isabel desperately trying to keep up with her older sisters. Bella turned off their lanterns and stood to follow them. The room was dark now.

Bella would not look at me as she walked towards me.

"Who knew you were so great at playing dolls, and how great you would be with my nieces?" I tried to sound friendly, but ended up sounding impressed.

Still refusing to look up and trying to pass me, she just gave me a quick, "Okay."

She tried to walk around me and a thought occurred to me. I reached up and grabbed her by the arm and pulled her around against the wall next to me.

"What are you doing?" I could feel the anger spilling from her, and her eyes looked confused and livid.

Before I could talk myself out of it I pressed her body into the wall with my own and bent my head down to kiss Bella.

Chapter Notes: What do you think? Why did he kiss her? What is she going to do?

Review. Show me some love peeps.


	8. Chapter 8

Notes: Thanks for the love last chapter. I am glad you all liked it. Since I got the reviews I wanted, I am updating sooner. New deal, the more updates I get the sooner I update every chapter. I need to feel the love peeps. Now let's find out what that kiss was about.

Special shout out to GinnyW and ShabbyApple for putting up with me. Thanks ladies.

Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight. Stephenie Meyer owns all.

**Emotional Roller Coaster**

It took my brain a good fifteen seconds before I realized what was happening. Edward was kissing me. The moment his lips crushed into mine I felt an electric current pass through my entire body. Before my brain could even begin to react I felt my head starting to spin, my knees went weak, and my heart was about to explode out of my chest. I'm sure Edward couldn't help but hear or feel my heart racing. Talk about embarrassing. His lips were so soft and warm and I felt so safe with his strong arms around me.

After my brain caught up to my body, I used my hands that were laying on Edwards chest to push him away as hard as I could, slamming him against the opposite wall.

"Who do you think you are?" I yelled at him. I was slightly out of breath from the electrifying kiss we had just shared. I quickly lowered my voice remembering the house full of people. "What the hell was that?"

Edward's eyes bore into me like he was searching for a different reaction from me. I couldn't read his expression it was not something I had ever seen on his face. "You rejected me. Can we be even now?" He asked just as breathless as I was.

"What are you talking about?" I was lost. _Maybe he's medicated?_

"Down stairs everyone was telling those stories from our childhood and they talked about the tick story. I remembered the tick I was looking at on your face, when you thought I was going to kiss you. Then it all clicked, that was the moment you started treating me like I was a vampire or something."

"What?" _How had he put that together?_

"For the last fifteen years I've never understood why you completely avoided me. Other than to gloat about how you did better than me on a test, in a meet, or just to make sure you put me in my place. I had just accepted that this was the kind of friendship we had. It wasn't hate… just competitive. Then you came back to Forks and you treated me like I was the last person you would ever want to be around. During dinner everything finally started to make sense to me. It all began when I pushed you away from me that day on the trampoline."

He was waiting for a response, and I had nothing to say.

"Bella, I rejected you fifteen years ago and you just rejected me. Can you call us even now, so we can be friends?" He almost sounded like he was begging me. I hadn't thought he noticed or cared.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I never treated you any different than anyone else," I retorted starting to feel vulnerable.

"If that's not it, then why? Why would you never speak to me in high school even though we had every class together? Why did you never acknowledge me even though you practically lived at my house? Why did you never see me all those years in LA? Why won't you look at me at the hospital or here at my parent's house?"

"Edward, I just…" Suddenly I felt very unsure of why I hated him all that time. I didn't understand what it was I was feeling. I was always in control and right then I felt completely out of control.

"Edward, Tanya is here," Esme yelled from downstairs.

Hearing Esme's voice right at that moment made me love her more than I ever thought was possible. She had just saved me from a conversation I didn't even want to think about, let alone have.

I looked over at Edward, only to see him pinching the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed and his head down. I couldn't decide if it was anger, confusion, or if he was upset, but I wasn't going to wait to find out.

I turned to walk away, hoping to escape without him noticing.

"Bella, wait. I want us to figure this out." He was frustrated.

"You need to go down to your fiancé," I spat at him with venom in my voice.

"She is not my fia—," I didn't even let him finish I quickly turned around and all but ran down the stairs.

Standing down at the bottom of the stairs was a beautiful woman. Not Rosalie beautiful, but very elegant looking. She was tall and lean, with long strawberry blonde hair, and piercing blue eyes. She was dressed in a black, high waist pencil skirt that went just past her knees, a white blouse, a large black belt, and heels I could never walk in.

Of course this was her. Edward only dated beautiful girls with a pea for a brain, and who would giggle at his every word. However, this woman was not only beautiful, but she looked intelligent, and classy.

By the time I got to the bottom of the stairs I could hear Edward coming down the stairs just behind me. I couldn't miss the look Tanya was giving me. That look you get when you are a little insecure and you see another woman you don't know coming out of a room alone with your man. She was wondering who I was and what I was doing upstairs alone with Edward.

I wondered for a minute if she might go into a verbal attack toward Edward and me, or if she was going to claw my eyes out.

Of course not, she was a classy woman. She just held out her hand. "Hello, I'm Tanya." Even her voice was perfect, like a melody.

"Hi, I'm Bella, a friend of Alice's." I released her hand and she gave me a small smile.

"Nice to meet you, Bella"

Then she looked over to Edward and smiled like the light of her life just walked in. She started to walk towards him with arms out-stretched, and I quickly retreated to the dining room.

Everyone was busy eating cheesecake. Alice looked up and stared at me.

_How did that little pixie always know when something was going on?_

I refused to look her in the eye.

"Um, I think I'm going to head out. I'm really tired." I announced standing in the door way fidgeting with my keys in my hand.

"But you didn't even get any dessert?" Esme protested in her most motherly voice.

"Um Bella, what's your sudden hurry to leave?" Alice asked raising one eyebrow at me.

I refused to respond to Alice right now especially since I could hear the happy couple coming up behind me.

"Esme, I'll just take my dessert to go. My stomach is kind of upset right now." I tried to look a little ill. I'm sure was not very convincing, I'm a horrible liar.

"I bet it is," Alice mumbled under her breath.

My head snapped up and I glared at her.

Edward passed me taking his seat at the table, while Tanya made her rounds kissing everyone hello.

I stole a glance at Edward and he was looking right at me.

My heart skipped a beat. Ugh why did I do that? I was sure that he wasn't about to let this go. I had to figure this out before we spoke again… _if_ we spoke again.

I quickly looked away before anyone else could notice. Just then Esme returned with my cheesecake all wrapped up.

"Thank you so much. It was so good to see all of you." I looked around at everyone refusing to look at Edward and Tanya.

"You're welcome here anytime. I hope we see you here every Sunday. It was wonderful having you here. I feel like one of my daughters has returned home," Esme said wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

Rosalie jumped in "The girls informed us you are a very good Belle Princess. They want to play with you again." The girls were bouncing in their seats.

"Of course, I would love to come and play with you other princesses," I told them in my best princess voice.

They let out a roar of cheers.

"It looks like you're their new favorite princess," Emmett laughed.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Good-night, everyone."

Stealing one final glance, I saw Tanya snuggled into Edward's side and his arm lay around the top of her shoulders. His eyes looked up and met mine.

I had to get out of there.

As I slid into the driver's seat, I let out a long breath. I grabbed the steering wheel and rested my head down on my hands. I was at a loss.

My thoughts were interrupted by my cell phone beeping. I reached over for my purse on the passenger seat of the car. I pulled out my cell phone and flipped it open.

The hospital had called and my heart skidded to a stop. Instead of calling, I just drove to the hospital since I was already in my car.

Ten minutes later I arrived and was running up the flight of stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. I went straight to Charlie's room.

I don't know what I'd expected to see, maybe ten doctors hunched over trying to revive my dad, an empty hospital bed, or a bunch of new machines attached to him. I was desperately trying to catch my breath, as these thoughts caused my heart to race.

Hastily I opened the door. It was dark, and quiet. I felt my heart start to slow, and the lump in my throat start to dissolve.

Charlie was fine. Everything seemed fine. I walked over to my dad's bed to see how he looked. He had a little more color and the rise and fall of his chest looked normal, not erratic. He looked like Charlie.

I didn't want to wake him, so I turned around and quietly left the room. I slowly pulled the door closed. I headed over to the nurse's station to find out who was calling me if Charlie was fine. I was feeling a little light headed from the bout of panic I had just experienced.

"Bella?" I heard a deep voice call my name.

I turned to look for the familiar voice and saw Jacob waving at me.

"Hi, Jacob. I was just in to see my dad, but he's asleep. Did you call me earlier? I had a call from the hospital on my cell phone and I thought something was wrong." I felt that panic feeling start to creep back in again.

"Yes, I called. I wanted to talk to you about something. I was speaking with one of my colleagues and we were discussing a procedure we could do on Charlie before the surgery, just to see if there is another option."

"What? I thought all the tests were done. I thought a decision was made to do the surgery." I felt confused.

I looked around the hall and walked over and sat down on a bench. Jacob followed and sat next to me.

"Bella, calm down. This is not a big deal. I just got off of the phone with Dr. Cullen. He agrees that if he performs a cardiac catheterization, he will have a much better idea of what is going on and what exactly is necessary." He was watching me to make sure I understood.

"What is a cardiac catheterization?"

"It's a simple out-patient surgery. They will insert a catheter into one of Charlie's arteries, they will then inject a dye into his arteries, while an x-ray takes pictures of all the arteries and heart as the dye spreads through his system. We will then be able to get a real clear look at any blockages that are going on around his heart."

I took a deep breath. "Will he be in any pain?"

"No, he will be uncomfortable but not in any pain. He may have some bruising but that is about it. We will have the results within a couple of hours. Then we will go from there, and decide on surgery," he sounded relaxed and confident. This reassured me.

It was always like that with Jacob. I didn't even know him very well, but somehow I always felt calm with him. Maybe it was his confidence or just the fact that he had really good bedside manner. Whatever it was I felt really good around him.

"Why aren't we doing it tomorrow?" I felt tired all of the sudden. I had been emotionally drained today in every way possible.

"I won't be at the hospital in the morning, I have appointments with patients in my office and Dr. Cullen is in surgery all day tomorrow starting at noon. We will do it first thing Tuesday morning."

"Okay." I rubbed my eyes and temples, and let out a slow breath. "Thanks for letting me know. I am going to head home. It looked like Charlie was asleep for the night." I stood up, and slung my purse over my shoulder.

I reached over and shook Jacob's hand and walked to the elevator. I pushed the button several times

"Bella?"

I turned around to see Jacob standing a couple feet away from me. He was looking at his feet and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Jacob? Is everything okay?" He looked nervous or upset.

He snapped his head up at me. "What? Yeah, I'm fine." His perfect smile finally came across his face.

He was still standing there smiling at me when the elevator dinged open. I started to turn to get on the elevator.

"Wait." I backed off the elevator and turned to look at him a little confused. "I wanted to talk to you about something if you have a minute."

"Oh, okay." I was really confused and felt a little awkward.

"This is so weird. I have never done this before… I don't know why I am so nervous. I'm never nervous… I know I'm your father's doctor, but I was wondering if maybe if you… I mean… if I could take you out." I thought I saw a drop of sweat fall from his forehead.

"I don't know Jacob… is that very ethical?" I said, raising an eyebrow and crossing my arms over my chest.

He looked down and started to stammer. "Well I'm not…"

"Jacob, I'm kidding. That would be great." I felt a little nervous. I didn't have very much experience dating.

"I promise to keep everything professional here at the hospital. This will not interfere with my job as your father's doctor. We won't talk about medical issues on our date, and we won't talk about personal stuff here at the hospital." His nervousness reassured me that this was not something he often did.

"Sure, when were you thinking?" I switched my purse to my other shoulder.

"I'm off tomorrow night. I know it's soon, but I won't have another night off for a week." He was starting to be more-sure of himself now. I liked that.

"Wow, that's soon. I am a little nervous about what's going on with Charlie, I don't know if I should be going out the night before Charlie's having this cardiac catheterization done. He might need me here."

"Bella the procedure is really not that big of a deal. But I understand if you aren't comfortable. We can go some other time." He gave me a wide smile.

There it was again, the way he just makes me feel so calm. "Thanks for being understanding. How about this, I will come and spend some time with Charlie tomorrow, and if everything seems fine we could hang out."

"That sounds like a plan." I could tell he was excited.

"Let me get your phone number and I'll call you tomorrow after I see Charlie and I'll let you know. It will be later in the day so if you want to make other plans that's fine." I was digging through my purse for a pen when Jacob handed me a card with his numbers on it. "Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow either way."

"I'll wait for your call." He spun on his heel and walked away.

I began to think that there could be another reason to stick around. Unless of course Edward didn't make me want to run away ripping out my own hair.

Chapter Notes: Show me some love ladies. Review, Review, Review!!!


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks for all of your reviews. They make me so happy, after I read them I always want to open my files and start writing more immediately.

I want to give a special shout out to barbarito for being such a loyal reviewer; you make me all warm and fuzzy inside. You even recommended my story to your friend, you are awesome.

Thanks you GinnyW, you are teaching me so much. Thank you for all of your patience. Thanks to ShabbyApple for putting up with all of my grammar and getting my story up so fast. You both rock!

Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight; unfortunately Stephenie Meyer owns my secret love Edward.

**Morning Run**

I lay awake for hours that night after my visit to the hospital. My mind kept replaying the conversation Jacob and I had about the procedure that would now be done on Charlie. I was praying that they would do the cardiac catheterization and find that everything was fine. I was hoping it would be painless for him. I was hoping that this nightmare would end. I wanted to walk down the stairs and find Charlie sitting on the couch snoring with the baseball game on the television.

Then I thought about the conversation I'd had with Jacob when he'd asked me out. I'd felt so flattered that a good looking doctor like Jacob would want to go out with me. I really felt comfortable with Jacob. He was funny, compassionate, smart, a nice piece of eye candy, and he related to Charlie so well. Nobody related well to Charlie, but he did. I couldn't ignore the small part of me that felt selfish and guilty for going on a date while my dad lay in a hospital. I knew Charlie wouldn't care, and I couldn't just spend twenty-four hours sitting at his bedside and staring at him. He would kick me out himself.

The worst thing was I couldn't stop myself from thinking about that kiss. I couldn't deny the feelings that it had stirred in me. I just couldn't decide if that new fire was a whole new flame of anger or maybe it was fire from the most passionate kiss I had ever had.

I couldn't handle thinking about it anymore, I needed sleep. Throwing back the blankets, I got out of bed and went in search of some kind of sleep aid. Unisom, that would do the trick, I decided, as I tried to get the tiny pill out of the foil packet.

With a grin across my face, I snuggled back into my tiny bed. I was ready for a much needed sleep. The second I closed my eyes, my brain instantly started turning, and I knew that I'd never be able to sleep despite the medication I'd just taken. Reaching over into my night stand, I pulled out my tattered copy of "Wuthering Heights," in an effort to keep my mind focused so I could get to sleep.

The book was able to keep mind off of the kiss, long enough for me to fall asleep before I even finished the second page.

_He put his gentle hand on my neck just below my ear. His thumb slowly and softly rubbed my cheek. "Bella, I am so in love with you." He said annunciating each word, penetrating them even deeper into my soul._

_Breath was something I could not fathom, as he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mine. I slid my hands into his hair at the nape of his neck and molded myself closer to him._

"_I want you, Edward."_

My body sprang into an upright position in my bed. I was breathless and I had so many emotions and feelings running through me I could not name them all. I did know that there were many I didn't want to feel. _Damn that Edward Cullen._

I hated my dreams for betraying me like that again. Why does he have to ruin everything? He even ruins my sleep. I should have punched him in the face last night when I had the chance. Just thinking about the idea brought a smile to my face.

My eyes darted over to the clock it was 5:45am. I groaned and threw my head back further into my pillow. I couldn't believe I had even robbed me of my precious sleep, all because of that stupid reoccurring dream. I pulled my covers up higher over my shoulders and tried to sleep my final precious fifteen minutes. It felt like only one minute had passed when the clock started beeping. I had set my alarm for six, so I could go running. I turned off my alarm and pushed back the covers. After putting on my pink tank top, black running shorts and my tennis shoes, I headed into the bathroom. It took me all of ten minutes to get ready before I was heading downstairs to try and find something to eat, this was all part of my pre-running routine.

Of course, there wasn't any fruit in this house. Hopefully now that I was around, I would be able to get Charlie on a healthier path. No more steak and berry cobbler every night for Charlie.

While I tried to scrounge up some breakfast I was realizing I was out of luck. I just grabbed a handful of cheerios, and ate it all in one handful. I wondered how long those had been in the cupboard. They were completely stale. Grabbing a bottle of water, I drank half of it in one gulp.

I stretched on the living room floor, feeling my muscles start to relax. I needed to find out if there were any yoga classes available around here. I headed outside. It was a little damp outside, but thankfully not raining. It was kind of chilly but I would rather be cold now than have to carry a sweatshirt the second half of my run. I took off down the street at a jogging pace.

Running is like my prayer and the pavement is my church. The grin instantly spread across my face. I had always been such a clumsy girl that could barely walk two steps without falling, but for some reason when I ran, I felt graceful. I never fell; I was fast and I could run forever. _I guess I am a little Forrest Gump that way._ Inwardly, I smirked at the thought.

This time meant so much to me because when I started running, my mind started to unscramble all my confusing thoughts. Everything would become clear and uncomplicated.

Of course, my mind went straight to the question I had been struggling with since my encounter with Edward. He had almost pleaded with me, "Why do you hate me so much?" Had he ever treated me badly? No. Had he ever humiliated me? Once, fifteen years ago. Was he a bad person? No. Was it really just my pride that had gotten the better of me fifteen years ago and I was too stubborn to let it go? Yes!

Why had I gotten so mad that he pushed me away all those years ago? He never made fun of me about it. He never told anyone. He never treated me any different. Why was I still so mad about it?

Those questions ran through my head the majority of my run until I felt like I had slammed into a brick wall, and I suddenly stopped.

He had been right, I'd felt rejected by him because I had wanted him to _want_ to kiss me. Then when he rejected me, I put on my armor so he couldn't hurt me again. I'd spent the remaining years convincing him and myself that I'd never wanted to kiss him, that I hated him. I had truly let myself believe I hated him. Every time he had a stupid girlfriend, every time he did better than me on a test, every time he broke one more track record than me, and every time he gave me his smirk… it had all just fueled that anger I'd been blazing. Trying to burn all the feelings I really felt for Edward out of my system.

I'd punished Edward Cullen for fifteen years for rejecting me, and he hadn't even known why. I'de been a horrible person.

In that instant three things became very clear to me. One, I had no valid reason for hating Edward Cullen the way I had. Two, I had wasted fifteen years of my life being angry and bitter. Three, a small part of me had always been in love with Edward Cullen.

It was so strange, the second I acknowledged what my feelings really were I felt like a lot of the anger just melted away. I felt like a hundred pounds had been lifted off of my shoulders, and a lock had been taken off of my heart. Of course, that part of my heart would still not be exposed to anyone. I needed to continue to keep that wall up to protect myself.

Tears welled up in my eyes, and a smile spread across my face at the same time. This was what complete honesty with oneself felt like. Running is better than therapy; I had just diagnosed my own problem.

My running sped up into a dead sprint for my house.

I had the urge to find Edward and apologize. Things wouldn't be fine with us. I was sure that he would; still drive me nuts with his arrogance. And there was no way I would ever tell him that a tiny part of me was in love with him. He was practically engaged, but I needed to apologize for how horribly I had treated him. I wanted us to try to be friends again, especially if I was planning on staying here in Forks.

I slowed down as I headed up the driveway. Stopping at the bottom of the steps I began stretching when I noticed something move at the top of the porch.

EPOV

I pushed the doorbell several times. No answer_. _I knew she was there. Her car and Charlie's cruiser were both in the driveway. She was probably hiding out upstairs.

I sat down on the steps carefully setting aside the two hot chocolates and bagels in my hands.

She should have known that I was just as stubborn as she was. I would just sit on the porch until she came out. She would have to leave the house sometime, and I didn't have any appointments until noon.

I stuck my hands in my pockets and leaned back against the rail. It was still cold this early in the morning; I should have brought a jacket. The concrete was freezing against my backside, and where the railing had touched my neck and head, the cold made me jump. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts trail back to last night.

When I kissed Bella last night, I felt something I had never felt kissing a woman, and I've kissed a lot of women. It was almost like an electric current charged through my body. Her lips were soft, and warm. She molded into my body and it was as if she were made to fit there. There was something there in that kiss that I couldn't put a name on. It was one of the most passionate kisses I have ever felt, even though it was only a couple of seconds. Immediately after the passion I felt hate. I hated myself thinking I could be a man that would feel those emotions kissing a woman, other than my girlfriend. For the life of me I could not figure out the fear I felt. Why had I felt that scared feeling in the pit of my stomach as she pushed me away. I didn't have a chance to understand those feelings by the time she slammed me into the wall. The irrational part of me wanted to push her back against that wall and feel that again. I would never let myself lose control that way again. She had bolted down the stairs as soon as Esme called us down.

I felt so dumb begging her to be my friend. But it was like my mouth ran away without my brain physically and verbally.

Luckily, when I'd gone back downstairs Tanya hadn't given me the third degree about why I was upstairs with another woman. She knew I loved her. It wasn't a kiss of passion. _Was it?_

After leaving my parents house I knew I would have to tell Tanya about the kiss. I explained everything to her. I told her about Bella and I growing up together, I told her how she had treated me in the hospital, and I told her about the tick story. I tried to explain to her that I wasn't thinking rationally. My brain had been racing to find a way to fix the problem. The thought occurred to me one second and I had acted on it in the next.

She had been so silent for a while. Then she'd yelled at me for what felt like an eternity. I never interrupted her; she had every right to be angry.

She looked me straight in the eye. "Do you have feelings for her?"

"No." That had been honest. I had never felt anything for Bella, but friendship.

"Did you feel anything when you kissed her?" She'd asked staring at the ground.

I had lied for the first time ever to Tanya, when I told her, no.

We'd talked for a long time, then she'd told me she trusted me and she knew I would never intentionally hurt her. Tanya had thanked me for telling her the truth, and not to ever let it happen again.

One of the things I loved about Tanya was her lack of dramatics, and her self-confidence.

That night in bed I hadn't been able to sleep feeling as if I was being eaten away by the fact that Bella wouldn't tell me why she hated me. I'd resolved to myself I would fix our situation no matter what.

The sound of footsteps brought me from my thoughts, and I snapped my eyes open. There was Bella running up the street. She stopped right at the bottom of the porch steps. She hadn't noticed me sitting here. She was starting to stretch. I sat up a little straighter, finally getting her attention.

Bella jumped a little looking in my direction. She looked at me a little stunned, but something had changed in her eyes. She didn't look so cold.

"What are you doing here?" She stood up and took a step towards me. Yup, she was still angry.

I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees, lacing my fingers together. "Uh, I brought breakfast," I stammered pointing to the hot chocolate's that were now cold and bagels.

"How long have you been here?"

"'Bout a half hour. I was camping out here. I thought maybe you were just hiding out in the house."

"No, I'm not that big of a coward. I would've just slammed the door in your face." She gave me a playful smile, and I felt some hope creep into my chest. "I was out for my morning run. I haven't been able to run since I've been here."

"You still run every day? Trying to improve your speed so you can keep up with me?" I smirked at her playfully, but I wondered if it was too soon for me to try and start up the banter again. I held my breath waiting for her reaction.

"I run every morning at six bright and early. I'm pretty confident you wouldn't be able to keep up anymore." She started climbing up the steps.

I felt myself let out my breath. I was grateful the playfulness was still there. I stood, and picked up the food. "Do you want some bagels and cold, hot chocolate?"

It was quiet for a few seconds as she unlocked the door. Then without looking at me she responded, "Sure, come on in."

I followed her to the kitchen. As I looked around I saw that nothing had changed in the house. That old recliner still sat facing right at the television. The same brown carpet covered the floor and, the ancient looking curtains still opened on the sliding glass door. I walked through the kitchen door and saw the same old wooden table, with three different kinds of chairs there. The cabinets were painted white now instead of yellow, but the same blue curtains hung in the window.

I set the bagels on the old wood table and put the hot chocolates in the microwave. Bella sat at the table with a bottle of water.

I turned around and leaned against the counter, looking at Bella. She looked up at me. "Charlie's not one for change, huh? The house still looks just like it did when we were kids."

She looked around, but didn't say anything.

"Bella I want to…"

"Edward I need to …"

We both spoke at the same time. I was actually nervous. "Go ahead, Bella." I nodded towards her.

"I need to apologize to you." _What_? My jaw almost hit the ground. She was staring down at the bagel she was pulverizing in her hand.

"What brought on this change of heart? Was it the kiss?" I laughed when she reached over and punched me.

"See, this is the problem. I am trying to be civil and apologize for being horrible to you the majority of our lives, and you just talk out of your butt." She was clenching and unclenching her fists.

"You're right. It's too easy for me to fall back into our old behavior when I'm around you. I do need to apologize. I'm sorry, Bella. I don't know what I was thinking kissing you like that last night."

The microwave beeped I turned and grabbed the drinks, walked over to the table, and sat in the chair next to her.

"You're an intelligent man, Edward, but that kiss thing last night was the most irrational, most thoughtless and unnecessary thing you could've ever done. I should have clubbed you over the head for it." She was so angry with me, and I knew I deserved it.

I took a long sip of my hot chocolate. "I would like to say it was a well thought out plan, but it wasn't. It was just frustrating that you wouldn't talk to me or look at me, and when I had made that connection, I just reacted and thought if you felt like you weren't the only one rejected it would fix it," I spoke so fast, I wasn't even sure if she caught all of it.

"I came home last night and kept thinking about what you said to me about hating you. Then all during my run this morning, and I finally realized you were right. I have treated you horribly for the last fifteen years, and you figured out in ten minutes, what I couldn't figure out in fifteen years. Instead of just dealing with the rejection from you and getting over it, I let myself just hate you. I'm so sorry. I won't say that you never deserved how I treated you, because most of the time you did. However, we are adults now and I can let go of a lot of it." She was starting to smile, and finally looked at my face. "Although I am grateful for all the competitive banter between us. I don't know if I would have gotten into UCLA if you hadn't pushed me so hard."

"If it makes you feel any better, in high school I mostly thought it was a game between us and not that you actually hated me. I only figured out that you hated me in the last couple of days." I reached for a bagel. "I guess I'm not as smart as I thought, or else I would've figured it out when you never bothered to see me all those years in LA."

"Edward… did you tell your girlfriend you kissed me?" This took me completely off guard.

"Yes." I just stared down at my bagel.

"And?" I knew she wouldn't leave it at that.

I wiped off my hands and looked her in the eye. "She's not thrilled. Like you, she wishes I had thought more rationally. She knows that I love her and that I made a huge mistake." A strange emotion crossed Bella's face, but before I could place it she took another sip.

"Look, I will be willing to forget that whole situation last night, if you will forget how I treated you growing up and these last couple of days."

I was floored by her maturity with all of this. I was prepared to be slapped at least once. "Deal." She started to stand up, but I wasn't ready for the conversation to end.

"So you're an editor now? How did that come about?"

She looked a little annoyed, but slowly sat back down in her chair. "You think just because I don't hate you that now we are going to be friends?" She raised her eyebrows at me and I just nodded. She sat for a minute, and I could tell she was trying to figure out how to have a civil conversation with me.

"Well, I had planned on teaching English so I got my degree in Education. I taught one semester of high school, and realized I didn't want to deal with teenagers all day, so I went back for a master's. I did an internship with a small publishing company in LA. Then I went out on a limb and applied with Random House before graduating and they gave me a job. I've been working with them now for three years."

"Wow, that's remarkable. You work for one of the biggest publishing companies there is. I'm impressed. Is it hurting your work being here?"

She was still obviously struggling. It was like she didn't know how to talk to me if we weren't fighting. She bit her lower lip, which somehow looked really sexy. I saw that pucker between her eyebrows she always got when she was concentrating. "No, not really. I can do my work from anywhere." She hesitated taking another drink, before staring back down at the table again. "It may be a problem when I call them and tell them I'm moving here though." She sounded worried and nervous, but I was not sure if it was about her job though.

"You're moving here?" I was surprised by the excitement that ran through me with this revelation.

"Umm, yeah I think Charlie will need me for a while." She still wouldn't look up at me.

"Bella, what about your life in LA, are you just going to give that all up?" Her eyes looked pained, and her shoulders slumped down a little. I could see that what I said had hurt her, for some reason.

"Well, to be completely honest, I didn't have much of a life in LA, besides my job. It takes a lot of focus to be as successful as I am in my career. Besides, I'm done with the whole LA scene."

"Don't you have a boyfriend?"

"I don't see how that would be any of your business," she lashed at me. This made me smile.

"Hey, I thought we were going to be friends now."

"Sorry, I'm going to have to get used to this… friendship thing. No, I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have time."

"I know what you mean. Tanya is the first relationship I've had since high school. I didn't date or make any friends at all during USC or medical school. You can't if you want to be successful there. The only reason I have Tanya is because she was my realtor when I moved here last year. We all know the singles scene in Forks is scarce." I smiled at her, and saw her start to smile back.

"How long have you and Tanya been together?" I could tell this was hard for her to have a polite and personal conversation with me.

"About a year, we started dating right when I moved here."

"And… you're going to marry her." It wasn't a question, but I felt like she wanted an answer.

"I think so, she makes me happy. We are compatible. That seems like the next step."

Bella burst into laughter. "Edward you just sounded like you went down a checklist confirming if all of the requirements were there to move to the next level." She was still laughing

I felt a defensive, I was angry she was mocking my feelings. "What's wrong with that? Shouldn't you make sure everything's right?" I sat straight up taking a defensive posture.

"Don't get all defensive. I thought we were being friends now? It's just that I thought when you decide to marry someone you would know without a doubt. That the love between you two is so all consuming that logic fails to exist. That your world would revolve around that person..."

Her voice started to become babble to me. This girl had watched way too many chick flicks. I think she noticed the glazed over look on my face. "I'm sorry, am I boring you?" She snapped at me. Her challenging eyes were something I could recognize anywhere.

"You are such a woman. Things like that only exist in those novels you read. It's not real." I leaned all the way back in my chair lacing my fingers behind my neck.

"See! You're such a jerk. We were having a perfectly civil conversation, and then you have to go and call me a woman and try to make my thoughts invalid." She was clenching her hands into fists, and I thought steam might come out of her ears.

Over the years this had become my favorite side of her. She refused to back down no matter who she was dealing with. Especially if she felt someone was putting her down.

As I looked into her eyes I felt trapped, like I couldn't look away from her gaze if I wanted to. I felt some kind of tension building.

This was suddenly awkward.

The phone rang and she got up to answer it. I felt myself relax a little, now that the conversation had ended.

As I looked around the room I caught sight of the clock and realized that it was already ten. I needed to get going. I had to be at the hospital at noon.

I started to clean up breakfast and heard Bella hang up the phone.

"Don't worry about it, I've got it." She started wiping all of the crumbs from her bagel into a napkin.

"Alright, I need to get going I have to be at the hospital in a little while. Thank you for talking to me I'm glad we could work this out and try to be friends now." I squeezed her shoulder. I quickly pulled my hand away from her.

_Why is it that every time I touch Bella, I have a physical reaction?_

"Me too." She turned and led me to the door.

Story Notes:

I hope you enjoyed your time with Edward. Next chapter you will get to enjoy Jacob. Send me some love and I will send you some back. Review, pretty please.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Author's Notes: **Thank you, for all of the reviews last chapter. It makes me so happy to know you're so happy.

Thank you to ShabbyApple and GinnyW for all of your insight and knowledge. I'm lucky to have you. Thanks to all of my new readers. I get giddy when a new person tells me they found and liked my story, and of course I love all you loyalists.

Here is date night. I hope you all enjoy. Jacob haters, don't hate me.

**Making Plans**

After talking with Edward and sorting out my feelings, I was beginning to feel better about returning to Forks.

Once Edward left, I'd decided I needed to work on cleaning the house. If I was going to be living here I needed to make the house livable. I love Charlie, but he was a lousy housekeeper. This was one of the reasons I'd been reluctant to leave him for school, that, and I'd been worried he would starve while I was gone. That concern was evident in the fridge and cabinets. I had a lot of work ahead of me. I wanted this house spotless, and stocked with food by the time Charlie came home.

Digging through my bag I found my iPod, I needed some of my jams to motivate me through this mess. I had decided to start with the bathroom; it was the room that grossed me out completely. I grabbed all of the cleaning supplies and headed for the germ fest. How had Charlie used this bathroom in this condition.

I stuck the ear buds in my ears and clicked the shuffle setting.

A smile quickly spread across my face as I heard Billy Corgan's voice flow into my ears. "_Today is the greatest day I've ever known…_" There could not be a more appropriate song to listen to today. It was going to be a good day I felt it.

With a huge smile still on my face, music in my ears, and happiness in my soul I had attacked the room. I had spent a good thirty minutes just cleaning the shower, and another thirty minutes using a toothbrush on the linoleum. After I had worked an hour and a half, I stood in the door way admiring my work. The mirror actually showed a reflection, the sink was sparkling, the grout in the shower was white, and the toilet had no ring.

After that battle, I had felt absolutely filthy and needed shower. I had been more than willing to get in now that it was actually clean.

The time was lost while I stood there letting the hot water run down my body, thinking about how well things were starting to go. I started washing my hair and I'd realized I had cramps in my cheeks from smiling all morning. I knew why I was smiling non-stop. It felt so good knowing I no longer carried a chip on my shoulder, knowing Charlie was hopefully going to get better, knowing I had friends nearby, and I maybe even had a date with Jacob.

Thinking of all that had to be done, I realized I needed to hurry. I jumped out of the shower and hurried to my room. I grabbed the first pair of jeans I saw, and a long sleeved blue fitted T. I ran my fingers through my hair and realized I should hurry and dry it before it turned into a frizzy mess. I went to the bathroom and flung my hair upside down and dried and brushed through the mess. I was drying as fast as I could in hopes of not having to do anything else with it. The end result was fine. It hung straight and there wasn't much volume, but it would be good enough. It was probably just going to end up in a pony tail anyways.

The next thing to do was to write a shopping list. I needed to see Charlie first, so I would go to the store after the hospital. I rummaged through the cabinets and fridge, throwing out everything that was moldy, expired, or just disgusting. I was basically starting with nothing but fish fry, and fish. That would normally be overwhelming for someone but I had always enjoyed cooking and planning out a menu. After completing a menu and shopping list, I sat down and ate another bagel Edward had brought over. While reading the paper, I realized that it was kind of nice to read a newspaper that had articles that were not all murder, gangs, rape, or drugs.

Once I had finished my poor excuse of a lunch, I put my glass in the sink and realized this kitchen needed a lot of work too. Walking into the living room reminded me that my domestic chores weren't over just because the bathroom was clean.

I drove straight to the hospital to see Charlie. He was asleep when I arrived. I drug a chair to the window and cracked the curtains open a little, I sat down and began to read a magazine I had left the last time I'd visited. I was so bored, I could've easily fallen asleep. Deciding to flip to the back, I began to work on the crossword puzzle. I had gotten as far as fifteen down when Charlie started shifting in his bed. I pulled the curtain closed hoping the light hadn't woken him. He shifted a few more times and then opened his eyes.

"Hey, Bells, don't you ever go home?" I knew was glad to see me by the smile across his face.

"Whatever, I feel like I'm barely here." I'd gotten up to go to him. "Besides someone has to make sure you are taking care of yourself."

He chuckled. "I seem to survive just fine without you."

"Hardly, you forget I've been to the house. What have you been eating? Because there is nothing in the kitchen, and I won't even get started about how revolting the bathroom was." I shook my head at him.

"I was going to clean it the day I had my damn heart attack." He started to laugh

"I'm sure you were." We laughed together. "And what do you eat?"

"Well I eat at the diner, or sometimes I eat down at the reservation." His voice had trailed off at the end of that statement.

"What was that? Where else do you eat?" I dropped my head down trying to make eye contact with him. Charlie was actually blushing.

"There's this widow down at the reservation. Sometimes I go down there to fix things for her, and she feeds me dinner." He was deliberately trying to look away from me.

_What?_ _Was my dad dating?_ "So, what is this widow's name?"

"Sue Cl--" his voice actually squeaked. I couldn't believe it. He cleared his throat and started again. "Sue Clearwater."

He was obviously embarrassed and didn't want to talk to me about this, so I decided to let it go. It was probably not a good idea to get him all worked up. I couldn't help but have a huge grin on my face though. It took everything I had not to start laughing.

He looked at me and shook his head. "Stop it." He picked up the remote and started flipping channels.

"How are you feeling today dad?" I went back to my chair.

"I tell you every time Bella, I'm fine. I'm healthy as a horse… Ooooh, I forgot there is a Seahawks game on in a few minutes."

Once the game started, it would be as if I was invisible. I knew I'd better get any conversation I wanted in before the game started.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Nope," he didn't even look away from the TV. It already started.

I got up and walked over to the bed, I tried to put myself in his line of vision. "I'm going to the store. Is there anything I can get for you?"

"Sure… could you get me an ESPN magazine… some deodorant, and… a steak?"

I smirked at him. "Yes, yes, and NO!"

He was watching the football game now. I knew there would be no conversation now. _Yes, this was definitely Charlie feeling better_.

"Alright Dad, I'm leaving now." I leaned over to give him a hug.

I was pretty sure he was watching the game over my shoulder the whole time.

Ron's Food Mart was only a couple of blocks from the hospital, and one of the only grocery marts in Forks. On the way to the store, I kept laughing out loud at the thought of Charlie maybe having a girlfriend. It had made me happy to see the old Charlie bubbling to the surface.

As I pulled into the parking lot I remembered that I was supposed to call Jacob about our date that night.

My purse was on the passenger seat and I was pretty sure that that is where I had put his card. I started digging through my purse, men were right we carry too big of bags with way too much junk. I could never find what I wanted when I wanted it. Objects were being pulled from my bag in search of the card, wallet, Chap Stick, cell phone, Kleenex, tampons. _Aha_, I'd found what I was after.

My fingers were trembling as I dialed the numbers written on the card. I really hadn't been asked out all that much and the butterflies were definitely fluttering about. I'd always been standoffish with men; that Edward shield I held so tightly to; was used for all men. Even when I'd been asked out, I typically found a reason to get out of it. Calling Jacob was a big step for me.

He answered on the second ring. "Hello." I smiled at the sound of his deep voice.

I could picture his tan skin and huge smile saying hello to me.

"Hello?" I heard it again; oh crap I'd started daydreaming about him.

"Hi, Jacob, it's Bella Swan." My voice was getting a little shaky, my palms were sweating, and that stupid grin and blush was spreading across my face. I hoped he couldn't hear it over the phone.

"I was starting to think you were standing me up, or that my phone number got tossed as soon as I was out of your sight." He sounded so confident there was no way he was really worried.

"Actually, I just finished visiting my dad. He was in a good humor. He wasn't interested in me once the game started though. So, I thought it would be alright for us to go out tonight." I could feel myself talking a million miles a second when he interrupted me.

"Yeah, about that; I forgot about the game, so I won't be able to make it tonight." I felt my heart sink. I didn't know how to respond.

I heard him chuckle on the other end of the phone. I felt so stupid. "Bella… you know I find you more interesting than a football game don't you?"

He was flirting and I wasn't good at this at all, I didn't even know how to try. "So, are we going out tonight or no?

He was containing laughter on the other end. I swear I could hear it. "Yeah, I was thinking we could go for dinner and movie in Port Angeles."

"Um, actually I'd rather stay here in Forks just in case Charlie needs me. I'm sorry, is that okay?"

"Don't apologize, that's a very good reason to shoot down my plans. However, you're not leaving us with many options here in Forks." I was drawn to the fact that he spoke so casually with me even though we barely knew each other.

"If you want… I mean it would probably be boring… but you could just come to Charlie's and we could order a pizza and watch a movie." I felt nervous, I felt like I sounded stupid.

"That sounds like a great plan. How about I pick up the pizza and bring it over around seven? What kind of pizza do you like?"

"Anything but anchovies, surprise me. Do you know where Charlie lives?"

"Everyone knows where the police chief lives. I'll see you at seven." He sounded excited and that made me excited.

"Alright, I'll see you later. Bye." I hung up the phone feeling proud of myself. I'd never been that at ease when a date had been involved.

The clock on the dashboard said it was three o'clock. I had four hours to grocery shop and get the house ready for my guest.

The store had a total of six aisles. It was a joke they could call that a grocery store. They didn't have half of the things I had wanted to buy. I was really missing a Whole Foods right about then. I was able to get about two thirds of my list. The rest would have to wait until I could get to Port Angeles.

After two productive hours, I had grocery shopped, unloaded the groceries, scrubbed the kitchen, dusted and picked up the living room, vacuumed the house, and had a pan of brownies baking in the oven. I hoped Jacob liked chocolate.

After digging through my suitcase for five minutes, I knew I'd eventually have to either shop or go home and get all of my clothes, because there wasn't much here to wear on a date.

I settled for a pair of jeans, my white tank top, and a black and white tie front cardigan. It would have to do since it's the only non t-shirt I had left in my suitcase. I looked in the mirror and I felt satisfied with what I saw.

_Beep, Beep, Beep_

The brownies were done. I hurried down the stairs to the kitchen. They were perfect, firm but a little gooey.

It was twenty to seven, so I hurried to finish getting ready. I remembered what I had told myself at the hospital that first day, that it only takes a few extra minutes to make a big difference in how I looked.

_Knock, Knock, Knock_

That sound made my stomach feel like it dropped. Butterflies started swarming in my stomach, and I immediately felt the need to put on some more deodorant.

In my adult life I'd been on five dates, all of them "first dates". I didn't go on a single date in high school. I think too many boys saw how I treated Edward and were too scared to ask me out. At least, I'd hoped that was the reason. In college I stayed too focused on academics. I don't think I ever looked up to see if there were any attractive men around. I remembered one very attractive professor, but that was fantasy land.

After school I had gone on a date with someone I worked with, mistake, he was drunk within five minutes and wanted to head to his place. I called a cab one hour into the date and left him at the restaurant. Work was horrible after that, I tried to avoid him and he spread a whole bunch of lies about me to my co-workers. I told myself I'd never date anyone I worked with again.

Three of my friends had set me up with some men they knew. Date one, was forty years old, and he kept calling me dear all night. Date two, couldn't carry on an intelligent conversation if his life depended on it. I think he must've barely graduated high school. Date three could not leave his glory days behind, all he could talk about was playing high school baseball and how he was able to pitch the championship game at Dodger Stadium. This had made me swear off blind dates for life.

My fifth date…well I'm not sure it would even be called a date. I met a guy running at the beach once, and we made plans to run together sometime. He wanted to race, and I left him in the dust. I never saw him there again. I've never understood men and their egos.

I couldn't believe how nervous I felt. I ran down the stairs tripping twice and caught myself both times. I stopped in front of the door, smoothed out my shirt and hair, and took a long deep breath. I reached for the knob and opened the door.

There was Jacob standing there with a pizza box in hand. It was strange to see him dressed in something other than scrubs. He looked even yummier. He was in some dark colored jeans, a tight black T-shirt that showed every muscle in his broad shoulders, sculpted chest and abs. I had never noticed how tall he was either. He must've been at least six foot four.

He cleared his throat, and I snapped myself out of my thoughts. He had a little smirk on his face, and I wondered how long I had been staring at him.

I cleared my throat. "Come on in, and let me take that for you." I reached for the pizza box.

He shoved his hands in his pocket and took a couple of steps inside. "This does feel kind of weird hanging out at the home of one of my patients."

I felt my heart beat accelerate as I thought the date might've already taken a wrong turn. "Oh… well… we can go to McDonalds or something."

"No, it's fine. I just have never dated anyone related to one of my patients before. This is really… new." He walked further into the living room.

"Are you sure, I didn't realize…"

He turned and looked at me with his Colgate grin. "Really it's fine."

His smile was so contagious I smiled back and led him into the kitchen. I could hear him following right behind me.

I set the pizza down on the table and pulled out some napkins and plates and put them on the table. I reached in the flatware drawer and pulled out a fork. "Do you want a fork?"

He had a confused look on his face. "Are we having something besides pizza?"

"No, it's just that I eat my pizza with a fork." I blushed, feeling a little self-conscious.

"Nope, I'm a man, we eat pizza with our hands," he said pounding on his chest.

We'd both burst out laughing. I knew then that it was going to be an easy night.

"Alright, strong man. Can you handle grabbing two sodas from the fridge?" I asked carrying the food to the table.

"Sure thing," he replied as he opened the fridge.

We'd both grabbed our slices of pizza and started eating.

"Mmmm, I love Hawaiian pizza. Good choice."

"No problem." He finished chewing his bite of food, and cleared his throat, "Bella, I just want you to know that I don't normally do this. In fact I've never asked out someone from the hospital. I've never dated a patient, one of their family members, or even a colleague. I've been very drawn to you since that first day you showed up at the hospital. I'll take this as slow as your comfortable with. If you want to wait until Charlie's all better, that's fine… I would like to see you as much as possible though."

"Thanks for explaining that to me, I appreciate it. I know you're a good guy I never doubted if you were a good guy or not. I would like to see you again too, but Charlie is always my first priority. I'm really comfortable with you, and have been drawn to you too." I could feel my blood pooling to the surface of my face.

Our conversation during dinner was easy; there was always something to talk about without much effort. I'd learned a lot about him. Jacob grew up on an Indian Reservation not far from Forks, he spent a lot of free time working on and restoring cars, he'd been working at the hospital for two years, he had gone to school back east, and he could eat more than anyone I knew. He'd eaten the whole large pizza, other than my two slices.

I'd felt at ease being myself with him. I told him all about my job, and schooling, about growing up with Charlie, and my passions for reading, music and running.

After we were done eating he helped me wash the dishes, then we grabbed our sodas and headed into the living room. He had never seen, Wedding Crashers, before and that was one of my favorites. I informed Jacob that he couldn't go on in life without seeing it. I put in the DVD and turned around to go and sit down.

Jacob was leaning towards one end of the couch, with an arm slung across the back. I wasn't sure if I should sit next to him on the couch or at the opposite end of the couch, so I made the safe choice and sat in Charlie's chair.

I looked over at Jacob, and he had a curious grin on his face "What?"

"Nothing," he said trying to wipe the smirk off his face.

"Okay… are you ready for the funniest movie of your life?" I was almost bouncing in my seat, I love showing new movies to people.

"Let's do this," he said turning towards the flat screen.

Thirty minutes into the movie, I had been doing that really annoying thing where people start laughing before a funny part begins just because you knew what was going to come. I saw Jacob roll his eyes at me a couple of times, so I was trying to contain myself. It had just gotten to the part where they were they play the family football game. I had started cracking up, when I heard a knock on the door.

I had no idea who would be knocking on my door at nine o'clock at night.

"I'll be right back, watch this it's really funny." Jacob smiled and nodded at me as I walked over to the door.

Right when I was about to grab the knob I could hear the scene I had been waiting for and I started laughing, even though I couldn't even see the television.

I opened the door and stopped mid laugh when I saw Edward standing in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" I shifted my body, to block his view of the living room.

"I was just on my way home from my parent's house and Esme wanted me to drop some of this food off for you. She thinks you are going to starve over here." He handed me a bag of food and took a step inside the door.

"Oh, that was nice of her, and nice of you to bring it all the way over here. Thank you." I stayed in the doorway so he would pick up the hint to leave.

"Um, is someone here?" He was peering over my shoulder

I suddenly felt like a bundle of nerves. A man I was kind of in love with but also drove me crazy, and a man who I liked a lot and was currently on a date with were now both in my house. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to handle the situation. I felt my lack of composure, and my heart was racing.

"Yeah, Jacob's here. We just had some dinner, and we're watching a movie." I'd let my eyes become engrossed in the bag of food I held in my hands. He hadn't said anything so I peeked to see if he was still there.

He was staring at me blank faced. "So, are you two on a date?"

"Yeah… sort of." I was trying to figure out what the expression on his face had meant.

Before I had been able to realize what was happening, he was heading out the door. "Sorry… Bella… I didn't mean… to interrupt… I'll see you later." He didn't even look back once during his ramble. He was in his car before I could even respond. _That was weird_.

I rounded the corner into the living room.

Jacob stood up walking towards me. "What's wrong? Was that Cullen at the door?"

"Nothing's wrong. Why would you ask that?" I've always been told I'm a hard person to read, but somehow Jacob knew I was bothered.

"Your eyebrows are scrunched together, and you keep biting your lower lip. Those are usually signs something is wrong." As his eyes penetrated through me I felt as if he was silently begging me to confide in him. I could tell he'd been curious about my relationship with Edward, but I never talked to him about it.

"No, I'm fine." I walked around him to go and put the food in the refrigerator.

"What was Cullen doing here?" It didn't go unnoticed that this was the second time he asked that, and there was definitely some hostility in his voice.

"He was just dropping some food off for me from his mother." I shrugged my shoulders and smiled, trying to let him know it was no big deal. The subject needed to be changed I didn't want to discuss the Edward situation with him. "Let's finish watching the movie."

"Actually, I'm exhausted and I've got to be at the hospital early tomorrow. I think I'm going to head home." He said pointing his thumb over his shoulder.

My heart stuttered at the thought of being rejected. Even though I knew that was not what he was doing. "Okay, well maybe we could finish watching the movie another night."

"So you want to watch this another night...did you just ask me out for another date?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me. He was so cocky but in a good way.

I felt my cheeks blush and my eyes dart straight to the floor. "Uh... well….I just thought you would want to finish the movie." I was waiting for the refusal. Guys like him didn't go out with girls like me. I was well aware of this fact.

"I've got a better idea than watching this _not_ funny movie again." He bent his head down so I would look up at him. I looked up to see the Colgate grin, in full force.

My head snapped up, and I brought my hands to my hips. I loved how playful he was with me, and I loved that I was able to dish it right back at him. "What! This movie is hilarious."

"I feel dumber having watched this movie."

"Nobody said you would be intellectually stimulated. I said you would laugh your butt off. What do you want to do that is so much better?"

"Do you have a dress?"

I dropped my hands, and scrunched my eyebrows together. "What?"

"In three weeks, I need to attend a hospital charity event in Port Angeles. It's this stupid gala type thing for all the hospitals in the surrounding area. I would like it if you would escort me and be my date." He had taken another step towards me. He was right in front of me looking down into my eyes. I could feel the heat radiating from his chest.

"Sure, I would love to go with you Jake." I took a subtle step backwards.

He tilted his head to one side. "Did you just call me Jake?"

"Did I? I'm sorry." I didn't know if that was okay or not.

"No, it's fine that's what my friends call me. You can call me Jake it just took me by surprise. So, do you want to go? You'll need a dress though; I'm assuming you didn't bring one with you."

"Lucky for me, my best friend lives to shop. It shouldn't be a problem. When is it?"

"The first Saturday in November. In about three weeks. Is it a date?"

"Well, I definitely would like to go. It's just… I don't know what's going to be going on with Charlie at that point. Can I say yes contingent upon Charlie's health?" I was a little reluctant to leave Charlie for a whole evening.

"That will be fine. We'll have a much better idea tomorrow of a schedule." He sounded like Dr. Black now, not Jake.

"Then it's a date… maybe." I smiled up at him.

" Hey, just because I set up a date that is three weeks away, doesn't mean we can't go out again before then." He ran his hand down my arm before he turned to the door. "I better get going."

"I had a good time." Surprisingly I really did.

We were standing at the door. I turned towards him cautiously. This was the part of the night I'd always hate. I hadn't wanted to kiss him yet, but I hated to be the rejecter also. I looked up at him and I could tell he wanted to kiss me.

I quickly leaned towards him with my arms wide spread to give him a hug. I could tell I had taken him off guard, but he hugged me back. He was so strong, and warm. He made me feel safe. I enjoyed his embrace for a moment, and then pulled away quickly so there was not a chance for a kiss.

"Thanks for coming I'll probably see you tomorrow."

"Yup. Thanks. Bella. You were a fantastic date. Bye." He looked a little disappointed. Poor guy had no idea how messed up I was when it came to relationships.

As I shut the door, I had let the grin spread across my face. I'd just had a successful date with a very attractive man, with no major catastrophes, and he asked me to go out again. Tonight had definitely been the best date I'd ever had.

**EPOV**

After having dinner with my parents, Esme had asked me to drop some food off to Bella. It was late and not exactly on my way home but I thought I would help out my mom and my friend.

By the time I pulled up to Bella's I had become really excited to see her. I thought maybe we could talk and I could get to know her better.

When she answered the door I noticed she looked really pretty. She had a huge grin on her face like she'd been laughing. She was acting so weird though, like she didn't want me to be there. I thought we had gotten past this. Then I thought I heard someone cough in the living room. I thought maybe Alice might be there with Jasper.

When I asked if someone was there she told me that she and Jacob were on a date. I didn't know why but that information made my whole chest tighten up.

Without saying anything to her, I turned and bolted from there as fast as my legs would take me. I was apologizing as I practically ran away. That had not been one of my finest moments.

As I drove away I realized I had been gripping the steering wheel so tight my knuckles were turning white. I had to consciously tell myself to relax my hands.

I couldn't understand why I was so bothered by her being on a date with Jacob. I really didn't care for Jacob Black, who in my opinion was an arrogant, womanizer. I didn't want him anywhere near Bella. It must've been the protective brother thing I was feeling. She had always been my sister's best friend. I just didn't want her involved with him.

It also could've been the fact that Jacob was on a date with one of his patients daughters. I thought about telling the head of our department about this, or even talking to him myself about how inappropriate this was myself. Then I realized I was being ridiculous.

_Argh, why do I even care?_

**Chapter Notes:** What did you think of the date? What did you think of Edward's reaction?

I love reviews almost as much as Edward. Please Review!


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Notes:** Thanks for the reviews I got last chapter, even though there were not many this chapter. Come on peeps what happened? This is a long chapter, and one of my favorites, I hope you enjoy.

Thank you, thank you GinnyW and ShabbyApple, I'm figuring it out.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all, well not my flawed writing.

**Cullen's, Cullen's, and More Cullen's**

_Ring, Ring, Ring_

My hand fumbled on the night stand searching for the cell phone, so that I could turn off my alarm. My eyes refused to cooperate as I pleaded with them to open. I didn't want to let go of the feelings I felt during the dream I'd just had. As much as I tried I couldn't remember what happened, but I felt warm, safe, and _so_ happy. I wanted to feel this way all of the time. Trying to get back to that place of pure happiness, I squeezed my eyes tighter. I wanted to redeem those feelings that were so quickly fading.

After a few minutes, I realized it was a lost cause. My mind quickly went back to the thoughts of everything that needed to be done today.

I pulled myself out of bed and drug myself to start getting ready. While starting to brush my teeth I almost immediately had a flashback of last night. I thought about how successful my date had been with Jacob, and how weird Edward had acted….

My tooth brush slipped out of my hands and crashed down into the white porcelain sink. My mouth hung wide open, and all I could do was blink. I remembered my dream. As soon as Edward's name ran through my brain it was back.

My legs drug backwards until they hit the bathtub causing me to collapse onto the edge. My head was starting to spin, in part due to the fact that I was breathing so erratically. I dropped my elbows down to my knees and took some long deep breaths. My mind could not grasp why the flashback of my dream was making me feel this way. My neck gave, and my head dropped into my palms.

The dream came back so clearly. I had been in water waist deep on a beach on a secluded island. The sun had been invigorating on my skin, the water had been warm and lapping against my body, and the sand had been so soft between my toes. This was not the part of the dream that upset me. Although that might have been the part that made me actually feel warm and happy. I think what upset me was the other factor in my dream. I was naked and being held so safe and secure in the arms of­­--oh gosh, I couldn't even think it-- was safe and in the arms of…_Edward_. My hands were pressed against his chest and on my left ring finger was a huge diamond ring.

As my mind left the dream I realized I was rocking myself back and forth, and trembling. I felt like screaming, crying, and twirling across the room all at the same time. The sense of warmth and contentment washed over me just from the memory of my dream. I felt confused. I had a wonderful evening with Jacob last night and I really thought I was starting to like him. I couldn't figure out why my mind always went back to Edward. The man irritated the hell out of me, he had a girlfriend, and I was developing these feelings for Jacob. I was baffled, and I couldn't figure out the turmoil of emotions I was feeling.

I've always been able to rationalize all my previous dreams of Edward. He was a beautiful man, no woman could deny that. So there was nothing out of the ordinary for me to have fantasies of him kissing me and holding me. But this dream was different there were serious emotions, pure contentment, a wedding ring. Not only did I feel all of these things, but I woke up feeling them. They did not just float away with the dream.

_Am I really this in love with Edward?_

Frustrated, I was trying to figure out this twisted obsession my heart and mind had with Edward. I'd kept these feelings in check for fifteen years, and suddenly I felt like all of those emotions were unleashed in one big flood.

Grabbing tight to the edge of the tub, I sat straight up and took several long deep breaths. I knew the only way to get a hold of myself was to get outside and run it off.

The darkness in the house told me it was cold and raining outside, I decided to dress warmer. I threw on my black yoga pants; a long sleeved black t-shirt, and my running shoes. I dug through Charlie's coat closet determined to find my old pullover rain jacket. It had to be here, I would not take it to L.A. After a ten minute search I finally found it wadded up on the shelf.

The arctic wind that hit me when I opened the door made me feel a little refreshed. I stepped out onto the porch and felt my heart plummet. There standing at the bottom of the steps was Edward.

I wanted to crumble to the ground and start crying. How could I possibly get over a man who was always around, who was being so friendly to make up for past times, who was absolutely beautiful, and who was always the leading man in my dreams? I almost felt like giving up and just pining over this man for the rest of my life. However; my brain kicked in and I came back to reality, and put that shield back over my heart…for now. I had to be tough Bella that refused to be affected by him.

"What are you doing here? Are you trying to get me to hate you again?" I turned around and locked the door then stuck the key back on the porch eave.

"You're hurting my feelings, Bella. I thought we were friends now." He put his hand on his chest and tried to look crushed. I felt my heart skip a beat at the sight.

"I said I don't hate you. I said nothing about us being best friends. Besides, who shows up at someone's house at 6:15 in the morning? How did you know I wasn't going to be asleep?" I walked down the steps and started to stretch out.

"You said you run every morning at six and I need to get back in shape. So, I thought I could run with you, maybe train you a little." That stupid crooked grin, I could feel my heart trying to burst that shield off of my heart.

"Cullen, you can talk all you want. We'll see what happens on the pavement." I stood up and took off down the street without even a glance in his direction.

It only took a couple of seconds before I heard him running up behind me.

"So what is your usual… two times around the block?" He was laughing at his own joke before he even finished talking.

"You're an idiot, you know that? It's like you're still a fifteen year old trapped in an adult body." I had a smile creping to the surface that I wished would go away.

I had finished my warm up jog before I picked up my speed I turned to him and said, "I don't think I'll have to listen to you for long. I run five miles. I just finished my warm up and I can hear you panting already." I picked up my speed and took off with a triumphant smile across my face.

He caught back up with me again a few seconds later. "Did you ever stop running?"

"No, I have my weeks where I just get lazy. But I feel better when I'm running. I actually look forward to it. I need it. Why, did you stop?"

"While I was in medical school I got so tired and was studying all of the time, I got out of the habit. I never had the motivation to start again."

"Running is the only way I can fully clear my mind. All my stress just melts away." I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn't put into words what running did for me.

"What do you think about?"

"Everything," I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"What were you thinking about yesterday?" He started to pull off his pullover rain jacket.

Oh no, do I tell him the truth or lie? My head was saying lie, lie, lie, but of course my mouth has no filter. "I was thinking about you, and—."

He interrupted me, "I'm sure you always think about me."

I stopped running. "Look, Edward, you may think you're funny. You're lucky I don't punch you in the face. And yes, I do think about you a lot when I'm running. Either it's your voice pushing me to be faster and run further, or it's me trying to run off all of the irritation you cause me so I don't rip your head off."

He just stood there staring at me with his mouth open. I think I shocked him. I told him exactly what I thought but I controlled my anger and spoke rationally.

This was the first time I really looked at Edward this morning. His hair was still the perfect mess it always was but it was covered with water droplets, and little chunks of his hair were hanging over his forehead. His green eyes were sparkling, with tiny raindrops dripping down his face. For some reason I wanted reach over and kiss off the drop that just fell from his top lip to his lower lip. He was wearing a gray t-shirt, that was soaking wet and clinging to his defined chest and abs. He had on black basketball shorts that hung dangerously off of his hips. His legs were so long and muscular.

As I studied his body, I felt those thoughts I felt this morning during my dreams trickling back into my mind.

_STOP IT, BELLA!_

I let out a small scream and took off running again. Edward hadn't moved.

I thought he had turned around and left. I felt torn between relief and guilt. How could one person drive me this crazy?

About a quarter of a mile later I heard him coming up behind me. I smiled at myself because I heard his heavy breathing louder than his shoes on the pavement. I wasn't even winded yet.

"Do you care if I run with you every morning?" He could barely talk without gasping. I wanted to laugh.

"If you can learn to keep your mouth shut, and stop panting so hard." I looked over and gave him a friendly smile. Now that I could return the banter without being emotional about it, I actually kind of enjoyed this teasing relationship we we've always had.

We ran for a few miles in comfortable silence. He probably couldn't talk because he was so winded.

"I didn't know I was so out of shape--not that I can't keep up with you. So what's going on with you and Jacob?" He nudged shoulders with me. I could tell he was trying to be friendly and playful, but I so did not want to talk to him about that.

"Not much." That's all he was going to get out of me. "Hey, there is only about a half mile left, do you want to race?"

He was hesitant, but I knew his ego wouldn't let him say no. "Fine."

We both took off running, pumping our arms as hard as we could. He held on for a little while, but he didn't have the endurance built up like I had. That was always the case. I was always envious of Edward's natural gift for speed, but he still couldn't last as long as me. The thought had brought a smile to my face.

I stopped at my driveway and turned around to see he was only about two house lengths behind me. I couldn't help the grin that escaped my mouth. I felt proud of myself. I beat Edward in a race, and I'd gained better control of my emotions. I didn't even have to focus on my problems for running to help alleviate part of my turmoil. By the time he caught up to me he was gasping.

"Hang on a second." I turned and ran into the house.

I came back out and he was still bent over with his hands on his knees catching his breath.

"Here." I handed him a water bottle. I opened up my own and took a big drink.

"I bet you that by next week I will be able to beat you." He was dead serious.

I let out a little giggle. "How old are you?"

"What? I know I'm faster than you. I'm just out of shape."

"Fine, we will race in the same stretch again next week. I'll see you tomorrow if you can still walk," I said smirking. I turned and walked up the stairs to my porch.

"I'll see you in a couple of hours at the hospital," he was unlocking his silver Volvo.

My heart stuttered, as my thoughts went back to my dad. I turned around and looked at him. "Right, I forgot about that." I just hoped that today they would be able to tell us things were better and not worse.

"Bella, he's going to be fine. I promise." He gave me a reassuring smile and got into his car. For some reason him telling me that made me feel a little more at ease.

I pulled into the parking lot of the hospital and didn't even realize how I had gotten here. All morning I had been just thinking about all of my different feelings towards Edward and what I was going to do about them. I knew I had some serious emotional ties to him and I couldn't deny them, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to even act on them or allow them to continue. On that same note, I felt like I couldn't control my feelings either. I had no idea how to make myself not have feelings for someone. I also knew that I was developing an enjoyable friendship with him. I had fun running with him and I was enjoying our banter now that I was sure it was not out of hate on either part. I hadn't figured anything out, but I knew I wanted us to be friends and as long as he had a girlfriend I had to keep those other feelings in check.

The elevator dinged, and I looked up as the doors opened. I walked over to Charlie's room and opened the door. There was conversation going on in the room, and I was excited by the voice I heard.

"Alice," I squealed. "What are you doing here?" I walked over and put an arm around her.

"Edward called and told me what was going on with Charlie today, and said you could probably use my company while you waited," she said with a mischievous smile across her face.

I felt the part of my heart that loved Edward swell, and I used all my strength to try and push it back down.

I smiled back at Alice, hugged her tight, and then walked over to my dad.

"Hey, Dad, how are you feeling?" I reached down and squeezed his hand.

"Feeling good kid, in fact I'm thinking we should just head home right now."

Alice strode on over next to me and sat on the edge of the bed. "Charlie, if you don't get healthy who's going to be police chief and protect us from all the monsters in Forks?"

A bashful grin took over Charlie's face but he was trying very hard to control it. Alice always had a way of persuading Charlie. She had him wrapped around her little finger.

_Knock, Knock, Knock_

The door opened and in walked Charlie's nurse and Jacob.

I felt a smile creep up on me. I really did like Jacob, he was attractive, we had fun together, and he made me comfortable in my own skin. I wondered how much of my interest in Jacob was really an attraction for him and how much was me trying to get over my feelings for Edward.

_Was I using him? No I do like him, it's just not the same._

Jacob gave me his big smile and I felt my heart stutter. I wasn't sure if it was from his smile or if it was due to the fact that they were going to be taking Charlie.

Jacob and I were stuck in a gaze with each other for a second before he looked away. I felt pink start to rise through my face.

I was starting to think that I was developing bipolar disorder of the heart. How could I have feelings; different feelings, but feelings for two different men?

Alice nudged my shoulder. I shook myself out of the trance and realized there was a conversation going on between Charlie and the nurse that I was missing.

Charlie clapped his hands together. "All right let's do this."

Jacob patted Charlie's knee. "Yes, sir." Jacob looked up at me. "Bella, this should probably take about an hour, and then we'll bring him back up here."

"All right, thanks." I leaned over and hugged my dad. "I'll be here when you get back. I love you."

"You too." They rolled his bed out of the room.

Alice grabbed my hand and pulled us towards the door. "Don't be worried."

"I'm not; Edward said this wasn't a big deal." I said still looking at Charlie down the hall. I was worried. I wanted them to come back with good news.

"I'm starving let's go downstairs. Then you are going to tell me when you started talking to my brother again and why you are ogling the doctor."

"Argh," I threw my head back and rolled my eyes. Why did this pixie have to know everything?

We were the only ones in the quiet cafeteria. The north wall was all windows looking out at a small courtyard. The sky was starting to lighten up. It looked like it might be sunny today. Alice and I pulled out the metal chairs making a horrible screeching sound on the white, linoleum floor. We set our trays down across from each other. I opened my Dr. Pepper and took a big swig.

"Ahh, I love this stuff," I said eyeing my bottle of sweet nectar.

"Whatever. When did you and Edward become friends? And what happened with you guys at my parents' house?" She was spreading the cream cheese on her bagel.

"I don't know, the other day I guess. And nothing happened at your parent's house. We were just talking." I bit into my poppy seed muffin.

"Bella Swan, you are going to give me more information than that. I'm not stupid, I know what I saw on your face that night. What happened?" She was holding on to the edges of the table and was leaning across the table towards me.

I was going to play dumb about this until the day I died. "Alice… I really have no idea what you're talking about." I looked her straight in the eye and acted uninterested in the subject. I broke off another piece of muffin.

I can talk to Alice about anything. In fact, she is my go to girl for everything. But I refused to talk to her about her brother. Under no circumstances what so ever would she ever find out that a small part of me loved him or that he kissed me.

"Ugh, you drive me crazy sometimes. You have too much Charlie in you." She was acting mad, but I knew she was mostly just frustrated. Alice always had to know everything.

I reached across the table and touched her hand. "I need a favor from you that will make you very happy."

She pulled her hand away and folded her arms across her chest. She turned her head from me and tried to act uninterested. I knew better though. I knew she was dying to know what I was going to tell her. I could work this girl just as much as she could work me.

"I've been asked to go to a hospital charity gala thing in three weeks." Her head snapped up, and a smile spread across my face. "I'm going to need a dress to wear, and since we're already going to go shopping I thought you could help me get a dress."

I could see her resisting the smile that was about to burst across her face. "Are you going to tell me who you are going with?"

"Yes."

"Okay fine. Start talking." She resumed eating her bagel, and I knew she was happy now.

"Jacob and I had a date last night and…"

"WHAT?" She practically yelled.

"Yeah, after I left your house Sunday, I went to the hospital. I ran into Jacob and he asked me out."

Alice was slumped in her chair rubbing her temples. "I could've sworn there was something going on with you and Edward. How was I wrong about that?" If only she knew how right she was.

"Alice, you need to give up on your childhood ideas." I picked up my bottle of Dr. Pepper again, and resisted laughing at her.

"You watch, Bella Swan, I'm right about this. I don't care if it takes twenty years it will happen." She was pointing her tiny little finger at me. I felt a small part of my heart become hopeful with Alice's words.

"Uh, have you forgotten about a person named Tanya?"

"That's not going to happen." She leaned forward tapping her right temple. "Psychic, remember?"

We both started cracking up. I threw a piece of muffin at her. Alice and her visions, since we were little she always thought she could see the future.

"All right, so tell me all about your date." She took a big bite of her bagel.

I recounted every detail of my date to her. I told her about how cocky he was. How amazing he looked. How easy our conversation was. How he invited me to go to the benefit with him. I left out the part about Edward showing up and about me avoiding Jacob's kiss. She was thoroughly excited for me. Recounting the date made me feel really excited about my date and Jacob again.

"Why didn't you kiss him?" she asked innocently.

Alice knew that I was not promiscuous. She also knew I was very private with intimate details. Alice and our girlfriends were always dating and hooking up with boys in high school, and they all became sexually active in college. They informed each other about everything. I on the other hand, could not be further from that place. When we would have girl talks I would laugh at all their innuendos and try to be part of the conversation. In reality though, I had no idea what they were talking about. I had only ever kissed three men in my whole life, one of which was just the other night.

"I don't know."

"You like him, don't you? And it sounds like your date was a success. What was the problem?" She laced her fingers on the table and leaned forward in her seat.

I just shrugged my shoulders.

I looked down and started crumbling the remainder of my muffin. I didn't want to start this conversation. I had never discussed this part of my life with anyone, and I felt safer that way. I knew that if I started to talk to Alice about this I would tell her everything.

_Why can't I really open myself to anyone?_

"Bella? Bella?" I focused my eyes and saw that I had completely pulverized my muffin. Alice was shaking my arm trying to bring me out of my trance.

"What's going on? Are you okay, sweetie?" Alice scooted over into the chair next to me.

"Yup, I'm fine." I wiped the crumbs off of my hands and folded up my napkin.

"No, you're not. Is it Jacob?" She bowed her head down to force me to look her in the eye.

"No, Jacob is great. I just don't know how to be with a man." I tried to communicate to her with my eyes, what I was trying to say. I felt my face turning its normal shade of red.

"Do you mean in a relationship or sexually?"

I reluctantly looked up at her. "Both."

"Bella, you've been in relationships and you've been with a man…Haven't you?"

I took a deep breath and then looked back down at my hands. I had to do it. I needed to talk to someone about this. "No."

Alice's eyes got about twice their normal size and she held her breath. I counted ten seconds before she blinked, thirty seconds before she let out her breath, and a full minute before she closed her mouth.

I'd immediately started to feel regret and humiliation "Thanks… see this is why I never said anything." I started to get up from the table.

Alice grabbed my arm pulling me back down in my chair.

"I'm sorry… I just never…You've always been private about your feelings and boys…I never imagined it was because you had nothing to tell." She dropped her hands in her lap and looked at me. "Why?" I could tell she really was confused by this revelation.

I slumped and let out a breath. I knew if I could trust anyone it was Alice. "I just never bothered in high school. The only boys that even appealed to me were out of my league. In college I was busy with school and a little insecure because of my inexperience. It was just safer to be uninterested in anyone. Now, I've waited so long that I want all of it to really mean something. I don't want to get into a relationship or sleep with a man just to say I have. I have yet to meet a man who I was willing to give myself to emotionally, or physically." I felt the tears starting to well up as I struggled to push down the lump in my throat. I dropped my face into my hands.

Immediately, I felt Alice's tiny arms wrap around me. "Oh Bella, that's a good thing. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Then why do I feel so ridiculous right now?" I was sobbing at this point. I grabbed a napkin and wiped my nose.

"Bella, after I found Jasper and realized how much I loved him and I was going to spend all my life with him, I wished I had something that amazing to give to him. I wish I was able to show him, that I had belonged only to him. I know that right now…"

As I looked up at the wall feeling defeated I caught a glance of the clock. It had been more than an hour since I left Charlie.

"Come on we need to go. It's been over an hour." I picked up my food and headed over to the trash.

"Alice, do you think we can keep our last conversation to ourselves? Don't even tell Jasper." I felt like I was begging.

Alice stopped turned me around and hugged me. "There is nothing to be embarrassed about. But of course your secret is safe with me." I felt so relieved. Confiding in Alice felt good. I should have moved back to Forks years ago. Being back here has been better than being in therapy…and cheaper.

There was no conversation after that, we were both lost in our own thoughts.

We rounded the corner into Charlie's room, but he wasn't there yet. However, there was a woman I did not know sitting there. She stood up when I walked into the room. I wondered if I was in the wrong room.

"Hello, you must be Bella." She was holding her hand out to me.

I reached forward and shook her hand. "Yes I am, and you are?"

"Oh I'm sorry…I'm a little worried about Charlie, I'm Sue Clearwater."

A huge smile spread across my face. This was the sort of girlfriend. This would be interesting when Charlie got back. "Of course, I've heard so much about you." She blushed at my statement. "This is my best friend Alice Cullen."

Alice shook Sue's hand and never wanting to be left out of the loop said, "Sue, how do you know Charlie?"

I started to smirk. Sue looked up at me and was now blushing.

"Well…I um… well… Charlie helps me out by fixing stuff at my house."

I smiled at her and looked at Alice. "I think they are dating but neither wants to fess up about it." I looked back at Sue and winked at her. She just smiled and looked down at the floor. I knew I was going to like her.

I could hear Jacob's voice getting closer to the room. They wheeled in dad and he looked normal. I felt relief seeing that.

I walked over to the bed. "How do you feel dad? Did they torture you?"

"No, I'm fine. I think I'm going to have a nice bruise on my leg though."

I looked up at Edward and Jacob, who had just walked in after the nurse had settled Charlie.

"So, how did it go?" I could feel my heart thrumming. Charlie looked fine, he didn't seem nervous at all. Everything seemed fine with him. But maybe they hadn't given him any results yet.

Edward cleared his throat. He was holding a chart in his hand and dropped his hands down to his thighs in front of him. "Well Bella, while doing your dad's cardiac catheterization we did find a small blockage in one of his arteries." I felt my body stiffen up. "It was small enough that we were able to clear it out using the catheter. There is a bit of plaque build-up, but we think that he can control that with diet, exercise, and medication. If your dad is feeling well enough, and his vitals are still good tomorrow, we are going to let him go home."

I felt smiles all around. Sue had was glowing and I saw her reach down and hold Charlie's hand. Jacob and Edward both had radiant grins too. I'm sure that it was mostly due to Charlie's condition but also in part in congratulations to themselves. Charlie was as happy as a child on Christmas morning.

Edward started to finish what he was saying. "Dr. Black is going to go over a diet and exercise program we expect you to follow at home and we will need to see you for follow- up appointments. Charlie, I'm really glad we didn't have to perform surgery. I'm sure I'll see you around. I've got to get to surgery. You all have a great day." He looked over at me with a playful smile and left the room.

Jacob gave Charlie a long lecture about diet and exercise, and I paid close attention so I would know what to enforce. He told Charlie he would be back tomorrow and hopefully sign the papers to discharge him.

As Jacob left the room I looked over and saw that, Charlie and Sue kept steeling glances at each other and it made me feel intrusive being here. "Dad I'm going to go and walk Alice down to her car. I'll be back in a while."

"Okay." He looked exhausted.

My heart was so full of love for my dad. I walked over and threw my arms around him. "I'm so glad you're going to be okay, Dad. I love you." He squeezed me back and I saw a tear fall down his cheek.

My heart began to swell even more. I stood and turned to leave with Alice before the sobs began.

Alice and I talked about her wedding plans as we walked towards her car. This really wasn't my thing, but it was Alice's wedding so I could handle listening to it better knowing it was her day.

Our conversation was interrupted by my phone ringing in my bag.

"That's my cell phone." Alice released our arms that we had linked and I reached into my purse for my phone.

"Hello"

"Bella. Hi, it's Rosalie."

"Hi, Rosalie. What's up?" I looked over at Alice who raised her eyebrows at me. I'm sure she was wondering why Rosalie was calling. I was wondering the same thing.

"I need to ask you a huge favor--and it's all right if you say no—but--Do you think you could come and stay with the girls Saturday afternoon? I normally wouldn't ask considering your situation, but Tanya was supposed to but she has to go out of town. The girls have been begging to play with you since Sunday…" She was talking a mile a minute.

"Rosalie, it's fine. I would love to. What time do you need me there?" I loved feeling like I was part of a big family.

"We are going to Seattle for a football game with Carlisle and Esme. We need to leave around two."

"I won't be able to stay all night. Charlie is being released to go home tomorrow so I won't want to be away all night."

"No we're staying overnight in Seattle. Edward is going to stay the night with the girls. I just need you to be there until he gets off of work at around six."

"That sounds fine. Tell the girls I'm excited." And I really was.

"Thanks, Bella. If something happens with your dad and you need to be somewhere else just let me know, and we'll figure something out."

"All right, I'll talk to you later. Bye." I closed my cell phone and looked over at Alice's impatient face.

The second I closed my phone Alice had to know what was going on. "What did Rosalie want?"

"Oh, I'm going to watch the girls Friday."

"How come they never ask me to watch the girls? It's always mom, then dad, then Edward, then Tanya, and now YOU! What did I ever do?" she mumbled under her breath.

I knew exactly how to appease Alice. "I'm sure everyone just wants to make sure you and Jasper have plenty of time together. Plus, we all know you're trying to plan a wedding." I wrapped my arm around her tiny shoulders.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She sounded defeated.

"Oh, my mom says you are supposed to have Sunday dinner with us every week. This week we are having dinner on Friday though, since they are going to the game. You'll be there won't you? Hey you should bring Charlie. I'll tell my mom she has to make something healthy for him."

"That would be great, tell Esme thank you. I don't know what I would do without you Cullen's." I bumped her hip with mine, and smiled.

**Author's Notes:** Wew! I'm glad everything worked out with Charlie. I wonder if Bella has enough reason to stick around if Charlie does not really need her.

I am going to be moving in the next two weeks. I am really going to try and get another chapter up before the move. There may be longer breaks between chapters, just depending on how quickly I get settled. I'm sorry I know it sucks to wait for updates. I'll do my best.

Please show me some love. I was heart-broken at how little reviews I got last chapter. Review, you know you want to.


	12. Chapter 12

I'm glad you all enjoyed the last chapter. I know some of you really wanted this chapter to be the babysitting, but that is next chapter. Thanks for your reviews, they really keep me motivated to update sooner. I love reading everyone of them and I try to reply to each of you. Thanks for reading and enjoy the chapter.

Thank you Ginny and Kindra, you can now enjoy your break from me.

I own nothing this all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Life Decisions**

**EPOV**

My body was really suffering from these morning runs with Bella. I went from no exercise in years, to hard core running two days in a row. How had I let myself get so out of shape? I knew if I just kept running with Bella, I would get back into shape and into the habit.

It was so cold outside; I decided to wait in the car until Bella came outside. She emerged a few minutes later. She looked down into the yard and then had a look of disappointment. I wondered if she was hoping I would be there to run with her. I smiled at that thought.

I jumped out of my car and jogged across the wet pavement to her yard.

She looked up at me with a mischievous look in her eye. "You're back." She smirked and then leaned over to start stretching.

I kept my own smile at bay. "What was that look for?"

"Nothing, I'm just surprised you showed up for more torture." There was that beautiful smirk again.

Leaning towards the ground I began my own stretch, I wanted to laugh at her playfulness. Without looking up at her I said, "Well you see, I have this race next week that _I am_ going to win; so I need to get in better shape."

When Bella informed me that growing up she hated me and the banter between us, I'd beensad. I'd found myself worrying that the playful part of our friendship would have to end, and I would have to be sensitive so she didn't hate me anymore. But, while we were running the day after that discussion, I felt the teasing just spill from my lips. It was too easy to be this way with her. I didn't get to enjoy this playfulness with anyone else. Only Bella brought out this side of me. It was even more fun now that she was participating equally without any underlying anger.

"You done stalling, Cullen?" She was done stretching and standing there with her arms folded across her chest.

"Let's do this, Swan."

We started at a brisk jog, trying to warm up our muscles in the cold weather. It was silent for a couple of blocks. It wasn't a tense silence, but it wasn't a comfortable either. I needed to know what she was thinking. I knew that she cleared her mind when she ran, but what was she be thinking about.

"Are you worried about Charlie coming home?" I was making guesses, since I knew she would not pour her thoughts out to me.

She scrunched her eyebrows together, "Um, a little. Jacob said he would be sore and tired for a few days, but he should be back to normal soon."

Silence again, she was giving me nothing. She had definitely picked up some speed. I was working really hard to maintain a normal breathing pattern as I kept up with her.

Minutes passed. _Ugh, the silence is killing me. What is she thinking?_

"Bella, you're killing me with the silence. What's going on in that head of yours? You're not plotting my death are you?" I nudged her shoulder with mine.

"I thought we were running, not braiding each other's hair," she snapped at me.

"Bella," I practically growled at her.

"What, Edward, I just have some things I'm trying to figure out. Back off, I told you this is my time to clear my head. If you can't enjoy the silence sometimes, I won't let you come anymore."

I couldn't tell if she was playing the game or really wanted me to leave her alone. I'd never been one to back down from her before.

"What decisions?"

No response, just silence. I felt some laughter start rising in my throat because of her stubbornness. I was irritating her. I pushed the laughter back down but let the smile escape.

"What decisions?" I wanted to let her know I was not dropping this.

Ten seconds passed in silence. I took in a breath preparing to ask her again but she spoke before I had a chance.

"I'm trying to decide if I'm going to stay in Forks." It was barely above a whisper, she sounded overwhelmed.

My heart stuttered and I felt myself get anxious. I couldn't figure out why she was going to leave. I thought she'd already made that decision. I also couldn't figure out why my chest was constricting at the thought of her leaving.

"I thought you had already decided to stay." Why had there been panic in my voice? She looked at me out the corner of her eye; she'd heard it, too.

Bella let out a long breath, and stopped running. She didn't turn to look at me, she just stared straight ahead. "The whole reason for me to be here was to take care of Charlie. He doesn't need the surgery, and he has Sue to take care of him. He doesn't need me."

_I need you._ I gasped at the plea that just went through my head. I felt dumb- struck, I had no idea where that had come from.

"Was Charlie the only reason you were staying? I thought you said you weren't happy in LA. You seem to be happy here. Why do you need a tragic reason to stay?" I spoke so quickly I wondered if she had heard all of my arguments. I sounded more like I was begging her to stay, rather than try to be supportive like a friend should be. I didn't like it. I couldn't be involved in these life decisions. I began to run faster.

My brain was in over drive. I couldn't understand why I cared. We've barely had a civil friendship for a couple of days. What was this magnetic pull she had on me?

She came up and started running with me again. She didn't say a word, I smiled silently over my victory. If she was going back to L.A., she would've come back arguing

"When are you moving back here?" I asked casually.

"What are you a mind-reader? I was just trying to figure out when it would be a good time to go down to LA. I need to talk to Charlie and my boss first. If Charlie is doing fine, maybe I will go down next weekend." She had a genuine smile on her face and all the worries that were there before seemed to fade. I could tell this was the right decision for her.

This gave me comfort. Convincing her had not been about me, it was about her; I was helping her to make the best decision for her.

"You're not going to go by yourself," I stated very matter-of- factly.

"Why not? Who are you to tell me what I can or cannot do?" She thinks she's as fierce as a lion, but really she is just like an angry kitten.

"Bella, I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but it's not safe for a girl to drive twelve hundred miles alone." I was trying to get her to understand this was not me being a pain; I was truly concerned for her safety.

"I'm sure Alice would be able to go with me," she snapped.

A roar of laughter escaped my mouth. "Yeah, that's going to help having a four foot nothing pixie with you."

She was beyond mad; Bella never liked being told she couldn't do something especially because she was a girl.

I knew exactly what to say to end the conversation. "You're right." I saw her head whip around to me with a look of victory. "I'm sure Charlie will be absolutely fine with you driving all alone or with Alice." Now I was the one with a look of victory on my face.

She let out a loud huff. "You're right." I knew better than to believe this, she was just turning my words back on me. "I should probably have Jacob check his schedule to see if he could maybe drive with me."

In that moment I swear I was seeing everything in red. I was about to tell her what I thought of Jacob Black, but she was running ahead of me now. She was intentionally trying to get me irritated. She would never ask a guy she barely knows to drive with her 1200 miles.

She was only a few paces ahead of me, and I looked around and realized we were only a few blocks from her house. I wondered… if I took off in a dead sprint right then, catching her off guard would I be able to beat her to the house? The real question had been if I could last that long in a dead sprint. I wasn't sure, but I was going to try.

I tried to be as stealthly

as possible, so she wouldn't hear me as I took off like a bat out of hell. It was only half a second before I passed her. I tried not to laugh at the thought of what her face must have looked like when I passed her. This felt like high school again. I could hear her running as hard as she could behind me, and it just fueled my body to keep going even faster. Her house was now in my line of vision. The excitement of victory spread through me, I was so close. In that same second I felt my body start to shut down and Bella getting closer. I pushed myself with everything I had left in me, but it wasn't enough. There was only one house left as she past me with the biggest smile I had ever seen her wear across her face.

She collapsed down onto the wet grass in front of her house when she stopped. She was lying on her back in the grass, with her knees bent. I stopped right next to her hunched over with my hands on my knees. I was looking right over her stomach. There was nothing but the sound of two people desperately gasping for breath for a minute or two.

"Well Edward, you get an E for effort; even if you did have to cheat to try and beat me." She slapped my calf, and her hand lingered there for a moment.

That jolt of electricity I felt the day I kissed her was back again. I looked down at her below me. She was covered in a sheen of sweat, panting, her mahogany hair spread out over the grass, and those big brown eyes penetrating mine.

We were locked in a stare for a couple of seconds. I quickly looked away from her and I felt her hand pull quickly away from my calf, also pulling away the electric current running through me.

She jumped up from the ground, and started wiping grass off of herself. Without looking at me she muttered, "Sorry."

I looked over her head at the house as I answered her. "No big deal. I've got to go. I'll see you later."

"All right, see you later." She spun on her heels, and hurried up the steps to her door.

I ran across the street and jumped into my Volvo, and peeled out down the street.

Minutes passed as I sat in my driveway trying to figure out what had happened in Bella's yard. I ran my fingers through my hair for the hundredth time in the last five minutes. My hand finally reached over and opened the door, and I got out of my car. I felt like I was moving in slow motion as I walked into the living room and dropped onto the couch.

My thoughts and reactions to Bella had me completely confused. I had never had any feelings towards Bella other than a kid sister or a competitor. But today, she made my heart stutter, and my chest ache when she said she might not stay. Then she looked so beautiful laying there in the grass, and when she touched my leg she sent that shock through me. I leaned forward pinching the bridge of my nose. I couldn't understand the turmoil inside of me.

The sound of my front door opening brought me out of my thoughts.

"Edward?" Tanya's voice rang from the entry.

"I'm in the living room." I shouted from the couch.

Tanya was such a beautiful woman, she was smart, successful, and fun to be with. I knew she was waiting for me to propose, but I just wasn't ready. It's not that I was content being a bachelor, I just wanted my marriage to be forever, so I needed to be absolutely sure. I wasn't there yet. I was happy, she was good to me, but there was something missing. The best way I could describe our relationship was content, but shouldn't "til death do us part" be more than content?

Tanya sat next to me and leaned over kissing my neck. "Did you go to the gym this morning?"

"No, I went running. I'm trying to get back in shape. I should probably go take a shower." I started to get up, but Tanya didn't let go.

"Were you running by yourself?" she asked as a question, but I could tell it was her passive aggressive way of not accusing me.

"No, I ran with Bella Swan, you remember Alice's friend. She and I ran track together in high school, we were really competitive, and she really pushes me." I don't know why I had gone into a full explanation of why I ran with Bella.

"Should I be worried about you and Bella?" She would not even look at me, she just stared at her hands.

"Tanya," I lifted her chin to make her look me in the eye. "You have nothing to worry about. Bella is a really good family friend. She's been like a little sister to me since we were kids. You are who I want to be with."

Her eyes bored into mine. Then she gave me a half smile, that didn't reach her eyes. "Okay, you better hurry and take your shower. You need to take me to the airport in an hour." I leaned over kissed her, and then hurried up the stairs to the shower.

I spent longer than I normally did in the shower trying to get control of myself and my emotions. By the time I was drying myself off, I had everything figured out. The reason I reacted the way I did about her not moving here, was simply my disappointment that we had just become friends and she was going to be gone. Plus, I would also have to deal with Alice moping, when her best friend left again. My reaction to her in the yard had been normal. What man would not react to a beautiful woman, covered in sweat, breathing hard, and staring up at him. It was a completely normal reaction. The electric current was my discomfort from a woman other than my girlfriend touching me.

_See, Cullen, there is no problem. You have everything under control. You have never thought of Bella as anything more than a friend._

Tanya and I shared enjoyable conversation as I drove her to the airport. Tanya was going to Alaska for her annual girls retreat. Every year she and her sisters Irina and Kate go back to Alaska where they grew up and spend a week together.

We had checked her bags, and we were at the security check point holding hands. I turned and pulled her into my arms and kissed her passionately. With my lips at her ears I whispered, "I love you and I'm going to miss you."

She clung to me even tighter. "I love you too. I don't know why but I feel like everything's going to change while I'm gone." I saw tears start to pool in her eyes.

I held her face with my hands, and forced her to look into my eyes. "What are you talking about? Everything's going to be fine. You're only going to be gone a week. Nothing's going to change."

She buried her face back into my chest. This was unusual; Tanya was not dependent on me at all, and was usually not this emotional.

"I don't know. I just really don't want to leave you right now." I could tell she was uncomfortable, showing me her insecurities.

"Hey, you go have fun with your sisters, and then come back to me safely. Okay? Hey, you know how much you mean to me. I love you, Tanya."

Nodding her head, she sniffed her nose and wiped her eyes. She grabbed onto both sides of my face and kissed me fervently. As she pulled away her eyes were severe. "I love you. Don't get distracted while I'm gone." She was gone before I could ask her what she meant.

I didn't understand what she meant by "don't get distracted while I'm gone." I could tell this morning she was bothered by me running with Bella. I wondered if she was not as understanding about the kiss between Bella and me, as she had let me believe. I didn't think it was possible for her to be worried about me and Bella. I just let it go. I would not bring it up again; unless she did.

The next few days flew by. I worked sixty hours lasting just three days, covering for our other surgeon who was in California participating in a triathlon. I hadn't been able to run since Wednesday, I hadn't eaten anything that was not from a vending machine, and I had slept only a few hours on a hospital cot. I was ready for the week to be over. I was on my way to dinner at my parents, tomorrow I would work a normal shift, and then I would be able to spend the weekend with my nieces. That thought brought me a surge of excitement.

The driveway to my parent's house was full of cars. Everyone must be here already. As I sat there looking at my parent's house, I felt a longing for a family of my own. I wanted this every day. I wanted to pull up after a long day to house with all of its lights on, full of laughter, and people I loved. I dropped my head down to my steering wheel trying to imagine that life, and when it would happen.

The sound of squeals and giggling brought me from my thoughts.

I looked up to see the girls running to my car. I couldn't get out of my car fast enough. In seconds I had all three of them in my arms, heading into the house.

"Uncle Edward, I hit two homeruns yesterday," Emma reported with great pride.

"You are definitely playing on my team, next Cullen baseball game." I squeezed her tighter.

Mia was pulling on the neck of my shirt, "Uncle Edward, I can spell my name."

I gave her a teasing grin, "I don't think you can, tell me."

"Uh-huh. M-I-A. See, I told ya." I gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"What do you want to tell me, Isabel?" I looked into her big blue eyes.

"I love you, Uncle Edward." She leaned over and wrapped her arms around my neck. I felt my heart melt.

I leaned my head up against hers. "I love you too, little princess."

Standing at the top of the steps waiting for us was Jasper. His eyes were so expressive. He was happy, but I also saw something else, I think it was pity.

I'd reached the bottom of the steps and put the girls down. They turned and ran into the house.

Jasper watched as the girls ran past him, and then looked at me. "You would be even happier, if you got some of your own."

Jasper was so perceptive. He always knew what people were feeling. It was as if he knew exactly what I had been wishing for in the car. Desperately, I wanted to deny it. I wanted to tell him that I was content with my nieces and I didn't want that for myself. But Jasper would know better, it would be a useless act.

I just walked over to the porch swing and slumped into it. I answered him softly, "I know."

I felt him sit next to me on the swing. I put his hand on my shoulder in a brotherly way. Even though we weren't related yet, I felt like Jasper was already my brother. "What are you waiting for, Edward?"

A bark of a laugh escaped my mouth. "You make it sound simple."

"Are you going to marry Tanya?"

His question took me off guard. Nobody in my family had ever bothered to ask me that. The moment I had mentioned the thought to my mom everyone was waiting for the engagement. I was sure of Tanya at one point, but something changed. There was no doubt I loved Tanya. Nothing in the relationship had changed… except maybe me. My heart was telling me I wasn't going to marry her, but it also didn't want to let her go.

"I don't know what I'm going to do." I leaned over putting my face into my palms.

Jasper was quiet for a moment and then he let out a long breath. "You know when I decided to marry your sister; I didn't have to question it. I knew she was the only one that I wanted to be with. It was as if the rest of the female population failed to exist. I literally didn't even notice any other woman but her anymore. Do you feel that way about Tanya, Edward?"

I couldn't respond. I knew he already knew the answer. He was just trying to help me see it. I didn't notice other women, until Bella was back. I was just so confused. There were so many things that Bella made me feel friendship, magnetism, exhilaration, empathy, playfulness, exasperation, infatuation, eagerness, alive, and maybe…_NO!_ I had cleared my mind of the thought immediately. I had already gone through all of this earlier. She was just a really good friend. We have a lot of fun together, but there was nothing beyond that. I couldn't understand why everyone was feeling they needed to push Bella and me together, when I was happy with Tanya.

"Edward, do you notice Bella?"

I stood up quickly, "I notice Bella, but not in the way you think I do. She is just a really good friend."

Jasper stood up, his face was just inches from my own. "You tell yourself what you need to, but if you don't feel that way about Bella, how come sweating and I can hear your heart racing? Just something to think about, I think dinner is ready." Then he walked into the house.

He was wrong. I had already figured out my feelings about Bella the other morning, she and I were just friends. Not like acquaintances, but friends who had known each other all of their lives. I loved Bella like family, but I was not in love with her. Maybe an outsider could not see the difference.

"Edward, dinner is on the table," I heard mom call.

Everyone was already seated at the table waiting for me. Directly across from me was Bella and Charlie.

"Charlie, I didn't know you'd be here. It's good to see you. How are you feeling?"

"I feel great. Bella's been taking good care of me. It's been nice eating real food again," he smiled and then reached across the table for the salad.

Bella smiled, "Nice dad, is that all I'm good for, cooking for you?"

Without looking up from his dinner, he gave a mischievous smile. "No you're a great housekeeper too."

Everyone erupted into laughter, and Bella just shook her head with a slight smirk on her face.

Dinner was mostly a blur. Everyone wanted to know how Charlie was and how he felt being home. There was a lot of talk about Jasper and Alice's wedding, and the game mom, dad, Emmet, and Rose were headed to. The girls continued to tell me all about their weeks and what they wanted to do this weekend with me.

Everyone eventually congregated to the family room, the girls and I were playing on the floor, and everyone else sat around the couches.

I was busy helping Isabel count out her two blues in our Candy Land game, when the conversation shifted.

Charlie sat in a chair with Bella on the floor in front of him. He had reached down and patted her on the shoulder. "Did you all know that Bella is moving back here with me next week?" Charlie's smile was from ear to ear, he was ecstatic.

Alice let out a loud squeal and ran over and hugged Bella, "Oh, Bella, you'll be here for all of the wedding planning."

"I'm so happy you're coming home." Esme was elated.

Jasper, Emmet, and Rosalie all eyed me. I glared at all three but went back to my game, still listening to the conversation.

"Bella, what will happen with your job?" Carlisle asked being the logical one of the group.

"Actually, I talked to my boss yesterday, and they are going to let me stay with the company in California but I will deal with all the writers here in the northwest. I will have to travel to LA a lot, in fact I have a meeting there on Friday, and then a meeting with a client in Seattle on Monday. They are going to keep my busy, but it's not like I have anything else to occupy my time."

"So, when are you moving here?" Alice asked.

Charlie jumped in, "I'm going to fly down with Bella on Wednesday night and drive back with her."

Bella sat up and turned to face her dad. "No, Dad, you're not. You aren't in any condition to travel that much. I can do it by myself."

I tried to contain a laugh remembering our conversation about this during our run. My laugh ended up sounding like a snort. I looked up as the sound escaped my mouth, and if there was a look of death; Bella was giving it to me. I looked down and became very engrossed in our game again.

"That's insane, I'll go with you," Alice chimed in.

Jasper rested his hand on the small of Alice's back, "I'm sorry love, but I'm not comfortable with just the two of you driving either."

"Those are my thoughts exactly Jasper; that's why I wanted to go with Bella. She needs a man to be with her," Charlie stated firmly.

The second those last words came out of Charlie's mouth; I cringed waiting Bella's response.

"That is the most sexist thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth, Dad! I lived on my own for how many years now--" She sounded like she was ready for a full debate.

Esme, quickly tried to defuse the situation. "I know, Edward, why don't you go with her?"

I was waiting for the suggestion to come. I thought it would come from Alice or Jasper though. I knew I could take her. I had already checked my schedule after we had talked about it on our run. I knew if there was nobody else, then I would take her. I didn't like the thought of her going alone. There was no way I was going to take on her wrath and suggest it though. So, I sat there waiting for someone else to do it.

Bella jumped to her feet, "Why is everyone making plans for me and talking like I'm a ten year old? I can fly down, pack my stuff, and drive back here all by myself! There's not going to be some major catastrophe during one drive."

Charlie reached for her hand, "Bella it's not that we think you are incapable. It's just a long drive for someone to do alone. No matter how strong you are, there are crazy men out there looking for a single woman driving on deserted highways alone. Honey, I see things like this all the time out in the field, I just don't want it to be you." Her expression softened a little.

Bella looked defeated; she also looked like she might cry.

Without looking up I said, "Bella, I can take you it's not a big deal." I could hear all of the smiles around the room. I finally looked up at her, but she wasn't smiling.

She dropped to the ground. I wanted to laugh at her; she was a grown woman pouting. If we had been alone I so would have teased her about it.

"Bella, nobody is going to be comfortable with you going alone. I worked a lot of hours this week so I'm due for some time off. You'd be doing me a favor; I could go and visit some of my friends that live down there."

You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. Bella was obviously reluctant, and everyone else was waiting for her response.

"Fine, but you have to let me buy your plane ticket, and I'm driving." She crossed her arms across her chest, as if it were not up for negotiation. Did she not know me at all?

"I'll let you buy my plane ticket, we will split the driving, and I get to control the music." The smirk on my face just irritated her more, and I loved it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see everyone else in the room whipping there head back and forth between Bella and I as the negotiations took place.

"Fine," she surrendered. I had a feeling though that there were going to be many arguments about the driving and music throughout the trip.

The girls had quit the game during our conversation and were coaxing Grandpa for some candy. Now that the discussion was over, I headed into the kitchen to clean up.

My mom came in a couple of minutes later, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you son, that was very good of you to help Bella. Charlie is just not in any condition to make that trip. I know that you going with Bella, will make all of us so much more comfortable."

After the airport incident I wasn't sure Tanya would be okay with this at all. I had talked to her a couple of times since she left, and I think it made her happy I hadn't seen Bella since our run the day that Tanya had left. Somehow I didn't think she is going to smile and tell me to have a fun trip.

_This is not going to be good._

**Chapter Notes:** What do you think? Do you think Tanya believes him? Is Jasper right? Review, Review it is my own personal brand of heroine. I'm sorry to say it will be a couple of weeks before another chapter goes up, I'm moving Thursday. I might be motivated to leave some boxes unpacked and write instead if I got a lot of reviews.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author Notes:** Hi, friends. See, I didn't abandon you. I'm so sorry that it took me forever to get this chapter up. I had to move, get settled, and then I lost my momentum. I hope the chapter was worth the wait. I made it a little longer than all of my other chapters have been to try and make up for it. You are also going to get a BPOV and an EPOV.

Thanks to all of you loyal readers. It makes me so happy that you like my story. I love reading your reviews they make me so happy and I do respond to almost every single one. Thanks to all of my new readers. I hope you like the story and continue to read. Please, please review it motivates me to write faster.

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing Twilight, it all belongs to SM.

**Elephant in the Room**

**EPOV**

Completely frustrated, I slammed my phone shut and tossed it into my locker. Dr. Larsen had just informed me he would not be in for his shift this evening, which meant had to stay. Disappointment flooded me. I had been anticipating my night with my nieces all week, and now they would already be in bed by the time I got to their house. I had worked sixty hours during the week and Dr. McCarty had already taken off most of the week for his triathlon. My spirits had definitely been deflated.

Topping off my stress, I needed to call Bella to tell her I'd be late coming by to watch the girls. I let out a silent groan. She would have been watching the girls since two, and I probably wouldn't get there until nine. I wondered if she'd have to cancel any plans.

Slumping into the couch in the locker room, I began scrolling through my contact list. I hit send when I found Emmett and Rose's number. Reluctantly, I hit the send button. I leaned forward on my elbows, drug my fingers through my hair, and let out a long breath.

"Hello," Bella was winded and sounded like she'd been laughing. The image of her and my nieces playing together brought a smile to my face.

"Hey, Bella. You girls sound like you are having fun over there." I tried to work in the conversation lightly since she could've still been angry with me about the argument we'd had and her move from L.A.

She cleared her throat, and I could almost hear her sobering herself up. I smiled knowing I had predicted her response to me. I felt like I was really starting to know Bella. "Yup, we're having fun. What do you need?" Direct and to the point, I guessed I should get right to it.

"Well…I sort of have a problem…the doctor who was supposed to work tonight isn't back from vacation, so I'm going to have to stay at the hospital a while longer." My jaw flexed and my eyebrows furrowed waiting for her response.

She let out a huff. "How much longer?" I could just picture her with her hand on her hip, and tapping her foot on the ground.

I felt a little annoyed at the thought of her being annoyed by my nieces. "Why are the girls being a problem?"

"No, the girls are great. I just…I had plans for tonight."

"I'm sure Charlie can survive just fine without you for the evening." I chuckled.

"Charlie can handle himself just fine, but I have a date tonight." She spoke a little firmer this time.

Something rushed through me from her short statement, and I didn't like it. I was angry. I wasn't sure at what though. It could've been that I was stuck at the hospital and might not have anyone to watch the girls. It could've been my frustration with my colleague. It could've been the tone Bella had just taken with me. Or, I guess, it could've been that Bella was going on another date with who I assumed was that slime ball Jacob Black. I was really starting to hate that guy.

"Do you want me to try and find another baby sitter for the girls then?" I asked rather curtly.

There was a long silent pause.

"Bella?" I asked concerned.

She sighed. "No, its fine I'll stay. I'll have to make a phone call though."

Even though I knew the answer I had to ask. "Who's your date with?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but I was supposed to go to dinner with Jacob." She was definitely irritated with me.

Before I was able to use my filter, my mouth just spewed. "Good, I don't like the guy anyways." I immediately squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose, and awaited her wrath.

"Are you kidding me, Edward? You're lucky I love these little girls or else I wouldn't be helping you out right now. How dare you make a judgment on my friend, you arrogant jerk?" She was furious with me and, to be honest, I couldn't blame her.

With my tail tucked between my legs I muttered, "You're right, I'm sorry. Can I bring dinner for you on my way home?" I knew she would say no.

"Absolutely not, I'm still going out with Jacob, it will just have to be a little later. Is there anything else you needed? If not I really need to get going," she spat with venom in her voice.

"No, that was it. I'll be there at nine." I really wanted to hang up first but she beat me to it, she had hung up as soon as I said nine.

Between my colleague, Bella, and Dr. Black I felt anger pumping through me instead of blood. I stood up from the couch and walked out of the lounge to make my rounds. I knew this was going to be a long night. I hoped it didn't end with me wringing Bella's neck.

Five long hours later I was pulling up to Emmett's house. The house looked dark and empty from the outside. I felt myself get a little nervous, wondering if something was wrong. I ran up to the door quicker than I normally would have. I shoved my key into the door and barged into the house. It was silent. I felt my heart accelerate. I flipped on the entry way light and walked towards the living room. The room was empty. Where was Bella? I ran up the flight of stairs in five strides.

I opened the first door in the hall way, it was Emma and Mia's room. Both girls were sound asleep in bed. I felt myself calm a little, but not completely--there were still two more people I needed to see first. I gently pulled their blankets up and kissed them each on the forehead. Silently, I pulled their door closed again.

The next door I needed to reach was in my line of vision. I hurried to open the door; the sight before me caused my heart to go from racing to a stutter, and accelerate again. I felt my shoulders drop and my eyebrows relax. I was having déjà vu, in the corner of Isabel's room was Bella fast asleep in the rocking chair with Isabel snuggled into her chest. I had seen this before, Bella holding a baby against her in a rocking chair and me walking into the room to find her.

My face was filled with a smile and heat spread through my body. What I felt in that moment was so familiar. I t was so much like what I felt when I kissed her that night at my parent's house, or the day I saw her playing with the girl's at my mom's house, or the other morning when we her in her yard after our run. The best word I could think of to describe the feeling was…_bliss_.

My body pressed into the door way as I watched the girl's for a bit.

The sound of Bella's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

She sighed, "Jacob."

I felt a pain in the pit of my stomach. So many images ran through my head in that moment. I saw Tanya's sad eyes at the airport looking at me. I saw Bella lying on the grass, looking up at me. I saw Bella standing in her living room with Jacob just behind her. I saw Bella's face as I pulled away from our kiss.

My emotions were completely out of control and I needed to get a hold of myself before I lost everything. Everything was fine in my life until Bella was here. Suddenly I felt like everything could shatter at any minute.

I knew what had to be done to fix this.

**BPOV**

The last thing I remember was rocking Isabel to sleep and then the next was Edward waking me by taking Isabel out of my arms and laying her in her crib. I quickly stood up and laid a blanket over her. I stared at the sweet girl lying in the crib, and longing for the day I would have my own. I looked over to Edward he was looking at me and we held eye contact for a moment, and I reluctantly smiled. A look of anger came over his face, and then he turned and left the room. I was confused, wasn't I the one who should be mad at him. As I followed him down the stairs, neither of us said a word. I felt my irritation from our earlier conversation returning. He was obviously irritated with me and I had no idea why. He wouldn't have been this angry because I hung up on him, or maybe he was mad because he has to drive with me to L.A this week.

When Edward got to the bottom of the stairs he turned to me with his arms crossed over his chest. He refused to look me in the eye. "Did everything go okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Are you okay?" I asked, leaning toward him so he would look at me.

"Everything's great, well you can take off whenever you want. Don't you have plans?" He turned and headed for the living room.

My mouth wanted to scream every four letter word in the book at him but I stayed in control. I had just changed my plans to help Edward out of his situation with the girls and now he is going to be a complete jerk? I was starting to think that Edward just needed to be smacked around. "Yes I do, and he's probably waiting for me." Edward slowed his step, and a smile spread across my face. "I'll see you later." I spun on my heel and hurried out the door.

Hurrying to the car, I pulled my cell phone from my purse. It was already nine thirty. I wouldn't be surprised if Edward was gone later just to ruin my night with Jacob. I hoped Jacob wasn't going to cancel. I really didn't understand why those two didn't like each other.

As I sat there listening to the line ring. On the fourth ring I was really getting worried I had blown things…No, _I_ hadn't blown anything, Edward had done this. Ugh, just when I'd started to give Edward the benefit of the doubt he turned into the old Edward I despised.

"Talk to me Goose?" I heard a deep voice answer.

I started to laugh. "Are you seriously quoting Top Gun? You are such a dork." I felt so at ease with Jacob. I could say whatever I was thinking, and apparently so could he.

He was chuckling on the other end, too. "What are you talking about chicks love that Maverick guy?"

"Jake, I hate to break it to you, but one, you are not Maverick, never could be. Two, that movie is like twenty years old." I had a huge grin on my face, teasing Jacob was so comfortable.

"You remembered it didn't you, and I might add I'm way sexier than Maverick, he's just a little guy."

He was right, I did remember the line as soon as he said it and from what I could tell through his clothes he could give Tom Cruise a run for his money. "Are we going to talk about some movie or hang out?"

"Oh, is that all this is, hanging out?" He tried to sound offended.

"I'm currently sitting here in a drive way a hundred yards from Edward Cullen until you tell me where I'm going. So, I'd really appreciate you telling me what we're doing." I'm sure he could sense my annoyance. I really wanted to get as far from Edward as possible right now.

"Meet me at your house and I'll drive us to where we're going. I'll be there in ten minutes." All I heard was dial tone. I couldn't decide if his domineering attitude was a turn on or a turn off, but I closed my phone and hurried home.

When I pulled into Charlie's driveway Jacob was waiting for me in his truck. I couldn't help the smile that rose on my face. I felt nervous but not like I did the night of our first date. I locked my car and hurried over to get into Jacob's old orange truck.

As I slid into the passenger seat, I looked over at Jacob. He was twisted in his seat with one arm over the steering wheel and the other over the back of the seat, his contagious smile spread across his face. "Hey there, you look really pretty tonight." He handed me a single orchid he had laying on the middle of the seat.

Crimson immediately filled my face. No man had ever given me a flower before. "Thank you twice." I started to put on my seat belt and from the corner of my eye I saw him watch me before he did the same. "So, what are we doing tonight?"

He was backing out of the driveway, with a smile still on his face. That was one of the things that drew me to Jacob he was always happy. He never seemed angry or sad, like he was happy just to be alive.

"Would you be opposed to hanging out with some of my friends tonight?"

"That would be fine," I said out loud, but inside I was a little reluctant. I was never one for crowds and add in the fact that I wouldn't know anyone except Jacob, whom I didn't even know that well. I was feeling a little nervous. "What are we going to do with your friends?"

"They are having a bonfire down at the beach in La Push, you know roasting hot dogs telling ghost stories, nothing too exciting." He shrugged; seeming as if it were no big deal to bring someone he had only been on one date with to meet all of his friends. Maybe it was just me, this wasn't a big deal, it was just a part of my awkwardness.

Jacob told me funny stories about some of the friends I was going to meet at the beach. Our conversation was easy and the time passed quickly. I felt like we'd just left my dad's driveway when we stopped at the beach.

Jacob opened his door and I felt the cold seep through the truck, and I started to shiver. I pushed my door open and the frigid air hit me like a wall. As I reluctantly stepped out of the truck Jacob was there holding out a jacket for me.

"Thanks." I looked up and realized he was not wearing a jacket. "Hey, don't you need this?"

"Nah, I'm always hot. I could be out here barefoot and in a pair of cut off sweats and I wouldn't be cold." I squinted at him to see if he was telling the truth. He really didn't look cold at all. I instantly felt like a wuss.

Jacob reached out for my hand. "Come on, let's go." I looked down at his hand hesitantly. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hold his hand or not. I really liked Jacob, but I wasn't sure in what way and I didn't want to lead him on.

He didn't wait for me to respond, he reached over and grabbed my hand and pulled me along. Strangely, it felt very comfortable having his large, warm hand wrapped around mine. I wouldn't mind this for tonight.

Jacob introduced me to everyone around the camp fire. The group mostly consisted of all the guys that Jacob had grown up with and their significant others. They spent the majority of the evening reminiscing on the days of old and what they had planned for the next weekend. They seemed like the kind of guys that still hadn't left their glory days. Jacob seemed to be the only one that had left his past and done something with his life. Not that I was judging any of his friends, I just wasn't really sure how Jacob still fit in with these people.

Not sure of how I could participate in their conversations, I mostly just stayed quiet and kept to myself. I think Jacob sensed my discomfort.

He nudged my shoulder. "Hey, you want to take a walk?"

Pushing aside my initial reaction to jump up and scream thank you, I just nodded my head. "Yeah."

We walked side by side down the beach in silence. I had my hands shoved deep in my jacket trying to keep warm. We had walked far enough down the beach that we didn't hear his friends anymore. Jacob walked over to an old, white tree stump lying on its side and motioned for me to sit.

"I'm not sure if I should sit, I might freeze to death if I do."

He gave me a mischievous smirk and sat down. "Come on I'll keep you warm."

"I see some of your old glory stories have made you a little confident this evening." I glared at him. I hated that I was always confused about how to respond to Jacob's invitations.

"Just sit down. I'm harmless."

"I don't know if I buy that. It sounds like you and your friends were nothing but a pack of wolves not so long ago." I gave him a friendly smirk and sat down next to him.

"We were, but I'm not that kid anymore, I've grown up a little." There almost seemed to be sadness in his eye, and I wanted to take that away from him.

"Yeah, I noticed that you seemed to be in a different place than your friends."

He shifted in his seat so he was looking at me. He suddenly seemed very serious. "My dad was in an accident when I was a kid and it left him in a wheelchair. When I saw what the doctors did for him, I knew then that I wanted to do something to help improve other people's lives. So I made school a priority, I studied hard during the week, but still ran with those guys on the weekends and during the summers. When I got accepted into medical school those guys were just as proud of me as my dad. They're family. My family didn't really have much money, and they would all anonymously send me money at the beginning of every semester. So, while I know they sound lame they're still my family and I love them." He shrugged and kicked some sand around with his foot.

My heart filled with admiration for this man, who was so loyal. I felt guilty for judging his friends so horribly. "That's admirable Jacob. I respect the fact that you don't hold yourself above others because of your occupation. Most people in the world think that's all that matters." I tilted my head to the side and made eye contact with him and smiled.

Jacob let out a quick breath and turned away. "Speaking of occupation, have you talked to your boss about moving here yet?"

"I did actually. My boss is totally willing to let me work here, dealing with the clients in the northwest. I'll have to travel to see clients and down to L.A. for meetings a lot, but it will work." I shrugged my shoulders, smiling at him as I watched his own smile spread across his face.

"That's great, so when will you make the big move?"

"I'm flying out Wednesday morning. I have a meeting on Friday and will probably be back by Sunday. I meet with my first client in Port Angeles on Monday."

A look of concern crossed his face. "You're not going alone are you?"

"Why does everyone think I'm incapable of doing this alone?" I huffed.

He raised his hands up at me in a defensive pose. "Wow, are we being a little sensitive? It's not because I think you're incapable. I wouldn't want to pack up my apartment, get it all into a moving truck, and drive it fifteen hundred miles all by myself. That's all I was saying."

"Well, my dad and our friends seem to think I'm incapable of doing it by myself."

"Or maybe you took it the wrong way and they meant it like I did." He rested a hand on my knee and when I looked up at him he gave me a knowing smirk.

I glared at him. "Zip it! I can be mad if I want to. Anyways, they all attacked me insisting I couldn't go alone. So to make my father happy and prevent him from having another heart attack, I'm taking an escort. I really just want to sneak off in the night and do this by myself." I didn't take a single breath during that rant.

Jacob was laughing at me, I'm sure I was starting to sound like a child throwing a tantrum. "So, who's going with you?"

My eyes darted from Jacob's face. I wasn't sure how exactly he was going to respond. I knew that Jacob and Edward weren't exactly fond of each other, and I wasn't sure what Jacob was thinking in terms of a relationship between us. "Um…Edward Cullen is going with me."

Jacob let out a loud, slow breath and looked out into the water. "Edward Cullen huh. I thought you hated that guy?" Jacob's voice and face were so calm, but I could see his fists clenching.

"I don't hate Edward, we grew up together. He drives me insane, like an older brother, but really the Cullen's are like family to me. His mom asked him to do it. She worries about me just as much as Charlie." I leaned over trying to get him to look at me again.

His eyes met mine. "Why didn't you ask me to go with you?" This was a new side of Jacob he'd been playful and cocky with me, but never serious and gentle like this.

I cleared my throat. "Because I've only known you a couple of weeks. This is only our second date. Hey, for all I know you might turn into a werewolf at night." I gave his shoulder a small shove and giggled.

"I know you're right…that we aren't in that place yet. But, I'm going to risk suffering your little temper and say that I don't like it." He turned and stared right into my eyes. He wasn't challenging me, but I felt like he was trying to communicate something with me and I wasn't sure what it was.

I sat a little straighter, staring right back at him. "You don't have to."

It was quiet for a couple of minutes. For the first time since he and I had left the group, I really noticed how cold it was. I let a noticeable shiver go, and shoved my hands further into my pockets.

"Maybe we should go." He stood up, and I followed his lead. We had barely gone a couple of yards and he stopped and turned to me. "I'm really sorry for my reactions there Bella. It's not my place. I just…I really like you a lot. You're not like every other woman I meet. You're smart, beautiful and you love to try and put me in my place. It just made me feel really…jealous…that you are going to be spending all of that time with Edward. I'm sorry."

My jaw was hanging wide open. I hadn't expected that complete and utter honesty. I felt his gaze intensifying and realized I needed to speak, but I wasn't sure what I wanted to say. I wished I could solve my intimacy issues.

Jacob reached out and took my hand again, "Am I forgiven?"

"Yeah, I guess. Since you called me beautiful, I'll get past your macho moment." I winked at him.

We hurried back to the car and enjoyed our quick drive back to Charlie's. We made more plans for the charity event, and he said he wanted to call me when I got back from L.A.

As soon as Jacob turned into Charlie's driveway I told him he didn't need to walk me to the door and that I would call him when he got back. I could tell that he wanted to kiss me. I knew I wasn't ready, but I wanted him to know I was interested. I hurried and kissed him on the cheek and quickly slid out of his truck. As I hurried to the door I knew he was probably disappointed, but he had no idea what a big step that was for me to initiate a kiss with him in any form.

I spent the next three days preparing for my move. There was so much to do trying to get rid of my lease and utilities, booking a moving truck, setting up appointments with clients, renting a storage unit, and getting the house ready and stocked for Charlie.

While I was packing for my flight to L.A. the next day, my thoughts, not my anger towards Edward continued to fester. Edward had not made any contact with me since Saturday night. He didn't even show up for any of our runs during the week. I had left him a message on Sunday giving him our flight information, and he never called back to confirm that he had gotten the message, or that he was still going. I knew something was wrong on Saturday, but I wasn't sure what happened to make him completely avoid me. I knew I needed to call him, but I didn't want to. I needed to see if he was still going. A huge part of me was angry, I wanted to go over to the hospital and pretend he was a punching bag, but the weaker part of me was feeling like that girl that was rejected by Edward all those years ago. I moved my suitcase to the ground and dropped down onto my bed. I reached for my phone on the nightstand and called Edward. I was fully prepared for him to not answer and I was going to leave a really nasty message on his voice mail, but he picked up on the second ring.

"Hello," his velvety voice said.

I cleared my throat and sat up in my bed. "Edward, this is Bella."

"I know, what's up?" It was like he was monotone. He didn't sound angry with me, but he didn't sound happy to talk to me either. His mood swings were giving me whip lash.

"Um…I was calling to see if you had gotten my message earlier this week? I hadn't seen or heard from you since Saturday, I thought maybe you had disappeared." I didn't know how, but my anger was quickly diminishing the longer I had him on the phone. I didn't realize how much my mood towards him was influenced by his mood until now.

"Yeah, sorry I didn't call you back. I've been working a lot and trying to take care of some personal stuff before the trip." Again with the no emotion, he sounded like he was reading from a script.

"So…you are still planning on going?"

"Yeah," his short answers would have made me think he was mad, but he didn't sound angry.

"Okay, do you want me to pick you up tomorrow? I've got to drive so I can finally return this rental car."

He hesitated a few seconds before answering. "Tanya is getting back in a couple of hours; she has been out of town for a week. She'll probably want to take me. I'll just meet you there."

"That's fine; I'll see you on the plane tomorrow. Bye." I hung up before he could answer me. I kept hanging up on him. I knew it was childish, but somehow it made me feel better.

I had a feeling this was going to be a really long trip.

**EPOV**

It was hard to spot Tanya in the busy airport. There were so many people bustling around me. Finally, I spotted her coming down the escalator. I felt excitement over take me. I pushed past the crowd until I reached her.

"I missed you so much," I said as I pulled her into my arms. It had been a week since I saw or spoke to her. This was a bitter sweet reunion for me. I was anxious to see the woman I loved, but I was dreading telling her about my trip to L.A. in the morning.

"Edward, your arms around me is what I've been aching for all week. I wanted to call you but you know the whole girls only weekend, no contact with our men rule. I really missed you." She held onto my neck and kissed me with everything she had.

I crushed her body to mine and wound my fingers through her hair. This kiss felt good, she felt good in my arms, she warmed my heart, but for some reason I felt like there should be more. I wanted to ache when she was away, I wanted to feel a magnetic pull towards her, and I wanted not to think so logically about our relationship. I really wanted this to work. Ever since Saturday, I hadn't seen or talked to Bella. I knew this would help Tanya feel better about the situation, and I would hopefully quit having all of these confusing emotions.

"Hey, let's grab your bags, and get home." I reached for her hand and pulled her to the luggage carrousel.

My nerves relaxed during our drive home and throughout our dinner. It started to feel like we had when we first started dating. Tanya told me all about her trip and what was going on with her sisters. I whined about how much I had to work while she was gone, and told her about all of the fun I had with my nieces. We kissed, we touched, and we gazed into each other's eyes. The comfort I felt with Tanya reminded me of how great we were before Bella came back into my life and threw everything off balance. This was confirming that I made the right decision for me to break all contact with Bella for a while. I knew it was making Tanya happy that Bella had not been mentioned, and my feelings for Tanya felt so clear again.

We arrived at Tanya's house. I followed her to her bedroom and she began unpacking her bags. "So, how is running going?"

I walked over to the opposite side of the bed as her and sat down on the edge of her bed and turned towards her. "Actually, I haven't been running since you left."

Her eyes darted up to mine; it was like she was searching my eyes for something. She grabbed some clothes from her suitcase and walked to her closet. "Why's that?" Her back was to me so I couldn't read her face.

"Well, I've been really busy at the hospital and I knew you were uncomfortable with it." I leaned down on my side putting my weight onto my forearm, trying to see her in her closet.

"Edward…I really…overreacted last week about all of the Bella stuff. I told you I trusted you and I do. I don't know what came over me at the airport." I wished she would come out of the closet so I could see her face.

I knew that I needed to tell her about the trip I was leaving for tomorrow. I had been dreading this all week. "Tanya, come here babe, we need to talk about something." My voice was a little more serious and nervous than I intended it to sound.

Tanya peeked out around the corner; I saw fear in her eyes. I reached my hand out for her lying back onto the pillows. "Come here, come lay with me."

Reluctantly she moved her feet towards the bed. Timidly, she crawled across the bed and lay in my arms. I pulled her body tightly against mine. She rested her hand and head on my chest. I reached up and ran my fingers through her long strawberry blonde hair.

She tilted her head to look up at me. "What's wrong, Edward?"

I looked right into her eyes. "Nothing…I'm leaving tomorrow for a short trip and I'll be back on Sunday." I continued to stroke her hair and back with my fingertips.

"Do you have another medical conference?" I felt her relax further into my body.

"No, I am doing my mother a favor." I tried to speak as calm and casual as I could. "I'm going down to L.A. with Bella to help her pack and then drive her back up to Forks." I felt Tanya immediately tense up in my arms.

I began to speak quickly reassuring her. "Bella's dad is in no condition to make the trip, and it's not safe for her to do that drive alone, plus she wouldn't be able to move all of her furniture."

She was quiet for a couple of moments. "Couldn't anyone else go or can't she hire a moving company?"

"The only other person that offered was Alice, and she's not really beneficial for the move or drive. I don't think Bella can afford to pay a moving company. Tanya, I didn't volunteer for this…my mom asked me to do this. Bella is like family and I can't let her do this alone."

"Edward," she whispered.

"Yes?"

"Do you love me?" her voice was trembling.

I thought about how much I loved her, "Yes." I pulled her into me even tighter.

"Do you love Bella?" I thought she might be crying again.

I took a minute to really think before I answered I wanted to be sure and to be honest. "Not the way I love you. I've known Bella my whole life, I have a lot of memories with her, and she is a good person, but I'm not in love with her. Bella and I have never had romantic feelings for each other. Did you know that Bella is seeing Jacob Black?" She shook her head, "I won't go if you ask me not to."

Tanya's hand slid from my chest, around my waist. "No, what would she do? I couldn't do that to anyone. I trust you, Edward. I just wish it was not the morning after I got back. Are you going to stay tonight?"

"No, I need to go home and pack. We're going to have to leave early. My flight leaves Seattle at noon."

Her head shot up to look at me. "I can't take you, Edward; I have to meet with clients all morning. I'm sorry."

My thumb rubbed along her cheek bone, "It's alright. I'll just have to call Bella and see if she can pick me up. I need something to drink, you want anything?"

"Nah, I'm going to jump in the shower and then I will meet you back here." She pulled my face to hers, lacing her fingers through my hair. I grabbed her waist and pulled her on top of me. I kissed her passionately until she pulled away from me. "Go get your water and I'll meet you here after my shower."

I smiled at her and kissed her one last time before she disappeared into the bathroom.

On my way to the kitchen, I grabbed my cell phone. I dialed Bella's number and started getting a glass of water. My hands were trembling. I was terrified to talk to her. Things were so good with Tanya tonight, and all of my confusion and chaos in my brain had vanished since I had removed Bella from my life. Fear took over as I thought of what could happen when I let her back in.

"Hello?" she sounded groggy, like she had been asleep.

"Bella, did I wake you?" It was only nine-thirty; could I have woken her up?

"Um…it's okay…I um…fell asleep reading a book." She coughed clearing her throat. "What do you need?"

"I thought Tanya would be able to take me to the airport but she's meeting with clients in the morning. Would you be able to pick me up still?" I hoped the reluctance in my voice didn't hurt her feelings.

"No, that's fine. I'll be there at seven-thirty. I'll see you tomorrow." I could tell she was trying to spit it out and hang up on me. This seemed to be a regular thing from her now.

"Bella, wait." I listened to make sure she hadn't hung up on me. When I could hear her breathing I let out a deep breath. "Thank you, Bella. I'm sorry for my behavior the last week."

There was silence on the line. "Bella…you still there?"

"Yeah, it's late. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Good night."

**Chapter Notes**: So next chapter is the road trip. I wonder will someone get left on the side of the road, will they elope to Vegas, become friends, or will someone end up in a body bag? The chapter after that is the gala. Oooh, big events are on the horizon. Show me some love and leave a review. I would be ever so grateful. You know what, I bet the more reviews I get, the more motivated I will be to get the next chapter up fast.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything Twilight it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Author Notes: **Well, I think you are in for a treat this chapter. This is some serious Bella and Edward time. Reading all of their interactions gets me all giddy inside.

I have to give a shout out to Fanreader3, for starting up a thread for Change of Heart over at Twilighted. You all need to go over and check it out. The link is at the end of the chapter.

Big hugs and kisses to GinnyW and ShabbyApple who are the best betas ever.

**Truce**

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have reached our cruising altitude of thirty thousand feet. I've turned off the seatbelt light and you're free to move about the cabin. You may now use your approved portable electronics." As the words echoed through the cabin I leaned over and began digging through my bag for my iPod. "We should land in Los Angeles in about two hours. Conditions are mild, with clear skies and temperatures about seventy five degrees. Enjoy your flight and thanks for choosing to fly with Delta."

I placed my ear buds in my ears and hit the shuffle button. I always felt excitement pushing the shuffle button, anticipating which of my many favorite songs would play for me. So many times it would eerily be a song that was perfect for what I was going through at that moment. I waited to see if that would be the case today.

"_I must have sneezed  
On knees I freeze  
I mean I just choked up  
Somehow I slept  
I dream, I mean  
I dreamt of nothing  
Able to breathe  
A sweet relief  
Now that you're here with me  
A northern degree  
Dove into me  
Now I'm recovering."_

A smile spread across my face. Blue October was one of my favorite bands, and throw in the fact that I was going to try and be on my best behavior towards Edward on the trip, "Ugly Side" was a perfect song.

I closed my eyes, pushed my head further back into my seat and without thinking about it I shoved Edward's elbow off of the arm rest to make room for my own. I started to smirk, but quickly scrunched my eyebrows and scolded myself remembering the pep talk I had given myself on the way to pick up Edward this morning, to be nice.

Edward could drive me absolutely crazy, and sometimes his mood swings towards me were worse than a hormonal woman. However, he was doing me a huge favor by coming to help me, even though I would never admit to anyone that I needed it. I wondered if the things he did would still drive me crazy, if I wasn't trying to shield my feelings from him twenty-four-seven. He didn't deserve my wrath if that was the reason behind it. I'd convinced myself to be on my best behavior, let the little things slide, try to be less sarcastic, and show my gratitude towards him. So far it had been fairly easy; neither of us had really spoken two words to each other than what was necessary. Hopefully Edward wouldn't test my limits too badly.

Trying to push Edward from my mind, I turned up the volume on my iPod.

"_I only want you to see  
My favorite part of me  
And not my ugly side  
Not my ugly side."_

My eyes opened, when I felt Edward shaking beside me. I looked over to find him holding his stomach with one hand and his mouth with the other hand, and his whole body shaking. I hoped he wasn't going to throw up on me.

"Are you okay?" I asked pulling out one of my ear buds.

He looked in my direction and uncovered his mouth and I realized he was laughing. "Are you a big Blue October fan?"

I tilted my head to the side and squinted my eyes at him, "Yeah, why?"

His roar of laughter exploded, "Because you just serenaded the whole plane the chorus of 'Ugly Side.'"

As my head lifted to see the other passengers of the plane, my eyes grew about five times their normal side. Everyone that I could see was either staring at me, laughing, or giving me a sympathetic look. The heat in my face suddenly felt as if I were on fire.

Immediately, I started to unbuckle my seatbelt. I was going to go hide in the bathroom the rest of the flight. My hands pushed off of the arm rests to leave when Edwards hand surrounded my wrist, pulling me back down.

Edward tried to sober himself up a little. "Bella, it's okay. Don't be embarrassed. It was really cute actually."

My stomach did a little flip. _Traitor stomach._

"How loud was I and how much did I sing?" I asked nervously, totally aware that his hand was still around my wrist.

"Pretty loud. How loud do you have the volume on that thing? You pretty much sang the whole chorus. But at least it was a great song."

I shifted in my seat, and Edward looked down at his hand still around my wrist and quickly removed it. "I should've known not to listen to music on the plane. I tend to sing along a lot and loudly, just like I know not to sleep with other people in the room because I talk in my sleep."

Edward scowled a little. "Yeah, I know."

"What! You've heard me talk in my sleep?"

He was smirking at me again. "Yup, and now I've heard you sing loudly on a plane. Do you have any other embarrassing traits I should watch for?"

"Shut up. When have you heard me talk in my sleep?" I was suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious around him.

"All the time when you and Alice were kids and you would sleep in the family room for sleep over's. The whole family has heard you, but Esme threatened our lives if we ever made fun of you. You also did it the other night when you were watching the girls."

"What did I say?"

"Like I said, Esme threatened our lives and while I'm a grown man, I still fear my mother."

I just smiled at him and sat quietly for a couple of minutes, thinking about all of the nights I'd spent with Alice growing up. Alice was the only close friend I had growing up. Sometimes I would pretend we were sisters. I had always wanted a sibling, and from what I witnessed with Emmett and Edward I knew I didn't want a brother. I would never be able to repay Alice for all that she did for me throughout our lives. I sat up in my seat and turned towards Edward. "But what did I say the other night?"

Annoyance crossed his face. "I don't remember."

"You're lying. I know when you're lying." I tried to sound as stern as possible. "What did I say?"

"You said '_Jacob_.'" Then he turned in his seat, and started reading his book again.

"Oh," I turned back in my seat and stared at the tray table in front of me. For some reason it was uncomfortable that he heard me say Jake's name. I could feel there was a definite tension between us again. Was that why he had been so awful to me that night at Rose and Emmett's? I couldn't think about any of that anymore. If I did it would make me confused again, and make it very hard for me to continue to be nice to him. I leaned back into my seat and tried to get some sleep.

Three hours later, we were walking into my apartment. It seemed so bright after being in Forks for the past few weeks. It also seemed so new and clean, compared to Charlie's very outdated home. Edward had stayed unusually quiet for the duration of the flight and cab ride to my place. I just followed his lead and kept quiet. There was no point in pushing a conversation if he didn't want to talk.

I dropped my bags and headed over to open my sliding glass door. "Wow it's really stuffy and hot in here."

Edward dropped his bag onto the floor. "That's what happens when nobody lives here for a couple of weeks." He walked over and sat on the couch. Running his fingers through his hair he scoped out my apartment. "Where do you want to start?"

"Wow, I guess it was smart of me to bring you along since you're already ready to work." I winked at him without thinking, and I felt the blush rise up my face. I cleared my throat and tried to pretend I hadn't just done that. "I was thinking we could go get some boxes, start packing, and then maybe take a run on the beach before dinner. Does that sound okay with you?"

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, whatever you need, that's what I'm here for."

We spent four hours packing, and I was completely tired of it already. I absolutely detested packing. Deciding what is important to keep, what can go to Goodwill, what is going to stay in boxes, what will get unpacked, and the inevitable junk box that is full of all the stuff you don't know what to do with.

Edward and I were sitting on the floor packing boxes when I'd decided I'd had enough for our first day. "I'm done packing for the day, and besides it's going to get dark soon. You want to go run on the beach?"

He fell down onto his back, leaving his knees bent towards the ceiling. "Are we going to run on the actual sand? I'm so out of shape," he whined.

Standing up, I turned away from him. "Huh, I didn't peg you for a wuss." The corner of my mouth started to rise as I looked back at him.

Edward rolled his eyes, and stood up. "Whatever, I'm not a wuss. I've never been one to fall into peer pressure either. Nice try though." He smiled and sat on the couch, making himself comfortable.

"Well, I'm going to go change." I spun on my heel and headed to my bedroom. As I closed the door I heard him groan. I was willing to bet my salary he was going to run with me.

I grabbed my black Nike Capri pants, black racer back tank, and a thong and got dressed. I looked myself in the mirror while I pulled my hair into a ponytail, and realized how ghostly pale I had gotten just from the last couple of weeks being in Forks. I've never been one to go and lay out, but I was always able to get some sun running every day. That was one of the things I'd missed about L.A. while I'd been in Forks.

Carrying my shoes, I swung my bedroom door open, and there in the middle of my living room was Edward wearing only a pair of boxer briefs. My eyes moved with their own accord, starting at his ankles and working their way up to his face. In even in my wildest fantasy, I couldn't imagine a more beautiful creature then what stood before me. How on earth could he possibly think he's out of shape? When my eyes finally reached his face our eyes met, and I don't know who was redder, me or him. There was something in his eyes I couldn't understand, something beyond embarrassment. He grabbed his shorts off of the top of his bag and started to put them on. I realized how long I had been standing there admiring him and I promptly turned around and covered my eyes, wishing that I were lost in a deep dark hole.

"Umm. I'm so sorry. I thought you weren't going to run with me."

"Ugh. It's alright," he stammered uncomfortably. "Nothing you haven't seen before, right?" Then Edward forced out a chuckle. Little did he know, I hadn't really seen men in their underwear, unless I got to count magazine and television? Seeing Edward like this made me realize that I was definitely missing out on something. "I'm sorry. I thought I could get changed before you came out. I'm dressed, you can turn around now." I couldn't believe how calmly he was speaking. I would have been mortified if I was him, but I also knew I didn't have the body of a Greek God like he did. He had to be confident in how he looked.

Keeping my eyes zeroed in on the ground, I walked over to the couch and put on my running shoes. I felt the couch dip as he sat next to me to put on his shoes. I could see his knees and calves in my peripheral vision, but all I saw in my head was Edward in his underwear.

I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head trying to escape the vision. "You ready to go." I got up and walked towards the door.

I heard a soft chuckle behind me. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear it or not. "Yeah, let's go get this over with."

Every step I took on the sand made the fire in my calves intensify. It had been too long since I ran on sand. I could only imagine what Edward was feeling. "Hey do you want to head up to the path, I'm sure you're legs are dying."

"Hah, I don't think I'm the only one that's dying right now. Admit it, the only reason you've lasted this long is to try and out do me, or destroy me."

"Fine, my legs are done. And I could destroy you without thinking about it if I wanted to," I challenged him.

We both just started to laugh and headed up to the pathway that led from Santa Monica Pier to Venice Beach. We ran in silence for a while, mostly trying to allow our bodies recover. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward take his shirt off and tuck it into the back of his shorts. Of course this triggered the underwear image in my head. I tried every trick I could come up with to erase that image out of my head, but sadly, nothing was working. I thought if maybe we were talking, it would help distract my thoughts.

My mouth ran away with me and I blurted out the first question that came to my mind. "Why do you and Jacob not like each other?" This was a question that had weighed on my mind a lot, but I never thought it was my business.

"I don't know…" His voice trailed off for a moment and I thought that was all I was going to get out of him until he said, "Jacob and Tanya dated for a long time before I moved here. They were actually engaged and then she just didn't feel good about it so she broke it off. Jacob was still in love with her and I guess you could say I was Tanya's rebound. He confronted me on the issue and asked me to stop dating her. I told him I would stop dating her if that's what _she_ wanted. That didn't go over real well with him. He always had a snide remark for me after that, he also continued to try and win Tanya back and that was kind of the breaking point for me. Lately, though, he just really angers me. Just the sight of him gets me seeing red, and I don't know what changed." He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know I just don't like him."

"I didn't know that he and Tanya dated." That would also explain Jacob's feelings. I wondered if Jacob was over Tanya yet. I felt a surge of insecurity rush through me. Wow, this woman held the hearts of both men I'd ever really been interested in. "Do you think he's over her?" I barely mumbled, staring at the pavement.

"What!" He stopped running. He grabbed my shoulders turning me to face him. "Bella, it's been a year since then. I'm sure he's over her. He really seems to like you a lot." He lifted my chin with his finger to look in my eyes. "You're crazy to think you have anything to worry about."

"Thanks." I wanted to keep running because I could feel my uncertainty causing tears to well in my eyes. Jacob had been a huge confidence booster for me and it would destroy me to know I was a 'Poor Man's Tanya.' I turned to continue our run and thankfully, Edward didn't bring it up again.

We spent all of Thursday packing and taking care of all my loose ends. By Thursday night we had everything packed and ready for the moving truck the next day. Surprisingly, packing wasn't so bad after all. Edward and I spent the time singing along with music, and making fun of each others made up lyrics. There were several times we laughed so hard that my stomach started to cramp. Edward finally confessed to all of the pranks he and Emmett had pulled on Alice and me while we were growing up. I informed him he was going to be tortured when I got back to Forks and told Alice that it was him that ripped all of the GUESS labels off of her jeans in Jr. High School.

We talked about work and our goals in life. We had even gone running again that morning even though our legs were like jelly under us. Neither of us willing to be the one to admit we could barely walk, we went and tortured ourselves even further. It had been a great day. Learning more about Edward made me realize I really missed out on something great by pushing him out of my life all those years.

Edward's velvety voice broke me from my thoughts. "Hey, I'm starving. Put on some shoes and a bullet proof vest, we're heading to Culver City." He chuckled at his own lame joke.

"Why are we going to Culver City?" I asked as I tied up my shoe.

"Because that is where the best Mexican food in the world is." He grabbed the door knob and ushered me out of the apartment.

I let him drive since I didn't know where we were going. He pulled into a tiny parking lot with a giant yellow sign that read, Tito's Taco's.

"Why are we eating here?" I said as my eyes roamed over the five items on the menu.

He gave me a wide smile and nudged me. "Because we are leaving tomorrow and I don't know when I'll come back here. This was my favorite place to eat all through school. I would drive over here at least once a week. Hasn't anyone told you the hole in the wall places are the best? There were so many times that first year of school that I was lonely, and I would think about calling you to come and eat here with me. I just never got the nerve because I thought you hated me. Now, ten years later, here I am and you're here with me."

My heart was pounding in my chest. He had thought of me all those years ago. I wondered if I would've come with him. I was so busy trying to hate him, I didn't know if I would've given him an inch. I ached again inside thinking of all the wasted time.

We sat and ate some of the best Mexican food I had ever had, while he told me stories about college roommates, classes, and getting his acceptance to medical school. I felt like I could sit there all day watching him reminisce. He was so happy.

Friday morning I had a meeting at the office, and Edward went to breakfast with some of his old buddies. Then he offered to pick up the moving truck and he and his friends would load the truck. The meeting was overwhelming. My boss went over every client I would be handling and where they were at with their publications. He also had to issue me a new scanner, cell phone, and fax machine to take with me to Forks. It was nearly one o'clock when I called Edward to let him know I was ready.

While I was waiting for Edward, I sat next to the receptionist's desk and caught up on some emails. Thirty minutes later Edward walked through the big glass doors. He looked amazing – his shirt clinging to him from the heat and the sweat-- he looked like a sexy construction worker. I noticed the receptionist adjust her low-cut blouse lower as she ogled Edward. I stood up to leave and smirked knowing she was probably wondering what he was doing with me. I bent over to pick up my boxes.

Edward jogged over to me. "Hey, let me get that for you."

"Thanks, Edward." I turned to look at the receptionist again and gave her a knowing smile as her mouth hung open as she looked back and forth between me and Edward. She didn't have to know he didn't belong to me.

Edward loaded everything into the back of the car, and I slid into the driver seat.

Once Edward was in the car with the door shut I asked, "So how much is there to do?"

"Nothing. It's done," he said with a shrug.

"What do you mean it's done?" I was confused there is no way he had everything done.

"I mean your apartment is empty and we are going to have to leave today instead of tomorrow unless you want to go buy some sleeping bags."

"You and your friends really got it all done?" I was floored, and so grateful.

He nodded his head, with a proud smile on his face.

"Alright, I just need to change my clothes and walk through the apartment with my landlord, and then we can go."

Two hours later my car had been hitched to the truck, and I had handed my keys over to my landlord. I was taking some pictures of my now, old home when a little old lady walking down the street offered to take one of Edward and me in front of the apartments.

She was so sweet, but made it a little awkward for me. "Oh thank you, but…"

Edward jumped in, "Thank you, ma'am. That would be wonderful." He took the camera from my hand and handed it over to the little grandma.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the middle of the lawn, and then put his arm around my shoulders. "Smile," he said into my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"Why did you do that?" I was clueless as to why he would want a picture with me.

"Because, days, weeks, or even months later when you try to act like you don't need anyone, I will pull this picture out and remind you that there was once a day when you needed me and I was there for you." Then he walked away to take the camera from the lady.

I stood there frozen. I wanted to be irritated with his motives, but there was something in his tone and face that made me want to hold onto him for dear life. I willed my feet to move forward and get in the truck, where Edward sat smiling with an ear to ear grin.

Climbing into the truck, I made it a point to slam the door shut to express my annoyance. As I put on my seatbelt, Edward turned the ignition, roaring the engine to life.

He looked over at me. "You ready?"

I looked at the city around me, and wondered what I was thinking giving up my life here to go live back in Forks again. I knew it was the right choice for me, but there was still a part of me that feared I would turn into the Old Maid Librarian moving back to a town that small. No, I knew in my gut that this was the right decision. I let out a long slow breath. "Yeah, let's go. We have a long drive ahead of us."

As we headed north, Edward and I pointed out all of the places we had been and shared our memories with each other. Once we left the city we hooked up my music and started our game again, singing along with our own versions of the lyrics. About two hours into the drive I realized our hotel rooms were reserved in Medford, Oregon. There was no way we would drive that far tonight.

"Edward, how far do you think we could drive tonight? I don't have a hotel reservation for tonight anywhere. I thought we wouldn't leave until tomorrow."

"Well, we can still drive a while but I can't go all night, I'm too tired you worked me to the bone these last few days. Do you think you could drive through the night?"

"No. We could stop in Sacramento. We would be there at about nine or so." I looked over at him wondering how tired he was.

"It sounds like a plan. Why don't you call and cancel the reservations in Medford? I don't think it will be hard to find a hotel in Sacramento."

Exhaustion was hitting both of us by seven. Edward had been pounding through Mountain Dew trying to stay awake. We had worked hard the last couple of days and not gotten enough sleep.

Edward yawned. "You have got to talk to me about something, or I'm going to fall asleep."

Digging through my thoughts, I tried to come up with a clever topic. I came up empty. "Umm, I have to go shopping with Alice this week."

"Ooohhh, that's unfortunate. Why do you have to go shopping when I just watched you pack boxes and boxes of clothes?" His eyebrows looked like he was confused. "I would expect that from Alice, but you have never been all into your appearance."

"Thanks Edward," I barely whispered.

"Bella, that's not what I meant. You know what I meant. You were never one of those girls in high school that giggled at all of the boys, and went to the bathroom every twenty minutes to check her makeup. You've always been real and genuine. You don't need any of that stuff. You're beautiful without all of the worry."

I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be flattered or upset. But I was excited he thought I was beautiful. "Oh." I couldn't think of anything else to say.

He put his hand on my thigh just above my knee and squeezed it, an electric current coursed through my body. "Trust me, Bella. You were always heads and shoulders above all of the girls at school. Now, why are you torturing yourself by shopping with Alice?"

I felt warm inside and couldn't resist the grin that spread across my face when he complimented me. He pulled his hand away from my leg and I felt a sense of loss. "I'm attending this gala, charity event thing with Jacob next week. I need a formal dress. I know it sounds crazy but I don't own one."

He laughed in response to my dripping sarcasm. "Alice, will be great at helping you find a dress. If you want to look spectacular she's the one to help you do it. Tanya and I will be at the Port Angeles Pediatrics Benefit Gala also. Maybe we'll be at the same table."

That would be an image that could be shown next to the definition of awkward. I could only imagine Jacob pining over Tanya, Tanya pining over Edward, Edward pining over Tanya, and me sitting there invisible. "Or not," I said casually.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. That would be a little weird. Too bad, it would be nice to sit with someone fun instead of all the stiffs with deep pockets."

"Does Tanya like going to these things with you?"

He looked like he was pondering the question. "Tanya likes to be a part of something big. She likes getting dressed up and putting me in a tux. Going out is her fun time. I would much rather just kick back at home together."

Before I could control the loose cannon I call my mouth, I asked, "Are you going to propose soon?"

Tension crossed his face, and he didn't answer me.

"What, Edward, are those next steps still not working out mathematically for you?" I giggled, remembering our talk in my kitchen a couple of weeks ago. He said it made sense to take the next logical step. Men can be so stupid.

He gave me a stern look from the corner of his eye, never turning his head from the road. He let out a long breath. "I don't know. I really love her, I do. I just feel like something is missing, like there should be more. But then I keep telling myself it's just the part of me that is scared because marriage is such a big step, it's supposed to be forever. I know I have to quit dragging my feet, maybe I'm waiting for a sign from God or something." He chuckled to himself.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Edward. I can't help you either, only you can make that decision. Have the two of you talked about it?"

He shook his head. "No, it would kill her if I talked to her about it and then decided it wasn't what I wanted. I would never want to hurt her."

"Yeah, but you can't stay with someone because you don't want to hurt them either."

The car was silent. I instantly regretted even talking about Tanya with him. I wish I could've rewound that last hour and just kept my mouth shut.

We pulled off onto an exit just past downtown Sacramento, and pulled into a Marriott parking lot.

"Hey, why don't you just drop me here and I will run in and get the rooms?"

He slowed the truck to a stop at the entrance and I jumped out. The parking lot looked full and the lobby was full also. I wondered what was going on. I waited in line at the front desk.

"Can I help you?" a man called from behind the counter.

I hurried over to his smiling face. "Hi, I need two single rooms for tonight."

The man smiled at me sweetly and laughed. "Miss, there is a very large rodeo in town and most all hotels in the surrounding area are going to be booked, unless you want to stay at a Super 8 motel."

"Do you have any rooms available?" I pleaded with my eyes.

He typed on his computer, and looked up at me with a twinkle in his eye. "I do have two rooms left, both honeymoon suites."

My face fell. "How much are the rooms?"

"Three hundred dollars a night," he announced like that was no big deal.

I dropped my head down into my hands on the counter. There was no way I could pay for two rooms, or ask Edward to pay for his own, and there was no way I was suggesting we share a honeymoon suite.

I felt a hand on the small of my back, and Edward's voice say, "We'll take one of the suites please."

My head lifted from the counter and the man looked at me, I just nodded my head, never turning to look at Edward. I pulled out my credit card and handed it to him. I finally turned to Edward. "I thought you were waiting in the truck."

He shrugged, slipping his hands into his pockets. "You were gone a while, so I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Here are your keys, Miss Swan." I took the keys from the gentleman, and followed Edward to the elevators.

"What's going on in town? Why is it so crowded?" he asked watching the numbers light up as we ascended the hotel.

"Apparently, they have a really big rodeo in town. He said everything would be booked. We probably could have found somewhere that had two rooms."

"It's fine. I'm too tired to go in search of my own room."

"I'm starving, too." I picked up my bag at the ding of the elevator doors opening.

Edward laughed. "Yes, I think ordering a pizza is a must."

The room was beautiful. I had always loved staying in hotels ever since I was a little girl. It was so exciting being in a new place, eating food in your bed, and staying up watching TV in bed. It's funny how the same things that excited me as a little girl, still excited me now.

I dropped my bag and plopped down onto the bed. "Oh it feels so good to relax. I feel like I've been going nonstop for days."

I could hear Edward opening his bag up on the other side of the room as I got up from the bed. "Edward, I'm really sorry about the room situation. I'm going to take the couch tonight."

"Don't be ridiculous, that bed is big enough for ten people, besides I know you don't have it in you to try and seduce me anyways." He gave me that stupid crooked grin and laughed. It was amazing how easily he eased the tension between us. I couldn't even respond to his unexpected light humor. He pulled a bundle of clothes from his bag. "Hey, I'm going to take a shower, okay?"

"All right, I'll jump in after you." Edward started to snicker; suddenly I realized how that had sounded. "I mean I'll take a shower when you are done." I'm sure my face looked something like the color of an apple, and he continued to smirk as he turned away. He was enjoying embarrassing me way too much.

As I watched him walk into the bathroom, I thought about the fact that he would be getting undressed just on the other side of the door. The image of Edward in his underwear was like a motion picture running through my mind. I rolled over onto the bed, buried my face in the pillows, and let out a scream. The screaming continued a couple of times until I got the image out of my head. I needed to get a hold of myself! My feelings for Edward could not be resurrected. Lately, I felt like I'd gotten into such a good place. Edward and I had become friends, Jacob and I were seeing each other, and I'd dealt with my Edward issues and tucked them all away. Seeing so much of Edward, in more ways than one, was reminding me of why I felt the way I did in the first place.

"Are you okay?" Edward laughed.

I lifted my face out of the pillow. "I'm fine." I hopped up and grabbed my bag and headed for the bathroom, shoving past him.

_Knock, Knock. _

"Yeah?" I yelled trying to be louder than the shower.

"What kind of pizza do you like?" Edward yelled through the door.

"Double cheese," I yelled again.

I waited for a response but there was none. I finished my shower, towel dried my hair and threw on my pink bermuda sweat shorts, and white wife beater.

Edward was on the bed in some plaid pants, and a wife beater holding the remote scrolling through the channels.

He looked up at me and smirked. "Nice tank top."

I retorted, "It's not my problem you want to be just like me. Where's the pizza?"

"It should be here any—" _Knock, Knock, Knock_, "speaking of."

I grabbed the remote he dropped when he went to open the door. I scrolled quickly through the channels and found an old episode of Beverly Hills 90210. Edward brought over the pizza and two bottles of Coke. We both grabbed pieces of the pizza and started to eat without napkins or utensils.

As Edward grabbed his second slice he noticed the television. "Are you kidding me, Bella? Didn't I have to watch enough of this with you and Alice growing up? You've seen all of these already."

I was laughing so hard, he sounded like a child. "It's this or Sex and the City."

"How do I pick the lesser of two evils? How about Pay-Per View? I bet there is a movie we could watch."

I tossed him the remote, and went for another slice of pizza. "Pick whatever you want. I'm going to be asleep as soon as I'm done eating anyways."

He scrolled through the list. "Hey, they have '_Quantum of Solace_.' I never got to see this. Do you want to watch it?"

"How have you not seen that? It's so good. Get it. You'll love it."

"Good. Tanya doesn't like action movies. I usually have to wait until they are on DVD. Did you go and see this on a date or something?"

"Humph, no, I love Bond or any action movie."

Edward raised his eyebrows at me. "I thought you liked chick flicks?"

"I do. What? I can't be versatile?"

He flashed me a grin. "No, you can. I just never met a girl who would watch a Bond movie on her own."

We finished off the pizza and sodas and both got up to brush our teeth. It felt strangely comfortable to be so relaxed and familiar with each other. I jumped in the bed and Edward went to the other side. I saw he was going to take off his shirt, and I looked away, I didn't need any more images of Edward undressed in my head. I felt him slide into bed and he started the movie. He was right, it wasn't uncomfortable at all. We could easily fit three people in-between us. Edward reached over and turned off his lamp. I followed his lead and turned off mine. I don't think I made it twenty minutes before I was asleep.

The sound of a door slamming woke me, I felt disoriented, it was pitch black and I couldn't remember where I was. Then I heard my name come from a beautiful velvet voice next to my neck. Goose bumps covered my body. Suddenly, I remembered where I was, I tried to move but I couldn't. I was being held in a tight grip, Edward's grip. He was pressed against my back with his arms wrapped around my stomach. My heart accelerated to a speed that could very well be dangerous. I felt my breathing turn into gasping. I didn't know what to do. He started to stir and I froze, he pulled me tighter and sighed, "_Bella."_ I instantly felt giddy, was he dreaming about me? Did he know he was holding me in his arms? I waited to see if he said it again. I could tell he was asleep by his rhythmic breathing, and I didn't know what to do. It was seven-fifteen in the morning and I knew I should get up now, but if I woke him and he realized what he had done, well it could ruin everything. We had become such good friends I didn't want that ruined. I let out a long breath and attempted to slide out of his arms. Just as I started to move he rolled away from me. I slid carefully from bed and hurried to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

When I came out of the bathroom, Edward was awake and sitting on the edge of the bed. I decided the best thing to do was act normal, like nothing happened. I knew Edward would not be fantasizing about me, it had to be a dream about the move or running. "Hey champ, you decided to wake up. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, actually that was one of the best night's sleep I've ever had, and I never sleep well in hotels." He stood up and stretched then he grabbed his bag and headed into the bathroom.

It took everything from me to contain the beaming smile I had inside. I wondered if his great night sleep had anything to do with me. _No, Bella, you can't let yourself hope for that. He doesn't see you that way._

I knew I would take what happened to the grave with me. I would never want to embarrass Edward, or hurt Tanya by telling anyone he had held me and said my name in his sleep.

The rest of the drive passed quickly. We took turns driving and napping, playing car trip games and talking about life. By the conclusion of the trip I felt like Edward and I hadn't just known each other our whole lives, but that we knew each other's lives. Edward is an even better man than I'd ever given him credit for, Tanya is a very lucky woman and I hoped that one day I could be as lucky as she was.

We pulled up to my dad's late that evening. Edward grabbed our overnight bags from the cab of the truck, and we locked up the truck leaving it for tomorrow.

When I opened the door, Charlie and Alice were talking in the kitchen waiting for us. When I entered the door way, they both stood up with wide smiles.

Alice grabbed me into a big hug. "Bella, you're here, and you're here to stay." She pulled away and looked at me. "You look exhausted."

"Yeah, I feel like I can barely keep my eyes open."

Charlie walked by and patted my shoulder. "I'm glad you're back kid." He then shuffled from the room.

Alice hugged me again. "I'll take Edward home. You get some sleep. Tuesday, we shop." A wicked grin spread across her face and she rubbed her hands together in an evil way. She spun on her heel and headed for the front door.

Edward turned to me, "Well, let me know if there is anything else you need." He turned to follow Alice out the door and I stopped him.

I pulled Edward into a tight hug, he felt tense. "Thank you for everything, I couldn't have done it without you. You really went above and beyond."

He draped his arms around me and I felt him relax in my arms. "It was my pleasure."

*************************************************************

**Chapter Notes: ** I hoped you all enjoyed the Edward and Bella time. What was your favorite part? Review; let me know what you're thinking.

Oh and you all need to go find an evening gown, next week is the gala. Mmmm, Edward and Jacob in tuxes, sounds delicious.

There is a new thread over at Twilighted for Change of Heart. Come on over and visit. You can chit-chat with some other peeps about the story. I will be there often and answer questions. I will also be dropping some teasers every once in a while. .?f=44&t=3963

Review, Review, Review! Show me some love, please.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author Notes:** Thank you all for being so patient while I get these chapters up, I know I have slowed down a bit, but I am working on it. I hope to get the next chapter up a lot quicker.

A lot happens in this chapter. I really enjoyed writing the chapter.

Big thanks to Ginny for all of your wisdom. Thanks ShabbyApple for all that you do. I'm gonna miss you while you are gone. Have fun with your new baby. Lynelle, you're an awesome friend and I love your brilliant insight (you too Troy).

Major shout outs to all of my reviewers. I love you all. Your reviews are the highlights of my days. All you girls down at the forum you are the best.

Of course I own nothing, Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, although confused Edward, and strong Bella do belong to me.

Put on your evening gowns we are heading to the gala.

**Week of Events**

Sleep had been unable to find me all night. I'd crawled into bed the night before exhausted and desperate for sleep. My brain however, had other plans. As soon as I closed my eyes, it was as if I was watching a movie on the back of my eyelids. My mind just kept replaying the events of the past few days with Edward. Edward laughing harder than I'd ever seen, how he told me I was important and beautiful, the vision of his almost naked body, sitting together over dinner while he told me how he'd thought of me while at school, and his arms around me in a bed we'd shared.

For years I'd fought my feelings for Edward. I'd been in complete control of my hidden feelings. Then after I'd come here, and slowly they've seeped to the surface. After this past weekend I was terrified I'd never be able to get them under control again. Without a shadow of doubt, I knew that I'd fallen irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen.

Desperate to control the crying that had started, I took several deep breaths and wiped away the tears that were already threatening to spill over. My heart was breaking knowing that I had finally allowed myself to really love someone and that I could never have him. His heart already belonged to someone else. Even if his heart was free, I would never be good enough to hold it.

_Beep, Beep, Beep_

The tears started to fill my eyes again but not over Edward. My alarm was going off and I had not slept at all. I had a very important meeting with a new client and I couldn't afford to be this exhausted. I reached for my phone and turned off the alarm. Placing my phone back on the night stand I grabbed my camera that lay next to my phone. Sitting up in my bed, I reached over, turned on my lamp, and grabbed the camera. I scrolled through my recent photos, until I came to the picture I was looking for.

The corners of my mouth pulled up into a smile, as I looked at the picture of Edward and me. I carefully studied the image of the two of us. Edward looked beautiful, his bronze hair all disheveled, his t-shirt clinging to his chest, and his cargo shorts sitting precariously low on his hips. He had his arm around my shoulder and a huge grin across his face. I couldn't have looked more ordinary than I did standing by his side. It looked like one of those shots taken of a celebrity granting a wish to a less fortunate girl.

Scrolling to the next picture, I was surprised to find that the little old lady had taken another shot of Edward and me. Edward had his arm around me, but we were looking at each other. Edward was smiling, but not a posed smile like the last one. It was a genuine smile that I had seen him give me a couple of times over the past few days. I was looking up at him with a sincere smile of my own. I felt my heart skip a beat and start to swell.

_If only…._

With a shake of my head, I set the camera down and got out of bed. If I was going to be up, I might as well go for my run. Maybe the endorphins would help me get through this day without falling asleep. Skipping breakfast, I hurried out the front door.

There on the sidewalk was the last person I expected. Edward was standing with hands on his hips and a wicked grin on his face. Of course, my favorite image of Edward in his underwear entered my mind just at the sight of him.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in bed?" I asked as I descended the steps towards him.

"It's been over a week since our first run," he replied.

I squinted my eyes towards him, completely confused. "And?"

He smirked. "I didn't want you to think that I was scared of our challenge by not showing up."

I stopped just in front of him. "I'm completely confused. I'm too tired to play charades with you. What are you talking about?"

He chuckled. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

"No, someone never went to sleep so they couldn't wake up on the wrong side of the bed," I snapped. As soon as the words escaped my lips, I regretted it.

Edward tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "Why couldn't you sleep?"

"I don't know. If I knew I probably would've been able to figure out a way to get to sleep. Now, what were you talking about?" I grabbed my hair and started to pull it back into a ponytail, attempting to seem uninterested in his question. I was desperate not to blurt out the reasons that I had been awake all night.

The smile was returning to his face. "Do you not remember we had challenged each other to a race last week? That would be today?"

"Uh, that's not happening today. I'm exhausted."

An evil expression spread across his face. "Oh Swan, you scared?" He made a pouty face at me. "All talk no action huh?"

Heat spread through my body. Stupid man, he knew I could never back down from a challenge like that. "Shut up, Cullen. Fine, just let me humiliate you already."

We planned the route and started the run. Edward stayed right beside me like I was his pacer, which surprised me. I thought for sure he would've taken off like a bat out of hell. No matter how I changed my speed, he stayed right beside me. As we rounded the last corner, about two blocks from my house, I knew I didn't have much time. I had to make my move now. He could definitely sprint faster than me. If I waited too long, he would destroy me but if I started now he may not be able to last as long as I could. I took off running. He still stayed with me the whole time, and the most annoying part of it was that he seemed like he wasn't even trying very hard. I pushed myself beyond what I thought was capable in the last stretch. Just as I thought I had tasted victory, Edward sprinted past me. He won. I couldn't believe he had just beaten me.

Instantly, I wanted to scream, jump up and down, and throw a fit. How could that happen? I had been running almost every day for years, and he just started running again two weeks ago. It wasn't fair. Why were men naturally better athletically than women, no matter how hard we try?

Trying to catch my breath, I leaned over with my hands on my knees panting. I could hear the Edward's footsteps approaching me. I could either act like an adult about this, or like a child, I chose the latter.

I stood up quickly and stormed up the lawn towards the house. I could hear Edward's laughter getting louder the further I got away from him. This, of course, just angered me more.

Edward stifled his snicker long enough to yell at me across the yard. "Oh come on. Don't be a baby, Swan." His laughter erupted again. "Don't worry Bella. We'll discuss your payment later." He was still chuckling as he turned towards his car.

Without turning around to look at Edward, I opened the front door, ran inside and slammed it shut. I instantly regretted my actions, and waited to see if I had woken Charlie up.

Five hours later, I was still kicking myself for throwing that little tantrum in front of Edward. I had spent the last forty five minutes of my drive to Port Angeles wondering what I could have done to beat Edward in that race and how I should have handled my defeat better.

I was positive Edward left my house with an ego bigger than the moon. He's never going to let me live this down, and what the heck was he expecting as payment? We'd never shook on anything, so I wouldn't be rewarding him in any way, and that is exactly what I would tell him. I was sure he got the abdominal workout of a life time laughing at me all the way home. Why did I have to act so irrationally sometimes? It would have been so much better if I had just acted like it was no big deal that he had beaten me.

Exiting the highway, I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. I was on my way to meet a new client and I needed to be focused. James Gigandet was a fairly new author. He wrote a book called, "My Secret Obsession." From what I'd read it was a very disturbing book about a vampire that stalked women. I guess there was a new trend for reading dark books because it had been a very successful book. His former publishing company was dumped because he felt they were not attentive enough to his needs. There were plans for a sequel and he had picked Random House to be his publisher. Because of his location in the Olympic Peninsula I had been assigned to be his new editor. I could already see that James would be a difficult client for me. From what I'd heard, he was a very high maintenance and the better his last book did, the worse his attitude became. Plus, the genre he wrote wasn't what I really cared for.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I looked at my clock and saw I still had twenty minutes until James would arrive. I grabbed my bag and took my time walking into the restaurant.

"Hi, I have a reservation for Swan, party of two," I informed the hostess, as I tried to adjust the jacket on my black pant suit.

The hostess smiled at me. "Of course, Miss Swan, right this way."

She walked me to the table and placed a menu in front of me. "Will this be to your liking?"

"Yes, it will be fine, thank you. The person I am waiting for is a man named James."

"Okay, I will watch for him. Your server will be with you shortly."

James was fifteen minutes late and I was getting bored. I reached down into my bag and grabbed his latest manuscript, and a notepad for notes. I clicked my pen against the notepad impatiently while I waited.

A very loud, flirtatious giggle awoke me from my daze. I looked up and there was a very good-looking man, who I assumed was James flirting mercilessly with the hostess. I dropped my pen and stood to greet him.

I held out my hand and smiled. "Hello, you must be James. I'm Bella." He shook my hand very firmly. We made eye contact and he had piercing blue eyes that you felt were looking right through you, but not in a good way. He had blond hair that was in a disheveled ponytail at the nape of his neck. He wore jeans and a black leather jacket. When I looked back up to his face, he gave me a knowing smile with only one side of his mouth rising up.

The hostess turned and glared at me and then returned to James with a smile. James looked at her and said, "Thank you for showing me to my table, beautiful."

The, not so intelligent girl, just continued to giggle and not very discreetly, slid her phone number into his hand then turned and left. James followed her with his eyes as she walked away.

Ugh! Watching their blatant flirting almost made me throw up in my mouth.

Hearing him take the seat across from me, I had to force myself to look up at him with a smile on my face.

He spoke before I could. "Well it's nice to meet you, Bella. You are much prettier than any editors I've ever met. I guess Random House took my request seriously. I told them I wanted someone beautiful to work with." He flashed me a smile and a wink.

I was clenching and unclenching my fists under the table. I couldn't stand these types of men. Men who think just because they are good looking or have money they can talk to women however they want. Apparently, he thought I should swoon because he paid me a compliment.

Through clenched teeth, I offered a curt, "Thanks." I pulled out a second copy of his manuscript and put it in front of him. "I've read your manuscript and…"

"Now, now Bella, why don't we get to know each other, eat some lunch and then we'll talk business?" He reached across the table and took my copy of the manuscript and set it aside on the table.

My gut was telling me this is not the kind of man I wanted to get to know. My brain let me know that this was my job, my first client on this assignment and a very important client to the company I worked for. I knew I would have to endure this and be on my best behavior.

I spent the next hour listening to James tell me all about himself. He informed me of his new money, where he had been traveling, what he had bought, how women flocked to him, and how he was constantly portrayed in magazines as one of America's hottest bachelors.

My focus was solely on eating my lunch as quickly as possible and getting to the business part of our lunch so I could leave. I nodded and gave one word answers whenever necessary. Luckily, he never asked about me or wanted me to talk, so I never seemed rude. The way he stared at me left me feeling very uncomfortable. Until that moment, I'd never understood what women meant when they said that a man was undressing them with their eyes. Sitting in the booth in front of James, I fully understood. I was completely covered, wearing my typical business attire—no exposed cleavage, no slivers of skin appearing on my waist to tease—but the way he continued to leer at me made me feel like I was naked. Strangely, I longed to have Edward by my side; he would have made me feel safer. The images of Edward punching James and telling him how to treat a lady made me smile.

Finally, the server came and removed our plates from the table. He refilled my glass of water and poured James a third glass of wine.

I sat up little straighter and rested my elbows on the table with my fingers laced together. "Would you like to hand me a manuscript now, so we can discuss your next book?"

"If we must," he replied giving me a sullen expression, and handing me the manuscript.

We spent the next two hours discussing his creepy book about a vampire named Laurent. Laurent stalked his prey Victoria and emotionally tortured her for a year before finally feasting on her. This was the kind of book a serial killer or mentally disturbed person writes.

"Do you have any other questions for me, James?" I asked putting all of my work into my bag.

James reached over and placed his hand on mine stopping me from putting my things away. I looked up at him and shivers ran down my spine because of the intense stare he gave me. I had to look away from him. I pulled my hand from under his, and sat back as far into my seat as possible.

"I do have one question. When would you be available to have dinner and drinks with me?" He looked extremely confident in himself.

"Well, I…" My voice cracked and I quickly tried to clear my throat. "Excuse me. I don't think it would be a good idea to go out with someone I work with."

A wicked grin spread across his face. "Well, lucky for me, Bella, we won't always work together." He then stood up and walked around the table, picked up my hand and kissed it. I trembled, and he misunderstood my reaction because he leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "Until next time, Miss Swan." He then retreated and left the restaurant.

The next morning I was startled out of my sleep, by my alarm. Nightmares of James's creepy stare had tortured me all through the night. Even though I knew he was nowhere near me I still felt weirded out by him. I didn't know how I was going to endure working with him any longer. I still had several months to a year of dealing with him. I would have to set some boundaries or talk to my boss. Maybe he was just overly sure of himself because of the hostess and he wouldn't be like that the next time we met.

I decided against running that morning because I didn't want to face Edward after my fit the day before, and I needed to reserve energy for my shopping trip with Alice. I spent most of the morning working on my laptop, while changing loads of laundry. The house was so quiet. Lately, it seemed Charlie was always either fishing or at Sue's house. I wondered how serious those two actually were. I let out a small chuckle at the thought of Charlie being romantic with anyone.

Realizing the time I quickly put my work away and hurried to the shower, knowing Alice would arrive in thirty minutes to march me out for our day of torture.

As I walked into my room, I saw someone sitting in my chair in the corner. I screamed not realizing who it was.

Clinching my chest I continued into my room. "Geez Alice, you scared me to death. How did you get in the house?"

"I still have my key to the house. Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you I just thought you might need help getting ready." Alice casually made her way over to my closet. "Your selection isn't much better, now that your entire wardrobe is here."

Pushing the little pixie out of the way, I started pulling clothes from my closet. "Look Alice, I'm going to be comfortable in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt during the part of the day. I'm not your human Barbie doll."

"Fine." She stomped over and sat on the bed pouting.

While I finished getting ready, I listened to Alice huff and puff over my poor decisions. I had to smack her hand away several times as she tried to put more makeup on or put product in my hair. "Alice, I'm going to kill you if you don't stop. I love you, but I will kill you." I gave her my most stern look.

"Fine," she spat. "But, Bella, can I _please_ get you ready for the gala?"

There was no getting out of it. I did want to try and look extra special that night and I knew I couldn't do it by myself. "Yes, but nothing over the top, got it?"

She crossed her heart with her finger. "I promise."

On the way to her shop I told her all about James, and she confirmed she would have been weirded-out, too. Then she asked me all about my trip with Edward, and I gave her the abridged version. She was not content with my answers. She wanted something about Edward and me. I pacified her, and told her that we ended up getting along really well, and I thought we would be good friends now. No way would I ever tell her that I saw him in his underwear or that we shared a bed together. I loved the girl, but there was no way I was going to endure that line of questions from anyone. I could barely endure my own line of questions.

When we arrived at the shop, Rosalie and Esme were there. They both greeted me with hugs, and Alice disappeared to the back.

I sat down on a plush chair across from Rosalie and Esme. "What are you two doing here?"

Rosalie said, "I am here to back Alice. You need to look sexy. We all know you would look like a nun if you picked the dress."

Esme smacked Rosalie's leg. "Rose, leave her alone. Bella, I'm here to be on your side. I know how these two can be and I want to protect your sweet virtue. Plus, I need a dress. Carlisle and I will be attending the gala as well."

Alice walked in pushing a rack with about a hundred dresses on it. "Alice, you don't have that many dresses in your shop. Where did you get all of those?" I asked.

"I wanted to make sure we had enough options, so I went to Seattle last weekend and bought several dresses for you and mom to try on, and whatever we don't choose, I'll take back." She rubbed her hands together wickedly. "Alright, Bella, strip down."

"What?" I gasped.

"Oh, come on. The store is closed, and we are all girls here. Get over it Bella, get undressed now."

The next two hours were spent with Esme and me putting on a fashion show for Rosalie and Alice. There were a few dresses I liked and few that were ridiculous. Alice had to know I wouldn't wear some of these gowns and just wanted to torture me. Esme had already found her perfect gown. It was a simple black body-forming dress, with a small train and spaghetti straps. She looked beautiful. We were getting to the end of the rack and I had yet to find a dress for myself.

I slipped on the second to last dress and before I even looked in the mirror, I knew by my audience's faces, that this was the one. Alice had a beaming smile and quickly clapped her hands, Rosalie whistled and fanned herself, and Esme let out a whispered, "oh" and her eyes filled with tears. I turned around to see myself in the mirror. Even I couldn't control the beaming smile that spread across my face. The gown was pale yellow and exquisite. It was strapless and gathered across the breast, with simple yellow beading around the empire waistline, and a layer of chiffon that flowed to the tops of my feet. It was the most beautiful dress I had ever worn.

As I stood there looking at myself in the mirror just radiating, I heard a whisper behind me. I wasn't sure who said it, but the words were distinct. "Edward will have to know when he sees her like this." I didn't turn around, but I felt a corner of my mouth creep up before I could stop it.

The rest of the week flew by. Meeting with clients, an abundance of reading and editing, and getting everything unpacked and into storage, was enough to keep even me busy. I hadn't seen Edward all week, he never showed up to run again after I didn't run with him the day after my tantrum. I'd met Jacob for lunch on Thursday and we made our plans for Saturday. We talked about the move. Edward was intentionally left out of the conversation on both our parts. He said he had never been to L.A. and would love for me to give him a tour sometime. Lunch had been cut short because he got called into the hospital, but not before telling me how much he anticipated seeing how beautiful I would look at the gala.

The day of the gala had finally arrived. I was an emotional mess. Formal events were not really my thing, so I definitely felt some dread. I was flattered by the thought of being asked to attend the gala with an attractive man. Excitement and nerves also filled me. It was inno small part, because I would be seeing Edward dressed up, as well. I felt tortured as Alice performed several beauty treatments on me _all day long_.

I was almost ready for the gala. Alice was finishing all of her final touches on me. I received a final layer of hairspray over my loosely curled hair that hung playfully to the middle of my back, one more coat of lip-gloss onto my pink lips, and a few squirts of perfume on my neck and wrists. She then quickly clasped a diamond tennis bracelet around my wrist and put in some large diamond earrings, all borrowed from her of course.

"All right, Bella, I have to go. I need to go and do my mom's hair too." Alice took a step back to admire her work. "You look perfect."

"Only because of your help."

A sad look crossed her face and she replied, "When will you ever really see yourself, Bella?" She hugged me tight and turned and left the room.

Reaching over to grab my clutch, I caught a glimpse of myself in my full length mirror. I stood up straight and walked over and stood in front of the mirror. The person in the mirror did look beautiful, but it wasn't me. It was who Alice had made me. Underneath all of the makeup and dress I was still plain old, boring Bella.

I imagined what it would be like as I descended the stairs and saw Jacob looking debonair. I imagined my heart would race, butterflies would flutter about, and it made me smile just at the thought of him. I hoped that I would get the feeling that he was a man I could be with, that I was ready to have an adult relationship.

I was pulled from my thoughts, when Charlie called me from down stairs. I let out a long breath as I took one final look at myself in the mirror.

Heading down the stairs, I had to concentrate very hard on not falling. I'd never worn heels as high as the ones that Alice had strapped to my feet, and I didn't trust myself not to fall. As I reached the last step, standing in front of me were Charlie and Jacob, both with their jaws hanging open. I quickly tugged the top of my dress up to make sure my breast hadn't fallen out or something. I suddenly felt very insecure.

The silence made me uncomfortable. "What?" I snapped.

Charlie didn't move, not even a blink. Jacob's mouth rose into a smile and he squared his shoulders and took a step towards me. "Bella, you look absolutely stunning. No, that doesn't even come close to describing you. I've never seen anyone look as beautiful as you do."

"Thank you. Alice did it." I looked down at the ground feeling my whole body turn bright red.

"No, Alice couldn't do this. Nobody could. _You_ are beautiful." He reached out and grabbed my hand. "You ready?"

"Yeah."

Charlie cleared his throat behind me. I turned towards him and saw tears in his eyes. "Until now, I had never seen that my baby girl had grown into a woman." His voice trembled at the end of his words and he looked down at his shoes.

My heart was warmed by the words Charlie said. Charlie had never been one for words. It was not easy for him to say that to me. He and I were the same that way, we could never tell people the emotional stuff. I reached out and hugged him tightly. "I love you Dad."

"Love you too, Kid."

We both pulled away and I turned to the door where Jacob was waiting. As I approached him, he opened the door and put his hand on the small of my back. I felt the warmth of his hand as he led me to his car. Jacob held my hand to help me into the car. While he closed the door, he gave me a huge smile, but no words were spoken. I'd never felt more like a lady than I had in that moment. As he walked around the car I felt a rush of disappointment. I hadn't felt any of the things I had hoped to feel when I saw Jacob. I felt comfortable, and he did make me feel pretty, and he was an attractive man, but there was something missing. He slid into his seat, and took my hand and held it over the console of the car. We rode this way in comfortable silence for a while and then I couldn't take the silence any longer, Jacob and I always had something to talk about.

"The silence is killing me." I turned my body looking over at him.

It looked like his whole face was one big smile. "Bella, you have left me speechless. I don't even know what to say to you."

"Thank you," I said bashfully, "but this silence will make for a very long night. So if you really can't talk to me when I'm all fancy, I'd be more than willing to go home and throw on a pair of jeans."

"No way." Jacob started to laugh, it was like music to my ears and I immediately relaxed.

My self-consciousness was now gone and I was able to really look at him for the first time this evening. He looked very handsome in his tux, but I think I preferred him in jeans and a t-shirt. "Hey, sorry I didn't say it earlier, but you look really good tonight."

"Thank you. I think we're going to win best looking couple tonight." He squeezed my hand and laughed.

That was the Jacob I knew and had fun with. I suddenly had a feeling that tonight would be something great.

We laughed and talked as usual all the way to the gala. I had hoped my tears of laughter did not ruin my makeup Alice had spent so much time getting me ready.

Jacob led me through the ballroom with my hand hooked on his arm and it felt nice. Jacob was a gentleman and introduced me to everyone he spoke with, but I couldn't help but be bored. I didn't know these people, I didn't know of any of the events they spoke of, and I really didn't know much about the medical field. I wished there was someone I knew here.

"Jake," I whispered into his ear. "I'm going to use the ladies room, I'll be right back."

He placed his hand on the small of my back. "Do you want me to come with you?"

Smiling I said, "No, I think I can find it on my own, I'm a big girl."

He gave me his big smile and returned to the conversation that was continuing on without him.

Wandering through the ballroom I found the ladies' room. When I opened the door I saw it was full of women gossiping and powdering their noses. One woman in particular caught my attention. Tanya was looking in the mirror applying some lip gloss and laughing with two other women.

I ducked back out of the bathroom. I didn't want her to see me. I didn't want to be rude and ignore Tanya, but I didn't want to talk to her either.

An image of beautiful Tanya on Edward's gorgeous arm flowed through my mind. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I really didn't want to be there. I didn't belong there. I wanted to slip out of here and catch a cab home. I wanted to be in my comfort zone, at home in bed reading a good book. But it would crush Jake if I left, or if he knew how uncomfortable I was.

I took a few steps from the restroom wiping the tears from my eyes. I took a deep breath, and maneuvered around a table. When I looked up, like magnets my eyes pulled directly to a beautiful man in a tux, standing across the room from me. Edward was striking in all black. The tux only accentuated his long lean body. I could tell he had tried to comb his disheveled hair, but it was still a bronze mess. I was sure he'd been running his fingers through it all night. He was laughing with another doctor I'd seen him with in the hospital. As I stood there staring at Edward, his eyes met mine.

Edward's eyes grew wide as he looked me over. I grew a little insecure; had I stepped on some toilet paper while I was in the bathroom? Then he met my eyes again, and his beautiful smile spread across his face. And suddenly, there it was the feeling I wanted to feel when I saw Jacob this evening. My stomach was full of butterflies, chills ran up and down my arms, my heart was pounding, and I felt an uncontrollable smile spread across my own face.

**Chapter Notes:** So what do you think? I know you are probably disappointed that they only arrived at the gala, but there was just too much for one chapter. Next chapter is all Edward's perspective and the entire gala. I wonder what he was thinking when he spotted Bella across the room, and I wonder what will come of it. I predict some good times on the horizon.

If you would like to see what Bella's dress looks like follow this link, I also have the link on my profile page at fanfic. .com/S/3022655?tuid=000006cb-006f-0861-6c61-726765727669&id=9303349&largeImg=0&tname=product

Come on over and chat with us in the forum on Twilighted, also a link on my profile page at fanfic. We love to hear from you. I drop in often to answer questions, and drop teasers if I get enough comments. Please, please, please REVIEW, REVIEW, and REVIEW and feed my addiction.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Notes:** Look at this, another chapter in less than a week. Thanks to ShabbyApple, and Ginny for editing my chapters so fast. You're both brilliant.

I own nothing Twilight, it all belongs to SM.

Here is the chapter you all have been waiting for. Oh, what I would give to be in your monitors watching your faces as you read this chapter. Enjoy, and I know you will.

**Falling Apart**

**EPOV**

"Babe, I'm going to go to the ladies room." Tanya squeezed my hand before she turned and left. As I watched her walk away in her overly expensive, black, Vera Wang dress, she looked over her shoulder at me and winked.

Quickly, I turned back to the conversation occurring within my circle of colleagues. I was bored out of my mind and was desperate to talk about something other than money and work. I wouldn't have even attended this event if it weren't for Tanya's love for these black tie affairs. I would much rather send in a check and spend my evening watching ESPN. Esme had also been particularly persistent that I attend tonight. I'd yet to figure out why because she never pushed me to attend these things. She disliked them as much as I did.

Letting out a sigh, I turned slightly from the group and let my eyes roam the room. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I felt a pull towards something. My eyes had circled half of the room, when my entire body froze.

Across the dance floor was Bella Swan, and she was beautiful. For the first time in my life I understood the expression "Take your breath away." When my eyes fell upon her, I felt like the wind had been knocked clean out of me.

She looked so tall; my eyes immediately darted to her feet. I couldn't believe, she was wearing heels. I'd never seen Bella in heels before. She'd never worn them because she knew she'd fall flat on her face. My eyes drifted up the flowing yellow fabric that cascaded over her body, and then my attention became entranced by her bare shoulders and collar bone, showing just enough cleavage to tease any man. Her chestnut hair looked so soft hanging down in curls around her shoulders. She was so beautiful. No, that wasn't enough. She was _sexy_.

My body felt paralyzed, like I couldn't move even if I'd wanted to. My heart was thudding in my chest, and I felt like my mind was going in a hundred directions at once. Our eyes finally met, and we were locked in each other. She was blushing, probably because she had caught me checking her out. Then without thought my face filled with a smile, I felt like this smile was radiating off of my whole body. If I thought she couldn't be more beautiful I was wrong, when I saw her contagious smile spread across her face, my heart leapt in my chest.

Not sure of how long we both stood there staring at each other, I decided to go over and talk to her. For the first time ever, I felt nervous to talk to Bella. When she realized I was walking towards her, her smile grew wider and she started to close the distance between us.

Only feet away from Bella, the image of Bella was blocked as Tanya stepped into my line of vision. Tanya wore a forced smile on her face, and I wondered if she had witnessed me being awe struck by another woman. I felt my smile fall slightly, but continued to walk towards Tanya.

When Tanya reached me, she pulled me into an embrace. This was not common behavior for her. She must have seen my response to Bella. I wrapped my arms around her and looked over her shoulder at Bella's fallen face. When Bella and my eyes met again, Bella quickly looked at the ground and walked away. The sad look on her face made my stomach turn in knots.

"Miss me?" Tanya's voice asked as she pulled me from my thoughts.

I pulled back from her and smiled. I wasn't sure what to say. If I was being completely honest with myself, I'd barely noticed she was gone. Knowing very well I couldn't say no I replied, "Of course."

She grabbed on to my hand. "Let's dance." Tanya pulled my hand towards the dance floor and I followed her.

Tanya was a flawless dancer, she and I glided across the dance floor and most eyes were on us. Sometimes when we danced I felt like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Tanya informed me of all the gossip she had heard in the ladies room, and I felt my eyes glaze over in boredom. Searching the room for Bella again, I wondered what had made her look so sad earlier. I spotted her across the room holding onto Jacob's arm in a group of laughing people. I could only see her back, and I watched as the curls of hair shifted across her back as her shoulders shook with laughter.

"Edward?" Tanya asked annoyed. "Did you hear what I said?"

"What? I'm sorry. What were you saying?" I forced my eyes back to Tanya and the look on her face caused instant guilt. I had hurt her feelings.

Interrupting an awkward moment, my mother's voice sounded and it was music to my ears. "Edward," she called as my father and she came towards us.

Reaching for my mother I said, "Mom you look stunning as usual." She smiled at me and pulled me into her arms.

"So do you, my boy." She then turned to praise Tanya's beauty. My dad shook my hand and asked how the evening had been going. We shared in some idle conversation and then my parents left to make their rounds of visiting old friends.

I looked over to Tanya with a smile. "Shall we?" I motioned with my arm for us to continue our dance.

Tanya let go of my hand, and turned away from me. "Edward, I'm leaving."

"Okay, let me get our coats and we'll go." Eager to leave, I put my hand on the small of her back to guide her out.

Tanya pushed my hand away and looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "No, Edward, I'm leaving you." Before I could comprehend what she'd said, she was already making a quick exit.

Trying not to draw any attention to the two of us, I casually hurried towards the door. "Tanya, wait!" I shouted across the courtyard.

Tanya stopped but didn't turn around; I could see her shoulders shaking. "What do you want, Edward?"

"I want an explanation. I want to know what happened, and why you're ending this."

She fell apart in front of me, horrible cries escaped her mouth, her whole body was trembling, and she desperately tried to wipe away the constant flow of tears. My heart was breaking for her. I'd never seen her cry this way. There was that definite man part of me that had no idea how to handle a sobbing woman. Was I supposed to leave her alone, take her in my arms, force her to talk to me, give her a hankie? I had no idea. I took her hand and led her to a bench around the corner, where we'd have some privacy. Gently, I pulled her down onto the bench next to me. She buried her head in my chest and just sobbed. I just held her until she had cried all she needed to. Finally, she looked up at me with mascara lines dripping down her face. I reached up and softly wiped the black marks off of her face.

"What's going on?" I asked barely above a whisper.

It was almost as if she had forgotten what she wanted to do, and I asking her what was wrong reminded her. She sat up straight and turned away from me taking a few deep breaths. "I can't be with you, Edward. Not when I know you are in love with someone else." She looked at me almost begging me to tell her she was wrong.

I assumed she was talking about Bella, but I wasn't in love with her. "I don't know what you're talking about, Tanya. I love you."

"I know that you love me, and that is what I kept telling myself whenever I would think of you and Bella with each other."

"I'm not in love with, Bella," I pleaded.

"Edward, you need to quit lying to yourself!" she practically screamed. "If you aren't in love with her, then why was I almost sick to my stomach with envy when I saw the way you were looking at her in that ballroom?"

Her words hit me like a wall and I was left speechless. What I felt when I saw Bella in the ballroom was indescribable, but I didn't think it was love?

"It's okay, Edward. I fooled myself into thinking you were the one. If you were the one, I know that you would have married me by now or at least proposed. You are such a good man and that is probably why you can't even see that you love her. You would never betray me, and I appreciate that. Your loyalty is, one of the things I love about you. But Edward, I will not be a runner up. I won't settle for a man who doesn't look at me the way you looked at her tonight."

"Tanya," I pled. My voice sounded rough and desperate.

"No, Edward." She caressed my face with her hand. I looked up at her and she was smiling. "Suddenly, I'm really okay with this. I think saying it all out loud just confirmed what I've known all along. Everything's going to be fine." She leaned forward and kissed me gently on the lips, lingering for a moment, and then leaned her forehead against mine. "I'm going to go now. I hope you two will be happy together."

As she stood up to leave I grabbed her hand and stood up next to her. "I do love you, you know that don't you?"

She smiled. "I know, but not enough." And then she was gone.

Feeling overwhelmed by what had just happened, I slumped back down to the bench. I couldn't believe that Tanya had just ended our relationship, and more than that she was completely correct. I didn't love her enough to marry her, but I loved her enough to never want to break her heart. I'd been such a coward. She deserved so much more than me and I never let her go because I didn't want to be the bad guy.

"Edward, is everything okay? Where's Tanya?" My mom sounded concerned as she rounded the corner and sat next to me. "I saw you and Tanya practically run from the party, is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I think everything's fine."

Esme looked around. "Well, where is she?"

"She left." I looked over at my confused mother. "She broke up with me."

My mom should have been upset, I thought she wanted me to marry Tanya, but she didn't look upset. "Are you okay with that?"

"I think so. I never thought a break up could be that civil." I felt myself start to smile.

"Did she give you a reason?"

"She thinks I'm in love with someone else, and she wants more for herself."

A knowing smile crossed my mother's face. "Are you in love with, Bella?"

My eyebrows furrowed together, as the look of confusion overtook my face. "Why did you say Bella? I never said Bella."

"Because you are in love with her son, but apparently you still need to figure that out. I'll see you inside." She stood up and gave me a smirk and walked back into the gala.

_What was wrong with everyone, I'm not in love with Bella_? I ran my hands through my hair and leaned over resting my elbows on my knees.

Contemplating in my head over and over how I could get away with going home, I decided that I'd better not. I figured I couldn't get away with disappearing, most everyone had already seen me. I forced myself back into the party. Knowing dinner would be served shortly, I'd gone in search my place card and took my spot at the table. Several people started to seat themselves but there were many still dancing and talking in small groups.

Just as before, my eyes were immediately pulled towards Bella. She was not hard to find as she was one of the only women not wearing black. She was dancing with Jacob and she looked uncomfortable. I felt the corner of my mouth start to lift, knowing she hated to dance. Then she started to laugh and I felt my smile fall and I didn't understand why her being happy made me sad.

As she walked with Jacob to their table she was always in my line of vision. My thoughts were pulled from Bella as my table had filled with other guests, including my parents.

"What's wrong, Edward, you seem distracted?" Carlisle asked.

Esme, not so subtly whispered to my dad, "Remember I told you Tanya just broke up with him."

"That was subtle mom, I'm fine. I just have a lot to…"

"Wow, Bella Swan sure looks good all dolled up," Carlisle said in awe.

"Doesn't she?" My mother tried to discreetly glance in my direction. She wasn't doing a very good job. "She's always been such a lovely girl. She is going to make some man very happy." I groaned wondering if this would be my mother's new adventure, getting Bella and I together.

Saving me from dealing with the awkward subtleties of my parents, dinner was served. My stomach felt queasy all through dinner, and nothing tasted good to me. The speeches about the new pediatric wing, and all of the generous donations were long and boring. I was distracted and nothing was keeping my attention. I was sure it had to do with my break-up with Tanya and all that she'd said to me.

My eyes drifted back to Bella again, I felt amused watching her pick at her dinner. She looked more bored than I was. I felt a sudden urge to go and talk with her, but the arm around the back of her chair reminded me of why I couldn't. Why was a girl as great as Bella doing with a piece of work like Jacob Black? She could do so much better than him. She was beautiful, smart, athletic, independent, strong, funny, and she could keep up with my banter better than anyone I knew. She was perfect.

Without control my thoughts were consumed with images of Bella and me. I was taken back to what it had felt like when that jolt of electricity flowed through me that night I kissed her at my parent's house. The confusion she'd caused me when she touched my leg as she laid on the grass looking up at me. My raging jealousy when I'd seen her and Jacob on a date. The anticipation I always felt getting ready for our morning runs. My protective nature towards her, like making sure Alice was there for her while her dad was in surgery, or making sure she didn't drive alone to L.A. The vision of her holding a child in _our_ home, the night I'd seen her holding my niece. How normal it had felt to be domestic together in L.A. I remembered what had just transpired within me when I saw her for the first time in the ballroom. Most of all, I remembered that morning in the hotel room. The memory I'd been trying to shut out for a week. I'd woken up to the sound of my voice calling her name, when realization hit that I was holding her in my arms. I didn't move, I hadn't wanted to and how I'd felt so empty when she carefully slid out of my arms.

My lungs started to feel like they were being crushed by my ribs. I felt like I couldn't breathe and I was starting to sweat. Excusing myself from the table, I hurried to the restroom. I splashed some water on my face and took some long deep breaths. When I finally felt I had my breathing under control, I looked at myself in the mirror and started to laugh.

_You idiot, they are all right. You are completely in love with Bella Swan and you didn't even know it._

I took a couple of minutes to gain a better composure before returning to the party. My breathing was back in control, and I'd gotten control over my laughter, but there was no controlling the large beam across my face.

As I returned to the table my parents greeted me with looks of confusion and concern.

"You okay?" my dad asked quietly.

"Never better." I was still grinning ear to ear.

My mother started to choke on her water, and I gently patted her back. "Are you okay Mom?"

"Mmmhmmm." She smirked and patted my knee. She whispered, "You look like you've seen the, Bella of the ball."

I looked right over at Bella and felt peace wash over me, as I surrendered to the fact that I loved that beautiful woman. "I have seen her. It was like seeing her for the first time."

Esme quietly squealed and wrapped her arms around my neck. "What are you going to do?"

Shrugging my shoulders and letting out a long breath, I told her, "I don't know."

Most of the evening I spent sitting at my table alone, watching as Bella followed Jacob around and danced in his arms. I knew I had to snap out of this. Just because I realized that I was in love with Bella, didn't mean she belonged with me. She was here with Jacob. She wanted to be with him, the thought of Jacob and Bella _together, _made me feel ill.

My frustration was building and I decided I should go home and clear my head. I looked up to take one last look at Bella, and when I had finally found her, our eyes locked. She gave me a half smile, and I felt my heart race. Jacob leaned in and whispered in her ear, and she nodded back at him. Then Jacob turned and left her standing on the dance floor.

Moving on their own accord, my feet drug towards Bella. She was leaving the dance floor; my step quickened not wanting her to get away. Just as she reached the edge of the dance floor, my fingertips touched her bare shoulder and sent my nerves on fire. I'd continued to slowly slide my hand down her soft arm. Bella tensed and turned over her shoulder to see who'd touched her. As she looked into my eyes, my hand made contact with hers. I slightly nodded my head towards the dance floor as the orchestra started to play Clair de Lune, by Debussy. Bella bit into her lower lip, which was one of the sexiest things I'd ever seen, and then she nodded her head. Lacing my fingers with hers, I led us onto the dance floor. Never letting go of her hand, I wrapped my other arm around her waist and I rested my hand on the small of her back. I pulled her body towards mine and as I did, the room around me became a blur. It was as if we were alone, it was just her and I in the room. Shivers ran up my spine as Bella reached up to rest her hand on my shoulder. When Bella looked up at me with her doe brown eyes, my heart melted. I couldn't understand how or why I'd been able to ignore and fight off these feelings for so long. Never losing eye contact with her, I began to sashay us about the dance floor. Her grip on me became tighter, and I saw fear in her eyes, she was uncomfortable dancing. Part of me wanted to stop and appease her, but the other part of me wanted to continue and show her that I could lead her and I'd never let her fall. I stared intently in her eyes, begging to know if she was feeling any of what I was feeling. Her eyebrows started to furrow and I saw something flash in her eyes, but before I could understand it, she looked away. I pulled her in even closer to me, putting our faces cheek to cheek. As I inhaled, a little too loudly, her smell of strawberries and freesia intoxicated me. I felt as if I'd never be able to get enough of her.

The song was coming to an end and I realized we hadn't spoken a single word to each other. Loosening my hold on her I leaned back to look at her. She followed my lead and looked into my eyes. Her face was flushed, into a beautiful pink.

"Bella…" was the only word that had escaped my mouth, when someone tapped on my shoulder. I turned my head to find Jacob standing only a foot away from Bella's side.

"Edward, I'll take it from here." He nodded at me with the most arrogant smile a human being could have.

I looked at Bella, who was looking at Jacob with an irritated expression. Didn't he know her at all? He can't act like he possesses her, she would never tolerate that.

Deciding that I would be the better man, I dropped my hold on Bella and nodded to Jacob.

Bella looked at me and I smiled at her. "Thank you for the dance. You look exquisite tonight." Without waiting for her response I retreated towards my table.

"Hi honey," Esme chimed. I was startled, as she appeared in front of me out of nowhere.

"Geez, Mom, you scared me," I said clutching my chest.

A wicked grin spread across her face. "Come on, Son, let's dance."

All those years Emmett and I'd spent humiliated and complaining, that Esme had made us take dance lessons paid off, as she and I whirled around the dance floor.

"I haven't seen you this happy in a long time. It looks good on you."

Rolling my eyes at her, I gave her half a smile. "Mom, just because I'm now aware of my feelings doesn't mean anything has changed."

She sighed. "Yes, but it's a start." She smiled her infectious smile and I couldn't resist smiling back.

Her face became serious. "Are you okay with the Tanya break-up?"

"Yeah, I'm okay with it. I don't think I was ever going to marry her so a break-up was to be expected," I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

"You thought you were going to marry Tanya, what changed?" Esme asked tilting her head to the side with a look of perplexity.

Looking down at my mother I let out a long, slow breath. "Tanya is an amazing woman, she is easy to love, and I had a lot of fun with her. But, I'd started to feel like there should be more. She didn't consume my thoughts, I didn't get an anxious feeling when I saw her, and there were no jolts of electricity when we touched or kissed."

Esme, started to chuckle. "I know that the consuming thoughts and anxious feeling have always existed for your father and me. But, from what I understand that's not always the case for most people."

My eyes looked over Esme's head, and I found Bella. Without looking back to my mom I replied, "I think it will be, for me."

She was silent for a moment, and I looked back to see what had caught her tongue. She let an immense smile cross her face. "I really hope so Edward. You both deserve it."

My face fell, I was getting my hopes up and nothing had even happened yet. As far as I knew she was content with Jacob. "Don't Mom. I don't even know if she feels the same way.

The rest of my evening was spent talking to friends and colleagues and an occasional dance. My eyes wondered in idle moments to find Bella. We never spoke again or even made eye contact again, which disappointed me. I'd been hoping to figure out what was going on between her and Jacob, and maybe let her know Tanya and I had broken up.

The evening was ending and people were beginning to leave. I wanted to say good bye to Bella. I felt bad that we'd shared a dance and never even spoke, but I was so taken away with our dance, a conversation had never crossed my mind. Searching the room for her, I saw her and Jacob, they were one of the only couples left dancing, tucked away in a corner. Every time I'd seen her this evening she was always with Jacob laughing. I was envious of the fun they shared with each other.

I wondered towards them to say good-bye, when I was stopped dead in my tracks. Not more than twenty feet in front of me, I watched as Jacob leaned down and kissed Bella. I felt like I was watching it happen in slow motion. I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. As soon as reality sunk in, I spun on my heels and left the building as quick as I could. I thought I was going to be sick.

In no time, I had crossed the parking lot and was pulling the keys from my pocket. I slid into my Volvo and jerked my car into drive. My foot slammed down on the accelerator and I sped out of the parking lot. My vision was clouded by a haze of red. _Not Jacob Black, she is too good for him_. Deep down I knew I probably wasn't good enough for her either, but he's definitely not good enough. I hated that guy even more. I imagined this is what he felt like when I started dating Tanya. No wonder there was so much animosity between us. I flew down highway 101, much faster than I should. I couldn't help it; driving fast was therapeutic for me. The rush of adrenaline, the speed, the feeling of leaving everything behind me just made things better for me.

Two hours later I pulled into my drive way. I hadn't decided to go home until my head had cleared a little and I felt more in control of my emotions.

It was late, and my body was exhausted as I trudged up the stairs to my house. I walked into the dark, empty house and somehow I felt lonelier even though I'd always lived alone. I walked into the living room and flipped on a light switch.

"What are you doing here; it's after one o'clock in the morning?" I practically screamed. I couldn't decide if I was more scared by the unexpected big oaf on my couch, or annoyed that I had to deal with him in my present state of self-pity.

Emmett slowly stretched his arms over his head, and sat up on the couch. "What's your problem? I needed somewhere to crash."

Emmett's need of somewhere to stay suddenly brightened my mood. I threw my keys on the table and took off my jacket. "Why would you need a place to stay tonight? Is your house not to your liking?" I gave him an evil smirk. Knowing good and well that Rose had kicked him out for some reason or another, I still wanted to make him say it.

Emmett started to rub the back of his neck. "Well, you know Rose. She can be a little sensitive sometimes."

"Sensitive is not a word I'd use to describe Rosalie," I said trying to control my laughter.

"Well, after my shift tonight I went to watch the game with some of the guys."

"And?" I pressed, knowing there was more to it.

He slumped his shoulders forward, and let out a groan. "And, tonight was our anniversary and she sent the kids to Alice's and had a surprise dinner planned. Oh and you should've seen the lingerie she was wearing." Emmett was shaking his head in agony.

I was unable to control the laughter that exploded from me. "You're in so deep. You're never getting out of that hole. How in the world do you forget your own anniversary?"

"What? It's not like I have a big heart drawn on my calendar on today's date," he answered exasperated.

"Well, maybe you should."

Emmett fell back against the couch rubbing his face. "Help me fix this. What should I do?"

Racking my brain I tried to think of a solution for him. Suddenly, the perfect solution to both our problems popped in my head. "We can fix this, and you're going to owe me so huge." Emmett leaned forward on his knees with a look that was a cross between desperation and anticipation. "I had a surprise trip to San Francisco planned for Tanya and I this weekend. We were going to go Wednesday night to Sunday. But since, Tanya and I broke up tonight, and…"

Emmett practically roared, "You what?"

"Tanya broke up with me. It's a long story. Do you want to know the solution to your problem or not?" I snapped at him.

He was nodding vigorously. "Yes." Then he raised his eyebrows at me. "But afterwards you're going to tell me what happened."

Running my fingers through my hair, I decided I'd have to get this over with anyways. "Fine, look I'll let you have the trip and since I already have the two days off of work I could watch the girls for you."

Before I knew what was happening, I had an Emmett lifting me off the chair in a tight bear hug. "I knew I could count on you, little brother. You always know how to fix things."

"Well, I can't make Rosalie speak to you again. You still have to get her to agree to go with you on a romantic trip."

"Oh, right." He sat back down leaning on his knees again. He was silent for a few minutes and then he looked up with a huge smile. "I know what to do," he said wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Gross, I don't want to know any details about your and Rosalie's personal life." I shuddered at the image that flashed into my head.

Emmett let out an evil laugh. "At least I'm getting some. Speaking of getting some, what happened with Tanya?"

I leaned back into the couch running my hands through my hair for the thousandth time that night. "She broke up with me. She said she knew I wasn't going to marry her, and she wasn't going to settle."

"What? How does she think that being with you is settling? Cullen men are out of everyone else's league." Emmett sure wasn't lacking for self esteem.

"That's not what she meant. She wants someone who is completely in love with her and only wants to be with her."

"What does that even mean? You're leaving something out. Spill it little brother," he said, lying back down on the couch.

I threw my head back against the couch and debated whether I wanted to tell Emmett, what had changed within me tonight. It was inevitable, Mom knew, which meant Alice and Rose would know, which meant Emmett would find out. I let out a long breath. "Well, she thinks I'm in love with Bella."

Emmett leaned on his side, and more serious than I'd ever seen him, he said, "Are you?"

As I looked up at him I just nodded my head yes.

Emmett rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling. "I've got to tell you, I never saw that coming. Rosalie would make comments about it, but I always told her she was crazy and that girls look into things too much. I thought you looked at her like a kid sister, like I do."

"I thought I did, too. But all these crazy things kept happening, and all of these feeling kept coming over me, and I would just bury them or make up some excuse, because I thought I was in love with Tanya. I didn't even really know I loved her until tonight. It looks like everyone saw it before I did. I wonder if Bella knows."

Emmett's laughter boomed through the room. He tried to control himself and covered his mouth. I furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion. "What's so funny?"

It took him a full minute to get enough composure to answer me. "Man Edward, that sucks for you. That girl is going to destroy you. She will completely be your undoing." He started to laugh again.

"What does that even mean?"

"Edward, your whole life you could've had any woman you wanted and you did. Do you honestly think that you are going to be able to flirt with Bella Swan a little and she will be yours?" We both sat silently for a minute. "There is no way. She is one strong girl, and you have tortured her, her whole life. You are going to have to work so hard to get her to love you, and being as smitten as you are every minute is going to be pure torture." My face fell and I dropped it into my hands. Emmett watching me tortured made him only laugh harder.

Pulling my face out of my hands, I looked at my idiot of an older brother and stood up to leave the room. "You're a piece of work you know that." I took a few more steps and then turned back to my brother. "Oh, by the way, have fun trying to figure out how to get Rose to let you back in the house." I smiled as I watch worry come over his face and headed down the hall. Yelling over my shoulder, "You can sleep in the guest room if you want."

I slammed my door shut and started undressing. Once I was down to my underwear I headed into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Looking at myself in the mirror I saw how exhausted I looked. My eyes had deep purple bags under them, my skin was pale, and my hair was everywhere, well that part wasn't unusual. I had worked really long hours all week, and then I stayed up way too late talking to my moron of a brother.

As I flipped off the lights, I wanted nothing more than to dive right into my bed and go to sleep. But of course sleep would fail me tonight because all I could see was Bella in that yellow dress, all I could smell was the scent that was Bella, and all I could feel is what it was like to hold her against me.

**BPOV**

My heart felt like helicopter propellers that were about to launch through my chest. Edward was beautiful, and he was walking towards me with a gorgeous smile on his face. I let go of the smile I had been restraining, and started to take a step towards him. Then just like a nightmare, he was blocked from me by his stunning girlfriend. Of course, she wrapped her arms around him as any woman would that had a man like Edward. Edward's eyes met mine over Tanya's shoulder, with a look of apology. Trying to protect me ego, I hurried away as if I hadn't been walking towards him in the first place.

The majority of the evening I'd spent following Jacob around like a good date. I hadn't realized how social he was. Everyone in the room seemed to not only know him, but really like him, as well. My eyes would keep an occasional tab on Edward. He had disappeared for a while, which made me feel disappointed. Then he had returned a while later and sat talking with his parents. I hoped everything was okay, and I wondered where Tanya had gone.

As I shoved my dinner around on my plate, I was lost in my own thoughts. I wondered if Tanya hadn't come between Edward and me, what he would have said to me. Had he thought I looked pretty, or was he just excited to see a friend?

"Are you going to eat, or just move the food around on your plate?" Jacob nudged my shoulder with his, and when I looked at him he had a teasing grin on his face.

"I'm not that hungry." I shrugged.

"That's funny."

"What?" I didn't see how, me not eating was funny.

He looked back at me again with a smirk on his face. "I never took you for the kind of girl that wouldn't eat in just because she's with a man."

We both started to laugh. "You know me too well. I think I am mostly just nervous about getting any food on this dress."

"Ah, I see. You wouldn't want to do that, because most men in this room have their eyes on your dress more than any other dress in the room."

There was an instant blush across my face.

Jacob's expression sobered a little. "I'm sorry I dragged you to this thing. I know it's not something that really interests you, but I sure wanted you on my arm tonight." My blush went even deeper, and this caused a smile to consume his face. "I promise the next time we go out on a date, you can choose anything you want to do and I'll be elated with whatever it is."

Holding my hand out to him, I said, "That's a deal." And we shook on it.

We then spent the remainder of dinner talking with the rest of the group at the table. At one point, I was distracted by Edward dashing to the restroom. I really hoped he was okay, and nothing was wrong.

Jacob had forced me to dance with him several times. I wasn't thrilled, but after a couple of dances I started to feel more comfortable. The only other time I'd felt uncomfortable that night was when a perverted old man asked me to dance and was a little too close for my liking. Luckily, Jacob had sensed my discomfort and rescued me.

In the middle of our dance Jacob leaned into my ear. "Bella, would you excuse me for a moment."

"Sure." He quickly turned around and left. I felt very awkward standing on the dance floor alone. Footsteps were approaching me from behind, and I was terrified it was the old perv back to try and cop a feel. Slightly lifting the front of my dress, I tried to make a dash off the dance floor before I got stuck dancing with him again.

Fingertips grazed my shoulder, and the moment those fingertips touched me, I knew who they belonged to. The electric shock that went through me could only be caused by one person.

Looking over my shoulder, I met Edward's eyes. His fingers dragged down my arm slowly to my hand, leaving a trail of heat in its path. His eyes never left mine as he nodded towards the dance floor. Biting into my lip, I remembered what a beautiful dancer Edward was and I felt too inadequate to dance with him. I also wondered where Tanya was and if she would mind. I looked back up into Edward's eyes, and I knew I couldn't say no to him when he looked at me that way. Subtly, I nodded my head, and he laced our fingers together leading us to the dance floor. Edward pulled me into his body, and I rested my hand on his strong shoulder. Terror was starting to overpower the all consuming joy I was feeling. I was a horrible dancer, what if I looked like a fool in front of him and everyone else in the room. I felt that same insecurity creep into me, that I'd felt when I was twelve on that trampoline with him. I'd been dancing with Jacob all night, but Jacob wasn't the dancer Edward was and my heart wasn't beating a million miles a minute with Jacob like it was now. Looking into his eyes, all of my fears disappeared. The smile he was giving me almost felt like a reassurance that he would never let anything happen to me.

It seemed that as the dance went on, our bodies were getting closer and closer to each other, and as we became closer the electricity between us became more and more tangible. Our faces were only inches apart and I felt him take in a long breath. Feeling his breath so close to my face and neck, caused goose bumps to cover my body.

Suddenly, I felt ridiculous hoping he was feeling all that I was feeling. Of course, I'd feel electricity, and my heart would be pounding in my chest, because I was in love with him. He was not in love with me. I closed my eyes and decided that I didn't care if he didn't love me. Until the song was over I could pretend he did.

My body was lost in the moment of being in Edward's arms when he pulled away from me. His eyes penetrated mine and I felt myself blush unable to look away from his trance.

He said my name, and I felt like something pivotal was about to happen. I braced myself for his words, when Jacob interrupted. Disappointment filled me to the core. Even though no words had been spoken, that was one of the most intimate moments of my life and I didn't want it to end.

Even though we had stopped dancing, I still hadn't heard a word they'd spoken to each other; I couldn't take my eyes off of Edward. My daze was interrupted by Edward's velvety voice saying, "Thank you for the dance. You look exquisite tonight." I was frozen I couldn't even respond, not a thank you or anything. Then just like that he was gone.

The orchestra started to play a new song and Jacob and I started to dance. It wasn't the same. The difference between dancing with Edward and dancing with Jacob was like, indulging in a piece of Dulce de Leche cheesecake and then eating a Chips Ahoy cookie.

_AH! STOP, BELLA!_

The shouting in my voice awoke me from my stupid girl fantasies. I could never have Edward Cullen. I knew that, I'd always known that, but why couldn't I let go of what I felt. Why was I comparing Jacob, a man who is good looking, funny, smart, successful, treats me good, and really likes me, to a man like Edward? A man that I could never have. I had to get over this somehow; I had to for my sanity.

Jacob's deep voice penetrated my thoughts, "What are you thinking?"

Looking down at the floor between us I shook my head. "Nothing really, I'm just listening to the music." I looked up and smiled at him.

"Bella, thank you for coming with me tonight, I loved every minute of having you on my arm. I'm sorry if it was complete torture to you."

"Don't worry. Remember you already told me I'll have my turn to torture you." We both started to laugh.

Then, before I could think before I could react Jacob's face became passionate and then his lips were on mine.

As Jacob's soft lips moved against mine and then suddenly I let my own lips move with his. Jacob's lips were full and strong. He controlled the kiss guiding us into an even deeper kiss as he pulled my body closer to his. I waited, waited desperately to feel something, something more than just a good kiss. I waited for goose bumps, for my breath to catch, for that jolt of electricity I felt when Edward kissed me. Nothing, there was nothing but an image of Edward in my head and a desperate plea in my soul for that kiss to be with Edward.

Slowly I pulled away from Jacob.

"I'm sorry," Jacob muttered.

"Don't be," I said, as I laid my hand on his chest.

"But, you didn't feel anything did you?" His eyes were piercing into mine in search of some answers.

"Jacob, I care about you. I think you are wonderful. I am more comfortable around you than any other man I've ever known. Intimacy is something that is very hard for me. It takes me a lot longer to get to that place than most people. I just don't know where my heart is headed yet. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry for your feelings, Bella. Can we still see each other? Because I think you are great and if time is what you need I can give you that."

I pulled Jacob into a giant hug. "You're wonderful, Jacob. I don't deserve you. Of course we can still see each other, I am going to torture you remember." I gave him a wicked smile and he smiled back.

"Let's get out of here." Jacob grabbed my hand and we left the gala.

**Author Notes:** Okay so all of you lurkers, you're breaking my heart. Last chapter had over 1,500 hits and I got 24 reviews between the two websites. What's up with that?! Do you guys hate my story? Why no reviews? There are more of you that have me on your favorites list than people reviewing. Come on peeps show me some love. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! Much love to those of you who already do.

Come and hang with us on the thread over on Twilighted. We have all kinds of fun. .?f=44&t=3963

Next chapter we are going to get to start watching Edward squirm a little. The number of reviews really help me get motivated to write and submit chapters.

Let me know what you thought of Edward's revelation and break-up. It was what you all have been waiting for.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author Notes:**

Holy crap you guys were awesome with the reviews last chapter. You doubled what I normally get, and I loved reading every one of them. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you guys, please keep letting me know what you think.

Thank You Ginny for your patience and wisdom. Lynelle, you are the best IBFF a girl could ask for. I'm loving you both.

Thank you to the girls over at the thread for helping me with some of the details I didn't want to think about. Mwah!

Disclaimer: Steph owns it all.

**Emotional Release**

Lying in my bed for the last half hour, I battled the internal war waging between my body and my mind. Finally, my hand slammed the alarm clock off, my body winning the battle. My mind knew I should get up and run. I always felt better after I exercised. Not once had I ever regretted getting up and doing it. Physically, I was spent though. I think even if I'd gotten up I wouldn't have made it very far and I would've ended up back in bed, probably for the rest of the day. Trying to block the light that was starting to creep through my window, I pulled my blanket up over my face and tried to go back to sleep. Thank goodness it was Sunday, and I had the option to sleep in if I wanted.

Last night, had been a late night with Jacob. My body felt utterly destroyed. My feet were killing me from wearing those death traps Alice called shoes. My legs were sore from dancing the majority of the night. I wondered how on earth a runner gets sore legs from dancing. My eyelids felt like they were made of concrete and the top of my head felt like it was being squeezed from the lack of sleep. Three o'clock in the morning was too late for me to be out.

I felt like I had barely been back to sleep, when my peaceful lull was interrupted. "Good morning sunshine," I heard a musical, yet annoying pixie voice call through the room.

"Go away, Alice. I'm still sleeping." I was pulling my blankets up to make sure they were securely around me, knowing she would try to pull them off.

"Awe, Bella. After all I did to help you get ready for last night, you're not going to wake up and tell me all about it?" she whined.

"Alice, it's early. I was out very late. I'll tell you later, I promise. Now let me sleep," I growled at her.

In her sweetest voice she replied, "Okay, I'll just ask you all about it over Sunday dinner with the family tonight, especially about Jacob." I could hear the mischievous, yet evil tone in her voice.

Within half a second, my blankets were thrown back and I was in an upright position. "You wouldn't dare!" I squealed. Then I studied her face a little further. Oh yes, she would. And my dear friend would ask every question she could to make me turn ten shades of red. "Fine, I'm up."

As I got up from bed I glanced at the clock and saw it was eleven o'clock. Realizing how late it was, I felt ridiculous. No matter how late I was up nobody should sleep in this late at my age.

"Let me go to the bathroom and brush my teeth and I'll meet you downstairs." I said through a yawn as I dragged my feet towards the bathroom.

"Okay! Oh, and I brought food, too," she yelled as she skipped down the stairs.

By the time I made it downstairs, Alice had a full on spread laid out on the table. Shaking my head, with a half smile on my face, I asked "Do you ever sleep?"

"No, never," she grinned. "Where's Charlie?"

"He was going to go over to the station today. He's been fishing a lot, and going over to Sue's, but I think he really misses work." I shrugged.

"Well, he'll be back soon enough. Now sit down, I want details."

Sitting right in front of the seat she was pointing to was a giant soda. I couldn't help the smile that escaped. "Only you would know that I can drink a Dr. Pepper first thing in the morning." I sat down, immediately taking a giant swig of the delicious nectar. "Overall, I had a good time."

"You know I want more than that," Alice huffed, dropping her elbows down onto the table.

"I'll tell you whatever you want to know, but you know I don't get excited over this stuff. You're going to have to just ask what it is you want to know."

"And you'll answer whatever I ask?" she questioned suspiciously. I nodded my head at her, as I took a bite of the coffee cake she'd brought me. "Okay then, let's get right to the good stuff. Did you kiss Jacob?"

"No, _I_ did not kiss Jacob," I stated, emphasizing the _I_.

She made an obvious roll of her eyes. "Ugh, did Jacob kiss _you_?"

"Oh, that's what you wanted to know. See Alice you just need to be specific." I worked very hard to contain my smile.

"Oh please, Bella. You knew perfectly well what I wanted to know. Why can't you just be nice and answer my questions." She huffed, folding her arms across her chest. I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped. She was so easy to get worked up. If she was going to drag me from bed, I could have a little fun with her.

"Fine, I'm sorry. It's just weird for me, you know." I looked into her eyes letting her know I really was sorry, one side of her mouth started to curve up into a smile. I smiled back. "Yes, Jacob kissed me."

Surprisingly, she didn't respond with squeals and giddiness like I'd expected her. Her face actually fell a little. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why she wasn't bouncing off the walls. I thought she would be happy that I was moving forward emotionally and physically with someone. Hadn't she just been lecturing me that I was worth a man's attention and love? When she looked up and saw my confused face she quickly turned her face into one of excitement.

She reached for my hand, "So, how was it?" Her voice was cheerful and excited, but I knew Alice too well, it wasn't sincere.

I eyed her suspiciously. "Why weren't you excited? Why do you seem disappointed? This is the type of thing you love to talk about and you're being reluctant."

"No I'm not. You just caught me off guard that's all. I didn't expect you to say that you guys kissed. I was mostly trying to get you to squirm. Now, tell me were there sparks flying?"

Not really sure if I believed her, I let out a sigh. "Well, it was nice. Jacob is a very good kisser. He held me tight, his two hands completely engulfed my back, and he felt so muscular. When his lips touched mine, I noticed they were soft like satin. But when he started to move his lips on mine, I could also feel how strong they were. After a couple of seconds he swiped his tongue across my lips. I think he wanted me to open my mouth to him. That's when I pulled away."

"Were you scared?"

"No, I just didn't feel it." I shrugged.

"What do you mean, feel what?" I didn't understand why Alice was confused.

"When Jacob kissed me there was no electricity, no butterflies in my stomach, no pounding heartbeat. Don't get me wrong, it was a nice kiss. He did nothing wrong, but I expected more." My eyes darted up to her for approval.

"I know what you're talking about. I still feel that way when I kiss Jasper, but that isn't always how it is. You aren't a real romantic Bella, so it may not feel that way when you kiss…"

"But I have…I mean…I think I will when it's the right guy," I stammered.

Alice raised her eyebrows at me. "Who have you kissed that made you feel that way?"

"Nobody, I was just saying I think it can be that way for me. And I am too a romantic! I just don't blubber about it all the time like other girls do," I snapped.

There was comfortable silence for a minute, while we both took a couple of bites of our food.

Alice wiped off her hands and took a sip of her coffee. "So, did you see my family there?"

"Yeah, Esme looked beautiful. I loved what you did with her hair." I answered excitedly.

There was another short silence. Then Alice leaned forward resting her arms on the table. "Did you see Edward, too?"

"Yup," shoving another bite into my mouth. I didn't want to talk about Edward. I didn't want to tell her how I almost fell over myself at the sight of him. How I couldn't quit looking for him all night. Or, that when he held me in his arms, I felt like I could stay there all of my life and be perfectly happy. Or, that the reason I couldn't enjoy my kiss with Jacob was because of him.

"Did you two talk, or dance?" She leaned even further on her arms towards me.

_Ding Dong_.

Yes! There was a god and he rang that doorbell so I wouldn't have to talk to Alice about my obsessive feelings for her brother. I jumped up from the table and ran to the door.

As I opened the door, my jaw dropped when I saw a man holding a giant bouquet of flowers. His hands held onto a transparent, aqua colored, round vase, full of at least two-dozen gerbera daisies. The colors of pink, fuchsia, orange, red, yellow, and purple could make anyone feel warm and happy inside.

The delivery man had to interrupt my stupor. "Uh, I have a flower delivery for a Miss Bella Swan," he said reading my name off of his clipboard.

My heart leapt. Nobody had ever sent me flowers before. At this point I didn't care who they were from, someone had sent _me_ flowers. I heard Alice dance up behind me and gasp.

"Wow, Bella. Those are beautiful." She had a happy smirk on her face. "I wonder who they're from." Alice reached over and took the clipboard from the delivery man who was gawking at her beauty. She signed for the flowers, and I took the bouquet.

After thanking the delivery man, Alice and I walked back into the kitchen and I set the flowers on the center of the table. I pulled the card from the arrangement and read the message. A smile spread across my face as I read the words.

Alice was practically bouncing in her seat. "What does it say?"

When I looked up at Alice's ridiculously giddy face, I felt myself almost want to bounce up and down too.

I cleared my throat, and lifted the card up in front of my face.

"_Bella, _

_Thank you, for a wonderful evening. I'm sorry if the kiss was too forward, but I'm not sorry that you now know how I feel. I'll be here waiting if you ever decide that I'm what you want. _

_Yours, Jacob_"

When I looked at Alice, I saw her face fall again.

"What Alice? Do you not like Jacob?"

"No, I like Jacob. I don't know him that well, but I have no problem with him. Why would you say that?" She asked tilting her head to one side.

"When I said that we kissed you got this disappointed look on your face, and then when I read that the flowers were from Jacob you got the same face. What is that?" I wasn't irritated with Alice, just confused. If she knew something that I didn't, I wanted her to tell me.

"I didn't think you two were very serious. Whenever you and I have talked about it, you always seemed uninterested."

I stared down at my hands, my thumbs twirling together, wondering how Alice always found a way to force me to deal with my insecurities. I was never uninterested in Jacob. I was just more interested in someone else. Someone else who was never going to want me the way I wanted him.

As I sat in silence, I could see Alice start to worry. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's not that I didn't like Jacob, I just was unsure. Let's face it ,Alice, I'm coming up on thirty and the men aren't beating down my door. Jacob is great. He is everything I could want in a man. I've just built this silly notion in my head of what love should be like, and I'm waiting for something that probably doesn't exist. I need to let go of my silly girl fantasies. Edward was right, that stuff only exists on chic flicks." I heard a groan from Alice that I am sure I wasn't supposed to hear.

Alice looked directly into my eyes. "Bella, don't you dare settle for something that isn't exactly what you want. You are smart, athletic, strong, successful, a wonderful daughter and friend, and you're beautiful. I know you don't see it, but trust me other people do. The only reason you aren't beating men off with sticks, is you basically tell them to leave you alone before they can even try. I know there is someone out there for you who will make you feel exactly how you think you should. Maybe you already know him."

I knew she was right, that there was someone who made me feel the way I wanted to feel. Problem was he was feeling those same things for someone else.

_Ring, Ring_.

Following the sound of my phone, I hurried through the living room to my purse, reached in and dug for my phone.

Jacob's name was across the caller ID screen. I tried to control my excitement, and said, "Hello?"

"Bella, it's Jacob," he announced.

"Hey, can you hang on just one second."

"Sure, sure." I could always picture what ten-year-old Jacob was like when he said that. I thought it was adorable.

I dropped the phone from my ear and covered the speaker. "Hey, Alice, it's Jacob. I'm going to take this in the other room. Are you good for a couple of minutes?"

"Of course, actually I'm going to head out. I'll see you tonight at dinner, right?"

"Yeah." Alice hugged me good-bye and was out the door.

I hurried over to the couch and curled up in the corner, pulling a blanket up over my lap. I put the phone back up to my ear and asked, "Jake, you still there?"

"I'm here," he answered tiredly.

"Hey, before you say anything I want to thank you for the beautiful flowers. I loved them, they weren't necessary, but I loved them." I was sure he could hear how pleased I was.

"I'm glad you liked them. And I meant what I said in the card Bella, I'm not going anywhere."

It was silent for a couple of seconds. I couldn't help but think of the conversation Alice and I just had. I contemplated whether I really liked Jacob or if I was settling. There was nothing I could find wrong with Jacob. He was wonderful, he treated me good, I was comfortable with him, and was happy just being me with him. I wasn't settling dating Jacob. Dating Jacob, was me trying to move forward. Right then I determined that I had to rid myself of all feelings other than friendship towards Edward Cullen. The question was _how_?

"Bella, are you still there?" Jacob's deep voice penetrated my thoughts.

Coming out of my reverie, I shook my head slightly. "Yeah, I'm here. Sorry, I'm just still a little tired from last night."

"Ah, well I'll let you go then. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with the flowers and to set up our date for this week. Remember, you're going to torture me?" He gave a little chuckle, probably remembering my threat last night, to torture him.

"Don't laugh. I'll make good on my promise. What night were you thinking?"

"Does Saturday work?"

"Yeah, that will be fine. I'll see you Saturday then. Jacob thanks again for the flowers."

"Thank you for a great night. I'll talk to you later. Bye." And then there was just a dial tone.

Dropping the phone on the couch I let out a long sigh. There was so much going on in my head. I needed to clear it, and I needed a plan to rid myself of Edward Cullen. There was only one solution. I needed to run. There were still a couple of hours until I needed to leave for dinner. I definitely had time. Jumping up from the couch, I ran upstairs to change my clothes.

Within a couple of minutes I was out the door. I walked down to the end of my driveway, kicked my leg up on the back of my car, and leaned over into a stretch. As I looked over to the right of the house, I noticed a black SUV with dark tinted windows sitting along the curb across the street. It was unusual because there wasn't a house on the other side of the street, and my house was the last house on this side of the street for about a half mile. All that surrounded the house was forest really. While inspecting the car, I noticed a movement inside. The tint was dark enough I couldn't see who it was, but there was definitely someone sitting in the driver seat. Goosebumps ran up my arms, something was telling me not to linger here. Charlie wasn't home, so I decided not to go back inside. I quickly ended my stretching and I started to run up the street the opposite direction of the parked car.

When I reached the intersection at the end of my street, I tried to subtly turn around and look at the strange vehicle. It was still parked in front of my house but had changed directions and was now facing me. As I rounded the corner I put my ear buds in my ears, but kept the volume low enough so that I could still be aware of my surroundings. I also decided to pick up some speed, and change my normal route a little. About ten minutes into my run, I heard a car slowly approach me. My stomach lurched and I felt like I was running in slow motion. I kept the car in my peripheral vision, but would not look over at the car. The car had only been next to me about five seconds but it felt like eternity. With a piercing tire squeal, the black SUV peeled out down the street.

My heart was racing, and I started to feel like I might cry. I did an about face and ran home as fast as I could. Upon entering the house, I dead bolted the front door and ran to make sure all the other doors were locked.

I didn't understand why I was so jolted by that. There could have been a million reasons why that car was sitting on the street and then slowly drove away right next to me. _Right?_ No, no there wasn't a reason. My gut told me there was definitely something about the situation that was not right. My body slightly trembled as shivers ran up my spine.

I debated whether I should call Charlie or not. No I was looking into this too much, I was being a baby. Whether I was being a baby or not, I didn't want to be alone in the house anymore. I ran up the stairs to take a shower and go over to the Cullen's a little early.

Getting to the Cullen's early meant I might get to have some one on one time with Esme. My relationship with Esme had always been very much like a mother-daughter relationship, at least for me it had been. With such a flighty and absent mother, I'd always turned to Esme. I was always envious of my best friend because of the structured family life she had.

"Knock, Knock." I yelled through the house as I let myself in. "Esme?"

"Bella, is that you honey?" I heard Esme call from the kitchen. "I'm in the kitchen."

As I rounded the kitchen doorway, there was Esme drying her hands off with a towel at the sink. She turned and spotted me across the kitchen, giving me her winning smile, which instantly caused a smile to cover my face.

"Bella, you're early. I'm so happy. I feel like you and I never really get to talk alone." She walked me to the granite island and pulled out a barstool for me. I sat down and she walked to the other side to continue frosting some delicious looking brownies. "How's your dad?"

"Uh, he's fine. I really don't see him all that much. He's always over at Sue's." I couldn't even mention my dad's "friend" and keep a straight face.

A little smirk covered Esme's face, too. "So I've heard." We both started to giggle and I shook my head. "How's it been since the move?"

"Pretty good I guess. I met with a client this week out in Port Angeles. The meeting went okay. I can tell he will be hard to manage."

Esme looked up at me concerned. "What do you mean?"

I let out a long breath before trying to explain James. "He thinks he is god's gift to the literary world, and to women. He asked me out and of course I said no. I just get the impression that wasn't going to be the last time he'll ask me out. Have you ever met someone and you just knew it wasn't going to be a good situation?"

"Oh, yes. It's good you are aware of your instincts, Bella. You should always follow what your gut tells you." She set aside the platter of brownies and picked up a handful of veggies and started washing them.

"Can I help?"

"Um, sure, why don't you dice up these veggies as I wash them?" She reached across the counter and handed me the knife and cutting bored. "What's wrong, Bella, you don't seem like yourself?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing."

"Bella, I know when something is wrong with my kids. Talk to me, sweetie." She put down the vegetables she was cleaning and walked around the island and sat next to me. I knew exactly where Alice got her nurturing from.

Deciding to surrender, I let out a long breath and dropped my head into my hands. "Everything, nothing, I don't know." Esme started rubbing small circles on my back, and that kind motherly gesture I always longed for opened up the flood gates I'd been holding for weeks. "I just feel like my life has been turned upside down. I wonder constantly if I made the right decision to come here. I worry about my dad, and I also get sad that he doesn't need me like I thought he would. Not that I wanted him to have to need me, but I didn't know it would feel like I was living alone."

"Have you talked to Charlie?" She reached across the island and grabbed me a paper towel.

Cleaning the tears and snot from my face I was able to take a deep breath to get my crying under control. I had cried twice since I had been here, once with Alice, and I wasn't able to get it all out because we were interrupted. The other was alone when I was running, but I never let it all out. Feeling the buildup of all my emotions the last couple of weeks, I knew this break down was inevitable. I'd just hoped it would be when I was all alone. I hadn't planned on alone time with Esme.

"No, Charlie and I…we don't talk about emotional stuff. Plus he is happy with Sue, and I don't think I've seen him like this since my mom left. I don't want him to feel guilty about that. It really isn't that bad. It's just all the little things combined make for one huge ball of emotion."

"What else is bothering you?" She continued to rub my back and run her fingers through my hair.

"Esme, have you ever had deep feelings for someone and knew you had to get rid of them. That for you to move on with life and feel better about yourself you had to free yourself from that person." I felt the sobs climbing up my throat. I knew they were going to be uncontrollable. I quickly brought the paper towel to my face and buried my face in my hands and let it all out.

Esme's arms were around me as soon as the guttural sound left my throat. "Shhh, shhhh, it's okay sweetheart."

Esme sat quietly while I got my emotions under control. A couple of minutes later I removed my face from Esme's shirt. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, we all need a good cry every once in a while, if not it could get a lot worse than this." She smiled trying to cheer me up. "Why do you think you have to get rid of these feelings for someone?"

I let out a long breath. "Because the feelings will never be returned. I've been seeing Jacob, and he wants to move forward into a relationship, but I'm unsure about it. Jacob is a great guy." I looked up at Esme feeling a little better, and then I saw her face, which strangely reminded me of Alice's face this morning when I talked about Jacob. Maybe I was just being paranoid. "I can't find fault with him. But something is holding me back, and I'm pretty positive it's these other feelings I have. When it comes to men, I've always felt awkward. I've never really had a boyfriend, and I've never been with a man." I looked into her eyes to see if she understood what I was saying. The corner of Esme's mouth raised and she gave me a slight nod. "After all these years I think I figured it out. I have spent my whole life comparing every man to this other man and they never measured up." The tears started to come again, and my voice was trembling. "And I'm tired of being alone. I need to let go, and I'm desperate to figure out how. Can you please tell me how?"

"Tell you how to what?" Came the one voice in the world I longed to hear and dreaded hearing all at the same time.

How long had he been there? Oh gosh, I can't believe I just poured out my soul about an unattainable man to his mother. I hoped Esme had no idea who I was talking about. I didn't even turn around. I didn't want Edward to see me weak like this. Then, of course, before Esme or I could respond he walked over to the counter. He picked up a carrot and started to chew on it. Naturally, he looked gorgeous. He must have been at work because he was in scrubs, which made him even sexier. Then he looked up at me and saw my face.

Edward's eyes doubled in size, he dropped his carrot and reached out and grabbed hold of my hand. "Are you okay? What happened?" His eyes were boring into mine in a state of panic. He looked sincerely concerned about me.

I slowly slid my hand away from his and I noticed Esme watching the whole interaction very intently.

"Edward, why don't you go and get changed, and give Bella and I a couple of minutes to finish our talk."

Esme and Edward stared at each other for a moment as if an unspoken conversation was happening between them. Then Edward nodded his head and left the room.

Esme was quiet for a moment, probably to make sure Edward was out of ear shot. "Bella, it's very hard to let go of emotions, especially ones that are as deep as yours sound. You have very good instincts, I just told you that. Listen to what they tell you. Emotions of the heart cannot be controlled by the brain. You have to do what your heart is telling you. If your heart is telling you to let go of your feelings for this other person, then do it. Do whatever it takes. But if your heart doesn't want to let go, maybe it knows what you can't see yet. I wish I could fix this for you, and take away your sadness, but I can't. Honey, you're a wonderful person. I watched you last night and you were by far the most beautiful woman at that gala. You have everything to offer a man, and you _will _have the choice of whom ever you want. Will you trust me on that?" She held my face in both of her hands forcing me to look into her eyes.

"I'm going to say yes, but I can't lie to you. I don't feel like I'll have the choice in this situation," I mumbled.

Esme stood from the stool with a knowing smile on her face. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed the top of my head. She whispered so softly, I didn't know if I was meant to hear her. "Be patient with him."

My eyebrows furrowed together, and before I could look up she was on the other side of the counter again. I reached across the counter, grabbed a bell pepper, and started dicing. "Something weird happened to me today."

Esme turned off the sink, as she washed her last vegetable and looked up at me. "Really, what happened?"

I proceeded to tell her about the car outside of my house today and what happened while I was running. I was trying to laugh it off. Once I told the story I realized how unreasonable I'd been and that it really wasn't a big deal. Then I looked up at Esme, and she had an angry look on her face.

Edward slowly walked into the kitchen, his eyes immediately meeting mine. "Is everything okay?" I nodded my head, and he sat himself down on the bar stool next to me.

"No, everything's not okay," Esme spoke sternly.

Edward and my eyes darted up to Esme to see what was wrong. She looked right over to Edward and proceeded to recount the story I'd just told her, about the black SUV.

Edward looked over at me intently. "Did you tell Charlie about what happened? Did you get a license plate number?"

"No and no. I was out for a run. It wasn't like I had my Nancy Drew notebook with me. Besides, I was too scared at the moment to think about that. It's not that big of a deal; it was probably some crazy coincidence." I tried to shrug it off like it was no big deal. This was Forks, for crying out loud. I didn't like having people worrying about me. It was bad enough I had that melt down with Esme already. I didn't want the Cullens worrying about this, too.

He shook his head at me. "I don't think you should go running by yourself anymore." Edward was completely serious.

I started laughing at him. "You're crazy. I'm not giving up running, because of one strange car. If I give that up, I'll go crazy."

Then just like a roar, Emmett yelled from the living room, "Party's here!"

Esme and I started to laugh and I got up from the bar stool to go and greet my favorite little girls.

Edward grabbed onto my arm. "Bella, please, don't run alone anymore." He was practically begging me. Why was he so worried about something so minute?

"Look, I'm running every day. If you want to run with me you are more than welcome to. I promise if it happens again, I'll tell Charlie and carry pepper spray." I gave him a smile, but he didn't smile back. I pulled my arms from his and headed into the living room.

Soon everyone had arrived for dinner, except I notice that Tanya wasn't there. I just saw her last night, for a short while, so I knew she wasn't out of town. Maybe she was working. Of course, Esme prepared a delicious meal. She is the best cook I know. Once dinner was over the women all retreated to the kitchen to clean up, the men headed to the living room to watch Sports Center, and I headed upstairs to watch a movie the girls insisted I see. They couldn't believe I hadn't heard of the movie _Enchanted_. We all lay sprawled on the floor watching the movie. Surprisingly, I really liked it. Forty five minutes into the movie I noticed the girls were all asleep. I quietly got up from under Isabel, and shut off the television and lights.

Once I reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw the whole group had congregated in the family room. "Em, Rose, the girls are all asleep."

"Perfect," announced Emmett. "It's hot tub time."

There were yeses hissed all around the room, and everyone started getting up.

"What?" I asked.

"Tonight is hot tub night. We just had to wait for the girls to fall asleep." Rosalie stated with excitement. "Didn't anyone tell you?"

"No, but that's fine I'll just go home. I didn't bring a suit." I was disappointed; there was nothing waiting for me at home.

"Not a problem," chimed Alice. "I have a suit you can borrow." Everyone had left the room to change; it was just her and I now.

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Sorry, Alice, but I'm not squeezing into anything you can wear."

She grabbed my arm and dragged me up the stairs. "Why do you have to be so difficult sometimes?"

As we entered Alice's old room I saw a shopping bag on her bed. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at her knowingly. "What is this?"

"What? This?" She asked, picking up her shopping bag. "Well, Mom mentioned we were getting in the hot tub tonight and I needed a new suit, so I just picked one up for you, too."

As I watched her dig in the shopping bag, I worried wondering what kind of bathing suit Alice would pick out for me.

She finally held up the suit for me. "There's no way I'm wearing that Alice."

Alice slammed her hands down on her hips. "Why not? It's hot, and I spent a lot of money on this. Most women would kill to have your body and you can pull this bikini off better than anyone I know. Now take it! Go in that bathroom and put it on. If you still hate it, I'll take it back, but you have to show me first."

I snatched the bikini from her knowing she wouldn't give up and I really didn't have another option other than going home.

"Hey, Alice," I yelled through the bathroom door. "Why isn't Tanya here tonight? She left the gala early last night. Is she sick?"

It was quiet for a few seconds, I started to wonder if she left the room. Then she spoke up. "I'm not sure. I guess you'd have to ask Edward."

As I changed into the bikini, all I could think was, _I'm so glad I took care of all of my shaving this morning_. When I finally had the thing on, I turned around to look at myself in the full length mirror on the back of the door.

My mouth hung open, stunned at how good I looked in that bikini. That was definitely a self-confidence boosting moment. The pale pink, almost nude color, looked perfect with my skin. The slightly revealing halter-top gave my chest all the accentuation it needed. The low-rise bottoms had a gathered fold over waste band, with an off-set cream colored buckle. Looking in the mirror, I definitely had a moment of knowing all my running paid off in more ways than one. For the first time in my life, I felt sexy. I was so going to be keeping this bikini.

Even though I felt confident in the bathroom, walking out in front of someone else wearing it was a whole other playing field. I slowly opened the door and stepped out.

Alice let out a piercing squeal. "Oh my gosh, Bella. You look amazing! I swear I should be your personal shopper or designer in this case!"

"You made this?!"

"Of course." She continued to fold up her clothes as if it were no big deal that she made this amazing piece of clothing.

Then something she said earlier sunk in. "Wait a minute. I thought you said you picked this up when you were out shopping."

"Did I?" She shrugged. "I must have mixed that up with something else. I made this for you. I knew it would look amazing on you. Now come on let's go." She grabbed my hand pulling me out the door.

I resisted a little. "Wait don't you want to grab some towels to wrap around us?"

"No. Why? Towels are down by the hot tub." She continued to pull me down the hall.

"Well let me grab a t-shirt or something, you're whole family is out there."

"And they will all see you when you take off the shirt too, so what difference does it make." She huffed.

Surrendering, I let her drag me towards the backyard. Everyone was already in the hot tub. As we reached the French doors leading out to the hot tub, Alice skipped off and jumped in next to Jasper leaving me alone. I tried to creep out the door so nobody would notice me. That plan didn't work when Emmett let out a loud whistle. I instantly knew my whole body was a brilliant shade of red. Everyone turned to look at me. Alice had a look of pride as she announced to everyone that she made my bikini. Everyone had turned back around and gone back to their original conversations, except one pair of beautiful green eyes. Edward was very slowly and very obviously looking me up and down. I needed an escape from his stare. I looked into the hot tub, and of course since everyone was paired. The only open seat was next to Edward. I felt my stomach plummet. Sitting next to him with both of us half naked was not the way I was going to get over him. He was still looking at me.

Rosalie's voice broke in, "See something you like, Edward?"

Snickers broke out all around the hot tub and for once I got to see Edward do the blushing.

"Yeah, Edward, roll your tongue back up in your mouth," Emmett was barely able to get out between his hysterics. That was one thing this family loved was teasing each other any chance they got.

Using the distraction, I hurried into the tub while Edward was busy punching Emmett. I tried to sit as far away from Edward without touching Carlisle, who was sitting on the other side of me.

We all spent the next twenty minutes laughing at Rosalie's story of how Emmett had forgotten their anniversary. After a little while, I became more and more comfortable sitting next to Edward. Sitting with him started to feel natural. The conversation continued as my mind drifted in another direction. What was I going to do about Jacob? I felt a slight smile cross my face thinking about the flowers he'd sent this morning. He'd kissed me last night and I didn't hate it. That had to mean something. I was broken from my thoughts when I felt Edward's arm and leg press against mine. I felt the whole right side of my body get tingly. I looked over at him and he continued to look straight ahead towards the conversation going on, as if nothing happened.

Rosalie was still telling the same story, but somehow I'd missed the majority of it. All I could figure out was that Emmett obviously forgot their anniversary, Edward had bought them a trip as a present, and he was going to watch their girls. I think?

"Hey honey, where are those brownies I saw in the kitchen earlier?" Carlisle asked pulling Esme further into his body.

"Oh, I almost forgot about them. I'll go get them ready. Give me fifteen minutes everyone and I'll have dessert ready." Esme slid out of the hot tub, with Carlisle right behind her. Esme looked phenomenal for a woman her age and having had three children.

Everyone seemed to be exchanging looks with each other in the hot tub, like there was some secret I didn't know about. What was the deal with all of the Cullens today, they were acting so weird.

Suddenly, Rosalie stood up. "I'm going to go check on the girls." Rose stepped up the steps and out of the hot tub. She too looked amazing after three kids in her little red bikini. Emmett eyed his wife, then stood up grabbing her rear, as he followed her out.

Within a minute, Alice jumped up and announced that she needed to pee. "Jasper, will you carry me in?" batting her eyes up at him.

"Of course, my lady." Jasper scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the house.

I realized in a matter of minutes there had gone from eight of us in the hot tub, to just Edward and me.

Edward whispered, "subtle" under his breath.

"What?" I turned towards him. I realized even though the hot tub had emptied, Edward was still pressed right up against me.

"Nothing."

Feeling a little awkward, I decided I should leave too. "Um, I think I'll go and see if Esme needs any help." I started to get up, and Edward grabbed onto my thigh.

My face darted towards his hand on my leg, and he quickly pulled it away. "Uh, my mom's got it. She said give her fifteen minutes and she'd be ready. Hey Bella, I'm sorry I went all cave man on you about not running alone earlier. I know you hate that."

I slid back down next to him leaving a little space between us now. "It's okay, it was a little creepy. Hopefully he isn't up at six-fifteen in the morning." I tried to laugh it off.

"So, did you have fun at the gala last night?" There was something very unusual and awkward about the way Edward was talking to me tonight. He was never this formal with me.

"Sure, it was alright. Galas aren't really my kind of thing, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Plus, getting dressed up every once in a while is kind of fun."

Edward turned his body towards mine, his eyes piercing into mine. "You did look amazing last night."

My heart leapt, and we both sat there staring at each other. I knew I should be saying something, but I had no idea why my brain was completely blank.

"Hey guys, desserts ready," Emmett yelled.

Edward jumped out ahead of me and held out a hand to help me out. I caught his eyes roaming me again. I blushed and had to look away.

I walked towards the stack of towels and Edward grabbed the top towel and shook it open wrapping it around me.

"Thanks." I said, turning around and looking at him. He nodded. I started to walk away when Edward called me back to him. I spun on my heel and took a step back towards him.

He was rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. I couldn't help but let my eyes roam his body. He hadn't grabbed his own towel, so he stood there with a chiseled, bare chest, covered in droplets of water. His shorts hung low enough for me to see the v on his lower stomach before it disappeared below his waistband.

"Bella," my eyes immediately returned to his face. "Do you remember you owe me one for my victory?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "What do you want? You have to be reasonable."

"Well, I am watching the girls starting Wednesday, I'm thinking I'll be pretty desperate for some adult interaction by Saturday and so I was thinking you could come and spend the day with me and the girls." He rambled his request so quickly, I barely understood.

"That's your payment? Hanging out with me?" I felt like I was missing something.

"Oh, no you won't be just hanging out. You will be bathing, changing diapers, cooking meals. The list could go on forever really." He was laughing now. This was normal Edward.

"Well you can quit your gloating. I've got a date that night, so I could hang out in the morning and then leave by evening."

Edward's smile weakened. "Oh no, you owe me for the whole day and evening. So I guess, it's Friday then."

I wondered what I was getting myself into. "Fine, I'll be over after my run." I started to go into the house again.

"Oh, and Bella, just so you know, I'll be following you home tonight to make sure nobody is parked outside your house."

I started to argue with him when he put up his hand. "You aren't going to change my mind. I only told you so you wouldn't be scared a psycho was following you home."

Glaring at him I said, "Oh, I think one will be." Then I spun on my heels darting for the house, listening to Edward laugh behind me.

*******************************************************************

**Chapter Notes:** Who is the creepy person in the SUV? Were you disappointed the flowers were from Jacob? I know you guys wanted babysitting this chapter but it will be next chapter. We needed to feel Bella's struggles first.

Here is a link to see a picture of Bella's hot bikini. Thank you, bellasunderstudy for finding the perfect bikini. .?namespace=productDisplay&origin=&event=display&prnbr=CP-237688&page=3&cgname=OSSWMBIKZZZ&rfnbr=1232

You can also find the link on my profile page.

Nominations have now begun for the Eddie and Bellie and the Razzle Dazzle Award. So go nominate your favorite stories. .

Finally go and check us out at the Twilighted Forums the link is on my profile page, we have some good times over there. And go ahead click that little review button, you know you want to.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer:** Blah, Blah, Blah! It's all Stephs!

Super long chapter with a lot of stuff happening. Thanks to Ginny and Lynelle, you two are fabulous! Proceed, and show me some love at the end.

**Broken Hearted**

The butterflies in my stomach could not be controlled my eyes kept flashing to my rearview mirror. Knowing those were Edward's taillights following behind me, made me giddy. Even if he didn't love me, he cared enough to go out of his way to make sure I was safe.

_Get a grip, Bella._

Forcing my thoughts away from the wonderful man driving behind me, I refocused on my conversation with Esme. Her words kept flashing through my mind.

"_Bella, it's very hard to let go of emotions especially ones that are as deep as yours sound. Bella, you have very good instincts, I just told you that. Listen to what they tell you. Emotions of the heart cannot be controlled by the brain. You have to do what your heart is telling you. If your heart is telling you to let go of your feelings for this other person, than do it. Do whatever it takes. But if you're heart doesn't want to let go, maybe it knows what you can't see yet." _

Esme was so wise. I just hoped that I had the strength to follow her advice, either way. If I decided I really needed to let go of all I felt for Edward, I knew I'd have to rid myself of him completely. I just didn't know if I had the strength to stay away. If my heart told me to hold onto all that I felt for him, it could destroy me if he never returned those feelings. What would it do to me, if I held onto all those feelings, and I ended up alone watching him get married and have a family? I felt a lump building in my throat as images of Edward and Tanya with a family flashed through my head.

Once I pulled into my driveway, I rested my head on my steering wheel trying to rid my mind of those thoughts. I really needed to figure out what I was going to do. I guess tomorrow's run was going to be a therapy session, instead of a pleasurable occasion.

My car door pulled open, I jerked up in my seat, and let out a small scream.

In half a second Edward was squatted down outside the car. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to scare you. I was trying to be a gentleman."

"It's okay. I was just lost in thought, and I'd forgotten you followed me home. You didn't need to get out of your car. You can see there is nobody on the street. I feel bad that you feel like you constantly have to watch out for me. I swear I was just fine taking care of myself before."

Edward had a smirk on his face, and held out a hand to help me from my car. "Yes, and we just saw how aware you are of your surroundings. It's not a problem; I like taking care of you. Not that I don't think you are capable, but I'd like to walk you to the door just to make sure everything's okay inside."

My eyes darted to the curb. No SUV, but Charlie's cruiser was there. "No need, Charlie is here. Thank you for the offer though." I took a couple of steps away, and then turned back towards Edward. "Where did this protective Edward come from?"

Edward looked down at the ground, and ran his fingers through his hair. He was so hot when he did that. Then he looked up with a barely there smile and shrugged his shoulders.

Returning the tiny smile, I gave a small wave and ran up to the door. I peeked out the door as I closed it and saw Edward still standing there watching me. He had no idea the effect his gazing had on me. I could barely will my feet up the stairs. This has got to stop.

The next morning, I noticed I was full of nerves getting ready for my run. I did my best to push those nerves aside. I just kept telling myself that yesterday was not a big deal and just because it happened once didn't mean it would happen again. It was probably teenagers making out in the car.

Before I opened the front door, I took a deep cleansing breath and shoved my nerves way down deep inside. As I descended the stairs I cautiously looked around for a car. Once it sunk in that there were no cars parked on the street, I let out a sigh of relief. I took my time stretching this morning, but I still kept the volume low on my music just to be cautious.

As my legs hit their stride, I really started to feel better. All of my fear and nerves just floated away. My thoughts, of course, went straight to the conversation I had with Esme, triggering a whole new set of butterflies. Unfortunately, that conversation had also plagued me most of the night, too. I came to the conclusion that the feelings had not disappeared for twenty years and that they probably weren't going away unless something forced them to. Or, if I fell in love with someone else, like, maybe Jacob. I'd tried fighting it and that never worked so it was time to see what happens when I accept them. As long as these feelings continued to stay, and it wasn't too painful I was going to go with it.

The sound of a car driving by pulled me from my thoughts. My body went rigid as I realized the car was a black SUV slowly approaching me. My heart was accelerating, and I felt a lump in my throat. I maintained a solemn expression. I refused to let this person know they were scaring me to death. I picked up my pace so I could pass the car quickly. My mind went into over drive trying to figure out a quick escape. Charlie was still at the house when I left. All I needed to do was get home. As I rounded the corner, I felt my lower lip start to tremble.

Suddenly, my racing heart thudded to a stop. My ears perked as I heard quick footsteps approaching me from behind. In fact they were running. I willed myself to push even harder. It seemed the faster I ran the faster the steps behind me got. I could feel hysteria starting to ooze through my body. The steps were dangerously close. I balled up my hands into fists prepared to fight as hard as I could. When a hand grabbed my left shoulder, I let out what I thought was a blood curdling scream. All that came out was a desperate cry, and I started to fall.

"Bella?! Bella, what's wrong?" The most soothing voice sounded from the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen. Edward grabbed me from the pavement and pulled me into his arms, holding me like he would a small child.

My body was shuddering against Edward's. My hands clung to Edward's chest, my fingers pulling at his sweaty t-shirt. His arms tightened around my back, and one of his hands stroked my hair trying to clam my hysterics. I could feel his head turning around as he observed our surroundings.

"Sshhh, Bella, sshhh. It's okay; I won't let anything happen to you. Tell me what's wrong so I can make it better," he pleaded.

My breath came in gasps as I tried to gain better control of myself. My hands slid down his sides to his waist, but still clinging to his shirt. My breaths started to synchronize with his gentle strokes down my back.

Edward loosened his grip on me, and moved his hands to the sides of my face. He tilted my head back encouraging me to look at him. "Bella, you need to tell me what happened. Are you hurt?"

Not quite in control enough to speak, I just shook my head letting him know I wasn't hurt. He let out a long breath and pulled me into him again.

As I took a final breath I felt more in control. "I was running, and I thought everything was okay. Then about a mile or two back, the black SUV passed me driving really slowly." Edward's grip tightened even more around me, and I swear I heard a growl in his chest. "I was trying to figure out a quick route home without going back the way I came. Then I heard your footsteps closing in behind me and I thought you were him." I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly, not willing to be free of him yet.

"Oh, Bella. I'm so sorry. I should have called to you, but you had your ear buds in; I didn't think you would hear me." I could hear guilt and pain in his voice. "I need to get you home. Do you think you can run back with me? Do you want to jump on my back?"

Dropping my arms from his waist, I leaned further away from him to look at his face. "No, I'm okay to run as long as you stay with me."

The corner of his mouth lifted into a smile, and he ran his fingers down the side of my face. "I won't leave you unless you ask me to." The way he stared into my eyes, I felt like he was saying more but I couldn't think about that now.

Edward laced his hand with mine, and we turned around, heading back towards my house. As we rounded the corner of my street, I felt calm immediately followed by fear. There, sitting in the same spot as yesterday, was the black SUV.

Edward's grip tightened on my hand. "Is that the car?" He asked, nodding his head towards the vehicle.

I just nodded my head. Edward grabbed my waist and moved me to the inside of the sidewalk and then latched hands with mine again. Barely leaning his head towards mine, he said, "I won't let anything happen to you." I believed him whole heartedly.

The way Edward stared down that vehicle left me afraid for the person in that SUV. "Bella, once we are close enough I need you to help me remember the license plate number, okay." I nodded my head.

We had reached a distance where we could start to read numbers on the plates, when the car went flying down the street too fast for us to get plate numbers. Edward changed his position so he was directly behind me with his hands holding my waist. We ran into the house and Edward rushed me to the couch.

"Charlie! Charlie!" Edward yelled, from the couch next to me. He reached into the pocket of his hoodie, and pulled out his cell phone. He punched a couple of buttons and put the phone to his ear.

"Emmett," he spoke with a force I'd never heard him use. "We need you at the Swan's now." Charlie entered the room pulling a t-shirt over his head, and began to wipe the sleep from his eyes. "Yeah, the car was just here."

As Edward slammed the phone shut, he looked up at Charlie. Charlie looked back and forth between Edward and me. "Bella, what's going on?"

I gave Charlie the condensed and mild version of what had happened yesterday and this morning. He immediately disregarded what I said and looked at Edward. They talked about it in a more detailed account. I sat further back into the couch, coming to the conclusion that I would no longer be included in this conversation and resolution. I looked down at my twiddling fingers and my eye caught something my body hadn't. Edward's hand was resting on my thigh. I was entranced by his action. As I watched, his hand would occasionally squeeze my leg, I would look up to his face when he did this and I realized he wasn't even aware of what he was doing.

There was a quick rap on the door and then Emmett came walking in. The next forty-five minutes I spent staring at Edward's hand as he, Emmett, and Charlie discussed what needed to happen. The conclusion was that I had to go to the station today and fill out a report, I wasn't to go running without Edward, and if Charlie was going to be gone at night I had to be with one of the Cullens. I decided against putting up a fight, which is what normally would have happened. One, I knew I would never win an argument against the three of them. And two, I was terrified enough to want to be protected. Emmett left to go to the station once they were done with their lecture, Charlie went upstairs to shower so he could take me to the station, and Edward was leaving for an all day shift at the hospital.

"Thank you, Edward," I said, standing at the door.

"I'm just sorry my showing up made it worse for you initially." He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. "I was coming to find you, to keep you safe, and instead I terrified you."

"I was already terrified, you just intensified it, and then…" I looked down at the ground, and rocked back and forth between my two feet. "Then you made it all better." Looking up into his beautiful green eyes, I did feel safe.

"It's not all better, Bella. Will you please not go running or anywhere without me or someone else?"

I just nodded, biting into my lower lip.

"Bella, call me if you need anything. I'll definitely see you on Friday, but hopefully I'll see you sooner." He reached over and dragged his fingers slowly down the side of my arm. "I need to get to work soon. Be safe." And then he was gone, leaving a fire on my arm where his fingers had been.

The rest of the morning was spent taking a long hot shower, going down to the station with Charlie to recount my story for an official report, and taking a long nap.

Persistent knocking on the door awoke me from my slumber. I glanced over to the clock and saw that it was four o'clock in the afternoon. I put my hands to my face trying to get my eyes to focus. Then I heard Charlie yelling for me to come to the door. I stretched a little, and let out a few yawns before getting up. Hurriedly, I grabbed my bra from the floor and tried to put it on with the teenage trick of doing it without taking off your shirt.

"Bella!" Charlie yelled from down the stairs again.

"Hold on! Geez! I'm coming." I yelled right back.

Still feeling a little groggy I stumbled down the stairs a little. Who was I kidding? I didn't need to be groggy to stumble on some stairs.

Standing there in the entry with a beaming smile, and a couple of bags of what smelled like Chinese food was Jacob. I felt a little excitement over come me. Then it immediately disappeared when I realized I was in my pajamas, with hair that most likely resembled a haystack, and I probably had a drool line down the side of my face. He made an over exaggerated wave with his hand, and I bit into my lower lip returning a small wave.

"I brought us dinner," Jacob said, holding up the bags of food.

The left side of my mouth rose into a half smile, as I said, "There better be some orange chicken in there."

"Of, course, and you look lovely by the way." He could barely keep a straight face.

"Shut up," I said as I turned towards the kitchen. "What are you even doing here anyways?"

"I just came by to hang out."

Just as I was about to ask him why he was really here, Charlie came strolling in. "Oh good, Jacob, you're here," he said, waltzing past me to the fridge.

My eyes darted to Jacob suspiciously, then back to Charlie again. "How did you know Jacob was coming by?" I crossed my arms over my chest with a look of annoyance.

Charlie took a quick glance at Jacob, and then he slumped his shoulders forward. "I had a follow-up appointment today, and I told Jacob about what happened to you, so…"

"So, you arranged for me to have a babysitter tonight?!" I pushed myself off of the counter. "You can both leave."

Trying to get my anger across I stormed out of the kitchen. I had only taken three steps out of the kitchen, when Jacobs's strong hands grabbed my shoulders. His body pressed up against the back of mine, causing me to lose my focus for a moment. Still keeping a firm grip on my shoulders, he leaned down putting his lips to my ears and said, "You know I would take any excuse to spend more time with you, Bella." Then he released me.

A small smile crept onto my face. I had never been wanted the way Jacob expressed his desire for me. I had to admit, regardless of the fact that I wasn't sure how I felt about Jacob; it still felt good being wanted. Without turning around I muttered, "Fine you can stay, but only because I'm terrified and starving."

"I'll take what I can get."

I spun around and smiled at Jacob and we headed back to the kitchen.

Feeling bad about my little outburst, I decided to apologize to Charlie. "Sorry about my tantrum, Dad."

Charlie sat down in the chair next to me and cleared his throat. "Bella, do you remember I was supposed to go with Sue to visit her daughter Leah in Seattle this week?" Charlie asked timidly.

"Yeah." I was confused by his hesitancy. I thought he knew I was not blind to his relationship with Sue.

"I can cancel if you want me to. You know, with everything that is going on..."

Oh, I'd forgotten about that. I didn't want to be alone, but I also didn't want to be babysat like I was tonight either. There was no way I was going to let Charlie cancel his trip with Sue either. "Charlie, I'll be fine. I'll have Alice come and stay with me."

"Now Bella, don't get mad." It was never going to be good when someone starts a sentence like that. "I don't want this to be a repeat of what happened when I said Alice didn't make you safe on your drive from L.A., but Alice is not going to keep you safe from some stalker." Jacob snickered from the other side of the room.

My mouth almost started to argue with my dad, but I knew he was right. I had been scared enough this morning to know Alice wasn't going to help me in a situation like that. "I'll work something out I promise. I'll call and see if I can go and stay at her house or the Cullen's."

Charlie eyed me for a moment to see if I was telling the truth.

"Trust me the fear from this morning isn't gone. I will not stay here alone tonight."

"Okay, kid. I'm going to head out then. You two have fun tonight." Charlie started to leave and then turned around and kissed the top of my head. "Love you, Bells." Then he bolted the room faster than I thought possible.

I wasn't sure if he would hear, but I still shouted out "Love you too."

"See you later Charlie." Jacob yelled, and then we heard the door shut.

Jacob and I dove into our food. I must have been really hungry because I didn't talk very much. That was one of the things that were great about Jacob, I could eat as much as I wanted in front of him, and even when it was silent it was never awkward. I was reaching for the boxes to fill my second plate, when there was a knock on the door.

Jacob and I both looked at each other, with our eyebrows raised.

"Do you want me to get it?" Jacob asked with his mouth full of chow-mien.

I shook my head. "No, I'll get it. I'll look out the window first."

Hesitantly, I got up and headed for the door. I pulled back the curtains to the window near the door. Of course, I couldn't see who was standing on the porch, but I knew the car against the curb.

"This is not going to be good, I can feel it." I murmured to myself out loud. I opened the door, and said, "Hey, what are you doing here?"

Edward shoved his hands deep into his jacket pocket. "I was on my way home from work, and thought I would stop and check on you. Where's Charlie?"

"He's with his _woman._" I smirked, waving him into the house. "Come on in, I was just eating some Chinese. I'm sure you're hungry." There was no way I was going to mention that Jacob was in there and have him bolt like last time. No matter what happens with either of them relationship wise, I knew they would both always be my friends. I didn't like having two friends that hated each other, so I thought maybe I could force these two to work out their differences.

I entered the kitchen first with Edward close behind. Jacob looked up and gave me his winning smile, and then he noticed Edward and his face went from elation to agitation.

Ignoring the scowls the two were giving each other, I walked to the cupboard and grabbed Edward a plate. "Sit down Edward." I gave in a non-negotiable tone.

The silence was deafening. I put the plate, fork, and glass down in front of Edward.

Edward's eyes darted up to my face. "Thank you, Bella." Then his eyes followed me around the table as I took my seat between the two toddlers.

The tension was killing me, but I refused to be the mediator between the two. Jacob's voice jolted the deafening quiet that had gone on for ten minutes. "So, Edward, shouldn't you be at work?"

Edward didn't turn his face up from his plate. Edward just looked at Jacob through the tops of his eyelids. "No, I was there all day. What are you doing here, Jacob?" Edward's tone was cold as ice. I was so glad I wasn't on the receiving end of that attitude and glare.

"I wanted to bring dinner to the girl I'm seeing. Why aren't you with your girlfriend?" My ears perked up with that question, I'd been wondering the same question for days.

"Jacob, I don't think my personal life is your business. Well, at least she isn't anymore," Edward answered snidely. Oh, even I could feel the sting on that one.

Jacob's face turned into one of pure evil. I was worried he might turn into a wolf, leap across the table, and kill Edward.

"Hey, guys, can we try and be civil and enjoy a dinner as friends." I felt both men's eyes dart in my direction. _I guess not_. Again we were all back to not speaking, just the sound of forks clanking plates.

Edward finally looked up at me with a look of confusion. "When is Charlie coming back? I don't want to leave you until he gets back," he asked me the question but looked right at Jacob as he said the last part.

Shaking my head and letting out a loud sigh, I said, "He's not going to be here the rest of the week. He went with Sue to see her daughter."

Edward's neck looked like it was going to snap, he turned to me so quickly. "Well, you aren't staying here then."

"Thank you, Dad. I need to call Alice and see if I can stay with her." I stood up and started clearing all of our plates.

"Bella, you could always stay with me you know," Jacob purred at me. I didn't even want to turn around and see what kind of look he was giving Edward. They were acting ridiculous. Edward had Tanya, so he should have ignored Jacob knowing he had the upper hand. Jacob should have realized having me was not a victory over Edward; he already had the trophy from their battle.

As irritated as I was that Jacob would insinuate that I would stay the night at his place or that our relationship was even at that level, I didn't want to humiliate the guy either. "Thanks, Jacob, but I think I'll stay at Alice's. In fact, I think I'll call her now. Then I'll pack up and head over there. Maybe you guys should head home."

I had barely gotten the words out of my mouth when Edward broke in, "I'll take you over to Alice's. I wouldn't want someone to follow your car over there."

By the time I turned around, Edward's and Jacob's eyes were boring into each other. If looks could kill, I don't know which of them would have been dead first.

Then out of nowhere a wicked grin spread across Jacob's face. I was worried about what would come from his mouth next. "Bella, really I'm your boyfriend come stay with me tonight? I can take care of you."

My face was suddenly red, only I don't think I was blushing. I was furious. "First, I am not your girlfriend. Second, you both are driving me insane. You guys need to leave. I thought you would be able to be civil to each other as a favor to me, but apparently I over estimated you both." Waving my hands at the two of them, I shooed them out of my kitchen and to the front door.

They both tried to apologize, but I didn't want to hear it. I held my hands up to them both, letting them know I was done. Dropping their heads in defeat, I shut and locked the door on both of their pathetic faces.

**EPOV**

"Damn, Cullen you ruined a perfectly good dinner between Bella and me," Jacob spat at me, as we descended Bella's front steps.

"Well, it couldn't have been that perfect if she asked me to stay," I retorted with a smirk as I walked towards my car.

My shoulder was jerked backward by Jacob's hand. "Look, Edward, you already took Tanya from me. Why don't you back off!" Jacob took a step towards me standing only inches away, staring right into my eyes. "And I'm not asking you."

"Is that a threat? Let me remind you of something. Tanya was done with you before I even moved here, so I haven't taken anything from you. So get over your pity party and grow up."

"Quit it with your self-righteous crap, Cullen. Look, I have something good going with Bella, and you are totally interfering. I don't know why you can't leave us alone. You already have the most amazing woman on earth."

Raising my eyebrows at Jacob, I took one more step towards him leaving a mere two inches between us. "Again, Tanya and I aren't your business. Maybe I'm mistaken, but you don't call one woman the most amazing woman on earth, while fighting for another. You don't deserve her, Jacob, and you never will. I just hope she's smart enough not to settle for you." I stared right into Jacob's furious eyes. "If you hurt her, I will destroy you." Without giving him a chance to respond I spun on my heels and got into my car.

As I drove away, I watched in my rearview mirror to make sure I saw Jacob getting in his car. I pulled around the corner and quickly parked my car and turned off my headlights. Once the moron drove past me, I turned on my car and drove back to Bella's.

When I raised my hand to knock on the door, I hesitated. I wondered if she was still mad at me. It would definitely irritate her that I was back so quickly after she told me to leave. I decided it would be best if I waited outside and let her cool off a little.

The corner of my mouth rose up into a smile as I thought of her being irritated with me. Bella's bark was a lot worse than her bite. The way she would get all flushed, crossed her arms across her chest, try to stretch her body a little taller, and scrunched her eyebrows together. It was truly one of the most adorable things, aside from her biting into her lower lip when she would get embarrassed. I felt an ache start to burn deep in my chest.

_Ugh, I am so in love with this woman it hurts_. I ran my fingers through my hair again, almost pulling my hair at the ends.

My head snapped up at the sound of an SUV driving by, but it was only the next door neighbor. My protective side was really taking over. The feelings that came over me this morning were unbearable. First, my heart broke at the sight of my Bella on the ground and crying. I knew at that moment I would have done anything to make her pain go away. Then when she told me about the car following her, I felt what I would call rage for the first time in my life. I've never felt the urge to take another life, ever, but at that moment I wanted to kill whoever had made her feel that scared. Then I felt guilt, because a part of me was enjoying every second of her clinging to me. Feeling her body pressed against mine, her fingers digging into my chest, her breath on my chest and neck, and just being able to wrap my arms around her and hold her. My protective nature kicked in and I wanted to get her safely home. From that point on I felt a burning need physically and emotionally to have physical contact with her. Leaving her was the hardest thing I had to do, and I worried about her all day. I picked up my phone several times to call her, but I didn't want to smother her. I had every intention of going home after my shift, but it was like a gravitational pull that brought me to her house. That same pull was keeping me here, even after she told me to go.

I could feel myself starting to get tense again. I stood up and started walking up and down the walkway in an attempt to clear my head and walk it off.

The front door opened while I was down on the sidewalk and I ran up to the porch as I saw her struggling with her suitcase. I felt instant relief knowing that meant she would not be staying here alone.

"Bella." Her head whipped around to see me, curiosity written across her face. "Let me get that for you." I reached over and grabbed her suitcase surprised she didn't put up a fight.

"What are you still doing here?" She asked following me down the steps.

"Come on Bella, you knew I wouldn't leave you here alone."

"I feel bad you sat out here in the cold all this time. Plus, I wouldn't have been as nervous if I knew you were here."

Our eyes met as I opened the car door for her. "I was worried you were still angry with me."

A look of puzzlement took over her expression, and then within a second realization took over. "That's right, I'm really mad at you. You are so immature. Can't you and Jacob just get over your issues?" We both knew she wasn't really mad anymore.

The drive to Alice and Jasper's was quiet. I started to second guess myself and wonder if she really was still mad at me.

Suddenly, she broke the silence. "Um, I think I'm warm enough now." We both reached to turn down the heat, and my hand brushed hers. The jolt of electricity that flowed between us was tangible. She had to have felt that, but I was too nervous to look over and see.

Quiet again. I was dying to know what she was thinking. Talking to Bella wasn't hard for me, but when nothing had been said for so long I felt like whatever I said needed to be significant.

"Edward." I wanted to scream thank you as she ended my discomfort. "Where has Tanya been lately? She wasn't at the gala very long, she wasn't at dinner last night, and you are here tonight." Maybe the silence had been better than talking to her about Tanya and me.

Staring out at the window debating what I wanted to tell her, I decided to go with complete and utter truth. "Tanya and I broke up."

"I'm sorry, are you doing okay?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm fine. She broke up with me, and I think that's what was best."

We had pulled into Alice's driveway, but neither of us made any movements to leave the car. Unconsciously, we both turned in our seats to face each other.

"I thought you were going to marry her?" She asked staring down at her hands. Hands that I desperately wanted to reach out and hold.

"So did I. Deep down I knew she wasn't the one, though."

She looked up at me confused. "Wait, you knew she wasn't the one, but she broke up with you? Why?"

Now I was the one looking down at my twiddling fingers. "I guess what you said was right. I was only thinking with logic and not my heart. It made sense to be with Tanya. She was comfortable and safe, but my heart was never fully in it."

"But why did she end it?"

A long breath escaped my mouth. "She thought I was in love with someone else." My eyes searched hers trying to gauge her reaction.

"Did you cheat on her?" she barely whispered_._

I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Did she really think this of me? "Absolutely, not! I would never cheat on someone."

"Well, why did she think you were in love with someone else?"

Staring into her beautiful brown eyes, I debated if I was ready to share my feelings with her. _Could she love me?_ I wished desperately that I could read her mind.

I started to speak but heard nothing but a raspy sound come from my mouth. I cleared my throat, getting her full attention and tried again. "I'm not sure what made Tanya think I was in love with someone else, but once she said it to me I realized she was right. I was so blind. I couldn't even see that I had fallen in love with…"

Bella's door jerked open, and we were suddenly greeted by a little pixie wrapping her arms around Bella. "Oh, Bella, I'm so happy you're alright. Jasper and I are so glad you're going to stay with us." Alice blurted out as if it were one long word.

I don't think I'd ever disliked my sister as much as I did, watching her pull Bella from my car as I was about to confess my love to her. My mind shuffled through a list of things I could do to torment that pip-squeak.

Bella took one final look at me with a look of remorse on her face. I wondered if she'd had any idea what I was about to say to her.

The rest of my week flew by. I worked all day Tuesday, and Wednesday barely getting off in time to be at Emmett and Rose's before they needed to leave for their trip. Thursday, I took the girls to Port Angeles to see the movie _Up_. Emma and Mia loved the movie. From what I was able to see of the movie, I really enjoyed it. I spent most of the time in the aisle with a fidgety two year old. Then of course, we went to Dairy Queen for corn dogs and ice cream, a place Rose would never let them eat. That was my job as the fun uncle. Take them to do everything their parents wouldn't. They devoured their food, probably trying to savor in all the greasy goodness they wouldn't get until I took them out again.

We were in the car barely fifteen minutes when all three of them were asleep. I was enjoying the silence for a few minutes, when I decided now would be a good time to call Bella and confirm our plans for tomorrow. I hadn't had a chance to talk to Bella since Monday night, when I'd nearly confessed myself to her and humiliated myself. My mom called me yesterday, to very _casually_ inform me about her lunch with Bella and Alice. At least I knew she was still safe and that there hadn't been an incident since Monday.

I hooked my blue tooth onto my ear and hit send on Bella's number.

"Hello?" Just the sound of her voice caused me to smile.

"Bella, its Edward, I was just calling to say that I'm looking forward to seeing you in about twelve hours." I said trying to control the laughter that was about to erupt from my throat. Just picturing her little tantrum from the day she lost the race, made me loose it and I was laughing into the phone. Of course, there was complete silence on the other end of the phone, so I worked very hard to regain control. It was still quiet for a couple more seconds.

"Are you done?" she asked in an annoyed voice.

"Yes, at least until I get off the phone with you."

"Oh you're hilarious. One word, Cullen: rematch." She tried to sound threatening, but it was that whole ferocious kitten thing again.

All of my self-control was now focused on not laughing. "You name the day I'll be there. So I'll see you in twelve hours?"

"What are you talking about? I'm not coming over there at seven; I'll be there around ten or so. I have stuff to do."

"Hey if you can get up at six to run you can get up at six to make due on your bet. Plus, you need to be here when the girls get up. They will want breakfast, and then they need to be bathed and dressed."

"You're serious? You basically want me to be your slave tomorrow. How would I get there that early? Remember, I don't have my car with me."

"Yes, I'm very serious. We won't call you my slave; we'll call you my partner for the day." I couldn't help the excitement that ran through me, calling her my partner. "Why don't you have Alice bring you over tonight and you can sleep in the guest room. That would work out great, then the girls could wake you up, while I sleep in." l fought to keep my voice casual.

"You're going to torture me aren't you? I guess it would be more convenient to get dropped off tonight instead of waking Alice in the morning. Plus it would be fun to wake up with the girls, but don't think for a second you're sleeping in." My heart leapt at the idea of her being in the house with me during the next thirty-six hours. "Um, I kind of have plans for tonight, but I could get dropped off there later tonight."

My leaping heart immediately plummeted, I knew who she would have plans with. I had to tell myself over and over to keep it cool. No more Jacob fights. "Yeah, sure, that would be fine. Just call my cell phone when you get here so your knock doesn't wake the girls."

"Oh, could you leave a door unlocked? I don't want to wake you up. It might be late." I could hear the discomfort in her voice.

"I would be uncomfortable going to sleep with the door unlocked with the girls in the house. Don't worry about it, I have some work to do tonight. I'll be up late."

"Alright I'll see you tonight then. Bye."

Emmett had been right, loving this girl was going to be complete torture. After getting the girls safely into bed, I spent the rest of the night worrying about Bella. Was she safe? Was she being intimate with Jacob? Could she ever love me? What was I going to do about my feelings for her? So many questions ran through my mind I thought it quite possible my brain could explode. I didn't have a solution to any of these questions. I couldn't watch her every second to make sure she was safe, so I had to just trust that she would be smart about it. I couldn't think about her and Jacob it caused an instant vomit reflex. I hoped that she could love me. Sometimes I thought she could and other times I thought I was the last person on earth she would ever be with. Needing to get rid of some of the tension I was feeling, I changed my clothes and jumped onto Emmett's treadmill. The running was helping to relieve my stress, and I was feeling a little better. However, it didn't stop me from picking up my cell phone every two minutes to make sure it was still working or that I hadn't missed her call. After a solid hour of running, I jumped off absolutely saturated in sweat. I looked at the clock it was twelve-thirty. I decided to jump in the shower. What were the chances she would show up in the two minutes I was showering?

As I was rinsing the shampoo from my hair, I thought I heard a ringing noise. I quickly shut off the water. I heard the ring again from another room.

_Crap, I left my phone on the treadmill._

I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my waist. I didn't even take a minute to dry off. I ran down the hall and grabbed my phone, which was flashing the name Bella.

"Hello." I answered out of breath.

"Edward? Are you okay? Did I wake you up?"

"No, I just had to run to the phone, it was in another room."

"Well, that would explain why I am freezing my tail off out here. I have called like three times. Could you come let me in _now_?" she asked impatiently, and then hung up.

My body froze for about a second not sure if I should run up and put on clothes or answer the door in my towel. An image of Bella standing alone and vulnerable on the porch flashed through my mind and I didn't have to think twice, Bella's safety was more important than my discomfort.

I ran down the stairs holding onto the towel that hung low around my waist, and opened the door. Bella's eyes bulged out of her eyes as she took in my appearance.

A horn honked from the driveway, followed by an annoying pixie yelling from her car. "That's nice, Edward. Real subtle." Annoyed as I was, it didn't escape my notice that it was Alice dropping off Bella not Jacob. I had to work hard to contain the thrill of knowing she hadn't been out with Jacob.

Before Alice could yell out that I was in love with her, I reached over and grabbed Bella's suitcase and pulled her inside. I closed the door quickly but not before throwing Alice an evil glare.

"Sorry, I was in the shower when you called. Make yourself at home, I'm going to run up and get dressed." I pointed at the stairs over my shoulder. Her eyes roamed down my chest, and I couldn't help the smirk that came over me. "Is that all right, or would you like me to stand here longer?"

Her eyes darted back up to my face, and she gave me a disgusted look. "You're so full of yourself." I wasn't going to point out that she was gawking at me. "Where am I sleeping? I'm really tired." She reached over and grabbed her suitcase.

"Follow me." I reached over and took her suitcase from her without asking.

She followed right behind me, and I felt a little self-conscious. I tried to think of something to say, but I was too nervous. This was ridiculous, I had never been nervous around Bella before. I needed to get a hold of myself.

"Alright, here's your room. You have your own bathroom connected there." I pointed to the bathroom door in the corner of her room. "Let me know if you need anything, and the girls know you are coming tonight, so enjoy your wake up call." I smiled and pulled the door closed.

I finished getting ready for bed and then got into Emmett and Rosalie's gigantic bed. I lay there awake for a while. My mind could think of nothing other than the beautiful woman sleeping just on the other side of the wall from me. I rolled over burying my face into the pillow and groaned. I knew it was going to be a long restless night.

_As my eyes opened I saw Bella asleep in my arms. My heart skipped a beat. She was finally mine. I pulled her closer into me feeling her bare back against my bare chest. I leaned my head down and kissed the top of her shoulder, and I felt her start to stir in my arms. She rolled over and smiled staring deep into my soul. I whispered that I loved her and she crashed her lips into mine. She gave a tug at my shoulders and in one motion I was hovering over her, kissing her passionately. I was literally in heaven, when suddenly the bed started to shake horribly._

My body instantly jerked into an upright position, and my world came crashing down. It had only been a dream, and my reality was three little girls jumping wildly across the bed. I fell back down into my pillow and let out a little whimper.

My whole body tensed as Mia jumped onto my stomach. "Uncle Edward, did you know that Bella's here?"

I folded my arms back behind my head and nodded at her with a smile. I pulled her into my arms and kissed the top of her head. "Did you sleep well?"

"Uh huh, did you know Bella made us Mickey Mouse pancakes? She told us to come jump on the bed and wake you up. She's so silly."

"Oh she did, did she?" Mia nodded her head vigorously.

Two more little bodies crashed onto me, and then they were all tossed onto the foot of the bed where I tickled them until I heard a tiny voice cry. "I have to go potty, Uncle Edward, please stop."

"Alright, fine. Emma, you go potty, the rest of you let's go eat some Mickey Mouse pancakes."

"With strawberries!" yelled Mia.

How could anyone not wake up in a good mood with a wakeup call like that? I grabbed Mia and Isabel in my arms and carried them down the stairs over my shoulders, squeals erupting all the way to the kitchen.

Bella's back was to me cooking over the stove. She was barefoot and still wearing her pajamas, with an apron tied around her tiny waist. I could imagine her this way, in our house making breakfast for our family. My chest filled with complete elation. Desperately, I wanted to cross the kitchen and wrap my arms around her, but I resisted the urge knowing she would probably punch me.

"Let us down!" Mia wailed from behind me. Bella turned around quickly and smiled at the girls flailing over my shoulder.

"What are you hungry? I don't think there's any food for you two. I just saw Bella eat all of it."

Just then Emma came running around the corner. She ran right past me and over to the counter where Bella was working, with a look of panic on her face. "No she didn't. Uncle Edward's teasing us." Emma wrapped her arms around Bella and looked up at her. "Please, can we have some pancakes now?"

Bella rubbed her hand over Emma's hair. "Well, since Uncle Edward finally decided to wake up, I guess we can eat now. Everyone get to the table."

Cheers erupted and all three girls were at the table in a blink of an eye. I crossed the wood floors of the kitchen towards Bella. "Good morning, you are so great with them."

Bella blushed and smiled. "Good morning." I wondered if she had any idea how beautiful she looked when she blushed.

"It smells great, can I help with anything?" I asked glancing over her shoulder at the pancakes and strawberries.

"Oh, you're offering to help on the day I'm supposed to be your slave? How considerate of you." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. "You can grab the milk and orange juice from the fridge."

The corner of my mouth raised into a grin. I loved that she could keep up with my banter, and even surpass me sometimes. "Remember you're my partner today, not my slave. I really do appreciate you doing this for me; I was getting pretty desperate for some adult interaction." Then I turned and headed for the fridge.

"Hey, I'm not doing you any favors. I am just paying my debt, and having a little fun in the process." I quickly turned around to see her smiling back at me. She was happy to be with me too, and I couldn't have been more pleased.

Breakfast was delicious, and entertaining. Bella and I listened as the girls shared story after story of all the happenings of their week. When everyone was done eating, Bella took the girls upstairs to get dressed and I cleaned up our breakfast. I informed the girls and Bella that we would be going to the beach today. Bella suggested that we pack a picnic, and the girls were ecstatic. Bella quickly went to work packing up a picnic lunch for all of us. The girls and I went in search of a blanket and some beach toys. In about an hour we were all loaded into the minivan and on our way.

I hoped the drive to the beach would be a chance for Bella and me to talk. The girls were strapped into car seats and completely occupied watching "Beauty and the Beast."

"You know you are being so great about taking care of the girls and making our food, I am almost starting to feel guilty," I said staring out the front window.

"As you should." I looked at her from the corner of my eye and saw her give me a quick smile.

"So I saw Alice brought you over last night. What did you guys do last night?"

"Oh, I didn't go out with Alice last night, she just drove me over to the house." My heart skidded to a halt. "I went with Jacob to a bonfire with some of his friends down at La Push. When I came home to pick up my stuff, Alice insisted that she could take me to Rose and Emmett's. I thought it was a good idea. It might have been kind of awkward having Jacob drop me off to stay with you anyways. You know, since he hates you and all." She smiled.

The casual tone in her voice was so bittersweet for me. While I loved that we were talking and there was no awkwardness between us, it stung a little that she was talking to me about her "boyfriend." I didn't want to be the go to guy. I wanted to be _the_ guy in her life. I especially didn't want to hear about Jacob Black.

Without thought my hand instantly started rubbing the back of my neck. I tried to force a chuckle after her last comment. "Yeah, I guess that would've been a little weird huh. I thought you two weren't going out until tomorrow night?"

"Well we have a date tomorrow. Last night was just a bunch of his friends getting together and they invited me along." She shrugged as if it were no big deal.

It stayed silent for a minute. Then I asked, "So are you two getting serious? I thought it was just casual."

She shrugged again. "Jacob is the first man to ever really pursue me." That completely caught me off guard. How had she not been pursued daily by men? "There is a physical attraction, and we have a lot of fun together." My fingers gripped the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles were turning white. "He really likes me a lot and I can't find a reason not be with him. But I'm still not sure." She sounded exactly how I felt when I was with Tanya. I wanted to warn her of how bad it could turn out later when you put everything into a relationship and realize your heart was never completely there.

Bella's voice pulled me from my thoughts. "So, I want a rematch."

"Name the time and place." I smirked.

"Well, I am not going to name a time because I don't know when I will get back into my running regiment and I want to have had a goodnights sleep, unlike last time." She raised her eyebrows at me, accusingly.

"Excuses, excuses, well, you let me know when you are ready to owe me another day." I winked, and she bit into her lower lip. I could barely resist kissing those lips when she did that.

The girls started yelling, "We're here! We're here!"

We gathered everything from the back of the minivan, and followed the path down to the beach. Isabel toppled over half way down the trail so I had to carry her along with the cooler. The girls carried the toys, and Bella carried the blanket and picnic basket. Bella held onto Mia's hand and Emma held onto the back of Bella's shirt; a sight that melted my heart.

As soon as the blanket was down, the girls wanted to eat. I never understood why it was so exciting for kids to eat outside. Of course, Bella accommodated their pleas, and laid out our lunch. We relished in tuna fish sandwiches, strawberries, Doritos, and some chocolate chip cookies. While Bella cleaned up and manned Isabel, I took Mia and Emma down to play Frisbee. Bella joined our game shortly. With no surprise, playful Frisbee turned into Bella and I trying to out throw and out catch the other. When the girls were sick of watching Bella and me play, we decided to take a walk down the beach.

The girls carried buckets for collecting shells and sea glass. Bella was amazing with the girls, helping them find glass, and chasing them around in the surf. Every minute I was with her just reaffirmed what my deepest desires were for Bella. She was the one. I had to figure out a way to spend the rest of my life with her.

We had walked about a quarter of a mile, when everything took a dreadful turn. Bella and I were chasing the girls around when Bella straightened her stance and with a trembling voice said, "I'm going to go back and get all of our stuff cleaned up." And in the same second turned around and started to jog away. Her face looked hurt, and she sounded like she was fighting off tears. My heart was aching for her. What had happened?

"Aunt Tanya!" Emma cheered.

I turned around and saw what had crushed Bella. Tanya and Jacob walking down the beach together. Tanya was kneeling down with my nieces, and Jacob was staring after Bella.

My fists balled up and I felt anger build up in my chest. How could he hurt her like that? I was desperate for a way to take away Bella's pain.

Jacob looked over at me, not knowing what to do. I looked threateningly into his eyes. "Go and fix this, now."

I was prepared to argue with him, but he just gave me a curt nod and ran after her. Tanya looked up at me puzzled.

"Girls, why don't you dump your shells into a pile, and use your buckets to build a sandcastle? I'm going to talk to Tanya for a second." The girls nodded and did as I asked.

Tanya and I took a couple of steps away from the girls. "Really Tanya, was the whole 'me loving someone else' just an excuse so you could go back to Jacob and not feel guilty?" I tried to keep the anger and annoyance out of my voice in case the girls could hear.

Tanya whipped her head around me and glared. "No, but it appears that I was right wasn't I?" She was challenging me to tell her she was wrong, but I wouldn't. "Unlike you Edward, I'm heartbroken, and I needed a friend." Tears were starting to well up in her eyes.

I didn't want to hurt her. "I'm sorry. I had no right to react that way. How are you doing?" I quickly took a glance down the beach to see if I could see Bella. Bella and Jacob were about thirty yards down the beach. Bella had her arms folded across her chest and was shaking her head. Jacob was bent down trying to get Bella to look at him. I quickly turned back to Tanya.

"Wow, she must be something. She's got your heart and I think maybe Jacob's." Tears were spilling down her cheeks.

"She is, but so are you Tanya. You are a wonderful woman and some man is going to be very lucky to have you…"

She interrupted me in annoyed voice. "But I wasn't good enough for you."

"Tanya, the reason we were still together was because you were so great. My heart just had other plans." I shrugged.

"It's okay. We all make mistakes…" Tanya paused, and looked over my shoulder deep in thought. I looked behind me to see what she was looking at. Jacob was walking towards us. I could see Bella further down the beach, walking the other direction.

Jumping to my feet, I called to the girls. "Hey girls, do you want to leave and go get ice cream?"

"Yeah!" they all cheered, and started collecting their shells.

I glanced back over to Tanya. "I'm sorry things happened the way they did. I hope everything works out for you. But, I have got to go, I want to go and check on Bella."

I threw Isabel on my shoulders and grabbed each of the girl's hands. "Hey, why don't we race back to our blanket?" The girls all nodded and we started to jog down the beach. "Girls, Bella is going to be kind of sad. So let's try and be really good listeners, and make sure we give her lots of hugs and tell her how much we love her okay?"

"Why is Bella sad?" Emma asked looking up at me.

Not sure what the correct response was for a child, I thought of the simplest version. "One of Bella's friends wasn't very nice to her, and she got her feelings hurt."

Once we were close enough that I could see Bella sitting on the blanket, I let go of the girl's hands. She was staring down at her fingers straining through the sand. I slowed down to a walk as I approached her and put Isabel down on the sand. Isabel sprinted into Bella's arms knocking her back down on the sand.

"I wub you Aunt Bewwa." Bella's tear streaked face lifted into a smile and she clung to Isabel. I wondered how it was that kids were never afraid to wear their emotions on their sleeve and were so in-tuned to peoples emotional needs. The other two girls followed close behind, and Bella opened her arms to them, also.

Emma stood up and ran over to me. "Uncle Edward, can we call Bella, Aunt Bella?" My heart skipped a beat at the thought of my nieces calling Bella their aunt. I looked up at Bella, and her face was turning a scarlet red.

"It's fine with me, but you should probably ask Bella." I looked over to Bella and smiled at her. The girls followed my lead and all looked over at Bella in anticipation of her response.

Bella looked down at the ground and nodded her head. "Sure, I would love that." My heart skipped again, I had to remind myself that she was saying that because she loved those girls not because she loved me. "Alright, let's get this mess cleaned up and go get some ice cream. I see three little girls who also need to take a bath." Bella wiggled her eyebrows at the girls. "Maybe if we clean up fast, we could make it a bubble bath."

The girls were all asleep ten minutes into the drive home, and the car was eerily quiet. Bella hadn't said a word since getting in the car and I wanted to give her space until she was ready to talk. She just stared out the window the entire way home. I would occasionally see her lift her hand and wipe at her cheek.

The rest of the evening flew by. Bella bathed the girls while I cleaned up our beach mess. Then Bella thought it would be fun to make our own pizzas, the girls said it was the best dinner they'd ever had. We all played hide and seek, and I was roped into some princess time. Luckily, I was able to be Prince Charming and not Snow White. There were several times I caught Bella staring at me, and then she would flash me a curious smile and look away. It was killing me not knowing what she was thinking. My heart ached for the sadness that stayed hidden in her eyes. After reading about a dozen books, the girls were all settled in bed.

Bella and I headed down the stairs. I wasn't ready for my time with her to be over yet. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Um, yeah sure."

Looking through Rose and Emmett's movie selection, I narrowed it down to two. "Do you want to watch, _Dark Knight_ or _Notting Hill_? One of Rose's movies or one of Emmett's movies."

"Not so much in the mood for a chick flick. Let's go with _Dark Knight_." Bella walked over and grabbed a blanket, and settled into the couch pulling her knees up to her chest.

I got the DVD started and went and sat on the couch next to her. I saw her eyes dart to all the different seats in the room and then finally look over at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." She shook her head gently and turned back to the TV.

_Ring, Ring, Ring._

I jumped up and ran to get my phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Edward. How's it going with the girls?" Emmett boomed through the phone.

"They're fine, they're asleep actually." I said walking back to the couch. Bella eyed me wondering who it was. I mouthed Emmett to her. She just nodded her head and turned back to the movie.

"How are you doing? What have you guys been up to?" Emmett asked. I started giving him a replay of the last few days' events, when he interrupted me. "Bella's been with you?"

"Uh, yeah, is that okay?" I asked nervously. It never occurred to me it might not be.

Emmett's laughter made me jump a little. "You must be a masochist, Edward. You have the woman you love…" I got up and moved from the couch, in case Bella could hear Emmett's very loud voice. "…come over and help you baby-sit your nieces, so you can pretend it is your family and she is your wife. Don't try to deny it because you know you've done it at least once." He was right. "Knowing she has a boyfriend, and that she will probably never love you back, why would you do that to yourself?" Then the roar of laughter continued.

"Was there a reason for your call?" I rolled my eyes, clearly annoyed by my brother.

"What? Is she still there?"

"Yes. What do you want?!" I snarled.

"Nothing, just checking on the girls. Have fun torturing yourself… hold on." I could hear muzzled conversation in the background. "Rose wants to talk to Bella."

"What? Emmett, no!" I begged.

"Quit your crying Edward and put her on." Rose wasn't asking. My eyes closed and I let out a long breath. I walked across the room and held the phone out towards Bella.

Bella eyed me curiously, and then took the phone. "Hello?" It was quiet for a moment and then Bella got up and left the room.

Wanting to be more comfortable, I paused the movie and ran upstairs to put on my pajamas. When I came back down stairs, my phone was on the coffee table but Bella wasn't in the room. I ran up the stairs taking two at a time, and knocked on the guest bedroom door.

"Yeah?" Bella answered quietly.

"Are you okay, Bella? Can I come in?" I asked, into the crack of the door.

"Yeah."

I opened the door slowly, trying to find her in the dark room. "Bella?"

"I'm on the bed. Don't turn on the light."

Cautiously, I made my way over to the bed. As I scooted onto the edge of the bed, I felt my thigh press against her curled up legs she didn't pull them away.

"Bella, you can talk to me you know. You've been so quiet, since the beach." I let my hand drop onto her calf.

"I'm sorry Edward. This isn't your problem. I feel so stupid." She started to get up, but I wouldn't release my hold on her leg.

"Don't go. Don't ever feel stupid in front of me. I care about you, so when you are sad, it is my problem. What's going on?"

"He's going to go back to her," she stated matter-of-factly. Is that what he'd told her? "I was just a stand in, while he hoped she would come back to him." A small whimper escaped her mouth.

Tying to soothe her I gently rubbed her leg. "Did he tell you that?"

"He didn't have to. I always knew he was out of my league." She sniffed and sat up against the headboard. "He said he still wants us to go out tomorrow and he keeps leaving me messages on my phone. This is exactly why I've never put myself out there. I knew I would end up hurt."

Cautiously, I scooted up the bed until I was sitting next to her against the headboard. "Bella, this doesn't sound like you. The Bella I know is confident, and sure of herself. You would never let one person's actions affect you like this."

"I can't believe I'm talking to you about this." I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, letting her know she was safe with me. "I am very secure with myself in pretty much every aspect of my life, except for relationships. I kind of have a problem allowing people in."

"No!" I gasped in mock surprise.

She nudged me with her shoulder, and even let out a small laugh. I did that, I made her smile when she was sad. "I think I just have too much Charlie in me. Jacob was the first man that made me feel… desired, more than as a friend."

Turning onto my side so I was facing her, I reached up and pulled her face so she was looking into my eyes. "I don't believe that for a second. I don't think you realize how desirable you are." She started to shake her head. "You are, Bella. You're beautiful, and smart, and athletic, and driven, and strong, and funny, and quick-witted, and you are one of the most amazing women I've known in all of my life." I looked down into those piercing eyes that were staring up into mine. Her mouth was slightly open. I knew she wasn't convinced that I was telling the truth. "Bella, you're correct in that oneof the reasons you haven't been in many relationships is not allowing anyone in. But another vast reason is that most men find strong, successful women, such as you, to be very intimidating."

Bella turned so she was on her side facing me now. "I'd love to say I believe you, but you Cullens are all just too nice to me. You guys consider me family and you would say anything to take away my pain. And I really love your family for it."

"No, Bella, I mean it." I reached over cupping her cheek in my hand. My brain and heart were struggling within me. Now would be a perfect time to tell her I loved her. But would she believe me? Was this me taking advantage of her vulnerable state? No, no it wasn't I wanted, no I needed, to tell her. I felt like my heart might burst from my chest if I didn't tell her. When she looked up at me the way she was, innocent and exposed, I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and keep her forever.

Rolling my body over so I was slightly angled above her, I stared deep into her eyes. She let out a small gasp and I felt her body tremble below me. "Bella, I don't know how it happened, but it did. Bella, I am completely and irrevocably in love with you."

**Chapter Notes: **I know I am kind of leaving you with a cliffy, but come on you have to be left wanting some more. Tell me your favorite part, when you take the mouse in your hand and click on the review button. Please!

Come hang with us on the thread, .?f=44&t=3963&st=0&sk=t&sd=a


	19. Chapter 19

**Author Notes:** Thanks for all of you reviewers and girls over at the thread, you all light up my day.

Much love to Lynelle and Ginny for their wonderful insight and time they spend correcting all of my grammar issues.

Make sure to read the chapter notes, there is a reward offered.

Disclaimer: Stephenie is the genius behind this world and I am grateful she allows me to play in it.

**In My Own Skin**

As I lay in bed, I began contemplating what had made me so dysfunctional with relationships or the lack thereof. I never seemed to get it right. I let in the ones that crushed me. Maybe I even went so far as keping away the ones that could've loved me. I had spent the majority of my life loving the unattainable and punishing him for not loving me back. Finally, in the last month, I had started to feel normal in this aspect of my life. I'd accepted Edward as a friend, we were getting close and I trusted him. Jacob, a wonderful man, was showing a deep interest in me. Slowly, one by one, all the bricks in the wall I had built around myself had started to come down. I was really breathing and living for the first time in a long while. How had I become so careless and allowed myself to really care about two men who both loved someone else? My tears started to flow freely.

Edward's knock on the door forced me to come out of my reverie. I had to quit feeling sorry for myself. I freely talked to Edward about my conversation with Jake, while he comfortingly cuddled with me on the bed. I continued, "Jacob was the first man that made me feel… desired, more than as a friend."

Edward pulled my face towards him, gazing into my eyes, "I don't believe that for a second. I don't think you realize how desirable you are." I started to shake my head in protest. I knew that was not true. "You are, Bella. You're beautiful, and smart, and athletic, and driven, and strong, and funny, and quick-witted, and you are one of the most amazing women I've known in all of my life." I desperately wanted to believe that Edward saw me this way, but he was being too kind. I wasn't convinced. "Bella, you're correct in that one of the reasons you haven't been in many relationships is not allowing anyone in. But another vast reason is that most men find strong, successful women, such as you, to be very intimidating."

Edward's compliments were making me feel unsettled, it was causing a battle between what I knew was true, and my heart wanting so badly, to believe all that he said. I turned onto my side looking at Edward. "I'd love to say I believe you, but you Cullen's are all just too nice to me. You guys consider me family and you would say anything to take away my pain. And I really love your family for it." He made me feel good about myself, even if it was only for a couple of minutes.

"No, Bella, I mean it." Something changed in Edward's countenance, and I couldn't place it. He looked pained, nervous, or anxious. The moonlight that filtered through the wall covered in windows, allowed me to see his face, but not enough for me to search his eyes. I wanted to reach up and smooth away the lines on his face and turn his mouth up from his sad expression. It took all of my inner strength to keep my hands at my side.

As if he read my mind, Edward reached over and held my face in his hands just as I was wishing I could do to him. His touch felt like electrical currents passing through my body, and my heart started to reach a speed that was almost painful. Before I could comprehend what was happening, I felt the weight of Edward's body roll over onto my side. My body continued to react in pure excitement.

The words that left Edward's mouth next, left me without words or the ability to move. _"Bella, I don't know how it happened, but it did. Bella, I am completely and irrevocably in love with you." _My mouth went dry, my body broke into an instant sweat, my hands were trembling, and my heart continued to thunder through my chest.

During Edward's declaration, one, or both of us, had leaned into the other. Our noses were almost touching. Edward's eyes searched mine looking for an approval.

My gaze dropped to his lips and apparently that was all the consent that he needed. At a dreadfully slow pace, Edward began closing the short distance between us. My eyes fell closed as I became enthralled in the smell that was completely Edward. After a few torturous seconds of him descending upon me, Edward's full lips brushed against mine so softly it was like a whisper; I wanted to cry out for more. I let out a small whimper as his lips pulled away from mine, his perfect nose slowly dragged up my jaw line leaving a trail of fire in its path until he stopped at my ear.

My euphoria was slightly interrupted as Edward's husky voice whispered "Breathe Bella." His lips grazed my ear as he spoke sending goose bumps down my neck. I complied with his request and shakily let go of the breath I hadn't known I was holding.

I could feel his cheeks rise and his lips curl as he smiled against my neck. "I'm going to kiss you." A simple nod was my only response as his proximity left me feeling boneless. Edward's hand found mine on the bed and he laced his fingers with mine as he dragged our hands along the bed, finally resting them above our heads. His cheek slowly trailed against mine back towards my lips. As I felt his lips approach mine, I nervously licked my lips.

"You have no idea how sexy you are when you do that," he purred. With a gentle pull on the back of my head Edward guided my face towards his. Then his beautiful, perfect lips enraptured mine. I was grateful we were lying down, because I might have collapsed at the sweet contact. This was something I had dreamed of and hoped for as long as I could remember, and I couldn't believe it was actually happening. Just as suddenly his lips were on mine, they were gone too quickly. Edward released my hand and his thumb gently caressed my lower lip, all the while his eyes penetrating mine, deep into my soul. Edward was kissing me again, but this was not the sweet gentle kiss he had given me just a moment ago. Edward was not cautious this time. He was hungrily controlling our mouths. He continued his welcomed assault on my lips as his hand left my face and traveled down my neck, to my shoulder, down my rib cage, and stopping at my waist, where he grabbed me and pulled my body flush with his. Feeling the tight plains of his chest, his strong thighs, and protective arms against my body, caused a reaction in me I wasn't prepared for. My hands left the mattress of the bed in a frenzy to capture him, roaming his perfectly sculpted back finding contentment in his overly sexy hair. My back arched towards his body molding myself to him. I felt greedy. I couldn't get enough of him. I needed to take all that I could because a small part of me knew I would never have this with him again. Edward pulled his lips slightly away as he rolled his body on top of mine. I could hear only the sounds of our winded breaths. Edward's hand trailed from my waist, over my hip, and down my thigh, hooking his hand around the back of my knee, and then aggressively he hitched my leg over his hip. I let out a small gasp, as this was all new territory for me. The absence of his lips was more than I could bear. Forcefully, I pulled his lips back to mine. Kissing Edward was more passionate than I could have ever envisioned. His touch was strong and firm as he pulled towards my body, but soft and gentle when he held my neck and face. All I knew was that I would never get enough of kissing this man.

"Uncle Edward, what are you doing to Aunt Bella?" Emma asked from the doorway.

Edward pulled his lips off of mine and the only sound in the room was our erratic breathing. Reacting in just seconds, Edward was off of the bed and kneeling down in front of Emma. "Nothing sweetie, Aunt Bella had something in her eye, and I was trying to get it out." Emma eyed him, not believing a word and let out a small giggle. "What's wrong, Emma? What are you doing up?"

"Mia just threw up in her bed, I think she's sick." Without thought, Edward was out the door with Emma on his heels.

Once Edward and Emma were out of the room, I fell back on to the mattress trying to regain some composure. In a million years I couldn't have imagined this night turning into Edward kissing me and saying he loved me. It was beyond possible, I felt like I was in Neverland, in no way would this happen in reality. Then suddenly as if I hit a wall, my brain repeated the last words, _beyond impossible, _and _could never happen._

Just like an alarm clock awakening me from a dream, sirens started going off in my head warning me that I was treading on dangerous ground. Edward definitely had enough power over my heart to break me and I needed to protect myself. My chest started to constrict, and I felt like I couldn't get in enough air. I sat up and leaned over my knees trying to gain control over my breathing.

I felt like my heart had dropped out of my chest, through the mattress, and onto the floor. Edward doesn't love me. His girlfriend just broke up with him and he is lonely. He is living in a town with a population of three thousand and the pickings for single adults are slim and he is grasping at anything. He cares about me, doesn't want me to be sad, and he thinks he can fix me by making me feel loved. In one split second those dreams were shattered. I felt those bricks on the wall around me piling higher and higher, a dozen at a time.

My phone started playing _The Right Stuff_ by New Kids on the Block and I ran to grab the phone.

"Hi, Alice." I did my best to control my trembling voice.

"Hey, Jasper and I were just on our way home and I thought we could come by and pick you up if you wanted. Unless… you are planning on staying overnight with Edward again." I could almost picture her wiggling her little eyebrows at me. I knew she was only teasing me, but she had no idea what emotions those words ruptured and what I was currently going through. I couldn't be upset with her. What I wouldn't give to be here with Edward again, but I knew my heart couldn't handle it. I needed to get far away from Edward before his brain caught up to his actions and he had to tell me he didn't really mean it. That he just felt sorry for me and saw me as nothing more than a rebound.

"No, that would be great if you could come and pick me up. How long until you get here?"

"We are just leaving Port Angeles, and I need to stop by the shop real quick, so about an hour or so."

"Okay, I'll be ready. Thanks, Alice. Bye."

"See you in a little bit." I closed my phone and set it back down on the nightstand.

I dropped my hands down on the bed and slumped myself forward. I felt weak and out of control, these feelings were unsettling. I knew I needed to get it together, pack my stuff, tell Edward he was wrong, and get out of here. I pushed my hands off of the mattress and turned towards my bag, but I was stopped in my tracks. Edward was leaning in the doorway, looking at me with a look of concern on his face. I turned away from his gaze refusing to get lost in those beautiful green eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't help you with Mia. Alice called. How is she?"

"She's fine, I think I've just fed her little stomach more grease than it could handle. I'll have to be more behaved and follow the rules next time I watch them. She's back asleep now… they all are." Edward pushed off the doorway and made his way to me sliding his arms around my waist. I gave him a friendly hug and then turned towards my bag.

"Bella," his voice was cautious and confused. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"I thought I would come back in here with you and we could continue what we had started earlier, but instead you're packing and you look like you've seen a ghost. What's going on?"

Gently I pulled my shoulder out from under his strong, warm hand. I headed for the bathroom to get the rest of my stuff. "When Alice called, she let me know that she and Jasper were on their way to get me."

I could hear him trailing right behind me. "Why are you leaving? Stay with me, I want to talk to you. I want to be with you."

"Uh, no I need to go. I have a lot of stuff to take care of," I said trying to convince myself.

Edward grabbed me by both shoulders and turned me around to face him. "Talk to me and tell me the truth. Don't feed me some garbage that you have stuff to do tomorrow. What happened between that life-altering kiss and now? Why do I feel like you are a million miles away from me right now?"

My shoulders fell under his hands. I mustered up all of the strength I had and looked up at him. I could feel the lump beginning to build in my throat as I looked into his beautiful and perfect face. "You don't love me, Edward," it was just a whisper. "You just broke up with your girlfriend, and you need somebody." Edward was shaking his head vigorously, but I wouldn't let him shake my resolve. "You're just lonely right now. Hey, I know better than anyone the pickings are slim here, and I understand that I'm convenient for you. But I won't settle for someone who doesn't love me for the right reasons."

"You're wrong. I do love you, Bella. I love every part of you and I could sit here for hours telling you every single thing I love about you if that's what it takes. I love that you are my equal in almost every aspect of my life. I love the way you can put me in my place like nobody else can. The way you turn ten shades of red when you're embarrassed or center of attention. The way your body moves so gracefully when you're running. How amazing you are with my family, particularly my nieces. Most of all, I love how I feel when I am with you."

Edward's face was searching mine, desperate for me to believe him. I didn't know how to respond. Part of me was melting with every word he was saying, the other was screaming for him to stop. His crooked grin started to take over his face as it descended towards mine. I summoned every bit of strength I had in me emotionally, mentally, and physically and turned away from him. I heard a loud breath leave Edward's mouth in frustration and I didn't have to turn around to know he was running his hands through his hair.

"Hey, will you look at me?" I turned back to him and my eyes slowly drifted up towards his, and I could feel the intensity of his stare more than I could see it. "I _am_ in love with you. I know it is out of nowhere and-- "

"That's enough!" I yelled, holding my hands out to him. "I've been here your entire life. I've been here and you never loved me before. You never even thought of me that way… did you?" His face fell looking down to the floor. "So now conveniently twenty years later, after your girlfriend breaks up with you, you realize you love me?" My voice was starting to tremble as I desperately tried to remain strong. I didn't think I could recover from being broken by him.

"I don't know what to say." He finally lifted his face so close to mine that I could smell his clean breath. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I never saw you the way I should have before. I'm sorry I never knew what was in front of me all this time. I'm sorry that I spent the last month fighting my mind and body's responses to you, instead of accepting them. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I was just so confused by everything I was feeling for you while I had a girlfriend. Then when Tanya broke up with me and said it was because she knew I was in love with you, I realized she was right. And when I saw you in the ballroom and you looked so beautiful…"

Edward took a step backwards when he saw the look that had come across my face. "Your girlfriend told you that you were in love with me?!" There was venom laced in every word that I enunciated.

Edward squeezed his eyes shut as he ran his fingers through his hair. He began pacing the room in front of me. "That's not what I meant. I knew I felt something towards you, but I had been able to push them aside convincing myself it was just friendship, until someone on the outside slapped me in the face with my own feelings."

Tears now filled my eyes. "So you knew," deep shaky breath, "you were starting to have feelings towards me," tears fell down my face and cries escaped my mouth, "but you wanted to get rid of them?" Complete sobs now racked my chest. Edward darted across the short distance to my side, and tried to wrap me in his arms, but I pulled away. Edward's face looked anguished.

The minutes passed by with only the sounds of me sniffing, crying, and trying to gain control of my breathing. The only movement in the room was Edward pacing the room again, constantly running his fingers through his hair.

I had been on a high the last two days with Edward and his nieces. It was some of the happiest times I had had in years. Then I hit a low discovering Jacob and Tanya on the beach. Then complete bliss as Edward held me in his arms, confessed his "love" for me, and gave me the kiss I had imagined in all of my dreams. Then feeling completely empty as the perfect happiness I'd felt in Edward's arms were yanked out from underneath me.

My brain went into damage control mode. How was I going to be able to fix this situation? I needed Edward and the whole Cullen family in my life. Losing them would be like losing my family. I also knew I needed to distance myself from Edward. Being near Edward right now made me hurt too much. My heart would not quit aching. I wouldn't hold it against Edward. Regardless of his feelings for me, he really thought he was doing the right thing. I knew that while Edward could never really love me, I also knew he could never intentionally hurt me either.

Turning my back away from Edward, I scooted up onto the edge of the bed and crossed my legs in front of me. I focused my energy into picking at my nails so I wouldn't get emotional again. "Edward," I heard the pacing stop behind me. "Can we just pretend like nothing ever happened? We won't tell anyone about it. We don't need to discuss this situation, and we can just go back to being family friends and running partners. I won't act weird, I promise. I just can't lose you or your family. You are all too important in my life."

"Bella, please, please listen to me. I am in love with you! I know I did everything wrong! But I KNOW what I'm feeling," he sounded tormented.

The padding of his feet grew louder as he crossed the carpet as he approached me. I looked up at Edward standing in front of me. His eyes were pleading. I tried to look away, but he held my face towards his. My heart danced in my chest.

_Ding Dong! _

Edward dropped his hand from my face and I got up from the bed. "That's Alice. I've got to go." I walked over and grabbed my bags. As I crossed the thresh hold of the room, I turned back around towards Edward. "Everything will work out just fine, I promise. Up until the last hour, I had a great time these two days with you and the girls, thank you."

"Me too."

_Ding Dong!_

"Goodbye, Edward." I hurried down the hall, leaving my crushed heart in the room with Edward.

~*~

The sun penetrated my bedroom window, pulling me from my sleep. I kept my eyes closed hoping all the memories in my mind had been a horrible nightmare. I thought if I squeezed my eyes shut long enough, and chanted to myself 'there's no place like home', I'd wake up and be in my bed at Charlie's house. As one of my eyes slowly peeled open I knew at least part of my dream was true since I was in Alice and Jasper's house. But maybe the part with Edward had been a dream. I let my other eye slowly awaken, and all hope was lost. A nightmare can't make your eyes burn and swell from crying all night, or fill a room with snot and tear filled tissues. Ugh, I forced my eyes back shut.

Driving back to the lovebird's nest had felt like complete torture. My crumbled heart almost disintegrated watching Alice and Jasper staring into each other's eyes at every red light, while holding hands on the console of Jasper's black Mercedes. Why did it feel like I would never have what they did? Once at their love shack, Alice wanted to hang out and talk. I feigned a headache and hurried to bed before I fell apart in front of another Cullen in one night. I then proceeded to cry the next three hours in bed until I fell into a restless slumber.

Somehow I was feeling rested after the worst night of my life. I rolled over and looked at the alarm clock on the night table. Eleven o'clock. I'd slept in until eleven o'clock! No wonder I felt rested. What shocked me more than the time was the fact that Alice had not tried to wake me up. I wondered if she'd heard me crying last night.

I quickly scurried about the room cleaning up all of the tissues and making the bed. I grabbed my toiletry bag and slipped across the hall into the bathroom. My reflection disturbed me. I felt like I wasn't really seeing me. I saw a sad, broken, and weak girl staring back. This was not who I wanted to be. Closing my eyes I took several deep cleansing breaths, and resolved to end my pity party now. I was fine without Edward all my life and I still would be. I splashed some water on my face and took a couple more breaths and then I headed down the hall and to the kitchen.

Alice sat at the table reading a book and holding a cup of coffee. "Good morning, where's Jasper?"

"Well, it's not really morning anymore." She watched me carefully as I poured myself a bowl of cereal. "Jasper went hunting with Dad. Bear season. How are you this morning?" she asked tentatively.

I turned around and gave Alice a wide grin. "I'm feeling great." _Breathe in, breathe out. _I reassured myself.

Alice looked back down at her book. "Are you sure?"

What did she know? She was acting too passive. On a normal day if I walked into a room looking the way I did, Alice would be all over me trying to figure out what was wrong with me and trying to take down some of the swelling in my eyes. "Yup, I'm good, how about you?"

"Fine. You have a visitor waiting for you out on the porch." She never once looked up from her book. She was completely void of any expression.

This conversation was disturbingly formal for Alice and me. I stood from the table and slowly walked to the front door. Who could be here for me? I thought maybe Edward but Alice would not be that uninterested, plus why would Edward wait out on her porch?

Once the door opened, I understood Alice's strange behavior. Jacob's back faced me as he sat on the front steps. I shut the door and Jacob turned around to look at me. I'm sure he saw my face full of confusion.

His gave me a guilty smile. "You wouldn't answer any of my calls or text messages. I got worried. I really needed to see you. I am sorry if I seem like an obsessive freak."

A small smile crossed my face causing a wide smile to cross his. I slowly made my way next to him on the porch.

"I'm sorry I worried you. I had a lot going on last night and I didn't want to deal with this situation also. That's why I hadn't responded to you."

He nodded his head. "Are you okay now?"

As Jacob's question ran through my mind, a feeling of peace came over me. Suddenly, I didn't feel hurt, broken, betrayed, or lonely. I felt calm. I felt like everything would be okay and I just needed to focus on being happy. A slow breath escaped my mouth and simultaneously I felt relief. "I think I am."

Jacob nudged my shoulder with his. "I'm sorry I upset you yesterday. I would never hurt you Bella, and I would never lie to you."

"Will you answer some questions for me then?"

"Sure."

I looked into Jacob's eyes as I asked the next questions. I wanted to see truthfulness. "Does Tanya want you back?"

"I think so."

"Do you want her back?" I couldn't get over how calm I felt talking like this with him.

"No, not right now. She made her choice and right now she can live with it."

"Did you ask me out and pursue me as a rebound or to get back at Tanya or Edward?"

"No."

"Do you have feelings for me?"

He grinned at me, and my eyes dropped to my feet. "I do have a lot of feelings for you. I would like to see where our relationship could go. I like who I am, when I'm with you, Bella."

The heat in my face made me aware of how Jacob's attention still affected me. "One more question and maybe we could discuss your answer. Do you love her?"

Jacob's eyes drifted up to the sky. He was really thinking about his answer and I was fine to sit and wait for it. Finally, his face turned to mine full of remorse and I already knew the answer. "Yes. I probably always will."

Even before this conversation, I knew how he would respond. I nodded my head at him. "I kind of figured. It's okay, I'm not mad."

"Bella, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay Jacob. I, more than anyone, know that you can't control your heart's desires. But, I'm not going to be what you settle for."

Jacob dropped his arm over my shoulders and pulled me closer into him. "You're an amazing woman Bella Swan. Can we still be friends?"

"I'd kill you if we weren't."

"Can I ask you a question now?"

"Of course."

Jacob gazed out into the woods across the street. "Could you have loved me?"

Thoughtfully, I tried to find the right words to respond to my new friend. "I already care for you deeply. But, most of my heart belongs somewhere else and I don't think I had enough to give. Just as I didn't want to be loved part way, I couldn't do that to someone else either."

Jacob nodded his head in agreement and I laid my head on his shoulder. When Jacob laid his head on mine I knew he and I would always be good friends.

We sat and talked on the porch for another hour or so, when he received an emergency call into the hospital and had to leave. I was sad to see him go, I had genuinely enjoyed being with him, and I was excited to have him as a friend.

Once back inside I was immediately greeted by Alice who was miraculously back to her prying self. "What did Jacob want?"

"To talk." I made my way past her towards the kitchen. My stomach had been begging for nourishment the last hour or so.

Of course she followed right on my heels. "Are you two still dating?"

"No, we're just going to be good friends," I said pulling a yogurt out of the fridge. The excitement in her face didn't go unnoticed, but I also wasn't going to respond to it.

"So… Bella… I was thinking," she was using the sweet voice. What did she want from me? "Since Jasper is going to be gone all day doing guy stuff. I thought you and I could have a day of girl stuff. Watch some chick flicks, facial masks, pedicures, eat a pan of brownies, and talk about boys."

Strangely Alice's offer was extremely appealing. "The movies have to include _Say Anything, The Holiday, _and_ Pride and Prejudice. _ My eyes could definitely use the facial mask." I looked down at my bare toes. "I'm in desperate need of the pedicure. And we'll need a very large pan of brownies. No boy talks, please. Oh, and we will definitely need to make a run for some Dr. Pepper."

Alice jumped up and down clapping her hands in front of her. "Sounds perfect. This will be just like the old days, minus my annoying brothers making fun of us."

Alice and I spent the rest of the day just being girls. Even though this was normally the kind of thing that I didn't enjoy, today it was perfect. She abided by my demand and did not mention a single man, which was a great relief to me. We did everything I requested and Alice even played with my hair while I laid in her lap fantasizing about Mr. Darcy. Alice had been the perfect best friend.

I retired early to bed that night, as I was still mentally and emotionally exhausted. Carlisle and Esme had dinner plans with some old family friend's tomorrow night. So, family dinner would be family brunch in the morning. The morning would be a true test of my strength.

"Come on Bella, we're going to be late. Emmett will eat everything before we get there. You know waiting until ten to eat is complete torture for him," Alice yelled.

I added one more brush of mascara and took a look in the mirror. I normally didn't really wear makeup, but in a desperate attempt to cover my still horrible looking eyes I decided to cover them with some makeup.

As entered the entry, I saw an impatient Alice tapping her foot and Jasper at her side flipping his keys in his hand. "Calm down Alice. We aren't going to be late, and besides Emmett won't even be there."

Alice's hands went to her tiny hips. "Yes he will. When Edward told Rose about Mia throwing up, Rose got on the next plane home. There must be something that possesses you when you become a mother, because if I had a choice between San Francisco and a puking kid, I would have stayed in San Francisco."

"Do you know how Mia is doing?" I asked as I put on my jacket.

"Of course she's fine. Edward just let's those girls eat whatever they want and her body was rejecting it. I bet Rose doesn't let Edward watch them for a while." A wicked grin spread across her face. She had always been bothered that Emmett and Rose ask Edward to watch the girls before her.

The drive to the Cullen's was spent with Jasper regaling us with details of his hunting trip the day before. Alice and I dry heaved every five seconds in response to his gruesome details.

Just as Alice had predicted, the first thing we saw when we walked into the dining room was Esme smacking Emmett's hands away from the food. "Not until Alice, Jasper, and Bella get here."

"We're here, Esme," Jasper interrupted.

Emmett's hands smacked and rubbed together. Just like Mr. Miagi on the Karate Kid. "It's about time. Let's eat. Come on girls get to the table." Everyone around the room laughed at Emmett's childlike behavior and gravitated towards the table. "Someone go find Edward he's moping around here somewhere."

I don't know why but my stomach lurched at Emmett's comment, and my eyes roamed the great room in search of Edward. Finally, Edward entered the room being pulled by Emma. He looked awful. He was pale, his eyes had deep purple circles under them, and his lips were tight as he tried to smile at everyone. He looked worse than I did. I wondered if he had gotten sick from Mia.

Everyone sat down at the table and Carlisle offered a word of prayer. Then everyone dove into the delicious brunch Esme had prepared.

The only time the Cullen family was quiet was during the distributing of the food and the first initial bites. As everyone ate they would all _Mmmm_ and tell Esme what a fabulous meal she had prepared, yet again. Then within a few minutes the conversation would begin and inevitably end with all of us in laughter.

As predicted, the conversation began with Rose and Emmett's trip. They would definitely be a fun couple to vacation with.

"So, Bella, we understand you helped Edward out with the girls this week," Rosalie stated. I nodded my head, my mouth full of a blueberry muffin.

"I heard you even stayed the night." Emmett added and giving me a wink. I felt the heat slowly spread from my neck all the way to my hairline.

I cleared my throat. "Yup, I had to pay Edward back for a bet we'd made and it started bright and early by making the girls their breakfast." Everyone at the table started to laugh, everyone except Edward, who just moved his food around on his plate.

Rosalie leaned over looking at her girls. "Did you guys have fun with Bella?"

All of the girls nodded in unison.

"I didn't like it when that man made Aunt Bella sad at the beach," Mia expressed sadly.

Everyone's eyes turned and looked at me. I was not going to have this conversation at the table with the whole Cullen clan.

Luckily, Emma interrupted the questioning stares I was receiving. "I saw Uncle Edward on top of Aunt Bella, kissing her in the bed."

_Well, maybe not so lucky_.

**Chapter Notes**: So what did you think? Finally, they kiss and for those of you expressed your hate for Jacob he is no longer a romantic issue.

So here is my reward offer. Most of you expressed last chapter that you wanted to know what was said between Bella and Jacob on the beach. Unfortunately, it was never intended to be in this chapter. But, I wrote it as an out take, it is written in Jacob's POV. **Everyone who leaves me a review will get the out take in reply.** I know I am shameful, but take it or leave it.

Also Change of Heart is up for some nominations over at the Indie Awards.

Category:  
Best Alternate Universe Human WIP  
Most Romantic Moment WIP  
So head on over and vote starting on. Here is the link if you would like to check it out /. Thanks to those that nominated and enjoy my story.

Come on over and hang with us on the thread, .?f=44&t=3963&start=300

Okay, that's all. Now review so you can get the out take.


	20. Chapter 20

**Author Notes:**

Sorry this took forever, I had some writers block and Edward, Bella, and me were arguing a lot about what should happen.

Thanks to Ginny for her infinite wisdom and thanks to Lynelle for her genius and being the best person I know.

This chapter is for all you girls on the thread. I love you all. You are amazingly perceptive and you all crack me up.

I was very humbled by the amount of reviews I received last chapter. It made me so happy to hear all of your thoughts. Thank you so much.

**Brunch**

"I saw Uncle Edward on top of Aunt Bella, kissing her in the bed," Emma innocently announced to the table full of Cullen's.

My hand froze holding my fork midway to my mouth. My jaw was left hanging wide open. I couldn't believe the words that had just left Emma's mouth. What I thought was about to be my rescue, turned out to be my demise. My eyes squeezed shut, and I prayed that this was a nightmare. I was pulled from my escape when the sound of six forks clanked down onto their white china plates in synchronization. As the silence lingered, I started to rejoice in the thought that this really was all part of a horrible dream. But the sound of a soft soprano voice shattered all hope.

"What's wrong, Mommy?" Mia asked innocently. Emma's giggle erupted beside me.

Unwillingly, I opened my eyes and quickly glanced at the people surrounding the table. Carlisle's eyes darted back and forth between Edward and me with a look of shock. Esme was beaming with a smile that I could feel almost as much as I could see. Rosalie stared at me with raised eyebrows and an evil smirk playing at the corners of her mouth. Emmett had his hand clamped over his mouth looking like he was using all of his strength not to burst into laughter. Jasper just gawked back at me as if he were feeling my embarrassment also. Alice wore a different expression than everyone else. Alice had a look of sadness or disappointment. Her face caused a whole other set of nerves to take over my stomach. Three little girls sat looking from one adult to the other, wondering what was going on. It felt like hours passing as I scanned my friends around the table, when in actuality it couldn't have been more than a couple of seconds. My rib cage was starting to ache from the beating it was taking from my heart.

Reluctantly, my eyes drifted towards Edward. Edward sat with his elbow on the table and his long fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. I couldn't decipher the look on his face. Was it mortification, anger, frustration, or dread? Or like me, was he hoping this was all a bad dream? Edward let go of the bridge of his nose and slid it up into his hair. A habit I had always found captivating. But as he tilted his face towards mine, I saw he wasn't upset, embarrassed, or irritated at all; Edward was trying to fight off a grin. The corners of his mouth were threatening to pull up, as he bit down onto his lower lip. I couldn't believe he thought this was funny. _Jerk!_

Realizing I was going to have to resolve this on my own, I straightened up my spine, rolled my shoulders back, set down my fork, and raised the napkin from my lap to wipe my face, trying to delay the inevitable.

Looking right at Emma, giving her the sweetest smile I could muster I said, "No, Emma. Remember Uncle Edward told you he was just getting something out of my eye." Emmett's mouth ruptured allowing a short laugh to escape, which he quickly tried to cover up with a cough.

Emma shook her head vehemently. "No, that is exactly how it looks when my daddy kisses my mommy."

My chest started to constrict, I couldn't believe I was trying to convince a child she was wrong to cover my own mistakes. I couldn't call this child a liar. I also couldn't tell the entire Cullen family what had transpired between Edward and me the night before. I don't know why, but I looked back over at Edward again begging him with my eyes for help. All I got from that jerk was a questioning look, as he raised his eyebrows and tilted his head towards Emma. Did he really expect me to explain what happened between us to Emma? I was going to kill him! I felt tears starting to well up in my eyes.

As if it were an automatic reaction I looked to Esme to fix my problem.

Esme gave me a sympathetic look, and nodded at me. Using her most persuasive smile she turned towards the girls. "Hey girls, I saw some pretty dolls you brought in with you. Can you show me?"

Emma and Mia quickly nodded in response and jumped from their chairs to go find their dolls. Isabel started to squirm in her booster seat, wanting to follow her sisters. Rosalie let her down and she toddled out of the room after them, with Esme right behind her.

Rosalie made an obvious turn in her seat towards me and crossed her arms over her chest. _Oh no, oh no! I can't breathe._

"So, Rose, Emmett, what else happened on your trip?" Carlisle jumped in. I looked quickly over to him, thanking him with my eyes. Carlisle just gave me a quick wink and then turned back to the couple that was telling a story about Emmett almost falling into the ocean while taunting the sea lions on the wharf.

Once I knew all focus was back to Emmett and Rosalie, I turned towards Edward. I unleashed a glare that I thought would set him on fire, and I almost relished in the thought of him dancing around in flames. Of course, Edward was completely unfazed by my anger. He just smiled at me with his cocky crooked grin. All feelings of friendship were quickly seeping out from my pores. In that moment all I saw was that cocky punk from high school that thought he was better than me and loved to make me squirm. Both of my hands gripped the bottom of my chair so tightly I wondered if my knuckles might burst through my skin. My chest was pounding and not in a good way. Red-hot anger engulfed my chest. I knew I was on the verge of erupting like a violent volcano.

With my teeth gritted tightly together, I forced a whisper out to him. "Edward, can I talk to you outside for a minute?"

He just responded with his beautiful smile, which I wished I could rip off of his face. "Of course, Bella," in his most sugar coated voice. He then stood from his chair and walked towards the front door.

I refused to even look at everyone else at the table, who, I'm sure were gawking at our two retreating bodies.

Edward walked right out of the front door without turning around. He was directly in my path. I started to feel like I was a predator and he was my prey, any minute I could pounce on him and shred him to pieces. He walked down the porch steps and half way down the driveway before he turned back towards me. I pulled the door closed behind me and descended the steps towards him. I crossed my arms transversally against my chest and continued my assault on him with my eyes. Edward shoved his hands deep into his pockets, and his gaze never left mine. My frustration grew exponentially as I noticed he continued to be completely unaffected by my obvious anger.

Once I was within inches of his face, I let it all go. "What the hell was that Edward?" I screamed throwing my arms up into the air.

Edward casually shrugged his shoulders. "What do you mean?"

"Did you think that was all amusing? Your whole family knowing that we were kissing in bed. Everyone waiting for a response and all you did was sit there smirking at me. You're such a jerk! You haven't changed at all! You are still the same arrogant jerk you were growing up."

"What did you want me to do Bella?" I couldn't believe how calm he sounded. He was completely unaffected by my anger. He wasn't even trying to placate me. He obviously had gotten over the whole, "in love" with me and "would do anything" for me feelings.

"How about if you resolve that whole situation with your family? They are _your_ family, not mine, and you could've tried explaining the situation instead of sitting their enjoying my discomfort. I can't even stand…"

Edward took a small step towards me. An automatic reaction caused my foot to take a step back, but I was stopped when he grabbed my hand. My head was screaming to pull my hand from his, but my body wouldn't cooperate. I felt like the electric current that soared through me every time he touched me, had turned into a magnetic pull and I couldn't let go if I wanted to. I felt betrayed by my own body.

Edward spoke in a voice that was so soft and gentle that I had to really focus on him to hear his words. "Bella, what would you have liked me to say? Yes, Bella and I were kissing on the bed and it was the most amazing kiss I've ever experienced." I swallowed in a breath ready to argue with him, when his hand tightened around my own. "Bella, let me finish." His touch was home to me, and that angered me beyond words. Unable to speak I just nodded my head yes. "I wanted to say something in there. I wanted to stand up and say that I finally know I'm in love with you. Without reserve, I kissed you last night. Tell them I thought something began in that room that I hoped would never end. But that isn't what you wanted. You want to pretend this never happened, you're the one who doesn't want this…" he pulled our two hands that were still connected and waved them back and for the between us, "…to happen, not me. Because I respect you, and I am hoping one day you will change your mind, I won't talk about it to anyone. However, I will not lie to my family about it either. I'm not going to deny what happened in that room or what it meant to me. You're the one who wishes it hadn't happened. You're the one who walked away. So you can be the one to tell them it was nothing, because I won't."

That's the reason he hadn't helped me? He wasn't trying to embarrass me or make me uncomfortable. And he was a hundred percent right. This is how I wanted it to be and I shouldn't expect him to lie to his own family. _Wait, so he still didn't regret what happened? _I stood in front of Edward unable to move or speak. I felt like my world had just been sent into a tailspin. What was he saying? Did he really want me? There was no way that could be, he's Edward, and I'm just Bella. I was searching his eyes for something, something that could tell me if he was sincere. His beautiful green eyes bore back into my own, causing me to be less than coherent. I've dreamed of Edward wanting me all my life. Now he was telling me for a second time that he wanted me. I couldn't decide if I was supposed to follow my feelings that were yearning for him, or keep my guarded side that reminded me of all the reasons I left him last night. My internal argument was at a battle of the wills.

Edward's strong hand brought me from my thoughts, as he cradled the side of my face in his hand. "I wish I could know what you are thinking. You don't know how hard this is for me to sit here and wonder what's going on in your head."

"To be honest, Edward, I wish I knew what was going on in my head." Somehow in that moment I was able to muster the strength to pull away from him, and release his hand. All I knew was that I was confused.

"Can you tell me what you're feeling? Or, can I answer any questions to help clear anything up? Just tell me what I can do to make you see that what I'm saying is true." There was a long pause, as Edward shoved his hands into his pockets and kicked at some gravel in the driveway. "Or, can you at least tell me if you could ever love me back?" His voice cracked at the end, and it broke my heart. I had never seen Edward anything less than confident. To see him unsure and pleading was new territory and I didn't like how it made me feel like a submissive kitten. I wanted to reach out and take him in my arms like it had been last night.

My hand reached out and tugged on a piece of his t-shirt, trying to get him to look up at me. I knew I needed to give him something in return for being so open with me, but I didn't want to put myself out there. Once his green eyes were focused on me, I lost my train of thought. "Edward, I don't really know how I feel about this. It's hard for me to believe that you really care about me after all of those things you said the other night. About fighting your feelings, and Tanya having to point it out. I also have to consider that you don't seem to do well alone." He started to interrupt me but I turned his actions back on him. I reached up and took his face in my hand. "Edward, just let me finish." He smiled at me and nodded and I couldn't help the smile that I returned. "You've known me the majority of my life… and you never loved me be—"

My last words could not be voiced as Edward pulled me into his arms and kissed me again. He snaked his arm around my waist and allowed his other hand to hold onto my neck. He pressed his lips to mine but didn't move them. I could never resist this man, not when I felt the feelings that over took my body once we made contact. My hands slid up his arms and into my favorite spot, twined into his soft hair at the nape of his neck. I could feel his quick pulse under my palm that rested on his neck, and it matched my own frantic heart beat. Edward pulled his lips from mine but only millimeters.

Our eyes still closed, and our breathing hitched, he spoke against my lips. "Do you love me?" His voice was shaky and unsure. How could he not know I loved him? The more I thought about it, I realized he could easily not know, because even though way deep down inside I knew part of me didn't hate him, I never really _knew_ how much I loved him until a couple of weeks ago.

I pulled my face away from his and buried it into the crook of his neck. He dropped his hand from my neck down to my waist and pulled me in tighter.

"What? Please talk to me. Will you look at me?"

I shook my head keeping it buried in his neck, savoring in the smell that was Edward. "I can't look at you when I say this." He waited so patiently, dragging his fingers gingerly up and down my spine, sending shivers through my body.

With my face still hidden, I took a deep breath and decided to tell Edward my most embarrassing secret. "Edward, you have no idea how long—"

"Edward, Bella," Emmett's voice yelled from the porch. Quickly, I pulled away from Edward's embrace and looked towards Emmett. "The girls want to perform their ballet recital dance for all of us."

My gaze turned towards Edward, his eyes were pleading and I desperately wanted to give him whatever it was he wanted from me. But we would have to continue this another time.

"We'll be right in," I yelled to Emmett.

Edward let out a whispered gasp, "No."

I nodded towards the house and gave Edward a half smile. "We'll do this later." He looked at me reluctantly. I couldn't blame him. I wasn't positive I would ever get the nerve to tell him I loved him again. "I promise."

He only raised the corner of his mouth for me and grabbed my hand pulling me towards the house. For the first time there wasn't a single part of me that wanted to resist contact with this man.

Emma and Mia gave a perfect ballet performance in their little tutus. Then they repeated it a second time holding their new dolls Emmett and Rose had brought them from San Francisco, having the dolls do the dance too. Once the dance was over, everyone praised and hugged the girls. Edward sat on the floor with the girls surrounding him, telling him the stories of their dolls. These American Girl dolls sounded more like a history lesson than a toy to me. Edward with his nieces always melted away some of the ice around my heart.

Alice stood up from the couch. "I'm going to go take care of the dishes."

Alice hadn't said a word since Emma's announcement at the table. She also hadn't looked at me. I needed to figure out what was wrong. Was she this upset that her brother and I had maybe kissed?

Esme, started to rise from the couch. "I'll help you Alice."

I leapt to my feet. "Absolutely not, Esme, you made that fabulous breakfast, you are not cleaning it up. I'll help Alice."

"Thank you, Bella."

Rosalie started to get up from the couch, but I quickly turned towards her and subtly shook my head no towards her. Rosalie scrunched her eyebrows at me, confused. I nodded my head towards Alice. She nodded, still confused, but that was enough for me. I quickly turned to hurry to the kitchen with Alice.

Alice was opening up the stainless dishwasher to start unloading the dishes. She didn't even acknowledge my presence. I started putting food into Tupperware containers and into the refrigerator.

This was weird. In all my twenty years of knowing Alice, she'd never been silent with me like this. "Alice, are you okay?"

She continued to put away dishes without missing a step. "Uh huh."

"Alice what's going on?" I walked over and grabbed her shoulders forcing her to face me. Her face stayed focused on the floor. When she decided to look up at me, tears were in her eyes.

I grabbed her into my arms without thought. "What's wrong, honey?"

I heard a few sniffles in my shirt before she answered me. "Is what Emma said true? About you and Edward kissing," she asked as she pulled away from me leaning against the island.

"Alice…" I dropped my head unable to look at Alice. I wondered if Alice had always been joking about Edward and me being together. Maybe when it became a possibility, she didn't like the idea of me with her brother. Or maybe she thought I was using her to get to her brother. "Alice, it's not what you think."

"Did you and Edward kiss?"

Forcing myself I looked up and met Alice's sad eyes. Suddenly I realized she wasn't mad at all. She was hurt. I couldn't lie to my best friend. As much as I would love for nobody to know about my predicament, I couldn't keep this from Alice, and I could no longer keep my feelings about her brother a secret.

"Yes."

She just stared at me and then a single tear fell down her face. It felt like eternity before she responded. "Aren't I your best friend?"

"Of course, you know that."

"Then how could you spend the entire day with me yesterday and never say a word?"

I felt ashamed that my pride had hurt my best friend. Granted, I'd thought she'd never find out. I thought that Emma would wake up the next day and forget all about it. I thought today Edward would come to his senses and be just as eager to keep it a secret as I was. All would be forgotten, as if it never happened.

"I wasn't going to tell anyone, Alice. It was a mistake. Edward thought he felt something for me that I don't think he really does. I had a moment of weakness and as soon as it was over I knew it and I decided we should pretend it never happened." During my rant I had made my way over to lean against the island next to Alice, our shoulders now touching.

"What did Edward say about his feelings towards you?" She looked confused, as she grabbed onto the counter and hopped on top of it.

Following her lead, I hopped up also. "Well, he thinks… he thinks he loves me." Her eyes started to light up, and I had to squash that dream quick. "Alice I know better. Edward doesn't love me. He just got dumped and he's scared of being alone."

"No, Edward would never tell a girl he loved her unless he did."

"Really? Because when he told me he loved me he informed me that Tanya had to tell him he loved me." The excitement in her face vanished. "He also told me he's been fighting any feelings he had for me for weeks. What is all of this? Who am I, Elizabeth Bennett? And he is Mr. Darcy? Am I a whole class below him, and he needed to fight off feelings for the wrong girl?" I spoke at lightning speed through my rant, as all the feelings of that night came crashing back to me.

Alice was shaking her head, a look of pure disappointment covering her face. "Why is my brother such an idiot? Does he have any filter at all? Ugh, I could kill him right now."

"No! This is why I didn't want to tell anyone. I don't want our issues to come between any members of your family. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt me. He was just being honest. I'm kind of glad I had all of the information before I let myself hope, because I don't think I could have recovered if—"

Alice leapt off of the counter and was now standing in front of me with a wicked grin on her face. "Wait, do you love Edward?"

Had I let that bit of information be exposed to a member of the Cullen family? I shook my head vehemently as I tried to replay the last conversation in my head.

"If you don't love him, then why would you hope that he loved you and what would you have to recover from if he decided he didn't?" Her arms were now crossed and she looked at me completely proud of herself like she just solved the greatest mystery on earth.

Deep down I knew I needed to get this out. I needed to pour out my heart with no barriers, no secrets, and no fear.

"Hey, talk to me. I love you and I'm not going to judge you or push you. I just want to be here for you like you've always been for me. Forget he's my brother. I'm just Alice, your BFF. Are you in love with Edward?"

I took in a long steady breath and then made eye contact with Alice. I couldn't spit out the words, so I just nodded my head.

Alice squealed at the top of her lungs and started bouncing in place.

"Shhhh," I hissed at her.

Quickly, she covered her mouth with her hands. Even with both of her hands across her face, I could still see the ear-to-ear grin on her face. How could I not smile back at her? I'd finally been honest with my feelings towards Edward, other than in my head. The advantage was that when this all fell apart and Edward realized he didn't love me, I would now have Alice to comfort me.

"Is everything okay in here?" Jasper asked from the doorway.

Alice whipped her head around to the unexpected guest. "Fine, now get your cute little bum out of here."

Jasper winked at her and smiled at her in pure adoration. I wondered as I watched his retreating figure, what it would be like to have a man love you the way he loves Alice.

"How long?"

Perplexed by what she wanted to know, I gave her a look of confusion. "How long what?"

She let out a frustrated breath. "How long have you loved Edward?"

The crimson started to spread from my chest to my hairline. "For as long as I can remember."

"What?" She practically screamed.

"Alice," I hissed. "Be quiet."

"Well, how am I supposed to react when you drop a bomb like that on me? Geez! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because, until I moved back here I never let myself admit it, even to myself."

"So, it wasn't because you don't trust me or don't feel close to me?"

"No, Alice, you're my best friend. Trust me if I told anyone about anything it would be you." I'd barely finished the last words before she jumped into my arms for a pipsqueak bear hug.

My phone started vibrating in my pocket. I let go of Alice and pulled out my phone. Excitement overcame me and felt relief as I read the name on caller ID, _Charlie_. Charlie was finally home.

Looking up at Alice, I gave her an apologetic look. "It's Charlie, I'm going to take this."

Alice nodded her head towards me and headed towards the family room. She stopped half way and spun around towards me. "Bella, we'll finish this conversation later. I'm nowhere near satisfied with the amount of information you've given me." She gave me a conspiring look and turned back around.

That will be fun. She won't leave me alone until my every thought is an open book.

"Hey, Dad," I answered excitedly.

"Hey to you too, Kid."

"How was your trip?" I was really excited to hear from Charlie. I was pleased with the way that our relationship had become so open since I had moved here. Well open for Charlie and me. Most other families probably were a lot closer.

"Um, it was good. I'm home now, if you wanted to come back today."

"Of course I want to come home. I've been dying to get out from under the Cullen watch." We both laughed understanding one another's need to be alone sometimes.

"All right, well Sue and I are about to go and grab some lunch and then I'll be home."

"Okay, I'll see you in a while… Dad, I missed you."

"Me too, Kid." This was as expressive as Charlie had been with me. To the common person, it didn't seem like much. But for me, it caused a lump in my throat.

Once I returned to the living room, I couldn't help but burst into laughter at the sight in front of me. Edward and Emmett were circling each other around the large family room in a wrestling match. The whole family sat around on the couches watching as the audience.

"Come on, Eddie. You scared?" Just as the words left Emmett's mouth, Edward lunged at Emmett's legs causing Emmett to hit the ground face first landing on top of Edward. The entire couch of spectators and myself couldn't control the fits of hysterics that over took us. I had to bend over and hold my stomach at the sight of two grown men rolling around the floor groaning.

"Edward, you're such a cheater. It's like you always know what I'm about to do." Emmett sat up, holding onto a goose egg already forming on his forehead.

"Don't cry because you're almost twice my size and I just took you down. It's just too bad you landed on top of me. I think you broke my back." Edward rolled over onto his stomach, trying to stretch out his back.

I finished walking into the room, working hard to contain my smirk. "Don't you two think you're a little too old to be wrestling?"

"Humph. No way! You're never too old to beat the crap out of your little brother," Emmett spouted.

Edward rolled his eyes at Emmett. "Or your older brother."

I just shook my head at the two children trapped in men's bodies. I scanned the room looking for Alice. "Hey, Alice, my dad is going to be home in about an hour. Do you think we could head to your house and grab my stuff, and then you could take me home?"

"Bella, why are you so anxious to leave me? Haven't you been having fun with us?" she whined.

Jasper wrapped an arm around Alice. "Of course we'll take you, Bella."

After kissing and hugging everyone goodbye, other than Edward, I made my way to the front door with Alice and Jasper.

Not sure of how to say goodbye to Edward, I just gave a small wave and a "see you later."

Right as I went through the doorway, Rosalie called my name. I turned around with a smile, "What's up, Rose?"

An evil grin spread across her face and my gut instinct was telling me to run. I didn't want to hear what she was about to say. "Hey, next time you are going to make out with my brother in-law, with my kids in the house, can you shut and lock the door?"

I could feel the red spread like fire across my body. My eyes darted from person to person around the room. Every single person in the room did their best to contain their laughter. None of them was doing a very good job of it. I could even hear Alice and Jasper laughing behind me.

I just shook my head in embarrassment. "Thanks a lot, Rosalie." Wanting to escape the humiliation, I bolted out the door. As I ran, I heard Rosalie yell, "Anytime, Bella!"

Keeping my distance, I followed Jasper and Alice out to their car.

"Bella!" Edward's velvety voice called from the front door.

As I turned around, my breath was taken away by the way Edward stood at the top of the porch with his hands tucked into the pockets of his perfectly fitted jeans. His button up shirt was un-tucked with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing his muscular forearms. The form-fitting shirt accentuated his broad shoulders and chest. He wasn't wearing any shoes, and his toes curled over the top step; even his feet were beautiful. His sexy hair was in its usual disarray. His green eyes pierced into mine as he bit into his lower lip. I felt like my feet were locked on the ground. I knew I should be moving towards him, but I couldn't stop myself from gawking at him. _Why, why couldn't he be unattractive?_

When his face broke into a knowing smirk, I was snapped from my daze. He was completely aware of my ogling.

"What's up?" I asked as I walked back towards him. Once I was standing at the bottom of the steps I rested my hands on my hips.

Edward crossed his arms over his chest and took in our surroundings as he looked over my head, then slowly returned his gaze to me. "When will we continue the talk we had out here earlier?"

Ugh, doesn't anyone in this family forget anything? I wondered if I could just get Alice and Edward in a room and just have this conversation once. "Um, I'm not sure."

"Bella," he took the steps two at a time until he was standing next to me. "I guess I worded that wrong. We _are_ going to continue that talk. Can I take you out this week to continue the conversation from earlier?"

Cat had definitely caught my tongue. He was gorgeous, sure of himself, and in control, everything appealing to me. I hadn't made a decision yet. I wasn't sure if I believed that what he said was true. But I absolutely couldn't resist any request from this man. "Can I think about it?" His face fell slightly. I knew he was disappointed. "I wanted to ask you a favor." His head snapped back up, he looked completely confused. "I know I have no right to ask anything of you after the way I have treated you the last couple of days, but…"

"I hope you know that I will give you almost anything you ask of me." His voice was sincere, and it softened my heart. I had really, truly, been unkind to him the last couple of days, especially if his feelings could be real. I didn't deserve his kindness.

"Well, it's been a while since I've been able to go running with the whole stalker thing. I really _need_ to go running, so I can clear my head." I shifted my weight onto my other foot, and started to focus on my twitting fingers. I felt selfish asking him to do anything for me. "Would you be willing to get up early tomorrow and go with me?"

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be. Still six o'clock?" I nodded my head at him with an elated look taking over my face. "All right, I'll be there. Please don't forget about my offer to take you out, so we can talk." He winked and then wrapped his hand around my bicep. He leaned into the side of my face letting his five o'clock shadow graze my cheek as he made his way to my ear. His lips moved over my ear as he spoke, "I meant what I said last night, Bella. I'm not going to change my mind. I'll be here until you tell me to leave." Then he kissed me on the cheek, ran up the stairs, and into the house.

Every part of my body was on fire. I wondered if that man had any idea what his touch did to me. As the flames raced through my body, I knew that Edward would have me. My walls were gone, and I had never been surer of my love for this amazing man.

I just needed time. Time to make sure that he had no doubt, that his feelings for me were real and not just convenient or passing. I needed that time for me to trust that what he felt was true because I knew once I handed myself over to him, my heart would be his forever.

**Chapter Notes:**

So what did you all think? Which conversation was best, Bella and Alice, Bella and Charlie, or one of the two Bella and Edwards?

Thank you for sticking with the story. I love writing this and it makes it so rewarding seeing all of your reviews, and chatting with you on the threads.

Go ahead click the review button, you know you want to make me do the happy dance.


	21. Chapter 21

**Author Notes:**

Thank you Ginny and Gernellers for getting me the chapter back before I leave; I owe you some big hugs.

Thank you to all of you that review and chat on the thread. You make all of my time and fights with Bella and Edward so worth it.

I don't own Twilight.

**Surrendering**

I shoved the door open, leaving my keys still in the lock and dropped my bags on the entryway floor. Staring at the bags at my feet, I wondered how I had accumulated so much stuff over at Alice's house. Then I realized most of them were shopping bags. Bags of stuff I hadn't even purchased myself. I would just find them sitting on my bed mysteriously every night. Alice could drive anyone crazy with her shopping antics, but despite her obsession, she always managed to dress others better than on your own. And for that, I loved her. I shoved the bags over to the side, grabbed the keys, and leaned against the door pushing it closed. I let out a long breath of relief. Finally, I was back in my own house.

It wasn't that I didn't like being with Jasper and Alice, it was just that I really liked my own space. I liked to move to the beat of my own drum. If I felt like just sitting around and doing nothing, I did it. If I felt like staying in a pair of sweats for two days, it wasn't a problem. But with Alice, we always go ninety miles per hour and I'd have to be fully dressed or she'd do it for me. At that moment, more than ever, I really needed some quiet alone. I needed time to think and straighten everything out in my head, and really absorb all that had happened. I let out another long breath and pushed myself off the door.

"Dad, I'm home!" I yelled as I started retrieving my bags.

The sound of my dad's feet stomping down the stairs startled me a little; after spending the week with the Cullen's who are so graceful, I never heard them take a step, my dad's footsteps sounded like a herd of wild elephants. A wide grin spread across my face as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey, Kiddo, do you need some help getting all that stuff upstairs?"

Without saying a word I threw my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder. "I missed you, Dad."

I felt Charlie relax under my embrace after a few seconds and he wrapped his arms around me. "I missed you, too." The crack in his voice didn't escape my notice.

I was so glad to be back here at home. I wasn't happy about the circumstances that brought me here, but I was glad something did. It brought me back here to my dad. I felt like since the heart attack, we had developed a closer bond. I realized how much I really loved him and needed him, and every day we were getting better about expressing those emotions to each other.

I squeezed him a little harder one last time and then released him. Charlie followed me upstairs carrying my laptop and pillow for me. I dropped everything on the floor at the foot of my bed. Charlie walked over and laid my pillow on my bed and set the laptop on my desk.

"Thanks, Dad," I said as I plopped myself down onto my bed.

"Sure," he mumbled as he walked towards the door. I watched him as he lingered in the doorway with his hands in his pockets, shifting from one foot to the other.

"Dad, is there something wrong?"

He turned towards me slowly, and even more slowly lifted his head up to look at me. "Nope, nothing's wrong."

"Okay, is there something you wanted to talk about?" Charlie didn't usually linger, he also never just came right out and said what he thought either. I knew there was definitely something he wanted to say but I was going to have to pry it out of him. "Dad, come sit down." He shuffled over to my bed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "What's going on?"

"Well… I…I just wanted to talk to you about something." I nodded my head encouraging him to go on. He looked at me and then subtly shook his own head. I think he was trying to convince himself to spit it out. "You know Sue and I just took this trip together." Ah ha! That's what this was about, _the_ _girlfriend_. "Well, I wanted you to know that she's my girlfriend."

"I know."

"Bella, I really care about Sue, and… I mean she means a lot to me… and—" I knew at the rate he was going I could be here for years.

"You love her don't you?"

"Yup, and uh, Bella, I think I'm going to ask her to marry me."

I practically leapt off the bed. "That's fantastic, Dad! I'm so happy for you. Sue's wonderful. I can tell you're really happy with her." My thoughts were being thrown out so fast; I think I might have scared him. He quickly stood up from the bed and started to rub the back of his head. "Sorry, did I overwhelm you there?"

A small smile crept over his face. "Nah… well maybe a little. So you do like her? I wanted to make sure you were okay with that."

"I love Sue, but more importantly I love you and I want whatever is going to make you happy."

Charlie sat back down on the edge of my bed again staring down at the floor again, and I wondered what else he was going to say. "Thank you, Kid. It makes me happy knowing you love Sue, too." He let out a long, slow breath and started with the neck rubbing again. "Are you happy, not happy for me, but with you and your life?"

"Yeah, I think so." I wasn't sure if that was a question or an answer.

"I know that you've never really been one for relationships, since I have never even seen or heard of a boy around here until the Dr." Oh_ no, is he really going to try and have this conversation with me. Kill me now. _"I know I haven't been the best example to you, of how to show emotion or even really feel emotions. I just don't want you to end up alone, Bella. I know how lonely it can be and I don't want that for you, you deserve better." I saw a tear escape Charlie's eye and fall down onto the wooden planks of my bedroom floor. Seeing Charlie's love and concern for me caused a lump to build in my throat.

"I get what you're saying and I'm working on it."

"You need to let go of your anger towards that Cullen kid. He may not always be there, when you decide to acknowledge what the two of you are. Well, I just wouldn't want you to ever look back and have regrets."

My eyes felt like they were going to bug out of my head. I had no words. Charlie looked over at me with a smirk on his face. "Honey, just because I don't say much doesn't mean I don't see what's going on. You've loved that boy since you two were riding bikes with training wheels."

My jaw just continued to hang wide open. One, I had never heard Charlie talk this much in one sitting. Two, never in a million years would I have thought of Charlie as a person perceptive to anyone else's emotions. I still had no words.

Charlie patted my knee and started to leave the room. "Just think about it, Kid."

I spent the remainder of the day doing the massive amount of laundry after we had both been out of town last week, and editing some more of James Gigandet's book. I needed to be much further along than I was for tomorrow afternoon's meeting. I didn't get very far before sleep overtook me.

_Beep, Beep, Beep_

Angrily, I pounded the horrible contraption that awoke me from my nightly replay of the most amazing kiss of my life. Right up to the point where the perfect man's niece interrupts that moment of bliss.

As I kicked off my sheet and blankets, I started to feel like a child throwing a tantrum. Then I remembered that the perfect man from my dreams was probably waiting for me right outside. Within a blink of an eye, I was bouncing to a happier beat. I dressed as quickly as possible and chose to forgo stretching and my usual water and banana. I ran down the stairs almost missing the last step, just catching myself on the railing.

Once I reached the door, I took a couple of calming breaths and then opened it.

Leaning against the door of his silver Volvo was Edward. His arms crossed over his chest and ankles linked to each other, ready to run, and looking absolutely beautiful. I ogled him a little longer since he hadn't noticed me open the door yet. As I stared at his face, I saw there was something bothering him.

Panic over took me in seconds_. Oh, no! He's come to his senses. He doesn't want me. He's trying to figure out how to break it to me._

Just as I felt like I might start to hyperventilate, his head jerked up in my direction. Then his breathtaking smile over took his face. Heat coursed through me as the fear flushed out of my body. A huge smile took over my face, even though I begged it to retreat. Edward jogged across the street returning my smile with his crooked grin.

"Hey, what had you looking so bummed a minute ago? Scared you might not be able to keep up?"

Shaking his head and giving me a little smirk he said, "Keeping up with you is the least of my worries." I was about to make a smart remark, when his face sobered up. "I was just wondering if we were going to be getting any visitors today."

My heart clinched a little at the reminder of our last run together. It had been days since the incident with the scary SUV. I was trying hard to forget it and pretend it was over.

"Hey, how about if we go about as if none of that ever happened. Let's just act like you are here because you just want a great workout and I am the only person who can challenge you."

"Sounds perfect."

"So, here is the deal. I told you how when I run it's my time to clear my head and get myself centered. Because of you, I have even more to think about lately." I gave him a wink, and he just shook his head at me. "So I need at least half of this run to be silent. Now, half of the run is right around Newton's Sporting Goods Store. Do you prefer silence the first half or the second half?"

Edwards jaw was hanging open. "Are you serious?"

Pulling my hands from my hips and crossing my arms next to my chest I told him, "Take it or leave it."

"I guess silence the first half; just in case we get involved in a good conversation. I don't want you to end it when we reach your 'conversation ends here' spot," he responded with some sarcasm in his voice.

"Mock all you want, Edward. You're the one that wants answers. To get answers. I need to run in silence."

Edward, deciding he was hilarious, acted like he was locking his lips shut and throwing away the key. He then proceeded to open his arm out towards the street for me to lead the way.

As I ran past him I mumbled, "You don't have to be a smart aleck." He just returned my comment by putting one finger up to his mouth, silencing me.

"Ugh!" Once I let out my loud yell, I took off running.

I could hardly contain the internal excitement I was feeling to finally be here. It had been a few days since I had been able to go running. My body ached for the stretch and release of tension. My mind craved the clarity I received on these bouts. My heart needed me to find answers about Edward.

I sprinted harder than I had in a long time and my brain was not working. Nothing was clearing; everything was just getting foggier and foggier. The hazier it got, the harder I ran. I could hear Edward panting just a step behind me. I just kept pushing, trying to feel the freedom I normally felt and it wasn't coming. My frustration was taking over and I knew I needed some kind of release…I needed to scream. I bolted off of the street as I approached a large wooded area. I ran deep into the woods unaware of whether Edward was behind me or not. The only thing I was aware of was the crunching of leaves and twigs under my feet, and the occasional branch that slapped across my shins. I just needed to get far enough into the woods that my frustrated release wouldn't terrorize anyone.

My feet came to a halting stop when I came to a small river that I knew I couldn't clear with a jump. I dragged my fingers over my scalp and pulled my hair along with it, forcing my head back and my face looking up into the gray sky. Then I let all of the tension go. I let out a violent, ear piercing scream until my lungs were void of oxygen. I immediately felt like my shoulders were a little lighter. I took in a long breath and then let it go again. My chest now felt a little less weighted. After a third scream, I felt the most grounded I had felt in days. I leaned over and rested my hands on my knees dropping my head towards the ground, trying to catch a breath.

The sound of a twig snapping behind me caught my attention, and caused my heart to stutter. I spun around facing the other direction in a second.

My body instantly relaxed when I saw Edward. In that moment of release, I had forgotten he was with me. Poor, poor, man, what must he have thought watching me scream that way? My face was instantly hot from the blush that accompanied my embarrassment. My eyes darted from his, my teeth digging into my lower lip, and my hand started pulling on the bottom of my neck.

"I'm sorry about that. I kind of forgot you were here," I said still keeping my eyes trained on the soil beneath my feet.

I could hear him take a couple of steps towards me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just… I needed… I really needed this run to clear my head you know, and it wasn't happening. My frustration got the better of me and I just needed to scream." I slowly allowed my eyes to peak at him, fully prepared for him to be terrified of my erratic behavior. Edward stared at me with a tiny smirk at the corners of his mouth. "I know I must be crazy, most human beings can control their emotions better than I can."

"No, I get like that, too. I just attack a punching bag, or wrestle Emmett instead of screaming my head off."

A quick laugh escaped my mouth.

Edward took another step towards me. "See, I got you to smile."

"You always make me smile, even when you are being a jerk. That's one of the things I love about you."

Edwards's eyes grew double in size and a wicked grin dominated his face. "What did you just say?"

"You always make me smile you jerk, that's one of the things I lo—" I cut myself off and immediately headed off into the woods.

I could hear him trailing quickly behind me, so I sped up. My skin was burning with humiliation. "I need to get home. I have a lot of things I need to get done before I go to Port Angeles today."

Louder than the sound of the forest crunching beneath our feet I could hear a laugh coming from Edward.

"Bella, come here," he growled. I could hear the grin on his face. I picked up my speed as I heard him gaining on me.

Suddenly, Edward's strong arms enraptured my waist and my back was pulled up flush against his warm, muscular chest. A small squeal escaped my mouth.

"Let go of me." I made a weak effort to pry his fingers from my waist. Edward's arms made me feel so safe and small. I continued to squirm until I felt his chin rest on my shoulder and I could feel his breath on my neck.

"That's one of the things you love about me?" I surrendered to his hold not just because he was ten times stronger than me but also because my body craved where I was. "So there are _many _things you love about me?"

"Edward, you have many good qualities that everyone loves and admires about you," I huffed.

"But, I'm really only concerned with the things _you_ love about me. In fact I think we should make a list of all the things you love about me."

"I hate you. Do you know that?" I tried to elbow him in the gut, but that only made him laugh more and hold onto me even tighter.

Edward slowly pulled me backwards, never allowing any space to form between our bodies. Before I knew what was happening, my back was up against a tree and Edward was now facing me. Edward still held onto my waist with one arm, and his other lie casually on the tree above my head. Our bodies were molded to each other except for the gap in our chests that allowed his eyes to be level with mine. His beautiful emerald eyes bore into mine. I felt like he was trying to search for answers from me, and there was something beyond my control in my mind that kept him blocked out.

He breathed out in a whispered tone, "Fine, we don't have to make a list of the things you love about me. But, how about I tell you a list of things I love about you."

My breath was lost. I couldn't find it. I didn't know if it was the close proximity of his perfect body, his eyes penetrating mine, the smell of his clean breath, or the words he had just spoken. Edward slowly leaned his head over to my ear and gently told me to breathe. I let go of my breath and was embarrassed by the heavy pant that escaped my mouth.

Edward still lingered at my ear as he began to speak again. "I love your brain and your quick wit." His gentle lips grazed my neck, and I sucked in a loud gasp. "I love that you challenge me and are my equal." I could feel his breath moving as he lowered his head and skimmed my color bone with his lips. I felt my body becoming weak and heavy. "I love the lines of your body, and the way it moves when you walk." His lips now dragged to the edge of my shoulder where his teeth nipped at my flesh. A trembling sound left my mouth. "I love your relationship with my family." Edward laced his fingers with mine, and raised them to his lips, kissing each of my knuckles. An embarrassing moan escaping my throat, I could feel his smile on my hand. "I love those chocolate eyes that feel like they are reaching my soul." His eyes met mine as he leaned in and I was frozen. At the last moment, he moved his mouth up kissing the side of my eye. "I love that beautiful blush that creeps over your face the majority of the time we are together." He dragged his nose from the side of my eye down to my cheek where he kissed me softly. My teeth were digging into my lip trying to control the urges that were over taking my body. "I love the sexy way you bite on your lower lip when you are nervous." Suddenly, both of his hands were pushing the stray hairs away from my face. His hands came to a stop, gingerly holding the sides of my face. He leaned his face towards me, leaving his lips a mere centimeter away from mine. "I love the way your touch sets my skin on fire." Shivers ran up my spine. "I need you to kiss me Bella," he barely whispered.

Without hesitation my lips met his. I wasn't gentle, the feelings he had instilled in me in the last five minutes with his sweet words and sensual actions left me yearning for his kiss. There were no reservations as my hands climbed up his strong back pulling on his shoulder blades. I felt like my body could not get close enough as I pulled him towards me. His body surrendered to me and I felt his full weight press me into the tree. My mouth continued to move in perfect synchronization with Edward's. A soft groan escaped his mouth, which left me wanting him even more.

The desires and urges I felt for Edward were foreign to me. This was as intimate as I'd ever been with a man and it was starting to scare me. I didn't like the lack of control I felt when I gave into my body, but I also knew that I absolutely could not stop feeling Edward this way. I craved Edward more than water, food, or air. My mind fought with my body over how long this should go on. Edward's lips continued to be assaulted by mine. As my mind won over, the kisses became gentler and softer. As my body took over, my kisses and hands became urgent and needy. The victor of the battle ended up being Mother Nature, as an urge stronger than lust took over my body.

Reluctantly, I pulled away from him. Both of our breaths were much harder than they ever were running. Edward allowed me to pull my lips away, but his arms kept me enveloped.

"Edward, we need to get back." Still breathless, and I'm pretty sure he heard the reluctance in my voice.

"Okay, if that's what you want."

"What I want and what I need are two very different things. I really need to go to the bathroom."

Edward burst into laughter. "All right lets go. I'll race you."

We ran in an awkward silence at a much quicker speed than we had earlier, the only thing that could make this moment worse would be if I didn't make it home in time. I was completely embarrassed that I had to end that intimate moment with Edward to go to the bathroom. I felt like fate was interfering with any progress we attempted to make. Something always got in the way. It was so frustrating.

Once we reached my driveway I quickly turned to Edward, "Hey, I'll be back out in just a second. Don't go anywhere."

"I'll be here."

A few minutes later I exited the front door with two bottles of water. Edward didn't hear the front door open, so I allowed myself a little ogling time, again. He was lying back on the grass with his legs bent and knees pointing towards the sky. I wondered what he was thinking about. I wondered if he thought of me as often as I thought about him. We really needed to figure our situation out. Rather, I needed to figure out how much I trusted what Edward said he felt towards me and he needed to tell me what exactly he was wanting from me.

I skipped down the steps and jogged across the grass stopping just above Edward's head. I leaned forward blocking his view of the sky. A wide grin spread over his face.

"Better?"

"Ugh, that was so embarrassing. But, yes, I feel much better."

I dropped the water down over his chest and of course he caught it, one handed even. He didn't make a move to get up so I sat down on the damp grass next to him. Neither of us said a word for a couple of minutes and I was going crazy inside, but I had no idea how to start the conversation we needed to have.

"Say what you need to say, Bella. I have to go to work soon," he said in a tired and weak voice. He continued to lie on the grass lazily staring up at the clouds that were quickly filling the sky. His lack of sensitivity stung a little, but I realized the ball was in my court. He had put himself out there and was waiting on me. And I just sat there in silence. _Did he think I didn't want him?_

"I don't know what to say, or how to start."

Edward still refused to look at me. "What do you want… from me or with me?"

"Well, I want a running partner. I want to keep the banter that has always existed between us. I don't want to lose you or your family." Edward's eyes fell closed and a look of defeat crossed his face. "I want to trust that you really want me." His faced whipped around to look at me, and he opened his mouth to say something. I held up my hand silencing him and tried to hurry through the rest of my thoughts. "That _this_ isn't a passing thought, or a rebound, or a time filler for you. I want to believe that _you_ really love _me_ and I'm really working on that, I promise. I also know that I want to kiss you like we did, all of the time. And, when I'm not with you, you are the only person I'm thinking about. I also know that I need this to move slowly."

Edward raised himself up on his elbow and turned his body so he was facing me as I sat cross-legged looking at him. I nervously sat pulling blades of grass and then breaking them into tiny shards. Edward reached his hand out and stopped my hands from my nervous activity.

"Why can't you believe me?"

"I guess it's because we've known each other for so long and you've never felt this way for me before. Plus the fact that it seems like people had to convince you to be with me."

"Bella, nobody had to convince me. I knew what I felt for you, but I fought them off constantly." My head dropped disappointed that he was again confessing that he didn't want to love me. He reached over and lifted my chin forcing me to look at him. "Not because I didn't _want_ to love you, but because I was already committed to someone else. I am not going to cheat on someone I love, even if it's only in my heart. I'm going to be honest here. I'm glad I didn't have feelings for you earlier. We wouldn't have survived. We would have killed each other in high school. We attended different colleges and with the distance and the amount of time we spent studying, it would have destroyed a relationship. So, I'm grateful that I didn't feel this way until now, after I had the time to mature." I gave him a knowing smile, and he shook his head at me. "Okay, maybe I'm just _more _matured, but right now I feel we can have a real relationship that could be lasting. So, I'm sorry if I hurt you because I didn't _see_ you more than a friend in the past, but I wouldn't change it. Also falling in love with you was so effortless, because I already knew _you_."

My insides flooded with relief. Everything he was saying to me made complete sense and it was true. He was right we never would have lasted as kids. I don't know if he would have killed me, but I definitely would have killed him. Not only did it feel good knowing he didn't fight off his feelings because he didn't want me, but also it was reassuring to see how loyal he tried to be to Tanya. My heart swelled with love for this man.

"Thank you for explaining that to me."

"Does that help?"

"Yeah," I said, returning to tearing up Charlie's grass.

"But?"

"I just… I need this to move slower than you are probably used to."

Edward sat up and mimicked my position in the grass. I felt his hand cup the side of my face and that all too familiar fire burned through my skin where he made contact.

"Bella, look at me." My eyes drifted up and into those green eyes, and I felt like I was surrendering to him. "We can take this as slow as you want. We will take baby steps. I will follow your lead. Just as long as we are moving forward, I'll be happy."

I couldn't help the look of elation that covered my face, but it made me feel better when his face mirrored what I am sure mine was. In that moment I felt like I was about to float away into the heavens. I couldn't understand how this man could say almost exactly what I needed to hear. It was like he read my mind. _Be careful Bella._ Sometimes I wished I could punch my subconscious in the face. I knew after Edward's last words that I was going to trust him, and take a leap of faith I had never taken with any other man. It was happening regardless of my panicking subconscious.

My hand reached up and covered his hand that lingered on my face. "Thank you."

"You'll see, Bella. We'll be happy together."

"You aren't going to get all cheesy and sappy on me now are you, Cullen?"

My favorite crooked grin covered his face and I felt a swell in my heart. "Nah, I'll still cringe every time I see you." He winked at me, and I felt excited at the fun we were having. This joking and teasing is half of what attracted me to him. I would be disappointed if it all stopped because we "loved each other."

Edward jumped up in one fluid motion, and then held his hand out for me. I placed my hand in his and he pulled me up. "I've got to go home and take a shower before I go to work. Can I see you tonight?"

My mind was immediately consumed with images of Edward in the shower. His lean, muscular, naked body covered in droplets of water.

"BELLA?!"

Edward calling my name jolted me from my short fantasy. "What?"

The corner of his mouth pulled up. "What were you thinking about?"

My face felt like it was on fire. "Nothing… just thinking about… um… my trip to Port Angeles later. What did you want?"

He gave me a knowing smile and I knew he didn't believe me at all. "Can I see you tonight?"

"Yeah, call me when you get off of work."

"Okay." He leaned in and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips and then wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me into a tight hug. "Be safe," he whispered into my ear.

I pushed away from him. "Go take a shower."

"I will and you should too, even though I know you'll never wash your lips again." He barely made it through his little statement without cracking himself up.

"You're such an idiot."

"Maybe, but you love it." And then he was running to his car.

_Okay, Edward, you now have my whole heart I hope you don't rip it to shreds._

After Edward left me standing in the yard, I ran into the house and jumped into the shower. I hurried out of the shower and threw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, then quickly ran down stairs to grab a yogurt, spoon, water, and a banana. Once I had all I needed, I ran up and locked myself in my room where I stayed reading, editing, and dreading my meeting with James.

Four hours later I pushed my stiff body off of my bed, tossing the manuscript up onto my desk. Raising my arms up to the ceiling, I stretched my body listening to my spine crack from my waist all the way up to my neck. I knew that sound was disturbing to so many people, but I loved the feel of it. It was like an instant tension release for my body.

I walked over to my closet and looked for a professional outfit with the most amount of fabric so I wouldn't have to worry about James's wondering eyes as much. I settled on some black slacks, a dark purple blouse, and my black tweed jacket. It was perfect. Layers up to the neck, to the wrists, and to the ankles. I was ready fairly quickly considering I was not trying to impress James beyond my ability to edit his book. I threw the manuscript in with my laptop and grabbed my purse. As I bounded down the stairs, I called for Charlie.

"Dad, I'm leaving. I'll be back in a couple of hours. I just have this meeting and then…" As I entered the kitchen I lost my train of thought as I saw Charlie leaning against the counter drinking a cup of coffee wearing a jacket and shoes. "Where are you going?"

Charlie set his mug in the sink and walked towards me. "Well, I was uncomfortable with you driving to Port Angeles alone with everything that happened last week, and I have some errands I need to take care of up there so I thought I would ride with you and shop while you are in your meeting and then we could drive home together."

"That would be great, Dad. You're sure you have errands to do? You aren't just wasting your evening to babysit me are you?"

A curious expression covered Charlie's face and he reached up and started scratching at his scalp. "No, I definitely have some shopping to do." Something was going on, but if he didn't want to tell me I wasn't going to force it.

We drove the hour to Port Angeles in complete silence. Most people would have been uncomfortable in silence for that amount of time. But not Charlie and me, we were both fine with it, it was literally a comfortable silence.

I stepped out of the car as Charlie pulled up to the restaurant. I leaned back into the car, "So, I should be done in two hours, I'll just wait for you over on those benches."

"Okay, I'll be back in a while."

Smiling at Charlie I leaned back out of the car and shut the door. Charlie drove away and I headed in to the restaurant to get this meeting over with.

The hostess directed me over to the reserved table. I knew I was a few minutes late but I didn't feel worried because James had kept me waiting for so long last time. I figured a lack of respect for people was one of his major character traits. As I rounded the corner I was immediately nervous as my eye caught sight of James waiting for me at the table. As soon as I was in his line of vision a smile grew across his face. _Dammit! I hate being late._

James stood from the table when I approached. I reached across the table to shake his hand.

"James, how are you doing?" I quickly took my seat setting my purse and laptop on the chair next to mine.

"Better now." James let his eyes do a once over on my body and I felt the bile rise in my throat.

I turned my eyes from him quickly and began to scan the menu.

James pulled the menu from my hand. "Don't bother, I already ordered for the both of us." Normally in this situation I would have given him a piece of my mind, canceled his order even if I liked it, and ordered something else. But, I knew how important he was to Random House, so instead I bit my tongue and thanked him through gritted teeth.

I threw us into business talk without giving him a moment to argue. When our food was served, I had no choice but to set work aside. I dug into my food keeping my head down towards my plate. I don't think I had ever eaten that fast, but I kept telling myself the quicker you eat, the quicker you can talk business, and the quicker you can get out of here.

"Isabella," his slimy voice purred across the table. I wondered if there were any women that actually found that attractive. "I was so disappointed when you refused to see me last time we met. I actually did some calling around and found out there is no policy about you not dating a client. I was hoping you would reconsider." He reached across the table dragging a single finger across the back of my hand. As soon as he removed his hand from mine, I quickly put my hand in my lap.

"Actually, James, I'm seeing someone now." _He's twice the man you are and I am sure he could kill you with his bare hands. _I smiled as I completed my thoughts in my head.

An arrogant smile came over his face that caused the hairs on my neck to rise. "That's unfortunate, Bella. Well I guess if I can't take you on a date, I'll have to be more creative in my methods to see you more often."

A painful feeling filled my gut and I knew it wasn't from the food. I wasn't sure what he had meant by that comment. I felt like he was trying to make me uncomfortable and I wanted this meeting over as quickly as possible. I laid my napkin across my plate.

"I'm not feeling so well. I think I may be getting sick. So why don't we get to business so you don't have to be inconvenienced with another meeting." I wasn't actually "sick", but being in his presence was making me feel sick.

I grabbed the manuscript and quickly ran through my notes with him, not even mentioning half of them.

"So those are the major points we need to touch on. I have made all of the notes and corrections in the doc file so you can look at them more in depth another time." I started putting all of my stuff away and flagged down the waitress, handing her my company credit card without even looking at the bill. "I really should be going, before I get too sick."

"Well, if you feel that ill, why don't you let me drive you home?" He had to be the creepiest and most oblivious person I had ever known. I couldn't understand how much more blunt I'd have to be for him to understand I wanted nothing to do with him outside of editing his book.

I took a deep breath to control my nerves and the desire to punch the guy in the face. "Actually, my father drove me here. He is shopping and I'm just going to call him and he'll be here in a few minutes. Thank you," I answered as I signed the credit card slip.

"Well, thank you, James. It's been a pleasure doing business. Our next meeting will be in Los Angeles, so I will see you then." I reached across the table and shook his hand. He pulled my hand towards his lips and kissed my hand, his lips lingering a little too long. I gave him a strained smile and turned to leave.

As I turned and walked away I felt some relief, but not completely because I could sense that he was following right behind me. As I headed towards the exit, I made a quick turn into the ladies room making an effort to escape him.

As soon as I was safely out of that slime ball's path, I pulled out my phone and called Charlie. He picked up the phone on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Dad, my meeting went quicker than I planned, so I am ready whenever you want to come by here."

"All right, Kid. I'm just finalizing a purchase and then I'll be right over."

"Okay, see you in a minute." I closed my phone and slipped it into my pocket. I waited a few more minutes. I wanted to be positive James would be long gone so I wouldn't have to sit with him while I waited for Charlie.

A couple of minutes later, I made my way out in front of the restaurant and sat down on a bench close to the parking lot exit. I pulled out a book and started to engross myself in a fictional world. The air was crisp and cold, but it was dry so I wouldn't complain.

I was brought out of my happy place by a soft horn honk. I smiled grateful that Charlie had gotten here so fast. I grabbed the handles of my bag and looked up. Only it wasn't Charlie sitting in front of me, it was James. He sat in the driver's seat of his car with the passenger window rolled down.

"I'll see you later. I hope you feel better soon. I wouldn't want it to interfere with your physical activities." James winked at me and a grin crept over his face that I could only describe with one word, _evil_.

I wondered if he was making some kind of innuendo about my sex life? I shivered at the thought of him being involved in my sex life or even thinking about it.

James started to laugh and peeled out of the parking lot. The sound of the squealing tires caused my eyes to snap up at the escaping car.

My knees were getting weak and my jaw hung open, unable to move. With the quick glance at his car a million thoughts ran through my head. A puzzle was being put together in my head. As the last piece was put into place and I saw the whole picture, I felt my stomach lurch. I ran over to the bushes and vomited the small amount of food I had consumed. Once I knew I had control over my stomach. I stood up straight wiping some of the vomit from my mouth. I gave a timid smile to the strangers who had just witnessed one of my low points.

I pulled out my phone and called the only person who could fix this.

By the third ring, I started to feel hysterics take over in my gut. _Please answer, please answer._

A deep bellowing voice answered and I allowed myself to breathe. "Forks Police Department?"

My voice and my body started to shudder uncontrollably. "Emmett… "

**Chapter Notes: **

So, what did you think? Go ahead click on the little green button and show me some love if you've got some.

Come visit us on the thread at Twilighted, the address is in my profile.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Notes: **

Thanks Gernellers and Ginny for being patient and making my story better.

Stephenie owns it all.

**Protective- EPOV**

"Good night, Dr. Cullen," Jessica Stanley purred as I passed the nurses' station. Unwanted goose bumps traveled down my arms at the sound of her voice, and not in a good way. Jessica and I dated in high school and I regretted that choice every day since it ended. It always baffled me that she called me Dr. Cullen when we'd known each other since kindergarten.

"Uh, yeah, good night, Jessica," I said over my shoulder and threw her a wave as I kept walking. I hit the elevator button a few times trying to escape before she tried to talk to me anymore.

I almost sighed out loud when the doors dinged open. I jumped in and pressed the main level button and the doors started to close. I heard someone yell for me to hold the door. I stuck my arm in between the closing door automatically and as soon as I saw who it was, I wished I hadn't.

_I hate Jacob Black, and his smug face._

Stepping back into the corner of the elevator, I leaned up against the wall and crossed my arms over my chest. Jacob walked in staring right at me the whole time.

"Cullen," he sneered and gave me a curt nod.

"Black," I returned his "friendly" greeting.

We rode in silence down and exited into the lobby. Both of us headed towards the parking lot. I was sure the whole room could feel the awkward tension that surrounded us. Once we were outside, the cool night air was a relief to my heated flesh. Jake walked in the opposite direction.

"Cullen," he called out. I turned around twirling my keys in my hands. "Just so you know I am dating Tanya again. But, if you hurt Bella the way you did Tanya, I'll mess you up."

As much as I wanted to fight with this guy, I couldn't. "If I ever hurt Bella, I hope you would." Jake's face faltered, before he could respond I turned and hurried toward my car.

I stopped at Pacific Pizza and grabbed a pizza and some Cokes for a quick dinner at Emmett's desk, before he and I went to play some basketball.

I walked into the microscopic police station, that Emmett was now the Chief of, since Charlie's heart attack. It was fairly quiet except for the sound of a keyboard being tapped on and the voices over the police radio. As I rounded the corner, I saw Emmett sitting at his desk typing as fast as he could.

"Seriously big brother, you need to take a typing class," I said shaking my head at his pitiful attempt to type a report using his two pointer fingers.

"Shut up, I'm getting much faster. Please tell me that pizza box is full and for me."

"It is full, and it is for us, to _share_. You only get half Emmett. I mean it; I always get sick when I eat with you because I have to shovel my food to make sure I get some before you eat it all."

"All right, all right, quit crying like a little girl and get the pizza over here."

I dropped the pizza and Cokes and Emmett began to devour his food.

"You ready to school Yorkie and Newton in some b-ball?" He asked with his mouth full of food. I nodded my head, taking a swig of Coke. "You would think after two years these two would have enough dignity to quit setting themselves up for humiliation. Have they ever come close to beating us?"

"Nope," I answered.

"Hey, the girls have a ballet recital next week. Are you coming?"

I nodded my head vigorously, "Of course, I wouldn't miss it. Is it all right if I bring Bella with me?"

Emmett just chuckled from his seat. "Oh good, I didn't have to bring it up." Emmett rubbed his hands together and leaned over his desk with an evil smirk. "So, you made out with Bella in front of my daughter, huh?"

I gave Emmett an exaggerated eye roll.

"Don't worry, little brother, I won't tell anyone. How was it?" He looked like the Cheshire cat. He was practically bouncing in his seat.

"Grow up, Emmett."

"No way, you may have corrupted my daughter, so you owe me."

"It was amazing! Are you happy? She is the most amazing woman I've ever known. Her kiss was one that could go down in the books. I'm completely in love with her and I have no idea if she even loves me back. Is that enough for you?"

Emmett let out a roar of laughter and threw himself back into his chair. My eyebrows scrunched together as I glared at him across the desk. After several minutes, he noticed my annoyance, and finally got himself under control.

"I'm sorry, Edward. But look at yourself acting all dark and tortured. I told you from the day you acknowledged your feelings for her, that she was going to be the death of you, and I can already see you're withering away." He was back to his laughing again, and I felt like jumping across the desk and smacking the dimples off of his amused looking face.

_Ring, Ring, Ring_

Emmett took a deep breath to get his laughter under control and then picked up the phone. "Forks-Police Department." I never understood why his voice turned baritone when he answered the phone at work.

Emmett's face sobered up in a flash, and he sat up straight in his chair. "Yes, this is Emmett. Who is this?" Emmett's eyes narrowed, he was obviously concerned about this phone call.

"Bella, is that you?"

My head snapped up at the sound of Emmett's voice laced with concern. Emmett continued to stare at his desktop with brows furrowed. He couldn't be talking to _my_ Bella. She was in a meeting, in Port Angeles. Emmett's concern and worry wasn't over _my Bella,_ I tried to reassure myself. Besides, why would Bella ever call Emmett if she was upset, of course she would call Charlie, Alice, or me… right?

"Bella, you need to calm down. I can't understand you. Take a deep breath and tell me what happened from the beginning."

I scooted all the way to the edge of my chair practically lying across the desk forcing my face into Emmett's gaze and mouthed out to him, "Is that _my_ Bella?"

Emmett nodded yes and used the palm of his hand to shove my face away from him. Emmett rested his elbows onto his desk and dropped his forehead down into the palm of his hand. He seemed… worried.

The seconds that Emmett sat silent listening to Bella felt like hours. My stomach was in knots, my head was starting to pound, and my body was going rigid. I was in turmoil knowing that Bella was upset and all I could do was sit here waiting on Emmett. I was immediately on my feet, pacing back and forth across the office, dragging my fingers through my hair over and over again.

"Bella, who are you with now?" It was strange to hear the authority in Emmett's voice. He had always just been my goof of a brother. Now I was watching him as the protector of the woman I love. More than anything, I wished I could be Emmett right now.

"Okay, I want you to stay on the line with me until Charlie get's there. Does he know what's going on with this guy?"

My pacing came to a halt when it became very clear to me why Bella had called Emmett; this was about the man stalking her. I felt my body temperature rise ten degrees, easily. My hands were trembling, and I couldn't keep them out of my hair. I headed towards the door of Emmett's office pulling my keys from my pocket. I could be to Port Angeles with Bella in thirty minutes if I drove fast enough.

I grasped the doorknob, when I heard Emmett snap his fingers. I spun around to Emmett with a look of annoyance on my face. Emmett gave me an authoritative look and shook his head at me, then pointed at the chair in front of him, commanding me to sit down. Maybe this was a misunderstanding, maybe she had a flat tire, or she ran out of gas, or her purse was stolen? Yes, that could be it. I desperately tried to convince myself that those were the reasons she was calling. I couldn't bear the thought of Bella being in real danger.

I was pulled from my thoughts as Emmett began to speak again, "He's there? Okay, I want you to come straight here. You need to tell Charlie what's going on." Emmett stood from the desk still holding onto the phone. "He'll be fine Bella, this is what he does. Come directly to the station, I'll be here waiting."

Before Emmett had even set the phone down, I was within a foot of him. I yelled out in panic, "What's going on? Is Bella okay? Did someone hurt her? Where is she?"

Emmett grabbed onto my shoulders. "You need to calm down, Edward. Bella's fine, Charlie is bringing her here now. I'm handling this." Emmett started to make his way around me, when I grabbed him by his shirt.

"Don't pull any confidential crap with me. This is Bella, _my Bella. _ You need to tell me what the hell is going on, NOW!" Emmett's eyes doubled in size, my sudden outburst was out of character for me.

Emmett slowly reached up and removed my hands from his shirt. "She thinks she knows who is stalking her. She was in Port Angeles with a client, James something, and he said some uncomfortable things to her and then drove away in the same SUV she said has been driving by her during her runs." He annunciated each word slowly as if taking to a child.

I pulled my keys from my pocket again. "Well, let's go and get the bastard."

Emmett sat back down into his chair. "You know it's not that simple, Edward. There are procedures to follow and he's not even in my jurisdiction. Besides, Charlie and Bella are already on their way here."

"Did he touch her? Did he threaten her?" My voice was getting louder and scarier. I almost didn't recognize my own voice. I felt the rage threatening to spill over me.

"Edward," I looked up and met my brothers stare. "You need to calm down. Bella is very scared right now. She's going to need someone to make her feel safe and reassure her that she will be protected. If she sees you the way you are now, like some kind of monster, you'll only scare her more." I instantly felt remorse for letting my emotions get the better of me. This isn't who I am. This isn't how I handle things.

"I'm sorry… it's just… the thought of anyone harming her emotionally or physically makes me crazy." Running my hands through my hair again I looked up at my brother. "You can't let anything happen to her, Emmett."

Emmett walked around the desk and rested his hand on my shoulder. His eyes were sympathetic, and I could see the weight of the situation resting on him. "I know. I'll do what I can to take care of this psycho path and you do everything you can to take care of Bella." I nodded my head and shoved my hands into my pockets, feeling some relief. I knew Emmett loved Bella and he would be just as protective of her as I would. "Why don't you go outside and cool off, she'll be here in a little while."

"Thanks," I mumbled as I walked out of his office.

I walked through the police station not looking at anyone. I pushed the glass doors of the station open and let the crisp, winter wind blow across my face. I took several long breaths clearing my head and calming my body. I walked over and sat down on the frigid concrete steps. I dropped my elbows down on my knees, intertwining my fingers, and focused my eyes on the laces of my tennis shoes sticking out from under my jeans.

The thought of a hair on Bella's head being harmed by some crazy man, made my stomach lurch. I would do everything in my power to protect her from any pain. But, Emmett was right, right now I needed to focus on being there for Bella, and making her feel safe. We had been taking the smallest of baby steps towards her caring for me the way I cared for her, but I was sure she wasn't where I was yet. I hoped she was close enough that she would allow me to take care of her, let me comfort her, and keep her safe. The thought of keeping Bella safe, calmed my nerves.

Every fiber of my being, craved to stay with Bella this morning. The last thing I'd wanted to do was leave her and go to work. Bella was going to be in Port Angeles for her job today. Knowing I wouldn't have been able to stay with her today, even if I did skip out on work, was the only thing that helped me leave her.

I loved my running time with Bella. I had been kind of glad that she was forced to take me with her running. Bella and I not only shared this passion in our lives, but she challenged me to be better at it. The fact that this amazing woman keeps me on my toes physically and mentally aroused me.

My expression softened and I even started to smile remembering her losing control and screaming in the woods, it had been a moment I wished I'd had on tape. I'd had a moment of concern, but then more than anything I'd just wanted to laugh at her. IT took a lot of restraint to not burst into hysterics. She would've killed me, and I would've loved watching her kitten-like ferocity.

Bella still hadn't told me how she felt about me and I was becoming desperate to know how much of what I felt was returned. As a man, I usually had some pride and self-respect to not continually lay all my cards on the table without anything in return. But for some reason, I didn't care with Bella. I was prepared to tell her every day for the rest of her life how much I loved her, so why not start now? She was slowly becoming my life and I didn't even know if she felt the same. I knew that there was an attraction and on some level she cared about me, but I wasn't sure if she actually loved me. Selfishly, after I told her all that I loved about her, up against that tree in the woods, I made her close the last distance between us. Not so I could say she kissed me, but so I knew it was her choice, and that she wanted to kiss me the way I wanted to kiss her.

I shuddered as the cold started to seep through my shirt. It was almost Thanksgiving and I could feel that winter was trying to make its debut a little early. I forced myself up from the steps, to retrieve my jacket from my car. I unlocked the door and leaned into the backseat, when I heard my phone chirping.

_Crap! _I didn't even realize I had left it in here_._

Reaching up into the console, I pulled out my cell phone and checked my missed calls. They were all from Alice; she is a persistent little midget. I threw on my jacket and returned to my perch on the steps. I decided to call Alice back to help pass the time while I waited for Bella.

Of course she picked up on the first ring. "What the hell, Edward. Why haven't you been answering your phone? It could've been an emergency."

"What's up, Pip-squeak?" I decided against telling her what was going on with Bella right now. The last thing Bella would need was a panicking Alice around, when she got here. I would call and tell her after everything was resolved and Bella was settled. "I'm hanging with Emmett, we are going to go and play some basketball in a little while, I'm sorry."

"Oh, okay. So how's it going?" She was trying to sound casual and not doing a very good job of it.

"What do you want?"

"What do you mean?" she asked trying to sound offended. "Is it so unusual that I would want to talk to my brother? Especially, since he has decided he no longer needs to call his wonderful little sister, because he's in love with her best friend."

"I'm sorry Alice. Things have been… busy."

"Edward," she started sweetly.

"Here it comes," I said shaking my head and letting a smile spread across my face.

"Did you really tell my best friend, that Tanya told you, that you were in love with her?" she asked exasperatedly.

That was not what I was expecting. I scrunched up my face and sucked in a breath through gritted teeth. "That might have slipped through my unfiltered mouth," I mumbled.

Alice's loud gasp sounded through the phone. "If I were there I would smack you upside the head. You idiot! What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry, it's not like I wanted to hurt her."

"Well, you did."

My chest constricted at the thought of Bella being hurt because of me. I hated the fact that I had caused her any pain, let alone that I had unknowingly done it throughout her whole life. "Alice, was I horrible to Bella when we were growing up?"

"You were a typical older brother figure. But since she didn't have to love you like I did, it probably bugged her like a hundred times worse than me. She also probably took it more personal. So, yeah it probably seemed like you were just being horrible to her. And the banter between the two of you, I could never figure out if you guys were really fighting or if it was some kind of foreplay." I almost choked on my piece of gum.

"What?!" I practically screamed at her.

"Nothing, are you going to tell me about making out with my best friend in front of our niece?"

Was anyone in my family going to let me live that down? "No, did Bella tell you anything about it?" I felt like I was fifteen years old. I was on the edge of the step bouncing my knee, with an almost giddy look on my face.

"She may have said something to me, but a best friend never reveals her friend's secrets."

My heart rate accelerated, and a thrill shot through me knowing that Bella talked to my sister about me. "Oh, Alice," I said running my fingers through my hair and letting out a small growl. "I am so consumed by this woman. I have to have her. You know, she asked me a question the other day and I felt like she ripped it from my own head. "Why didn't you love me before?" I don't know the answer, but I wondered the same thing. How was I so blind all of these years?"

"It doesn't matter, Edward." Alice's voice had become dramatically gentler. "You can't change the past, so just make sure you don't screw up _now_."

"Thanks a lot. So, you aren't going to tell me anything? Will you at least tell me if she feels the same way I do?" I was so pathetic, I was practically begging her.

"Well, she did tell me how she feels about you while we were writing notes back and forth during math class, but she made my cross my heart and promise not to tell." I could hear her grinning through the phone.

I rolled my eyes. "A simple 'no' would have sufficed," I snapped.

Alice's perky laugh carried through the phone and I heard my own laugh escaping my lips, when I was startled by headlights flashing across the front of the wood shingled building behind me, the light began to intensify as the car pulled into the parking lot directly in front of me. I lifted my hand blocking the light from my eyes. As soon as I raised my hand up the driver flicked off the headlights. Once my eyes had adjusted I realized it was Charlie's orange pick-up truck. _Bella!_

"Alice, I've got to go. I'll call you later."

"Fine, have fun playing basketball."

I was on my feet and jogging to the passenger side of the car. I pulled her door open and Bella stepped out of the car. I desperately wanted to pull her into my arms. She exited the car at a snail's pace.

As she stood looking into my face confusion came over her. "What are you doing here?"

My hand twitched at my side, wanting to reach out and grab onto hers. "I was meeting Emmett here to play basketball when you called. I stayed to make sure you were okay." My hand started to reach for her, but I had to gauge her reaction to see if this was what she wanted.

Her eyes drifted towards my moving hand and then continued down staring at the asphalt. "I'm fine," she muttered.

My heart felt like it had been crushed and my hand fell back at my side. _She didn't want me; I wasn't a comfort to her._

I heard Charlie's car door close and I looked up to see him staring at me. Charlie looked at me with gratitude in his eyes, and I'm sure he saw his own expression mirrored back in my eyes. After I had gotten home from running this morning I'd gotten a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach about Bella going to Port Angeles. So I'd called Charlie.

"_Hello?" A sleepy Charlie answered the phone._

"_Charlie, it's Edward Cullen. I'm sorry to wake you, but I needed to ask you something." I still felt nervous when I had to talk to Bella's Father. I'm an adult, I should be able to talk to him man to man._

"_No, I was up. I just hadn't had my coffee yet. What can I do for you?"_

"_Bella is driving up to Port Angeles today for a meeting, and I'm not really comfortable with her going up there alone with everything that has been happening. Do you have anything going on today?"_

"_No, of course I'll go with her. I feel terrible that you had to ask me to do this. I should have known."_

"_Don't worry about it, Charlie. She probably kept it from you intentionally. You know how stubborn and independent she is." I couldn't help the grin that took over my face as I thought of my little furious kitten. Well, I hoped she was mine._

"_Did you tell her you were calling me?"_

"_Of course not, do you think I have a death wish?" Charlie and I both chuckled, I'm sure because we were both picturing Bella's reaction if she knew of the conversation we were having behind her back._

"_Well, I'll take care of it. I needed to go up to Port Angeles for some shopping anyways. She'll never know we had this little chat."_

"_Thank you, Sir."_

"_Edward," Charlie spoke in a more serious tone. "Be patient with her. And, be careful with her, or I might have to kill you." Charlie's voice made a chill run down my spine. My jaw hung open and I was scared._

"_Yes, Sir, I will," I barely stammered out._

Charlie's threat had terrified me but just before he hung up, I could hear him laughing on the other end of the phone. Relief had flooded me, and I'd let out the breath I'd been scared to let go of.

I was so grateful he had been there with her today. I was broken from my thoughts when I heard Charlie talking to Bella.

"I'll be inside, Bella," his retreating figure voiced over his shoulder.

Still staring at the ground, her voice cracked out, "Kay."

My mind was telling me I should leave because she didn't want me here, but my soul needed to hold her to reassure myself that she was safe. My foot felt like concrete as I forced it to take a step back.

Bella's head lifted at the sound of my shoe dragging along the blacktop. "Where are you going?" she whispered.

"I'm sure you have things to take care of with Emmett. Now that I know you're safe, I should probably go," I said pointing over my shoulder with my thumb and forcing another step backward.

When I allowed myself to look back up at Bella, I saw her eyes were filled with tears. As one tiny tear escaped her eye, it felt like my gut was being ripped open. Without thought, I reached up to wipe the tear from her sad face. Before I made contact with her pale skin, I noticed she was staring at the ground again. My thumb grazed her cheekbone and my skin absorbed her tear. In the same moment I made contact with her cheek, her hand was covering mine. The electric current that coursed through me as she grabbed onto my hand caused my heart to leap. I felt Bella tremble under my hand and I knew she was crying.

"Oh, baby," I rasped out as I pulled her into my arms. I felt like I couldn't hold her close enough to me. I wanted to pull her so close that we became one, so that nobody could touch her.

Bella's body shook gently against me, and I could feel her sobs against my chest. My hand that lay around her waist pulled her even closer into me, and my other hand began stroking her hair. "Shhh, shhh," I cooed into the top of her head.

She didn't respond. I only felt her hands grasping and pulling onto my shirt against my back and shoulders.

"Bella, I won't let anything happen to you. I feel… I feel very… protective of you, and I hope that you'll let me be there to help protect you."

Bella froze in my arms and it felt like she wasn't even breathing. I started to panic that I had crossed a line. She'd already dealt with one obsessive man tonight; I hoped I hadn't become the second. We both stood motionless for several seconds.

I felt Bella's breath escape onto my chest causing me to shiver as her cold air blew onto my tear drenched shirt. "Don't let go," she whispered and reached her arms up around my neck.

My breath hitched and wide grin spread across my face. I leaned my face down into her hair inhaling her scent, and promised her, "Never." I wrapped both hands around her waist and pulled her against me, her feet lifting slightly off of the ground. "Let's get you inside, it's freezing out here." I dropped her feet back to the ground and loosened my hold around her waist.

Bella pulled away and looked me in the eyes. "Thank you." I nodded and began to wipe more tears from her face; she gave me a sweet smile that made my heart soar. "Will you stay while I talk to Emmett?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

Bella slid her hand into mine and I squeezed her tiny palm in return. We walked up the steps and I held the glass door open for her. As we rounded the corner in front of Emmett's office, I released my hold on her hand.

I could feel Bella turn to look up at me. Her face was confused and hurt and I didn't understand why. She looked down where our hands had been united. I glanced down and saw her hand still extended and then looked back up into her questioning eyes.

_Did she want to still hold my hand in front of Charlie and Emmett?_

Bella reached over and slid her hand back into mine where it was still warm from being connected moments ago. She never took her eyes off of mine.

Lacing my fingers with hers, I gave her a questioning look. "I'm sorry. I thought you wouldn't want Charlie or Emmett to see."

"I think they're onto us." She winked and started to walk towards the office. "In fact, I think they knew before we did." _Did she just say we?_

As we walked into the office, Emmett gave Bella a sympathetic look and then looked at me with a questioning look. I am sure he was wondering, why in a time like this I would have a huge grin plastered on my face. Before I could respond, he spotted our connected hands and tried to contain his own smile.

Emmett sat down in a chair next to his desk and invited Charlie to sit at his desk. Emmett had the utmost respect for Charlie. He'd told me once he felt guilty taking a position that he knew Charlie didn't give up by choice. Bella and I sat down in the two chairs in front of Emmett's cluttered, metal desk.

"Well, Chief what's going on?" Charlie asked Emmett. Emmett looked like he could barely stay in his seat he was so excited that Charlie had called _him _Chief.

Emmett fought to get control of his smirk and cleared his throat. He turned in his seat so he was facing Bella. Once his face met Bella's, he immediately looked remorseful. "Bella, I really don't have any good news for you right now. Because James lives in a different county, I can't go and talk to him. Also, because we don't actually have any proof that his vehicle is in fact the same one that has been following you, the Seattle Police Department can't do anything either. My best advice for you is first, I need you to give me a detailed account of everything that has occurred with James, so we have a full report. It will help the case when we have reports from you as they occurred so we can prove that he was harassing you. Then, call your boss tomorrow and explain the situation so that you no longer have to work with this man. And, for now, Bella, you just need to keep yourself safe and be cautious. If you ever see that car again, it would really help if we had a license plate number—"

I couldn't contain the anger that was fueling inside of me any longer. "Are you kidding me, Emmett? That's the best you can do for her, tell her to be cautious." I practically screamed. "What about a restraining order?"

Charlie interjected this time. "Calm down, Edward. Emmett is right; legally we can't do anything yet."

"Screw what's legal, I'll go and get this man myself and scare some sense into him." I felt Bella's hand come to a rest on my thigh and I instantly relaxed under her touch.

Emmett glared at me and then looked back at Bella. "We can't file a restraining order because according to Washington law, a person has to be seriously intimidated, annoyed, or harassed. You have to prove that his conduct was such that it would cause you to suffer serious emotional distress, and that his conduct was intentional. The order is typically filed in district court. Once we have proof that it was him stalking you then you would definitely be approved for a temporary restraining order." Emmett's eyes were sympathetic, and I could tell he felt horrible that he couldn't do more for Bella at this point, but it didn't make me feel any better.

"I just want to go home," Bella mumbled.

Charlie jumped into the conversation trying to comfort his daughter. "I know, kid, but we really need you to give us a statement first. Can you do that? Then I promise I'll take you home."

"Sure," she mumbled.

Charlie, Emmett, and I sat silently while Bella recounted her last two meetings with James and every situation with the black SUV. James sounded like a creepy and persistent man. It was definitely obvious that he wanted Bella. When she told us about his last remarks to her in the restaurant parking lot, I felt that anger flood back through my body. Just the thought of him following her, watching her, and preying on her was enough for me to want to hunt him down and spill his blood.

Once she was done, she looked over at Emmett and asked, "Can I go now?"

Emmett nodded at Bella, and turned towards Charlie. "I was hoping that you could give me some assistance on we can resolve this quickly."

Both men looked over towards Bella. She looked so submissive when she answered, "It's fine, I'll wait in the reception area."

"No, it's not fine," I said resting my hand on hers that still lay on my thigh. I looked over to Charlie. "I'll take her to my place, she can get some rest and you can come and get her when you have this taken care of." I checked Bella's expression to make sure she was all right with this plan. She dropped her eyes down to our hands and nodded her head.

I looked back to Charlie waiting for his response. "Sure, Edward, that is very uh… kind of you. I'll give you a call when I am heading out of here."

I gave him a quick nod and then glared at Emmett. "You need to take care of this, or I will." I wasn't threatening Emmett, I was simply letting him know I wasn't going to sit back and wait for the law to decid this James guy had terrorized Bella enough. Emmett just nodded in return. I knew that if he weren't the chief of police he would be making the same promise.

Looking over at Bella's sad and tired eyes, my heart ached. I just wanted to get her home and safe with me. I tugged on her hand as I stood up from my chair, and she rose with me.

Bella hesitated at the door and turned towards her dad and Emmett. "Thank you, for all of your help."

"Anything for you, kid." Charlie winked and Bella smiled.

Suddenly, Bella seemed so fragile. She had always been such a strong and invincible woman to me, but as I guided her through the door, held onto her as we descended the stairs, and helped her into my car, I felt like she could burst into a million pieces and disappear.

The drive to my house was silent. I didn't want to make her talk about anything she wasn't ready for, but my insides were dying to know what she was thinking. She just stared out the passenger window the whole way to my house. When I pulled into my garage, I noticed she hadn't moved. I saw the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest and realized she'd fallen asleep. Carefully, I unhooked her seatbelt, then got out of the car and hurried over to open her door. Gently, I slid my hands under her legs and behind her back and lifted her from the car. She didn't stir as I cradled her against my chest. I carried her straight to the guest room but stopped in the doorway when I saw the sheets thrown on the bed. I swore under my breath, realizing I hadn't made the bed after Emmett had stayed at my house. I turned and continued down the hall to my bedroom. I walked straight towards my bed and gently laid her on my white sheets. She rolled over facing the other direction and curled herself into the fetal position. Carefully, I reached down and pulled off her heels. I grabbed my charcoal colored duvet from the bottom of the bed and laid it over her tiny frame. I stood for several minutes watching Bella in my bed. Her brown wavy hair splayed across my pillow, the tiny little bump she made under the comforter as she nestled into the blankets, and her perfect face glowing from the moonlight that cascaded in through the French doors. I longed to keep her there with me forever. Desperately, I wanted to climb into that bed and hold her in my arms, but I could never do that without her asking me to. I grabbed my book off of my nightstand and walked over to the far corner of my room. I flipped on the gas fireplace hoping it would give me enough reading light so I wouldn't have to turn on a lamp or leave the room. I pushed my leather chair closer to the firelight and sank down into it. I watched Bella stir for a moment and once I knew she was asleep, I started reading my book.

I wasn't sure when, but at some point I'd fallen asleep with book in hand. My cell phone vibrating in my pocket awakened me. I quickly jumped up from my seat pulling the phone from my pocket and exiting the bedroom. Once I was down the hall I flipped the phone open and rasped out, "Hello?"

"Edward, it's Charlie, sorry that took a while but I am going to head over and get Bella now."

"Actually, she's sound asleep. You could leave her here if you want and I could drop her off tomorrow morning on my way to the hospital."

Charlie hesitated; I'm sure wondering if it was appropriate.

I jumped in to ease his mind. "I'll sleep in the guest room."

"Oh, okay. Thanks again, Edward, for taking care of her."

"It's my pleasure."

"Good night," Charlie muttered then hung up.

I snuck back into my bedroom flipped off the fireplace. I grabbed some pajama bottoms and headed into my bathroom. I quietly rushed through my nightly routine and then shut off the light before exiting the bathroom so I wouldn't wake Bella. I hurried out the door and then did an about face when I realized the guest room didn't have a clock. As I stepped around the foot of the bed towards my nightstand to grab my clock, I saw a shadow standing right in front of me.

In an automatic reaction my body jumped backwards. "Bella, you scared me half to death. I thought you were asleep."

"I'm sorry. I woke up and I didn't know where I was, you kind of scared me when you came out of the bathroom. I was just going to come and find you."

"Are you okay?" I asked taking a step towards her.

"I'm fine. I really need to go to the bathroom. Were you going to bed?"

"Yeah, it's getting late and I have to work tomorrow. I can take you home if you don't want to stay here. Charlie called while you were sleeping and I said you could stay here tonight, if you wanted."

"I'll stay here, it's easier. Do you have something else I could change into?" She asked, glancing down at her work clothes.

"Of course." I went to my closet and flipped on the light. I dug through my drawers trying to find something small enough for her to wear.

"So, this is your room?" she asked.

"Yup," I answered as I pulled out my old high school track shirt.

"Oh… well… I… I can sleep on the couch or something."

"No, it's fine. I'll sleep in the guest room." I said as I pulled out my smallest pair of flannel pants. I hurried out of the closet and saw Bella leaning against my tall cherry wood bedpost. She took my breath away. A small groan escaped my chest. "Here are some clothes, there is a towel and wash cloth on the counter in the bathroom and there is some toothpaste in the top drawer if you want. I'm sorry I don't have an extra toothbrush."

Bella just gave me a bashful smile and took the clothes from my hand and disappeared behind the bathroom door. An even louder groan escaped my mouth this time as I forced myself to leave the bedroom. I made up the guest bed and settled down into the freezing sheets and tried to go to sleep.

Sleep, was not going to happen. All I could think about was Bella asleep in my bed and wearing my clothes. The affection Bella had shown me tonight had sent me soaring. The fact that she didn't care that our family members would see and that she wanted me there with her gave me the reassurance of her feelings that I desperately needed. My mind started drifting towards thoughts of what it would be like when Bella was mine, and I felt like the biggest dork when my cheeks started to hurt from smiling.

_Tap, tap, tap._

My heart skipped a beat, knowing Bella was on the other side of that door.

"Come in," I tried to sound casual, but my insides were doing a dance.

Her head peeked in just a little. "Were you asleep?"

"No." I sat up in my bed.

"Um, I hate admitting this to you."

"What?" I flipped on the lamp next to the bed. I sucked in a breath at how adorable she looked in my clothes, with her tiny bare feet sticking out from underneath my giant pants. She was playing with the hem of the t-shirt and crossed her ankles over each other as she leaned against the doorframe.

She finally looked up at me, her eyes quickly darting to my exposed bare chest before returning to my face. It didn't escape my attention the blush that followed her glance. The corner of my mouth crept up, pleased that she liked what she saw.

"With everything that happened earlier, and since I've never been in your house… well… I'm kind of scared." In that moment, I swear she was the cutest female to walk the face of the earth. I wasn't sure what she wanted me to do? I didn't have a night-light. "Do you think… well… would it be okay… ugh… would you come and sleep in your room with me?"

She looked up hesitantly and a smile came over her face as she saw the elation in my face. "Of course I will. If that's what you want."

She smiled shyly at me and then nodded her head, all the while still playing with the hem of the shirt.

I got out of bed and followed her back into my room. She got back into bed and I followed her lead on the opposite side of the bed. I was so nervous, and that was ridiculous. We had slept in the same bed before and I was a grown man. Sleeping in bed with a woman should not be a big deal. But, for some reason it was. My bed was king sized and it never felt that big to me, but the space between Bella and me felt like there could be ten people between us. We both laid silently in the dark, and I was desperate to know her thoughts.

"Bella."

"Yeah?" she asked rolling over so she was now facing me.

"Thank you, for letting me be there with you today."

She was quiet for a moment. "I needed you today. There haven't been many times in my life when I've needed anyone. But today, when I figured everything out, you were the person I wanted. And that kind of scares me."

"Don't be. I need you, too. Bella, it was horrible for me today knowing you were scared and there was nothing I could do. I never want to feel that helpless again. You're everything to me now and –" I stopped abruptly when I felt her slide across the bed and into my arms. I wrapped my arms around her and pressed her against my chest. "I love you, Bella."

I lazily dragged my hand up and down her bare arm that rested across my chest, totally content, even with the silence.

"Edward," she whispered, her breath caressing my collar bone.

"Yeah?" I stilled my hand.

"I love you, too." She had to feel the jack hammer speed my heart rate had accelerated to. I just smiled the cheesiest smile you could imagine as I stared up at the ceiling. "I always have you know, since we were kids."

_What!?_

**Author Notes:**

Thank you to everyone who reviews. The weirdest thing is happening. More and more people are listing this story as their favorite and getting it alerted, but there are getting to be less and less reviews. That is so weird don't you think ;) Make my day and leave me a review please.

Come play on the thread, the link is on my profile. Thank you again for reading.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Notes:**

As always, Gernellers, you are the best beta and IBFF ever.

I have to give a huge shout out to Pears for sharing her talent and becoming my new beta. I also have to thank her for recommending my story over at The Fan. I know that most of my reviews and alerts this last week were because of you. Thank you so much. If any of you have not read any of Pears work, it is a must, go check out Shadows and The Fan.

Steph owns it, but I might give up my first born to say it was mine ;)

**Laying It On The Table**

_What!?_

My body lay frozen, staring up at the ceiling, unable to speak as I tried to process what Bella just said to me. _I love you, too. I always have you know, since we were kids._ The seconds ticked by as I continued to be stunned into silence. I did not see that coming at all. I wondered if I heard her right, there was no way she could have loved me that long, I would've known. _Wouldn't I?_

I was snapped from my thoughts as I felt Bella's tiny body start to pull away from me.

"No," I pleaded, pulling her back into my arms. "Don't… don't run away from me."

The silence took over again, and the tension in the air was so thick you could taste it. Bella buried her face into my chest, avoiding my eyes.

Barely above a whisper, I rasped out, "Did you just say you've loved me since we were kids?"

"No," she answered defiantly into my bare chest, which was on fire from the contact of Bella's body being pressed up against it. The corner of my mouth rose knowing that she was lying to me. She was such a stubborn, beautiful woman.

"So, you don't love me?" There was no way I was going to let her not tell me how she felt again.

"No… I mean… yes… I mean..." I could hear how flustered she was and it made me chuckle. Of course, my laughing only made her more flustered.

"Ouch," I yelped as she pinched me on my bare waist.

In one motion, I enveloped her in both arms and rolled her over onto her back as I hovered over her, being careful not to let all of my weight press down on her perfect body. Holding her this way forced her to look into my face.

"That's better, now I can look at you." My fingers reached up and gently pushed her hair away from her face, my eyes never leaving hers. I could feel her breathing hitch. "Bella, do you love me?" I asked huskily annunciating each word, my eyes pleading.

Bella's big brown eyes bore into mine never wavering and I was lost in them. I knew the answer without her answering me; nobody had ever looked at me the way Bella was looking at me now. My heart swelled with so much love for this woman; I thought my ribs might crack open. Ever so slowly she nodded her head yes, and I was undone. She loved me! This was really happening; Bella was going to be mine. I could hardly control my elation and desires that were burning through my body. I was craving Bella in every way possible, more than any woman I had ever known.

My body dropped down closer to Bella, still holding most of my weight on my elbows, but my hands were now embracing her blushing face. Both of us just lay there staring back into each other's questioning faces.

My eyes changed their focus to Bella's full, pink lips just as her tongue darted out to lick them. I knew I had to kiss her, but I was scared this kiss needed to be the best she had ever had. This would be our first kiss since she admitted that she loved me. Thinking back to what our previous kisses had done to me, I thought of the way she sent a shock through me with her contact, the desire that would stir within me, the passion in our connection, and, most of all, the way I never wanted to stop. It was a glimpse of how consuming this kiss would be now that we both knew that we loved each other, and I hoped I could live up to her expectations.

Bella's hand reached up into my hair at the nape of my neck, sending chills down my spine. She gave the slightest tug toward her and all thoughts and fears were gone. Quicker than I would have liked, my face descended toward Bella's. As soon as our lips made contact, I felt it. The current that had passed through before was a speck of what it was now. Our lips moved together in perfect sync. Her fingers knotted in my hair and I deepened the kiss. Bella's hands moved down to my shoulder blades pulling me toward her, and I smiled against her lips, lowering my body down onto hers.

"Stop it," she mumbled against my mouth.

My smile only widened as I kissed her fervently. "Stop what?" I asked as my lips traveled toward her neck.

A soft moan escaped her lips as I nipped at her collar bone. "Stop, being so proud of yourself," she answered breathlessly.

"And why shouldn't I be?" My lips continued to brush across her soft neck. "The girl of my dreams loves me." Finding my way back to her lips, I began to kiss her without reserve and she delivered that same passion in return. This kiss was beyond physical. I felt as if we were having a silent conversation with each other. We translated all the feelings we both had finally come to accept. It felt as if this were a ceremony, a claiming ritual, both of us claiming what we wanted as our own. I wanted Bella to be mine – only mine – and I hoped that she understood that I would only belong to her always. A small moan escaped Bella's mouth and the physical side of me started to take over, pushing passed my emotional side. My kisses became desperate in my need for her, and no matter how I kissed her; I wasn't getting enough to fulfill my need.

When Bella's teeth gently bit into my lower lip, I couldn't prevent the satisfying groan that left my mouth. My hand traveled searchingly down the side of her rib cage, down her waist, and to the hem of my shirt that she wore. Bella's lips descended on my neck and my eyes rolled to the back of my head as she worked on the skin below my earlobe. Slipping my thumb under the edge of her t-shirt, I began rubbing the soft skin that stretched across her flat stomach. Bella tensed beneath me and I wondered what had startled her. Before I could figure it out, her hand found mine under her shirt, lacing our fingers together, raising our hands above her head, and then her body relaxed into mine again.

_What was that about?_

"What's wrong?" I asked, trying to catch my breath.

"Nothing, I just want to slow down a little." I looked at her just as a blush spread across her face and she stared down into the small space between us.

My brows furrowed together, showing my confusion. What had happened? I racked my brain, wondering what we had done too fast. There was an obvious tensing in the middle of that little make out session and I couldn't figure out why. Of course, I would respect anything she asked for. I rolled off Bella, keeping her wrapped in my arms. The two of us laid there working to get our embarrassing breathing under control.

"I'm sorry, we don't have to stop," she whispered against my shoulder causing me to shudder.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No… you… you did everything…right."

Squeezing her tighter, I let out a loud chuckle. Bella shoved against my side with both hands.

"Shut-up, it's not funny." I actually found her quite amusing. Why on earth would she ever want to stop if I was doing everything right? We were just getting started!

"I just want to take things slowly. I've waited a long time for this and I don't want to rush it. I don't want my body running away with me." We laid in comfortable silence, both of us thinking without the need to speak. Most women would need conversation, not my Bella. We were content just lying in each other's arms. As I replayed the evening in my mind, I still needed an answer from her.

"Bella?" She tilted her head up so she was looking at me. "Have you really loved me since we were kids?"

"Yeah, I didn't always know it, but yes."

"When did you know?"

"You really want me to feed your ego don't you? When did you know that you loved me?" she retorted. Ah, that's my girl. She doesn't give an inch.

"Well, do you remember the kiss we had at my parents in the hallway?"

"Of course."

"I don't know if you felt it, but as soon as my lips connected with yours, it was weird. I felt like –"

"Electricity flowed through your body?" Bella interrupted.

"Exactly!" I knew she had to have felt it too. My fingers started running through her hair. "I was with Tanya then, and I felt like a horrible person for cheating on her, feeling something that I'd never felt with her or any other woman before. I just did my best to push it out of my head and resolved to never do that to her again. That wasn't the only time either; when you grabbed my leg after our run, the whole trip in L.A., and at the gala. Oh, the gala, Bella, you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. That night I knew… I knew I had to have you. I felt raging jealousy watching you with Jacob all night, and then when I saw him kiss you –"

"You saw him kiss me?" Bella jumped in.

I let out a long, pained breath. "Yeah, and it crushed me." My mind thought back to that night and I felt anger stir deep inside my chest and my fists clenched on Bella's back. "Okay, stop stalling. Now, it's your turn."

"You're right about that day at your parent's house." I tried to think back to what I told her because all I remembered was that kiss. "When we were kids… that day on the trampoline, I felt rejected by you. I'd had a crush on you for so long, and I thought you were going to kiss me, and when you pushed me away I wanted to disappear and never see you again. So like every mature twelve year old, I ignored you and tried my best to convince myself that I hated you. It had worked up until a few weeks ago."

"So, you thought you hated me… but you loved me?" Wow, women could be so complicated, and Bella was one of the simpler women I knew. I couldn't imagine what Jasper and Emmett dealt with.

"I worked so hard to hate you that eventually it became easy. I think subconsciously, I always knew I really loved you, but I had to protect myself from you."

"Protect yourself from me?" I questioned. My face scrunched up wondering why she would need to protect herself from me.

"If, I'm in love with someone and all he dates are girls that are the polar opposite of me, then I would need to protect my heart. Because let's face it, you and I both know I'm not the type to fight for my unrequited love. Nope, instead I buried it deep inside and spent my time trying to prove that I could not be fazed by you, and maybe even succeed in more areas also."

"Humph," I snorted. "You mean _try_ to be better than me." My smile spread quickly knowing she was probably glaring at me.

"I did have more track records than you and I think I ended up having a slightly higher GPA than you too. So, I think I was pretty successful with my strategy."

I had to clear my throat, before responding so she wouldn't hear the laughter about to erupt inside me. "Well, you had more track records because you're a girl, not because you were better than me, and you may have had a higher GPA but I had higher SAT scores."

A little growl escaped her chest and I started to laugh. Bella was immediately pushing off my side, trying to get away from me. Grabbing onto her, I pulled her closer as she playfully struggled against me. I couldn't help the words that came out next. "It appears I'm stronger than you too."

"I hate you," she murmured.

"No, you don't. Alice was right… this… this banter between us… it's our foreplay."

"What?!" she gasped.

"It's true, Bella. Since I've accepted my feelings for you, I've noticed I'm just as turned on when you're racing me or putting me in my place, as I was while watching you in that extremely sexy bikini in my parents' hot tub." The image of Bella in that bikini caused my hormones to surpass my mind in control.

Wrapping my arms around her waist, I slid her body up the sheets so her face was level with my own. I was sure the lust in my eyes was evident to her as she bit into her lip. "Do you have any idea what that does to me?" Her teeth immediately released her lip and she blushed, shaking her head.

"Bella, there are so many things you do that cause my body to call for you, and that is one of them." It felt like slow motion as I slowly pressed my lips to hers and kissed Bella the way she deserved to be kissed – like she was worshipped, not just wanted. Then, sooner than I wished, I pulled away and gave her one more, chaste kiss.

Suddenly, another question entered my mind. "So, if you always tried to hate me, when did you realize and accept that you were in love with me?"

"I knew after the trip to L.A."

I nodded my head in agreement. "That was one of the best times I've ever had with anyone. That was when I felt the real battle begin, between what I wanted and what I thought was right. That morning in the hotel room, I felt a loss when I woke up and you weren't there with me. I'd never felt that way with Tanya."

"Edward, why didn't you just break up with her?"

"I didn't want to hurt Tanya, I loved her. But then you came and things happened that I thought couldn't happen. Like electricity when we kissed, aching when you're away, being turned on when you're yelling at me, and needing – not just wanting – someone. I tried to do the right thing, but ended up making it worse for everyone."

Bella nodded against my chest. "Have you talked to her since?" she barely whispered.

"No, but, I did see Jacob earlier today and he informed me that he and Tanya are back together. Oh, and he threatened to kill me if I ever hurt you. I really can't stand that guy."

"Why? He's a really good person, Edward."

"Bella?"

"Hmmm."

"If you knew you loved me after L.A., why did you kiss Jacob at the gala?" I asked hesitantly, regretting it the moment it escaped my unfiltered mouth.

"What do you think I should have done, Edward? Should I have sat around every night praying to the gods that one day you would end your relationship with your perfect girlfriend and decide that plain Bella Swan, that you had known your whole life, would make your dreams come true?" She was fuming. I was barely able to understand her as she threw out those sentences like one long word.

"Wow, a little defensive? I was just trying to understand."

Bella pushed off the bed and sat up next to me, crossing her legs, with her right knee resting on my stomach. She ran her fingers through her hair and let out a long breath. Pulling one of my hands out from behind my head, I began rubbing her knee, trying to calm her down.

"Edward, you need to understand. My whole life you were unattainable. Never did I think we would be here," she said waving her hand back and forth between the two of us. "I was trying to move on with my life. Jacob is an attractive, funny, kind –"

"I get it, move on," I interrupted feeling raging jealousy. I didn't like that she still thought so highly of him or any other man. I guess it would be acceptable for her to think so of Charlie, though.

"Sorry," she said, dropping her hand down on top of mine. "I thought if I made an effort to date a man, then for once in my life, it would work out. But just like you, as much as I tried, I never felt toward him what I feel when I'm near you. I knew I was settling, but I also was tired of being alone and he really is a great guy."

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"For what?" she asked with a look of confusion across her beautiful face.

"Not treating you the way you deserved to be treated."

It was silent for a moment then Bella let out a gentle sigh.

"Let's quit dredging up the past, it's interrupting my bliss." She winked.

"Nah, I think we should talk some more about how much you wanted me and still want me."

"You arrogant little –"

But I interrupted her as I sat up and grabbed onto her face with both hands, covering her ranting mouth with mine. This kiss wasn't as reverent as our others had been. This kiss was pure lust and passion. She immediately mimicked my hands and held onto my face, kissing me back with just as much fervor. Kissing Bella was as close to heaven on earth as I could get. Running my hands down the length of her body, I grabbed onto her hips and, in one motion pulled her over to straddle my lap. Her hands slid from my face around the back of my neck, holding on as she slid up against my chest. The groan that escaped my mouth was embarrassingly loud, and I could feel the smile that came across hers. I opened my eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just had no idea I could have that kind of affect on a man."

A small chuckle escaped my mouth. "Bella, you have no idea what an affect you have on my body." Bella giggled and turned my favorite shade of red. Lying back, I pulled her over to my side. "We should probably get some sleep. I have a full day at the hospital, and I think you are going to have a lot to do with Emmett and also your chat with your boss tomorrow."

At the mention of dealing with all of the James garbage, Bella shivered in my arms. I tightened my hold on her, wishing I could keep her safe with me all of the time.

"Bella, you never have to worry about him. I'll keep you safe." She nodded into my shoulder, and I kissed the top of her hair, enjoying the smell of strawberries.

Moments later I felt her breathing fall into a regular rhythm and I knew she was asleep. Not long after, my body followed her lead.

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

I cursed the wretched machine that was forcing me to unwrap one of my arms from around Bella's tiny waist. I slammed the alarm clock three times before turning it off.

Rolling back over, I wrapped my arm around Bella and pressed myself against her back, relishing the feel of her in my arms and her smell that had become intoxicating to me. My grip on Bella tightened, my lips brushing lightly along her neck, just under her ear. Carefully, I tried to slide my arm out from under Bella's head, so I could go and take a shower.

"No, stay," Bella whined, clutching onto my arm.

Knowing that Bella wanted me to stay in bed with her, as much as I wanted to be there, caused me to feel like a child on Christmas morning. I couldn't control the smile that consumed my face.

"I have to get up, I have surgery at eight," I explained resting my face along the side of hers. "I would stay with you every minute until this creep is taken care of, if I didn't have an obligation to a lot of people. If anything goes wrong, you only need to call me and I'll be there."

She nodded her head. "I guess this is the downfall to dating an important surgeon." She turned in my arms so she was facing me with a little smirk on her face.

"Oh, so you think we're dating now?" I scrunched my face at her.

Panic overtook her joyful expression.

"What, Bella did your sense of humor leave once you knew I was in love with you?" The most adorable grin started to creep up over her face. "I hope you are more than just dating me Bella. You are definitely my girlfriend, but that label seems so simple, temporary, don't you think?" Bella's face was glowing as she nuzzled into my neck.

After kissing the top of her head one more time, I pulled out of her grip. "I really need to get in the shower. Go back to sleep if you want." Bella whimpered as I got out of bed and headed into the bathroom.

As I closed the bathroom door, I took one last look at Bella snuggling into my bed and felt perfectly content.

Quickly, I stripped off my pants and jumped into the shower, submerging myself underneath the barrage of hot water, letting my body relax. My back was in knots. Probably because I had been so tense yesterday worrying about Bella. That panic I felt while Bella was in Port Angeles seemed like so long ago. All I could think of, and all that seemed near, was the fact that Bella loved me back.

It scared me though, knowing how much I loved Bella. I would marry her now if I could, but I knew that Bella would run for the hills if I suggested that now. How did this happen this fast? I've only knowingly loved her a little over two weeks. Loving Bella and knowing I wanted her forever was easy. Most couples start to date because they are physically drawn to each other, then if they can get past the physical, they spend years developing a relationship. Bella and I already had a relationship. We knew each other's pasts. She knew the real me and I knew the real her. Our families loved each other. We had the same ambitions and desires for life. We had the same interests and passions. All I had needed was to have the "my little sister's best friend" blinders taken off and it became complete. We already had what other people worked for; we just had to wait for the timing to be right. I thoroughly believed what I told Bella the other day; I was glad we didn't date earlier. I would have blown it in high school, I was positive of that. In college it would have ended because of the time and distance factors. Now things couldn't be more perfect. We were both done with the growing up crap. We both knew who we were and what we wanted. And now, it could be forever, not just the next couple of months or years, but forever.

_This is crazy. I've become one of the guys on those chick flicks Bella likes to watch. _

This morning I noticed Bella was a little blotchy and red around her lips. I was sure it was from my five o'clock shadow and decided to quickly shave. Grabbing for the doorknob to my room and get dressed, I realized I was still naked. I ran to my linen closet and found a towel, wrapping it around my waist. I was more of an air-dry type of guy, but for Bella's benefit, I thought I should be a gentleman and wear a towel.

When I walked out of the bathroom, I noticed Bella wasn't there and the bed was made. I was disappointed. I wanted one more look at her in my bed wearing my ratty old t-shirt. After quickly dressing, I walked out to the living room. Bella was sitting at the table reading the paper and had breakfast on the table for both of us.

"Hey, reading anything exciting?" I asked, sitting down at the setting next to her. As I observed my breakfast, I snickered at how perfect she was for me. I practically salivated at the vanilla yogurt, granola, and fresh fruit.

Bella rolled her eyes at me. "Um, yeah, there were some serious fights down at the Bingo hall last night." We both chuckled, knowing nothing exciting ever happened here. I think the situation with James was the biggest case Emmett has had since working at the police department.

"Thanks for breakfast. You really didn't need to do that. But, I'm glad you did, because it's my favorite."

"Really? Your favorite? By your running skills, I would've taken you as a donut kind of guy." She was trying desperately hard not to laugh at her own joke.

"Well, when you were spying on me in my underwear in L.A., you didn't seem to mind my body." Now I was the one trying to contain my laughter, as she turned scarlet red.

"Ouch! Okay, you win that one," she sulked.

We ate our breakfast mostly in silence, as I read the sports section and Bella read the front page. She hurried back to change into her clothes and I grabbed my wallet and keys. When she walked back down the hall, I was suddenly torn by how beautiful she looked and how much I hated not seeing her in my pajamas anymore.

"You ready?" I asked opening the door.

Bella shrugged into her coat, "I guess, if you're going to ditch me today," she answered, pouting and giving me a wicked smirk as she passed me by.

Bella was quiet as we drove down the street and seemed to be looking intently out the windows. Immediately, I was worried that reality was sinking in and she had realized she didn't want this, or me. She had spent her whole life putting me up on a pedestal. What if the reality of me wasn't what she had hoped for? I guess depending on the day it could be worse or better, since she both loved and hated me. Letting my mind wonder off on a tangent, I smirked, wondering what days she hated me and what days she wanted me. I shook myself from my own reflections to focus on Bella.

"Hey, what's on your mind?"

She turned her gaze toward me, looking nervous. "I just feel like he could be anywhere watching me, you know? Like, any minute we could pass a street and his car will be sitting there waiting to follow, or after you drive away he is going to pull up in front of the house. UGH," she practically screamed. "I hate letting someone or something have this much control over me. I just want him gone. It's like they say, good things always happen with bad things. You're my good thing and now all this crap is happening."

Grabbing onto her hand, I tried to calm her as I rubbed circles with my thumb on the back of her skin. "Hey, Charlie will be with you at the house all day. We all know he has multiple guns in the house, and I know he wouldn't hesitate to use them either. You are meeting with Emmett later, and he's another person who won't hesitate to use a gun. Then, as soon as I'm done at work, I want to come over and see you, if that's okay? None of us will let anything happen to you, and if you need me, call and in a second I'll be there."

"That's the thing, Edward. I don't want all of you worrying about me and having to babysit me. I'm a grown woman. How did I survive ten years in L.A. and never deal with anything like this, and then move to the most boring town in the continental U.S. and find danger?" She was flustered and angry and I didn't blame her. I hated that I had no solution for her. I knew that if I sat here trying to solve it and console her, it would only irritate her more.

Nodding my head, I tried to think of the right thing to say, but all I came up with was, "I know, it sucks." A little smile crept up over her face and she squeezed my hand.

_Man, I love that I know this woman so well._

I pulled into the driveway and reached to put my car into park, and Bella stopped me with her hand. "Don't get out, I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" I asked pulling my eyebrows together.

"Yup," she answered and leaned in to kiss me good-bye.

Bella's lips were perfect with mine. I tried very hard to keep it a simple chaste kiss, but Bella was too desirable for me to resist. Deepening the kiss, I laced my fingers through her silky hair as I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck. I could have kissed her like this all day. I didn't know how I was going to get through the day without her lips on mine.

Bella pulled her mouth slightly away from mine and said, "Have a good day Dr. Cullen. I'll see you tonight."

"I'll call you when I have a break, and quit calling me Dr. Cullen. Good luck talking to your boss today."

"Thanks." She slid out of my car and walked up the sidewalk to her porch.

I quickly rolled down my window. "Bella," I called. Bella turned and looked over her shoulder. "I love you."

My two favorite things happened simultaneously. Bella's face filled with a smile and her cheeks burned red.

"Me too! You know, you've got to quit beating me to that." We both smiled and then she disappeared into the house.

Seven hours later I was finally sitting at my desk alone. I'd had surgery this morning and then three other appointments one after another. My neck was killing me from sitting hunched over doing a bypass surgery this morning, so I slumped back into my chair and pulled out my cell phone, wanting to talk to Bella before I grabbed a late lunch.

She picked up after one ring. "Hello?" Bella's voice was broken. She sounded like she was or had been crying.

My heart rate accelerated and I was already out of my seat ready to go to her. "What's wrong? Is James there? Are you hurt?" I was pleading for her to tell me what was wrong.

"Nothing, no nothing has happened with James." I could hear her taking deep breaths to calm herself.

"Bella, something is wrong, tell me what's wrong."

"I… I'm…" great sobs escaped her mouth and I could hear she was doing all she could to try and stop them. "Edward, I'm moving back to L.A."

**Author Notes:**

I know I left with a tiny cliffy there, but it had to be done. The rest has to come from Bella. What did you think of Bella and Edward Fluff?

You guys blew me away with reviews last chapter, it was the most I ever had in one chapter. It was very humbling Thank you all, I have the best reviewers ever.

Click the review button you know you want to. Please, please, please, with an Edward on top.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Notes:**

After last week's cliffy, I felt really guilty. So to make it up to all of you, I updated within a week, that's half the time I normally take.

Thank you Angie, you nickname should be Speed Beta. Muah!

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me.

**Chapter 24**

**Decisions**

Slowly, I had been caving into my feelings for Edward. Letting my guard down and trusting that what he told me was true. What solidified my need for him in my life, ironically, was James. When I realized who James was, fear overtook me and the only person I wanted, the only person who could make me feel safe was, Edward. Not only did I want him to be there with me, but I _needed_ him. All my life Charlie had made me feel safe. Maybe it was because he was my dad, or maybe it was the fact that he was an armed Chief of Police, or maybe even a combination of the two. Regardless, I always felt reassured with him. Yesterday, however, was different. When I got in the car with Charlie, the fear and panic that I expected to subside didn't. Instead, the suffocating fear I felt only lessened to a hyperventilating terror; the panic didn't go away, it was only slightly reduced. For the first time in my life, my dad didn't make it go away; I needed someone else to calm my fears. I needed Edward.

When Charlie pulled into the Forks police station and I saw Edward standing there, I immediately felt a little bit of relief, and when he took me in his arms and told me it would all be okay, I believed him with everything in me. I felt a calm flush through my body and, I felt like I could breathe again.

Once I was in his arms, everything became perfect; there were no other words to describe it. I was calm when Edward was with me, but when he wasn't near me the fear would over take me. I felt so dumb asking him to come and stay with me. I didn't want him to see me as weak. But, I needed him and when I saw his beautiful bare chest while he sat in his bed, a whole other kind of need for him added to the swell. I hadn't meant to tell him that I loved him the way that I did. I thought I would need this big grand gesture to express myself. After all, this was Edward. I had never told anyone I loved them before; other than my family, some of the Cullen's, and maybe my childhood cat. So I wasn't sure how it was supposed to be done. When he held me the way he did and told me he loved me, the words just fell from my mouth.

When Edward didn't respond at first, I was scared. Scared that he had realized that I wasn't what he really wanted, scared he would see me as one of those geeky girls from all those teen movies that hides in all the corners, hearing Backstreet Boys, whenever he walked into a room. Then when he clutched to my body as I tried to move away from him, my body was overcome with an indescribable joy.

I was so grateful that the banter and the sarcasm didn't disappear with our confessions. I didn't know if I could have handled it if Edward started spouting sonnets, and wanted to gaze into my eyes all night telling me how much he loved me and how beautiful I was – that wasn't us. Luckily the only difference was the perfectly built barrier that I had created between us completely vanished as if it never even existed. Well, there was one other difference. I could kiss Edward. I could touch Edward. I could lay with Edward. All of the things I had dreamt about since my hormones kicked in, I could do. He was everything I'd imagined, and so much more.

Spending all night with Edward, waking up in his arms, eating breakfast with him, leaving the house together, saying I love you as we parted, it felt so natural. It was a sample of everything I'd hoped for of my future. Edward was everything I wanted. Being with him in such a domestic setting really made me realize I could do that with him every day for the rest of my life.

_Whoa, Bella! You better pull those reigns in real tight. It is way too early for you to be thinking this way. You'll freak him out!_

After Edward dropped me off, my love high dissipated and exhaustion took over. Charlie was still asleep, so I headed upstairs for a much needed nap. I woke up from my nap with a pathetic grin on my face. I think I even did one of those disgustingly cute stretches and smiles like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty do when they awake from their slumbers. My words may not have turned cheesy toward Edward but my thoughts definitely had. My stomach let out a loud rumble and I headed downstairs to scrounge up something to put in my stomach. As I cleared the last step, I found Charlie in his usual spot, sitting in his recliner watching some television.

"How are ya, Kid?" He asked without turning from the TV.

Even though Charlie couldn't see me, I shrugged my shoulders before moving toward the worn couch and I plopped down, facing Charlie. He muted the television.

"I'm okay. The nap helped." I was lying through my teeth. I didn't want to admit to Charlie that every creak of the old wooden floors, every rattle of the windows, and every car driving by caused my chest to constrict. Like I've said before, I don't like needing people.

A little wicked grin started to peak through Charlie's countenance and I got scared of what he was going to say. I waited, holding my breath. Charlie turned back toward the TV. "Looked like Edward, was pretty willing to take care of you. You know, taking you home, yelling at Emmett…" The grin slowly widened and he looked like he was trying to control a laugh. "Holding your hand, rubbing your back, you know that sort of thing."

My brows slowly pulled together and I felt a blush consume my face. "Yeah, he was really great about everything. What's so funny dad?"

"Nothing, I'm just wondering if you two are ever going to get your act together. We've all seen it; we're all patiently waiting for you two to do something about it."

"Well, we kind of have. Not that it's anyone's business but ours, but we're going to give the whole dating thing a try."

Charlie's eyes bugged out a little in shock and then he turned back to the TV. I don't know if he was more shocked that we were dating, or that I so openly shared that information with him. He wasn't the only one that had decided to become more open after his heart attack. "Well, that's good. I'm not getting any younger Bella and I'd sure like to see a grandchild while I'm alive."

"You're ridiculous," I spat as I shoved off the arm of the couch and headed straight to the kitchen listening to Charlie's laugh.

I leaned up against the edge of the old laminate counter and shook my head. Charlie had definitely become more expressive with me since his whole heart surgery thing. Maybe they gave him a faulty valve or something. I reached up to the cabinet above me and pulled out a plate and put together some leftovers.

Hurrying through the left over stir-fry – while reading Wuthering Heights for the hundredth time – I was almost done when Charlie came walking in and dropped down into the chair next to me. I was panicked wondering what humiliating thing he was going to say next. But, when I looked up at his face he was very serious. I gave him my attention and waited for him to say something.

"Bella, I know you're an independent woman or whatever you want to call it. That you are tough as nails, you don't need anyone, and you hate to inconvenience people. But Bella, this thing with James, is very serious. You need to let us help and protect you. Let Emmett and I do our jobs without argument. For example, try not to ever be alone until we figure this out."

Continuing to smear the soy sauce around on my plate, I nodded. The fear was starting to kick in again. Listening to Charlie talk so seriously about the situation after just teasing me made me a little… scared.

"You get it, Kid? We aren't trying to control you, we don't think you are incapable of taking care of yourself, and we aren't making a big deal out of nothing. We just don't know what James is capable of and none of us are willing to take that chance with you."

I shoved back my chair and it made a screeching noise as it skidded across the linoleum. I grabbed my plate and dropped it into the sink and started to leave the kitchen, stopping in the doorway. "I don't want to be scared all of the time. I know what you're saying and I know you're right. Can we just not talk about it anymore?" My voice was pleading.

"We have to meet with Emmett tonight, but other than that I won't bring it up anymore. Bella… I'm here for you… in any way you need me."

"I know, thank you." Squeezing onto the door frame one last time, I pushed off of it and let out a loud breath.

I refused to let James – I couldn't even think his name without bile rising in my throat – ruin my Edward high. I needed a long hot shower to help clear my head. As I climbed the stairs I headed straight into the tiny bathroom. As I stood under the shower head, letting the pellets of water hit my back, I instantly started to relax. The steam that came off my body while the hot water passed over it, carried the scent of Edward and all I could feel now was happiness. That was exactly what I needed, to get my head clear and now the high was back.

Forty-two minutes. That's how many minutes had passed since I hung up the phone with my boss. Forty-two minutes, I had been sitting here, legs crossed, on my little twin bed, staring at the clock on my nightstand. With the exception of silent tears escaping down my cheeks, I sat here unmoving, watching as the minutes passed by at a torturously slow speed.

How could this happen to me? Two hours ago, I stood in the shower humming to some sappy Celine Dion song from Titanic. I never hummed. I made fun of people who hummed, and relentlessly made fun of people who hummed in the shower. But being in Edward's arms all night did that to me. Being loved by him and loving him back, made me hum in the freaking shower.

My mind couldn't fathom being able to walk away from Edward now. All of my life, I felt like one of the puzzle pieces of my existence was missing. When I was a child, I blamed it on the fact that my mother abandoned me. As a teenager, I got over my mommy issues and decided it was my desire to get out of Forks, and make something of myself. When I landed my dream job with Random House and the void was still there, I just figured that it meant I was one of those people that would never be happy, and I learned to live with that emptiness inside of me.

When I came back to Forks, that puzzle piece that was missing was still there but now I felt as if all of the edges of that blank spot were surrounded by flames and it burned into my broken soul. The first time I felt the flame subside, was when Edward kissed me in the hall at the Cullen home, then in his arms in L.A., then again dancing with him at the gala, and then when Edward told me he loved me the emptiness vanished as if the final puzzle piece had been set in place. Now, with him, I was complete.

My body started to convulse, releasing the pent up sobs I had been holding in for almost an hour. I fell to my side and buried my face into my pillow, not wanting Charlie to hear my sobs. The last thing I wanted to do was have to talk about this. Talking about it would be admitting it was really going to happen.

_Buzz, buzz, buzz._

The cell phone I held clutched in my hand started vibrating, pulling me away from my hysterics. I hadn't realized I had been holding onto it since the conversation with my boss had ended. Rolling over onto my back, I tried to clear my vision by wiping away the pools of tears in my eyes. I looked at the caller ID and saw it was Edward. My heart constricted further, knowing I would have to leave him. I quickly took a couple of long controlled breaths before answering the phone.

Clearing my throat I did my best to sound normal, but all that escaped my lips was a strangled, "Hello?"

"What's wrong? Is James there? Are you hurt?" Edward sounded scared and desperate. I didn't want him to be worried about me.

"Nothing, no nothing has happened with James." I continued with my deep breaths trying to contain my crying.

"Bella, something is wrong, tell me what's wrong."

"I… I'm…" the flood gates had been released and I couldn't get them back up. "Edward, I'm moving back to L.A."

Edward didn't respond, and I slammed my hand up over my mouth trying to muzzle my cries.

"Did you say you're moving back to L.A.?" I barely heard the question he had barely whispered.

I cringed hearing his empty voice. I fell back onto my pillow and curled myself into a fetal position. "Yeah," I rasped out and then sucked in a loud breath.

Silence lingered as minutes passed. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think of his response. I wanted him to do something; yell, hang up, tell me it was fine, but most of all I wanted him to tell me he didn't want me to go. Instead it was just silent, and I could cut the tension with a knife even though we weren't even in the same building. I needed to know what he was thinking.

"Edward, I don't know what to say. I need to know –"

"Can you hang on a second, Bella?" His voice was suddenly very strong and professional.

"Sure."

"Thanks."

I could faintly hear two deep voices talking through the phone and I just sat there silently waiting for Edward to come back. I hoped that he would have something to say to me. That maybe before he was lost in thought and now that he had been shaken from his thoughts he would have something to say.

"Bella, are you still there?"

"Uh huh," I mumbled, still not in full control of my voice.

"I need to go. They need me in an emergency surgery. Can I still come by after work?" He asked hesitantly. Why would he think I didn't want him to come?

"Of course."

"Okay, it won't be until seven or so. I'll bring dinner. Is Chinese okay?"

"Sounds great."

"Alright, I'll see you tonight. Good-bye, Bella."

As he said the words good-bye to me, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. "Bye."

Simultaneously, I hung up the phone and rolled my face into the pillow and cried until I fell back asleep.

_Knock, knock, knock._

A loud groan escaped my mouth as I rolled over in bed, feeling the burn in my eyes from crying way too much. "What?" I yelled out hoarsely.

"Bella, we need to head down to the station to meet with Emmett."

Another groan rumbled through my chest. Why couldn't I just stay in this room forever? Pretend that all of this crap with James wasn't going on. Pretend I might not be losing my job. Pretend Edward wasn't upset with me. "I'll be down in a minute," I mumbled as I lifted myself out of bed keeping my back toward the door.

Charlie and I didn't really say anything on the way to the station. That was one of the nice things about Charlie; he didn't hover or force an uncomfortable conversation. The drive to the station ended much quicker than I would have liked, but I guess there's no such thing as a long drive within Forks. The station was quiet as I shuffled through the doors. I didn't wait for anyone to direct me, I just headed straight into Emmett's office. I could hear Charlie behind me making small talk with the other officers. Emmett sat hunched over some paperwork. He looked exactly like he did in high school. His left hand curved over the top of his paper tightly gripping his pen, his face down close to the paper, with his brows furrowed in deep concentration.

"Hey, Em," I announced knocking softly on the doorframe.

He lifted his eyes toward the door but didn't change his position, and then a wide grin spread across his face. "Hey, Bella are you surviving?"

"Yup," I said giving an extra pop at the end. Emmett pointed at the chair in front of him, and I took his invitation and sat down.

"You want to hurry and get this over with?"

"Please," I pleaded. Emmett gave me a knowing and compassionate smile. Dropping his pen, he stood from his chair and walked around the desk and wrapped his arms around me, lifting me up off the ground in a tight bear hug. After a minute he set me down. I don't know why but his kind gesture caused my eyes to fill with unshed tears.

"You looked like you could use one of those," he said, reaching and wiping away the single tear escaping my eye. Emmett was much more compassionate than people gave him credit for. Sometimes I swore the entire Cullen family was either psychic or mind readers – they were so in-tune to everyone around them.

Emmett sat down in the chair next to mine and I followed his lead, sitting in mine. Then he shifted his chair so he was facing me and leaned over resting his elbows on his knees.

"Okay, Bella here's the deal. We were right before about there being nothing we can do about James yet, because we just don't have anything on him. Here's how I would like this all to go down. We're pretty sure he's going to lay low for a few days because he probably knows that you've figured it out. So on Monday, we want you to start running again by yourself, at your usual time." My heart rate accelerated, I couldn't believe he was asking me to go and fall prey into the craziest person I had ever met.

"Calm, down," he said, resting a hand on my knee. "We will have a designated route and in short increments throughout your route, me, your dad, and other plain-clothes officers will be watching. We will not let anything happen to you. But, here is the hard part, Bella; we can't arrest him for driving by you. So we will have to let him approach you and he has to either threaten you or try to take you by physical force before we can have any serious charges on him." Emmett sat staring into my face trying to read my reaction to his plan.

I took several long breaths to calm my nerves. "So what happens if he approaches me when I'm in between the increments of protection?"

"We will have you wired. So we will be able to hear anything that goes on. We are going to keep the route short so the distance between officers will be very small. In fact, one of us should be able to see you at all times. We won't let anything happen to you. I promise." And I trusted him. I knew Emmett loved me like a little sister and I knew he would never let anything happen to me and neither would Charlie.

"Well, I have to be in L.A. Friday and I wasn't going to come back until Monday. Could we put it off until Tuesday?"

"Why are you going to L.A.?"

"I talked to my boss today, and we need to resolve some issues, I'm planning on staying through the weekend in case I need to find a place to live down there."

Emmett's eyes grew double their natural size. "You're moving back to L.A.?"

Nodding my head, I stared down at my intertwined fingers. "Most likely."

Seconds later, I heard a loud breath leave Emmett's chest. "Bella," I looked up at Emmett's piercing, concerned eyes. "Does Edward know?"

"Kind of."

"He really cares about you, you know." I had never seen Emmett look this concerned about Edward before. It caused my throat to constrict in my neck. I only gave him a nod in response. "Well give me a call when your plans are more concrete and then we can make our arrangements." Emmett stood up and I rose from my seat also. He wrapped a giant arm around my shoulder. "Everything will work out. Go home and get some sleep, you look like you could use it."

"Don't you know that's a rude thing to say to a girl? I know mom taught you better than that." I heard my best friend lecture from behind me, and I couldn't help the small smile that crept on my face. Before I could even turn around, I was encircled in a much needed Alice hug. The difference between a hug from Alice and a hug from Emmett was like hugging a baby monkey and hugging a gorilla.

"Hi, Honey, how are you? Sorry, I wasn't here for you earlier. Apparently, my idiot brothers don't think I should know what's going on with my best friend."

"Pshhh, like Bella needed a little pip-squeak annoying her when she needs to go and get some rest."

Alice rolled her eyes at Emmett and linked her arm with mine leading me out of the office. As we crossed the threshold, Emmett called me.

"Bella, do you think your boss could keep this whole situation from James until we get this resolved? If James finds out you went to your boss, he'll know you probably went to the police. I kind of have to get this taken care of or my little brother might get himself into trouble taking care of it himself."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "Yes, he has already told me he will keep it between us until the situation is resolved."

Before another word could be spoken, Alice dragged me from the office and toward her car. As I passed Charlie, I yelled a good-bye over my shoulder, since Alice had no intention of slowing down.

Alice and I spent the next hour on my living room couch talking, laughing, and crying as I recounted everything to her from Port Angeles and James, to my night with Edward and our declarations, to the phone call with my boss, and then the phone call with Edward. Alice was the best friend a girl could ask for. She just sat and listened and let me get everything out that I had been holding inside. She hugged me when I cried. She let some colorful language escape her mouth when I told her about James and a tear fell from her eye when I told her about Edward. Alice was always aware of the best thing to do for me. She listened, she pushed me, she yelled at me, she hugged me, and made me laugh. It was like she had some machine built into her that told her exactly what to do to make me happier. Thinking about of how wonderful a friend Alice was, my sadness doubled, realizing I would not only lose Edward again but also my best friend.

"You know what we need? We need a giant Dr. Pepper and some slice-and-bake cookie dough," Alice spouted in her most chipper voice.

"You're brilliant, you know that?"

"Oh, I know. Let's go." Alice jumped off the couch pulling me along with her.

Alice's sleek yellow Porsche beeped as she unlocked the doors, her car stuck out like a sore thumb in this small town. Alice always stood out in this town too, so I guess it was appropriate. Driving through town at a fearful speed, she got us to the Forks Thrifty Mart in seconds. I was sure to onlookers, Alice's car flying through town looked like a streak of sunlight. I exited the car feeling much the same way I would exiting a roller coaster; nauseous and having to crawl out from a seat so low to the ground.

"Come on, Bella. You look like an old lady struggling to climb out of my car," Alice laughed.

"Be quiet, this would be a lot easier if I didn't feel so horrible after your reckless driving. I'm driving next time." I hurried to catch up to Alice, linking my arm in hers.

"Alice?" I asked reluctantly.

"Hmmm?" She asked while skimming our selection of cookie dough.

"What do you think is going to happen with me and Edward if I go?"

Alice didn't even look up to me. "You aren't going," Alice stated very matter-of-factly.

"Alice, I love my job. I'm good at it. I have to go where my boss wants me. What am I going to do, stay here and work in the Forks library? I want more than that."

Alice turned and looked at me with a look of frustration combined with defeat. "If you tell Edward that, he won't stop you. He won't ask you to give up your life and something you love for him. He's too selfless that way."

"I'm kind of counting on that." Alice looked at me baffled. "It is easier to leave him, than it would be having him leave me, once the novelty of our relationship wares off."

A frustrated sigh left Alice's mouth as she snatched up the cookie dough. Rolling her eyes, she held it up to me. "I think we definitely need the caramel filled chocolate chip tonight." Nodding in agreement, I grabbed the dough and she dragged me further down the refrigerated section.

Alice reached over and grabbed her Diet Coke and my Dr. Pepper. "Bella, it's going to crush him."

"He didn't seem all that torn up about it on the phone. Besides, he would have been sick of me in a couple of months."

"Ugh," Alice stopped in the middle of the isle and spun around, penetrating me with her angry glare. "Why do you never see yourself clearly, Bella?"

"You're my best friend Alice. Of course you see me as more than I am. Edward… Edward is… he's one of the most beautiful creatures on this earth, he's successful, he's smart, athletic, and he is every woman's dream come true. Trust me, even in a town like this he won't be alone for long." I gave her a short stare down as she challenged my glare. "Let's go, I want some cookies, and maybe we could just hook that Dr. Pepper up to me as an IV drip," I yelled over my shoulder as I walked to the register. I heard her mumbles something that sounded like, disgusting, from behind me.

Alice and I sat silently for the quick drive home. I knew Alice only wanted to convince me to stay and she knew I was done talking about it, and she left it alone. We were back to my house in just a couple of minutes so I didn't have to avoid the awkwardness for very long.

Alice pulled over along the curb, and there was Edward sitting on the porch steps with a bag sitting between his feet. He looked exhausted resting his elbows on his knees, and his head hanging down.

"Crap, I forgot Edward was coming over and bringing dinner," I said looking over apologetically at Alice.

"Its fine, I need to leave so I don't kill you anyways." I turned to Alice, shocked by her words and she just winked at me, raising her mouth into a half smile. "You two really need to talk, and I'm taking the cookie dough." We both started to giggle and she reached over and pulled out my Dr. Pepper and handed it to me. "Here, I think you'll need this."

I leaned across the console and hugged Alice. "Thanks Alice, you're the best friend anyone could have."

"I know, now get out of here." Quickly, I pulled myself from the car.

Once I got out of the car and grabbed my Dr. Pepper, I slammed the car door shut. Edward's head snapped up at the sound of the car door and his panicked eyes locked with mine. The purr of Alice's engine faded as she pulled away down the street.

My eyes never left Edward's as I stood there, unmoving. I didn't know what was happening but I couldn't look away from him or move from my spot on the grass. In one fluid motion, Edward stood from the porch and took long strides across the grass toward me. How could a man make a t-shirt and a pair of jeans look like a work of art? Only Edward could. Before I could even unlock our trance he was pulling me into his arms and crushing me into his chest. My fingers clung to the back of his shirt.

Edward kissed the top of my head, and took a deep breath. "Where were you? I was so worried," he said talking into my hair.

"Alice and I ran to the market for a soda."

"Bella, I didn't know where you were. The house was empty and you weren't answering your phone. I thought something had happened to you; don't ever do that to me again." Suddenly I was very aware of Edward's heart slamming against his rib cage.

"Alice dragged me out of the house and I didn't grab my phone. I'm sorry, Edward. I don't want you worrying about me like that." Edward's hands slid down cupping the sides of my face, forcing me to look him in the eye.

"Bella, I love you. I'm always going to worry about you." Then his lips were on mine. His kiss was desperate and hungry. I could tell he was still recovering from thinking something happened to me. I kissed him back with everything in me trying to reassure him of my safety and my uncontrollable love.

Edward pulled slightly away, resting his forehead against mine. "Come on, let's go inside. Dinner is probably cold and I'm starving."

"Me too." Edward dropped his hand down the side of my arm and laced his fingers with mine, leading me into the house.

We walked through the dark living room and into the kitchen and I flicked on the lights. Edward went straight to the table pulling out all of the different containers of greasy Chinese food, while I headed for the cabinets and grabbed some dishes and a drink for Edward.

As I set everything down on the table, Edward glared at me.

"What?" I asked defensively.

"You're not going to share?"

"Share what?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Why do I get a water bottle and you get a Dr. Pepper?" He asked mischievously eyeing my drink.

Suddenly it occurred to me what he was asking for, and I felt a smirk rise on my face. "Look I know I said I loved you but sharing my sweet nectar is a whole other playing field." I gave him my best puppy dog eyes. "But, if you really want some, I'll share it with you."

"No, forget it, I just wanted to see if you'd share if I asked," he said giving me a sexy wink as he sank down into his chair. We both started grabbing for the food and piling our plates with noodles, rice, chicken, and beef.

"So, how was work today?"

"I was really busy today. I had three different surgeries and a couple of patients I met with. I haven't even eaten since breakfast."

"That sucks, you must be starving."

"Eh, the advantage to a busy day is it goes by really fast. Hey, how did it go with Emmett today?"

"Um, fine. The plan is that on Monday, I will go on my usual morning run and police officers and my dad will be placed throughout my route and if or when James shows up, they will wait until he does something that we can charge him for and then they will move in and arrest him."

Edward was silent. After a second, I looked up to see him staring at me, fork mid-air, and jaw open.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Absolutely not!" Edward dropped his fork down on his plate and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Absolutely not, what?"

"You are not going to go running alone and put yourself out in harm's way intentionally. Not with a psycho trying to track you down."

"You're being ridiculous. There will be cops within sight of me at all times and I will be wired."

"I don't care, it's not enough, I'm going with you."

"Yeah, that'll be affective. As if James would really approach me with you by my side. Look, Edward, I know what you're saying but the only way to get rid of him is to let him think he's caught me."

"No!"

Suddenly, I was the one crossing my arms over my chest looking annoyed. "It's not really your decision to make." We stared each other down, waiting to see who would surrender first.

"Fine, I'll talk to Emmett later. He's the one really in charge with this situation. The decision isn't really yours."

He was really getting under my skin. Overbearing Edward was not my favorite. My fork clanked against my plate loudly as I stabbed forcefully into my food, all the while giving him the stink eye.

Finally, he looked up with a little smirk on his face acting like he didn't hear me murdering my dinner or notice the angry look on my face. "The girls' have their dance recital tomorrow night. Will you come with me? I know they would really like you to be there."

A loud huff escaped my nose and mouth in surrender. I could never stay mad at this man. "Of course I'll be there. I wouldn't miss it. What time is it at?"

"It's at six, and if you want the family is all going out to dinner afterward."

I nodded as I stood from the table, clearing my dishes. "Sounds great."

There were several dishes in the sink, so I opened up the dishwasher to throw them all in. As I was rinsing off my plate, I felt Edward's body press up against the back of mine and his hands dropped down on the counter at my sides. I felt like he was trapping me against the sink, and I didn't mind at all. His head leaned over onto my shoulder and my body stilled in place, with the exception of my labored breathing.

Edward tilted his head, brushing his lips against my ear as he spoke. "Bella, when are you going to talk to me?"

The breath I hadn't realized I was holding escaped my lips. "We have been talking."

"Not about our phone conversation this afternoon."

My racing heart thudded into slow motion. I reached down and started to rinse off the dishes again.

"Ignoring it isn't going to make it go away. Are you moving to L.A.?"

Not wanting to speak, I nodded, feeling my cheek rub back and forth against his. Edward pushed backwards, still keeping his hands on the counter. He rested the top of his head against the middle of my back.

"Why?" He whispered.

"They offered me a promotion, and James is really the biggest client here and if I am not working with him, there really isn't a strong need for me to be here."

"But, you could stay here if you wanted to?" The heat coming off Edward's head and spreading through my shirt and body was distracting.

"I would lose my chance at the promotion. I've worked for this my whole life. I can't move forward in my career staying here."

"What about us?"

"I don't know. We could make it work, can't we?"

"What do you want Bella? What will make you happy? Cause if you aren't going to be happy here with me, I get it. I don't want you to ever look back and wonder what if, or resent me when you don't have the career you wanted."

"I know. But, what if I take the job and this relationship doesn't work long distance? I could be unhappy the rest of my life or do the 'what if' game about you too. I lose no matter what I decide." I threw my head backward and let out a loud groan. "I can't win."

"When do they want you?"

"They want me there on Friday to discuss the promotion and then we will decide from there what I will do."

Edward's head nodded against my back. "Well, it seem like you have a big decision to make and I can't make it for you." I spun myself around so I was facing him. My eyes filled with tears. Edward looked up into my face looking like he was just as broken over this as I was.

"Tell me what to do. I don't know what to do." I knew the real reason I couldn't decide. Hands down, my decision was easily to stay with Edward. I wanted him for the rest of my life. Why would I ever walk away from him? But there was a very huge part of me that still felt like he was out of my league. What if I passed up this chance and he realized he could do better later on? I would have given up a career opportunity I may never get back. Then I would be alone and without a job. I knew I didn't want to be in Forks without him. This decision would've been so much easier if he asked me to stay.

"I can't," he said staring down at our intertwined hands. That was my answer. If he had really wanted me to stay, he would have asked me. Tears streamed down my face as I stared down at his shoes.

"Okay."

Edward's fingers skimmed up and down my spine. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. Why did I feel like I was losing him already? I looked up into his eyes and I felt like both of us were begging the other for something but neither of us knew what it was. I tugged on his neck and he captured me. Edward's soft lips caressed mine over and over again with short, chaste pecks intermixed with long, passionate kisses. Edward had me pinned up against the cabinet and sink and the weight of his body against mine was arousing. My fingers dug into his hair at the base of his neck and a moan escaped his mouth.

Edward's cell phone started ringing and he pulled away from me. "That's the hospital," he panted. Edward cleared his throat before answering the phone and walked out of the kitchen.

I finished cleaning up the kitchen and tried to get my breathing and body back under control. I was loading the last dish when his velvety voice interrupted me.

"I guess my day is not over, I have to go back to the hospital. I'm sorry. Are you going to be okay, by yourself?"

"I'll be fine." I started following him to the front door.

Edward opened the door and then turned toward me. He wrapped one hand behind my ear and pulled me into him placing one soft kiss on my lips. "Bye."

"Bye." I felt a lump rising in my throat. I quickly dropped my gaze to the floor and I saw his feet turn and walk out the door.

Edward turned around as I was about to shut the door. "By the way, I already called Charlie. He'll be home in a few minutes." He grinned at my eye roll, and turned toward his car.

As the door clicked shut, I leaned my head against it, letting the tears fall from my eyes. I was startled when I felt the doorknob start to move underneath my hand. I stood back and opened the door.

Edward stood in the doorway with his hands up against the opposite sides of the doorframe. "Bella, I am going to do something really selfish here." I quickly wiped the tears from my face and looked at him completely confused. He took one step toward me, closing the distance, and then took one more step forcing me against the wall behind the door. Gently, he reached up and held my face between his hands. "Stay," his voice was no more than a whispered plea. "Stay, stay for me. This is probably the most selfish thing I'll ever ask anyone, but I can't lose you." I opened my mouth to speak and he kissed me instead. "Just think about it. I'll call you later."

**Author Notes:**

So, what do you think?

You know the more love I get from you guys the quicker I write. I'm going out of town a week from today. I would have to get a lot of love to update again before I leave on vacation. Review, pretty please.


	25. Chapter 25

**Author Notes:**

I am so unbelievably grateful to all of you who take the time to review, and who put me on alert or add me to your favorites. You all are wonderful, you make all this work worth it. Thanks for all my peeps over on the thread, come and join us if you like. The link is on my profile.

I've got some serious love for Angie, who is amazing as a writer, beta and friend. Lynelle, I'll see you in two days. I expect you back to betaing next chapter.

Big shout out to heather dawn for pimping out my story, thanks bb.

Twilights not mine, I wish it was.

**Chapter 25**

**Trip to L.A.**

Kick my blankets off, turn over, move my pillow, turn over, pull up blankets, and repeat. This was the pattern I had been following the last hour that I'd been in bed. I was in turmoil. Half of my brain was telling me to go to L.A.; this promotion was a big deal. _I've worked my whole life to get here and establish myself and then maybe – one day – write my own book. But why would I choose a job over a man that I've loved all of my life? _ My mind kept warring against itself over these two points, driving me completely mad, keeping me from the sleep I desperately needed.

My heart was also split in two. My protective side was telling me to protect my heart, knowing that if Edward broke it, I would never recover. The part of my heart that filled with love for Edward told me I would be broken if I left him.

My body, well, my body wasn't torn at all; it wanted to stay in Edward's arms until the day I died. Moments like these were when I wished I were a man. Men somehow had an ability to just turn off their brain. That was impossible for me.

Frustrated and tired of trying to fall asleep, I shoved my blanket and sheet down to the bottom of the bed using only my feet. No longer shielded by my blanket, the cold air caused shivers to run all over my body. Quickly, I shuffled my feet across the cold wood floor to my closet and grabbed some old fuzzy slippers I'd left behind when I went off to college. Watching a movie I'd seen a hundred times always seemed to put me to sleep and force my brain to focus. I grabbed onto the doorknob ready to head downstairs when I heard my cell phone buzzing on my night-stand. Wondering who would be calling me at 10:30, I hurried over to the phone. It was a text message.

_If you're still awake, call me. If you're not… I love you. Edward_

There was no preventing the girlie grin that spread across my face, or the embarrassing squeal that escaped my lips as I threw myself back into bed and started yanking up my blankets, all the while unable to quit rereading Edward's text over and over again. I pushed the little green button twice and waited very impatiently while the phone rang. My teeth were chattering and my body trembling. Pulling my blankets tighter around me, I was unsure if it was the cold air or my excitement that caused the reaction.

"Hey, Bella," his velvety voice poured through the phone, causing my neck to get all tingly.

"Hey, you! Are you just getting done at the hospital?"

"Yeah, did I wake you up?"

"Nah, my brain is too wired to sleep. I really need a good run, but you're probably too tired for a morning run tomorrow, huh?" I asked reluctantly. Times like these made my inability to run solo, very frustrating. I felt guilty asking Edward, but nobody else would go with me.

"Running would be good. You want me there at six?"

"Yup," I said as I rolled over onto my side, snuggling into my bed, wishing he was here with me.

"What's got your brain all wired?" Edward asked sounding worried.

"Nothing really, there's this guy – you wouldn't know him – but I got offered this job position and it's a really big deal for me. But, like I said, there's this guy I'm kind of head over heels in love with and I don't want to leave him." I tried to sound as casual as possible.

"Really, what is it you would miss about this guy?" Oh, he so wants me to stroke his ego right now.

"Well, he's a great runner, the only person that can come close to keeping up with me." I heard a small laugh escape his listening silence. "He and I are really good friends. We can really talk about anything, you know. There are no pretenses, we know each other, and it's okay to be ourselves." I did my best to pull together a sexy and mysterious voice. "But, what I'd miss the most is his body. The way he looks and feels underneath my hands. The best part is the way it feels when he touches and kisses me. Wow, I can't even talk about it without wanting him here with me."

Through the receiver came a groan, "Bella, you don't know what you're doing to me right now."

Desperately, I fought to keep my laugh at bay. "I don't know what you're talking about, Edward?"

"Nothing, I'm at home now so I need to take a shower and go to bed if I'm going to be there at six." I started to laugh. "It's not funny, good-night."

"Yes it is funny, good-night, and Edward… I love you."

He didn't speak for a couple of seconds, then came a soft, "Me too."

Closing my phone, I lay in my bed with a smile that was uncontrollable and finally drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

After I quickly stumbled through my morning routine, I was ready to relieve my nerves and finally went outside to meet Edward. I should have been embarrassed by the obvious excitement on my face as I opened the door, but he already knew I loved him – right? I pulled the door shut and steadied myself to meet Edward's beautiful green eyes.

Only, I wasn't met with Edward's green eyes, I was met with a black SUV parked across the street. The windows were tinted so dark that I couldn't see James but I knew he was sitting there watching me. My heart was racing, and my senses were suddenly heightened. I could hear the eerie silence of the woods that surrounded my home. The sun had not broken through the clouds yet so it was still fairly dark at the early hour. I wanted to turn back around into the house, but I had locked the door behind me. There was a key hidden in the porch eave, but I was not about to retrieve it in front of James.

Looking over to my car in the driveway, I wondered if I could make it there and hold down the horn before he could get to me, but I couldn't remember if the car was locked. If it was, I'd be stuck that much closer to James. The door to the dreaded vehicle clicked open, pulling me from thoughts of escape. My heart accelerated to a level beyond anything I had ever felt before and I tried to scream, but I couldn't get any sound to leave my throat.

James' foot hit the pavement. A tear escaped my right eye as I tried to scream again, but all that came out was a whispered, "Help!" Pressing my back further into the door, I desperately twisted and turned the doorknob, praying it would come loose.

My heightened senses became aware of the sound of a car rounding the corner at the end of my street. Suddenly, two things happened simultaneously. The car rounding the corner accelerated at a dangerously fast speed and James jumped back into his car, peeling out down the street. As soon as James' car was out of my line of vision, my body gave out and I collapsed onto the porch, terrified sobs escaping from deep within my chest.

Drowned out in the background of my wails, I could hear a lot of screeching tires and car accelerations, and then it was silent for a moment before I heard a car screeching back down the street. Afraid that James was returning, I jumped up in an attempt to grab for the key in the eave but tripped over my own feet, smacking the side of my forehead on the porch railing.

"Bella, Bella baby, please open your eyes." I could hear Edward's voice, pleading and broken in my ear. He sounded distant, as if he were talking to me through a wall. "Charlie!" he screamed. "Charlie!" He yelled again.

I wanted to open my eyes and look at the only person in the world I wanted to see but I couldn't force my eyes open. Suddenly, I became aware of my body. I was being held and rocked back and forth and I knew it was Edward holding me because I could feel the electrical current coursing through my body starting where his hands made contact with my back and head.

"Bella, open your eyes. Come on, Baby, I need you to look at me." I was focusing so hard, trying to give him whatever he wanted, when he begged me that way.

My eyes started to flutter, and I could see Edward's silhouette but I couldn't make out his face, there was something in my eyes. "That's a good girl. Bella, are you okay?"

"My head, it's pounding," I mumbled. Edward's scared face came into focus as he wiped my head and eyes.

"I know, you've got a pretty good gash on your head. Bella, what happened?"

My mouth opened to answer Edward, but the front door flew open and within a second, I could see Charlie standing over the top of Edward's head.

"Edward, what happened?" Charlie sounded panicked and angry.

"I don't know." Edward stood from the porch, cradling me in his arms. "She and I were supposed to go running this morning. I was running a little late. When I turned down the street, I saw the black SUV in front of the house." Edward turned sideways as he carried me through the door of the house, Charlie quick on his heels.

"I tried to chase him but he was too fast and I wanted to come back for Bella. When I got to the house, Bella was unconscious up on the porch and her head was covered in blood."

Edward gently laid me down on the couch then stood above me, bare-chested with a pair of basketball shorts sitting dangerously low on his hips. His face was a collage of emotions: panic, fear, worry, and definitely rage. "She's going to need stitches. Do you have a t-shirt I can borrow? I'll take her to the hospital and stitch her up."

Standing and pinching the bridge of his nose, Edward rattled off instructions to Charlie. I was suddenly aware that the cloth that cleaned my head and currently lay against my face was Edward's t-shirt. Charlie hurried up the stairs without saying anything.

Kneeling down by my head, Edward lifted my scraped hand and kissed my palm, the back of my hand, each of my fingers, and then rested my palm against his cheek. His face was now inches from mine, his eyes so full of emotion that it stirred every emotion within me.

"You scared me; don't ever do that to me again." He winked and gave me a forced smile. "Bella… if I… if something ever happened… I just can't ever loose you." His head shook back and forth as he ran his hands through his hair. I knew that he wasn't just talking about James when he said he couldn't lose me.

My eyes started to feel heavy as I laid there staring into Edward's eyes, his fingers gently rubbing the side of my face.

"Bella, you can't close your eyes. You have to stay awake, okay?" I nodded my head, but knew I was on the verge of sleep.

Charlie entered the room handing Edward a Forks Police Department t-shirt, and I watched as Edward slipped it over his chest.

"Bella, what happened, Sweetheart?" Charlie asked as he walked around the couch to stand next to Edward.

"When I went outside to go running, James was there. I tried to come back in the house but I had locked the door behind me." My voice started to crack, and I felt the panic consuming me again. "He started to get out of the car, and I was so scared – I couldn't move or scream – I just stood there. Then Edward came and James left. I tried to grab for the spare key but that's when I fell. And then, Edward was there." Edward was back down on his knees, wiping away my tears, and reassuring me with his eyes. When Edward looked at me this way, as if he were looking deep into my soul, nothing could worry me.

"Edward, why don't you take Bella to the hospital? I'm going to run on over and talk to Emmett. Are you working today?" Both of these two men seemed to talk about me and what was going to happen to me as if I weren't even here. But I felt drained; I wasn't going to argue with them.

"Yeah, my shift starts," Edward looked down at the watch on his wrist, "in about an hour."

Charlie nodded his head. "Okay, then after I'm done with Emmett, I'll come and pick up Bella."

"Okay."

Edward leaned down and lifted me from the couch as if I weighed no more than a bag of groceries. He cradled me into his arms, and I could feel his tightened muscles along the side of my body that pressed against him. He and Charlie finished their short conversation and then Edward had me in the front seat of his car, driving me to the hospital.

As Edward drove, I couldn't help but stare at his beautiful face; His flawless olive colored skin – how many people looked like they had a tan in a town like Forks; His perfectly strong and chiseled jaw line, which I saw flex when he realized I was staring at him; His beautiful emerald green eyes, that now looked at me out of the corners; Those full, luscious lips that felt like silk against mine, they were now twitching, not liking that I was staring without saying anything.

"What?!" He barked.

"Nothing, I was just realizing how often you've had to rescue me since I've been back here."

"I know. I never would have taken you for the whole damsel in distress type of girl."

"Shut-up, you know I'm _so_ not that girl."

"Maybe not in general." He shifted the car into park as he pulled into his assigned space in the hospital parking lot. "But, I think you like having _me _take care of you."

As I started to argue, he smiled at the fleck of anger in my face, silencing my lips with his finger. "And, Bella, I really like taking care of you." Then Edward leaned in, placing one soft, gentle, long kiss with his perfect lips against mine. It took everything in me not to launch myself at him. He pulled away slowly and laughed as he opened the door. My mind immediately wondered what was funny and then I realized I still sat leaning across the console with my eyes closed.

_Damn, why was this man turning me into one big cheesy cliché?_

Refusing to let him carry me in, Edward wrapped his arm around my waist allowing me to walk into the hospital. Leading me right into a room, he kissed me on the forehead and then said he'd be right back. A half hour later he returned, dressed in scrubs, showered, and wheeling in a tray of tools.

"I'm going to stitch you up now." Without waiting for a response, he immediately went to work on my head.

Edward was quick and efficient and gentle. His eyes squinted as he focused on creating the tiny stitches on my head. When he really focused he rolled his lips in between his teeth – absolutely adorable. I would imagine every female patient he worked on wanted to keep him the way I did. Seeing him as Dr. Cullen, in action, was a whole new ball game of arousal. My finger tips grazed the side of Edward's torso that leaned over my chest and face.

"Bella," he spoke firmly. "Do you want to end up with a big scar on your face? I can't focus on the job at hand if you're touching me." Giggling, I pulled my hand away.

A few minutes later, Edward was done and cleaning up my face with a strong smelling antiseptic. "All right, you're all done. It took nine stitches, but I think it will heal fine." He handed me a mirror.

Reluctantly, I lifted the mirror to my face and saw my now constant reminder of James. On the right side of my forehead was a gash that ended in my hairline. "I hate him," I whispered.

Edward surrounded me in his arms, rubbing my back. "I'm sorry I was late. If I had been on time, none of this would have happened."

Pulling away, I looked into his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. If you hadn't shown up when you did, things could have been a lot worse." My fingers stroked the back of his neck and I felt the fine hairs raise. I smiled, knowing I had a physical effect on Edward, the way he did on me.

Charlie came in and took me home after Edward gave me some instructions and promised to call me later. Once we were at home, Charlie kept me up for another hour, just as Edward told him to. Then I headed upstairs for a much needed nap. I woke up to Edward's promised phone call. We argued for a while about whether or not I was going to the girls' recital tonight. Edward thought I should stay home and I refused to miss the recital or let the girls down. Eventually, I told Edward he could pick me up or I could drive myself. Of course, the battle was won by me. My head was pounding too hard to do any work, so I spent most of the day in bed and then took a shower just before Edward was supposed to pick me up.

Tonight was kind of like mine and Edward's coming out as a couple to his family. I wanted to look nice, even though they already knew what I looked like. There was just something about being the girlfriend now that made me want to look nicer. Since I was no fashion guru, I went with an outfit Alice had gotten me.

After pulling on the super tight black leggings, I slipped on the burgundy colored, long cowl-neck sweater that thankfully covered my butt. Nobody had a butt that could look good in pants that tight. I wrapped the wide, black belt around my waist and pulled on my knee high black boots. Feeling a little awkward because this wasn't something I would normally wear, I found the mirror for reassurance. Seeing my reflection, I smiled –I looked good. I definitely looked like a girl that could be Edward's girlfriend. After applying a little bit of makeup, I let my hair dry with its natural wave.

With a little time to spare before Edward arrived, I sat down and did my online check-in for my flight to L.A. tomorrow, printed out my boarding pass, and then tucked it into my purse. The doorbell rang and I grabbed my black leather jacket and ran downstairs.

When I opened the door, Edward and I were both frozen in a trance. The two of us stood eyeing the other and not very discreetly. His eyes trailed up and down my body in appreciation, and I did the same. Edward looked like he stepped out of a GQ magazine. He wore a charcoal gray, button-up dress shirt tucked into some black slacks, with his sleeves rolled up to the middle of his forearms. His clothes fit him perfectly, as if they were made just for his body. Not loose but not tight, just deliciously perfect. The smell of him hit me like a wall; he was sending all of my senses in over drive. I could see him, smell him, and I needed to touch him.

"You look…" he pulled one of his hands from his pocket and started rubbing the back of his neck, looking me over one more time. I immediately felt self conscious and started to blush. "You look, hot." Edward crossed the doorway and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me against his body.

"Thank you, you don't look so bad yourself."

Edward gave me his sexy crooked smile and leaned down, pulling me towards him by the neck. His lips grazed mine for far too short a time before his eyes darted to my forehead and his fingers brushed over my wound. "How do you feel?"

"I feel great, let's go." I wanted to leave before he and Charlie tag teamed me about how I should just be resting.

Edward helped me into the car and I had to move the two flower bouquets he had for Emma and Mia – he was such a good uncle. We spent the drive talking about his day at work and what I'd done that day.

We arrived at the recital and sat with the rest of the family, taking up an entire row. The girl's performance was adorable. It was kind of torture sitting and watching the other performances when I really just wanted to see Mia and Emma.

They did a fabulous job and all of the Cullen's leapt up in a standing ovation at the end of their performance. Emmett's loud hooting was a little embarrassing, but it made the girls smile. It was a mad house after the performance with all of the kids trying to find their families and everyone taking pictures so we all agreed to meet at the restaurant.

Edward needed to get some gas on the way to the restaurant, so we were the last to arrive at the Kalaloch Lodge. As we climbed the steps to the entrance, butterflies filled my stomach. I wondered if anything would change now that Edward and I were together. Edward pulled the door open and placed his hand on the small of my back as I walked through the cabin-like entrance to the restaurant. Once inside, Edward dropped his hand from my back and laced his fingers with mine. I was embarrassed because I was sure he felt my sweaty palms.

Edward leaned in slightly and whispered, "Bella, relax, they already love you." I smiled and, as usual, Edward's reassurance calmed me right down.

We didn't get far into the restaurant before spotting our large group. The girls spotted us first and came running. "Uncle Edward, Aunt Bella," they squealed as they slammed into our bodies, wrapping their arms around our waists. Edward squatted down and gave the girls the flowers he had bought them, praising their performance. Isabel came tinkering along and I pulled her up into my arms.

"Hi, sweet girl," I cooed as Isabel nuzzled into my neck.

"Come on all you beautiful girls, let's go sit down," Edward said as he guided the girls toward the rest of the group. The girls ran ahead with their little tutus floating around them, anxious to show their mom their flowers.

Edward and I walked around the table kissing and hugging everyone hello. It definitely did not go unnoticed to the group that Edward never released my hand. Alice was barely able to contain her excitement as she practically bounced in her seat. Esme held a warming smile and hugged me tighter than she ever had, and said, "Oh, Bella, I couldn't be happier." Rose hugged and winked at me. The men gave me their usual hugs but gave Edward knowing smiles.

Everyone sat around the long wooden table that looked like it weighed a thousand pounds. There were several different conversations going while we ordered and waited for our food. Once dinner came, it was fairly silent as we all ate. The girls begged Grandpa Carlisle to buy them ice cream , which he couldn't resist, and received a half glare from Rose.

Emmett cleared his throat and looked right over at Edward and I. "Well, I guess I'm the only one willing to embarrass you two. Are you guys dating or just fooling around?"

"Nice, Emmett," Jasper mumbled as he took a drink of water.

"Emmett," Esme chastised from the other end of the table.

Rosalie smacked him on the back of the head.

"What, you know you all want to know too," he retorted rubbing the back of his head.

Edward interrupted and announced, "Yup, Bella finally gave into my charm. I knew she couldn't resist for long once I kissed her." Emmett let out a roar of laughter and many snickers went around the table. I elbowed Edward in the ribs and he leaned over and kissed my cheek. I wanted to laugh at how much he and Emmett reverted back to acting like teenagers when they were together.

"Maybe now Edward will be in a better mood since he won't be the seventh wheel anymore," Emmett chuckled.

Now it was my turn to play the game. "Well, at least until I get sick of him." Everyone started to laugh, including Edward.

Jasper pointed a finger at me with a congratulatory smile. "That's our girl. You're already one of us."

"Yes she is," Edward whispered as he kissed me on the temple, pulling me further into his side.

The rest of the evening was spent listening to all of the conversations between the Cullen family members. They were truly an amazing family and I felt so lucky to be a part of their circle. Sitting at the table was the mom I'd wished I always had, my best friend, my protector, my favorite children in the whole world, and my boyfriend. Wow, saying Edward was my boyfriend still made me giddy inside.

Edward leaned over to my ear and asked, "You ready to get out of here?" I nodded my head and he squeezed my shoulder.

"Well we're going to head out, Bella leaves for L.A. in the morning." Edward announced standing from his chair and pulling out my chair for me.

"Have a safe trip Bella," Carlisle said resting his elbows on the table.

"Thank you, Carlisle."

"I hope everything goes well, Bella." Esme said rubbing my arm before pulling me in for a hug.

"Don't tell her that. I hope it goes horrible and they fire you." Everyone's heads whipped toward Alice with an evil glare. "What? I want her back here." I couldn't help but smile as I rolled my eyes at my best friend. You've got to love her persistence.

Edward and I said our good-byes and made a quick exit.

We walked out to the car in silence, Edward's hand wrapped around mine. When we made it to the car, Edward turned me around and held onto my face with both of his strong hands. Edward's eyes bored into mine full of love and then suddenly he was kissing me. I hooked my fingers through his belt loops as he walked me backward until my body was pressed up against the car. The kiss was full of passion and it was over much sooner than I wanted it to be.

Edward pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. "Did you think about what I said last night?"

"Yeah… I don't know what I'm going to do." My hand slid up to his neck and I rubbed my fingers up and down the side of his neck letting my thumb stroke over his cheek. "I have to go tomorrow and hear what they say before I make a final decision."

Edward squeezed his eyes shut and he pulled slightly away when his eyes met mine. My heart ached, wanting to take away the pain I saw. "Don't leave me, Bella. Just stay with me. Please."

"I have to go tomorrow, they are still my employer and I have a responsibility to be at that meeting tomorrow afternoon."

"Can I take you to the airport tomorrow?"

I shook my head. "No, you have to work. Charlie's going to take me."

Edward pulled me closer and rested his chin on my shoulder and we just stood in each other's arms silently for a couple of minutes. Then Edward asked me a question that both excited and scared me at the same time. "Stay with me tonight?" He pleaded.

A huge part of me wanted to say yes and jump in his car and go straight to his house. The logical part of me knew I needed to go home and get ready for my trip in the morning. Plus I was scared for the inevitable conversation we would have to have about my virginity and I wanted to put that off as long as possible.

"I can't. I need to pack and get some sleep. I have to leave early in the morning." Edward's face fell and I immediately felt guilty. "Don't look at me like that. You know I want to be with you as much as possible, I just didn't get a chance to pack today after the whole fiasco this morning."

"Can I call you while you're in L.A.?"

"You better," I said as I pulled his face towards mine and kissed him. We stood up against the car making out for a long time until we heard Emmett yell across the parking lot.

"I thought you two needed to get home?"

We pulled apart and grinned at each other. Edward opened my door and helped me into the car without acknowledging his big brother.

It felt like forever ago that Edward and I sat in his car making out like teenagers, when in actuality it was only last night. I kept replaying it in my head as I sat in the conference room at Random House waiting for our meeting to start. When Edward took me home last night, we talked for an hour and then we made out for an hour. Every minute I spent with Edward either talking to him or kissing him, I felt that much more confident that Edward really loved me, as I loved him.

Leaving him last night, knowing I wouldn't see him for a few days, made my heart feel heavy. I packed my bags with tears streaming down my face and fell asleep the same way. Charlie respected my silence on the way to the airport and I was grateful for it. The plane ride was enlightening. With my iPod in my ears and all of my favorite songs playing, I closed my eyes and started going through all of the pros and cons of L.A. and Forks. I came to the realization that the only thing for me in L.A. was a job. I wasn't happy there before and I definitely wouldn't be happy there now. But could I really be _that_ girl? The girl that gets a boyfriend and drops everything that mattered before he came along? I mean, what was I going to do? Quit my job and sit around the house waiting for Edward to get off work every day? I had a masters degree. What was I going to do, work at the Thrift Mart?

My brain had been reeling all day wondering what I could do. I had done my time and that was why Random House allowed me to work from Forks. I wasn't confident another publishing company would let me have the same freedom as a new employee. My brain was literally hurting from trying to find a balanced resolution. The bottom line was that I didn't think I could live without Edward again.

"Bella?" I was pulled from my thoughts by a sweet voice.

"Angela, how are you?" Angela was one of the only friends I had in L.A. She was a genuinely good person and was always there for me whenever I would let her inside my head.

Angela pulled out the seat next to me and sat down. "I'm great," she said holding out her hand, flashing me a rock of a diamond on her third left finger.

"Oh my gosh! When did you and Ben get engaged?"

Angela then proceeded to tell me all about the proposal and wedding plans. While she filled me in, I couldn't help but think of how much she reminded me of Alice. So maybe that was why we got along so well. She filled my Alice void. She asked me all about Forks and I told her all about James and the promotion. She was completely excited about me coming back to L.A. and then I told her all about Edward. Her jaw dropped to the ground.

"Edward was that guy that was here with you when you moved, right?" I nodded my head. "Bella, he's hot. You have one hell of a decision to make."

"What should I do?"

"Bella, do you remember what you told me your dream was?"

I squinted my eyes, trying to remember what she was talking about.

"You once told me that one day you wanted to write your own book and not edit other people's books." I nodded. "Why haven't you done it?"

"I don't know"

"Well, maybe if this job isn't working out with what makes you happy, maybe you could give that a try because you can do that anywhere. Forget everyone else and everything else. What is going to make you happy? Decide what that is and then everything else will work itself out." I reached over and pulled Angela into a hug.

"Thank you, you always know the right thing to say."

"No problem, I need to run – I have a meeting to get to. Call me, and you better come back for my wedding."

"I will." Angela left the office as my boss walked in.

"Bella, I hope I didn't keep you waiting." Aro's voice rang through the room; when he spoke, it was almost musical – not in a comforting way.

"Nope, I've just been catching up with Angela. How are you doing Aro?"

"I've been better. I sure don't like this business that James is pulling with you. Hopefully, the police will get it resolved and we will get to have you back here with us, once you accept our offer." I returned his smile and started twirling my pen in my hand.

"Oh, here come Marcus and Caius. Now we can get started." I turned toward the glass wall that separated the conference room from the other offices and saw the other to managers heading in our direction. The three brothers that ran the office were always so creepy to me; they looked way too old to still be working, their skin looked like parchment, they all had crystal blue eyes, their hands were always cold and clammy, and whenever they looked at you, it felt like they were looking into your thoughts. They were very kind and professional, but also very eerie.

We all said our formalities and Aro handed out some paperwork to all of us. Aro proceeded to inform me of the promotion they were offering me as Managing Editor. He told me what my new responsibilities would be, who I would oversee, what my new salary would be, and, of course, made mention of the dreaded move back to L.A. that I would need to make. I took notes as he spoke, giving an occasional head nod and smile, while Caius and Marcus threw in some information they felt Aro had neglected. I asked a few questions I had and then asked if I could give them my answer at Monday's staff meeting. They said they would need the decision before then so that they could announce it during the meeting if I would be accepting. I agreed to let them know then I shook their hands, thanking them for the opportunity and left.

On my way to my hotel, I grabbed some In N Out, one of the places I had missed while in Forks. Once I was in my hotel room, I stripped off my work clothes, slipped on a pair of yoga pants and a tank top, crawled into the bed, flipped on an old episode of Sex in the City, and then grabbed my double-double and fries. After I quickly devoured my food, I laid back on my pillow feeling totally bloated.

My mind pulled back to what I was going to do about this job promotion. I had basically already decided I couldn't live without Edward. I had to be where he was. I just didn't know what to do about employment. I wondered if they would let me keep working with the northwest clients – excluding James –, if I declined the promotion. I also started giving a lot of thought about what Angela said about writing a book. I ran all of the different scenarios in my mind and was grateful I had two more days to figure it out. I really just wished Edward had been here with me.

_Ring, Ring, Ring._

The ring of my phone forced me from my dreadful thoughts and I jumped out of bed to grab my phone from the dresser. I looked at the caller ID and grinned.

_Just the man I was thinking of._

"Hey," I answered.

"I miss you already."

"Me too, are you just getting off work, it's kind of late."

"No, I've been off work for a couple of hours. I just had to take care of some stuff before I called you. How did your meeting go?" I couldn't ignore the disappointment that he hadn't called me right after work. I knew I was being ridiculous.

"It was fine, I guess. They want to promote me to Managing –" there was a knock at my door. "Can you hang on a second, there's someone at my door?"

"Sure." Edward started to chuckle into the phone.

"What?"

Edward's voice sobered up, "Nothing."

Dropping the phone at my side, I stood on my tiptoes to look out the peep hole and I screamed. I tried desperately to get the door open but I kept forgetting to undo a lock. Finally, I got the door open and I leapt into Edward's arms wrapping mine around his neck and my legs around his waist. I kissed his face as if I couldn't get enough of him. I just saw him last night but he just felt so far away and I felt so alone, I couldn't have been more excited to have him here.

"Hi, Babe," he said between kisses. "I couldn't stay away." Holding onto my waist with one hand, he reached down with the other and grabbed his bag and then walked us into my room.

"I'm glad you didn't. I wanted you here with me so bad." He smiled and dropped me down to my feet. He closed the door and locked it. I hate to interrupt this moment, but I really need to use the restroom.

"Fair enough, I've done that to us before. Are you hungry? Do you want me to order you some food?"

"Nah, I grabbed some In N Out by the airport." I started to laugh as he walked toward the bathroom. "What's so funny?"

"That's what I had too." He gave me is adorable crooked smile and disappeared into the bathroom.

As soon as the door clicked shut, I ran to my bag and grabbed my bra and threw it on as quickly as possible. Then I took a quick look in the mirror and ran my fingers through my hair. I grabbed my food remains off the bed and threw them into a trash can. I heard the bathroom door click open and I jumped onto the foot of the bed sitting cross legged, trying to look casual.

Edward rounded the corner and I literally felt my breath being taken away just at the sight of this beautiful creature. I couldn't believe he was mine. He smiled at me when he caught me ogling him. In one quick movement, Edward grabbed me around the waist and slid me up the bed, laying me down on my back as he hovered above me.

"I love you, Isabella Swan." His voice and his face held so much conviction that I knew what he was saying was true, and my decision was made.

"Edward, I've loved you all of my life and never thought I would ever have you. Now that I do, I know that I can't ever let you go. This one day away from you has been pure hell. We have spent days apart, but I always knew you would be there if I needed you. Tonight, sitting here in this lonely hotel room, knowing how far away you were, made me feel empty and alone and I never want to feel that way again."

"So don't. Stay with me, Bella," he whispered against my lips.

"Okay –"was all I was able to get out before his lips enveloped mine.

Edward's kiss was different tonight. They were just as intense as they usually were, but he was slower, gentler, and more careful. I slid my fingers into his hair at the base of his neck, as Edward rolled us over onto our sides. He ran his fingers down my side and pulled my thigh up over his. Using my leg, I pulled him in closer to me. He kissed my cheek, my forehead, the side of my eye, and my lips one more time before looking at me.

"Did you already tell them you quit?"

"No, and I don't know if I'm going to." Edward's eyebrows pulled together and he looked thoroughly confused. "I'm going to see if they will let me continue to work from Forks, I was also thinking about writing my own fiction." My eyes darted away from Edward's, kind of embarrassed telling anyone I thought about writing my own book.

Edward pulled my face back towards his, keeping his hand resting on my cheek. "I think that is a brilliant plan. I bet you'll be a brilliant writer. Bella, don't give up your job for me, if you really want it. I couldn't bare it if you were unhappy with me in Forks because I took away your goals and dreams. Are you sure this is what you want?"

"I'm sure. You're what I want." He gave me a beaming smile and went right back to kissing me again.

Edward's kisses were more needful this time. He was aggressive and strong as his lips took over mine. I was more than willing to follow his lead. Edward's kisses were an obvious reflection of his emotions. Right now, I could tell he was trying to express how much he wanted me through his actions. His hands began to wander over my body and I felt my heart rate increase at an unbearable speed. My mind started to debate if and when I was going to slow this down.

Edward's hands on my body felt so good physically but emotionally I was not ready to take us to the next level so fast. I knew if I stopped him, I would have to explain why and, I doubted any woman had ever told him to slow down. I wasn't sure what I was going to say. I felt Edward's hand slide up my tank top and his thumb brush the bottom of my bra, and without thought, I sat up in the bed.

Within a second, Edward was sitting up right beside me. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" I nodded my head at him and I felt his hand start rubbing circles on my back. "Did I do something?"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. Edward, there's something I have to tell you."

"Okay," he said as he placed soft kisses on my bare shoulder.

"Edward, I… I've never… oh my gosh, why is this so embarrassing?"

"Hey, you can tell me anything." Edward turned my body so that we were facing each other and he held my hands in his. He looked into my eyes, letting me know I had his attention.

"Edward, I've never been with a man." I could tell by his confused expression he had no clue what I meant. "What you and I do intimately is as far as I have ever gone." Edwards jaw dropped open – he was speechless. I sat patiently, waiting for him to respond. Did he think I was crazy? I mean, how many twenty-eight year old virgins are there anymore?

"Are you telling me that you're um… you've never had…" Embarrassed wasn't even close to the humiliation I was currently feeling. I felt my body temperature increase at a fast speed. A lump was building in my throat. Why? Why did I have to be so inexperienced? "Bella, you're a virgin?!"

**Author Notes:**

So, what do you think Edward's reaction will be to Bella's confession?

I am going out of town this weekend for a girl's weekend, with no kids. (I'm doing the happy dance, right now.) So I may not be able to respond to all of your reviews like I normally do, but I will do my best.

Okay, spoiled readers, you've gotten three chapters in two weeks. You would normally just be getting your second. I hurried to update before my trip, so I think you should review for me ;)


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Notes:**

Not mine, wish it was!

Lynelle, Angie, I love you both big time. If you haven't read The Fan or Shadows by Pears, DO IT!

Sorry this chapter took forever, major writers block. That's my only excuse.

Alright make your dentist appointments, this chapter is so sweet I almost made myself throw-up. But, I know you have been waiting for more fluff.

**Chapter 26**

**Me and Bella**

"Bella, you're a virgin?!" I gasped in shock. The moment the words escaped my lips, I immediately felt regret. Alice was right; I really needed to work on my filter. Bella's big brown eyes, that constantly captivated me, were wide open as she penetrated my gaze. I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to say at that point in the conversation. Should I congratulate her, offer to help her out with the situation, tell her it's normal? I hoped she didn't think that I would think less of her; in fact, I saw nothing wrong with the fact she had never been with another man. If I was being completely honest, I loved the fact that another man had not consumed her. All I really wanted to do at this point was take her in my arms and claim her as _only _mine. The moment of silence while I processed this new information was long enough for Bella's eyes to fill with tears and for her face to drop from mine.

_You need to speak up Cullen, you're hurting her feelings_.

My hand slid around the base of her neck and my other wrapped around her thigh, pulling her body into my lap. Then her tears began to fall and a sob escaped her mouth.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted that way. You just caught me off guard." My arms slid around her waist and I pulled her firmly against my chest. Burying her face into my neck, Bella wrapped her arms around me. "I'm sorry if you felt like I was pushing you or crossing a line."

Bella's head shook side to side, her tears wiping against my skin. "It's not your fault. How could you have known that you were dating the only twenty-eight year old virgin? _I'm_ sorry."

Cupping Bella's face in my hands, I pulled her back to look at me. "Don't you dare apologize to me for being who you are. I love _you—_ all of you— the way you are."

"I just feel so inadequate this way. I feel like I won't be able to meet your needs or expectations –"

"Bella, how can you think that way? You meet my needs in a way no other person on this earth can or ever will. Anybody can have sex, but not many people get to experience what we have."

A small smile tugged at the corner of Bella's mouth. "And what is it that we have, Edward?"

"We have a connection that goes beyond anything physical. You reach my soul, Bella. My whole body ignites when you are in my arms. I can talk to you about anything, and I can be who I really am and I know you won't judge me. You have become my best friend. You truly are my soul mate, and I don't know what I've done all of my life without you. We don't need all of the physical to be fully happy with each other, that's just icing on the cake. And, Bella, when you are ready and we decide to be together, I know that it will be the greatest physical experience of my life. Because for the first time in my life, I will make love to someone that I have a connection with beyond anything I could have imagined, and not just have sex with them."

Tears trickled from Bella's eyes and I pulled her into my arms and she pulled me into an even tighter embrace. Bella scooted off my lap and pulled on my shoulders, lying me down next to her. We lay in silence for a while, both lost in our own thoughts. Bella's head on my chest, my arms wrapped lovingly around her, and our legs intertwined.

Bella broke the silence as she pulled herself up onto her forearms. "It's your fault you know," she said, giving me the cutest smirk.

"What is?"

"That I'm still holding onto my V-card."

"Really? I am so powerful, how did I manage that?" I laughed.

Bella smiled back and then her face became somber. "I spent all of my teenage and college years comparing every man to you. When they never measured up, I would run away after a couple of dates."

Bella's eyes dropped to her hands and I could sense her embarrassment. It hit me in that moment, the magnitude of time that Bella has actually cared for me. How could she have cared about me so much, when I never gave her the time of day? How had I been so blind to what an amazing woman had been here the entire time? The thought of all the men who had probably wanted Bella, and couldn't have her because of me, made my chest expand a little. Yes, I forgot about Bella's feelings for a moment to bask in my own glory. Then a question popped into my head.

"Bella, do you… are you going to…" I stuttered out.

"Yes, Edward, I plan on having sex… with you. It's just… well… I've waited so long for… _you_. At this point, I've waited so long that I don't want to rush into anything. I want to enjoy where our relationship is going. I want to enjoy going out on dates with you. I want to continue to be silly with you. I want to have more stimulating conversations. I want more arousing runs with lots of teasing between us, without looking over our shoulders for James. I want to enjoy holding hands with you in public, and making out with you in corners of stores like giddy teenagers. I want a beautiful proposal and wedding that fits just us! I want the entire experience that finally leads up to making love to you. Like you said Edward, it will be the greatest physical act that I will experience as well."

I had to work to shove down the feeling that my body might spontaneously combust if I didn't have her, now, in every way possible. Why was I being such a jerk? Looking into Bella's eyes, I realized how scared she must be and how big of a deal this was to her. Heck, this was a big deal to me! Not only had Bella waited to have sex, but she waited because of me; for me. My chest constricted as I realized the responsibility on my shoulders to make Bella feel good, desired, loved, and worshipped. The erratic beating in my chest wasn't only fear, but also joy that Bella wanted to be with me in the same ways that I most wanted to be with her. Making love to Bella would be so much more and not because I would be her first, but because I loved her. No matter how long we waited, it would be well worth it.

"What, Edward?" Bella asked as she locked her eyes with mine.

My eyes never left hers as I rolled Bella onto her back and leaned over her beautiful body. My fingers slid to her hair, tucking it behind her ear. "I'm glad we had this talk. I want you to know that I'm not going to push anything with you. I'm willing to wait with you, until the time is right for _us_."

An enormous grin spread across her face and she captured my lips with hers. Holding Bella in my arms and kissing her this way made me soar. I knew that this would be enough… for now.

Bella and I spent the next while making out like a couple of teenagers. I didn't possess the will power that Bella did so I had to stop our kissing before I got myself too worked up. Reluctantly, I dragged myself off of Bella, keeping her captured in my arms. The smile Bella gave me let me know that she understood my reasons for stopping. Just when I thought I couldn't love that woman anymore, she would give me a smile and my love would brow beyond what I thought capable.

"I can't believe you came here. How did you get out of work?" She asked stroking the back of my neck

"I finished work by two and got on a six o'clock flight down here. I wasn't working this weekend so it wasn't that hard. I know it seems pathetic, me showing up after only being apart for twenty-four hours, but this whole thing with James makes me nervous when I'm not with you." My hands clutched around her waist tighter, thinking the closer she was to me the safer she would be. "Plus, I have a surprise planned for you tomorrow. I didn't want you bored in a hotel room alone all weekend."

"What is it?" She asked with excitement in her voice.

"No way, it's a surprise. I will tell you it's something I used to do a few times a year while I lived here. It's something I really want to share with you."

"I can't wait." Bella slipped from my arms and stood up. "I'm going to get ready for bed."

I nodded my head towards her as she walked away. My head fell back into the fluffy, white pillow, a loud breath escaping my throat. Once Bella had slipped from my line of vision and I heard the bathroom door click shut, I closed my eyes and let the night's conversations begin to replay in my mind. I could feel the cheesy smile spreading across my face as I thought about how much Bella loved me. My thoughts were broken by the sound of a cell phone vibrating. I grabbed mine from the nightstand and realized I wasn't the one receiving the call. I called out through the bathroom door, "Bella, your cell phone is ringing."

"Can you grab it for me? It's in my purse." I could barely grasp what she said; she was obviously brushing her teeth.

"Sure." I retrieved the phone from her purse as it stopped ringing and I discovered that she had two missed calls. My thumb pressed down on the green button showing me who had called.

In the blink of an eye, my emotions turned to polar opposites of what they had been just minutes ago with Bella in my arms. There on her screen were the last two names I would ever want to see on my girlfriend's phone: Jacob and James! I saw red as my heart rate accelerated at a dangerous speed and my hand curled into a tight fist. James was putting her life in danger and I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. Jacob, I just didn't trust any further than I could throw him, and I wanted to throw him, against a wall preferably. I heard the sink shutting off in the bathroom. Without thinking, I deleted both names from the caller ID and dropped the phone back in her purse. I didn't want her worrying about James this weekend. I just wanted her to relax and be happy. And, Jacob, well I just didn't like the idea of her talking to him. I knew the instant I let go of the phone that I shouldn't have deleted those names.

Bella came out of the bathroom and I had never seen a fully clothed woman look sexier. Bella wore a pale blue pajama pant, and a matching spaghetti strap tank top, with lace across the swell of her breasts. I couldn't take my eyes off her as she put her clothes into her suitcase. I was sure drool was probably escaping my mouth. Bella turned towards me and as much as I tried to convince myself to turn away, I couldn't. Bella looked at me nervously and tugged her tank top up. I wanted to scream 'Noooo,' but instead I think I let out an embarrassing grunt. Bella looked at me from the corner of her eye, and her lips rose into an adorable smile.

"Edward?" She asked gently.

"HmmMmm?"

Her giggle was music to my ears. "Why don't you quit gawking and go get yourself ready so we can get some sleep?" She then proceeded to walk past me, letting her arm graze against mine. "Close your mouth, Sexy."

It sunk into my brain how ridiculous I must've looked just now. I shook my head and turned around, pulling clothes from my suitcase. "Hey, I don't know why you're laughing. I still get to have three more moments of staring at my amazingly beautiful girlfriend before I catch up to the amount of times I've caught you lusting over me." I wiggled my eyebrows and ran to the bathroom as I saw the pillow come flying at me from the bed.

My hand rested on the bathroom door, about to close it, when Bella called to me. "Hey, who called for me earlier?"

My mind instantly reeled, trying to decide what to do. It felt like I was a kid again, stealing the dollar off the kitchen counter. I knew I should confess when mom asked if I saw it. Instead of telling the truth, lying seemed the easy way out. Until that lie turned into two, three, and four lies. At that point I dug a hole so deep I couldn't get out. I knew this would be one of those moments. Do I tell her the truth and ruin her weekend worrying about James? Do I worry about her calling Jacob back and having to sit and listen to her chat with a man I hate, or asking why I would delete his call in the first place? Or, do I lie because she would be better off not knowing?

"Nobody, I thought it was your phone, but it was mine. It was just my mom checking to see if I got here safely."

"Okay."

As soon as the door to the bathroom was shut, I leaned up against it and was instantly filled with guilt.

I'd managed to rest that guilt on the back burner as I spent the rest of the night and next morning talking with Bella in my arms. Laying in the dark in a strange place somehow made it easier to talk about anything and everything. Every time I was with Bella, I learned more and more about her and my love would multiply.

Of course she wasn't speaking to me now. Bella hated surprises and was refusing to talk to me because I wouldn't tell her where we were going. She sat with her arms folded across her chest and her hair whipping in the wind as we drove up the Pacific Coast Highway. Whenever I caught her glaring out the front window, laughter would erupt within me. That, in turn, would win me a glare from the girl who thought she was ferocious.

Black Eyed Peas sounded through the car speakers, and excitement immediately surged through me. Here was my chance to make her laugh. I reached over and turned up the music as loud as I could stand. I started bouncing in my seat to the beat of the music and I saw the corner of her mouth twitch and then watched as she pulled her lips together tightly. With that reaction, I knew it would be easy to get her to get rid of her irritable mood. Then, at the top of my lungs, I started singing. "I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good good night." I leaned over as close to her face as I [possible "Tonight's the night, let's live it up, I got my money, let's spend it up."

"You're such a dork, and you might be tone deaf." She could barely get the words out she was giggling so hard.

I started to laugh too as I turned the radio back down. "Hey, I got you smiling didn't I? And you're talking to me."

"Oh, please, like I would be able to resist you anyway. Why won't you just tell me where we're going? Are we just going to drive up the coast?"

"For about five more minutes, we're almost there."

I watched her as she desperately searched signs of where we would be going. A few minutes later, I turned off the highway.

"Thornhill Broome State Beach? We passed like a million beaches, why this one?"

"Trust me, Bella. I would only plan something great for you," I said running my hand over her knee. I pulled up to our campsite that sat right on the sand.

"We're camping on the beach? But how did you do this? I don't have a bathing suit? We don't have any food? How are we going to—"she started throwing out a ton of panicky questions.

"Bella, I've got it all taken care of. That tent right there on the sand? That's ours. See that camping stove, cooler, and box on the picnic bench? That's ours too. In the tent are sleeping bags, pillows, a lantern, and your clothes that Alice packed for me."

"But how did you do this?"

"Alice and some of my old buddies from school did me a favor." I opened my door and jumped out, and Bella followed.

"I didn't know you could actually camp on the sand."

"You sure can. I used to come here a couple times a year while I was in school. There's nothing better than falling asleep staring at a million stars, a giant moon, and the sound of waves lulling you to sleep."

Bella wrapped her arms around my waist and kissed me. "This will be perfect. Thank you."

"You're welcome, now go put on that bikini Alice made you and help me build a wicked sand castle." Bella stood up on her toes and kissed me again, then turned and ran for the tent.

Bella and I spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying the beach. We made a horrible excuse of a sand castle that got washed away as the tide came in. We waded in the frigid water for a while, and then lay on some towels under the sun, talking. When evening kicked in, we headed for some tide pools further down the beach. I was impressed how easily Bella picked up all of the sea life; most girls were so squeamish with all of the slimy creatures. She even picked up a little octopus. She got a little nervous when she couldn't peel it from her hand, but I, of course, rescued her. For dinner, I introduced Bella to the wonderful world of hobo pies, which was a Cullen Family camping tradition. She was reluctant to try them but, of course, I delivered and she loved them. My favorite part of the day was sitting close to the surf, with Bella in my arms, while we watched the sun set.

Bella leaned further into my chest as she sat between my legs. "This is beautiful, Edward. I keep asking myself if this is really happening. Having you is fairytale enough, but you keep making it more and more dream like."

My arms wrapped further around her and a wide grin spread across my face. I was grateful this all meant as much to her as it did to me. "Bella, I've done this probably a hundred times and it has never been as beautiful to me as it is having you in my arms."

Bella tilted her head back and kissed the side of my neck. "Are you getting mushy on me, Cullen?"

"Yeah, for some reason you bring out the wuss side in me. We have to stop now before I humiliate myself." I could feel her body shake with laughter against my chest.

"I want a treat. Do we have any?"

"Yes, and I am hoping I packed the right thing. I know the standard camping treats are s'mores, but if I remember right, there is something you like more."

"What?"

I leaned down, my lips nearly on her ear. "I believe there is a package of double stuffed Oreos up there waiting for you."

Bella squealed as she leapt up. "I love that you know me. Now get up and let's go eat a whole package of Oreo's, and not feel guilty." As I watched the excitement in Bella's face and her racing up to the awaiting chocolate, a memory of a young Bella flashed back into my mind.

_Bella and I were juniors in high school and we were on the bus ride home from a track meet. Bella sat slumped in her seat across from me, her knees pressed up against the seat in front of her, her earphones blaring in her ears, and inhaling a bag of Oreo's. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and looked up as Bella pulled her sweatshirt over her head. As she pulled the sweatshirt up, her t-shirt pulled up with it and I saw her bare stomach and back. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She quickly dropped the sweatshirt and pulled her shirt down. Her eyes looked over and she caught me staring at her. Bella and I locked eyes for a second and then she glared at me. I huffed at her, making a face and then turned away, acting as if she were a pest. But, I remember spending the rest of the day thinking about Bella and her bare stomach._

A smile escaped my mouth as I realized I had noticed Bella growing up; she was just untouchable to me, so I never dwelled on it.

I scurried towards the beach, caught her and lifted her into my arms as we headed for her treats. I built a fire, she and I snuggled into our beach chairs, and then consumed way too much sugar.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?" She asked with a mouth full.

"Will you be my date to Alice and Jasper's wedding?"

"I have to be there anyway, I'm part of the wedding party."

Scrunching my eyebrows together, I looked at her. "Yeah, but I want to be the only name on your dance card. I also think it might be a good idea if we hold hands and make out in front of everyone."

Bella started to laugh, shaking her head. "All right, I'll be your date to their wedding, if you'll be mine to my dad's."

Oreo spattered from my mouth and Bella erupted into hysterics. "What, Charlie's getting married!?"

"Yup, he told me he's going to purpose to her over Thanksgiving. They're going to visit her kids. He wants to ask them for their permission and then he's going to propose."

"What do you think about that? Ugh, Charlie is having sex." I tried to shake the image from my brain. "Is it weird your dad is going to get married after all this time?" I shifted in my chair to get a better look at Bella's face. She looked even lovelier by firelight.

"I want him to be happy. If Sue makes him happy, then it's what I want," she answered very robotic.

"Is that what you told Charlie?" She nodded her head. "That's a very good daughter answer." Her eyes darted to mine, angry that I would accuse her of not being happy for her dad. I put up my hands defensively. "I'm not saying you aren't happy for him. I just want to understand your feelings about the _entire _situation. Talk to me." I reached over and engulfed her tiny hand in mine.

"I'm happy for him and I do love Sue. She is so good for him and they'll be really good together."

"But?"

"But, I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't want to live with them. I'm not going to move in with Alice and Jasper even though they offered; it would be awkward living with newlyweds—"

"Move in with me," I interrupted before realizing what I was saying.

"Ha-ha- ha, you're funny." She didn't even consider it; she thought it was a joke.

"I'm serious, Bella." Her panicked eyes darted towards mine.

"Edward… we just… I want to wait until… I don't think you've thought this through," she stuttered out.

"You're right, I didn't think it through, but I think it sounds perfect." I spoke the honest truth. The thought had never occurred to me, to take our relationship to the next level. I had never lived with any woman, never even thought about it. But my heart apparently knew better than my logic because the moment the suggestion slipped from my mouth, I felt my heart accelerate with anticipation. My knee started to bounce, hoping she would say yes. I thought about how wonderful it would be to come home to her everyday, lay talking to each other until we fall asleep, waking up with her in my arms, and laying around on a lazy Sunday, fighting over the remote.

_Please say yes!_

Bella stared at me stunned. Her big brown eyes were wide, her mouth slightly agape, and her arms were wrapped tightly around her stomach. "Edward, while I couldn't be more thrilled and excited that you would even ask me that…" she stood from her chair and walked over and nestled herself in my lap. "I'm not going to live with a man until I'm married."

"Oh, well that's coming… soon," I stated very matter-of-factly.

An elated smile spread across her face and I could see her desperately trying to contain it. "Really, could you tell me who he is? I want to make sure I look good when I meet him." She sat erect in my lap looking around, as if someone were going to come and take her away from me.

"You're hilarious," I complimented facetiously. I grabbed onto the sides of her waist and started tickling her. She tried to escape, but I wouldn't let her go.

Between broken giggles, she gasped, "Let me go."

I wrapped my arm tighter around her waist and continued my assault. She writhed and twisted underneath me trying to get away, but to no avail. She eventually squirmed her way around until she was facing me, straddling my lap. Before I knew how I had lost the control, she was kissing me, and without thought, my arms ceased their attack and wrapped around her waist pulling her up against my chest. Bella held onto my neck with both hands and kissed me more aggressively than she ever had before. Her hands slid down to my chest and she pushed herself off of me. I stared at her with eager eyes, wondering what she would do next. She stood before me in her cut off jean shorts and hoodie, hands on her hips, and a look of victory.

"Well, guess I have more power than I thought." A look of confusion crossed my face unsure of what she was talking about. "Who knew you could have been so easily distracted and defeated. All I had to do was kiss you and I was in control." She gave me an evil, sexy grin.

Ready to seize her again, I grabbed onto the arms of my chair to help in my attempted launch at her, but she screamed and took off running. "You're done, Swan!" I yelled as I took off running after her.

Of course, I let her run for a while thinking she could escape and then I snatched up my prey. I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her up against my chest. "You're never getting away from me, Bella Swan."

Her eyes were beautiful, as she looked at me with her face aglow in the moonlight. Her stare was suddenly intense and it made my heart stammer in my chest. "Who says I want to get away?" She barely whispered

Without thought my lips were exactly where I wanted them to be— on hers, moving in a perfect synchronized rhythm together. Every contact I had with Bella made me ignite, even the simple things like guiding her by the small of her back, holding her hand, tucking her hair behind her back, whispering in her ear, or the brush of her thigh against mine as we sat next to each other. But her kisses and hands on my body, sent an inferno coursing through me. Any moment I had with her made me happier than I had ever been, but yet I felt like I needed more.

My lips traveled from her mouth, past her jaw, and to her neck. Her skin was covered in goose bumps. I wondered if it was because she reacted to me the same way I do her or if it was from the cold ocean wind. Bella let out a little whimper as I continued to kiss her neck.

Pulling my lips from her neck up to her ear, I whispered "I _am_ going to marry you one day, Bella." Bella immediately tensed in my arms and my heart stopped.

Panic took over. I knew I freaked her out. It was way too soon to tell her I wanted to marry her. But, with everything going on with James, it made me realize I could never live without Bella. I wanted her to be mine forever. I wanted her in my arms always, where I could keep her safe. It felt so right to me and like everything else that escaped my mouth today, I just said what I felt, not thinking about what reaction Bella would have.

I kept her in my arms with her head tucked beneath my chin. Yes, I was too chicken to look at her and see her petrified face. Her body slowly started to relax in my arms and I stayed frozen, waiting to see what she would say, or do, after my way too forward announcement. The seconds passed in slow motion, the wind whipping her hair around and sending shivers through the both of us. The only sounds were the crashing waves behind me and distant laughter of other campers. What felt like an hour had only been seconds, and then Bella tried to pull away from my hold on her. I wondered if she was going to try and run screaming from the psycho that says he's going to marry her after only officially dating a week.

I couldn't delay looking at her anymore. I could feel her doe eyes looking up at me and I forced my gaze down toward hers. What I saw before me caused my heart to clench. Tears streamed down her face, yet she was glowing. I stared back at her, searching her eyes to know what she was feeling. My hands dragged from the crown of her head, over her soft brown waves, to the middle of her back, then slid back up under her hair to wrap around the side of her neck. Her eyes fell closed as she leaned into my hand. I dropped my forehead down to rest against hers and I brushed my lips against hers.

Bella's eyes opened and I was suddenly entranced by her. I was consumed and I felt as if a conversation was taking place between us as we stared into each other's eyes; a conversation between two souls, one that could not transpire with words or actions. More tears escaped Bella's eyes and I brushed them away with my thumb, never taking my eyes from hers. My cheek twitched as I felt Bella's tiny, soft thumb brush against my skin, wiping away a tear I hadn't realized escaped me.

I was overcome with the feelings coursing through me, feelings that I had never experienced before. Throughout our lives, we feel ties to other people, ties that have the potential to be broken. Like strings that keep us united together but could easily be snipped away, allowing us to float away from the other person. But, what I was feeling in that moment with Bella, didn't feel like a string. It felt like a steel cable was binding me to Bella, an unbreakable cable that would connect me to her for eternity. I could feel the warmth of the blood coursing through my body, my heart so full I could feel it straining against my rib cage, and my hands trembling as I embraced Bella.

"Do you feel that?" Bella whispered, still never taking her eyes from mine and resting her hand over my chest, where my heart lie.

The lump in my throat doubled in size as I heard her words, knowing that what I was feeling wasn't one sided. I couldn't speak without sounding like a baby so I just nodded.

Both of Bella's hands held onto the sides of my face. "You're more experienced than me in this area than I am. Is this always how it feels to fall in love? I feel like I've missed out all of my life, if this is what love is."

My head shook slightly and I cleared my throat. "No. No, Bella, this is not how it feels when you fall in love. Falling in love before this was like a grain of salt compared to what's transpiring between us. What I'm feeling now… here with you… this is beyond anything I could ever have comprehended."

"I can never lose you, Edward. I wouldn't survive it." We both still spoke in whispered tones, scared that if we spoke too loudly it would pop the bubble that surrounded us.

"Never! I meant what I said, Bella, I'm going to marry you."

"Promise?"

"I'm begging."

Bella's hold on me tightened and she captured my lips with hers. The kiss felt powerful and consuming, but yet, the actual act was gentle and slow. I felt another tear escape the corner of my eye.

_When did I become such a woman?_

Bella shivered in my arms. "Let's go to bed." I nodded my head and led her to the tent.

Once the zipper to the tent opened, the atmosphere lightened, it was as if that sacred moment had ended.

We grabbed our stuff and trucked through the sand to the bathrooms and water spicket to get ready for bed. I carried Bella on my back as we walked back to the tent. We got everything put away and pulled out our sleeping bags.

"Hey, do you want to zip our sleeping bags together?"

"I don't know, Edward, can you manage to keep your hands off of me?" She spouted off, looking sexy over her shoulder.

"I'm sure I can control myself," I answered, laughing. "All-though, I can't make any guarantees my body won't react on its own while I'm sleeping." I winked.

"Perv!" She laughed as she started unzipping her sleeping bag."

One of the things I was enjoying most about my relationship with Bella was the fact that our existing relationship didn't change with our declaration of love. We just added to it. Our competitive nature and banter still existed; we just got to add making out and loving words.

Bella laid in my arms as we stared out the top of our tent at the magnificent sky full of stars and a sliver of a moon. We talked for hours; laughing, teasing, sharing memories, filling each other in on the last ten years of our lives, and, of course, the dreaded how many people conversation— how many women I had slept with.

I'd dreaded having this conversation with Bella. I had never considered five a high number of people to have slept with until Bella's confession to me. I was beyond elated when I realized, that if everything went as desired, I would be the only man Bella would ever be with. Then my heart filled with regret, wishing I could offer her the same prize. Of course I couldn't change my past or have predicted what would be, but still I wished I could've offered myself wholly to her.

Bella didn't pass any judgment on me as we talked about my past. She admitted again, to feeling inadequate and afraid of letting me down, but I informed her that she had already surpassed all of my experiences just with her kisses.

The pauses between words became longer as we were lulled by the sound of crashing waves. Finally, Bella's breath became rhythmic as she fell asleep with her head resting on my chest. I followed shortly.

Loud whimpering roused me from a deep sleep, but I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or waking. Suddenly, a loud scream and the loss of Bella in my arms startled me awake. My body bolted upright, immediately grabbing onto Bella's shoulders. Her eyes were closed and she was still crying hysterically with a continual shout of "NO!" broken between her sobs.

"Bella! Bella!" Gently, I shook her shoulders trying to wake her up from what was obviously a nightmare. I pulled her against my chest and began running my fingers through her hair. "Shh, shhh, baby, wake up. You're okay."

Bella's hands wrapped around my back as her fingers dug into my shoulder blades. Her sobs became more controlled and her face buried into the crook of my neck as she became aware of what had happened. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was James." She sucked in a trembling breath and her hands traveled to my neck as I pulled her into my lap. "He had me locked in his house. I could hear you outside and you couldn't get in. James just sat there watching me cry for you with a sadistic smile on his face. Then he walked towards me and…" Her voice began to tremble and she started shaking her head back and forth.

"That won't happen, Bella. I won't let him near you, I promise. It was only a dream."

Keeping Bella in my arms, I laid back down, pulling the sleeping bag over her. I rubbed slow circles on Bella's back, listening to her breathing regulate. With every hiccup as a remnant of her cry, my anger built. I could feel the fire burning and turning into an inferno of rage. I _would kill_ James if he ever laid a hand on Bella.

The next day, neither of us mentioned her nightmare of James. I felt confident in the fact that I made the right choice in deleting James' name from her caller ID. He was no longer a client of hers; she didn't even need his number anymore. I needed to subtly mention to her that she should have his number blocked. We packed up our campsite after breakfast and headed south down PCH. We drove to Santa Monica pier and went on a few rides, kissed at the top of the Ferris Wheel, played some carnival games, took pictures in a photo booth, ate some corn dogs and a funnel cake, and I dragged her to Third Street for some shopping. I needed to pick up some stuff Alice requested, and something for my friends since they all helped pull off the camping trip.

The day was blissful just being with Bella, with nothing to worry about other than enjoying each other. I loved being able to walk hand-in-hand with her. When I kissed her in a crowd for the first time she had tensed up. Her nervousness caused a smile on my face as my lips pressed against hers. But every time I kissed her, she became more and more comfortable with the public display of affection.

We ate dinner at Bella's favorite L.A. restaurant, "Feast from the East", and then we spent the rest of the evening in her hotel room playing cards together. There may have been some arguments, cheating, and wrestling. We were still the same Bella and Edward from high school; both of us doing whatever we could to make sure the other didn't win. It ended with Bella getting mad when I won and throwing all the cards on the floor. Her tantrum reminded me of the day I beat her at our race and she threw a little fit on the porch. I laughed so hard I got a side cramp, which of course only irritated her more.

At one o'clock in the morning, we finally settled into bed watching one of her favorite chick flicks, "Sense and Sensibility". I found it to be complete torture and fell asleep during the first ten minutes.

I was awoken the next morning to Bella gently dragging her fingers along my forearm as she lay with her head on my chest. My arms squeezed around her.

Bella's head tilted up so she could look at me. "I don't want you to go home today. Stay until tomorrow with me," she whined.

"I wish I could. I've got to be at work first thing in the morning."

"Just quit your job like me and we could live off our love." We both started cracking up.

"Ah, I love you, funny girl."

"I love you too," she cooed as she scooted up the bed enough to kiss me.

"Are you going to cry on your big pillow tonight with me gone?"

She nodded her head making puppy dog eyes at me.

"Well, I'll pick you up tomorrow, when do you get in?"

"No, it's fine. I get in during the day and I knew you had to work so I got a ride," she said, _trying_ to sound casual. "So what time do you –"

"Who's picking you up?" I interrupted her, knowing she was trying to hide something from me.

"Uh, Jake."

"What?!" I snapped, sitting up.

"Well, I knew you were working and he offered," she said tucking her hair behind her ear.

"How did he offer? Do you two talk often?" Anger, or was it jealousy, coursed through me as I thought of his missed call Friday.

"Well, yeah, Edward. We're friends."

"Just friends, but you've been hiding it from me," I growled.

"Hey, you need to calm down. I don't need to report every detail of my life to you. Jake has been a good friend to me and I'm not going to quit being friends with him just because you don't like him."

"Don't like him?" I raised my voice. "I don't trust the guy, AT ALL!"

"He knows how I feel about you, and he's with Tanya now." She started to get defensive.

"I don't care. I don't like you hanging out with him."

Bella crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, Edward, that doesn't matter. I don't need your permission to have friends. I'm friends with Jacob and you're going to have to deal with it." She was yelling now, also.

"So, you see no problem with being friends with him?"

"No, I think you're being absolutely ridiculous and jealous."

"No I'm not." I knew I sounded like a child but I couldn't help it.

Bella raised her eyebrows at me.

"Okay, let's turn the tables then. Are you telling me you would be okay if Tanya was picking me up at the airport today and she and I had still been talking on the phone with each other?"

Bella paused and bit into her lower lip. "NO, I wouldn't."

My chest puffed up thinking I had won that battle. "So you get why I don't want you around Black?"

"No."

"Quit being stubborn, Bella," I retorted.

Bella stood from the bed, and I was distracted from my anger for a minute looking at her in her little shorts and tank top. "Edward, it's different," she started to respond while I shook my head vigorously. "I never loved Jacob, I never slept with Jacob, and _I _broke it off with him."

Turning the opposite direction of her, I dropped my legs over the side of the bed and started running my fingers through my hair in frustration. "I don't like it, Bella and I'm asking you to please not associate with him… for me," I uttered in pure frustration. I knew she was right. I completely trusted Bella and I knew she would never cheat on me. But, there was just something about Jacob Black that I absolutely detested. Even if he was with Tanya, I wouldn't put it past him to still try and get Bella back. My eyes continued to stare down at the patterns in the carpet.

I felt the bed dip down beside me and then Bella's hand rested on my thigh. I calmed… slightly.

"I know that you two have your issues, you don't trust the guy, and there's a lot I don't know about." Bella cupped my cheek and pulled, forcing me to look at her. "But, you've got to trust me. I could never love anyone _but you_. I could never be with anyone _but you_. Jacob is my friend; he was there when I was alone, feeling depressed because the man I loved was in love with someone else. If it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't have been at that gala and you may have never noticed me. Maybe you should be thanking him." She forced a smile.

"Don't push it, Bella," I mumbled and she smiled more sincerely. "Don't hide things from me; don't discuss our relationship with him, and try to be in public places with him, so he can't try to grope you. Please."

"What are you, my dad?" She responded sarcastically.

"No, I'm a man who can't bear the thought of you even riding in the same car with a man who wants you. Just please do those things." I pleaded with my eyes, covering her hand with mine.

"I will always tell you everything. I'm sorry I hadn't mentioned it before; I didn't realize it would be such a big deal. I won't discuss you or our relationship with him. I can't promise to always be in public places with him though. You're just going to have to trust me, okay."

"I do and I'll try to be less of an ass. Oh, and by the way, it was your phone ringing on Friday. It was Jacob and I deleted him from your caller ID."

"You are such a child!" She yelled as she tried to push me away from her but I knew she wasn't really mad. I grabbed onto her waist and laid her back on the bed and started what I hoped would be a long make-out session before I left. Just because we weren't going to have sex, didn't mean I wasn't going to take full advantage of making out as much as possible.

**Author Notes:**

Hey, my ladies on the thread, did you catch any of your input in there? This really is an awesome beach to camp at my family did pretty regularly growing up. You most always will see some whales and dolphins while there.

Thank you for all of the reviews, alerts, favorites, and PM's. You make me all kinds of happy, do it again, do it again.

Must reads, "Six Silent Goodbye's", and "The Broken Lullaby" by Viva Viva. She is a brilliant writer and I love, love, love these two *sigh*


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Notes:**

I know, I made you all wait FOREVER, this is the longest I have ever gone without updating. I'm sorry. Initially, I wasn't motivated because I was sad about people's responses to the last chapter. Then Halloween week was crazy busy. Then the last two weeks my kids and I have all been sick. So, yes real life really got in the way this last month.

Lynelle and Angie, I love your brains. You both are brilliant.

SM owns the characters, the story is all mine.

**Chapter 27**

**Protector**

My hand clutched onto my carry-on bag as I maneuvered my way through the crowds of the busy SEA/TAC airport pressing forward with a single minded purpose. I needed to find Emmett. He had been tracking James while Bella was gone, and I desperately wanted to know what he discovered. I wanted to know why James had called Bella while she was in L.A. The whole situation with him needed to end— I would end it myself if I had to. Hearing Bella's crying fears as she had nightmares while in my arms, left me with a burning rage in my chest. The only thing that would extinguish the fire within me was James locked up or even dead, if that's what it took. He would _never_ hurt Bella.

"Loser," a deep roaring voice shouted through the crowd, breaking me from my inner turmoil. My brother would forever be fifteen. As immature and as embarrassing as he was, I couldn't help the laugh that almost bubbled to the surface.

Shaking my head, I made my way toward the over sized child waving his arms around in front of the elevators. Emmett was not alone; leaning against the wall with arms crossed over his chest was Jasper. I was excited to see Jasper. It seemed lately we never spent time together. He and Alice were always wedding planning. Luckily the wedding was quickly approaching and I would soon have my golfing buddy back.

"What's up boys?" I asked, handing Emmett my bag –which he immediately dropped to the floor— and shaking hands with Jasper.

"Not much how was your trip?" Jasper asked with a knowing smile.

"Amazing." I felt the cheesy grin on my face and tried to banish it, but I was too late.

"You're such a pansy. Get your bag." Emmett shook his head and headed for the parking garage. Jasper gave me a sympathetic smile and clapped his hand on my shoulder as I bent over to grab my bag.

"We better catch up before he leaves us," Jasper suggested as we hurried to the waiting monstrous jeep.

In typical Emmett fashion, as Jasper and I approached the jeep which Emmett had already pulled out, he started to drive away.

"Really, Emmett, after fifteen years this game hasn't gotten old?" All I could hear over the engine was Emmett's roar of laughter.

The car sat idle and I reached for the door handle and Emmett put on the gas. There was no way I would dignify him by running after the car. I looked over at Jasper and rolled my eyes. Jasper shrugged his shoulders and smiled. Jasper always took everything in stride; I could definitely learn more than a golf swing from him. Emmett repeated his game about five times; I was yelling obscenities while he laughed hysterically the whole time.

It was the easy way out, but I used it anyway. I pulled out my cell phone, "I'm calling Rose. I'm telling her we can't leave the airport because you are talking to some stripper at the baggage claim."

The doors unlocked immediately and we were climbing inside the jeep. I knew it was a cheap shot, but I knew that even Emmett knew better than to get on Rose's bad side.

"I can't believe you stopped when I mentioned Rosalie. Who's the pansy now, Emmett?"

"Laugh it up all you want little brother, but I have no problem letting Rose keep me on a leash. In fact, it can be quite interesting."

"Gross," Jasper and I yelled simultaneously. In turn, this caused Emmett to let out a roar of laughter. I'd never gotten used to Emmett and Rosalie's openness about their sex life.

"So, Emmett, why don't we give Edward the info we got on James?" Jasper jumped in for a subject change.

Emmett immediately went into cop mode. "Well, Charlie let us know that the last two mornings he saw the SUV sitting outside of his house. Every time he would exit the house to confront James, the car would take off."

Frustration was filling me. I would not let Bella out of my sight once she was home. At least it was a relief to know that he was here and hadn't followed her to L.A. "What, we still can't do anything? Even with that?"

"It'll be a slap on the wrist, Edward. We really need him to try something with Bella to get any real charges against him."

"I don't like it. I don't like the idea of him being anywhere near Bella. What if we don't get to her in time? What if he has a weapon? What if—"

"I don't think he's dangerous. I think he's just a little obsessed with her. He would have done something by now if he wanted to hurt her. He's had plenty of opportunities, if that's what he wanted to do." A shiver ran down my spine.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better, Emmett? That if he wanted to hurt her, he could've already."

"Edward, I know this is frustrating for you. But you need to understand we are doing everything we can. I want Bella safe just as much as you do, trust me on this."

My gut knew that what Emmett said was true. I knew he wanted Bella safe. I also knew this was what Emmett did for a living; this was what he was trained for. I needed to trust him. While most of the time I considered him to be a big oaf, he was really good at his job. "So, did you find anything today?"

"Not really. The guy seems to be some kind of hermit or recluse. Both days I've been out to Seattle to follow him around, he never even left his house. He only came out to check his mail. I spoke with some of his neighbors and they all said the same thing as what I witnessed. You'd think with all his fame he'd be out spending money, getting women, and partying."

"Well, he's not staying in his house enough to keep me happy." I would drop it for now, but the conversation would be brought up again.

"Jasper," I said over my shoulder looking toward my soon-to-be brother-in-law. "How did you get roped into spending the day with Emmett?"

"Well, it wasn't really by choice. Esme didn't like the idea of Emmett tracking James around by himself." His comment triggered my anger again. "Plus, Alice sent us on some wedding errands while we were in the city." Jasper shook his head, with a 'you know Alice' look on his face.

"Don't worry, Buddy, it'll be over soon."

"Two more weeks. But then you know she'll find something else to obsess over. Maybe she could focus on someone else's wedding?" He smirked at me. I quickly rolled my eyes and turned back around in my seat.

Emmett chuckled from the driver's seat. "Come on man. You know you're completely whipped."

How was your weekend of love? Tell us, was she everything you thought she'd be?" Emmett asked, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. "Bella looks like she would be a vixen behind closed doors."

_I so do not want to have this conversation with him._

"Hey, it's not like that with her," I snapped. Emmett and Jasper exchanged a long look. "What… what does that look mean?"

Emmett wore a look of unbelief. "What are you saying little brother? Are you saying you couldn't seal the deal?" Emmett continued to laugh, having no idea how close he was to the truth.

I felt a growl building in my chest. "Emmett," I said in a warning tone.

"I'm just looking out for you, Bro."

"Don't listen to him, Edward," Jasper said sympathetically as he playfully slapped my shoulder.

Emmett proceeded with his snide comments about my inability to get a woman and how no woman could ever resist him, and then he gave me his condolences of having to live a life of cold showers. Jasper would chuckle every once-in-a while as Emmett continued to entertain himself. I could feel my anger building as I clenched and unclenched my fist.

After fifteen minutes of listening to Emmett's diarrhea of the mouth, I snapped, "Bella's a virgin, okay." I regretted it the second the words left my mouth. The "lack of filter" strikes again.

Emmett was actually stunned silent for the first time in, well, a long time. The silence lingered for a moment, both of them sitting with their jaws hanging open.

"Bella is such a great girl," Jasper chimed in trying to take the conversation in a different direction. "I think it's great that—"

"You mean like born again virgin, right?" Emmett interrupted.

"No, Emmett," I said between gritted teeth. "I mean she has never been in love and wanted to wait for someone she really loved."

"So, what, she doesn't love you?"

"No, she loves me."

"So then you did sleep with her?" Emmett was such an idiot. Was I really going to have to explain this to him?

"NO! Bella loves me but she wants to… she just… she's been waiting this long… so she just wants… she's waiting until she's married."

Emmett sucked in a breath between clamped teeth and patted my leg. "I'm sorry, Dude, that's brutal."

A little childishly, I shoved his hand off of my leg. "Shut up. There's a lot more to a relationship than sex. Besides, it doesn't really bother me." Emmett broke into a roar of laughter and I became filled with the same feeling that enraged me when we were kids. I would get so worked up when Emmett would make fun of me, to the point where I wanted to punch him, but knew I couldn't because he could kill me. As an adult, I knew I shouldn't let him bother me but he did. I wasn't resentful of Bella's choice; in fact, I didn't really feel deprived. Being with Bella, the way we'd been, was more intimate than any sex I'd ever had. Sure, I had urges that weren't being met, but I could put those on the back burner until she was ready to be made mine. I didn't know why I let Emmett get to me.

Jasper leaned forward, resting a hand on each of our shoulders, and I immediately felt calmer. It was kind of creepy how he could always do that. "Well, Edward, I think it's great that you're respecting what Bella wants. Even if she wants to wait until she's married, it will happen soon enough." My head whipped around and he gave me that knowing smile again and Emmett looked at me with a mystified expression.

_How did Jasper know I would marry Bella soon? Please, don't tell Emmett._

I was done with the topic. I relaxed back against my seat and crossed my arms over my chest. Emmett leaned over and turned up the radio, signaling that agreed to end our conversation. We spent the majority of the rest of our drive listening to Dan Patrick sports talk. We had to take advantage of the reception we got near Seattle since we couldn't get his show in Forks.

My stomach started to growl and I remembered I hadn't eaten since breakfast with Bella this morning. The corner of my mouth started to rise slowly as I thought about breakfast in bed with Bella. We'd ordered everything off the hotel menu, and covered the top of the bed with pancakes, waffles, omelets, crescents, sausages, cinnamon rolls, bacon, fruit, and French toast. We each had a fork and dug into whatever looked good. We spent hours eating and talking about everything. We talked about her ideas for a novel, I shared with her my desire to open my own practice and leave the hospital one day, our families, our future, and our favorite memories from our childhood. As annoying and mean as I was to her, we surprisingly, had a lot of good memories together. I loved the way we talked. Our interaction was truly that of best friends. I was grateful that neither of us was trying to be someone we weren't; we didn't feel the need to worry about impressing the other. We were both secure in the fact that that wi knew and loved each other for exactly who we were.

"I'm starving. Can we stop at Taco Bell or something?"

"No can do, little brother. Mom's cooking us dinner. I wouldn't want you to ruin your appetite."

'Annoying' was the word that came to mind when I thought of my brother. I wondered if he was always this annoying or if I'd just matured that much faster than he did. Laying my head back against the headrest, I closed my eyes, trying to nap the rest of the way home.

The slams of two car doors awoke me from my slumber. Jasper and Emmett were already headed up to the house. Those jerks were just going to leave me in the car. I couldn't help the smirk that covered my face. These were the kinds of things brothers do to each other and you have to give credit where credit is deserved. Emmett played the stereotypical older brother to a 'T'. I pulled myself and one of my bags from the car and headed into the house.

"Hey, Mom," I said as Esme pulled me into a hug as soon as I walked in the door.

"Hi, baby boy how was your trip?" I hated to admit that I loved that my mom still called me her baby boy. "How's Bella?"

"The trip was great… fast… but great. I hope Bella is good. She's quitting her job in the morning."

Esme clapped her hands in excitement and started to bounce up and down. "Oh, Edward, I'm so excited Bella is coming back." Watching my mother's giddiness confirmed where Alice received her enthusiasm from. "What is she going to do? Where will she work? Is she moving in with you? Are you guys going to –"

The kitchen timer started beeping, saving me from my mother's long list of questions. Not that I didn't like talking to my mom, I just didn't want to have this conversation with her right now. I felt like I was in some kind of funk I couldn't pull myself out of. I didn't know if it was because Bella wasn't here, Emmett getting on my last nerve, knowing there was nothing I could do about James, or just exhaustion. I decided it had to be a combination of them all.

"Uncle Edward!" My three favorite little voices called. My spirits were immediately lifted as my tiny girls wrapped their arms around my legs.

"How are my favorite girls?"

"Where's Aunt Bella?" Mia asked looking around the back of me. I couldn't help how my heart clenched when they called Bella their aunt. I couldn't wait until that title was true.

"She's still in California."

"Did you bring us a present?" Emma asked.

"What do you think?" The girls started to jump and squeal in unison. I squatted down and opened the bag I had sat down by the door.

I handed each of the girls a bag. "That's from Bella too."

The girls tore into their bags, pulling out salt water taffy, USC T-shirts, and a ticket to Disneyland.

"What's this?" Mia asked holding up the ticket.

Just as I was about to answer her, Emma let out a scream, "Disneyland, Disneyland, Disneyland." She was jumping around the room, with Mia and Isabel following her lead. "You're going to take us to Disneyland?"

"If it's okay with your mom and dad, Bella and I want to take you guys during your winter break." They all ran screaming from the room calling for their mom.

"Dinner's ready everyone," Mom called from the dining room.

My stomach leapt at the thought of getting some food in my mouth. Hurriedly, I sat down to the table. Jasper, Emmett, and I had been fooled. We thought Mom was just being nice making dinner for us, instead it was an ambush. Alice plopped down at the table with her giant wedding binder and I let out an exasperated sigh.

_Here we go_.

We sat through the rest of dinner listening to our various responsibilities over the next two weeks and the schedules for the week of the wedding were distributed. I couldn't believe I'd been tricked into this meeting. At least I had gotten dinner out of it, and I did have the shortest list of responsibilities. And of course, I was lectured about how if I chose to throw a bachelor party for Jasper –which I was— we were not allowed to have a trashy dancer at the party. Emmett whined about it, and I wondered if it was even possible, to get a stripper in Forks.

The girls tore into their taffy after dinner and Rose went upstairs to bathe them while mom and Alice continued to sit at the table going over plans. All of us men had retired to the family room for some Sunday night football. The game was a slaughter and I quickly grew bored watching. My mind wondered back to James and how I could get rid of him without having to use Bella.

"Emmett, there has to be a way to handle the James situation without using Bella." I said leaning forward with my elbows resting on my knees.

"Really, Edward, are we back to this again? Let it go. Let me do my job."

I was quiet for a moment racking my brain for a different solution or a way to make me okay with the current solution. Then a light went off in my head. "Emmett, I need to be there when it all goes down."

"No, you're a liability. One, you aren't a cop. Two, you're way too emotionally invested in this. You could make it riskier."

"I have to be there," I stated, annunciating each word. I wanted to make it clear to Emmett that I wasn't really asking. "I won't be in the way and I will do what you tell me to do."

"NO!"

"What is your problem? I just want to –"

My father's stern voice interrupted the argument. "Edward, you need to calm down and trust your brother. Letting you get involved could cost him his job. In fact, he's probably not even supposed to discuss what's going to happen, with us. Be grateful he's keeping you in the loop."

Deep down I knew my father was right, but I was still mad. I wanted to be there. I dropped my head down into my palms, my fingers grasping at my hair.

"It's alright, Dad," I heard Emmett's voice, but something was off about his tone. "I mean, you're right, I shouldn't be telling any of you anything about the situation. But, it's not like I told him that we will all be getting into position at 5:30 a.m. every day this week. I never told him that we would all be communicating by walkie-talkies, and that I have an extra one on my desk." My head jerked up, meeting Emmett's mischievous grin. I felt a smile spread across my face realizing what Emmett was doing. Looking around the room I found Jasper and my dad wore the same expression. "And, I absolutely concealed that the only spot I'm concerned about not having a clear shot of Bella is near the corner of Evergreen Loop and Bogachiel Way. I would never, ever, give him that kind of information because then he could just show up and then what could I do about it?" Emmett pushed back in his recliner, lacing his fingers behind his head. "I mean, even if he were to somehow get the information and show up, I hope he would be smart enough to stay in his car and keep quiet."

"Emmett, I don't know what to say. Thank you," I stuttered out. I was in complete shock what Emmett had just done for me. He was putting his job on the line and helping me out.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I saw the corner of his mouth lift for a second before he was distracted. "Hey, Ma, is there any dessert tonight?"

My face lit up with a smile; I couldn't have loved my brother more than I did in that moment.

"Stop making those girlie eyes at me, Edward. I'm worried you're going to try and kiss me or something." We both laughed it off and went back to watching the game.

Some of my anxiety over the whole situation was starting to curb. I sat back in my chair and started to anticipate Tuesday. I was ready to be rid of James.

Monday dragged at a snail's pace. Bella was coming home and I was over-eager to see her tonight. Looking down at my watch, I saw I still had seven hours until we'd see each other. It was noon; I figured I should probably grab lunch before I went into surgery at two.

As I made my way down the hall, the elevator doors started to close and I ran for it, jumping in between the doors, one of them grazing my right arm. Stumbling back against the back wall, I realized I wasn't alone. There on the other side of the elevator stood Jacob in his street clothes, arms crossed over his chest. My blood immediately started to boil in an automatic reaction to him, but then I took a deep breath, telling myself to calm down. I needed to do this. I needed to try, for Bella.

"Black," I acknowledged in a monotone voice giving a curt nod. "Are you on your way to get Bella?"

"Yup," he answered looking at me with a smug smirk. "You worried?"

"Should I be?"

Jacob stared me down until the doors opened. "I wish I could say yes, but no."

"Thank you."

"For what exactly?"

Jacob stepped off the elevator ahead of me and I followed. Running my fingers through my hair, I let out a loud sigh. His question seemed simple, but really it wasn't. I owed Jacob a lot of thank yous, and if I hadn't been holding onto this stupid grudge, I would have told him so. Running my fingers through my hair for the hundredth time, I looked up to see Jacob walking away.

"Jake, wait," I called out. Jacob turned around looking impatient. "Thank you for being a friend to Bella." Jacob's eyes opened in shock. "Thank you for respecting her. Thank you for being there when Tanya needed someone. Thank you for picking up Bella today. Thank you, for keeping her safe while I can't."

Jacob sat there with his jaw hanging to the ground. He reached up, scratching the top of his head. He let out an exasperated sigh and dropped his hands to his hips. "Uh… you're welcome… I guess."

I couldn't help but smirk at Jacob's confusion. Had I really been that big of a jerk to him? It felt kind of good letting go of some of the anger. Hopefully the idiot didn't do anything stupid to retract my attempts at being cordial. "Just bring her back to me safely." That said, I spun on my heels heading for the cafeteria.

The rest of my day flew by quickly as I saw patients most of the afternoon and evening. I received one text from Bella an hour ago and looked at it a hundred times.

_**Hey, boyfriend, no that's weird. Edward, I'm home safely, and I'm anxiously awaiting YOU! Love you, Me**_

Nobody had ever had me smitten like this and it was bittersweet. Letting someone control my heart this way was a risk, but I trusted Bella. I had to admit though, these out of control feelings felt better than anything I'd ever experienced.

The drive to Bella's was quick, but what drive in Forks isn't? I was about to knock on her door when it flew open and Bella jumped into my arms.

"I'm so glad you're here," she breathed into my neck.

"Of course you are."

Bella shoved off my chest. "You're so full of it."

Ah, I loved my strong girl. She didn't put up with my crap. She tried to turn away from me but I grabbed onto her arm. "Come here."

"Nope, your chance is over. Now you'll have to work for that 'I missed you' kiss," she spouted. She raised her challenging eyebrows at me and turned away. I loved her spunk and the challenge.

"I guarantee you'll kiss me by the time I leave," I said following her into the kitchen.

"Don't count on it." She looked at me with a snarky look over her shoulder. This time, I raised my eyebrows at her calling her bluff.

"You're right," she gave in. We both started to laugh and I jumped in helping her with dinner.

We spent the next couple of hours cooking, eating with Charlie, doing the dishes, and Charlie and I watching a game while Bella did her laundry. Charlie finally went up to bed and I pulled Bella into my lap.

"So, you never told me about your meeting."

"It went well. They said they understood me wanting to stay here, and they were sorry they couldn't offer me anything. We talked about my plans and I told them I was considering writing my own fiction. They informed me that if I ever decided to follow through with my writing, they would be happy to work with me. They also said if I ever changed my mind about editing, there was always a place for me."

"Wow, you must've made quite the impression on them. Good for you. I'm happy for you." My hand mindlessly stroked up and down Bella's back. "Bella, are you happy with your decision?"

"Yeah," she answered confused.

"Part of me is terrified you did this for me and later you're going to resent me for it. I never want to hold you back from your goals and dreams."

"Edward, look at me." Both of her hands wrapped around my face. "I made this decision for me. For the first time in… well as long as I can remember, I am happy from the soles of my feet to the top of my head, and I know that it's because of you. You make me happy."

"You're not going to say 'I complete you' now are you?"

"Maybe… if I did, what would you do about it?"

My hands grabbed onto her waist and I started tickling her. She was immediately squirming in my lap, letting out the cutest little squeals. I rose onto my knees laying her back onto the couch, tickling her relentlessly.

"I'm going to pee my pants. Let me go."

"No you're not. You tried that trick all the time when we were kids. You don't think I'd remember that when you'd say that? We'd let you go, and then you'd jump up laughing and lock yourself in Alice's room."

"I swear, I swear, Edward, I really have to go."

I dropped my face within an inch of hers. "No, you don't." My eyes bore into hers and suddenly the atmosphere changed. The air was full of electricity and desire. My body dropped, crushing against her, my lips capturing hers. Her fingers immediately found the hair at the nape of my neck, sending shivers down my spine. I dropped my body over to her side –not wanting to hurt her— pressing my back against the back of the old, plaid couch. One arm held most of my weight while the other held onto her long, soft neck. My senses absorbed everything that was Bella; my ears perking at every moan and sigh that escaped her lips, my nose inhaling the smell of freesia and strawberry— my new favorite scent that was all her, my lips and tongue moving in perfect synchronization, tasting her full soft lips, my hands following all of the curves of her body, mapping her out in my mind. I had to get my fix of Bella or I thought I would detonate.

Breathing heavily, Bella pulled away but kept her hands on me. "Edward… I've never loved like this. I've given you all that I can, and I will give you everything, in time. I feel like I'm handing myself over to you and it terrifies me."

"Bella, even in my past relationships, I've never felt what I feel towards you and what we have is all new to me too. I'm terrified too. I'll never hurt you. I am going to spend the rest of my life loving you, whether you want me to or not.

Her grin spread across her entire face and I felt my heart leap. "Swear?"

"Absolutely," I breathed, and then my lips were back on hers.

After making out with Bella for a while, my desire for her was increasing by the second. Every time my hands started to circle the skin around her waist she would lace her fingers with mine. This was her subtle way of telling me no. How did she know how desperate I was for the skin that lay underneath her shirt? This woman was going to drive me crazy. I wanted— no, needed— her and the fact that my mind was over powering my body in this situation showed how much I loved and respected her.

"We have to stop now, Bella, because I seem to lack the self control that you possess." Bella let out a quiet giggle. "You, pretty girl, are going to be the death of me."

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a quick squeeze before rolling over onto her side, pressing her back against my chest. We both lay there silently, enjoying each other. Bella brushed her fingertips up and down my forearm, slowly putting me to sleep.

"Edward," she whispered.

"Mmmhmm," I barely spoke, my eyes still closed.

"I'm scared." My eyes shot open and I squeezed her to me a little tighter.

"Of what?"

"James… I know I need to do this and end it all, but I am really scared." I could hear a slight tremble in her voice.

"I know, baby. Bella, I won't let anything happen to you. I'll be there watching and listening and I –"

"What?! You're going to be there? No, I don't want you there. It's dangerous and you'll get yourself killed trying to save me. Just let Emmett do this."

"Bella, I can't… I won't sit somewhere else and hope that everything is going okay. You're right. I will hurt him if he hurts you. I don't think that you get it." I could hear the strain in my voice trying to control my anger.

"What?"

"I can't live without you, Bella. Anything that jeopardizes you is not okay with me. I'm going to be there, end of discussion." I felt her suck in her breath, getting ready to argue with me. I leaned my mouth down to her ear. "Please, just drop this. You won't change my mind." I whispered.

The next three days passed by like Ground Hog's Day. I would get up at the crack of dawn each day and sit around, freezing in a car for two hours. Catching only a short glimpse of Bella as she rounded the corner, I'd take her to breakfast, and then go to work and have dinner with Bella. We'd talk all night long until I couldn't keep my eyes open, and then I'd drive home, pass out, and repeat the next day.

Friday took a dramatic turn. In a repeat manner, I sat in my car at six a.m. shivering, and clenching onto a hot cup of coffee. Listening to Bella's quick breath over the walkie-talkie, as she ran with a wire strapped to her chest. The rhythmic pants were actually starting to lull me to sleep and then out of nowhere, I could literally hear her heart start to thud against the microphone at a speed I wasn't comfortable with. By the time my mind registered what would make her heart accelerate that way, I heard it, the purr of an engine as it slowed down next to her.

"Okay, boys he's here. Tyler, it looks like they are going to stop closest to you and she's in my line of vision. Everyone needs to be on alert and ready," Emmett spoke with authority over the radio.

My mind immediately flashed through the list of men and their locations, trying to figure out where she was. If I remembered correctly, Tyler was sitting at the corner of Evergreen Loop, opposite end of the block from me.

A small whimper cried out at the same time a car door slammed. It was Bella. My heart raced and my hands clenched on top of my thighs. James was here, and he was going to try and hurt the woman I loved.

"Bella," James's voice called out to her. Bella's breathing increased and I could hear the sound of footsteps approaching her. My hands grabbed onto the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white, and pain shooting up my hands.

"Leave me alone, please. Why are you following me?" Bella's voice trembled. I knew she was fighting tears.

"I just want to talk to you." He tried to sound friendly, like this was a normal way to approach someone you want to talk to. What kind of twisted mind did this man have? His voice was much closer than I was comfortable with. It sounded like he was right next to her. "You inspire me." I felt the bile rise in my throat, as I thought of him fantasizing about her.

"I don't work for Random House anymore, we no longer work together. You need to leave me alone."

"You don't understand, Bella." Anger laced his voice. There was a muffled sound, like her clothes were pulling against the microphone. "I need you so I can write. You're my muse."

"Get your hands off of me, NOW!" Bella roared stronger than I thought she was capable. "You're hurting my arm. Let go!"

"Bella, calm down, I won't need to hold onto you if you'd just listen." His voice was eerily soothing. "You see, when I wrote about Victoria in my books, I had a face in my head. Then when we met, I was taken by you. You're my inspiration; you are the face I saw when I wrote about my obsession. I have to have you with me now, to move forward."

"Get away from me."

"You don't understand, Bella. I HAVE TO HAVE YOU!" I could tell by the sound of his voice he was very close to the microphone. It sounded like there was a scuffle between them.

Without thought, my door was open.

Emmett's voice rang powerfully in my ears, "Not yet, Edward, stay in your car." How the heck did he know I was about to get out of the car?

I hesitated for a moment, wanting to obey my brother's command and respect his position. But that was _my_ Bella whimpering and telling that scum of a man to get his hands off her. I couldn't just sit in the car and listen anymore. It didn't take long for me to make my decision. I took off running through backyards, carrying the walkie-talkie in my hand. I gave a silent prayer hoping I was near Tyler's location and that I was heading towards Bella, not away from her.

"You're coming with me, let's go!" James commanded her. I could hear her feet dragging against the concrete and the sounds of what I hoped were her whaling on him.

Emmett's voice broke through the radio. "Get ready boys, it's a matter of seconds. We just need him to try and push her into the car and he's done."

By the time Emmett finished his instruction, I was one house away from them, hiding behind a shrub. I could see her. She was fighting him, hard. I was proud of her. My girl was strong. As he reached for the handle of his car, a sound cried out that ripped my heart in half.

"EDWARD, HELP ME!!!" She begged.

There was no thought, she wanted me and she had me. I sprinted through the yard. I leapt over some bushes, ready to catch my prey whose back was toward me, completely unaware of my presence. Bella's terrified eyes hadn't seen me coming for her yet; she was spreading her limbs so he couldn't push her into the car. James slapped her across the face in a last-ditch effort and she cried out as his hand carried across her cheek. My primal instincts took over as I lunged at my unknowing victim.

**Author Notes:**

Mmmm, I wonder what will happen when Rageward gets a hold of James?

Favorite Reads Right Now:

**The University of Edward Masen by SebastienRobichaud**. I can't get enough of her Professorward.

**Paved With Good Intentions by 4JACE. **I love this story, it is so creative and she just completed it last night.

Please, please review and make me feel better after last chapter. It will help me get excited to write the next.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Notes:**

Disclaimer, blah, blah, blah, it's Stephenie's.

**Chapter 28**

"You don't understand, Bella. I need you so I can write. You're my muse." James' psychotic confession caused me to whimper. I wondered how this was happening to me.

"Get your hands off of me, NOW!" I yelled, surprised by the amount of strength that sounded in my voice. "You're hurting my arm. Let go!" His vice grip would not let go of my bicep.

"Bella, calm down, I wouldn't need to hold onto you if you'd just listen. You see, when I wrote about Victoria in my books, I had a face in my head. Then when we met, I was taken by you. You're my inspiration; you're the face I saw when I wrote about my obsession. I have to have you with me now, to move forward with the next book." My eyes locked to his exposed blue orbs as they stared off into a faraway place. Right then I knew he was crazy, and I couldn't help the panic overtaking my subconscious that he could possibly kill me. My throat started to constrict, my limbs started to tremble, and my mind went to my happy place… Edward.

Thinking of Edward gave me the strength to fight. I couldn't just stand here and fall victim to this deranged man. "Get away from me," I screamed, not as powerfully as I had commanded before.

"You don't understand, Bella. I HAVE TO HAVE YOU!" James stated very matter-of-factly, and my blood ran cold. I could no longer control the whimpering that left me.

"You're coming with me. Let's go!"

Images of my future with Edward flashed before my eyes. I was walking toward Edward in a white gown, Edward and I intimately together in a large white bed, my newborn baby being handed to Edward, and a room full of children and grandchildren around a Christmas tree. My heart swelled and clenched at the same time, wondering if I would live to see these things happen. That was what I wanted; I had finally gotten what I dreamt of my whole life, and this lunatic was not going to take it away from me. I dug my heels into the ground, slowing down the process of being dragged to the car. In the back of my mind I knew that Emmett and Edward would never let him take me anywhere, but I couldn't help the terror that was flowing wildly through me. As if acting of their own mind, my fists started pounding into his solid back and muscular arms. As he reached for the door handle, logic vanished from my mind. The only thought that ran through my head was, _he's finally got me._

"EDWARD, HELP ME!!!" I knew he would never let anything happen to me, and if he heard me, he would save me. It was a desperate attempt.

My last effort to get out of this mess was to spread my arms and legs as wide as possible making it impossible for him to shove me into the car. What I hadn't expected was the painful blow to my face. I'd never been hit before, and seeing it happen in hundreds of movies could never have prepared me for the stinging pain that spread throughout my face and head. Of course, he received the result he was going for. I immediately grabbed onto my face, which made it easy for him to push me into the car. The full weight of James's body was pressing me into the car. Suddenly, the weight on my back doubled, then vanished, followed by a feral roaring sound.

My in-born instincts screamed at me to take flight and I responded. Pushing off of the horrid SUV, I ran as fast as I could until I heard _his_ voice. Halting my step, I whipped my head around. There, pressing James against a wooden fence by his neck and throwing blows at James' stomach, was Edward.

My stomach was in torrents and I wasn't exactly sure what upset me more; my near abduction, seeing a never before enraged Edward, or watching a man being beaten to a bloody pulp.

Edward's voice was suddenly clear in my mind, "How dare you lay a hand on her?" Punch to the gut. "I should kill you right now!" Punch in the face. "You've screwed with the wrong person!" Slammed him onto the ground. All the while, James just used his arms trying to block Edward's fury.

My peripheral vision absorbed the images of all of the cop cars that had now pulled up and men jumping out of their cars. Emmett immediately grabbed onto Edward, pulling him back by his arms. He squirmed, trying to get to James, who was being lifted up and cuffed by two other men.

Emmett slammed Edward up against the car and grabbed onto him by his shirt. "Edward, that's enough!" He yelled through his clenched teeth. "You need to stop. My men are taking care of it now. Bella needs you. Go take care of her." His eyes immediately darted to mine with a look of pain, as he listened to the hushed words Emmett was whispering in his ear.

As Edward focused on my eyes, trying to gain some control, I felt an arm slide around my shoulders. The surprise contact had my body full of panic and fear, causing me to scream in blood curdling terror.

"Shh, Baby Girl," Charlie cooed into my ear, wrapping his other arm around me and pulling me into a tight embrace. "Edward! Come here, quick, she's falling apart." Charlie's voice sounded pained and I didn't know why.

In seconds, I heard the only voice that could relieve my pain. "Give her to me." Charlie immediately let his hold go, and another perfect set of arms wrapped around me, lifting me off the ground.

It was only then that I realized I was shaking— shaking hard— my entire frame vibrating until my teeth chattered and the world around me seemed to wobble and blur in my eyes. I heard a sound that didn't make sense, a strange, ripping noise.

"It's all right. You're safe. It's all right," Edward chanted again and again with his lips against my ear, rocking me back and forth in his lap.

"I think she's having hysterics," my dad suggested with a voice of concern.

Then I understood. Oh. The noise was me. The ripping sound was the sobs coming from my chest. That's what was shaking me.

Edwards strong, cold hands held onto my face. "Look at me baby, he's gone, and he can never hurt you again. I promise."

My logic told me I was safe, that James was in custody, Edward was here with me, and I was mostly unharmed. But, my emotions couldn't grasp that. I was still terrified and shaken. Edward continued to cradle me in his arms and stroke my hair, stopping at the ends to rub circles along my back and then reach back up into my tresses again. Tilting my head back, Edward's face came into my sight, his eyes were so worried and he had what I could tell was going to be quite a bruise on his eye. Taking several long breaths, I finally gained enough control to speak. "Don't let me go," I whimpered.

"Never." He spoke with force, and then his lips were on mine.

Our kiss was interrupted by a heated argument down the sidewalk.

"I want a lawyer. I was attacked and you aren't doing anything." James was whaling.

"You were attacked? I saw no such thing," Emmett replied rather coolly. "Tyler, did you see that?"

"Nah, I didn't see that," Tyler answered shrugging his shoulders. Emmett proceeded in the same manner to all of the officers on the street. All of the men were giving the same expression and answer. James' fury was turning into a mad rage.

"Look at my freakin face; he beat me to a bloody pulp! That guy has rage issues!" He screamed pointing at Edward.

"As he should, considering you stalked, assaulted, and attempted to kidnap his girlfriend." James' eyes started to dart around in a sense of insecurity. "All I really saw was Edward trying to pull you off Bella, and then you attacked him so he fought you in self-defense." Emmett was so cool and collected with his arms crossed over his chest. "Isn't that right Edward?" He asked looking in our direction.

Edward fought down a smirk and then cleared his throat. "That's right; I was just out on a run, trying to meet up with my girlfriend, when I saw him forcing her into a car. I tried to pull him off her and that's when he punched me in the face. Then I was just trying to defend myself."

My hand reached up and caressed Edward's swollen eye. "He hit you?" I spoke in a hushed tone.

Edward's emerald eyes looked down at me. "I had to let him get one in so I could prove self-defense."

A grin covered my face. "Can you get me out of here?"

Pulling me tightly into his chest, he dropped his lips down to my ear. "I wish I could sweetheart, but we both need to go and make statements so we can put this whole thing behind us. Then I promise to take you home with me." I nodded, enjoying the feel of his warm strong body beneath my face.

We spent the next hour and a half in the police station –hopefully for the last time— giving our statements and taking pictures of me and Edward's faces from James' attacks.

Every time I heard James' voice or saw him in my line of vision, my stomach coiled; tremors passed through my body, and a lump grew in my throat. When Emmett approached me about doing this set up, I knew it would be scary, but never did I know it would mess me up this much. I felt so weak. I knew they were all there, watching and listening to me. I knew they wouldn't let him take me, but I still felt more scared and out of control than I ever had in my whole life. I wondered how long it would take me to overcome this.

Edward never left my side. His arms were constantly wrapped tight around me and every few minutes he would kiss the top of my head, my cheek, my lips, my shoulder, whatever was closest to his mouth. The only time we were separated was when we were giving our individual statements.

While Edward gave his, Charlie came and sat with me in Emmett's office.

"How are you hanging in there, kid?"

"I'll be okay," I muttered.

"Bella, you don't have to be so strong all the time."

My eyes snapped up and met his gaze. "I'm not strong."

"Yes you are. Stronger than most people I know. Not only did you agree to this set up, but you went through it like a champ."

The tears started to pour down my face. "Didn't you hear me crying or my body shaking? I tried to fight him, but it was useless."

"Bella." Charlie's voice came out strong and forceful. "You listen to me. I know grown men who wouldn't have handled that situation better than you. Trust me; I've been doing this a long time. I know when I see a woman who can hold her own." Charlie's voice cracked at the end and he looked away from me. "I wish we hadn't had to have you do that, but we wanted to have him behind bars. It was complete torture listening to everything that was happening, knowing we had to wait for more. I just… right now, I… well I couldn't have been more proud of you than when I was watching you today."

Without hesitation, I threw my arms around my dad's neck and sobbed into his shoulder. Charlie awkwardly patted my back and tried to calm me down. My dad and I sat that way for an immeasurable amount of time.

A voice cleared from behind me and I knew who it was just by my body's instantaneous draw to him; it was Edward. My dad and I pulled apart from each other and I quickly began wiping away the tears on my face. Charlie stood from his chair, clearing his own throat.

My dad walked toward the door, pausing next to Edward and resting a hand on his shoulder. "Edward, I'm really starting to think you're worthy of my little girl."

"Never sir, I'll never be worthy of her," Edward responded his eyes never leaving mine.

I was barely able to notice the corner of Charlie's mouth rise underneath his mustache as he walked out the door.

Edward's eyes scrunched together, staring into my eyes. It wasn't a stare of love or passion; it was as if he was trying to penetrate into my soul, searching my deepest thoughts. Feeling slightly uncomfortable, I rose to my feet.

"Can we go now?" Edward's eyes followed mine, but he didn't even blink let alone move. "Edward?"

"Hmm?" Edward responded with the shake of his head.

"Can we go?" My curiosity peaked as I wondered what he was thinking.

"Yeah, let's get you out of here." His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against his hard body as he pushed the glass door open to leave the dreadful building that was currently the residence of my worst nightmare.

"Bella, wait!" Emmett's voice called out. I turned toward him, Edward clinging to my side.

"Bella, I wanted to thank you for doing what you did today. We probably never would have been able to arrest him if it weren't for you." I nodded my head, letting him know it wasn't a big deal. "I'm…" Emmett shuffled his feet back and forth, staring down at them. It was unsettling to watch, I had never seen Emmett uneasy before. "I'm sorry we weren't there before he hit you. I shouldn't have let it go that far."

"It's okay, I understand." I heard a growl come from Edward's chest.

"You didn't just save yourself Bella. He just confessed to stalking thee other girls who he says were his muses to his previous books. We're in the process of contacting those women now. I know when I thank you it is more than just from me."

"Did he hurt any of them?" I asked as my stomach turned inside me.

"He says no, but we won't know until we talk to the other girls. He seems to be pretty honest with us, so I'm leaning toward believing him."

"Thank you, Emmett." I lunged forward, hugging him. This morning scared me more than anything ever had and may have a long-term effect on me, but at least now, thanks to Emmett, it was over. As I hugged Emmett, it didn't escape my attention that Edward's hand still resided on the small of my back. When Emmett set me down, Edward's fingers quickly pulled me back against him.

Edward seemed unwilling to lose any kind of contact with me. He kept me against his side as we walked to the car. He laced his fingers with mine the moment he was in the car, not even letting go to put on his seatbelt. When we arrived at his home, he ran from his car door to mine and immediately had me back in his arms. He hadn't spoken a word since we had left the police department. He pulled me through the house to his bedroom, and sat me on the edge of the bed before he knelt down and took off my shoes. Quickly, he kicked off his shoes and pulled off his jacket, keeping his eyes on me the whole time. He stepped forward, placing his body between my legs and looked down at me.

There was something sad in his expression that made my heart ache. I was worried, I wished I could force him to talk to me and help me understand his expression and his silence. My gut told me to wait, be patient, and let him talk when he was ready. I went with my gut feeling and decided to follow his lead. I surrendered, and dropped my head to his stomach and gripped my fingers onto his waist. There was a moment of stillness that felt so peaceful, something I hadn't felt in a long time.

Edward's frame leaned over me and I could hear the ruffling of the duvet behind me. His arms slid under my knees and behind my shoulders, and he lifted me into the center of his masculine bed. He lay down on his side, pressing against my body as he held his weight up on one arm, pulling the blanket up over our bodies with the other. Never losing eye contact, his fingers skimmed across my cheeks brushing my hair away from my face. His fingers lingered near my neck and my eyes closed as I absorbed the electricity flowing through my body. My eyelids fluttered open as I felt Edward's perfectly warm lips brush against my forehead, my cheek, my eyes, my temple, and my lips.

My desire to know his thoughts were bubbling to the surface again and I worked to restrain the burning questions in my mind as he slid his body down, resting his head on the pillow. My body was engulfed by his arm as he turned me, pulling my back against his chest. In Edward's arms, my body instantly relaxed. It only took seconds before I felt myself falling asleep.

I wasn't sure how long my peaceful slumber lasted. But it ended with my heart exploding out of my chest, tears flooding my face, my body uncontrollably quaking, and a piercing scream leaving my throat as I desperately tried to escape James in my hellish nightmare.

Edward was holding my face and my body firmly against his. "Baby, baby, wake up, it was just a dream. Shh-shh, honey, you're safe."

My screams turned into quiet, hiccupping sobs, and my body settled into a slight tremble, as I clung to his shirt.

Once my sobs had calmed and I was fully embarrassed by my outburst, I whispered, "I'm sorry." I tried to pull away, but his hold on me would not subside.

"Don't apologize, Bella. You've been through hell today. Let me take care of you." He leaned back against the headboard, allowing my head to rest against the top of his stomach. His fingers gently trailed up and down my spine, in silence.

"Please… don't be silent anymore, I can't take it. What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I upset you."

"What happened? You were fine and then after Charlie left it was like a switch was flipped. You wouldn't let me out of your grasp and you wouldn't say a word." I shifted my body so I could look up at him while still lying on his stomach.

He was pinching the bridge of his nose. "I don't know what happened… Bella, I can't live in a world where you don't exist." His fingers were running through his hair at a frantic pace, his fingers froze when he looked down and absorbed my confused expression. "When I looked at you, it really hit me that I could have lost you today. So many emotions ran through me in that moment. I wanted to kill James for hurting you. I wanted to hurt Emmett for putting you in that situation. I wanted to hold onto you so tight that I could force you to become a part of me. The only way I felt like I could stay in control was to not say anything and keep you –my safe haven— near me."

_This man really loves me as much as I love him._

Needing to reassure him that I was fine, I rose to my knees and straddled his lap. My hands held his face forcing him to look at me. "If I can help it, you will never live in a world where I don't exist, because I can't live in a world where _you_ don't exist."

And then I kissed him. The kiss was gentle, but our grips on each other were strong. Trying to get as close to the other as possible, both pulling on the other's waist and shoulders. It was one of those moments where you feel so connected to someone that you want to cry, because you didn't think it was possible to love someone this much and get it back in return.

We both pulled away, trying to catch our breaths as Edward pressed his forehead against mine. "Bella, I love you so much."

"I love you, too." Reluctantly, I moved myself off of Edward and snuggled into his side, resting my head against his chest.

"Bella, what was your nightmare about?"

"You know what it was about."

"You know it's over. He's gone now. You're safe now."

"I know." An internal debate waged in my head about whether or not I wanted Edward to know how terrified I still felt. I could tell Edward was going to worry about me already. If he knew I was scared it would only be worse. I did not want this interfering with his life or mine. My independence beat out my fear and I decided I would keep this bit of information to myself. "I don't know what that was about. I'm totally okay."

Edward's fingers lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him. His eyebrows scrunched together. I could tell he didn't believe me.

"Are you sure? When something like this happens to people they usually talk to someone about it… like a professional."

Speaking more forcefully, I reassured him, "Edward, I'm fine. I promise." He still looked untrusting. "Hey, don't look at me like that. It was just one of those weird dreams, where you relive an experience."

"Okay," he said willing to drop the subject but probably not believing me. "Are you hungry?" He asked rubbing my back.

"Starving."

"Why don't you go take a shower, I'll get some clothes out for you. I'm afraid I won't be able to help you out in the underwear department."

"Good! I'd be worried if you could."

"There's an extra toothbrush in the top drawer in the bathroom. Help yourself to anything else you need in there." He squeezed my shoulders tight against him, and kissed the top of my head. "Take your time." He slid out of the bed leaving me with a huge void in my chest.

It took me several minutes to force myself out of Edward's warm bed. The stone, tile floor was freezing under my bare feet and I rushed over to the enormous, almost all glass-shower and cranked the knob as hot as it would go. I peeled off my clothes causing goose bumps to cover my flesh. Reluctantly, I walked over to the square, dark wood-framed mirror that hung over Edward's sink. My stomach turned at the sight of myself. My hair was in a frizzy disarray of what was once a ponytail. My eyes were red and puffy, with dark purple circles underneath. My lips were pale, almost the same color as my skin. The only color that really existed on my face were the dark brown circles of my eyes, and the huge bruise that lay across the right side of my face. The loss of appetite I'd experienced due to the stress of James and my job was evident in the bones that were more prominent in my body than they should be. I wanted to cry as I witnessed that I physically looked as bad as I felt on the inside.

At that point the only thing keeping me going and sane was Edward. I knew I would get through all of this with him by my side. I let out a long desperate breath as I walked over and stepped into the shower letting the steaming water relax my body.

Once I was dressed, I padded down the hallway to the smell of food that made my stomach growl. Standing in front of his stainless range, Edward was cooking me some lunch. I slid my arms around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder. He dropped one hand onto my forearm, running it gently back and forth.

"You're warm. The food will be ready in just a minute."

"What are we having?"

"Nothing fancy. Grilled cheese and tomato soup, is that okay?"

"Mmhmm, sounds great."

He gave me his fabulous crooked grin. "Have a seat. Talk to me."

I opted for taking a seat at the island instead of the dining room table, giving me a better look at the backside of Edward. I sat cross-legged on the black barstool and leaned my elbows down on the gray slate countertop.

"Why are you playing hooky from work?" I asked, picking at my fingernail.

"I took a personal day," Edward answered without turning around.

"It seems like you are missing a lot of work lately because of me."

His shoulders shrugged up and down casually. "I don't think so. Every minute I'm not working, I am spending with you. I don't feel like I'm with you remotely near what I would like to be. So it seems to me I'm working entirely too much." He turned around giving me a smug smile.

"As much as I enjoy your flattery, I don't want you risking your job for me. I'm a big girl, Edward. I can take care of myself. I don't need a babysitter."

A wicked smirk showed on his face as he walked over to the island placing two plates with sandwiches on them at our place settings. "I know you don't need a babysitter, and I've already got a mother. I'm not risking my job. Did it occur to you that I need to be with you this morning for me, just as much as for you?"

The blush in my face quickly spread.

Edward made his way around the island. "You know that bruise doesn't look half as bad when your face is covered in crimson." His fingers gently trailed the edge of the hideous mark on my face and then he started placing feather light kisses on it.

My eyes fell shut. It was amazing to me that such a gentle touch could do such powerful things to my body. My hands rested at the top of his jeans, which sat low on his hips. The kisses drifted toward my neck and a soft moan escaped my mouth. Edward pulled my body towards him settling himself between my legs.

_Ring, Ring, Ring_

Edward's head dropped to my shoulder, the racing pulse in my neck against the side of his head.

Edward let out a small growl. "Only one person would ring the bell three times in a row," he murmured in my neck.

"Alice?" I said shaking my head and grinning. "I'll get the door, you get the soup. I really need to eat." Jumping off the barstool, I headed toward the door earning myself a swat on the bum from my sexy man.

So far, I had done a really good job appearing unaffected by today's events, but I had a sinking feeling it could change. Alice always had a way of knowing what I was thinking and feeling— dang that little psychic. I just had to steer her away from the topic. As I stood in front of the door, I took a slow, deep breath.

_Ring, Ring, Ring_

Wow, she was impatient. I pulled the door open and there she stood. It was unsettling seeing Alice not bouncing in place, no ear-to-ear grin, and not spitting out a million words a minute. She just quietly stepped inside the door and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Honey, I'm so glad you're safe and I'm so glad it's over."

"Me too," I barely choked out. I didn't think such a tiny person could hold me that tight.

"Are you okay, you're face looks awful," she said eyeing my wound.

A beautiful and silky voice came from behind my back. "No it doesn't. She's gorgeous."

Alice let out an exasperated huff. "Geez, Edward. She can be beautiful and still look awful when she has a giant bruise across her face."

"Well, let her be. She needs to eat." Edward's arm wrapped around my waist and then he pulled me back, toward the kitchen. I could hear the clicking of Alice's heels following close behind.

Edward and I took our seats at the barstools and Alice made her way to the opposite side of the island, leaning over the ledge in anticipation.

"So, tell me what happened."

My muscles clenched. "I don't really want to talk about it right now, Alice. Maybe you could have Emmett tell you about it."

"Oh… okay, sorry," she said apologetically.

Poor Alice, she was so used to me confiding in her. I was sure this was hard for her being left out of the loop.

"So, how are the wedding plans going? You have less than two weeks now. Do you need any help with anything?"

I caught Edward's smirk out of the corner of my eye as he slurped up his tomato soup.

She eyed me, knowing exactly what I was doing but went along with it. "Everything is done and ready to go. All I need is you at the hotel with me the night before. Just because I'm not having bridesmaids doesn't mean you don't have to party with me, Mom, and Rose for my last night as a single woman. Plus, the morning of the wedding, you're getting the full beauty treatment too. I already got your dress, by the way."

"Not a problem." I was actually really looking forward to a girl's night. I couldn't remember the last time I had one of those.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Mom wanted to know if you and Charlie are going to be with us for Thanksgiving."

"Um, Charlie is going to be with Sue and her family. I'd love to have Thanksgiving with you guys." I did want to spend the holiday with them; they were like family to me. But I was slightly hurt that Edward hadn't invited me.

"Great. We eat at four, but you can come over whenever you want."

We spent the next hour talking and eating then Alice had to go back to the boutique. Edward started clearing all of the dishes and I walked Alice to the door. I pulled the heavy, oak and glass front door open and gave Alice a hug.

Alice held me tight and whispered in my ear. "I'm here if you need me. Anything you say to me will stay between us. I love you, and I can't wait until you're my sister." Before I could respond, she pulled away giving me a knowing smile and a wave goodbye.

The next few days flew by much the same. Edward spent every minute he wasn't working, with me. I was uneasy with how fragile he was treating me. One of the things that I loved about me was my strength and independence. I also thought those were two of the things that drew Edward to me. I worried about what was going on in his head now that he was obviously seeing me as a weaker person. When I wasn't with Edward, I was pretty much at home cleaning and re-cleaning every room in my tiny house. I didn't want to leave the house, especially alone. Every night, I woke up screaming and covered in sweat. I was becoming very upset with myself for not being able to get past the James incident. Maybe Edward would start running with me again every morning and that would help to clear my head and ease me back into my routine. I'd have to somehow suggest that to him without telling him why.

Edward was picking me up tonight for a Cullen family tradition. The whole family goes out for pizza the night before Thanksgiving so Esme can have a small cooking break before preparing her masterpiece holiday dinner.

It was two o'clock and Edward wouldn't be here until five. I decided to take a nap to kill some time until my man arrived. I curled up on the couch, pulling the afghan down from the back of the couch, grabbed my Wuthering Heights book off the floor, and started to read. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep. For the first time in a week I actually had a dream and not a nightmare, and it was beautiful. It was me and Edward; a slide show of the evolution of our relationship. It was such a relief to wake up with a smile on my face instead of a sore throat and needing to change my sweat covered clothes. I had an hour until Edward would be here, so I skipped up the stairs to begin getting ready. I was in the middle of lathering in my strawberry scented shampoo, when a thought occurred to me.

My book. This was what my book would be about. It would be a love story; a love story about me and Edward. A warming feeling filled my soul, assuring me that this was what I should do. Running to my room, I flipped on the computer and started typing everything I saw in my dream, not wanting to forget any details. More than anything, I wished I could sit there for the rest of the night and start writing, but I knew Edward would be here shortly.

Glancing at the clock, I saw that I had fifteen minutes. I looked down at my body, covered in only a towel, and scowled at the drips of water that seeped from my still— wet hair as my back itched from the drops dripping down my back. I saved my notes and jumped up to my closet. Grabbing the first thing I saw, I threw on my leggings, long sweater, and Ugg boots. Seeing I only had five minutes left, I rushed into the bathroom and started drying my hair upside down. Ten minutes later, my hair was dry and I had thrown on some mascara.

As I made my way down the stairs, I heard Edward and Charlie talking. I didn't even know that Edward was here. Once I had descended to the last couple of steps, I could hear their conversation and I cringed.

Charlie was telling Edward about how he hears me screaming every night and that I constantly make up excuses not to leave the house.

"And this has been going on since the incident?" Edward's voice was raspy and laced with concern.

"Yeah, I tried to talk to her about it, but she won't. Does she talk to you about it?"

"No, damn it… she always tells me she's fine. I knew better. My gut told me something wasn't right, but I had no reason to doubt her."

The room fell silent and I could hear pacing feet across the shaggy brown carpet. Taking advantage of the pause, I decided to enter the room.

"Edward, I didn't know you were here." Crossing the room, I pulled him into a hug and gripped his hand. "Sorry I took so long. We should get going."

Edward was struggling to try and force me to look him in the eye. Refusing, I pulled on his hand, heading toward the door. Looking over my shoulder, I met Charlie's eyes and gave him an evil glare. I would talk to him about sharing my business later.

Edward opened the door for me and helped me into my seat. I took a hard stabilizing breath. I knew he wouldn't let me fool him anymore. He sat silent for a moment after starting the engine.

"You lied to me." It wasn't a question; he was stating a fact.

"Yes," I whispered.

"Why? Don't you trust me, Bella? If this is going to work you're going to have to learn to trust me." His voice was soft but stern.

Tears escaped my eyes and my hands began to tremble. "I do trust you. I trust you more than anyone in the whole world. But, I didn't want to be weak. I thought it would just go away."

"How often?"

"Every night."

"When was the last time you left the house without me?" His fingers gripped tightly around the steering wheel and he had yet to look at me.

"The morning it happened." I felt submissive, wringing my fingers in my lap.

"You have to talk to someone. I want to fix this myself, and I know you want to do it yourself, but we can't."

Sobs escaped my eyes. "Yes, I can, just give me more time."

Finally, he turned towards me. "Bella, this doesn't make you weak, honey. This makes you normal. If it didn't affect you, then I would think something was wrong with you." His knuckles rubbed along my cheek that was now only a slight yellow where James had hit me. "Will you do it for me, please? I'll go with you; we'll have Carlisle recommend someone."

Still crying, I just nodded my head.

"Thank you, we'll work together on this. I've felt all along this has been hard on you, and have been waiting for you to open up to me. I've missed you these last few days. You were here, but not my Bella."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just trust me."

"I do."

He leaned over and kissed my cheek and then turned his head toward the road. "We need to go; they're going to be waiting for us."

Quickly, I pulled the visor down and opened the mirror, trying to redeem the mascara I'd applied. Once I was done, I leaned back in my seat. "I want to tell you something, but you can't laugh."

"Sorry, no guarantees."

"Well, you know how I mentioned writing a book?" He nodded his head and let a smile spread across his face. "I had a dream today while I was taking a nap and it was of me and you. Nobody's ever written a story like ours before, so I thought I could."

"Are you serious?"

"I think so."

"Are you worried about all of your readers falling in love with me?" He was barely able to get his words out, trying to contain his laughter.

My arm darted out and whacked him on the stomach. "I don't think that will be a problem since I'm starting back when we were kids."

Edward sucked his breath in between his teeth. "Are you sure anyone wants to read that."

"I think so. I want girls to know that relationships aren't perfect, the way authors and Hollywood portray them. Ours will end in a happily ever after but it took a long time to get here."

"It was worth it." He jumped out from the car since we were now sitting in the parking lot of the pizza joint.

"Edward, Bella," Esme called, waving us over to a long table across the back wall.

We were the first of the siblings to arrive. We sat down across from Carlisle and Esme after kissing them hello.

"How are you doing, sweetie?" Esme asked, rubbing my hand that lay on the red and white checkered table cloth.

"I'm fine."

"Bella," Edward whispered in a warning tone. My eyes darted to him filled with panic.

"Bella, what's going on?" Carlisle asked in a fatherly voice.

With Edward's hand holding mine, I told Esme and Carlisle what I had just told Edward. Esme continued to rub my other hand.

Carlisle interrupted the silence. "Bella, I have someone that I think you would feel comfortable talking too. You need to move on with your life and as long as you let this consume you, you can't do that. You will be pleasantly surprised how easy it will be to talk to someone and how quickly they will help you get past it. And of course, we're here for you if you need anything."

"Thank you, I'm so lucky to have you guys." I wiped at the tear that escaped my eye.

"When is Charlie leaving?"

"Um, he actually should be leaving now. They needed to wait until Sue closed her shop."

"Well, then you come stay with us tonight," Esme offered.

Edward's arm slipped behind my shoulder. "Actually, I was going to see if Bella wanted to stay with me."

"Well, tomorrow's a holiday. I would love it if you both came and stayed with us tonight. Everyone else is."

Edward looked toward me for approval, and I nodded at him enthusiastically. I hoped that he was okay with that. Edward nodded his head at Esme and she let out an Alice like squeal.

Shortly after, the family started to trickle into the parlor. We had fun laughing and joking together. Nobody brought up the attack, which I was grateful for. Our family devoured seven pizzas, five pitchers of soda, three loaves of garlic bread, and four salads for the ladies. Once we were thoroughly stuffed, we rolled ourselves out of the restaurant. I was so grateful to be a part of this group and felt blessed they considered me family. My most secret desire was that someday they would legally be.

Edward took me back home to pack some clothes for the weekend. Tonight we would stay at his parents, but the rest of the weekend we would stay at his place. He asked me to pack my running clothes so we could run together the next couple of days. I knew he was trying to help me get passed the situation. I just hoped it worked and I didn't have a nervous breakdown in front of him.

The Cullen house was fairly quiet once we arrived and Esme quickly showed us to the guest room we would be staying in— Edward's old bedroom. Flashbacks of all my high school fantasies of one day staying in Edward Cullen's room with him went through my mind.

Edward's arms wrapped around my waist and his lips pressed against my neck. "What are you thinking?"

"I can't believe I'm sleeping in 'Edward Cullen's' bedroom."

Edward threw his head back and laughed. "Silly girl, let's get ready for bed."

After going through our nightly routines, we both slid under the covers of his old plaid, Nautica bedding. Our bodies gravitated toward each other in the center of the bed and Edward pulled my back against his chest, nestling his face in my neck.

"I'm so glad you're here with me," he whispered.

"Me too. Except, it felt weird having Esme put us in the same room together. What if she thinks we are going to do it?"

Edward started to laugh. "Bella, I'm sure she might assume that."

I turned my head moaning into the pillow.

Still laughing, he leaned over to my ear. "Do you want me to go and tell her we aren't?"

"Don't you dare." I smacked him. "Don't make fun of me."

"I love you. Now, go to sleep. We're running early in the morning."

I took a shaky breath, wondering if I was ready for that.

**Author Notes:**

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you in the states!

I just wanted express a special thank you, this holiday week, for all of you who read and support my little story. Some of you have followed and reviewed this story since the beginning and it has meant so much to me. I am extra grateful this thanksgiving season for the opportunity I have had to attempt to develop a talent, through this fandom. The friendships I have created through this amazing world we call Twilight have meant so much. Thank you Lynelle, Angie, Erika, and Kindra, for all of your efforts and time you have put into this fiction.

Make my holiday and leave me a review… Please!!


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Notes:**

Not Mine!

Thank you to my super beta Lynelle, I love that girl like crazy!

**Thanksgiving Day**

Beep, Beep, Beep

Quietly, I hurried and flipped open my cell phone, silencing the alarm that Edward had set last night, hoping it wouldn't wake him. Knowing that running had always been my way of sorting things out in my head, Edward suggested we I run this morning. I knew it was always a source of clarity, and I always felt better afterward. He said it was like that whole getting back on the horse after you've been kicked off thing, too. He was probably right, but just because he was right didn't mean it was easy. I'd been laying in bed the last hour dreading the moment the alarm would sound. I spent the time awake debating whether or not I could do this. Of course my fears screamed don't do it. What if James somehow was on the streets and wouldn't stop this time? What if someone else was out there? The stronger side of me knew Edward was right, running would make me feel better and maybe it would help me get past this. Plus, Edward would be with me. He would never let anything bad happen to me.

My thoughts were interrupted by Edward's beautiful voice in my ear. "How long are we going to lay here?"

I cringed knowing he had probably been awake the whole time my mind was having its own private argument. "Um… I was going to get up, right now."

"Sure you were. Was that after you so stealthily tried to shut off the cell phone without waking me? Or, when you laid here motionless for the last twenty minutes hoping we'd sleep in too late to run?" Edward pushed himself up on his elbow, so he was now looking down on my face.

"Don't look at me like that."

"It's okay if you're scared Bella. And if you really don't want to do this, we don't have to."

"No, I know that I need to do this. I might as well get it over with."

"Are you sure?" He asked, leaning over and kissing my lips.

I nodded my head yes and slid from the bed. I could hear Edward getting out of the bed behind me and digging into his bag. Hurrying through my bag, I pulled out all of my running clothes and shoes. As I stood up and turned around, my jaw hit the floor. There on the other side of the bed was Edward in all of his— should have been an underwear model— glory. His back was toward me, with only a pair of boxer briefs covering his perfectly rounded backside. It was as if he was moving in slow motion as he eased up his running pants. A soft whimper escaped my mouth as I watched his back muscles flex with each of his movements. Edward's head looked over his shoulder at me, and a wide smirk covered his face.

"What's got you so down Bella?"

Reaching for my clothes I shook my head, turning a nice shade of red. "Nothing."

"You want me to take them back off for you? All you have to do is ask."

"You're such a jerk," I snapped, as I shut the bedroom door behind me. I could hear him laughing down the hallway.

A short while later, Edward and I were both on the huge, wrap-around porch, stretching. The nerves in my stomach were on hiatus.

"How are you hanging in there?" Edward asked as he held onto his foot, behind him, stretching out his quads.

"I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack."

"Come here, let me help you stretch."

Immediately I walked over to Edward knowing just being near him always made me feel better. He turned me around by my shoulders, facing me away from him. He grabbed onto my wrists pulling them up and behind me, stretching out my chest and shoulders. His gentle but firm touch was soothing.

"Bella, we really don't have to do this if it's going to upset you."

"No, I want to do this. I have to eventually."

"I am going to be here every second. I'm going to follow your lead. You let me know what you need from me. If you want me next to you, I'll be there. If you want space, I'll give it to you. Just tell me what you need. If you want silence, I'll be mute. If you need noise, I can serenade you some NSYNC."

He was always so good at calming me down and making me want to laugh in a moment as scary as this. Turning around to face him, I looked up at him letting a smile come over my face. "I need you to kiss me right now."

His adorable crooked grin flashed, "Gladly." Then his lips were on mine.

Slowly he backed me up against one of the large white columns. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist, as our lips danced together. My legs always became weak when he kissed me this way. I knew if I was going to run, we had to stop. I pulled away both of us gasping for air. The passion between Edward and me was so consuming, I wondered if we did get married and I did sleep with him, if I would be able to handle the magnitude of what he could do to me.

Looking up at the most perfect man on earth, I felt at ease. "I'm ready now. Run with me."

Edward nodded with his cute grin and he started down the steps.

"So, why don't we try quiet and you run behind me. The solidarity and my music is really what help me clear my head." I was worried I might have hurt his feelings. "Is that okay?"

"Whatever you want, go ahead, I'm right behind you." His gorgeous green eyes gave me a quick wink causing my heart to leap.

_Wow, how did I get so lucky?_

I lost myself for a moment thinking about how nice it would be to climb in that old tree house in the backyard with him instead of running. I could be killing two birds with one stone, avoiding the run and burning off some serious pent up energy.

"Bella?"

Edward's voice pulled me from my thoughts and I gave him a quick smile and took off up the driveway. A few seconds later, I could hear Edward's feet start to move behind me. My heart started to thud in my ribcage and I wasn't sure why. I shuffled through my iPod looking for the perfect song to get me happy, motivated, and my adrenaline pumping all at the same time. I hit play once I found Taylor Swift's, "You Belong With Me." A smile spread across my face as I sang the lyrics, realizing how much this song reminded me of Edward and me. My pace picked up and my spirits lifted.

Finally, finally I was back to a normal run. I felt my body stretching, hitting its rhythm, and getting the exercise it so desperately needed. My mind was scrolling through things so quickly and clearly. The happiness I'd been feeling with my progressing relationship with Edward coursed through my soul. These thoughts triggered a brainstorm of circulating thoughts and images for my book. The book, in turn, reminded me of finding a place of my own and establishing myself here in Forks. My mind was on a roll making plans, clearing my mind, relieving worries, and getting me into a good place. I was in my own perfect world.

Then it all came crashing back down. The battery of my iPod died. The silence in my ears caused my mind to only process the sound of footsteps running behind me. Panic took over all logic. I bolted into a dead sprint trying to escape the predator following me.

"Bella?!" Edward's voice called out nervously.

My feet came to a halt at the sound of Edward's voice, in the same moment I felt his strong arms snake around my waist. I felt so utterly ridiculous, wondering how I could have forgotten Edward was behind me.

"Bella, baby?" I didn't respond, just took a long breath trying to push down the lump in my throat. Edward's soothing voice continued, "Are you okay?"

Defeat and humiliation consumed me. How had I let James change me? How did I let him make me so weak? This was not me, I don't let people control what I think or do. Why was this any different, and why was I letting Edward witness me unable to control my emotions and fears?

Edward turned me in his arms so I was now facing him. I was too embarrassed to look at him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest.

"What happened, sweetheart? One minute you're singing Taylor Swift and Muse, running better than I've ever seen you run. Then the next thing I know you completely stiffen up and you take off in a sprint." I could hear the concern in his voice and I felt horrible. This was not what he had signed up for. It was not his job to take care of some weak woman.

"I'm so sorry." I refused to look up at him. I kept my face in my hands. "I was running and listening to my music, completely in my element. My mind was on overdrive, the music was getting me excited. It felt like it did before and I forgot you were even with me. Then the music stopped and I was suddenly aware of the sounds of someone running behind me. I panicked; I thought I was being chased." The sobs began to escape, and Edward's hand rubbed soft circles in the small of my back while the other held onto the back of my head.

"I pushed you too soon, I'm sorry, Bella. Let's get you home." I didn't like that my reaction was making Edward feel guilty and defeated.

Suddenly I was full of anger, not toward him, but toward myself. "Don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong." I shoved off of his chest and turned away from him wiping at my face with my sleeve. "I should be stronger than this." I started to pace the pavement, in front of him, vigorously running my fingers through my hair.

Edward's deep voice broke through my nerves. "Do you want to scream?"

"What?!" I snapped whipping around in his direction, confused by his offer.

"That day when we were running and you were frustrated, you went into the woods and screamed. It seemed to make you feel better. That or, you could punch me." He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

The partial smile that crept on my face was uncontrollable; he always was able to make me feel better regardless of the circumstances. He was even willing to let me use him as a punching bag.

"Come on," Edward said as he reached over and grabbed a hold of my hand.

The next thing I knew we were running down a small hill heading toward a wooded area that lined the river that ran behind the Cullen home. We stopped at the edge of the river, no houses in sight.

"Do it."

My eyes looked at him wearily.

"Do it, you'll feel better. Watch… "

Then before I knew what was happening, Edward was screaming out a steady stream of obscenities as he described acts of violence with James's name thrown in every once in a while. A small giggle escaped my mouth as I watched how ridiculous he looked.

Edward quieted for a moment and then looked over at me. "See, I feel better. Now you try."

Hesitantly, I turned away from him and let out a small scream.

"Come on, I know you can do better than that. Just let it all go."

I screamed, no words, just screaming. Then the words started to fall from my mouth. "I HATE YOU, JAMES! I HATE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY LIFE! I HATE THAT YOU'VE MADE ME WEAK AND SCARED OF MY OWN SHADOW. I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL YOU PSYCHOTIC BASTARD! I WANT MY LIFE BACK!" And Edward was right, I instantly felt a little better. A smile filled my red face and I turned around looking for Edward.

Edward stood ten feet behind me, arms crossed over his chest, with a wicked grin on his face. "You feel better don't you?"

Nodding my head I strode over to him throwing myself in his arms. "Thank you. How did you get so perfect?"

A low chuckle left his mouth. "I'm far from perfect, Bella. I've just had a lot of screaming moments in my life and I know it feels good to let it go."

We were both silent a moment just enjoying our tight embrace.

"Bella, can I tell you something?"

"Yeah."

"I have to admit; watching you scream like that was kind of hot."

Pushing off of his chest I shook my head. "You've been hanging out with Emmett too much. Let's go, I'll race you back."

With that we both took off running along the river, following it toward the Cullen's. I was determined to beat him. Once the house was in my sight, I pushed harder than I had in a long time and it felt good. I was crossing the back lawn with Edward hot on my heels. The porch steps were a mere fifteen feet away, when Edward grabbed onto my waist pulling me down onto the lawn with him.

"You didn't think I would let you beat me did you?" His raspy voice whispered into my frigid ear as his body rolled over mine.

"You are such a cheater," I panted, trying to catch my breath from my sprint. Using all of my strength I tried pushing him off of me. This of course, only caused him to laugh harder.

"Nah, I could beat you if I wanted. I just don't want to watch you throw a tantrum and slam the door in my face again, although that was quite entertaining."

"You really love to irritate me don't you?"

"Old habits die hard. Except now it is laced with love," his voice dripped with sarcasm. The evil smile playing at the corners of his mouth didn't help.

"Let me go."

"Make me."

Using anything I had left I started squirming and shoving. Edward of course ended it quickly as he pushed me back down on my back and straddled my lap, pinning my hands above my head. "Are you trying to punish me, because this is actually really enjoyable for me?"

"I hate you," I spat trying to maintain an angry face.

"No you don't, you love me, remember?" He spoke softly as he lowered his lips to my neck. Who was I to try and fight him, when I knew he was right.

I let Edward have his way with me a little longer as his lips assaulted my face and neck. His lips were still brushing against my neck as he spoke, "I'm glad you're here with my family today."

"Really?" I questioned.

Edward's head quickly pulled away from my neck staring into my eyes, with his brows scrunched together. "Of course I am. Why would you question that?"

"Because, Alice was the one who invited me and not you."

Lifting himself off of my body, he sat next to me running his fingers through his hair. "I know, I feel like a jerk for that. I just assumed you would be going with Charlie and Sue. In all honesty, it was just a total guy mistake. I didn't really think about it, with everything going on and then the holiday just crept up fast. Thanksgiving plans never even occurred to me. You have to know I want you here." Leaning over he tucked a stray hair behind my ear and pulled a leaf from the nest behind my head.

Raising myself to my knees, I kissed his lips. Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. I turned my head into his, smelling his hair. I wanted to keep the smell of Edward in my senses all of the time. Some movement on the porch caught my attention. My eyes darted over to the distraction. Three tiny girls stood on the porch trying to hide behind the swing.

I slid my head far enough back to align my mouth with Edward's ear. "We have an audience on the porch."

Without moving Edward asked, "Would it be a nosey little pixie, or three of the cutest little girls on the earth."

"The cuter ones," I whispered.

His smile was evident as I felt his cheeks rise against my own. "Do you know what I want to do, Bella? I really feel like I have to tickle somebody," Edward announced loudly, making it obvious he was no longer talking to me.

"Well, don't get me." I yelled back and took off running for the porch.

Little giggles erupted from the swing and Edward stopped his chase after me.

"What was that?" He feigned ignorance.

"I don't know. I think it came from the porch. Maybe it was a monster."

"Don't worry Bella, I'll tickle the monster to death," he growled as he charged the porch. Just then, three tiny screaming girls jumped from behind the swing and started running the opposite direction on the giant porch.

Edward and all three girls disappeared around the corner. Edward was running, roaring, and arms flailing; the girls screeching, begging him not to get them.

Laughs escaped my own mouth as I watched my childish boyfriend, making me love him even more. He really was perfect and I wondered how I got so lucky. Day dreams took over my mind of Edward chasing our own little ones around; me watching and laughing with a belly round with child. A shiver ran through me as the cold air seeped through my clothes. Shaking my head from my dreams, I ran up the stairs and headed for a nice hot shower.

Quickly I dried off and dressed. On my way into the house from the run, I saw that Esme was already in the kitchen working like a busy bee so I wanted to hurry so I could help. I was sitting on the edge of the bed pulling on my socks when the door burst open, and sweaty Edward stood in the doorway. A look of disappointment covered his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing, I thought I'd open the door and catch you naked, or at least in only a towel."

My shoulders shook with laughter. "Sorry to disappoint you. You are such a dork, you know that?" I asked walking toward the sulking man in the doorway. "I'm going to go help your mom. It looks like you could use a shower."

"Yes, I could." He kissed my forehead then walked into the bedroom.

"Who won?" My eyes followed him into the room as he pulled his shirt off.

"They did. But it wasn't fair; their dad came to the rescue."

"Awe, poor baby," I chuckled. "I'll see you downstairs."

The Cullen kitchen in itself was a work of art with its top of the line appliances; the room was bigger than Charlie's house, the brightness from the many windows, and Esme's impeccable decorating taste. Esme, Alice, Rosalie, and I spent the afternoon cooking away. It didn't feel like work at all. I loved these women, they really were my family. We told stories, laughed at memories, and almost fell over in hysterics as Esme and Rosalie gave Alice some hilarious marriage advice. Alice had set the table with fine china, and made it look like a picture in a Martha Stewart magazine. Rosalie had baked the most beautiful and aromatic pies I had ever experienced. Esme's homemade rolls, cornbread stuffing, golden turkey, and perfectly smooth gravy left me salivating. And, if I was being honest, I was impressed with my sweet potato casserole, salad, and mashed potatoes. Granted I was given the easiest jobs, but I still held my own.

"Bella, do you want to call everyone to the table? I think we're ready," Esme asked.

"Of course." I jumped from my perch on the barstool and headed to the living room where the sound of football filled my ears.

"Dinner's ready, boys." It took only a second before they were all leaping from their chairs and heading for the table.

"About freaking time, I'm starving!" Emmett yelled.

As we approached the table, Edward's arms snaked around my waist.

"Wow, you women have out done yourself," Carlisle said, as he pulled out a chair for Esme.

"I can hardly wait. The table looks beautiful, love." Jasper kissed Alice on the cheek guiding her to her seat by the small of her back.

Edward pulled out my chair and sat next to me. His hand squeezed my thigh. "This looks great."

Once the girls came in and were seated, Carlisle offered a word of prayer and then the digging in began. Once all of the dishes were done being passed around, Carlisle set down his fork and cleared his throat.

"All right everyone. It's time to start the Cullen family tradition." There were some grunts and groans around the table. Even though they were all adults they still whined like they did as kids. "Enough. I'll start. I'm thankful to be surrounded by all of my family and the reassurance that you are all happy. That's all I have ever hoped for." He looked toward Esme, nodding that it was her turn.

Esme smiled and wiped her face with her napkin, then replaced it back in her lap. "I'm thankful for a husband who loves me and leads our family." Her eyes turned toward Carlisle. "You have given me a life I could have never even dreamed of. I am blessed to have had you for thirty five years." They both stared into each other's eyes as if they were having a private conversation. Normally this is something that would nauseate me but for some reason it made me smile. Carlisle held Esme's hand in his and then turned toward Emmett.

Emmett cleared his throat and a wicked grin came over his face. "I'm grateful that Rosalie and I are both so good looking and make such gorgeous babies… since we are having another one."

Gasps erupted from all around the room. All eyes turned toward Rosalie's blushing face, and then toward Emmett's beaming smile as he wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulder. Congratulations were called from all around the table. Alice and Esme jumped up from their seats and ran around the table to hug the expecting couple.

Once everyone was seated, Rosalie started to speak. "I guess it's my turn. I'm thankful for my beautiful girls, who make me happy every day. I'm also grateful for Emmett's job promotion that makes him so happy."

Emma jumped in, "My turn, my turn. I'm grateful for my best friend Sarah."

Mia was bursting, waiting for her turn. "I'm grateful for my beautiful dress Mommy let me wear at dinner." The whole table began laughing at her innocence and honesty.

Alice leapt to her feet, and made sure she had everyone's attention. "Well, I am thankful for Jasper." She looked down adoringly at her soon to be husband. "I can't wait to be your wife." Then she looked up at the rest of us. "I'm also grateful for my parents for giving me my dream wedding and for all of you for putting up with me when I tend to be a little bridezillaish."

"A little?" Emmett questioned covering it with a fake cough. Everyone let out a small laugh that ended with an Alice glare.

"Your turn Jasper," Alice said as she sat back down.

"I'm grateful for Carlisle and Esme for raising such an amazing woman, who has made my life better than I had ever expected. Thank you for giving her to me, I'll do my best to make her happy for the rest of her life." Again this is something that would make bile rise in my throat but for some reason right now, it was sweet.

"Awe, Jazz," Alice crooned nuzzling into his neck.

"I think you're going to make my pregnant wife throw up." Emmett said, slouching down into his chair.

"Emmett," Carlisle warned.

Edward leaned forward on his elbows. "I guess it's my turn. I don't know where to start. I'm grateful for my parents giving me the life I wish every person could experience. I'm grateful to Emmett, for taking care of Bella. I am grateful to Rosalie who gave us three, almost four little girls that light up my life. I'm grateful for Alice for meddling in my life to help me open my eyes. I am grateful for the wisdom Jasper brings to our family. Most of all I'm thankful for Bella's patience with me, while I figured out what all of you already knew. She has accepted me into her life and made me as happy as I have ever been."

My heart was so full and I could feel my face reddening. I wasn't used to Edward talking to me this way in front of other people. It felt good. My eyes couldn't leave his gaze.

Finally, he winked at me. "It's your turn, love," he whispered.

My palms started to sweat, and my heart started to pound against my ribcage. I had barely gotten used to telling Edward how I felt about him, there was no way I could say it in front of a group, and he was really what I was thankful for this year. My nerves were like live wires and I wanted to slump down under the table. Since all eyes were on me, I knew I needed to talk.

"I'm thankful that my dad has recovered so well and I am thankful for all of you for being the family I'd always wished I had. You have all been so accepting and loving to me. I don't know how I would have made it through these transitions in my life without you."

Everyone was casting smiles in my direction, except Edward. He looked crushed. I felt horrible, but I couldn't talk about my feelings for him in front of everyone, it was personal. I'd have to explain later.

Dinner was spent talking about the upcoming wedding and Rosalie and Emmett's baby. Emmett of course wanted a boy but Rosalie informed him that she always knew he would be a father of all girls. After dinner everyone piled into their cars to go see a movie. The Cullens had a family tradition of going to see a Christmas movie Thanksgiving evening. We were seeing Disney's _A Christmas Carol_, but it was a little scary for the girls. Rosalie and Emmett took them home thirty minutes after it started. After the movie, we went back to the Cullen's for pie. The pies were just as divine as they smelled. Shortly after pie, Edward said he was tired and heading to bed.

Without hesitation I jumped up and followed him. Edward had been pretty quiet all night. Not pouting or sulking, just less talkative than he normally was. I knew I had done this and I knew I needed to fix it. Once Edward was finished in the bathroom I hurried in to get ready for bed. By the time I came back into the bedroom, Edward was already in bed. He had turned off all the lights except the lamp on my bedside.

I padded across the plush beige carpet and slid between the soft white sheets. Scooting across the bed until I was pressed up against Edward, I wrapped my arms around him. He covered my hand with his but still faced the other way. I felt like a hole was in my chest, not having him talk and be affectionate with me.

"Edward, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not telling your family how I felt about you."

"It's alright."

"No, it's not." I pulled on his shoulder forcing him on his back so he would look at me. "I should have told everyone I'm thankful for you."

"There aren't any rules about what you have to say, Bella. You said what you're thankful for and that's fine."

"But I didn't say what I am thankful for, I mean I am thankful for those things. But what my whole heart is thankful for is you."

"Bella you don't have to say that. Don't say things out of obligation—"

My fingers covered his mouth. "Look Edward, it took me years to tell you how I feel about you. That was huge for me. I am Charlie's daughter and we don't express our emotions well. Saying how I feel to you is one thing, saying it in front of a room full of people is another thing. I'm not there yet. I know your family has no problem saying how they feel all the time, but that is not a gift I've been blessed with."

Edward slid my hands off of his mouth. "I get it. Thanks for explaining that to me."

"I'm not done."

Edward smirked, "I'm sorry, go ahead."

"What I feel toward you and how grateful I am for you, it's intimate. What I feel is so strong it should only be meant for you to hear. You, Edward Cullen, are everything I have wished and hoped for my entire life. You make me feel really alive for the first time, and I am completely comfortable in my own skin with you. Finding out that you love me is like having every birthday and Christmas present from my whole life combined into one moment." Edward's grin continually spread with every word I spoke. My skin turned a nice shade of burgundy as I thought of what I would say next. "You have stirred feelings in me, Edward that I started to wonder if I'd ever feel. No man has ever made me desire them like I desire you." I didn't think his grin could get wider but it did. Edward grabbed my hips and pulled me on top of him. "I think about you constantly. My dreams, day and night, revolve around a future with you. Getting married, having babies… and making babies. I've always felt insecure about my sexual standing, but now that I have you and I know what I am going to be able to offer you, makes me feel proud of who I am. You were worth the wait. I love you, Edward Cullen, more than I thought I was capable of loving someone. Don't ever wonder about that just because I have a hard time saying it. I'm not going anywhere, you're stuck whether you like it or not and I feel like I've been blessed beyond what I deserve."

"Are you done yet?"

"Yes," I answered starting to feel slightly insecure.

"Good." Before I could worry about his response, his lips were on mine.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next three days I stayed at Edward's place. Unfortunately he was never there. Edward was working a ton of hours. He was usually gone when I woke up, and didn't come home until I was ready to pass out. We would sit and talk together while he ate dinner and then we would lie in bed and talk until neither of us could keep our eyes open.

Most of my days were spent with Alice getting all of the final wedding preparations done. She was getting married on Friday. We went to her final dress fitting and she looked breathtaking. We picked up her grandparents from the airport, hit the tanning beds, picked up the wedding programs, and finished making the wedding favors. I couldn't believe how quickly the day was arriving. I was so happy for Alice. She and Jasper were perfect for each other. She said they both knew they would get married the second they met. I bet it was frustrating for them to watch how long it took Edward and me to get it figured out.

As much as I loved Alice and wanted to help her with anything I could, I was ready to step away from all of the wedding stuff. I was thrilled when Jake called me yesterday and asked if I would meet him for lunch today. I hadn't seen Jake for a while and I was excited to catch up with him. He was really the only friend I had here that wasn't a Cullen.

As I pulled up in front of the local coffee shop, Jake came bounding over from his truck. As soon as my feet hit the gravel and dirt, I was being pulled into a tight hug.

"Hi, to you too," I was barely able to gasp out; I was being squeezed so tight.

"Sorry," he said as he released his hold on me. "I've missed you. Come on let's go inside its freezing." Jake grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the restaurant.

We made small talk as we looked through our menus. How was work, what happened with James, how was our Thanksgiving. The waitress came over and took our orders and brought me my delicious Dr. Pepper.

"I think you need to see a therapist about your love for a carbonated beverage."

"I'll be sure to add it to my list of things to talk to him about."

A confused expression covered Jacob's face and then a slight grin came over his face. "What? Are you and the perfect Edward Cullen having troubles?"

"Am I sensing some sarcasm? And, no we are doing fine." This was uncomfortable. I tried not to talk to Jacob about Edward. Mostly because I didn't want to make Jake feel bad; but also, because Edward had asked me not to."

"Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed."

"What does that mean?" I snapped.

"Nothing."

"What's your problem?" I was frustrated that I'd barely been with him and he was acting like a total jerk.

"I'm sorry. I'm just a little… I don't know… Tanya broke up with me the day before Thanksgiving."

This new development took me off guard. I knew how Jacob felt about me, but I didn't let it make it feel weird because he had a girlfriend. I mean that was the whole reason I could justify hanging out with him.

My mind flashed back to yesterday when I told Edward I was going to be meeting Jake for lunch. Edward was less than thrilled, but was trying to be understanding.

_I pulled on his scrubs, so he would stand in front of me. "Hey, look at me." I waited for his beautiful green eyes to meet mine. "I love you! Jake is just a friend. You know, I do need to have interaction with people that aren't Cullens." I squeezed him tight._

"_I know and I trust you Bella, I just don't trust him. I find it hard to believe he just wants to 'hang out' with you."_

"_Why is that?"_

"_Come on Bella, guys our age don't have girls that they just want to be buddies with if at some point we dated them."_

"_Sure they do."_

"_Really? How many adults do you see going to lunch with an ex while they are in a relationship?" I thought about what he was saying, and I hated that I couldn't think of a single example. "Trust me, I'm a man, I know when a man wants more than friendship… and Jake… he wants more."_

_A frustrated sigh left me. "I don't want to fight with you about this again. Look I understand your feelings, but Jake and I are both in very happy relationships. We are just friends, kindred spirits."_

_A burst of laughter escaped Edward's lips and his hold on me released. _

"_What's so funny?"_

_Edward was holding onto his stomach. "Isn't that from that stupid movie you and Alice used to watch over and over, when you were younger? Just tell him that that's what you think and he'll be heading for the hills."_

"_I don't know why that's so funny. Anne of Green Gables is a great movie and people can have a kindred spirit." My stubborn side kicking in as I crossed my arms over my chest._

"_No man wants to be put into any category relating to Anne of Green Gables." He continued his fit of laughter._

_I attempted to storm away from him but he pulled me back against his chest. He rested his chin on my shoulder and put his lips against my ear while he spoke. "I love you and I am relieved that you only think of Jacob as a kindred spirit," he was restraining his laughter. "I also trust you, but please be careful Bella. I'm telling you Jacob Black wants more than your friendship."_

"_I'll be careful, but I think you're wrong. He's happy with Tanya."_

Crap, not only was I in a crappy situation, but I am also going to have to tell Edward he was right. I hated it when that happened.

"I'm sorry, Jake, what happened?" The poor guy, he really cared about Tanya.

"She said that nothing had changed since she broke off our engagement. She loved me but was never going to marry me. She said she didn't see the point in pursuing a relationship if it wasn't going anywhere. Basically she used me as a rebound." Jacob stared at the table the whole time bending a straw in his hand the whole time.

"Wow, I didn't know Tanya had it in her to be so cruel."

Our waitress came by dropping off our food. My soup in a bread bowl looked like a drop of heaven on this cold day.

"She's not bad, Bella. Her heart was broken and she didn't want to be alone. We love each other so it was convenient to be there for each other, even though we both knew we were in love with other people."

My head snapped up at his last statement so quickly I think I got whip lash. Slowly his eyes moved up to meet mine.

"Come on Bella. Don't act surprised, you know how I feel about you."

My jaw hung so wide open I thought it might start resting on the table. "No, I thought you were in love with Tanya and we were just friends."

"I will be just your friend if that is all I can get." His voice was getting a little stern and his face looked a little angry. "I am just doing my time until you figure out that Cullen is no good for you."

"What are you talking about Jake?" I felt eyes around the diner flashing toward us. I lowered my voice. "Edward is good for me, no, he's perfect for me. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression but—"

Jake cut me off with anger in his voice. "When are you going to see what I already do?" I suddenly felt confused, _what was he talking about_? "You don't think it's a coincidence that he has known you his whole life and never once pursued you until now, suddenly that you and I are dating all of the sudden his eyes have been opened."

Desperately I was hanging onto everything I knew about my relationship with Edward. He did love me. But slowly the insecure side of me was seeping through my exterior. I always knew he was too good for me.

"Bella, Edward hates me. He took Tanya away from me and then he saw how happy I was with you and took that away from me too. He has to win. There aren't a lot of choices in Forks and he saw that you were the hot commodity here. Pretty soon I will date someone else or a new girl will move into town and he will move on." My heart was aching and pounding at the same time. Tears were prickling at the back of my eyes. These were all thoughts I had already had at the beginning of our relationship. My heart knew Jake was wrong; this was not my Edward he was describing. Logically, it didn't make sense that he would want me. It was true that he didn't even notice me until Tanya broke up with him. He does hate Jacob.

Edward's last words to me ran through my mind. _"I also trust you, but please be careful Bella. I'm telling you Jacob Black wants more than your friendship."_

Just thinking about Edward, gave me the resolve I needed. "You're wrong Jake, Edward loves me. I know you are hurting and lonely right now, but do you really want to risk our friendship right now? Right now, you are tinkering on a thin line. We can be friends Jake, I really want us to be friends, but that's all I want. I won't tolerate you trying to destroy my relationship with Edward. I also won't listen to you try and tear him down. Don't make me choose, because it will be him. It has always been him."

Jacob shoved his fists into his eyes, and then ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry, Bella. I don't know what got into me. Of course Edward loves you, he'd be crazy not to." His face was full of remorse. "But, Bella I want you to know that I'll be here on the sidelines just waiting for him to screw up."

This was so not how I saw lunch going. All I wanted to do right now was run to my car and go to Edward. I needed to be in his arms I needed the reassurance from him that he did love me. Keeping my eyes down on the bread bowl I ate my soup as quickly as possible.

Glancing at my watch, I realized I needed to leave so I could go and pick up Edward. We were meeting Sue and Charlie in Port Angeles for dinner.

"Jake I need to get going. I have to be in Port Angeles in two hours and I still need to go and pick up Edward."

Jake's hand darted out toward mine. "Bella, I'm really, really sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have said that. I hope we will still be friends."

"Of course, Jake." Deep down, I wasn't sure.

I gave Jake a quick hug good-bye and ran to my car. So many emotions were filling my chest. I was angry at Jake and at myself. How could I have let Jake's words question Edward's feelings for me? I was hurt that I was going to lose one of my only friends here and that he didn't think Edward could want me. My ego was crushed because I was going to have to admit that Edward was right. I was also anxious to see Edward and spend some time with him.

The rain had really started to fall now as I pulled up in front of the hospital and I dreaded exiting the truck. I pulled out my phone to text Edward and see if he was ready.

_Paging Dr Cullen, some girl that's totally in love with you is here to pick you up. Are you ready?_

It took a few minutes before he replied; I figured he must be with a patient.

_I'll be ready in ten minutes, I'm with a patient. I think you should call me Dr. Cullen more often._

The car was freezing and it had been fifteen minutes since Edward's text. Reluctantly, I grabbed my purse and jacket and exited my car. I ran across the parking lot to the hospital entrance. Hurrying through the hall, I headed toward Edward's office. As I rounded the corner, I saw Edward's door opening and an elderly man walking out. Close behind, in his white coat was the sexiest man alive. Edward was always beyond words good looking, but seeing him as Doctor Cullen was mouthwatering. He clapped his hand on the man's shoulder and the man walked away. Edward's eyes met mine at the end of the hall and a wide grin spread across his face. Quicker than normal, I hurried down the hall and was in his arms. I pulled him into his office and once the door clicked shut; my lips were magnetically pulled toward his.

Edward pulled away resting his forehead on mine as I pressed him further against the door. "What's gotten into you?"

"I don't know, I think it's the whole seeing you as Dr. Cullen combined with the fact that I have barely seen you this week has got me worked up. I've missed you."

"Me too, but the week is over for me now. We get to spend the rest of the week together. Well, me, you and all of my relatives, suffering through Alice's tyranny."

We both chuckled. We were both so happy for Alice and Jasper and their wedding this weekend, but we were ready for the wedding planning to be over.

Edward's face sobered up and he wrapped his arms around me tighter. "I didn't know my occupation did anything for you. Are you saying you want us to play doctor?"

"Stop," I said as I playfully pushed him away. My face was burning hot with embarrassment. "We need to get going. I don't want to keep Charlie and Sue waiting."

Edward finished some paper work, talked to his nurse and then we were able to leave. Edward drove my car; he thought he was a better driver. All he was better at was driving faster. I still let him drive though because I couldn't stand what a horrible back seat driver he was.

Charlie and Sue had gotten back into town this evening and Edward and I were going to have dinner with them in Port Angeles. It was weird to think that my dad would most likely be engaged when I saw him. I was really excited for my dad. I'd never seen my dad with a woman before, my mom was gone before I was able to remember her. His shyness always kept him from dating and meeting anyone. Seeing him so happy and knowing he would no longer be alone thrilled me. Sue brought out a side of my dad I'd never seen before. Having my dad be so openly loving these last couple of weeks was all thanks to Sue and the joy she brought to him.

We were only ten minutes away from the restaurant when Edward asked me a question that made my stomach curl. "How was lunch with your friend?"

My hands immediately started fumbling with each other. "Uh… it was okay."

"Bella," Edward's voice was firmer. "Why was it just okay?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now; we are almost at the restaurant." I refused to look over at him.

"Give me something Bella or you're going to have me worried all through dinner."

"You were right, okay! Now drop it." I could feel the smirk on his face and see his chest puff out. "Knock it off, or I'll smack you."

"Is that a promise?" He chuckled.

Crossing my arms over my chest I refused to even respond to that.

"Did he try anything?"

"No, he and Tanya broke up and he thinks he and I should be together. I told him that was never going to happen and that if he wanted to be friends he had to accept that I was with you."

Edward's smile radiated and he engulfed my hand in his.

"What, no gloating or rubbing it in my face that you were right?"

His face was practically beaming. "Oh trust me I will, but not while you're sad about it."

"Thank you."

Edward pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed it.

Dinner had gone really nicely. Sue told us all about her kids and the proposal. Charlie sat there with a proud smile on his face and his arm draped over the back of Sue's chair. It was so weird to watch, but in a good way.

Charlie cleared his throat and jumped in the conversation. "Bella, there's more. You see, neither of us wants a big wedding. We've both done it before. We are older and established in our homes. Neither of us has ever left the state of Washington and we would love to go to Hawaii and get married."

"Wow, Dad that's great."

"We are going to do it over Christmas."

"Uh, that's in a couple of weeks."

"Yeah, I know. We're flying Seth and Leah and her family out. I would really like it if you and Edward would come too."

My eyes darted over to Edward, and he gave me a slight nod and a smile.

"We'd love to come, Dad." I got up from my seat and made my way around the table to hug my dad and my soon to be step-mom.

I'd never been to Hawaii, I was really quite excited. This was very Charlie, not wanting a large group of people, just his family. Christmas was soon though and I didn't want Edward to feel pressured to be with me instead of his family for Christmas. I'd have to offer him an out later so he could stay home with his family if he wanted.

**Author Notes**

I know you all hate Jake, but he is hurting and being irrational. But aren't you proud of Bella for not getting insecure about her relationship?

What did you think? I've been sick for a month, please make me feel better and leave me a review.

If you aren't reading University of Edward Masen, you are so missing out.


	30. Chapter 30

Not mine, I just escape into SM's world for fun.

Thank you Nellers, you make me smile. Angie you are the fastest beta alive.

**Chapter 30**

**Alice's Big Day**

**BPOV**

Edward and I had just finished attending my second session with Dr. Volturi, my therapist. Edward had been right in suggesting I see someone professional to deal with the aftermath of James. Finally releasing all of my fears and paranoia to someone, and finding out it was normal for me to feel that way, helped me move past those fears. The doctor gave me techniques and daily mantras to use when my fears would surface. Edward had come with me to both sessions and was an amazing support system. It turned out he needed some therapy regarding some underlying anger issues toward the same nightmare I was dealing with. Edward would sit silently while the doctor counseled me through my venting, lying a comforting hand on me in my moments of sadness and need. Between our daily runs and my two counseling sessions, I was feeling almost back to my old self.

The only time I felt weak anymore was when I felt my strength to maintain my virtue slipping away between my fingers. Every time Edward looked at me with his beautiful green eyes, flashed me that crooked grin, brushed his fingers against my skin, held me against his hard body, or kissed me with more passion than I thought possible, I'd feel my hold slipping one thread at a time. I wondered sometimes if he knew exactly what he was doing and was plotting some evil design to torture me into submission.

During the Thanksgiving week, we spent the night together at his house. I had grown quite used to his companionship and sleeping in his arms. I'm not going to lie and deny I spent every minute in Edward's home pretending it was our home and that he and I were married. I wanted to kick myself for having those ridiculous school girl moments. All the pretending, however, made me realize I wanted it all. I wanted the house, the kids, a white picket fence, and a couple of dogs. As cliché as it sounded, I wanted domestic bliss with Edward. Since Charlie's return, I had gone back home and missed Edward desperately the past couple of nights. Even though we were running together every day and we ate dinner together most nights I still felt like I wasn't with him enough.

Now I would have to spend the night away from him at Alice's "Last Night as a Single Woman Girl's Retreat." I feared what Alice had in store for us this evening. At least there could not possibly be a single wedding errand left. It seemed if I wasn't with Edward, I was involved in something related to Alice's wedding. I don't think anyone in this small town could possibly dream the magnitude of this event. What Alice had planned was something which normally took place at The Plaza in New York, not in Forks Washington. It really would be the event of the year, for the good, old people of Forks. I think the whole Cullen family, especially Jasper, was ready for this to be done and over with.

"What's going through that beautiful head of yours?" Edward asked, interrupting my thoughts.

Drifting my head to the side against the gray leather seat, I looked at him with a sad smile. "Just wondering what kind of torture Alice is planning for the evening."

Edward laughed, and patted my knee. "It can't be any worse than anything she's done to you before."

"You're kidding, right? This is Bridezilla Alice we're talking about."

Edward sucked in a breath through his clenched teeth. "That's true, I'm sorry."

"We didn't even get to run today."

"We could hide out together for a couple of hours and then deliver you a little late."

"If you want to risk her wrath, by all means, I would like nothing better."

"Yeah, I guess it's probably not a great idea."

"What do the boys have planned for the evening?"

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "I think we're just ordering in some food and watching some football."

We both laughed at how pathetic that sounded.

"What? No strip clubs and getting wasted?"

"Well considering there aren't any strip clubs in the local vicinity, we're out of luck. Unless you're willing to perform?" Edward wagged his eyebrows at me, and I slugged him. "Owe! What? You want to wait until I'm your only audience?" I slugged him again. "Okay, okay. We would be in some serious trouble if anyone was hung over tomorrow, so that omits the 'getting wasted' part. In the morning we're going to go for a round of golf as long as it doesn't rain. I don't think the rain gods want to mess with Alice, so it should be pretty dry tomorrow."

Edward slowed to a stop in the driveway in front of the Bed and Breakfast the wedding was being held at. The lush green acreage that surrounded the beautiful white mansion sloped down toward the ocean, canopied by weeping willows, was absolutely breathtaking as the sun set deep into the ocean at the edge of the grounds.

"Wow, this is going to be a beautiful wedding, isn't it?" I spoke, unable to take my eyes off the landscape.

"It'll be beautiful, but it's also going to be freezing."

Shaking my head vehemently, I said, "Alice has it covered. The reception's being held in transparent silk tents to protect us from the wind without losing the ambiance of the moonlight. There'll also be heat lamps throughout the tents. This is going to be the biggest and most beautiful wedding event most of us will ever see in real life."

"Until ours, if that's what you want." I could feel my face starting to turn ten shades of red. I knew Edward thought we were getting married and I knew I hoped for it, but it still felt weird for him to speak so matter-of-factly about it so early in our relationship. "Is that what you want, Bella?" he asked, sliding further down in his seat and lacing his fingers with mine.

My mind mulled over this option as I sat silently staring out the front windshield.

"Are you wondering about a big wedding or about marrying me?"

Shaking my head from my thoughts and images, I looked over toward those big green eyes. "I want nothing more than to eventually marry you, but I don't want a big wedding like this."

A slight smirk hung on Edward's face as he asked, "Why not?"

"Well, for one, you know how much I like to be the center of attention. Second, I'm a very private person. My feelings are especially held close and not easily shared with others."

"No, you're kidding me," he gasped in mock horror.

"Shut up. Seriously though, my wedding will be one of the most intimate and sacred moments of my life. I wouldn't want to share that with anyone other than my family and those closest to my heart. Most girls dream about their dream wedding and gown, I never did."

"You had to have thought about it somewhat."

I shook my head. "Honestly, it never even crossed my mind until the last couple of years." That was a lie. I hadn't thought about it at all until he and I were together, but there was no way I'd confess that to him. "I imagine a quick elopement or going to a county courthouse for the ceremony and then somewhere intimate for a small celebration. I know, there must be something wrong with me, right?

"Not at all."

"Speaking of weddings, um… you know you don't have to go to Hawaii for Christmas if you don't want to." Edward and I hadn't discussed the trip to Hawaii since Charlie's invitation. Spending Christmas with me and not his family would be a big deal. The Cullens had a lot of traditions and loved their time together. I knew it would be a big loss for him to be without them. I didn't want him to feel obligated to be with me.

Edward scratched the back of his head as he stared out the windshield, a look of concentration on his face. "No, I want to go with you, it's just weird to think about being away from my family for Christmas, you know?"

"Well, I figured that was the case so I kind of have a plan. We fly out the Friday before Christmas with my dad and Sue's family. Sunday, Sue and Charlie get married. We spend a couple of days getting to know Sue's family and doing all the typical family vacation stuff and you can fly back to Forks on Wednesday, so you can be with your family for Christmas day on Friday." I was pretty proud of myself for figuring out a way for Edward to do this for me, but not give up his family time. However, he didn't look that excited.

Edward's eyebrows were pulled together with a look of concern. "You're not coming back with me?"

"Well, I didn't know if I was invited."

"I did already invite one of my other girlfriends, but I could save her for New Years and you could come for Christmas."

"No, that works out. I was planning on spending some alone time with a dark Polynesian guy after you left." We both laughed and then Edward's face turned full of intensity.

"Bella," Edward sighed, dragging his fingers through his hair. He then turned to face me as his fingers slowly grazed my jaw line, coming to a rest on my neck, just behind my ear. "When are you going to understand that you belong with me? Anywhere I go, I want you there."

My gaze fell from his and stared down at my twitting fingers. "I want you with me too, all the time."

"So, if it's all right with you, we'll go to Hawaii and come back together to have Christmas with my family."

I nodded my head in agreement. "It should be fine; Charlie isn't big on holidays so it shouldn't bother him that we leave."

Edward smiled and tugged on my neck. I easily took his encouragement and leaned forward, kissing his lips. Kissing Edward varied from kiss to kiss, and each one stirred a different emotion within me. This kiss was tender and soft and showed me how much he treasured me in his life.

"Bella, something you said in your session today bothered me. You said you've never needed anyone and you don't want to need anyone. Bella… I need you, desperately and… well… I want you to need me."

"I need you on so many levels already, Edward, and it scares the hell out of me. I don't know how my heart would survive if I didn't have you, but I don't want to be dependent on you financially, physically, or to even feel safe. I like to think I'm a strong person. I never want to be one of those women who finds a man and suddenly can't even form a coherent thought on her own. I want us to complement each other, not become dependent on one another."

"Bella, you can depend on me without becoming weak or losing who you are."

"Yeah, I'm not very good at that and I'm still trying to figure out the balance. Don't take it personally or underestimate how much you mean to me. This is just who I am."

"I know, and it's one of the things I love about you. Every other woman I've ever been with suddenly turns into who they think I want them to be the moment we start dating. They become this woman who can't make a decision or cross a street without me helping them along the way. One of the things that drew me to you is the way you challenge me and don't submit to my way of thinking just to appease me. At the same time, I also love taking care of you. I know it's probably some lame testosterone thing, but I enjoy protecting you and being able to care for your needs."

"I think that's the one thing that scares me. It's exactly what I was trying to say in therapy today; I've never needed someone and suddenly I'm feeling like I need you to survive and it scares me. I don't know if it's all because of the James situation or if it's because for the first time in my life, I've willingly handed my heart over to someone else."

"Let me take care of you and you can still put me in my place. It sounds to me like we're a pretty amazing match."

"I think so." I couldn't resist my urge to kiss him any longer. I leaned over the console grabbing onto the sides of his t-shirt with my fists. His crooked grin made an appearance as he grabbed onto both sides of my face and started attacking my awaiting lips.

We made out like teenagers for who knows how long. The windows were fogged, and the only sound was our heavy breaths and the crunch of leather seats as we moved across them trying to get comfortable and closer to each other.

_Bang, Bang, Bang!_

My blissful make out session was interrupted by an annoying Bridezilla. "Bella Marie Swan, this is girl's night. _My last_ girl's night! Get out of that car now! Edward Anthony Cullen, I knew I shouldn't have let you bring her up here." Edward and I pulled only inches away and started to laugh at the tantrum occurring outside the window.

"It's not funny!" I could just imagine her hands on hips and foot stomping on the ground.

"I should go. I don't want to take away from her day."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow night." He leaned in again and gave me a chaste kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Reluctantly, I leaned further away and opened the door, letting the cold air rush in, calming my raging hormones.

Before I shut the door, I asked him a favor. "Hey, will you promise me something?"

"That depends on the request."

"Will you promise me we'll never be one of those couples that only call each other by pet names, and say 'I love you' or 'baby' every other word?"

"Uh, yeah, I promise." His eyes widened questioningly and I saw a hint of humor as he fought back a laugh.

"Well… there will be some moments," I said licking my lips and trying to look seductive. "I won't mind a pet name or poetic word once-in-a-while, and I better get an 'I love you' at needed times, but if it happens constantly my gag reflex might weaken."

"All right pumpkin, I love you," he answered with an annoying smirk, and I slammed the car door.

Four hours, three sushi rolls, two Dr Peppers, and one mani/pedi later, the girls and I were lying around in our pajamas with facial masks watching _Father of the Bride_. It was completely cheesy, but completely Alice. We had just watched the part where the daughter tries on her wedding dress when Rosalie and Esme shared their stories of picking out their wedding gowns. Alice swooned over how she fell in love with hers as well. It was such a girlie moment, I almost couldn't stomach it. I knew my lack of enthusiasm over a wedding dress was odd. I mean, the way these women talked about their wedding dresses was the way women were supposed to be. There must've been something missing in my DNA because I just didn't think like other girls when it came to that stuff.

"Bella, what kind of dress do you want to have when you get married?" Esme asked.

"I haven't thought about it."

In return for that crazy response, I got a huge eye roll from Alice and a confused expression from Esme.

"Oh, come on Bella, you have to have an idea of what you want." Rosalie sounded exasperated at the idea of someone not knowing what kind of wedding dress they would want.

Knowing I would probably disappoint them if I confessed to the fact I hadn't thought about it, I tried to come up with something. "Well, I guess… something simple. I wouldn't want anything poufy or Cinderella like. No offense, Alice."

"None taken." She shrugged, not really caring what anyone else thought. They continued to sit there waiting for more of an explanation.

My mind was reeling, trying to think of a wedding dress I'd seen and liked or something that did sound appealing to me. "Something straight, floor length, with no train, I don't know… maybe something vintage looking, like from the early 1900s or something."

"Sounds perfect for you," Alice jumped in excitedly. "Can I make it for you?"

"Alice, I'm not getting married."

"Yet," she chimed, pointing her finger at me, all knowing. "So, can I make the dress?"

"Alice, it's ridiculous, I don't need a wedding dress. Besides, that was just an errant thought. I could totally change my mind by the time I get married."

"First off, you're getting married sooner than you think. Second, when I was bored working on my own dress, I sketched a dress for you and it's perfect for what you just described."

My mouth hanging slack, I stumbled out, "You've sketched a wedding dress for me?"

"Well… hey, I think it's time to clean off our masks." Alice jumped up from her perch on the bed.

"Stop right there, Cullen-soon-to-be-Whitlock. What are you hiding?" I asked trying to sound as stern as possible as I stood from the floor.

"Nothing, just… we… I may have done more than sketched a dress for you. I may have made it."

My face was turning a flame red and I could feel my quickening pulse under my skin.

"Bella, it's no big deal. Really, if you don't like it, I know I could sell it. If you do like it, it'll be my wedding present to you. But I already know you're going to love it." Just like that, she spun on her heels and headed into the bathroom.

Rosalie smirked at me and shook her head following her into the bathroom. Esme placed her arm around my waist. "Don't worry Bella, either you'll have one last thing to worry about when you plan your day, or we'll hide the dress for you."

Quickly, I ran over to my bag, grabbed my cell phone, and ran to the bathroom. I held up the phone in front of the mirror where Alice stood getting ready to wash her face. Her spiky hair being held back from her face by a dozen hair clips, in a major disarray. Her face was solid green with a seaweed, pore-reducing mask. Before she knew what was happening, I clicked the camera button.

Alice's eyes met mine. "What did you just do?"

"Nothing," I croaked as I ran out of the bathroom, scrolling through my contact list.

"Bella!" She screamed as she ran after me. We played a short game of cat and mouse until I had successfully sent the picture to Jasper.

I looked over at Alice with an evil smile and an innocent shrug. "I just wanted Jasper to see all of the work it takes for you to be as beautiful as you are.

"I hate you!"

"No you don't, but we can start to be even now."

She pouted and we all laughed when I showed them the picture. Once we were all done being beautified, we finished our process with the much needed beauty sleep as Alice so lovingly put it.

My body woke out of habit at six the next morning. Everyone else was sound asleep. I tiptoed from the bed and grabbed my phone from the table. I had one unread message.

_I'm sorry I got you in trouble. I miss your lips. I love you. Edward_

Never in my life had I felt as loved as I did by this man. My heart was more filled these last couple of months than it had been in all my life. I didn't want to respond with the typical 'I love you', so my mind was in over drive trying to convey to him how much he meant to me. I finally settled on something my Gran used to say to me when I was little.

_My cup runneth over. Bella_

Walking over to the large picture window, I slid my phone into my pocket. The sun was just rising over the woods, causing a shimmer to ripple across the water. Alice had picked such a serene location for this wedding. It was a little glimpse of heaven on earth. I was startled from my thoughts as I noticed movement behind me reflected in the window.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," Alice crooned as she stood beside me, wrapping her arms around my waist and laying her head on my shoulder.

"It's okay. I was just lost in thought." I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, hugging her back.

"I'm sorry I made a dress for you without talking to you about it. You don't have to use it."

"It's okay. Besides, I'm sure I'll love it. You're brilliant at what you do."

"Are you going to marry Edward?"

It was the first time she asked me that and didn't tell me I was going to. I was quiet for a moment and she didn't rush my answer which was quite unusual. "I want to. I hope so. He says we will."

"I'm going to be so lucky to finally have you as a sister. I'm sorry I've been crazy with the wedding. I feel like I haven't really been here for you."

"You're always here for me Alice. My whole life, you've always been here for me. You've always been the best friend I could have ever asked for."

Her tiny body was shuddering in my arms. "No, I wasn't there for all of the James drama. I haven't been there enough with everything going on with you and Edward. I have been completely self absorbed with this wedding. I'm sorry." A hiccupped cry escaped her.

"Well, because of you, I have Edward and he filled in where you went missing. I love you Alice, but you need to realize it's not your job to take care of me or make me happy. You're going to be a wife now and it's expected that he and your relationship will always come first. I'd never resent you for that."

"You're my best friend. I know my husband is supposed to be, and he is. It's just different, he could never be you and I'm scared when I get married I'll lose you."

Tears were now springing from my eyes. "I'm not going anywhere. The men in our lives could never fill the places we have in each other's hearts. Even if Edward and I don't get married, you will always be a sister to me."

The rustling of sheets behind us pulled us from our cherished moment. We both pulled away wiping our tears from our faces.

"You ready? It's your big day."

A smile with brilliance beyond that of the sun, shown across her face.

**EPOV**

An egotistical smile spread across my face as I watched my three hundred yard drive place my ball on the green. The only thought crossing my mind was _beat that suckers_. I turned around eyeing my brother, brother-in-law, and father with a smug face.

"When the hell have you been practicing?" Emmett grumbled.

Jasper gave me a congratulatory clap on the shoulder as we got into our golf cart heading toward the green. Today was going to be a great day, I could feel it.

We were on the twelfth hole waiting for the foursome ahead of us to move onto the next hole.

"When did you guys know it was the right time to propose?" I tried to look casual scratching the back of my neck.

Emmett jumped in, eager to respond. "When Rosalie told me I had to marry her and make an honest woman of her or she was moving on." We all burst into laughter knowing that was probably exactly how it happened.

"What about you Jasper?" I asked between laughs.

"I knew I would marry Alice within days of meeting her. But I knew I couldn't wait to ask her any longer when I actually had to live without her. She had to go to New York for fashion week after we'd been dating about six months. She was gone only one day and I felt like a part of me was missing. I felt this constant void that I couldn't fill. I proposed to her the day she got home."

I eyed my dad, waiting for him to tell me when he decided to propose to my mom. The foursome had finally moved on and Emmett stepped up to the tee.

"Are you thinking of proposing to Bella, Edward?" Dad asked. Suddenly, it felt as if all eyes were on me.

"I know I'm going to marry her. I've known since I realized I was in love with her. I'm just worried it's too soon. I don't want to freak her out. I'm just unsure of how I know when it's the right time to—"

We were pulled from any kind of conversation after Emmett sliced his ball into the trees and started throwing a fit. He cursed and threw his club out into the fairway.

"Emmett, could you please control your temper. I belong to this club and would like to be welcomed back," Dad sighed, shaking his head.

The proposal conversation didn't get brought back up. We talked about sports and the wedding and by the seventeenth hole, Jasper started to look nervous. I couldn't deny the envy I felt that Jasper had found his match and was starting his life with her today. I didn't envy him having to deal with my way too energetic sister for the rest of his life, but I wished it were me and Bella getting ready to say our vows, to completely tie our lives together—forever.

The rest of the day seemed to go by in slow motion. We had lunch at the club and then back at the hotel we all took a nap, knowing we had a long night ahead of us. I spent extra time showering and shaving, before putting on my tux.

Standing in the middle of the tent where the wedding would take place, I eyed all of the arriving guests. What a spectrum of people there were. It was easy to pick out all of the people from Forks compared to Alice's fashion friends from all over the world, and Jasper's family and friends from Texas and San Francisco. My eyes constantly darted from person to person searching for Bella. I was desperate to have her on my arm.

Somehow, I'd ended up cornered by Japer's aunt that spoke with a heavy southern drawl. She spent a half hour telling me all about the calf she had to help birth the previous week. My eyes desperately searched the crowd for someone to rescue me, when _she_ caught my eye. Bella stood at the entrance of the tent in a stunning gown. She was wearing blue, my favorite color on her, and her skin looked like a perfect combination of porcelain and peaches and cream with that color against the satin of her skin. The fabric gathered and crisscrossed across the bodice of her dress, with only a strap on her left side that draped sheer fabric down her back. The soft layered material flowed around her body all the way to the ground. She was breathtaking.

"Excuse me, Miss Whitlock, see that beautiful woman there in the blue?" I leaned into her, pointing in the direction of Bella.

"She's lovely."

"Yes she is. That's my date for the evening. Would you mind terribly if I left you to go and claim her?"

"Of course not, you darling boy. Go and get her." She gave me a shove on the shoulder. She was quite strong for such a small lady. I guess it was the farm girl in her.

"Thank you, it was a pleasure visiting with you."

Half way across the tent, Bella found me and our eyes locked. Her hair was up in curls at the top of her head, leaving the long curve of her neck exposed. My lips craved to be there.

As soon as I reached her, my hands latched onto her hips and my lips claimed a spot against her ear. "You are absolutely beautiful. I'm going to have a serious problem with the way all the men in the room are going to be watching you." I could feel her cheeks rise against mine and the gentle vibration of her body as she giggled against me.

"I think you're partial and exaggerating. But, I'll take the compliment. You clean up pretty good yourself."

Not wanting to be inappropriate in front of Alice's guests, I forced myself away from Bella. As I pulled away, I allowed my eyes to slowly look her up and down. It seemed that her blush moved upward as my eyes did.

"Shall we take our seats?" I asked, as I held my arm toward her. She smiled and slid her hand into the crook of my elbow.

We took our seats and filled each other in on our previous night and morning. I was glad that Bella ended up having a good time. Typically, the whole girl's night thing didn't really appeal to her. Soon the music started and we all stood from our seats as my baby sister and father started their procession down the aisle. Alice looked like Cinderella as she began her descent toward Jasper, covered in layers and layers of fabric. A jeweled tiara sat atop her head with a veil that cascaded down the back of her dress trailing several feet behind her. She was beautiful as we all knew she would be. My father's hand held onto hers, his eyes filled with unshed tears, as he prepared to give away his only daughter.

As I watched this exceptional woman walk down the aisle, I couldn't help all of the flashbacks that flooded my mind; Alice crying beside me in the car as Mom drove me to the hospital with a broken arm; Alice cheering me on while I beat up some kid in junior high school that spread horrible rumors about Alice; Alice and I sitting up late at night giving each other dating advise; Alice flying from Paris to be at my graduation from medical school, then flying back the next day; Alice sitting in my office, opening my eyes to the love I felt for the woman now standing beside me. My chest constricted for the love I felt for the little pixie. As much as she drove me crazy, I really couldn't have asked for a better sister.

We took our seats as my dad released Alice from his arm and handed her over to Jasper. I rested my hand on Bella's knee, and, without hesitation, she dropped her hand on mine, interlacing our fingers. A current passed through me, causing shivers to run up my spine. I couldn't get over the way my body still responded to Bella's touch.

My eyes drifted to the side, trying to sneak a glance at her. A smile lifted at the corner of her mouth. She knew I was looking and I couldn't help but smile as I thought of how attuned we were to each other. Pulling my hand from hers, I dropped my arm over the back of her chair and then pulled her other hand onto my thigh, relacing our fingers. She leaned her body into mine, fitting perfectly against my side.

Alice and Jasper began their vows. As they spoke their sacred words and phrases, my mind created a check list. Best Friend. Check. Make me a better person. Check. My life is incomplete without you. Check. Forever. Check. The love of my life. Check. Honor, Respect, Cherish, Love. Check, check, check, and check. Bella was all of those things to me or made me feel all of those things for her. I wanted to have and to hold her, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health from this day forward until death do us part. No, not just until death because I believed there was life after this one and I wanted her for that life also.

As strong as a bolt of lightning, I knew I wasn't just going to marry Bella. I was going to marry her soon.

Bella's sniffling pulled me from my thoughts and I squeezed her shoulders. "Are you okay?" I whispered in her ear, allowing my nose to drag across her silky hair.

She squeezed my leg in response. "I'm fine. I'm just so glad for Alice. She's so happy."

Moments later, the ceremony was over and we were all herded to the other side of the tent for drinks and appetizers while they prepared the dinner tables where we'd just sat for their vows. During our socializing and dinner, I found I couldn't keep my hands off Bella. My arm was around her, my hand on the small of her back, our hands intertwined, or my fingers dragging up her arm. All the while, an uncontrollable grin lingered on my face that couldn't be wiped away. After dinner, the dancing began. Dancing was definitely a favorite past-time of the Cullen family. Not to toot my own horn, but we were all great dancers. Bella, of course, was more reluctant. She stayed at the table where her clumsiness couldn't harm her, but she was always in my arms for the slow songs.

The last set was all songs our family went crazy over. We had so much fun; Alice doing the robot, Emmett doing the worm, Jasper break dancing, Rosalie doing her seductive booty drops, and all of us doing the electric slide, but my eyes were constantly roaming and watching Bella. I don't know why I felt this constant need to know where she was, it was like magnetism.

Something else I felt, though, was jealousy. I hated seeing her talk to other men. I didn't mind so much the men over fifty, boys under twenty, or the unattractive, but everyone else caused me a lot of restraint to not throw her over my shoulder and haul her away from them. It wasn't that I didn't trust Bella, I just didn't like the way men's eyes roamed over her. She was so innocent, she had no idea the way men looked at her. I had to get that under control. A thought fleetingly crossed my mind, wondering if there was an appropriate way to mark her as my territory. For the last two songs she'd been talking to my cousin. I wasn't threatened by him, but I wanted her talking and laughing with me. It took all of my restraint to stay where I was. She would know what I was doing if I just walked up and hovered over their conversation. My strong, independent woman wouldn't approve of anything barbaric like that.

Finally, Dave Matthews Band's, _You and Me_ rang through the giant speakers and I had a valid excuse to go and take my beautiful woman away from the man that currently held her attention.

Coming up behind her, I rested my hands on her hips and pressed my lips to the curve of her neck. I felt her shiver in my arms.

"Dance with me," I said softly against her neck.

She nodded her head while my cousin still chatted away.

"Sorry to interrupt, Garrett, but I'm going to steal my girlfriend away for a dance if you don't mind." I came around to the side of Bella, engulfing her tiny hand in mine.

"No, go ahead. I didn't know she was your girlfriend, Edward. You're a lucky man."

Bella blushed and I released her hand as I caressed my fingers along the side of her jaw, coming to a stop on the back of her neck. "Yes, I am."

Bella looked up at me with her doe eyes and wrapped her arms around my waist, nudging me toward the dance floor. We made our way to the center of the floor and I took her in my arms and began to spin her around.

"Do you know what this reminds me of?" I asked pressing against the small of her back bringing her body more firmly against mine.

"What?"

"The night I realized I was in love with you." I saw the blush spread across her face. "You were all dressed up like you are now and we danced for a few moments together. I remember my heart couldn't stop pounding in my chest. That was the most nervous I'd ever been while dancing with someone."

"Well, yeah, I tend to have that effect on most men." I couldn't control the small growl that bubbled up my chest. "Don't get all possessive on me, Edward Cullen."

I wanted to snap the word _Mine_. I couldn't figure out what was going on with my serious possessiveness. Was this male PMS? We danced in silence for a moment.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me. I just… well I know what kind of feelings get stirred in me when you look as amazing as you do, and I just don't like the idea of any other man looking at you and feeling that way toward you."

She raised her eyebrows at me. "Really? What kind of feelings would those be, Mr. Cullen?"

"Bella, you know what kind of feelings I'm talking about. The kind you don't allow me to act on." I pulled her body flush against mine.

She giggled and then gauged my reaction and quickly sobered up. "Poor baby, I'll tell you a little secret." She curled her finger, trying to get me to lean down toward her. I obliged, placing my ear in front of her lips. "You stir all those same feelings inside of me. Not just when you're dressed up, but all the time." Bella's admission caused me to suck in a quick breath and everything but the sound of my blood pulsing through my veins went silent. This woman was going to be the death of me.

"I have an idea of how we can solve both our problems," I whispered against her ear, my tongue slipping out to trail along the soft flesh of her lobe. She shuddered in my arms and then made a quick recovery, giving me an exaggerated eye roll.

My mother's voice rang from behind me, "May we cut in?"

I turned around to see my parents dancing behind us, my father's hand extended toward Bella. Without even glancing at me, she took his hand and was in his arms before I could react. Just as quickly, as they flitted away, I had my mother in my arms, gliding across the floor. As much as I hated having Bella out of my arms, I was grateful for this alone time with my mom.

"How's Dad hanging in there?"

"I think he feels a little bi-polar right now. He couldn't be happier for Alice and we couldn't have picked someone better than Jasper, but he's very sad and emotional knowing he'll no longer be the man in her life anymore. It's hard having your kids grow up."

"I can understand that, but you've got two happily married now, only one to go."

"How are things going with Bella? We really love her, Edward. You better not hurt her."

"I won't, Mom. I love her too. I don't think it's possible to love anyone the way I love her." Just talking about Bella caused my eyes to scan the room in search of her. I found her in my father's arms, her head thrown back in laughter. My heart swelled and I knew what I wanted to do. "I need to ask you a favor."

"Of course, Edward."

"I wanted to know if I could have Grandma Cullen's wedding ring."

My mother stilled in my arms, her eyes filling with tears. "Are you going to propose to Bella?"

Eagerly, I shook my head yes.

"Oh, Edward, I'm so happy." She threw her arms around me and I kissed the top of her head. "When do you need it? I'll have to go and get it from the safety deposit box. We'll have to get it cleaned and maybe sized. I'm sure Alice will know what size ring she wears, you know she's so good at that kind of thing." I could see the wheels in her head spinning and making plans.

Not wanting Bella to notice the excitement going on between me and my mom, I pulled my mom back in my arms and began dancing again. "Mom, relax. We have time. I think I'm going to propose Christmas morning, if I can wait that long. I need you to keep this between you and me. I don't want Bella to find out before I ask her."

"Of course, your secret is safe with me. I don't know how I'll contain myself around Bella. I want to run over and hug her right now."

"There'll be plenty of time for you to hug her later." We both laughed, knowing how difficult it would be for my overly affectionate mother to keep her emotions in control until Christmas.

A deep roaring laugh from across the room made my stomach coil. There across the room stood Jacob Black and Tanya Denali.

"What're they doing here?" I snarled.

"Edward," Esme spoke sternly. "Tanya was a good friend of the family. Just because the two of you broke up doesn't mean she has to be cut out of our lives."

"Well, what is Black doing here?"

"I believe he was her plus one for the wedding."

"But Bella said they broke up."

"They did, but people can be friends after they break up." She gave me a chastising expression.

"If I didn't hate him enough before, he really confirmed it by upsetting Bella the other day."

"Edward, he's having a hard time. You could have a little sympathy for him."

"I don't know how you do it."

"Do what?"

"Have a hundred percent kindness for everyone. I really admire that about you, Mom. I wish I were more like you." I kissed my mom on the cheek and led her to a group of her friends as _Congratulations_ by Blue October strummed through the room. I loved this song. I wanted Bella in my arms.

Pardoning my way through the room, I went in search of Bella. I did the best I could to keep my temper in check as I saw her making her way to the dance floor with Jacob Black. I didn't feel threatened for our relationship; however, I didn't want him upsetting Bella again.

"Could we dance?"

Turning around, I saw Tanya. "Uh, sure."

"It's just a dance, Edward. I won't bite. You said we could still be friends."

"You're right, of course."

Tanya and I danced silently. The moment was awkward. We had a civil break up and we did say we could be friends, but it was weird to dance with an ex while your current girlfriend danced with her ex across the dance floor.

"So, you and Bella seem really happy together."

"Yeah, things are great. How're you doing?"

"Um, alright I guess. Jacob and I broke up. I don't know what I was doing getting back together with someone I knew I wouldn't marry. He's just so easy to be with, you know?" No, I didn't know. I couldn't see how he was easy to be with. I turned us a little quicker to put Bella in my line of vision. She was smiling, which calmed me a little. At least he wasn't upsetting her. Suddenly, I realized that Tanya was still talking and I had no idea what she had said. "But, you know work has slowed down. Nobody's buying anything during the holiday season. I've thought about moving to Seattle. There's quite a bit more of a housing market there than here."

"Yeah, that might be a good business move for you. You're really good at what you do. I mean, you sold me that pathetic bachelor pad." We both laughed easily. Discussing her job triggered a thought in my mind. "Actually, I might have a job opportunity for you."

"Really?"

"I think I'm ready to upgrade from said bachelor pad." I didn't want to mention I wanted a home for Bella and me to raise a family.

"Sure, what're you looking for?"

"Something newer, four bedrooms, large backyard, three car garage."

"They're building some new homes on the south side of town. They have some beautiful lots and several different floor plans you could choose from. Did you need something now, or could you wait a couple of months?"

"I could wait." The song ended and I dropped my hold on Tanya as I turned to see Bella and Jacob making their way toward us. "Just let me know what you find. I appreciate your willingness to work with me, Tanya but one thing?" When she nodded, yes, I continued. "Would you mind keeping this between you and me? I'd like to surprise Bella."

"Sure," she said with a smile, and then turned to walk away.

Grabbing Tanya's hand, I stopped her retreat. "I really am sorry about what happened with us. You're a wonderful person and I hope you find whatever it is that'll make you happy."

"Thank you," she rasped, her eyes filling with tears.

"Hello Tanya," Bella chimed as she slid her arms around my waist.

There was no way I'd deny the excitement that coursed through my body when I recognized Bella marking her territory, just as I had wanted to do to her earlier.

"Hi Bella, your dress is beautiful."

"Thank you, so is yours."

"Thanks for the dance, Edward. Have a good evening both of you."

"Thank you, Bella." Jacob nodded toward us both and then they walked away from us.

Bella turned, pressing her body against mine, distracting me from whatever thoughts were previously running through my mind.

"Would it be pathetic if I admitted I hated every minute of her dancing with you?"

"Not if I feel the same way," I answered giving her a kiss on the forehead.

"What did you guys talk about?" Bella wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Not much. Just about her work. How about you and Jake? Do I need to worry?"

"He apologized for what he said last time. I understand him a little better now. He was just heartbroken and a little irrational. I know he would never intentionally hurt me. He is a really good person, I just don't foresee us hanging out anymore."

"Good."

"Good, he was nice to me? Or good, I don't see him and me hanging out anymore?"

"Both."

Bella stretched up on her tip toes and kissed me.

"You know talking to Tanya about real estate got me to thinking. I might want to start looking for a bigger place."

"Why's that?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I responded, "I just think it's time for an upgrade from the townhouse."

"Your place is great. I don't understand what's wrong with it."

"It is great, but it doesn't have a yard or a garage, and it only has two bedrooms."

"Why the sudden need for a yard and more bedrooms? You getting hard up on cash and need some roommates?" She laughed until she caught my expression.

"Nah, my harem of women is growing so I need more space."

"You're a funny guy," she said sarcastically.

"Okay, fine. There's this girl I'm hoping to have as a roommate soon, only she won't be paying rent. The yard and bedrooms… those are for all the babies I hope she'll be making me." She laughed, not taking my very serious answer literally.

Holding her face between my two hands, I looked deep into her eyes. "I want to get started on my future—our future—Bella. I love you."

She stood still, unmoving and unresponsive.

Damn, had I just scared her off?

**~*~**

If you would like to see Bella's dress there is a link on my profile.

My rec this chapter is going to be the sequel to THE FAN by Pears13 (AKA Angie my beta), if you haven't read The Fan do it, Cubward is delicious. She is posting the first chapter of the sequel STEALING SECOND on the 1st, check it out.

I really want to say thank you to all of you who review my chapters, you have no idea how much it means to me and much it motivates me. I am getting sad as this is coming to an end and you all make it a little easier. I have been overwhelmed the friendships I have made and the kind things you have said in your reviews. I wish I could send Edward to give you all a New Years kiss. Thank you for your reviews!

Hope you all have a fun and SAFE New Years!


	31. Chapter 31

**C/N:** Steph wrote these books called Twilight, they took over my life and now she owns me just like these characters I stole from her.

Lynelle, I love your suggestions they make this better. You are so wise grasshopper.

Angie, you are a fanfic-rockstar, if you guys haven't read her stories, you are crazy. Check em out, Shadows, The Fan, and Stealing Second by Pears13.

**Chapter 31**

**Fighting Can Lead to Making Up**

**BPOV**

Edward held my face between his two strong hands as I looked deep into his eyes.

"I want to get started on my future—our future—Bella. I love you." Edward spoke, in what seemed to be a serious tone.

My overly excited brain started doing the happy dance. Was he insinuating that he wanted a bigger house for us and our family? Elation was miniscule to what I was feeling at the possibility of that being what he meant by what he said. I hadn't responded scared that I might cry, scream or jump into his arms right there on the dance floor. I was mostly scared to respond in fear that I had misinterpreted his explanation and I would look like a fool. Minutes before now we'd been teasing and bantering. Was this just a continuation of that? I couldn't convince myself he was serious. Edward had a look that I couldn't decipher between panic and nervousness. What if he was only teasing and I made a big deal about him buying a house for us? I'd either scare him off or make him feel guilty. But what if I said nothing and he was serious? He'd have no idea how happy the house would make me. _Gah!_

"Bella?" I could see he was concerned, but I hadn't figured out why yet.

My brain was having a ping pong match over what his intention were with that statement. Finally, I decided to let him see how excited I was at the possibility— so what if I looked like an idiot.

Grabbing onto both of his hands, I began, "Edward, I couldn't be more—"

"Here she is," came Emmett's booming voice. Then in a split second he had me thrown over his shoulder.

Smacking the back of his head, I yelled, "Emmett, what are you doing?!"

"Alice and every single woman in the room are waiting for you it's the bouquet toss."

I was so consumed with the conversation Edward and I were having, that I did not here the announcement. "I don't care about the stupid bouquet toss."

Emmett started to set me on the dance floor.

"I do," chimed a sing song, pixie voice. Ugh, of course Alice would make me be part of this ridiculous tradition.

The rest of the evening flew by. After Alice tossed the bouquet, which Jessica Stanley was more than thrilled to catch, the garter was thrown. Edward dove for it and, of course, captured it, then turned and winked at me, causing butterflies to go crazy in my stomach. The happy couple sweetly fed each other cake. Jasper wouldn't dare chance messing up the Cinderella gown. The evening passed with me on Edward's arm, other than when he was making a fool of himself leaping for the bouquet, and I couldn't have been happier.

The subject of the house and starting our future now was not brought up again. Still unsure of how serious Edward was, I wasn't going to bring it up. Since he didn't bring it up I assumed he wasn't serious about it.

~*~

"Isn't this so fun, all of us girls out Christmas shopping together?" Alice chirped as we walked out of Pottery Barn. "Plus I get to exchange all of my wedding gifts. I don't get why people don't stick with the registry, they could've saved me so much trouble."

"Since when, is shopping trouble for you? I mean, in a way they're giving you two gifts in one. The gift you get to open and then the opportunity to go shop and exchange it for whatever you want."

"Good point, Bella."

Yes, Alice had been dragging Rosalie and me around the mall all day. I shouldn't complain because I was leaving for Hawaii at the end of the week and I hadn't done any of my shopping. Having Alice around was actually quite convenient, I gave her my list and she would find the perfect gifst for me. She and Jasper weren't taking their honeymoon until after the New Year. They were going to Italy and wanted to spend a month there, but they wanted to spend Christmas in the States. This was actually the first time in two weeks that I had been able to spend time with her since the wedding. She and Jasper had been busy nesting or whatever it is newlyweds do in their homes all day.

"Okay, Rosalie we're all done with your shopping except for Emmett. Do you know what you're getting him?"

"Yup, Emmett gets the same gift every year. He would kill me if I ever changed it up."

"Great, what store do we need to go to?"

"Victoria's Secret," Rosalie answered unfazed. I, on the other hand, blushed furiously. Wow, I really needed to grow up.

"Gross, ewe, please get that disgusting image out of my head," Alice whined as her body made an exaggerated shivering motion. "He's my brother!"

Rosalie led us in the direction of the pink store and Alice started reading through her lists again. "Well, I'm all done with my shopping. I just have to pick up Mom and Dad's present on our way home. Rosalie will be done once she… makes her purchase. Bella, you only have me and Edward left."

"Well, I'm not buying your present with you here and I have no idea what to get Edward. I want it to be something that—"

Rosalie cut me off, "Maybe you should get him what he really wants."

"What's that?"

"Make a purchase in the same store I am." Rosalie winked at me and gave me a wicked smile. Alice did her best to stifle her laugh— unsuccessfully. I, of course, was burned up from embarrassment.

Unable to respond, I followed the giggling pair into the store. I wondered if Rosalie knew about my V-card. Alice knew but hadn't said anything. This was so humiliating. Rosalie whined the whole time we were in the store about how the lingerie didn't look right with her tiny baby bump— a bump, I didn't even notice. I would gladly trade my body for her post three-kids-and-one-on-the-way one. She finally settled on Emmett's gifts, totaling over eight hundred dollars worth of lingerie. As much as the thought made me uncomfortable, she definitely knew her husband. I imagine Emmett would be completely satisfied after that fashion show and what would follow.

We headed out of the store as Alice received a text.

"Mom just texted, she's ready to meet for lunch."

"Why didn't she come shopping with us?" I asked.

"I don't know, she had some secret business with Edward this morning. I'm determined to find out what they were doing." Alice couldn't stand to be left out of any loop.

Edward told me he had to go into the office this morning and would be swamped working all day, making it odd to hear, he was with Esme. I pulled out my cell phone and texted him.

_We're done shopping and heading to lunch. When will you be done working? B_

We shoved all of our bags into the back of Rosalie's giant SUV and then piled into the car to head toward the Cheesecake Factory. I hadn't eaten there since I lived in L.A. and it was my favorite. That was definitely one of the down falls of living in a small town. We had to drive almost four hours to go to a real mall and have restaurant options.

"Why is Esme driving all this way just to meet us for lunch?"

"Oh, she's not. Dad has an investor's lunch meeting so she's hanging out with us while he's gone. Then tonight they have a Christmas party to attend in the city," Alice answered.

My phone chirped in my purse and I pulled it out to find a text from Edward. I looked at my watch and realized it took him a half hour to respond. He usually responds almost immediately.

_It's been crazy here all morning. I should be done when you get back. You want to grab dinner? E_

My insides started to feel warm and my heart pounded. Why was Edward lying to me?

_Sorry you have to work on a Saturday. Dinner sounds great. B_

Instantly there was a response.

_Tell Alice to drop you off at my place, I'll have dinner waiting. Can you stay with me tonight? I really need to be with you. E_

At this moment I didn't want to be with him at all. I hated being lied to more than anything. The conversation occurring in the front seat was white noise as my mind started running away from me. Why would Edward lie about working today? Maybe he met Esme and then headed to work. I was busy coming up with rational and irrational excuses of why Edward would not be at work when that is where he said he would be. My phone began to ring and I prayed it wasn't Edward. Checking my caller ID, I saw it was my old boss from Random House. My nerves were immediately heightened and all thoughts of Edward lost.

"Hey girls, this is my old boss on the phone. Could you turn off the music please?" I asked, leaning toward them in the front seat.

"Of course," Rosalie answered, turning the music off. Both girls sat silently, I am sure listening to my entire conversation.

"Aro, how are you?" I answered in a sing-song voice.

"I'm doing wonderful, Isabella. I was thrilled when I received your message and wanted to get back to you immediately."

"I appreciate that." My nerves started to settle.

"I loved the concept you sent me in your email. Where are you at with this project?"

"My outline is complete; I have all of the character descriptions done, and about four chapters completely written. They're not in chronological order though." I started to worry that I should have contacted him later when I had more accomplished.

"Well, the synopsis you sent is very captivating. Of course, I trust your work, Bella. I worked with you long enough to know that you are capable of knowing what good work is."

"Thank you, sir."

"So the good news is we'd like to represent you as your publishing company. Most of us will be in and out of town the next couple of weeks for the holidays, so I'm thinking after the first of the year we'll fly you out and get into more detail about your book, and assign you an editor."

"That sounds perfect. I'll also try to have more chapters completed for you by then."

"Great. Well we'll be in touch after the First. Thank you for choosing us, Isabella. I'm sure we're going to see big things from you."

"No, thank you. I appreciate you having the confidence in me. I hope I don't let you down."

"We were all very disappointed to lose you; you really were one of the finest people I've ever worked with."

"Thank you."

"Merry Christmas, and I'll see you soon."

"Merry Christmas to you, too. Thank you again."

The squeal that left my mouth was uncontrollable, followed by some childish bouncing in my seat.

"Tell us what he said," Alice said with bright eyes.

"They're interested in publishing my book." Both girls joined me in squeals and screams of excitement. "They want to meet with me after the first of the year. Oh my, gosh! I have so much work to get done."

"Oh, Bella, I am so happy for you," Alice said with her eyes full of tears. I was so grateful to have a best friend that loved me as much as Alice did.

"I haven't known you as long as the rest of the family has, Bella," Rosalie said, looking at me in her rearview mirror. "But being with you these last couple of months has helped me to understand the love and respect my family has for you so much better. But, now I understand why you've been single all these years."

Rosalie had always been direct and said exactly what was on her mind. It's one of the things that made me admire and fear her. But at that moment, I hated it about her. I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. As if I weren't insecure enough about my lack of relationships, she had to slap me in the face with it. She totally killed my buzz. My jaw hung open, and I felt a lump building in my throat.

"Rosalie," Alice hissed with a look of death.

"What?!" Rosalie's eyes darted back and forth between Alice and me. "Oh my, gosh, that so did not come out right. Bella, I'm so sorry. Let me explain. I just meant you're so intimidating to men, that they're afraid to approach you. It makes sense that the only man aggressive enough to go after you was Edward; his ego is bigger than my home.

"You can do anything. In school you had perfect grades and were valedictorian; you were accepted into the college of your choice, and the masters programs came looking for you; you leave most men in the dust on the track; then of course, as a result of your diligent running, you have a rockin', hard body; you're gorgeous without even trying; and you had a successful career which you walked away from confident you would find something else. Most women find it lucky to have an opportunity to attempt to climb the corporate ladder and you just fly up it. Then you have a fleeting thought of writing a book, and you're doing it. You pined over Edward Cullen your whole life and you got him. Is there anything you can't do?"

Compliments were not something I knew how to handle very well. I knew I should say thank you, but that would've meant I agree with her. "I didn't pine over Edward my whole life."

Both girls whipped their heads around, looking at me with an appalled look on their faces and then burst into laughter.

"Yeah right, Bella. I don't know who you think you're trying to fool. The only person who would believe that is Edward," Alice blurted through her bubbles of amusement. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked out the window, avoiding anymore of this humiliating discussion.

Esme was in the lobby waiting for us when we arrived and asked about our day of shopping. Alice proceeded to give her a play by play of the day's events as I sat nibbling on the warm bread that called to me.

"What did you do with Edward today, Mom? You know how much I hate being left out." Alice asked as she brought her diet coke to her lips.

Esme's eyes darted down to her piece of bread, which suddenly seemed to be very important to her. She looked nervous. "Um… we just went to breakfast."

"You're a horrible liar, Mom. But, I'll let it go since Christmas is soon and it could have to do with someone's present."

"Thank you, dear."

Maybe what Alice said was true, they were Christmas shopping. It would make sense that he would keep it from me if he was shopping for my gift and that he would need Esme's help. Men are horrible at shopping for presents for their girlfriend's. I better not get a blender or something like that.

Just because Edward wasn't at work as he said he'd be, didn't mean he was doing something wrong. Feeling guilty for assuming the worst, I grabbed my phone to text him since I never responded earlier.

_I'm going to stop home first so I can ditch my bags and get a change of clothes and then I'll stay tonight… if you're lucky. Me_

Lunch with the girls was enjoyable with pleasant conversation, great food, and a lot of laughter. I fell asleep shortly after we began the drive home and it was already dark when Rosalie pulled up to Charlie's.

"Bella, wake up," Alice said, shaking my arm. "It's time to wake up, you're home."

Blinking my eyes open, I stretched across the back seat the best I could. "Thanks girls, I had a good time."

"Call me if you change your mind about Edward's Christmas present. I'll take you back to Victoria's Secret," Rosalie purred.

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." I gave an exaggerated eye roll and jumped from the car.

As I grabbed my bags out of the back of the car, I wondered if lingerie was something Edward would want for Christmas. Immediately, I shrugged off the idea knowing it would have to be a wedding present instead of a Christmas present— hopefully. I waved goodbye to the girls as I walked inside the house.

Charlie was sitting on the couch watching a football game and I collapsed next to him.

"Hey Dad, what did you do today?"

"You're looking at it. How was shopping?"

"Fine. I got most of my Christmas list done except for Edward and Alice. Oh, Dad, guess what?"

He raised his eyebrows at me, waiting for me to continue with whatever I was so excited to share. I told him all about my conversation with Aro and what was going on with my book. He looked truly happy for me.

"Now all I need is to find a place to live and I'll be set."

"Why do you need to find a place to live?"

"Dad, you and Sue are going to want some privacy. It would be awkward living here with my dad, the newlywed. I am actually looking at two places tomorrow."

Charlie pursed his lips and scratched the top of his head. "You know Bella, Sue and I have both discussed it and we don't mind you staying with us for a little while."

"Dad, I am twenty eight years old. I need a place of my own."

"I know, I'm just saying, why don't you wait a little while? Until after the holidays, maybe?"

There was something he wasn't saying, I could tell. It was written all over his face.

My lips parted to respond and Charlie put his hand on my knee. "Bella, will you trust me this one time? Don't worry about it until after the holidays."

Charlie wasn't usually this pushy, so I figured I should go along with whatever he wanted. "Okay." I stood from the couch and gathered my bags. "I'm going to go put these away and then I am going to Edward's. I won't be home tonight."

Charlie nodded his head and took the TV off mute.

"I'm proud of you, kid," Charlie said without looking away from the TV.

"Thanks, Dad," I said as I turned to run up the stairs.

I shoved all my bags into the back of my closet and grabbed an over-night bag. I went ahead and changed into my yoga pants, t-shirt, and hoodie. Before I could scan my bag to make sure I had everything, my cell phone rang.

"Hello," I answered without looking at the caller ID. I really should become more technological and figure out how to put on different ring tones for different people.

"Hey, have you left already?" Came a voice smooth as silk.

"No, I was just packing a bag."

"So you're staying with me? I knew you couldn't resist this."

I resented his cockiness, but he was completely accurate. "I have been for a while now. You aren't as irresistible as you think."

"Do you want me to show you how irresistible I can be, Bella?" He asked huskily. It was one of the sexiest things I'd ever heard.

Seconds ticked by and I was unable to speak. My reverie was broken by Edward's laughter. Damn, why did I let him get to me that way?

"I know I told you to bring a dress for my company Christmas party, but what if we just ditch it instead?"

Of course that sounded appealing to me. I didn't want to go to another dress-up function and have to talk to a bunch of people I didn't know again. "It's your party Edward; I'll do whatever you want."

Edward let out a frustrated groan, and I couldn't help but snicker. I could totally picture his face as he waged an internal debate. "I know I should go, but I don't want to. Bring your dress and we'll decide later."

"Okay, I'll see you in twenty minutes."

After adding some heels, thigh highs, and makeup to the bag, I grabbed my little black dress from the closet and headed to Edward's.

My stomach growled for the tenth time in five minutes. I was starving and I hoped Edward had some good food waiting for me, and of course a Dr. Pepper or I was sending him out to get one. It was only a couple more days until our trip to Hawaii and I couldn't wait. I debated on whether or not I should take Alice's advice and hit the tanning beds. My skin had begun to look a little Casper-like since being in Forks and any color I did have was all runner's tan; ankle line, sports bra line, and shorts line. Not really attractive. If I was going to be running around in a bikini, I should definitely fix that. Note to self: schedule tanning sessions.

My stomach did little flips as I pulled up in front of Edward's. How had I lived so long without this man? I knew it was a crazy thought because we just started dating, but I wished we were already married. A smile spread across my face as I saw Edward come bounding down the steps. He pulled my door open and held out his hand to help me from the car. I loved how tiny my hand felt in his, and his hands were always so warm compared to mine, which were always freezing.

"Hey you," he greeted as he leaned over, pressing his luscious lips to mine. "Where's your stuff?"

"In the backseat." Before I could react, he had the door open and was carrying my bag and eyeing my dress.

He looked over with a devilish smirk. "Maybe I want to go to the party after all."

"Oh, that's not for the party, that's for a date I have later."

"Not funny," he snarled and then spun on his heels heading for the door.

The view from where I stood was nice. I always admired Edward's round, firm butt. Most men have flat or concave rears. Not Edward. His constantly tempted me. I wanted to reach over and just grab it… and I did.

Edward looked over his shoulder, quirking an eyebrow. "What's gotten into you?"

"Um… I'm sure it has to do with spending the whole day with Rosalie and Alice, or it's just the fact that you're hot?"

"Well, I like it."

Edward took my stuff back to his room and I headed straight for the kitchen. The table was already set and there was food somewhere… I could smell it, but not see it. My eyes roamed the table, the counters, the island, nothing. I was about to yell for Edward when I felt his hand swat my butt. I turned around and eyed him.

"Yours is equally tempting and appealing. Go to the table, I'll bring out dinner."

"I need a drink, did you get—"

"In the fridge," he said without turning around as he opened up the oven.

There sitting on the top shelf of his fridge were four bottles of my favorite liquid. I knew I loved this man.

"Grab me one too, please."

"Oh, have you come to the dark side?"

"No, but somehow watching you drink it makes it very appealing. Maybe it's all that moaning you do." He was laughing by the time he made it through the sentence.

"Shut up, I don't moan." He gave me a yeah right expression and I headed for the table.

A minute later, Edward walked in with my favorite, orange chicken with rice and broccoli. My mouth salivated.

"Oh, Edward, I love you. That looks so mouthwatering."

"So, you only love me for the food?"

"Mostly." I smiled at his pout then leaned over and kissed him.

The room was silent for several minutes while I devoured my food. I knew that most mothers would be appalled by the way I ate in front of a man, but they never had Edward's orange chicken and been completely famished at the same time.

Feeling somewhat satisfied, I wiped my face and rested my fork on my plate. "How was your day?"

Edward nodded his head trying to quickly chew through his food. "Fine."

His vagueness made a little bit of that nervousness from earlier creep back into my stomach. I couldn't help but feel like he was hiding something from me. "Did you work all day?"

"Mmmhmmm."

My pulse started to quicken and my throat constricted. I needed to get a grip and remember he could have been Christmas shopping. My gut knew he would never run around on me, and I needed to trust there was a reason he was keeping something from me. But even if the only other thing he did today was spend time with Esme, why would he hide it?

"How was shopping?"

"As exciting as shopping can be."

"What's wrong, Bella?" Edward laid his napkin down and reached for my hand.

The war in my head was in full fledged artillery mode now. I wondered if I should confront him or not? I didn't want him to think I spy on him or don't trust him, and I definitely didn't want him to think I was insecure. However, there was no way I was going to be lied to, and I didn't want to live with this nervousness in the pit of my stomach. Who cared if he told me he went Christmas shopping, it wouldn't give anything away, right? This was getting awkward, I needed to say something.

"Nothing just tired from shopping I guess." He was unconvinced. Of course he was, I'm a horrible liar. "So Charlie was weird tonight." I was going with a subject change. That always worked, right? He wasn't buying it; his eyes still bore into mine with a look of worry. "He was adamant about me staying with he and Sue after the wedding. I was supposed to go look at apartments in the morning and he convinced me not to worry about it until after Hawaii." Edward's eyes grew a little wider and when I studied his expression, he suddenly looked away and became very interested in his dinner. "I mean, isn't it weird he would try to get his twenty-eight year old daughter to stay with him and his new bride?"

Edward shook his head, but wasn't looking up at me. "No, I don't think that's weird at all."

"Something's going on, Edward. What the hell is it?"

"What are you talking about?" He looked up at me confused, but also nervous.

I was done worrying about it. If we weren't honest with each other, I was going to drive myself crazy. "I know you weren't at work _all_ day," I yelled as I stood from my chair. His eyebrows shot up and I saw his Adams-apple bob up and down with a big swallow. "I don't care what you did, but do not lie to me!"

He just sat there blank faced and said nothing.

_Oh my, gosh! He's cheating on me. _

My stomach tightened up and I felt like I was going to barf.

**EPOV**

CRAP!!! My brain raced trying to figure out what on earth I was going to tell her. Okay, let's scroll through my day. I went with Esme to pick up her engagement ring. Not telling her that one. I went to Charlie's house to ask his permission to marry her. Not telling her that one either. I went to meet with Tanya to sign all of the purchase contracts on a house I was buying for us, which I wasn't even sure she'd want. Don't want to tell her that one either.

What was I going to do? I hated lying to her, but I didn't want her to find out I was proposing, not like this. My heart was breaking looking at her terrified face. What was she thinking? There was no way she thought I was cheating on her, was there?

_Oh, no she does._

I leapt to my feet and tried to take her in my arms but she stopped me by pressing her hand against my chest, keeping me at arm's length.

"Answer the question, Edward. Where were you today?"

My mouth opened, but I still hadn't figured out what to say to her. I wasn't going to lie, to hide a lie.

"Did you go to work at all today?"

"No," I mumbled, barely above a whisper. Her eyes instantly filled with tears and my stomach wrenched. "Bella, it's not what you think."

She sniffed and straightened her shoulders. She was trying to look like she wasn't hurt, but she couldn't disguise her eyes, not from me.

"Okay then, tell me where you were."

"I can't."

She turned around and headed toward the door. I ran for the door and stood in front of it, blocking her path.

"Move, Edward."

"Don't go, Bella. Don't leave mad."

Her lower lip started to tremble and my hand reached out for her face, but she shoved it away.

"Bella, you need to trust me. Everywhere I went today was for you. I just can't tell you right now. I need you to be patient. In the next week you'll have all the answers."

She looked up at me for the first time with a tear streaked face. "You were gone the whole day and there's not a single place you can tell me you've been?"

"I had breakfast with my mother."

"I already knew that, and what's that? One hour of the day? What about the other ten?"

That's how she knew. I was going to kill my mom. She was right; I owed her some type of explanation. I went through my list again. I am not telling her anything that will give away the proposal, so that left telling her about the house, and hopefully she didn't take off after hearing about that either.

"Will you sit down?"

"Are you going to tell me why you lied to me or where you were?" she asked with her arms crossed over her chest. How on earth did she look so pissed and so broken at the same time? It was that whole furious kitten thing.

"Yes."

She spun on her heel and walked into the living room. She sat in a chair instead of the couch, probably so I couldn't sit next to her. That was not going to work. I kneeled down in front of her, and tried to align myself in her line of vision, but she was refusing to make eye contact.

"Hey, will you look at me?" She looked up, making it clear she didn't want to. "I went to breakfast with my mom this morning. I ran a couple of errands after that. I am not going to tell you where, because you'll have to wait until Christmas to have those answers." That was a good strategy; make it about Christmas. If I said surprise, she might catch on. She started to say something but I stopped her. "Let me finish. I spent the rest of the day with a builder and my realtor buying a house."

Bella opened and closed her mouth several times, starting to say something and then stopping herself.

"Bella, I'm sorry I lied to you. My morning activities are part of your Christmas present and I didn't want you to find anything out. I didn't tell you about the house because I am worried you're going to run from me screaming. Your reaction at Alice's wedding was enough to make it clear you weren't ready for it yet, but I am. So, I am going to go ahead and have the house built and I'll move in by myself and wait until you're ready. Assuming we're on the same page as to where we're headed." I'd been staring down at her fingers, which were in constant motion in her lap. I was too scared to look up and see her freaked out about my admission. The silence was making my chest constrict and I forced myself to face her.

"Say something, please?"

"I'm sorry," she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks.

My heart ached and I dropped my gaze back toward her hands. I knew this was too soon for her. This was why I didn't want to tell her. Her hands slid down and grabbed mine, pulling them up into her lap. My confusion caused my gaze to wonder back to her eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything to you at the wedding about the house. My insecurity got the better of me and I assumed you were just joking about it being for us. It was so soon and I wasn't sure if you… if your feelings were racing at the same pace mine were. You never brought it up again, so I thought my assumption was right."

"I was serious, Bella. I'd have you living with me right now if you would. I want to marry you someday and I want to have everything to offer you when I do."

Bella began to sob. "I feel so stupid. I can't believe the way I was accusing you. I am so sorry."

Raising myself up on my knees, I took her face in my hands. "You have to know how crazy I am about you. Nobody could appeal to me the way you do. I don't think you get how much I love you?

She nodded her head. "I love you too. I'm not a paranoid person and I would never think you were the type of person to cheat, it's just when you lied, my imagination got the better of me. It'll never happen again."

"So, are you really okay with me buying the house?"

"Edward, it's your house, you can do whatever you want. You don't have to run that decision by me. I want the house, the two point five kids, and the dog running around the yard with you someday. I want it more than you could know. I've never said anything because I was afraid of scaring you off; I mean it's too soon to be thinking about our future. Isn't it?"

My smile was barely able to be contained on my face. "I love you so much, and I don't care if it's too soon. If it's what we both want, it's all that matters."

The smile she gave me was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. My lips pounced on hers hungrily. She slid to the edge of the chair so her body was fully flushed against mine. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pulled her even further into me, causing a whimper to escape her lips. She wrapped her legs around my waist. I needed to feel all of her against me, immediately. Pushing up with my knees and toes, I stood with Bella in my arms, stumbling a few steps as I headed toward the hallway and cringing at how unsmooth I was.

Our kissing was animalistic, different than it had ever been before. As I made my way down the hall, Bella pulled away from my lips and our loud breathing was frantic. Bella attacked my neck as I crossed through the doorway of my bedroom. The combination of Bella's mouth and my neck was a huge weakness for me. I dropped Bella down onto my bed and went back to my assault on her lips. Bella fisted my shirt in her hands and started pushing herself back further on the bed tugging me along with her. I didn't need much encouragement to crawl up the bed and her body. I could feel waves of heat coursing off of our bodies, slamming onto each other.

Bella continued her hold on my shirt as she began lifting it up over my head and I grabbed the fabric between my shoulder blades and helped her to remove the horrible barrier. She let her nails drag down my back her finger tips coming to a rest just under the edge of my jeans. I literally felt like my heart was going to burst from my chest, and my hormones couldn't possibly be any more out of control. She tugged on my hips and I dropped down onto her body as her moist lips made their way down my jaw, neck, and to my shoulders. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I felt her mouth work its way from each of my shoulders. I grabbed onto the back of her knee, hooking her leg around my hip as my hand trailed up her thigh, over her hips, sliding past the curve of her waist, my thumb grazing the side her breast before coming to a rest at her neck. No matter how much I kissed her, I felt like I could never have enough of her. Bella pushed on my chest and I needed no more persuasion. I rolled myself over, onto my back, pulling her on top of me. Bella sat up, straddling my hips, and her fingers began to unbutton her own shirt. I couldn't believe this was really happening. I wanted Bella in every possible way. Physically was at the top of my list at that moment.

When Bella released her last button, my conscience kicked in. She waited her whole life to be with only her husband. She had no idea how close she was to having a husband, but I wasn't her husband— yet. I couldn't chance her looking back and wishing she had waited just a little longer. But, oh how I wanted her. She was right here, her skin glistening with sweat, her lips swollen from our contact, her eyes hooded with desire.

A loud groan released from inside my chest as I made a decision. I reached up and stilled her hand from releasing the last button, then I sat up, keeping her on my lap, and kissed her.

"Not tonight," I whispered as I began buttoning up her shirt.

"What?!" she hissed as she backed away, looking into my face.

"Bella, you don't really want to do this. You've told me you wanted to wait and be with your husband this way. I'm not going to ruin that for you."

"I don't care anymore."

"Bella, don't compromise what you want most for what you want at the moment. We just had this really emotional talk and then we let our bodies take over."

"You don't want me?"

"Bella, I know you can tell I want you." I gave her a knowing look, there was no way she was unaware of my arousal. "Trust me, I want this more than you'll ever know, but I want to do this right for you. I'm going to wait until the time I know you've waited for and then I am going to make you feel treasured and worshipped beyond anything you thought possible. But not tonight, not like this. I want your first time to be more than a recovery from a fight." Our breaths were finally evening out, her partially exposed chest still heaving. "Do you hate me?"

"Yes," she spat, trying not to laugh. "My soul, heart, and mind love you for this, but my body… well; my body hates your guts right now."

"Don't worry; my body hates me right now, too." We both started to laugh and I pulled her down on me, rolling us onto our sides.

"So, you bought a house, huh?"

"I did. I picked the lot and the floor plan, but I'd love it if you came to help me pick out flooring, fixtures, cabinets, countertops, you know, chick stuff."

"Chick stuff, huh?"

"Well, I was going to have Alice come with me, but since it's no longer a secret, I want you to live in it with me, why not come make it what you want?"

"I'll think about it. Edward?"

"Yeah?" I asked hesitantly hearing the reluctance in her voice.

"Don't ever lie to me again. Next time just tell me you're running errands and that it's a surprise or something, but don't lie to me."

"I promise. I'm sorry, it won't happen again." I leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you for stopping us too. You're pretty close to perfect, you know that?" she asked, running her fingers through my hair.

"Yeah."

"Well, I take it back. My dinner is cold, my Dr Pepper is probably flat, and I didn't see any dessert."

Jumping from the bed, I threw on my t-shirt and held out my hand to her. "Let's go. I can fix that."

~*~

**A/N:** My rec this chapter has to be, a story called **Interference by vamplicious**. She definitely does not get enough credit. Edward and Bella meet in an airport, while Tanya is trying to sink her claws in Edward's deliciousness. Must read, I'm hooked.

So I was kinda sad after the last chapter. I only received half the hits and half the reviews I normally get. Did I disappoint you girls? Please review.

Only two more chapters and an epilogue. Hawaii is next, and I am almost done.


	32. Chapter 32

**Author Notes:**

SM, thank you for introducing me to Edward and for letting me play with your characters. I'll never claim their mine.

Lynelle, Angie, I love you both like crazy.

I was overwhelmed by how many of you came out from lurking and reviewed last chapter. You have no idea how much that meant to me. I read, and I think, I responded to everyone. I really can't thank you enough. You have humbled me.

Grab some sunscreen and your bathing suits, we are off to Hawaii.

**Chapter 32**

**Hawaii**

For the last half hour I'd gone back and forth between kitchen cabinets and counter tops. I was getting frustrated. Reaching next to me, I yanked the ear bud from Edward's ear.

"Hey, I've narrowed it down to two choices for you. White cabinets with gray slate counter tops, and chrome hardware; or cherry wood cabinets, black granite counter tops, and iron hardware?" I asked holding up two different catalogues.

Edward dropped his head back on the headrest and let out a groan, shoving his palms against his eyes. "I don't care. Bella, I told you that I trust you to make all of these decisions."

"Hey, this is your house. I'm just being a really good girlfriend and helping you out with this. So, the least you can do is be grateful and help me when I can't decide. If not, I'll hand all of these catalogues over to you and I'll take a nap."

"Fine, fine, um… what kind of flooring is going to be in the kitchen?"

"Brazilian Koa, hard wood," I said flipping through the stack in front of me looking for the flooring sample.

"Uh… the first one, I guess."

"Really," I said crossing my arms over my chest. "What color cabinets was that again?"

"What?"

I quirked my eyebrow at him, knowing he really didn't care or have an opinion. Truth was, I didn't mind making these choices. It was like picking out my dream house without having to pay for it. I just wanted Edward to be a part of it. This was his house, after all, and though I prayed I'd eventually live there with him too, one never knew.

The flight attendants voice interrupted our stare off. "Ladies and gentlemen, as we begin our final descent into Maui, we ask that you stow away all of your personal belongings, turn off all portable electronics…"

My ears were no longer attentive to the chipper flight attendant. I was stowing away my belongings as quickly as possible, pulling my seat upright, folding up my tray table, and checking to make sure my seatbelt was nice and snug. I was practically bouncing in my seat. Edward chuckled in the seat beside me as he put away his iPod.

"I think I now know what you looked like as a little girl anticipating Santa's arrival."

"Shut-up," I said smacking him. "Some of us haven't been as well traveled as you, and are very excited to see Hawaii for the first time."

He slid his hand into mine and whispered, "Well, I think you're adorable." He kissed my cheek and I squeezed his hand as the islands came into view outside my window.

Charlie picked us up from the airport and drove us to our hotel. We separated at the elevator doors—he and Sue's room was at the opposite end of the floor— and made plans to meet up with them for dinner tonight. Edward opened the door to our hotel room and I scurried in ahead of him. I was still giddy with excitement.

"Oh my, gosh, this is so beautiful," I crooned as I dragged my fingers along the fluffy white bed heading toward the French doors.

Pulling both doors open, a gasp escaped my throat. The lanai held dark whicker and tan linen furniture, and tropical plants encased the balcony. The view was of an infinite ocean with palm trees dotting its shores. The sun was high in the sky; the radiating warmth was something I hadn't been able to feel since leaving L.A. It was heavenly.

Edward's arms snaked around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. "Beautiful isn't it?"

"Mmhmm. Do you think we have time to go to the beach before dinner?"

"If that's what you want to do," he said, and when I nodded my head in excitement, told me to go change. He released his hold on me and I dashed into the bathroom just as he smacked my rear.

Grabbing my suitcase on the way, I pulled it into the bathroom and unzipped my bag, staring down into it, unable to make a decision. Yesterday morning, as I opened the front door for my run, I found two large Victoria's Secret bags sitting on the porch full of bathing suits, bras and panties, and lingerie. At first I was angry with Rosalie, but then I realized how feminine and pretty I would feel wearing it all, even if nobody was going to see me wearing most of it— at least not for a while. After scanning over the six bikinis, I grabbed one to fit my mood.

After spending a good ten minutes trying to adjust the tiny fabric to cover as much as possible, I glanced at myself in the mirror. The tiny coral bottoms— tiny was the best descriptive word for them— which tied on the sides. Thank goodness Alice had forced me to get a bikini wax. The white triangle top accented with silver daises made my tan look amazing, thank goodness for Alice again. I felt pretty impressed with myself as I pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail and grabbed a towel off of the rack. Taking one last glance in the mirror, I thought, w_ell Bella I hope looking this good was worth the pain of the wax and the possibility of skin cancer from the tanning beds._

When I walked out of the room and saw Edward's reaction, I decided, yes, it was worth it. Edward froze mid motion, his hands still hovering over his suitcase, his mouth hanging wide open. He had yet to blink and his eyes were enormous.

Throwing the towel over my shoulder, I asked, "You okay?"

His mouth snapped closed and he stalked dangerously toward me. "Bella, you are going to be the death of me. Don't you have some kind of 1920's bathing suit you could wear? You know, the one's that look like shorts and a shirt."

"Why Edward? Do I not look good?" I feigned ignorance.

"Bella, you look too good," he said walking away running his hands through his hair.

"And, that's a problem because?"

"For two reasons. One, I'm supposed to be keeping my hands off of you, and two, I don't like other men looking at you, especially almost naked, because I know what they'll be thinking."

"Well, what about you?" His eyebrows creased together in a look of bewilderment from my words. "Look at you in those board shorts," I purred as I sashayed toward him. "I mean, what man from Forks can wear white shorts and still look golden tan, your waistband is sitting severely low on your hips teasing me with those taut muscles, making a v that disappears under your shorts—" My finger trailed down the center of his stomach. "Or, your amazingly defined abs and chest. You're not the only one that has to muster up the strength to resist, my friend. And I think we can solve the problem of other people's wondering eyes by you keeping your hands on me at all times, and vice versa. It's just a suggestion." I gave him a seductive look, walked toward the door, slid my feet into my sandals, and asked, "You coming?"

He nodded as he pulled his flip flops from his bag and slid them on, hurrying after me.

Edward and I held hands as we walked down the sidewalk toward the sand. Something that struck me odd and annoying was it seemed that we only passed women— women that took their time eyeing Edward as we passed. I wrapped my arms around him, and he snickered as he ran his fingers up and down my shoulder and arm. He knew what I was doing.

"I'm not complaining about having your almost naked body pressed up against me, but don't forget I have eyes only for you." His hand pulled on my neck forcing me to look up at him. He winked at me and then leaned down, giving me a chaste kiss.

That wasn't enough for me. I spun my body around to stand in front of him. It was my turn to reach up and pull his face toward mine. My lips launched and were devouring his in seconds. Never in my life was I one for public affection. In fact, I detested it. I was usually the one mumbling, 'get a room,' as I passed couples like us. But I didn't care. I wanted to kiss Edward and I didn't care who saw or where we were.

After our public display of affection, we took our last few steps to the beach. The soft white sand slid between my toes with each step, and I inwardly moaned from the warmth it was so soothing. We dropped our towels near the water, and then ran for the water, reveling in how perfect it was. It was warm, like a bath, and crystal clear. This water was very different than the water in Southern California, and the Pacific Northwest, but exactly what I'd always imagined Hawaii would be.

Edward immediately dove under the water and started swimming out into the surf. I was not as strong of a swimmer as Edward, but I could hold my own, doing my best to keep up with him. At one point we found a sand bar so we waded in the water, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. It was literally an afternoon of heaven on earth. The tranquility of this tropical island, our feeling of solitude, and some of the best talks we'd had. The sun started to set, casting rays of pink and orange around us— it was exquisite. Edward pulled me into his arms, holding me close as we watched the sun make its descent.

Once twilight had started to turn, Edward squeezed my middle and whispered in my ear, "We need to go back to the hotel so we can make it to dinner on time. Plus, I can see the tide changing and I don't want us swimming in the dark."

I dropped my head back on his shoulder, "Noooo."

The vibration of his laughter was like a massage on my back. "We will have at least five more chances to do this before we leave, I promise." Edward stood and grabbed my hand, pulling me to my feet. "Should we race back?"

"Yeah, right. You'll kill me. How about we just make it a leisure swim?"

"Fine," he said and then dived out into the water toward shore.

We had been in the water less than a minute when I could feel the current pulling me the opposite direction. I swam as hard as I could fighting to get back to the beach as quick as possible.

"Bella, there's a serious under toe right now, be careful. Try to ride the waves in as much as possible."

Just as we made it to where the waves were crashing, the powerful ocean pulled me under. My body succumbed to the instant panic and my limbs flailed around as I tried to figure out which way was up and which was down. The water's power was nothing to my one hundred and twenty pound body. The salt water I sucked down was burning my throat and my lungs were starting to feel small. I was officially freaking out. What felt like an eternity, but was probably a minute later, Edward grabbed my arm and pulled me up to the surface.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward gasped between breaths. I nodded my head and rubbed at my eyes, my teeth chattering uncontrollably. I wasn't sure if that was due to temperature or shock. When my eyes found Edward's, I saw nothing but panic and fear. I'd never seen him this way. His arm wove around my waist as he swam us parallel to shore.

We hadn't gotten very far when a lifeguard arrived. Oh my, gosh, this was humiliating. Edward released me to the lifeguard who then floated me on his red, rescue tube.

"I'm fine; really, I can get back by myself. I was only under a second." I argued, resisting being pulled in.

"I'm sure you can, Miss, but it's a rule that once I see you go under, I have to bring you back in."

"Well, I won't tell anyone, and besides—"

"Bella, suck it up. Let him do his job," Edward snapped.

Consumed with a flood of annoyance, humiliation, fear, and anger, I kept my mouth shut as we made our trip to the warm awaiting sand.

"Thank you very much," I said to the young lifeguard.

"No problem," he answered, then ran back to his post in his lifeguard tower.

"You okay?" Edward asked resting his hand on the small of my back.

"Fine," I pouted walking down the beach to retrieve our towels and shoes.

"Hey, don't get upset. That happens to the strongest swimmers. You did scare me though." He grabbed my towel off the sand and wrapped it around me, pulling me against him.

"I didn't like how you snapped at me in the water."

"You mean when I told you to listen to the lifeguard?" he asked with some sarcasm in his voice and a slight laugh. "Well, you're not getting an apology for that. You had just scared the crap out of me. That minute you were under felt like eternity to me. I thought I was going to lose you. So yes, I snapped when you were arguing with the person trying to keep you safe."

There was nothing I could say. He was right. I really needed to work on my pride and independence a little, especially if I was going to be in a relationship. It can't be only my way or me doing everything all by myself. If I was going to be in this relationship a hundred percent, I needed to make some changes.

"Bella, I already glimpsed losing you when James went after you." He spoke as he tucked a lock of wet hair behind my ear. "I know I wouldn't survive it if I lost you. It doesn't take much to trigger those emotions now. You slipping under the water and out of my sight were enough to scare me senseless, again. Do you even understand how much I love you?"

I looked up at this amazing man who I loved with all of my heart and smiled. "I get it. I'm sorry. I'll stop pouting.

He returned my smile with his crooked grin. His fingers brushed down the side of my face and I shivered in his arms. "It's kind of cute when you pout. It makes me want to laugh." I stuck my tongue out at him, and he laughed again. "Come on, we don't want to be late meeting your dad."

"Okay, thanks for saving my life by the way. You'll have to let me know how I can thank you." I gave him a seductive wink and turned away from him.

"I can think of a million ways you can thank me, but you won't oblige to any," he mumbled, barely audible to my ears.

We were running about fifteen minutes behind when we hurried down to the lobby to meet my dad, Sue, and her family. Her kids were fine enough. Seth, a freshman at UW, had assumed the role of man-of-the-house and his mother's protector when his dad died. Charlie said he was struggling with letting Charlie take over those roles. Leah, who also lived in the Seattle area, was married to her high school sweetheart, Sam Uley. They had two boys; Jared and Paul who looked exactly like their dad. Leah stayed home with her boys, and Sam was a park ranger. He seemed like a good guy and was great with his kids. I hadn't made a decision on Leah yet. I couldn't decide if she was just quiet and reserved or had a serious chip on her shoulder.

Dinner was slightly awkward, but only for me it seemed. Shortly after our dinner was served, Edward, Seth, and Sam dove into everything sports while Leah was busy trying to get her boys to eat their dinner. Usually this was something I would laugh about or offer to help with, but her behavior toward me kept me back and quiet in my seat. My dad and Sue sat practically in each other's laps, whispering in each other's ears. Surprisingly, it wasn't disturbing to me. It was comforting to see my dad completely happy. My dad was never an unhappy person, per se. He loved his job and was content to come home at the end of the day and watch his sports with take-out in his lap, but there was always something missing. I didn't know it before, but now, after he'd found his happiness; I noticed it was the spark in his eyes that was missing. He never had that before Sue, and I was truly grateful to her for bringing it to him. I sat quietly eating my food, listening to the boys. Every once in a while, Edward would squeeze my leg, hand, or where ever his was residing at the moment. He'd also lean down to kiss my cheek or give me a wink. After he and I had finished sharing a slice of Guava Chiffon Cake, which was mouth watering, Edward leaned into my ear.

"You ready to get out of here?"

My headed nodded enthusiastically. Not that I didn't love my dad, but I was feeling extremely left out at this dinner. I really just wanted to be alone with Edward. He gave me his crooked grin and stood from his chair, pulling me up by my hand.

"Well, it's been a long day. I think we're going to head up to our room. It's a big day tomorrow." His eyes darted toward Charlie and gave him a congratulatory nod.

Walking around the table, I leaned over Charlie's back and hugged him around his shoulders. "I love you, Dad."

"You too, Kiddo," he said patting my arm that rested across his chest.

After pulling away from Charlie, I leaned over and kissed Sue on the cheek. "We'll see you in the morning."

"Thank you for being here, Bella. It means a lot to your dad and me."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. Good night."

Edward and I escaped the restaurant hand-in-hand. As we rode in the elevator, I felt my eyelids growing heavier each second.

Grabbing onto my hip, Edward slid me closer to him and pulled my head down on his shoulder. His lips rested on the top of my head. "You tired?"

"Mmhmm, it's been a long day."

The elevator doors dinged open and Edward engulfed my hand with his. "Come on, let's get you to bed."

Sleep over came me quickly, my body physically exhausted. The sheets felt like cool satin against my skin, while the warm, tropical breeze flowed into our room through the balcony doors we left open, and I was in the arms of the man I loved. There couldn't have been a more perfect way to fall asleep.

The next morning we all stood in the Old Lahaina Courthouse as the judge took the bench. The ceremony –if you could call it that— was so official— so impersonal. I felt like I was witnessing two people taking an oath, not giving each other their lives. As much as I knew I didn't ever want a big wedding, I now realized I also didn't ever want to get married in a county courthouse. It worked for my dad and Sue though. When the judge pronounced them husband and wife, my dad took Sue in his arms and kissed her indecently and I couldn't help but laugh as we cheered. The families all took turns giving their congratulatory hugs and congratulations and then we all headed for a traditional Hawaiian luau. After the luau, Sue and Charlie made their escape together. None of us would bother contacting them the rest of the trip. They were staying on the island but we preferred to keep our distance and let them enjoy their honeymoon.

"It's only two o'clock, what should we do today?" Edward asked as we sat in the back of the taxi on our way back to the hotel.

"I don't know, um, how about we go on a hike? Aren't there supposed to be a ton of waterfalls here?"

Edward gave me a little smirk and squeezed my shoulders.

"What?! What's that look for?" I snapped.

"Nothing, it's just hikes to waterfalls take like four hours or longer. It's an all day event. We could definitely go tomorrow; it's just too late today."

"I didn't know geez." Edward laughed. "Then you decide what we should do, Mr. I know everything about Hawaii." Of course, this caused him to laugh even harder, and I couldn't contain the small smile that escaped.

"Well tomorrow I'd love to take you on this all day adventure they have. We kayak up the coast, they stop at different snorkeling spots, and then we hike up to some waterfalls. Does that sound appealing to you?"

"Yeah, I hope I'm in shape for an all day workout like that."

Edward's eyes raked over my body from head to toe, making me feel self conscience. My hands reached down to the hem of my dress and tugged it toward my knee. Edward's hand stilled mine.

"I think you're in perfect shape for any activity." Edward's eyes were darker than usual, as he scanned me over again. I felt myself flush from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, and squirm under his gaze. Embarrassment flooded me as I became aware of how uncontrollable my body responded just from the intensity of his eyes.

"Whatever." I tried to sound annoyed, but in actuality, it just came out as a nervous stutter. Edward smiled and ran his knuckles down the side of my face. Clearing my throat I said, "That sounds like a good idea, but what should we do today?"

"I think we should go back to the hotel,"

"And do what?" It was ridiculous how nervous this man was making me. I re-crossed my legs and tucked my hair behind my ear.

Edward leaned down to my neck and started placing wet kisses over my exposed skin. His husky voice whispered, "What do you think?"

"Uh…. I don't… know."

His lips moved up toward my ear, "Pizza and cards of course."

That jerk was totally playing games with me. Oh revenge will be so sweet. Two can play at this game. "Sounds good to me."

Edward laughed as he pulled away from me. We had arrived at the hotel and he helped me from the cab. We stopped in the gift shop, grabbing some essentials; a deck of cards, Dr. Peppers, peanut butter M&Ms, Oreos, and barbeque chips— so much for being in shape.

Once we were back in our room, I changed into some cut-off shorts and a tank top, aiming for comfort. Edward looked delicious even in his casual tan cargo shorts and fitted gray t-shirt. We spent the whole afternoon playing Gin, Speed, War, and other childish card games, both of us swearing the other person cheated when we lost. We gorged ourselves on all of our junk food and laughing until our stomachs hurt.

We were in the middle of a brain stimulating game of Go Fish, when I realized Edward had been looking at my cards in the mirror behind me.

"You cheater," I shouted as I lunged across the bed at him. He fell backward trying to dodge my attack, catching me by the waist before flipping me over on my back and straddling my hips. He grabbed onto my swinging arms, pinning them above my head by my wrists.

"Hey, I never said I play fair."

"I can't believe you're a cheater. You must know I'm _that good_ to feel the need to cheat."

"Yes, Bella, that's it, I'm petrified of your mad Go Fish skills."

"Now you have to admit that I'm the card champion."

"Fine, you're the card champion by default."

"You're such a pain in the butt." I squirmed underneath him, bucking my hips.

"Be careful Bella." His expression sobered.

"Why?"

"Because you have no idea what you do to me when you writhe underneath me that way."

Before it even sunk into my head what he was saying, his lips were on mine. His kisses were not gentle, they were passionate and hurried. Then as it sunk into my head what he meant, I couldn't help the excitement that coursed through my body knowing how easily he was turned on by me. My kisses became much more aggressive and Edward eagerly took to my lead. We kissed for several minutes until Edward crawled off me and leaned against the headboard. Lately, it seemed he was always the one stopping us from taking things further. It was like, when one of us wanted to lose control, the other one was in control, and vice versa.

"Come here," he said softly, extending his hand to mine.

Holding onto his hand, I scooted my way toward him, resting my head on his chest.

"Do you know how much I love you?" I asked.

"I hope as much as I love you."

"These are some of my favorite times. No big plans, fancy restaurants, formal clothes, or deep conversation. Just the two of us being playful and laughing together. That's all I'll ever need. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah," he answered hesitantly.

"How come it sounds like you don't really agree?"

"No, I agree one hundred percent. It just hit me that you're right. With you and me, sometimes simpler is better than all the hoopla." He looked so contemplative, like his thoughts were in a distant place.

"Ah, you really do know me." I scooted up and kissed him.

"Hey, what if we go down to the beach, the sun's about to set. Then we can go and get some dinner."

A girlie squeal escaped my throat and I jumped up from his arms. "I'm so excited to see my first complete Hawaiian sunset."

Minutes later we were headed down toward the beach. Edward was unusually quiet.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, swinging our hands between us.

"Nope, not at all, just thinking."

"About?"

He gave me his crooked grin. "You and me."

My face lit up with a grin. I was still a little awkward with the mushy stuff, so I yelled, "Race you to the beach." And I took off running as fast as I could in flip flops. I could hear him laughing behind me and the loud thud of his ski size sandals.

I made it half way down the sand before his arms enveloped me around my waist and lifted me off the ground. He sat us down on the sand with me between his legs, my back pressed against his chest.

The sun had begun setting. The bottom of the ball of fire touched the blue horizon that stretched out before us. The sky was a collage of yellow, orange, pink, red, purple and blue, with random spots of clouds that looked like stretched cotton balls. It was one of the most breathtaking natural landscapes I had ever seen. Edward and I didn't say word, just basked in the sights, the sound of the crashing waves, and the warmth of the sand underneath us. Half of the sun had disappeared into the ocean when I felt Edward start to squirm behind me.

"Do you want me to move?" I asked, wondering if he was uncomfortable.

"Never," he whispered into my ear.

"Bella?" he then asked shakily.

"Yeah?" I asked, nervous that something was wrong.

"I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered, nuzzling into his neck.

"I'm going to love you forever, Bella."

I turned slightly toward him so I could look into his eyes. There was something there I didn't recognize, but it caused butterflies to flutter in my stomach. "I want you with me forev—"

His voice cracked and his eyes flooded with tears, as his hand that rested on my hip tightened its hold. My hand reached up and cupped his cheek trying to comfort him and reassure him that I felt the same way and he reached his hand up, covering my own. I didn't know why, but the way his eyes were penetrating deep into my soul caused moisture to take place behind my lids.

"Bella," he choked out softly. "Marry me."

My stomach flipped inside of me, my unshed tears made their escape, and my throat constricted tightly. My heart was so full; I thought it might burst from my chest. Edward wanted me, not just now, not for the rest of the year, but he wanted me forever, and I had a hard time believing this was actually happening. My only response was to blink several times, wondering if I was dreaming.

Edward shifted underneath me, setting me down on my knees in the sand. He rose on his feet and began digging in his pocket, removing his hand as he got down on one knee. We were nearly face to face this way. The sun had set further as the city behind him was dark but his face was glowing. The tears were still pouring down my face.

He took my left hand in his and spoke, "Isabella Marie Swan, I've spent the first part of my life knowing you, and now I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. Will you be my wife?" His eager eyes awaited my response.

"Yes," I sobbed.

The smile I saw spread across his face took my breath away. It was an exact reflection of what I was feeling inside, absolute bliss. He exposed a ring in his hand, and I sucked in a breath. It was the most stunning ring I had ever seen.

The platinum set, cushion cut diamond—that looked like it was at least two carats—was surrounded by smaller diamonds, which also went down the sides of the band. The only word that came to mind while looking at the ring was glamorous. He slid the ring on my finger and it fit perfectly.

Edward wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me against his body. My body was still trembling, and the tears slid down my cheeks. This was the single most important moment of my life thus far. Edward slid his arms further around me splaying his hands against my back. My arms wrapped tightly around his neck and my lips went in search of his.

Once his lips were against mine, I whispered, "I love you, I can't believe this is happening. I dreamt of you wanting to marry my whole life and now it's come true. I feel like this isn't real."

I could feel his lips smile against mine. "I love you too; I've wanted you as _only mine_ since the day I realized I was in love with you."

A sigh escaped my lips and Edward covered them with a kiss that would be described as tender. His lips brushed against mine slowly and gently, like feathers brushing against me. He pulled away looking into my eyes. His hands traveled up to my hair gently brushing it away from my face as he slowly started kissing away my tears. My hands cradled his face and I kissed him. Edward sat back in the sand pulling me into his lap. Our mouths moved in perfect synchronization and with every movement, the kiss became more aggressive. Instead of holding each other, we were now gripping each other. Instead of brushing of lips, our mouths pressed and explored.

Edward pulled away slightly, both of us gasping for breath. He leaned forward, resting his forehead on mine. Reaching down between us, he grabbed onto my hand and admired his ring on my finger. The possessive action made me smile.

"Edward, it's the most exquisite ring I've ever seen."

"It was my grandmother's."

My chest constricted. I couldn't believe he gave me his grandmother's ring. I treasured the ring even more.

"I feel honored to wear it."

He continued moving my hand in different directions. A wicked grin spread across his face. "It looks like I finally found a way to mark my territory."

"I didn't need any marking, I was already yours."

"Yeah, but now everybody else knows it." We both started to laugh at his ridiculous mentality.

A group of locals had started a bonfire just down the beach and they pulled out their guitars and ukuleles and started strumming some island music. We watched as the playful group sang along and laughed together.

Edward's mouth rested against my neck. "Dance with me?"

"Here?"

"Absolutely." Edward stood from the ground still holding me in his arms. He took hold of my hand and held it against his chest and we started to sway to the music.

Edward and I had danced before, but it was always Edward gliding me across a floor and me trying to keep up. This time, it was us clinging to each other and letting the music control our movements. We danced in beautiful silence as I tucked this moment deep into my heart, hoping to never forget what I was feeling in these perfect moments.

"Bella?"

"Mmhmm."

"Marry me now."

"What?!" Was he losing his mind?

"Just give me a minute and then you can tell me no, if you still want to. Neither of us want a big wedding, just our families, right?" I nodded my head. "And, you don't care about the planning and all of that, right?" Again, I agreed silently. "Bella, I want you as my wife now. I don't want to live another minute without you belonging to me and me to you."

I stood there in a state of shock. _Was he serious?_

He kept going with his explanation. "Your family is already here and I don't think my family would be opposed to a Hawaiian Christmas. What do you think?"

"It's a lot to ask of your family, and how can we get a wedding together so quickly? I don't want a courthouse wedding."

"Don't worry about any of that. Do you want to marry me now?"

Doing my best to knock all of the logic out of my thoughts, I listened solely to my heart. It didn't take long before my smile matched my fiancé's. "Yeah, I do."

As soon as the words were spoken, he had me in his arms.

"We're crazy you know that?" I asked.

"Yes, but I don't care."

"Me either."

Grabbing on to the back of his neck, I pulled him to me and kissed him without reserve as my toes curled into the sand.

Edward stopped my ravishing. "Come on, I think we have some phone calls to make."

He grabbed onto my hand and we ran to our hotel. As much as I would smack myself later for thinking this cheesy thought, I literally felt like I was high on love.

Edward grabbed his cell phone from his suitcase and literally jumped onto the bed before scooting back against the headboard. He then eyed me and patted the mattress between his legs. That was all the invitation I needed. Quickly, I crawled up the bed and snuggled against him. Snaking his arm around my waist, he began dialing the phone with his other hand. He pressed a button and then the sound of telephone rings was heard throughout our hotel room.

"Hello?" Came the voice of the woman I'd always considered a mother.

"Hi, Mom," Edward boomed, the excitement in his voice was adorable.

"Edward, how are you? How is Hawaii? How was the wedding?"

"Everything's great. In fact, things are absolutely perfect."

"Great. "

"Mom?" Edward's voice was suddenly very serious.

"Yes?"

"I asked Bella to marry me, and she said yes."

Silence— there was no response from Esme. There was a bunch of muffled sound and then Carlisle was on the phone.

"Edward? Why is your mother crying with the biggest smile I've ever seen on her face? I hope it's not the hormones again."

I felt a lump building in my throat knowing Esme had become emotional with her happiness over Edward picking me.

"I just told her that Bella agreed to marry me."

"Congratulations, Son. How did you get her to agree to that?"

A burst of laughter escaped me and Edward pinched my waist.

Esme had picked up the other phone. "Edward, I couldn't be more thrilled. I just adore Bella. I thought you were proposing at Christmas and we were all going to get to be there?"

"I know, but I couldn't wait any longer."

"Can I talk to Bella?"

"She's right here, I have you on speakerphone."

"Hi, Esme, hi, Carlisle," I chimed in.

"Don't you give us this Esme and Carlisle stuff, you call us Mom and Dad," Esme demanded. "Oh, Bella, I can't wait to start planning the wedding.

"Actually, Mom, that's part of the reason we called. Bella and I want to get married in a couple of days here in Hawaii."

Silence fell through the phone again.

Esme was sniffling again. "You don't want us there?"

"Of course we do—" I gasped. "We wanted to see if you all would be willing to come here for our wedding and Christmas?" How could she possibly have thought we would do this without them?

"I'll cover the cost, if that's a problem with anyone," Edward jumped in.

"Don't be ridiculous, Son; we'll take care of that."

We heard a phone click. "Mom?"

"She's making phone calls. Not sure if they're to the travel agent or your brother and sister."

"Are you sure this is okay? We don't want to upset anyone."

"Who would complain about going to Hawaii?" He asked, as if it were a stupid thought.

"Good, because we really want you all here."

"Let us finish making all the phone calls and we'll call you back. Bella, thank you for making my son so happy. You've always been a part of the family and now you're going to be legally stuck with us."

I giggled, and said, "I couldn't be happier."

Once we got off the phone, I turned around in Edward's lap and started kissing his neck. A groan escaped Edward's mouth and his hand slid under the back of my shirt, causing me to shiver. I crawled up even further against Edward's hard body.

"You're like the most bittersweet torture I have ever experienced," Edward whined.

I dragged my tongue down the side of his ear. "Well, in a couple of days there'll be no more need for self control. Do you think you can handle this torture until then? Or should I just stop."

"Don't stop," he begged with hooded eyes.

The horrible sound of a cell phone rang through the room. Edward leaned over, grabbing the device from the nightstand. "Yes, Alice?"

The phone was not on speaker this time so I could only hear Edward's side of the conversation.

"I'm sorry, but guess what, it's not about you, it's about me and Bella," he snapped at her.

"I know, I was going to call the concierge."

"Something simple, on the beach."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, you need to ask Bella."

"Okay, hold on."

Edward handed me the phone. "She wants to talk to you. It's wedding Alice, still better than Bridezilla though." We both chuckled.

"Hello?" I answered hesitantly.

"Tell him I heard that and I was not Bridezilla!" She yelled.

I relayed the message and got an eye roll from Edward. I stifled my laugh.

"He's sorry Alice."

"Bella, oh my, gosh, we're going to be sisters. I told you. How did he do it? What did he say? What does the ring look like? Is it Grandma's? Did he get down on one knee? Did you cry?" The questions were rolling out one onto another; I don't even think she stopped for breath.

"Alice, slow down. I'll tell you all about it later. You know I can't do girl talk in front of him. But, yes, it's your Grandma's ring."

"Okay, but you have to promise to tell me everything later. Oooh, you should blog about it."

"No blogs."

"Bella, can I do the wedding? I've always wanted to plan a destination wedding. Is this a destination wedding or an elopement?" She paused for a moment in thought not really wanting a response. "Anyway, can I Bella? I promise to keep it small and romantic and you won't have to do a thing."

She didn't realize that this wasn't a sacrifice; it was a dream to me. I knew Alice would plan me a beautiful wedding and there was no way she could get out of hand in two or three days with only sixteen guests. "Sure."

She squealed from the other end of the phone. "Okay, just a couple of questions. Do you want the ceremony on the beach or indoors?"

"Beach," I answered, thinking that would be appropriate since that was where he proposed.

"Can we use the dress I made?"

"Yes." There was no doubt in my mind. Whatever she made would be perfect.

"Last question; day or night?"

"Day."

"Perfect. I promise, Bella, I won't let you down."

"I trust you. Hey, I need to go; someone's beeping on the other line."

"Okay, I'll be in touch. I love you, Bella. I'm so happy for you."

"I love you too. Thank you, you have no idea how much it means to me that you are willing to come here and plan all of this for me."

We got off the phone quickly and I handed it to Edward so he could answer the other line. I mouthed to him that I was going to take a shower while he was talking to his mom. He nodded and I escaped.

As I stood underneath the steaming water, I couldn't help but replay Edward's proposal over and over in my head. Of course, this caused a ridiculously huge perma-grin to reside on my face. My cheeks were literally cramping, but I couldn't make myself stop. I glanced down at my ring— again— this was occurring about every twenty seconds since climbing into the shower. I couldn't believe this was all happening. I hoped that eventually it would, but I never in my wildest dreams imagined it would happen this soon. Edward had obviously been thinking about it as long as I had, since he already had the ring here with him. Wow, he loved me and wanted to start this life with me just as much as I did. The water started to cool and I realized I must have been in the shower reliving this perfect day way too long. Quickly, I washed my hair and lathered up the loofa and covered my body in suds. As I exited the bathroom in my pajama pants and tank, I ran a brush through my still wet hair, glancing up to see Edward sitting on the bed watching sports center. He looked over at me and opened up his arms. Eagerly, I allowed myself to be enveloped by perfection.

"Do you want to call your dad now?"

"Nah, we'll call him tomorrow. Tonight's his wedding night. He's going to have another heart attack when he hears."

I could feel Edward shaking his head. "No he won't. I've already asked his permission, so he knows its coming."

"What?!" I sat up holding up my weight with one arm, keeping my other arm across Edward's hard stomach. "You asked my dad's permission?"

"Yes, remember the day I told you I was at work and you found out I wasn't?"

"Yeah."

"My errands that day were picking up your ring, asking your father if I could marry you, and finishing the purchase of _our _home."

"Wow, I feel even worse for freaking out on you now that I know what you were doing."

"I would have felt the same way if you lied to me and then tried to keep additional secrets. It's over and it's never going to happen again. Don't ruin my buzz of this perfect day." He smiled and pulled me back down against his chest.

"So what are the plans?" I asked, assuming everything had been resolved while I was on the phone.

"Alice, Rosalie, and my mom are taking care of everything in terms of the wedding. They'll all arrive on Tuesday, so we have about forty eight hours to ourselves before the Cullen's take over Maui. The ceremony will be on Wednesday afternoon and then Friday is Christmas day and we'll spend it together as a family. The rest of the family will leave Sunday, and we'll go back on Wednesday so we can be in Forks for New Years."

"Sounds perfect."

"Not really."

"Why? What's wrong?" I asked turning my body so I could look into his face.

"If we get married on Wednesday, I'm not sure I'll be ready to leave the hotel room by Friday for Christmas with the family." My eyebrows pulled together slightly confused by his comment. "Bella, I don't think I'll have had you enough in two days to be ready to share you."

A burning blush coursed over my entire body, and the redder I got the more lust-filled his gaze became. And then he hooked his hands under my armpits, dragging me up his body to lay me on top of him. He stared into my eyes a moment and then pulled my face toward his.

_Oh, no, what if I disappoint him?_

~*~

**Chapter Notes:**

My Rec for this chapter is going to have to be one I've already given you but I love the story. A Person of Worth, by tnuccio. This one just pulls at your heart strings. I love it.

For a picture of Bella's ring, head over to my profile and you'll find a link.

So what did you think of the proposal? Were you expecting it to be this quick? Review, and leave me some love. Pretty please, with an Edward on top.

.?GroupSKU=GRP10013#f+0/0/0/0/0/0


	33. Chapter 33

**Author Notes:**

Stephenie Meyer, this is all yours. Thank you for letting me play in the world you created, for the last year of my life.

Lynelle, I love your guts, hope you feel better. Angie, you are the speediest beta ever Muah!

Some citrus in this chapter, so if you are under sixteen maybe don't read beyond the wedding. Thanks, I have to be responsible.

**Chapter 33**

**The Beginning of The Rest of Our Lives**

Muggy, Hawaii humidity was so much worse than cold, Forks humidity. Edward and I were finishing our run on the beach and I felt like a sweaty pig. My tank and shorts were plastered against my skin due to the embarrassing amount of sweat dripping from my body. I could feel chunks of my hair stuck to my face and neck. My legs burned from the bones out to my skin. Running on the sand sucked. I was longing for the wet pavement or dirt trails of home. Edward looked over at me and smiled, but I was sure deep down he was cringing at my hideousness. Of course, he looked mouthwatering in all of his cover of Runner's World magazine glory. His bare, tan chest; glistening with beads of sweat that trickled down his flat, hard, muscular, delicious stomach, coming to rest along the waist band of his shorts. Every female had given themselves whiplash spying Edward while we passed by. For once I didn't mind that I was falling slightly behind, giving myself the opportunity to ogle his perfectly sculpted derrière draped in basketball shorts— drenched from his sweat. His wet bronze mess of hair looked like he had just been involved in some naughty behavior. My imagination took a turn toward activities that would be happening in about thirty hours. Vivid images of Edward and I ran through my mind and I could feel my legs getting weaker, and my normal running breath becoming erratic.

"Bella?" My head darted toward the sound of my fiancé. I loved how that sounded. "What are you smiling at?"

"I wasn't smiling."

"Oh yes you were." He smirked as he snaked his hands around my waist. "And, I'm pretty confident that even if we weren't running in this heat your face would still be bright red."

"I'm disgusting right now, let go of me." I made a weak attempt at pushing his chest away from me.

"I don't mind."

"Gross, I do. Let's go shower." Edward wiggled his eyebrows at me, with a wicked grin. "I meant separately."

"Damn."

Using my attempt at feminine whiles on him, I gave him a seductive look and said, "Only one more day, Lover Boy." I let my pointer finger trail painfully slow down his chest to the waist band of his shorts.

A slight groan escaped Edward's throat and I giggled as I ran the last hundred feet to the entrance of the house. Edward and I had moved into the house the Cullen's were renting as of yesterday. It was a gorgeous plantation style home with four bedrooms and a very large great room. They wanted everyone to be together Christmas morning and not cramped into one hotel room.

Edward showered first so I could reply to some emails. Once he was done, I jumped in to remove the now dried sweat off my body. I toweled off and threw on some white Bermuda shorts and a black tank top, then hurried from the steam filled bathroom.

When I opened the bathroom door, I was assaulted by the scent of pine. For a quick instant, I felt completely home sick, missing the Forks perfume of rain and woods. My nose followed the aroma to the living room. There stood Edward with a colossal beam on his face standing next to a massive Christmas tree.

"Where did that come from?" I asked in shock.

"I had the concierge from the hotel we were staying at do me a little… okay, big favor. I couldn't let my girls not have a tree on Christmas morning."

This was why I loved this man. When he loved, he loved completely. Those three girls meant the world to him and he'd do anything to make them happy. It was a small glimpse of the lengths he'd go to keep me and our future family happy. I pulled Edward into my arms and hugged him firmly.

"You are amazing, you know that? I can't believe you went to all this trouble for those little girls, they're lucky to have such a great uncle. I love you."

He leaned down and pecked my lips. "I love you too. Do you want to help me decorate it?"

Bouncing in place and letting out an embarrassing squeal, I bobbed my head vigorously. I loved decorating the Christmas tree. "Wow, I can't believe you got the concierge to do all of this for you. I hope you tipped him well," I said as I picked up a box of white twinkle lights.

"No, he didn't do all of this. While you were getting your massage and nails done this morning, I went and picked up all the stuff to decorate the tree."

We strung the lights through the tree, being careful not to let the wires show, and then Edward hauled me up onto his shoulders so I could place the star on top. We flipped off the lights and closed the blinds to make sure the lights were as they should be. Once we made all of the necessary adjustments, we began pulling out boxes and boxes of ornaments.

As I began sorting my stack of ornaments, I found three boxes that made me want to laugh. I cleared my throat, gaining Edward's attention, and then lifted the three boxes he had purchased, letting a giggle escape my mouth.

"What?" He asked with a shrug.

"Tinkerbelle, Princesses, and Hello Kitty ornaments?" I started laughing, picturing Edward buying these ornaments.

"It will make the girls happy."

"I'm sure they will." While I knew he was right, it still was funny picturing a grown man deciding to purchase these for the tree. "Hey… the past couple of days with you have been amazing you know."

Edward made his way toward me. "Really? Even when we fought the entire kayaking trip?"

"Well, you weren't letting me steer, and the tour guide said every couple fights on those things. Plus, if I remember correctly, we were not fighting under those waterfalls during the little adventure."

He gave me an adorable grin as he looked off in the distance obviously reliving the intimate moment.

I cleared my throat again to get his attention— we needed to discuss something that couldn't be delayed any longer. "Edward, I've been putting off asking you something but I'm running out of time. Tomorrow is the wedding and all of your family will be here tonight."

"What's up?" He asked as he continued to hang ornaments from the tree.

My eyes were completely focused on my fingers that were twitting in my lap. "Well, you know since I had no idea we were going to be getting married while we were here, I'm not really prepared for the… honeymoon," I mumbled.

Edward started to chuckle but then looked over and caught my expression. He set his ornaments down and grabbed my hand, pulling me onto his lap as he sat on the couch. "What are you worried about?"

"Well, I'm not on any birth control." I barely whispered, completely embarrassed. The crimson crept its way to the surface. I really hoped this would get easier to talk about once the honeymoon was over. "Do you have any stuff… to you know… um, use tomorrow night?"

I could tell he was doing his best to contain his laughter. "Are you asking me if I have protection?"

I nodded my head up and down. I refused to look at him since he was mocking me, until Edward's finger pulled on my chin— forcing me to look at him.

"Why are you so embarrassed?"

"Cause it's uncomfortable for me to be planning out sex stuff. Plus, you're laughing at me."

"I'm not laughing at the conversation. I think it's cute you're so embarrassed. You and I should talk about this the same way we talk about everything else. When it happens it'll be easier for you to talk about, I promise."

"Maybe. Why is it so easy for you to talk about?"

"I don't think there is anything I would be embarrassed to talk to you about."

"Really? What about tampons?" I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him a smug smile. All men hated anything to do with periods.

"Bella," he said caressing my cheek. "I'm a doctor; you're going to have to do better than that."

"So, I'm going to be the only one that has a hard time talking about _stuff_ in this relationship?"

"Yup, you're scared to talk about sex, feelings, and your insecurities. I'm not afraid to talk about anything… with you. Sorry."

"Whatever, are you going to take care of that _stuff_?"

"What stuff?" he asked, barely able to contain his smirk.

"You know what _stuff_."

"No, Bella, I don't," he said, feigning ignorance.

"You're going to make me say _it_, aren't you?"

He just gave me a smile like the cat that had just swallowed the canary.

"Fine! It's not a big deal. Will you take care of getting the… protection?" I asked, then immediately tried to dart from his lap. His strong arms wrapped around me, holding me in place.

"Hey, I've got something I want to talk about, too."

Raising my eyebrows, I gave him a questioning look.

Edward turned me in his lap so I was facing him with my calves pressed against the outside of his thighs. His hand reached up and held my face as his thumb rubbed my cheek. "Bella, there's something I've been thinking about and I wanted to know your thoughts."

"Okay," I said as I rested my hand on top of his that sat lazily on my thigh.

"Do you remember when I said I wanted to make lots of babies with you?"

A small laugh escaped me as I nodded my head.

"I _do_ want lots and lots of babies with you."

"How many is lots and lots?" I asked nervously.

"As many as you'll give me." He raised his eyebrows at me as if he were asking for a number.

"You want a number? Right now?!" Panic was taking over.

"It's not going to be written in a contract, I was just curious if we were on the same page."

A long breath slowly seeped from my mouth and I ran my fingers through my hair. "Um, I don't know, I guess three or four."

"How long are you going to make me wait?"

I was frozen, unsure of how I wanted to respond to his question. Edward seemed to know exactly what he wanted and I hadn't even given it any thought. I mean, I knew I wanted children, but how soon, I was very unsure of. Two different emotions ran through me at the same time. One was complete panic. We weren't even married yet and he wanted to start having children. Two, was excitement at the thought of us, having a family of our own _soon._ As I observed the excitement in his eyes, I knew I would probably say yes to anything he asked of me, but this wasn't like picking which dessert we were going to share. We were talking about a human being.

"Just hear me out, okay?" I nodded, giving him the go-ahead. "We're almost thirty and I know that's still considered young, but I want as big of a family as you'll give me. I don't want to be an old, tired dad. I want to be able to coach sports teams, wrestle with the boys, cause fear to run through our daughter's dates, take our kids on adventures, and I want to enjoy grandchildren. Do you know what I'm saying?" I did know what he was talking about. I smiled, reassuring him that I understood, and he squeezed my thighs before he continued. "We can wait as long as you need to be comfortable, but I'm ready as soon as you are. I'm ready now if you are." My eyes bugged slightly and he panicked. He sped into a quick closing argument. "We know each other better than most couples do after years of marriage so we don't need time. And just as you planned already, you can work from home. My career can support us, so you would not have the pressure of deadlines. Am I crazy?"

"Yes, I get it. But can I think about it?"

His face was gleaming. "Of course," he said and leaned in to kiss my lips.

"How about you take care of what I asked you to have for the honeymoon— just in case— and I'll let you know."

"Okay."

"Thanks for talking to me and letting me know where you are on this. I'm just a little taken back, is all."

"You want to finish the tree?"

"Yeah, we don't have much time until the family arrives."

While we decorated the tree, I was fairly silent, thinking about Edward's request and what I wanted. He gave me the space I needed even though I was sure the silence was killing him. He hated when he couldn't read my thoughts. I sorted my thoughts into a small pros and cons list. I agreed with Edward about our age, wanting to be young parents, and being able to enjoy our kids and grandkids. I couldn't wait to see Edward with our children. Having a piece of me and a piece of Edward together making a tiny person made my heart feel full, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to share Edward yet. I also wasn't sure what kind of a mother I would be— I wasn't exactly a nurturer. I was also working on this book project and I didn't want to delay that to have a baby. I could tell I was far from being comfortable with a decision, but I didn't have a lot of time.

Once the tree was decorated and the room was cleaned up, Edward and I finished getting ready for the arrival of his family. We ordered some dinner that would arrive in an hour, opened all the French doors, allowing the island breeze to filter the rooms and blow around the Christmas tree fragrance, and turned off all of the lights except for the Christmas tree.

Edward pulled me onto the couch with him once we were done, flipped on the TV, and then turned toward me.

"I freaked you out, didn't I?" He sounded so nervous.

"A little, I'm just really thinking about it. Figuring out what I want."

"Okay." He stared at me, never letting his eyes leave mine.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just love you so much. I feel like tomorrow can't get here fast enough."

"What, you think I'm still going to show up after your request?"

"Oh, I know you will," he said with a devilish grin, leaning in and attacking my lips with his own. He eventually pushed me down on my back and lay on top of me. I could spend every minute of every day kissing Edward. Each time we kissed it got harder and harder to stop. Luckily, the temptation was squashed by Emmett this time.

"Oh, I'm so glad they're getting married fast so we don't have to watch this all the time," Emmett's voice boomed across the room. Edward and I pulled apart quickly and sat up, smoothing our hair and clothes. "Come on, I've got small children here." Emmett had a look of repulsion on his face, and then he gave me a quick wink.

"Zip it Em," Edward murmured

Just then, three squeals erupted through the room all at the same time, the girls made a dash for the tree. "A Christmas tree, Mom! Look, a Christmas tree! Now Santa will definitely come," Emma announced with relief in her voice.

"What do you tell Uncle Edward?" Rosalie asked in a motherly tone, as she dropped her bags on the ground.

All three girls came running at Edward, screaming "thank you" as they wrapped their arms around his legs. He was instantly dragged over to the tree to look at all the ornaments and examine the presents Edward and I had already placed under the tree.

"Congratulations, Bella," Jasper greeted as he kissed me on the cheek. He then followed the other men to the bedrooms to distribute luggage.

The women flocked toward me full of questions.

"So, Bella, did you have any idea he was going to purpose?" Rosalie asked after "oohing" and "awing" over my ring.

"No, I was completely shocked," I answered honestly.

"How did he purpose?" Esme asked as she came to stand beside me, sliding her arm around my waist.

"Well, we were on the beach and—"

Alice screamed from across the room as she exited the bathroom. "Don't you dare tell that story without me!"

The four of us scurried off to the master bedroom and plopped ourselves on the bed. When telling the story of my proposal, it felt like I was telling a story from a book, not something that happened to me. I wondered when it would all start to feel real. After telling them the story, we were all in tears. Then the flood of wedding information hit me from three different sources. Alice, of course, checked to make sure I had completed her list of things to be done before the wedding. I informed her I had received all of the pampering she had scheduled, I had gotten Edward's wedding band, and that he had picked up his tux. She was pleased that we had been so obedient.

A look of pure excitement covered Alice's face and then she asked, "Do you want to see your dress?"

"Yeah," I said and I wasn't lying. I was actually excited to see my dress.

Alice leapt from the bed, ran over to the closet, and pulled out a large white garment bag.

"Okay, so it's simple like you wanted. No lace, beads, or long train, and I didn't make a veil. It's not early 1900s like you mentioned but it's very classic. I know this dress is going to be perfect on you. You have to trust me." She eyed me, waiting for an okay.

"I do trust you. I think that's been pretty evident."

"Good point."

"Gah, will you shut up already and pull out the dress?" Rosalie asked annoyed.

Alice unzipped the bag and pulled out my gown. Tears filled my eyes, and for the first time, I became really excited about the actual wedding event. All eyes were waiting my response. I don't think Alice had taken a breath since she'd made the reveal.

"Oh, Alice, it's perfect." I sobbed.

All three women let out a long breath and started to laugh at Alice's relief.

_Knock, knock, knock._ "Can I come in?" Edward asked through the door.

"NO!" four voices screamed in unison.

"Relax, I was just letting you know dinner's here."

"We'll be right out," I shouted.

The family sat around the veranda on the wooden patio furniture, eating dinner and watching the girls build sandcastles just feet away from where we ate. It seemed, as we sat through the evening, that either me or Edward had to be touching the other at all times. I dropped my head to his shoulder as the sky turned into complete darkness, a yawn escaping my mouth, and I smiled as Edward kissed the top of my head.

Around eight o'clock or so, Rosalie took the three girls in for a bath. Alice stood and informed Jasper and Edward they would be staying in one room together, and she would be staying with me. She began to drag me away, but Edward held tightly to my hand and pulled me back against him.

"Give us a minute, Alice?" he asked her, keeping his eyes on me.

Seemingly out of character, Alice left without argument and the rest of the Cullens followed her lead into the house.

"Wow, when did you get so powerful?" I teased.

Edward didn't even respond, he just held my gaze, looking serious. "Alice said I can't see you until the ceremony tomorrow, so I wanted to kiss you good night."

I leaned in to kiss him but his hand reached up, cupping my face, keeping me inches away from his lips. His eyes suddenly glistened with moisture. "I can't believe you're marrying me tomorrow. I feel like my life is perfect right now, and I know it's because I have you. I love you."

Then, ever so slowly, he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. I felt a tear drop from his eye, landing where our cheeks were joined. His hand slid to the back of my head and he ran his fingers through my hair. He pulled away slightly and rested his forehead on mine and laced our fingers together.

"How did I get so lucky?" I whispered against his lips. "I love you."

"The luck is mine. I'll be waiting for you tomorrow, don't' leave me hanging." He squeezed my hand and walked me back inside.

Strangely, the house was silent at an early hour. Alice had performed all of her miracle beauty treatments on me, set the alarm, and went over tomorrow's schedule with me. Once everything was settled, she and I laid in the queen sized bed with our arms linked. My body was exhausted and was ready for sleep, but my mind would not slowdown. Alice had been quiet for a while and I wondered if she was asleep.

"Alice?" I whispered.

"Mmmhmm?"

"I'm nervous about tomorrow night."

"Edward loves you, Bella. It'll be fine," she mumbled as she snuggled into my shoulder.

"I know Edward loves me, I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about… sex."

I could feel her cheeks lifting on my shoulder, and I could picture her smile. "Bella, you're so lucky that your first time is with someone who loves you as much as Edward does. I have no doubt he will make sure it's a wonderful experience for you." She made a loud gagging noise. "Ugh, I just had a visual of you and my brother. I think I might vomit."

Her disgusted behavior caused me to chuckle. It seemed like Alice had developed Jasper's gift of calming emotions. "Are you done now? I know it'll be… uh… nice. I just don't know what to _do_."

Alice pulled herself up and sat with her legs crossed over each other facing me. "Okay, what do you want to know?"

Relief flooded me and I sat up mimicking her position. Alice and I spent the next hour talking, me asking questions and she giving me very detailed answers. Sometimes she was disgustingly detailed. There were things she told me that I was definitely opposed to and things that sounded amazing. From the explanation she gave me, sex was definitely not like Hollywood makes it look, at least not in the beginning, she said. Talking to Alice was definitely the best thing I could've done. She eased a lot of my nerves.

"Thanks for everything, Alice. I love you."

"No problem, I'm glad you felt comfortable coming to me. I love you too."

I thought we were going to sleep but then Alice spoke. "Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm pregnant."

"What!?"

"Shh, don't tell anyone. It's a secret. It wasn't planned. I found out the week before the wedding. We didn't want anyone to know I was pregnant when we got married so we kept it quiet."

"Nobody would have cared."

"I know, but I didn't want anyone thinking that's why we got married, you know?"

"Yeah, that makes sense. Are you scared?"

"I was, but we're really happy now. Jasper and I have accomplished everything we've wanted to. We're well traveled, successful in our careers, we have a home, we have each other and now we are ready to be parents. So we're excited even though we didn't really plan for it to happen this way. Everything happens for a reason, right?"

"I'm really happy for you. I can't believe you're going to be a mom."

"Scary, huh? Can you believe we're already at this phase of life?"

"No, I can't," I said and then we fell silent.

Most of the night was spent with me awake, unable to turn off my brain. I was nervous about the wedding, about the wedding night, and thinking about Edward wanting to start a family right away. I still didn't know what I wanted to do. Hopefully I'd have it figured out by tomorrow.

~*~

As I sat, encased in the heavily tinted windows of the Mercedes driving me to the location of my wedding, butterflies that had been residing within me all morning tripled in quantity. The hammering against my abdominal walls, due to those fluttering creatures, was making me nauseous. My dad's hand covered my own and squeezed gently. I looked over at him, giving him a tentative smile, and released a long, slow breath.

"You're going to be fine, kid."

"I know. It's still nerve wracking."

"That man loves you and will take good care of you. I wouldn't have given him my permission if I didn't think he was worthy of you."

"I know. I don't have any questions about the kind of man Edward is. It's just the whole ceremony, and… it's… well it's _forever_. How can anyone be sure it will work?"

"There are no guarantees, Bella. You have to just trust your instincts. What's your gut telling you?"

"I love him, and I can't ever imagine not having him with me. I don't know, I can't explain what I feel, it's indescribable, but I'm happy. Happier than I've ever been."

"That sounds good to me. The only advice I'm going to give you on your day is that marriage is hard. There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or person. You will fight, he will drive you insane, and you will drive him insane. But if you love each other every day and are both willing to work at it and not run away, you'll make it last forever."

My insides filled with warmth. I could do that. I could definitely love Edward for the rest of my life, and I'd always be willing to work for us. "Thanks, Dad. That was perfect advice. I love you."

My dad's eyes filled with tears, and he squeezed my hand again. "I can't believe I'm handing my baby over to another man today. How did this day come so fast? It seems like just yesterday I was holding you in my arms, rocking you to sleep."

I fought the lump in my throat and held in the tears threatening to spill over my eyelids. "You've been an amazing father to me. Just because I'll belong to another man doesn't mean I'll love, or need you any less. Edward's got some tough shoes to fill if he's going to be the new man in my life." I winked at him and he smiled. Leaning toward him, I hugged him tighter than I thought I'd ever hugged him.

The car rolled to a stop and I took a deep breath over his shoulder.

"You ready?" My father asked as he grabbed onto the door handle.

"I'm ready to marry Edward. I'm not sure if I'm ready to walk down the aisle in front of everyone."

"You'll be just fine; Edward made this as easy for you as possible."

Edward really did make this as easy and perfect as possible for me. He knew me; he knew my fears, and he knew what would make me happy. The tears began to fill my eyes again. I took that minute to thank God for giving me the man waiting at the end of the aisle.

The sound of the door clicking open drew me from my thoughts. My dad had already gotten out of the car and now stood extending his hand toward mine. I took one last deep breath and slid to the edge of the seat.

Once I was out of the vehicle, I tugged my dress into place and my dad handed me my bouquet of white lilies. I rested my hand in the crook of my dad's arm and he led me away from the car. I could feel my feet sink into sand after the first couple of steps. Finally, allowing my gaze to drift down the beach, I gasped at the breath taking view before me.

Alice had kept everything about the ceremony a secret and I actually appreciated it. There were no questions for me to answer, decisions to make, food to taste, dresses to try on, or music to listen to. I trusted Alice whole heartedly with this type of thing and was more than willing to go along for the ride. I knew whatever she did would be spectacular, but what was before my eyes was beyond anything Martha Stewart and her team could have imagined.

White sand stretched out before my eyes with huge hurricane lamps filled half way with water holding floating candles, creating a path that led to a rustic looking wooden pier. Once I was only steps away from the pier, I was able to capture the setting where Edward and I would become husband and wife. Our families were all dressed in white and tan, seated half way down the pier in dark wood chairs. They were all turned around in their seats watching me. I felt the blush cover my skin, but, surprisingly, I didn't have the urge to crawl out of my skin, like I normally would at being the center of attention. Just beyond the seating stood a gazebo made of brown willow tree branches, spheres of green hydrangea's, and assorted sizes of balls made of grapevines holding candles inside, suspended randomly from the wooden canopy. __Standing underneath the gazebo was a large Hawaiian man dressed in a suit, holding a Bible. I could hear the sound of Debussy's, _Claire De Lune_— Edward's favorite— being played on a harp.

Then, what I saw next, almost stilled my movements. Standing up from the front row and approaching the minister, was Edward, his broad shoulders wrapped in a black tux. His bronze hair stood in his usual sexy disarray— exactly the way I liked it, nearly hitting a decorative ball of hydrangea as he stood under the canopy. He turned around then, and I was immediately entranced by his emerald eyes. His crooked smile captured his face and I was left breathless. In that moment, every one of those tiny butterflies that had created a flurry within me all day fluttered away one-by-one. Not only did I know I wanted to marry that beautiful man, but I had to use all of my restraint to not sprint down the aisle toward him.

**EPOV**

Alice had instructed me to sit on the front row and not look back until she gave me the go-ahead to stand in the front. Something about not wanting me to see Bella until she was coming down the aisle. It felt like forever until Alice gave me my cue, and it took all I had in me to not turn around when I heard my family gasping at the sight of Bella. My palms were sweating, my heart racing; I couldn't wait any longer to have Bella here, becoming my wife. When I reached my spot next to the minister, I took one long cleansing breath and then turned to see my bride.

Bella was on her father's arm as they stepped onto the pier. She was more stunning than I ever could have imagined. Our eyes immediately locked, drawn together like magnets. The sight of her caused a beaming smile to come across my face that could not be helped. I took my time letting my eyes explore my bride, starting at the top and working my way down. Her hair was in loose silky curls gathered over her right shoulder held by a large, white flower. She wore more makeup than she usually did, but not enough to take away from her natural beauty. White satin fabric gathered tightly in a crossing pattern starting at the shoulder and ending at her waist covering her torso. From the waist down, her dress puffed out a little, and there was just a slight train, simple and elegant. I felt sorry for any other bride I would ever see in my life because they would look nothing but mediocre compared to Bella.

My dreams could never compare to the beauty of this moment; Bella walking toward me to become mine forever. The sound of the waves crashing underneath my feet, and the beautiful music coming from the instrument at my side, soothed me. Surrounded by all of the people I love, watching me with smiles and tears of joy, I wished I could capture this moment and keep it forever. My heart swelled in my chest so much it was almost painful.

The photographer temporarily blocked my view of Bella as he took several pictures of her walking down the aisle with her father. I was on the verge of frustration by the time he finally moved from my line of vision. She was only steps away from me now and I brought my hand up to my chest trying in vain to calm, my out-of-control heart.

Charlie stopped just a step away from me and took Bella in his arms and kissed her on the cheek. Tears fell from both of their eyes. He then took her hand in his and held it toward me. I could feel the embarrassingly huge smile cover my face as I took the last step to close the distance between Bella and I, and rejoiced in the familiar electric energy that coursed through me as I took her hand in mine. Bella's hand was trembling and I squeezed it, trying to sooth her nerves.

"You're beautiful," I whispered, as we turned and approached the minister together.

The minister spoke about marriage and love, most of which I didn't even hear. All I could think about was the woman standing at my side about to become my wife. Frequently, I stole glances at her from the corner of my eye, and I would often catch her doing the same thing.

"Bella and Edward will now exchange the vows they have prepared," the minister's billowy voice announced. "Bella, you will go first."

We turned our bodies to face each other and I took both of her hands in mine. Bella's eyes dropped to the floor and her hands began to tremble. My thumbs drew calming circles on her hands, trying to still her nerves. When she finally looked up at me, the look on her face caused a lump to immediately fill my esophagus.

"Edward, I've never been openly expressive with my feelings in front of people, but today I can't fight the desire to let everyone know how deeply I love you. I've loved you all of my life. I've always known the man that you are and knew you were what I wanted from early on." Bella hiccupped a sob and I handed her my handkerchief as her tears began to fall. "You loving me in return is the greatest gift any human being could have ever given me. I want to spend the rest of my life walking beside you. I promise to love you through all of our life's trials, and I promise to always keep you as the most important person in my life. As our family grows— as we age and as our lives' evolve—you will always be my center and I will always do all I can to be yours. I promise to love you, honor, and cherish you as long as our souls are one."

More than anything, I wanted to kiss her, but knew I had to wait. Bella slid the platinum band over my ring finger and looked up at me with her dazzling smile.

"Edward, you may now say your vows."

"Isabella Marie Swan, as I've walked through life, I've searched for a partner." My voice started to crack and I took in a deep breath. "Somebody to be my equal, somebody who'd challenge me through life, somebody who'd be my companion in raising children, somebody who'd laugh with me, somebody strong and smart, and somebody who I could share my innermost thoughts with. You are that somebody and much more than I could ever have comprehended I would need. The day my eyes were opened to you, my life was changed permanently—" Tears were now streaming down my face, and I steadied my breath before I went on. "I could never go back to not loving you with my whole heart. I know that with you by my side, I can overcome anything. I will strive all the days of my life to be the man you desire, for you truly exceed all of my desires. I promise to love you all of my life and into the next."

Quickly, I wiped my eyes before grabbing Bella's diamond-filled wedding band. Sliding it onto her finger alongside my grandmother's ring, I looked up at her tear streaked face and smiled. We reunited our two hands and smiled.

"By the authority invested in me, I now pronounce you, Edward Anthony Cullen, and Isabella Marie Swan, husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." I felt like leaping for joy, I was so beyond elation.

Grabbing Bella by her waist, I pulled her toward me, and she immediately raised both of her hands to cradle my face before my mouth was on hers. As soon as my lips made contact, it felt as if nobody else was there. Her soft, feminine body molded into mine as I pressed on her back, forcing her body closer to mine. As I deepened the kiss, her hands slid around to the nape of my neck, and my mind reveled at the realization that I wasn't just kissing Bella, I was kissing my wife. The bliss that swelled within me almost felt like an ache.

The howls and whistles of our families pulled us from our moment of perfection. Reluctantly pulling away from our kiss, I rested my forehead against Bella's. "I love you."

"I love you." The smile she gave me let me know that she was as happy as I was.

We spent the next two—long— hours being congratulated and photographed. I think the photographer literally took a thousand pictures of us. There were two photos taken I was eager to see and sure would be framed on my desk. One was of all three of my princesses kissing me on the cheek in their matching white dresses. The other was one the photographer had shown me, a candid picture he had captured. My arms were wrapped around Bella's waist and we were looking at each other laughing. It reminded me of what it feels like when we're alone together. Once all of the pictures were finally taken, we headed just a ways down the beach from where the ceremony took place for an intimate dinner.

On the sand stood a tent version of the gazebo we were married under. White organza draped over the top of dark wooden branches forming a canopy, with the same decorative balls from the ceremony. Down the center of the tent was one long table that sat all eighteen of us. The table was covered in white linens, and down the center was a trail of sand accompanied by hurricane lamps with floating candles, while green hydrangea nosegays lay between the lamps. It was beautiful. We were all seated and served a five course meal. The dinner was delicious, and the dessert was mini-individual-wedding cakes, that were filled with cheesecake. I didn't think I'd ever had a better meal.

We sat and joked around as our family always did when we are together; I loved how at ease our families were together. We weren't formal and didn't need to be entertained. We were content just being together.

Emmett stood up to make a toast and I panicked. Nothing good could come of this.

"I'd like to make a toast on my kid brother's wedding day. Bella and Edward, we couldn't be happier for the two of you. Bella, how Edward was able to convince you to marry him is beyond any of us." I rolled my eyes and Bella giggled as she squeezed my hand under the table. "But, whatever he did, we are all blessed, because we now have you as a part of our family. You've always been like a sister to me and now you are. Edward… what can I say?" I could see it in his eyes. This was the part I was dreading and I had no idea what he was going to say. "Looks like you're finally getting lucky tonight."

Rosalie smacked him and he sat down, laughing hysterically at his own joke. My mom and Alice simultaneously hissed at him. I could feel the heat of Bella's blush before I saw it, so I rubbed circles with my thumb on the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry, he's an idiot," I whispered.

Bella looked at me with a smile. "Hey, if I'm going to be a part of this family, I'm going to have to grow thicker skin." Her smile turned evil and then she said, "Besides, he's right, isn't he?" Then she winked at me.

My body reacted involuntarily to her response and my breath caught in my throat.

_Oh, yeah I was_.

Suddenly I felt like I couldn't get off that beach fast enough. Leaning over into Bella's ear, I asked, "You ready to get out of here?" I slid my hand across the top of her thigh and squeezed firmly.

"Are you serious?" She looked at my face and answered her own question. "I guess you are." She studied my face a minute longer and then a nervous smile crept over her face. "Yeah, I'm ready." The way she looked at me made me feel like there was a double meaning to that answer.

I didn't need any more invitation than that. I stood from my seat and announced we were leaving. We said our goodbye's to everyone. Dad hugged and told me how proud he was of me, and he was glad I found someone to make me so happy. Mom cried and told me to make sure I treated Bella with respect. The girls were sad I was leaving, but I reassured them I would be there to see what Santa brought them. With the mention of Santa, my departure was no longer an issue.

Emmett tried to hand me a mini Kama Sutra handbook, which I quickly shoved back at him. Jasper said he could tell that Bella and I were truly happy and that everything would go fine tonight. It was really starting to feel awkward, everyone knowing we were off to get Bella deflowered. Rosalie hugged me and told me to take care of Bella, and that she was the best thing I'd ever have. For the first time ever, I couldn't have agreed with Rosalie more. Alice cried like a giant baby, mumbling some stuff about how she had known this would happen since we were kids and that she was so excited to have Bella as a sister. Charlie shook my hand and thanked me for making his daughter so happy, but to remember he always had a gun nearby. Bella finally reached me, her face streaked with tears after her twenty minute hug with my sister.

Lacing my fingers with Bella's, I leaned over and kissed her perfect lips. "You ready?"

She nodded her head and gave me an adorable smile. Before she could react, I reached down and grabbed her from under her knees and carried her the short distance to the awaiting car. Once we were settled in the car, the driver headed to my surprise destination. He hadn't driven fifty yards before Bella was in my arms. Finally, I was able to kiss her the way I had wanted to kiss her all night; without restraint, her body pressed firmly against mine, hands roaming, and breathing labored.

"Bella, I love you so much," I panted as her lips devoured my neck. "You know you're officially stuck with me."

She nodded, making her way back to my lips. "Yeah, it sucks to be me. This is pure torture."

Her fingers tangled into my hair as my lips wandered down her neck to her shoulder. I hooked my finger around the strap of her dress and eased it down, planting wet kisses all over her bare skin.

"Oh, Edward," she moaned.

Much too soon, we reached our destination and I had to pry Bella's arms from around me.

"We're here love. We can finish this inside, when we're alone." Her beautiful blush spread over her body. "Come on." I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the car behind me.

Bella gasped at the sight of the house sitting on the cliff side of the tropical mountains, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The house looked like it was glowing with all of its lights on inside and the setting sun behind it.

Resting my hands on both of her shoulders as I came up behind her, I whispered into her ear, "Do you like it?"

"It's the most beautiful place I've ever seen. Can we go inside?"

"Absolutely." I lifted her back in my arms again, ready to carry her across the threshold of the house. I hurried toward the front door as I heard the gravel crumble beneath the departing car behind us.

"You're not getting sappy on me, are you Cullen?"

"Yes, I am. I think if there is ever a night I can be sappy, it's _this_ night." I held her eyes with mine as we walked into the house.

While kissing her lips, I set her down on her feet. When we pulled apart, her eyes began to take in her surroundings. She made her way around the house, inspecting all of the rooms, and becoming awestruck with the views. Silently, I followed her around the house being lulled by the swooshing sound of her white gown, as she maneuvered her way around. When she finally made her way up the stairs, I couldn't take my eyes off the curve of her waist. At the top of the stairs, she was able to observe the reason I had picked this house— besides the seclusion. The whole second floor was a master suite. Two of the walls were covered with plantation shutters which went from floor to ceiling, and wall to wall. The shutters were completely pushed to the side on one wall, making it appear as if there was no wall. On the other wall, the shutters were all opened, giving us a slotted view of the ocean. Behind us was an open balcony to the downstairs. Bella took a few steps forward, across the plush tan carpet.

"The view is breathtaking," she said as she looked over her shoulder. She was stunning.

"Yes, it is." She grinned as she caught my double meaning.

Bella turned around to face me, still covered in that beautiful pink color. She looked down at the ground gnawing on her lower lip. The atmosphere had instantly changed. The energy in the room was tangible as it pulsed at an unbearable speed. Nerves started to fill my insides, and it was clear she was feeling the same way. Slowly, I made my way toward _my wife_.

My fingers brushed down from her shoulder to her finger tips, leaving them to rest on hers. I could feel her skin rise beneath my touch. Using my thumb, I reached up, releasing her perfect lower lip from her teeth. Her lip was red and swollen, and I leaned forward, kissing the assaulted flesh. I could feel her soft breath extend over my mouth. Gently, I pulled on the small of her back, needing to feel her body against mine. I could feel her hesitance and a slight tremble in her frame. The magnitude of what was about to happen was weighing heavily and excitedly on both of us.

Using both of my hands to frame her face, I forced her to look up at me. "Don't be afraid, Bella. Your happiness is more important to me than anything else in the world. I would never ask of you more than you want or are willing to give. I want to show you physically, how much I love you."

"What if… I don't know what I'm doing. What if I can't… what if you're disappointed?" She tried to look down again, but I refused to break my hold on her. I needed her to see in my eyes all that she was to me.

"You could never disappoint me, Bella. You are all I have ever dreamed of. I know you'll will be amazing because my physical desire for you is constant, and I know you have felt that on several occasions. My emotional connection to you is binding and permanent. You have already given me more than anyone ever has. You are giving me all of you. To know that I'm the only man to touch you, pleasure you, and make love to you is the greatest gift you could give me. Let me show you how much I need and want you."

She nodded slowly and leaned into my kiss. I kissed her slowly, barely allowing my tongue to touch hers until I knew she was comfortable. My hand gently slid from her waist to the middle of her back where my fingers grasped the zipper of her dress. I tugged it down slowly, giving her every opportunity to stop me and let me know if she needed time, but she didn't. My fingertips dragged over her shoulders, pushing her straps down her arms. I waited for the dress to fall, but it didn't. Reaching down, I gently pulled Bella's rigid elbows from her sides, and smiled when the top of her dress fell to her waist.

As I kissed Bella, I grasped her by the waist lifting her out of the mountain of fabric. When her toes touched the ground, I pulled away from our kiss, wanting to admire the woman who stood before me clad in only a pair of white, lacey, barely-there panties. Bella, tried to cover herself, but I held onto her wrists.

"Don't hide yourself from me. I've never had anything take my breath away the way you do. You're perfect."

I picked her up by her waist and carried her over to the huge four-post bed, blanketed it in white mosquito netting. The mattress resided high off the ground, covered in white pillows and a fluffy, white down comforter. I set her down on the edge of the bed, and kissed her passionately, letting my hands wander over her body for the first time. Within seconds, I felt her trembling hands quickly unbuttoning my shirt. She had my shirt and undershirt off in record speed. Her fingertips ghosted over my back and stomach, sending shivers up my spine, and then her hands finally came to rest on the belt of my pants. Internally, I begged her to remove them, and as if she heard my thoughts, she did exactly that, at a painfully slow speed.

Once we were both fully unclothed, I crawled up the bed, pulling Bella up underneath me. As I lay there, looking at the beautiful woman that was now mine, I was awestruck. I spent a great deal of time exploring Bella's body with my hands and mouth. Her moans, sighs, and pleas filled me with satisfaction, knowing I had relieved her of her fears and was now giving her pleasure. Bella's touch coursed physical reactions I had never felt before.

"Bella, I need to be with you, now."

"Me, too, please."

"Do you want me to use protection?"

"No."

With the simple utterance of that one single word, my heart leapt from my chest. Tonight we could be conceiving a child… our child.

"Bella, honey, you have to tell me if I hurt you. I couldn't bear to be the cause your pain."

Bella nodded and pulled on my shoulders, trying to bury her head in the crook of my neck but I refused to lose eye contact with her as we made love for the first time.

What I felt being with Bella was a pleasure I could never explain to anyone. It felt as if our bodies were made to be together. My heart brimmed with a joy I'd never felt. As I stared into the eyes of this amazing woman I would love for the rest of my life, tears filled my eyes. I never wanted to forget this moment; the connection I was feeling with Bella was one I knew not many people on this earth would ever experience. Bella reached up and wiped away the tears on my face as I watched her own tears pour over her cheeks and onto the sheets below us.

"I love you, baby."

"I love you, Edward, always."

Most of the night was spent the same way— loving each other. Bella fell asleep in my arms that night, her perfectly soft skin against mine. I slept heavily, my body exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. When I awoke the next day, with the sun high in the sky, a wide smile spread across my face knowing that if there was a heaven, this was exactly what I imagined it to feel like. Bella started to stir in my arms and I instantly clung to her, not wanting her to move away from me. She turned her face, resting her chin on my chest, and gave me my favorite smile in the world.

"Good morning, Mrs. Cullen."

Her smile widened and she said, "Say it again."

"Mrs. Cullen," I said, flipping her over onto her back, and rested on top of her.

"I love the sound of that."

"Not as much as I do." Her nails dragged gently down my back coming to rest at my waist. "What do you want to do today?"

She quirked an eyebrow, feigning deep thought. "Um, I was thinking; now that we both want to start a family now, we should practice making that baby you want so badly."

"I like the way you think, Mrs. Cullen."

We then continued on where we left off before sleep overtook us the night before. Bella Cullen was all of my wants, needs, and desires wrapped into one human being. I would spend the rest of eternity showing her just how much I loved her. Somehow, in the middle of our crazy and lost lives, Bella was brought back into mine; where I could really _see_ her for the first time. I thank God every day for bringing her back into my life for a second chance and for letting me completely experience true happiness.

**Chapter Notes:**

I can't believe the last chapter is complete. I hope I met all of your expectations. Leave me a review and let me know what you thought.

It would be super cool if all my readers reviewed my last chapter, I'm just sayin.

There is a link for Bella's dress on my profile.

Rec for this chapter, a new story Dawntwilight000 recommended to me and I love her for it. It is HL5 meets The Blessing and the Curse. _Expectations and Other Moving Pieces_ by _chrometurtle_. So good!

Epilogue will be up shortly.


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Steph but the story is mine.

**Epilogue**

_Kill me now! Somebody please put me out of my misery. _

For years, I have heard of marathon runners hitting _the_ _wall_ around mile eighteen. Of course, I always thought that only happened to people who didn't train properly or were not physically prepared. I was wrong, so very, very wrong. I knew I'd hit mile eighteen without even looking at my pedometer, my legs felt like they were compacted with lead. Every step I took weighed a thousand pounds in my legs. Exhaustion was the understatement of the century. Sweat, no problem; lack of oxygen, child's play; cramping limbs, a walk in the park; hitting _the wall_ on mile eighteen of the Los Angeles marathon, a death wish. I couldn't believe I volunteered for this legal form of torture. All those people that said they felt so invigorated after the race were lying through their teeth.

There was only one, no three, other times in my life when I felt this close to death. The first was four years ago, lying in the Forks community hospital, and again two years later. I had been in labor for thirty nine hours and had nothing left in me, yet the doctor was asking me to push one more time.

"_I can't… I can't push anymore," I cried._

"_Mrs. Cullen, you're going to have to. The baby's head is right there. I just need a couple more pushes," the doctor demanded._

_Desperately, I wanted to comply but I was spent. I'd been in labor since yesterday morning and had been pushing for two hours. I didn't know why, but the baby was refusing to come out. Never in a million years did I ever think that having a baby could be this hard. I wanted to give up. I wanted to tell them to either leave the baby in there or they were going to have to take me into surgery. I just couldn't do it anymore. Tears streamed down my face, blending in with my sweat, and water from the washcloths being rubbed on my forehead._

_Sluggishly, I forced my head to look at my patient husband coaching me from the side. He was so amazing. Never once did he complain or ask me stupid questions. He encouraged the nurses to leave me alone. He massaged me, wiped up my throw up, whispered words of encouragement, and fed me ice chips. He stood next to me, gripping my hand, with a pained look on his face. I knew it was upsetting him to see me in this much pain. I felt like I was letting him down. I should be able to do this; this was what my body was made to do._

"_I'm sorry."_

_Concern covered his face. "Hey, you're doing great sweetheart. That stubborn child in there just doesn't want to cooperate. I think we're going to have our hands full."_

_A small smile crept over my face. He was always so great at making me feel better. "I don't think I can do it anymore, Edward."_

"_Sure you can, Bella, you're the strongest woman I know. You have impressed me so much today. I know I could never handle what you're going through. I'm going to be right here with you. You can do this, I know you can."_

_I nodded my head at him and resigned myself to get this baby out. Edward asked if I was ready and I nodded again._

"_Okay, push." Edward counted for me as he helped support my back and pushed back on the bottom of my foot giving me leverage._

_Calling on everything I had left in my body, I pushed hard. I focused on Edward's hands on me. The sound of his melodic voice as he counted to ten, made me feel like I could dig a little deeper. As soon as the word ten escaped Edward's mouth, I collapsed back._

"_You're amazing, baby. You're doing so great," he whispered against my ear and then kissed the side of my head._

"_Bella, I know you're tired, but we've got the baby's head out. I need one more good push and it'll be over." The doctor had just given me the light at the end of the tunnel. One more push._

"_You ready?" Edward asked in excitement. _

_His face was lit up with a beaming smile. Three weeks after we were married, I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified. I didn't think it would happen that fast. Edward couldn't have been more elated. Every day for a month he gave me flowers, sent a masseuse to the house, brought home baby gadgets or clothes, or bought another book on pregnancy and babies— enough to fill a library. Now he was trying to stay focused on me, holding my hand and watching my face, but I could see him trying to look down to see our baby. _

_Edward was dying to know what we were having. We had decided it would be fun to be surprised; of course this upset Alice to no end. She was busy with her two month old baby boy, Brandon and wanted to make plans for the two. Plus, not knowing what it was, hindered her shopping obsession._

_Suddenly, I felt some excitement prying its way through the pain and exhaustion. "I'm ready."_

_Edward leaned down and kissed me before beginning to count again. By the time Edward said six, the baby was out._

"_It's a girl!" The doctor announced. I was still up in a curled position, trying to get a look at my baby girl._

"_It's a girl," Edward cried._

_Edward walked away to cut the cord after laying me back against the mattress. Seconds later, they plopped a little wet ball of pink flesh down on my chest. I had my first glimpse of my baby girl and felt my heart double inside, making room for this little baby I already loved. Her little eyes blinked open and she lay silent, staring up at me. _

"_Hi, baby girl," I sobbed as tears poured down my face, and my body shook with my cries._

_Edward was back at my side. "I'm so proud of you." He kissed my lips. "You were amazing." He kissed my cheek. "You are so strong." He kissed my neck. "I love you so much." He kissed my head. "Thank you. You've just given me the greatest gift I've ever been given."_

_The nurse came over after a minute and whisked my baby away to get cleaned up and measured, and I made Edward go with her. Two hours later, I was in my room, cleaned up, with Edward sleeping in a chair next to my bed, with a tiny papoose in his arms. I was on some kind of natural high and couldn't sleep so I just sat there, staring at the two people who were my whole world._

_The "little princess," as Edward had been calling her since her arrival, started to squirm. Edward instantly awoke and bounced her in his arms. _

"_So, am I never going to get your attention now that she's here?" I asked with a slight pout._

_He gave me his gorgeous crooked grin. "Probably not." He winked and stood from the chair, carrying her over to me. "Do you want to try nursing her?"_

"_Sure." _

_The baby and I spent the next twenty minutes trying to get the whole nursing thing figured out. It was not as easy as one would have thought, and it hurt like hell._

"_I'm glad she looks like you," Edward said as he sat next to my legs on the bed, looking at the two of us._

"_Are you kidding? She looks like you." I pulled back her little pink beanie and flashed him her copper hair._

"_Yeah, she's got my hair. But those giant doe eyes and long eye lashes are all you."_

"_She has your long piano hands and she's gorgeous, so she looks like you."_

"_Yeah, I can't argue with that, I am pretty good looking. She's got your full pink lips. Together we make one gorgeous baby." Edward's chest puffed out with pride. "What should we name her?"_

"_Well, I know you loved the name Elizabeth, which I wasn't a fan of. But now that she's here, she looks like a Lizzy to me. What do you think?"_

"_I think it's perfect." His eyes left baby Lizzy and looked up at me. "How did I get so lucky?"_

"_Eh, you had me fooled. I mostly just wanted your body."_

_Edward shook with laughter and leaned down to kiss me._

"_By the way, I'm never doing this again."_

_A knowing smirk came over his face. "We'll talk about it later."_

Thinking about the love of my life and my baby girl had slivered off some of the edge of the pain. It felt like someone had scooped out a small chunk of the lead in my legs. I looked down at my pedometer; I was just past nineteen miles, seven more miles to go. I allowed my head to turn back, just to see if he was still there. Edward had started to slip behind me around mile seventeen. I could still see him, he wasn't that far behind. He had the speed, but I had the endurance. I hoped I had enough to get through the race.

My iPod shuffled through to another song, landing on one I didn't necessarily like but always made me think of Edward and that ridiculous day in the car he sang it to me.

_I hurried through the hospital to Edward's office as quickly as I could; if you could call waddling, hurrying. I was running about ten minutes behind. Lizzy had decided to put on some eye shadow while I was in the shower, so she had to be thrown in the tub._

_Edward's door was open, so I showed myself in. "Hey," Edward's eyes darted up from his paperwork. "We've got to hurry my appointment is in three minutes."_

"_Daddy," Lizzy screamed from my arms. She struggled to squirm down to the ground, but I held onto her until I could hand her off to Edward._

"_Hey, beautiful," Edward said as he kissed me on the cheek and took Lizzy from me._

"_Are you talking to me or her?"_

"_She's adorable, you are beautiful."_

"_Ugh, don't say that. I'm disgusting right now. I'm four months pregnant and look like I'm seven."_

_Edward shook his head and laughed. We hurried upstairs to the doctor's office and went through the usual depressing weigh-in, pee in a cup, blood pressure, and fundal height measurement— which was always accompanied by, "Are you sure about your due date?" Didn't they know I wanted to smack them every time they asked that?_

_Soon enough, we were shuffled off into the ultra sound room. Lizzy was behaving very well for a two year old as she sat patiently on her daddy's lap. Of course it helped that he was slipping her M&Ms. The doctor walked in and got all set up and poured the frigid gel on my stomach. Once she set the Doppler on my stomach, the noise level was loud and the heart beats sounded really fast and erratic. Edward's eyes grew in size and he immediately stood from his chair and walked over to the screen._

"_What? What's wrong?" I was starting to panic. I could tell by the sound of the heartbeat something wasn't right, combined with Edward's reaction, and the doctor's silent search in my abdomen._

_My eyes darted back and forth between the doctor and Edward. Suddenly, their faces shifted. Edward wore an enormous grin and the doctor smiled as she nodded her head._

"_What?!"_

_Edward looked over at me. "Twins."_

_Immediately, I looked over to the doctor for her confirmation. She smiled and nodded._

"_Twins? I'm having two babies?" I was in shock. Not excited, not disappointed, but shocked._

_Edward was at my side immediately. "Are you okay?" He leaned down and kissed my forehead._

"_Well… that explains why I'm so huge."_

_Edward and the doctor both erupted in laughter._

"_Bella?" The doctor interrupted. "Do you want to know the genders?"_

"_Can you tell this early?"_

"_Um, I already know."_

"_So do I," Edward chirped in. "Well, at least one of them."_

"_Well, if you know, then yes, I want to know. Besides, if we're preparing for two, let's make it as easy as possible."_

"_They're both boys."_

"_Yes!" Edward hissed as he did a little fist pump._

_Two boys— I was so excited and nervous. I hoped for a boy this time, but I wasn't sure how I would handle two of them. What if they were like Edward and Emmett as children? I was lost in that nightmare as the doctor cleaned off my stomach and handed me the photos of the boys. As we walked to the car, Edward carried Lizzy and held my hand. Edward was busy trying to explain to our two year old that there were two babies in mommy's tummy. I waddled silently next to him, still wondering how I would be able to handle two Cullen boys. Edward took off the rest of the day to take his girls out to lunch. I had been craving beef, which meant we were going to the lodge for some steak. Just minutes out of the parking lot, the most ridiculous song ever sung came on the radio. Edward turned it up and started belting it out._

_Having my baby,  
What a lovely way of saying how much you love me,  
Having my baby,  
What a lovely way of saying what you're thinking of me  
I can see it, your face is glowing,  
I can see it, in your eyes I'm happy you know it  
That your ,  
Having my baby,  
Your the woman I love, & I love what it's doing to you,  
Having my baby,  
_

"_How do you even know the words to this song? It's from the seventies."_

"_My dad sang it to my mom when she was pregnant with Alice. Then it became a joke with them."_

"_Well, it's hideous, never sing it again."_

_Edward laughed after I reached over and changed the station. He slid his hand over mine and squeezed it tight. _

_He looked over at me and said, "You love it."_

Who would have thought two years later, I would have snuck and added that song onto my playlist? I hated how sentimental I could be. Time had flown by; I couldn't believe it had been two years since Garrett and Anthony were born. It seemed like just yesterday.

It only took me a month after I had the babies to start training for my marathon. I had started training after Lizzy turned one and then found out I was pregnant two months before the marathon and wouldn't be able to participate. After the twins, I was determined to run in the L.A. marathon before I got pregnant again. Last year, I was out of town for business, so I couldn't run. I was disappointed, but it gave me another year to prepare. I hadn't been training very long, when Edward said he wanted to run it with me. I was thrilled. We would train together with the kids in two jogging strollers, or we would take turns running and staying with the kids. I was so lucky to have a husband that was so supportive of my goals. I knew Edward would be. That was one of the things that drew us to each other. We challenged each other and supported anything the other wanted to do.

The crowds lining the streets were becoming more compacted and I wondered how close I was to the end. Looking down at my pedometer, I saw I was on mile twenty five. My heart rate accelerated, I was almost done. A sudden burst of energy shot through me and I couldn't control the grin on my face. Peeking over my shoulder again I saw Edward had fallen even further behind, I could barely make out his silhouette. I felt like dancing my way to the finish line. As I rounded the corner onto Ocean Boulevard, I saw the finish line. The crowds were erupting in support for their family members and friends still running. The adrenaline and excitement coursing through me was invigorating. About fifty yards away from the finish line, I saw my family. Carlisle and Esme were holding the twins and Lizzy stood against the ribbon holding a sign saying, "My Mommy and Daddy run fast." A small chuckle escaped my lips and I blew her a kiss as I passed her by, winning me her adorable little grin.

As I crossed the finish line, I looked up to see my time. Four hours, fifteen minutes, and twenty nine seconds. That was faster than I had expected to do. The tears started to pour from my eyes for so many reasons. Despite the excruciating pain in my legs, the sense of accomplishment was overwhelming; the fact that I finally beat Edward was the best feeling in the world.

As I scurried to the side of the finish line— out of the pathway of the finishing runners— I waited patiently for my husband. My hands swiped my face removing the sweat and tears. A volunteer came up to me offering me a cup of water. I swallowed it all in one gulp. I was ready to search the crowd for more water when my eyes lit up. Just feet from the finish line, was my incredibly sexy husband. I leaned over, watching the timer as he crossed the finish line; four hours, twenty three minutes, and eleven seconds. My insides were doing a celebratory dance. I beat him by eight whole minutes.

Once I read the time, I ran toward him and wrapped my arms around him. I could feel his pulse beating under my arms and chest that were pressed against his. He kissed my lips and squeezed me around my waist.

"You killed me," he announced through gasping breaths.

"Yup."

"How bad?"

"Eight minutes," I answered smugly. "You're disgusting," I said as I felt the sweat pouring off of his body and on to mine.

"So are you, I can't believe I'm even touching you."

"Maybe you should get me into a shower."

"I plan on it." He gave me his dazzling crooked grin and I was lost in a world where only Edward and I existed. "I'm proud of you, babe."

Then he kissed me and lifted me off of my feet.

"Mommy," shouted three little voices from the grass beyond the sidewalk.

Edward and I smiled and made our way to our fan club. The boys grasped onto my legs at full force, causing them to tremble.

"Hi, babies. Mommy needs to sit down, okay?"

"Okay, Mama. How come you're all wet?"

I laughed and lowered myself to the grass, instantly pulling my two boys on my lap. We spent a while sitting, trying to recover. Edward and I drank a ton of PowerAde and ate some special carbohydrate bars to replenish our energy. The kids asked a lot of questions like, "What took so long?" The kids told us all about the things they did with their grandparents and I tried to act excited as I felt utter exhaustion kicking in. I wondered how I was going to take care of these kids today, or tomorrow, or the next day.

"Excuse me, Bella Swan-Cullen?"

I turned around and saw a reporter standing alongside the grass, looking down at me.

"Yes?"

"Hi, I'm Sophie Carter with _The Los Angeles Times_. We're interviewing all of the celebrities that participated in the marathon. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions or set up a time to interview you?"

"I'm not a celebrity, I think you're mistaken."

"Mrs. Cullen, authors are celebrities too… and well… your latest best seller is currently number one on _The New York Times_ Best Seller list."

My eyes darted over toward Edward and he shrugged his shoulders.

Esme's voice chimed in, "We'll take the kids over to get some ice cream and we'll meet you back here in a little while." She gave me a motherly wink and started gathering the kids.

As I stood from the grass, Sophie shook my hand. Edward stood next to me placing his hand on the small of my back. He knew how much I hated doing interviews. Even after dealing with interviews and book signings the past three years, I still hadn't overcome my repulsion for being the center of attention.

"First, can I say off-the-record, that I'm a huge fan of your books."

"Thank you."

"I can't wait for the third book in your series. Is there a date yet?"

"In the fall."

"Mrs. Swan-Cullen—" She began a little more formally.

"Call me Bella."

"Okay, Bella, how do you manage to be a successful writer, a mother, and train for a marathon?"

A quick laugh escaped me and I answered honestly, "I don't know. I have a really supportive husband, great kids, and I love what I do. I think with that formula, you can accomplish anything."

The interview went on for twenty minutes. She asked me everything from my workout regimen, to what inspires my writing, to what I like to do in my spare time. Once my kids came running back, she quickly ended the conversation and thanked me as she left.

When she was gone, I turned to my family.

"Are you guys ready to go?"

Edward's arm slinked around my waist and his lips hovered over my ear. "Nope, this is when we say goodbye to my parents and the kids and you and I escape for a few days."

"What?!"

Edward smiled and Carlisle and Esme nodded as they loaded the twins back into the stroller.

"We're staying in a resort and spa in Malibu and they are taking the kids back to Washington tomorrow afternoon."

"Really?" I felt like a giddy child on Christmas morning.

My mind started chanting: _sleep, sleep, sleep_.

Not that I didn't love my kids, but I was exhausted. Edward and I hadn't had a night away, since the twins came. I was definitely due for some one-on-one time with my husband.

Kneeling down, I kissed my kids good bye, thanked my amazing in-laws and waved as they headed toward their rental car. I was so lucky that my kids loved their grandparents so much. Our extended family was picture perfect, who would've thought they'd be mine.

"You ready?" Edward asked pressing his body against mine as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

Answering in the positive, I nodded my head vigorously and he pulled me by the hand to an awaiting cab. We were both so completely exhausted that we were almost asleep when the cab dropped us off twenty minutes later. Exiting the vehicle was painful; every step I took was agonizing, even hugging Edward was tender.

Edward and Esme had planned this whole surprise, so everything had already been set up. The hotel room was beautiful, open and spacious with ocean view windows. It had the feel of a cabana. Our luggage was already there and the fridge was stocked with all our favorite snacks. My eyes were drawn to the giant bed that lay in the center of the bedroom; my body begged me to crawl in and go to sleep. I was about to take my first step toward the bed when Edward interrupted me.

"Babe, we're scheduled to have some in-room massages in about forty five minutes. What do you think about showering, relaxing in that jetted tub for two, and getting something to eat before they get here?"

"Sounds like heaven." I started to strip off my clothes and Edward wiggled his eyebrows at me. "Don't even think about it. I can barely move."

Edward laughed. "I know as much as you are heightening my senses, I have a feeling if we tried anything, I might collapse on top of you and not be able to get back up."

"Come on, _Old Man River_; let's go rid ourselves of this stench."

"Speak for yourself, I smell like roses."

Rolling my eyes and shaking my head, I finished removing my clothes— that would need to be burned— and headed into the bathroom. I stopped abruptly when I saw ten different knobs inside the shower, wondering when taking a shower became so complicated. Edward stepped past me and began turning and adjusting heads and handles.

"Come on, Bella. The water's amazing."

Walking on my toes, I walked across the cold tile and stepped into the shower. The second the massaging shower heads hit my shoulders, back, and legs, my body slowly started to release its tension. Edward eyed me and stalked forward, making me feel like a teenager as I began to giggle. His hands slowly roamed my body as his lips crashed into mine and he pressed me against the wall. The excitement of kissing Edward had not decreased in the last five years; I doubted I would ever grow tired of feeling his body under my hands. Edward pulled away from my lips and eyed me.

"Turn around," he commanded.

"Edward, I—"

"Just turn around," he interrupted my argument.

Seconds later, I felt his fingers massaging through my scalp and the shower filled with the scent of strawberries. Edward washed and conditioned my hair with me moaning the entire time. The man sure knew his way into my heart. Once he had rinsed out my hair, I felt the loofa lathering my body and the strawberry aroma was quickly being replaced with lavender. Edward washed my entire body, the loofa lingering on some parts longer than others. He claimed my breasts and booty needed to be cleaned more than the rest of my body. Pervert!

Once my body was free of suds, I stole the poof from him and began scrubbing his hard body. If our bodies weren't so completely beat up, this could've been very erotic. Once Edward was all rinsed, he stepped out and started the bathtub. As we both tried lowering ourselves into the deep tub, grunts and groans escaped our mouths. We sat with our heads at opposite ends of the tub. Once the water level had raised enough, Edward turned on the jets. He then grabbed my feet and started rubbing them.

"Ahhh, I don't deserve you. You are amazing."

"I know," he said with a smirk. My foot that rested on his stomach shoved him, and he gripped my foot harder.

"I don't think I have any desire to run another marathon. I can say I did it, and now I can move on to another goal."

"As much as I can't stand the fact that you worked me in that race, I'm really proud of you, Bella. You are an incredible woman. You are a very sexy wife, a phenomenal mother, a famous writer, a stellar athlete, and my best friend. I hope you don't figure out that you're way too good for me one day, and take off with that Josh Duhamel you think is so hot."

"Hey, he's on my list so if I ever meet him, I have the go ahead."

Edward grabbed my thighs and started tickling me. I squirmed and fought against him until I found myself straddling his lap. Leaning in, I covered his mouth with mine, giving him everything I had in the kiss and he wrapped his arms around my waist, giving himself back to me.

Pulling back, I looked him in the eye, my fingers caressing his neck. "You know all I'll ever want is you. You are all the sexiness I need, Dr. Cullen," I said in my most seductive voice.

A small growl escaped Edward's throat and he attacked my lips again. My hormones were one stroke of Edwards tongue away from becoming more of a priority than my aching body, then there was a knock at the door, and we both groaned in frustration.

"Damn, it's our massages." Edward's forehead leaned against mine, his eyes closed.

"Better that than when the kids knock on the door as we get going."

"Ah, so true." Edward smiled as he pulled back, and then kissed me as he lifted me off his lap and got out of the tub.

I pulled the plug on the drain; towel dried off, wrapped my robe around myself and hurried into the living area to enjoy my massage. After our massages, Edward and I were paralyzed with relaxation and we barely made it to the bed, where we passed out for several hours.

Slowly, I began to stretch my body that was cocooned in the softest sheets ever. After several stretches, I blinked my eyes open and stared into darkness. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was nine o'clock in the evening. I felt so good and well rested, but I was wide awake only an hour before I normally went to bed.

I felt like a child. I was awake and didn't want to be awake alone, so I wanted Edward to wake up with me. Maybe we could go eat. I scooted across the bed and snuggled into him, his rhythmic breathing didn't change. So I snuggled into him further, throwing my leg over his hip. This disrupted Edward's breathing, and he pressed his body further against me. Suddenly my body was very aware that we were both still naked from our bath and massages.

"Wake up," I whispered into his neck and then flicked it with my tongue.

Edward pushed on my hip and rolled me onto my back as he rolled on top of me. He reached over and turned on the lamp.

"That was a nice wake up call."

"I do my best."

"Shh, listen… do you hear that?"

"What?" I asked nervously lifting my neck to look around.

"Silence. There are no kids to call for us as we approach ultimate bliss. We are both well rested and recovered. We have a giant bed here and thick walls. All signs are giving me the all clear to take you how ever I want." His face contained a wicked grin and I was instantly turned on.

"Oh really, and how are you planning on doing that?"

"Well, do you remember when we got married and we didn't leave the hotel for almost three days?"

A small giggle leaked out of my mouth as several naughty images ran through my mind. "Mmmhmm, fondly."

"Well, I was thinking we need to go for a repeat."

"When do we start, because I wa—" My question was interrupted and answered as Edward took control of my body.

Never in the first twenty eight years of my life would I have ever thought my life would end up this perfect. I'd been married five years to the man of my dreams. I'd loved him all of my life, whether I wanted to admit it or not. My heart never ventured anywhere; he had possessed it without even knowing it. Edward was an amazing lover, father, doctor, son, and best friend. There was nothing I would change about him. He had given me an amazing life and always supported me in all of my endeavors. Eternity with my best friend was something I could definitely live with.

**Author's Notes**:

I need to give a special thanks to all of you that have read and reviewed Change of Heart. You are all wonderful. Last chapter you blew me away with your reviews, you have no idea how much they mean to me especially now that it's over.

This experience introduced me to some amazing people and I have to thank you all for your friendships. Gernellers, Pears13, GinnyW31, VivaViva, Timmer, LouC, Xtina316, BGAINES and dawntwilight000. You all have taught me so much and I have enjoyed your emails, messages, and words of encouragement. You make me smile.

I have to give a huge shout out to my husband and kids who put up with me spending all of my extra time writing or reading fan fiction.

Many of you have asked if I will be writing anything else and the answer is no. I'm done.

Thanks again for reading and coming along for the ride. Now feel free to leave me one last review. You know what would make my heart melt, is if I received over a hundred reviews for my last post. That's not asking much, it's actually quite pathetic.


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